Meet a Reader | Rachel from Salt Lake City
Hey, everyone! Rachel emailed me last week because Amanda's Meet a Reader post inspired her to want to participate too. And since Rachel sent her answers back so fast, here she is. 🙂
1. Tell us a little about yourself
I’m a 39-year-old queer woman who lives in Salt Lake City with my partner and dog. I’m originally from the South, moved to the midwest for college and stayed for 19 years, and then moved here in June 2021 because of a work opportunity for my spouse.
I’m a two-time cancer survivor, which has greatly shaped the course of my life for the last eight years and given me a deep well of compassion for people living with disability/chronic disease or going through an acute illness (because cancer is often all of those things, not just the latter).
I’ve worked in public health and healthcare for twenty years, and my experiences as a patient influence the impact I hope to have at work.
I also have many passions and hobbies outside of work. I’m a quilter-turned-garment sewist, I love eating and cooking (harder to maintain constant cooking enthusiasm though!), and I’ve recently resumed reading for fun.
I absolutely love lifting weights, and I’m pretty active outdoors year-round (walking, cross-country skiing, and biking are my favorites).
2. How long have you been reading The Frugal Girl?
I think I’ve been reading for over ten years now! All four of Kristen’s kids were little and participating in the annual Christmas cookie decorating activity.
I can’t remember if I initially found it after searching for baking recipes or frugality - maybe it was both!
I was also reading other personal finance blogs at that time, but Kristen’s is the only one I have stuck with because it is clearly the best. I love her vulnerability, practicality, insight, and perspectives on contentment.
3. How did you get interested in saving money?
Growing up, money was always a huge stressor.
I’m the youngest of four children and there’s a significant gap in age between my older siblings and me.
My father had his own business and was an amazing craftsman but not the savviest businessman. My mother was a professor at a major university but never got her Ph.D./tenure, so her pay was lower than her peers and her job security was always a little theoretically tenuous.
We were never poor - I always had a home, heat, food, and clothing - but we always had to be careful and it sometimes felt like disaster was lurking just around the corner. I could see how much energy and time it took my mother to manage our household within the means we had.
As my older siblings grew up and went off to college, I could also see how my parents’ lack of financial savvy was impacting my siblings’ money trajectories.
4. What's the "why" behind your money-saving efforts?
Given how stressful money was for my family growing up, I wanted to avoid being in that situation. But I didn’t really develop a personal compass around money until after I got dumped by my ex-girlfriend (nearly married) six days before starting my graduate program and had to completely rework my finances and student loans to be able to continue my plans without her.
The next two years were a whirlwind but after I graduated, I was ready to try to be as conservative as possible with my spending to begin to save and invest and to reach some financial goals like buying a house and paying off debt.
Now, my “why” is that I don’t want to work for institutions or people that don’t align with my values. I want to be work-optional and choose work that really fills my cup.
I also want to be able to give generously to friends and acquaintances in need. I’ve been the recipient of such generosity and want to pay it forward.
5. What's your best frugal win?
I don’t feel like I have a best “frugal” win, per se, but I do think one of my superpowers is negotiating salary.
There’s only so far you can cut down your expenses, so increasing your income is another way to accelerate living within your means.
Sometimes you have to leave a job to get paid more because it’s often much harder to negotiate big raises once you are in a system.
I always negotiate my salary while considering an offer, and have spent a lot of time mentoring other people in my life who have been marginalized because of their identities on how to effectively negotiate.
Since 2012, I have increased my salary by 270% (i.e. I now get paid 2.7x what I did 2012).
6. What's an embarassing money mistake you've made?
I bought a used car from my sister that she’d bought from my grandparents. It was only $800 but it immediately had major mechanical failures right after I acquired it and I sunk well over $3,000 into it.
I think she was just as surprised and sad about that as I was.
Now I spend a lot of time researching cars for their reliability and longevity before I buy them, and I don’t buy them from loved ones! I also plan on driving the car I have now - a 2018 Subaru Forester - as long as I possibly can.
Unlike when I was in my 20s, I now am fastidious about regular maintenance and cleaning to extend its lifetime.
7. What's one thing you splurge on?
High-quality kitchen gear, though I will buy used/discounted when I can.
For example, I found a brand new, blue 5.5 quart Le Creuset dutch oven that had a miniscule chip in the lid, and it was marked down over $150.
It was still very expensive, but I use it almost daily and it gives me great joy every time I do! Being frugal in other areas allows me to make spontaneous decisions like this when the opportunity arises.
8. What's one thing you aren't remotely tempted to splurge on?
Makeup, hair, spa treatments, etc., and other things that are gendered and are marketed towards women to make them feel like they are “worthy.”
9. If $1000 was dropped into your lap today, what would you do with it?
I would probably invest all of it in our Roth IRAs (one is fully funded, we’re still working on the second one).
10. What's the easiest/hardest part of being frugal?
I don’t find it particularly easy to be frugal, but I do find it worthwhile. I love seeing the progress toward our goals.
The hardest part is having to say no to friends about hangouts that don’t align with our plans for how we want to spend our money. It helps to tell them what our goals are and why, and many of them are flexible about changing the plans to be more in line with our needs.
Friday night homemade pizza with our neighbors is one way we’ve modified plans with them to spend less money on going out! We each make two pan pizzas and bring our own beverages.
11. Is there anything unique about frugal living in your area?
We live in a state which abounds in outdoor recreation opportunities.
Salt Lake City is nestled between two mountain ranges and one of them has several canyons where people run, camp, mountain bike, hike, ski, snowshoe, and more.
Downhill skiing is not a cheap endeavor (entry to resorts is expensive and so is gear!), but hiking, camping, snowshoeing, and cross-country skiing are much more affordable and/or can be free.
There are also five national parks in Utah, and those are relatively cheap to visit (especially if you buy a national parks pass!).
On the way up the famous Angel’s Landing hike at Zion National Park - I made it to the top!
12. What frugal tips have you tried and abandoned?
Coupons, apps like Fetch, Rakuten, etc. I don’t love having all of my spending habits tracked by those apps and I felt like I never could do enough to earn rewards. Not for me!
13. Which is your favorite type of post at the Frugal Girl and why?
Literally all of them? Really!
I love the Five Frugal Things posts because they validate and make visible all the small actions I take daily that help save money (Like Kristen, I’m really good at fighting food waste.)
I also really appreciate Kristen’s posts that are more about her life and the struggles she is experiencing, because they are always, always relatable on one level or another.
14. What single action or decision has saved you the most money over your life?
Starting to use YNAB (You Need a Budget). I have so much clarity about my/my partner’s spending, and I love how I can continually tweak our budget to align with our priorities, which have changed over time! In three years my partner and I have increased our net worth by 5,682.8%! Yes, you read that right.
Clearly, there were many things that factored into that improvement, but cutting out credit card float (i.e. spending money that you don’t actually have yet on a credit card), tracking and monitoring our spending, and aligning money to our goals has significantly accelerated our progress.
15. What is something you wish more people knew?
Unsolicited advice is exhausting and harmful, in just about every realm of life, from being a cancer patient to being the new person at a gym.
If you don’t already practice asking for consent before giving advice, I implore you to do so!
16. How has reading the Frugal Girl changed you?
Kristen’s consistent writing about contentment, gratitude, and resourcefulness has greatly impacted me.
Even though I don’t always succeed, I attempt to embody gratitude and strive for contentment with more frequency than I used to, and I attribute that to her!
Additionally, in a cancer camp I went to, I learned about the concept of “beauty emergencies.” I feel like Kristen captures these all the time with her Thankful Thursday posts and the small things she notices in nature that are strikingly beautiful.
__________
Rachel, thank you for sharing! I am impressed that you love weightlifting (I do it begrudgingly) and I am so happy for you that you've beaten cancer not once, but twice.
I can just imagine how that gives you a sense of appreciation for the life you've been given.
Can you tell us more about the concept of "beauty emergencies"? I'd love to hear!
Also, I am touched to hear that my posts have inspired you to look for the beauty in the world. Yay!
Readers, the floor is yours!
P.S. I don't have any other reader interviews in the queue right now*, so if you want to participate, let me know. Or if you've already emailed me got the questions and have been meaning to send them back to me, send 'em on back and I'll get your post put together.
*If you did email me yours back and I just missed them, please let me know so I can go dig through my inbox and find them. 🙂
I loved your post, Rachel. My 9 year-old just finished her cancer treatment and it has changed the way we see the world. Little things have become more beautiful, and simple (cheap!) things have become enough. Our eyes have also been opened to how much people care about us and their generosity has been astounding. It definitely makes us look for ways to pay it forward, as you said.
Thanks for the tip on negotiating salary at the onset. I’ve often accepted whatever salary was offered just so I could get a job, and then I was stuck on the company’s fixed annual raise plan, resulting in a permanently low salary. Blah.
@Sarah,
Congratulations on your 9 year old finishing treatment! That is a huge milestone and one which deserves lots of celebrating (and ice cream and cake for sure!)
Rachel- as the parent of a 14 year old who is also a two time cancer survivor, your words about how your experiences as a patient gave you a deep well of compassion rang true for me. And @Sarah "little things have become more beautiful" is so very true! People are at heart kind and generous- my son's bone marrow donor, half a world away, went to a clinic at the height of the initial global Covid lockdown to donate his bone marrow for someone he'd never met- pure blind generosity!
Kristin- I think you will be an incredible nurse! We have met so many wonderful, lovely medical professionals, particularly in the pediatric oncology world. Whatever field of nursing you choose, I am so excited for your future patients!
Our experience with cancer has highlighted how very, very, VERY fortunate we are to have excellent health insurance. That is one thing that is super important in my family and factors in highly to my husband's work choices (I am a stay-at-home mom). The same is true for my sister's family as she and her daughter have chronic, long-term medical disabilities and those bills get crazy high crazy fast.
Rachel, thank you for sharing and congratulations on summiting Angel's Landing (among other big accomplishments!) Prayers and continued loving and healing energy for your health and for that of @Sarah's daughter.
@Sarah,
Cheering your daughter’s achievement with all my heart and good wishes.
@Sarah, I hope this next phase in your child’s recovery goes as smoothly as possible. For me and many people I know, the transition out of treatment into the post-treatment phase is difficult because there is less “to do” and you are sort of set free by your oncology team. I hope your family gets all the support it needs!
@MB, I can’t even comprehend being a two time survivor at age 14. So many good wishes to your child and your family and I hope you don’t have to go through any more recurrences. And I echo what you say about health insurance. I have been so fortunate to have excellent coverage through work both times, but/and it’s still so expensive, and as you say, it has been a major consideration in many job decisions. I wish that everyone could just have excellent coverage just for being human.
Thanks for sharing, Rachel.
1. I love the book quilt. It reminds me of a baby quilt my aunt made for my son when he was born-- it is a shelf with jars of bugs (complete with one jar with VW bugs-- my aunt's favorite).
2. I'm interested in the salary negotiation. I don't have a paying job (stay and home mom and homeschooling), but my college son is considering his options for summer employment. I think he is angling for a little higher pay at his last job, and I think he deserves it because he put in long hours and worked hard. But restaurants are struggling right now, so I know money is tight for the owners. Do you have any tips for him to negotiate for a slightly larger hourly wage (given he needs to make enough money to pay for his college education plus he'd really like to save enough to buy his first car)? Is this kind of negotiation even something a kid should consider?
@Jody S., It's easier to negotiate salary when you have sought-after skills and experience. If the job is a minimum wage entry level thing that anyone can fill, unless it's a really tight labor market, it's unlikely negotiation is going to work. Also, negotiation should be based on the superior skills etc of the worker, rather than "we need more money for a car."
I don't think I've ever accepted the first offer in any job I've had (besides working at the dry cleaner's.)
@Rose, exactly right!
@Rose, Do you think he could say something like, "I've always come in for my shifts, I've never come to work high, and I always do more work than is expected of me"? (I kind of thought it was unlikely, but I as a former public school teacher, the concept of job negotiation is foreign to me anyway.)
@Jody S., The first, leave out or change to "responsible worker who always shows up on time." Something like that. Is he ready for more responsibility since he's had experience? That's the kind of stuff hiring bosses love.
@Jody S.,
In my experience of minimum wage jobs, if you show up on time and work for your entire shift with no whining, they generally promote you pretty quickly. The key is that when they promote you, you have to make sure that a pay raise comes up with it. Bosses love to offer job titles like “key holder” or “shift manager” that come with extra responsibility but no pay increase.
I would not advise him to start pay increase negotiations by explaining that he needs more money for college. He could, however, ask if he could take on more hours and/or more responsibilities for extra pay. He can offer to be available on short notice if someone calls in, for example. He can offer to cover shifts for coworkers.
I once negotiated extra pay at a restaurant job by editing the menu (among other errors, they had misspelled the word “raisin” three times in three different ways (raison, raisan, and raisen.) I also wrote a training manual for them and wrote and sent out marketing materials. He could look around and see what needs to be done and offer to do it.
If he is earning tips, he can always work on increasing those by giving exemplary service.
@Tarynkay just said everything so eloquently. Negotiating in jobs like the ones you describe @Jody is much different than in the types of ones I have more experience in. Best wishes to your son!
@Tarynkay, had to laugh about the raisins! Seems like almost all restaurants need a proofreader!
That book quilt is AWESOME.
Rachel,
I love your salary negotiation strategy and "Now, my “why” is that I don’t want to work for institutions or people that don’t align with my values. I want to be work-optional and choose work that really fills my cup." What wonderful traits.
Your quilts are beautiful as is the Salt Lake City area.
I wish you good health going forward.
Thanks for sharing, Rachel! I admire you for your positive attitude and energy. You live in a beautiful area, a hiker's paradise!
I love your quilts! The quilt hanging outside is lovely.
Rachel, your quilts are amazingly beautiful!! I especially love the book quilt, having worked in libraries a while. What kind of garment sewing do you do, and what kind of patterns? Last year I started sewing garments and I feel like I have so much to learn, and I'd love to hear more about your sewing.
Very nice to meet you. Prayers going up for your health!
Hi Rachel! Lovely to meet you!
Your bibliophile quilt is fabulous. What a great gift!
I'm encouraged by you saying you love to lift weights. I've been lifting light weights 4X a week for about a year and still find it difficult to keep going. Though, I don't abhor it as much as I used to.
Also 100% agree w/ your words "Unsolicited advice is exhausting and harmful, in just about every realm of life, from being a cancer patient to being the new person at a gym.
If you don’t already practice asking for consent before giving advice, I implore you to do so!"
Thanks for sharing!
It’s nice to meet you, Rachel. I love, love, love your Bibliophile quilt! I had to smile at your comments regarding “unsolicited advice.” You are very insightful. As a mother of 3, I learned to only give my opinion when it’s ask for. Even then, I try to help those I love evaluate the situation and reach their own conclusion. Whether we are discussing a piece of furniture or a job change, I find it’s best to hold my tongue and be constructive.
I wish you peace, good health and continued prosperity in your beautiful part of the world. Thanks for sharing.
Nice to "meet" you! The quilts are so beautiful.
Seconding that I'd like to hear about what a beauty emergency is!
Given how beautiful your quilts are, I'd love to hear more about the garments you now sew! My MIL made a book quilt for my daughter which she LOVES and it is still on her bed to this day (college age now). And ok - sewist - much better word! Ever since my daughter drew an enormous picture of my face, when she was in 1st grade, and wrote "Best Sewer" right by it (and it kind of looked like a manhole cover), I knew there must be a better word...
Really appreciate your advice about salary negotiations too. For some reason that is such a hard thing for me - but talking about it and giving concrete examples like yours really helps.
@Suz, I had to read this twice to get the joke and now I can't stop laughing...
And most men don't seem to have a problem asking for more money, but some/most women seem to. Why is that?
Hi Rachel,
I think this is one of my favorite reader posts ever! I want to frame your words about unsolicited advice!!!
I love the bibliophile quilt you made for your mom! That's such a great gift. I love quilts, but have zero sewing skills, and am always impressed at how beautiful they are. That one makes my bibliophile heart rejoice!
Do you have any tips on how to negotiate salary? I've always been terrible at that.
Lastly, I like your Friday night pizza with the neighbors. I think I may borrow that idea and talk to our neighbors about trying something similar.
What an excellent read. Thank you for sharing. Two of your comments really resonated with me. The first was about unsolicited advice. I feel you. It really chafes me too.
The second was this statement, "I don’t find it particularly easy to be frugal, but I do find it worthwhile. I love seeing the progress toward our goals."
Hey fellow Salt Laker! I recognized some of the hikes you were on. I don't normally comment on these posts, but I saw where it was from and I just wanted to say thanks for posting! Also, a thousand times yes to the unsolicited advice. I'm a smaller woman who goes to the gym, which means I get a never ending stream of advice from men (it hasn't ever been a woman so far) who feel like they need to "help" me, even when their advice is just straight up wrong.
@Natalie J, I want to add about the unsolicited advice- my second born is 18 months and has had separation anxiety since about 7-8 months. OH MY WORD. I can’t tell you how many times people have come up to me while he is crying to give me advice. It’s embarrassing and just completely unhelpful in the moment, when I am already flustered. It’s made me really think about and make sure I am not doing this to people.
@Katie, What would be most helpful to you when your child is having a crying episode? I have seen this happen at the grocery store and wanted to offer to hold the baby to give the obviously agitated mom a break, or try to distract the baby...at this point I just try to look sympathetic so the person does not feel judged. When we did foster care and a child would act out in public, if it were really a bad episode I would have to bite my tongue so that I didn't say, "This is a foster kid" in response to glaring or judgy looks. I would be happy to hear any tips on how to be more helpful to a parent in your situation.
@Lindsey,
I once had a horrific experience in a public park involving three small children and a poop accident. An older woman was standing nearby and watching and when I finally got it all taken care of, she started coming over. I thought, oh no. Here she comes. She is going to yell at me or tell me she has called cps or something. Nope. Instead, she smiled warmly and said, “You handled that just beautifully!” I wanted to cry, it was so encouraging.
My sister once had a meltdown situation with her two toddlers in a parking lot and a random woman asked if she could pray for her. My sister, considerably flustered, said sure ok, whatever. The woman proceeded to pray over the children. The children calmed down. The woman gave my sister her phone number and told her to call anytime.
About a year later, my sister got baptized. She called this woman and they celebrated over the phone together.
I think that if you sincerely want to help, and your motivation is not to just be “right” you will know the right thing to do. Maybe that is staying 10 feet away and praying for her. Maybe it’s a warm smile and an encouraging word. Maybe it’s just looking sympathetic instead of judgy. I think unsolicited advice is annoying bc it’s more about the advice giver showing off than that advice-ee being helped.
@Lindsey, personally, I feel encouraged when people smile or say something like “you’re doing a great job!” Etc. When we’ve been in the thick of separation anxiety, I have had people come up and say something along the lines of “you need to be leaving him with other people more often so he gets used to it” (while he’s crying). In those moments, I was already frustrated and embarrassed to have made the decision to pull him that day from whatever childcare situation he couldn’t handle (gym, church, etc.). My first was easygoing and never went through this, so it was an eye opener for me.
"But don't you want to put the baby down?" from a healthcare professional that I happened to be volunteering with in another context. I'll never forget that one. At 18, soon to go off to college, I barely see that child! Far too busy spending time out having fun with friends. I promise you, this will pass.
Hi, Rachel,
Congratulations on overcoming cancer twice! That's worth shouting about!
The bookshelf quilt is fantastic! As a booklover, that quilt really grabbed me. You could probably sell that pattern - it's clever and pretty at the same time.
You are really active; I can't imagine hiking during chemo. I feel like your level of activity helps you be an overcomer.
Thanks for the fascinating post!
I had to laugh at myself when I read "2018 Subaru Forester" and thought "Ooo, she drives a new car!" Guessing I might not be the only one around here that thinks that way. 🙂
@Kate, Hahaha!
I saw that and was like "Oooh, good choice, that sucker will drive forever!"
@Kate, me too!
@Kate, same! I have a new car as well.(2018 so... new!)
@Kate, You are not alone! I drive a 2008 Ford Explorer and/or my mom's 2010 Jeep Patriot (she can no longer drive and cannot get in my higher sitting Dora). I loathe making car payments and (IMO) vehicles are the worst investment ever. I always buy used (thoroughly researched!) and am meticulous about maintenance. I will drive these until the wheels fall off! LOL
Hi Rachel!
Gotta say, a little offended by the "makeup hair spa treatments" bit because they are "gendered" and aim to make "women feel worthy." I just got off the phone from a spa arranging a spa day. I get spa treatments because they make me feel good, not to be prettier. Not all of us can hike and ski and bike to feel better and this spa has numerous saunas, caldarium, seawater swimming pool and so on.
And even if I do get things to make me feel prettier, like Botox so I don't squint and frown all the time, so what? I do these things for me, to feel better, not because the patriarchy is forcing me to. (Anyone who knows me well would laugh at that idea.)
@Rose, I believe she was talking about the "marketing" toward women. Ya gotta admit women are the demographic for them and most are not marketed as wellness products even though as you point out, they can be. Also, ironically, if you go back and look at the answer to other MTR interviews, makeup and beauty items is a frequent answer to things we frugalistas don't splurge on. 😉
@Rose, everyone is entitled to their own opinion.
@Rose, Hi Rose. I'm sorry I offended you. I'm glad you spend your money on the things that make YOU feel good and nourish your health. You do you, as it were. And you are correct, I am very privileged in my physical ability to be active. My experience, perhaps particularly as a queer woman who questions a lot of gender norms and also experiences sexism (as I'm sure you do!) is that the marketing of a lot of the makeup, hair, and "wellness" things like spas is premised on making women feel insecure and as if they aren't enough as they are. That's it.
@Rose, There's nothing in Rachel's response that indicates she thinks her personal opinion should apply to anyone else. We should all be so wise on that point.
@Rachel, no need to be sorry. This is "Meet a Reader" not "Challenge a Reader." Your post is about you, not us. I enjoyed it thoroughly and I'm wishing you all the best.
100%.
@Rachel, nicely said, thank you for your gracious response. While I don't spend a lot of money on hair and makeup, I do enjoy a good haircut (makes my life easier!) and "girly" things like makeup and clothing. I understood where you were coming from with your comment and didn't find it offensive. We all have different priorities in spending, and that's what makes this a fun corner of the blog-world.
@MB in MN, I always get this when I don't agree with someone. A pile on. Typical. And then people wonder why women don't speak up.
Whatever. I'll just nod and agree from now on.
Rose, I think it’s not the fact that you disagree that gets you a "pile on". It's the HOW. I will admit that I do not know how you are feeling, but saying, "Gee, thanks." and "Whatever." and such does tend to give the impression that you are being a little spicy.
There are plenty of ways to disagree gently, without assuming negative things about the party you're disagreeing with. It happens around here all the time.
And it is understandable that people are coming to Rachel's defense; she is a reader who bravely put herself out there for this interview, and she deserves kindness from all of us. Please be gentle with readers who volunteer for this; many of them are a little nervous about it to begin with, so you all need to be gentler with them than you are with me and other bloggers.
@MB in MN, completely agreed. I do enjoy an occasional beauty treatment, and there wasn’t a thing in here that was offensive to me. Rachel, I also really appreciate how gracious your response was. You were critiquing marketing, not individual consumers. And yes, this marketing is absolutely gendered! I enjoyed your post very much, so just want to say thanks for sharing!
@Rose, I have to say that your comments often make me think or smile - as do many others. I often learn something new or appreciate the chance to see a different perspective. Thanks for all you add to this forum.
@Rose, Wanna hear something funny about Botox? (But something tells me you already know this...) Anyway, Botox is a recommended treatment for the complications I'm having with my facial paralysis. However, I don't feel I can take advantage of its benefits because somehow injecting something called botulism toxin doesn't sound smart considering my body reacts to fragrances, a few medicines, earrings, shampoos, detergents, contact lenses, and disposable face masks (a 3-week-long reaction!!!!).
@Jean,
Same here! @ Rose, I always look forward to what you have to say, no matter the topic. We can all share our different experiences here, and I'm sure some of us readers like both "girly stuff" AND hiking/outdoor activities. One does not have to exclude the other. Personally, a spa day sounds perfectly marvelous to me, and something I need to plan and schedule for myself some time soon. 🙂
Kristen, what's wrong with being a little spicy? Speaking of gendered, two men are allowed to disagree with one another without a bunch of anxious types clucking in because heaven forfend, some woman disagrees with another one! Please everyone, just agree! Please! Everyone keep pecking at the outcast until she agrees with the group!
So what if I was annoyed by something and said so in a polite fashion? Is that really worth a kerfuffle with Mom (you) and everyone else chiding me?
As for other comments, they're dismissive of things I find kinda useless, like "We're all allowed an opinion." No duh, really? Thanks for that information!
Yes, I know, that's not gentle, so put me on the naughty step for being a woman who's not gentle. Frankly, I don't want to be.
@Jody S., My mom gets it for her paralysis. And she's pretty reactive too. Try it, I would say.
@Rose, I think it’s that your tone is often out of step with what many of us expect from the otherwise kind, tolerant comments on this blog. This may just be a communication issue, as obviously writing is different from speaking, but “No duh, really? Thanks for that information!” about other people’s comments comes across as pretty rude and dismissive. I understand that you think you’re just sharing your perspective, but that comment offends me. But then if I reply, you’re going to accuse me of chiding you? I’m not really sure what you expect to happen here.
I understand that you probably aren’t trying to offend, but I’ve been a bit taken aback by the tone of your comments before, and the first time I read one, I wondered if you were deliberately trolling this community. I’d react the same way to a male commenter saying some of the things you do.
That’s just my two cents, but if you feel like you’re the only one getting a pile on, then I’d consider taking a look at what that says about how your comments related to community norms. This isn’t about your gender - it’s about your tone.
@Rose, I think right now, I'm too scared to try. And I'm willing to wait for awhile to see what kind of progress I make without it.
May I ask about your mother's situation? (And will you forgive if you've shared with me before and I've forgotten?)
@Rose, I don’t disagree with you, and I took your comment in the spirit it was intended. We used to be able to voice an opinion without being made to feel terrible about it, but those days are long gone. I think you were speaking from the heart and so was Rachel. We can disagree with each other and not have that be taken as hatred or racism or homophobia or anything else on the laundry list of crazy — it’s simply a difference of opinion, and we should all be curious about our fellow humans, curious about why they think the way they do, and then just love each other in the end. I hope you don’t stop commenting, because an echo chamber isn’t terrible useful to educating any of us.
@Katie, well said.
@Rose, it's just the way you come off... It is aggressive, confrontational. Why? Frugal girl is a positive and happy place to go spend a couple minutes a day for a lot of us. There enought negativity in the news, it doesn't have it's place here IMO.
@Kris, Same here, I love my makeup and a good haircut, but I absolutely abhor the marketing to women, and especially to young girls, the body shaming, the “not good enough” tone of advertising and the whole “hollywood culture” that pervades the media.. We do need to spend more time and advertising dollars on building up women’s/girls’ self esteem and worth, separate from physical appearance. (imho)
@Jody S., She's paralyzed on one side from a stroke in 2014.
It's OK to be nervous. I don't know myself why a toxin would work to paralyze muscles in some cases and unparalyze them in others, but if it works it works.
@Isa, Yes, I'm an aggressive, confrontational person. Why on earth do you think that's a negative? I certainly do not.
@Katie, my tone is my tone. I'm not gonna apologize for it.
Rose, you know I love you. I truly do. So read this in light of that.
You are free to move through the world however you like. And there are a million places on the internet where aggressive confrontation is the norm. However, this is not one of those places. In a sense, visiting someone's blog is like visiting someone's house; the owner gets to choose what they let in and what they don't.
I want this to be a place where gentle kindness is the norm. Any comments you leave that fit the usual tone around here are totally fine, but aggressive, confrontational comments are not gonna be approved.
You can be mad at me if you want; I can take it. But this rule is in place to help keep this space a happy, gentle haven on the internet.
@Rose, Your call, of course, however people are more likely to pay attention to what you say if you don't piss them off.
Very glad to meet you. We are different but have a lot of similarities, which I think is also one point of this blog.
I also am a 2x cancer (breast) survivor. And a fun story, I came back East, where I live, from hiking out West to have another surgery. After my appointment with the surgeon he said see you at the hospital. I said wait aren't I having a precheck at the hospital before surgery. He looked at me and said you just came back from hiking out West do you think you need a precheck. I was pretty happy about that.
I also have hiked Angel's Landing in my 50s something I am also proud of. Glad I did it back then. Now you have to get in a lottery for a chance to hike it.
Your family situation was identical to mine except I was one of the older 3 siblings. I have a much younger sister.
Finally your paragraph "even though I don't always succeed, I attempt to embody gratitude and strive for contentment with more frequency than I used to, and I attribute that to her"
Her being Kristen. I feel like this exactly. Well said!
Rachel, thoroughly enjoyed your interview and your answer to Q15 was spot on!
Hi Rachel,
I really enjoyed reading your post. So many of your answers resonated with me. I love that your statement that you don’t want to work for institutions or people that don’t align with your values. I live in the deep south and so much of the time at work I have to focus on keeping my mouth shut when certain topics are discussed since they don't align with my values. I once left a company after a senior management told everyone in a staff meeting how we should vote in a national election.
Your quilts are so beautiful. My mom loved to make quilts and I know she would have been so impressed by your work.
I agree that negotiating your salary in a current position can be extremely difficult. Early in my career, I took a low paying job because I was having a hard time finding a job when I graduated. It took me years of changing companies to get my salary aligned with what my female co-workers were making. After working in the same field for over 35 years, I'm still not convinced that my salary is in line with the salaries of my male coworkers.
Great post! Beautiful photos, gorgeous quilts. I, too, am a youngest child with a large age gap between me and the older siblings. Doesn't matter much when all of you are older but when you're 4 or 5 and your siblings are in their late teens it can be a little lonely.
@JDinNM, you just pointed out something I've never been able to articulate but I'm not realizing I always felt and often still do: lonely! Thank you for that insight.
@Rachel, I am the youngest of 4--my siblings are 8, 12, and 14 years older than I am. I love them dearly, but their life experiences are different than mine are and it sometimes is a lonely feeling. Now I'm finding that I am the "last person standing", so to speak, as they are all starting to have health issues related to their ages, and emotionally, it's a strange place for me to be.
@Rachel, I felt a lot of pressure to "just grow up!" So I did. I left home at 17, put myself through college (including a year abroad) and then got my professional degree. I love/loved my family, but I certainly had a different experience than my siblings. I guess every child is born into and grows up in a different family than the children who came before.
@Kris, wow - mine are 7, 10, and 13 years older. I fear this last one standing situation too! Not to mention that my parents are much older for my age than they are for my 52 year old sister. It’s weird!
@Bobi, yes, with the implication that she's superior for not falling for it. Not to mention, they're marketed heavily to men now too.
"Also, ironically, if you go back and look at the answer to other MTR interviews, makeup and beauty items is a frequent answer to things we frugalistas don’t splurge on."
Yes, I've noticed. Usually people will say they're frugal so they can splurge on the things that matter to them, but there's definitely a feeling about good things to spend money on--quilting, which is of course not gendered at all, sports equipment, travel, elaborate cake baking--and not good things, like shoes, handbags, makeup, hair, spa treatments, and clothing not from a thrift shop.
Just making an observation. My shoes are usually flipflops and I own one lipstick and get my hair cut twice a year, before anyone thinks I'm a Kardashian or something.
It IS true that there are a lot of us in this community that have answered that question similarly. But the question is a personal one: it asks, "What are YOU not personally tempted to splurge on?", not, "What do you think no one else should splurge on?"
And I really think we should read their answers in light of that. Our splurges are personal and up to us.
Here's a Meet a Reader featuring someone who loves fashion and makeup, though: https://www.thefrugalgirl.com/meet-a-reader-jodie/
Also: I think it's a little ungracious to read implied superiority in what Rachel said. Wouldn't it be more generous to assume she's just sharing about what she does and doesn't spend money on?
If her whole interview was dripping with superiority, that would be one thing. But after I read her submission, that was not at all the impression I got.
@Kristen, ummmmm, I guess I need to say this, and I have a feeling it’s not going to land well. While I love your blog, there are things that do drip (well, maybe drip is a strong word) with superiority (maybe certainty is a better word here), and I get somewhat irritated but don’t comment, because it’s your blog, not mine. The Covid vaccine issue is one of them (uh-oh, the cats out of the bag). I don’t agree with you in the slightest about your take on the vaccine, and there have been plenty of times I have wanted to say something — if I did, I would hope the other commenters wouldn’t slam me just for stating my opinion. I think Rose is being unjustly trampled on by everyone except Rachel— that should tell us all something.
I don't really mind being told I have certainty (most of us are certain about the things we're doing!), but I definitely do not want exude superiority, and I'm willing to listen and consider if you'd like to point out cases where you feel I've done that.
Regarding the vaccine, I know for sure that there are plenty of FG readers who chose not to get the vaccine, and I've said multiple times that I want vaccinated and non-vaccinated people to both feel welcome here. I see people on both sides of that debate making efforts to exile people on the opposite side, and man, I do not agree with that approach. I think it's better to just do your thing, kindly explain why, and people can take it or leave it.
No one's mind is changed by being exiled or shamed anyway, so even IF a person is trying to proselytize people, it's not an effective tactic.
@OregonGuest, well said. We are/were the minority, but I am glad we held the line. Thank you for saying what I couldn't (for various reasons). There are subjects that are OK to discuss and comment on, and there are those that are not OK - which is perfectly fine because it's Kristen's blog.
Love the book shelf quilt.
I was just in SLC this weekend! Had great food at the Capitol Grill (a chain but terrific steak nonetheless) and Rose's for brunch.
Like so many others, I love the bibliophile quilt.
Thank you for sharing. Your quilts are beautiful.
Fun to meet you, Rachel! Thanks for sharing about your life and I wish you strength in your continuing recovery from cancer.
I visit Salt Lake City on occasion as we have family nearby, and I absolutely love all the hiking and outdoors opportunities nearby. It's like having a treasure chest buried in your backyard.
That said, I have often wondered what it would have been like to live in the conservative atmosphere of Utah or raise my family there as I have queer children. I am happy see you enjoy life there! I hope my kids will visit and form their own relationship with the area as they get older, since they have deep family roots and history there.
@Kristina M., <3 to you and your kids. The atmosphere is really hard and I don't think we'll be here for the long run, but we are making the best of it and trying to enjoy and appreciate all of the treasure chest while we are here.
@Rachel, Come to New Mexico! One of the bluest of the blue states. And we're practically neighbors, touching at the Four Corners.
@Rachel, thank you <3
I am glad to see how much the area has changed for the better in the last 30 years since my first visit, but of course that type of change is painfully slow in any one person's lifetime.
@Rachel, As the mother of a queer young adult and an ardent supporter of LGBTQ+ rights, I was wondering if this issue was going to be addressed in the post or the comments. Since Utah's governor has signed Utah SB 16 banning youth from receiving gender-affirming health care, I have added Utah to the list of states I'll no longer visit. I have been there several times, yes it's beautiful, but it would not be safe for my family to travel there. And I don't want to spend money in a place where LGBTQ+ people are not welcome and where the lives of trans children are endangered.
@Frau Rosen, funny you should bring this up. We moved to Utah to help expand gender-affirming care for adults. After this bill passed in January, the organization I work for decided it was no longer going to provide some of this care for adults - even though the bill was for minors. This is why our time here is limited. It's not in alignment with our morals, and it's not safe for us, even if it is incredibly beautiful and there are many good people here. While we are here were are doing everything we can to support our trans loved ones, of all ages. <3
Rachel, I really enjoyed reading about your life. Congratulations on beating cancer twice! Utah is such a beautiful state. I live in Arizona and loved visiting all the national parks in southern Utah. Your quilts are amazing!
Rachel, this was a fun post for me to read. I love your smile. 🙂 Kudos to you for your overcomer attitude in regards to your health. I appreciate your comment about unsolicited advice--I've been actively working on being a listener first, rather than inundating people with my dubious wisdom. I'm sure I still have a ways to go with that, but I'm trying!
We rented a VRBO a few years ago based mostly on the quilts decorating the apartment (well, ok, and on the location). Turns out the owner of the VRBO has won international awards for her quilting. You have made some masterpieces--thanks for sharing them with us.
Utah is on my bucket list for travel. My family loves to hike, and this looks perfect. We did make it to a corner of Utah a few years ago--we went to Mesa Verde and explored the surrounding area, including Hovenweep National Monument. I am fascinated with preserved cliff dwellings and thoroughly enjoyed that trip. Your pictures are making my inner wanderer come out.
@Kris, "Overcomer"! What a wonderful word. That's what I want to be when I grow up.
Nice to meet you, Rachel. I join the others here congratulating you on beating cancer and hope you enjoy continued good health and joy!
I agree on the unsolicited advice and have been guilty of doing so more times than I care to admit. Now when I sense myself starting to give advice I will stop and ask if they are looking simply to be heard or seeking possible solutions. If it's the former I just sit quietly and do my best to listen. If it's the latter then I will offer advice, but keep in mind that it's entirely up to them to follow it or not.
@AnnieH, I, too, find it hard not to jump to the fixing/helping stage. Sometimes I have to resort to the inelegant but effective “Do you want a listener or a helper?”
@WilliamB, great line actually!
I should start using it, since I also fall in the "fixer" category.
@WilliamB, Well said! I think I will borrow that line if you don't mind.
Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful story, Rachel. Oh my goodness, those quilts! Stunning.
I really appreciated your point about negotiating a higher salary. As a frugal person, I find it more intuitive to try to cut my expenses than to raise my income. I think women in particular are taught not to advocate for ourselves. I've learned (or at least I am trying to learn!) to resist these urges because prudence isn't just about living cheaply. It is about understanding your own worth and demanding it for your future benefit.
I totally agree about Frugal Girl's meditations on gratitude! I sometimes comment on those posts because I know I can benefit from a reminder about all the small (and large) beauties all around me.
Rachel, your post causes much thought and as always, questions.
1. That bibliophile quilt is fabulous!
2. Greenery and water in your 2 first photos made me think, "That can't possibly be Utah!"
3. What does it mean to be "work-optional"?
4. Salary negotiation is an interesting concept. Hiring is always based on the employer's needs (and monetary reality), not on the potential employee's needs, but maybe employers start low, assuming there might be some negotiation.
5. Do you have easy instructions to make pan-pizzas? This looks like an easy dinner without heating up the kitchen (thinking about summertime)
6. "Beauty emergency" is a terrific description. Beauty heals, but thinking of it as an emergency sounds like a great discussion topic.
7. I'd like to hear more about your very strong opinion on unsolicited advice. That is an unusual piece of advice (yes, I am laughing here, but at the irony, not at you.) I don't mind unsolicited advice because I can learn from it, even if it is learning that the "advisor" is not someone to follow.
8. "Sewist" certainly beats the term "sewer", particularly in written form. (snickering a little bit here too) @Suz also noticed this. 😎
Thanks so much for sharing with us, Rachel! What a journey you've had - both geographically and physically!
I love your Friday night tradition with your neighbors. Such a great idea!! And you're inspiring me to mix in a pan pizza with my regular pizza this week. 🙂
I also credit Kristen with increasing my consistency in gratitude and contentment. She's a gift to us all.
Rachel, I really enjoyed your interview! Lots of wisdom and interesting discussion resulted. I love the quilts especially the books. The comment about unsolicited advice really resonates. I have often found it hard to transition from being a parent (advice giver) to stepping back and hoping for the best. I have to resist wanting to “fix” things.
Your photos were also very nice and helpful. Am thinking about how you are honest with others about your financial goals and yet still manage to accommodate frugal socialization. Wisdom there as well. Thank you!
Rachel, Thanks for an interview with so much good stuff. The quilts are awesome (especially the books one), your pup is so sincere looking, your advice super practical—the one about advice is genius!
But most of all your writing today is inspirational as we most likely face something along those lines here. Very great thanks for that part. May good health be yours from now on.
Rachel, thank you for taking the time to introduce yourself. I love your glasses. Your quilt for your mom is awesome. My husband had cancer and after watching what he went through, I cannot imagine how hard it must have been to get your second diagnosis. What a fighter you must be!
Hurrah! Always nice to see another Queer woman hanging out with The Frugal Girl!
That Forester will serve you well! My partner bought one in 2001 and we drove it and drove it and drove it and then gave it to our daughter who then gave it to our son. Everyone was sad when it wasn't frugal to try to repair it. (And our daughter ended up with a used Outback when she bought her first car! She plans on driving that for her whole life since she only puts about 100 miles on it a month.)
I hear you on the beauty marketing - being not even remotely tempted is a huge win. (My partner IS occasionally tempted so we have some compromises in our budget for those once in awhile splurges for her.)
@Denise, <3 <3 <3
Hi everyone, thank you for such wonderful comments! This has been quite fun to post and read. I want to answer questions about: salary negotiation, sewing, beauty emergencies, and pizza! I'll break into separate comments because I have a lot to say... 🙂
SALARY NEGOTIATION:
To answer some questions, I think women don’t (often) negotiate because we aren’t taught how to, and because it’s intimidating. We fear that an offer may be rescinded if we negotiate (I’ve never seen that happen), or that we may appear ungrateful. On the contrary, I find it engenders mutual respect. And if someone thinks you’re ungrateful for asking for what you deserve to make a living then… I’ll let you consider if you really want to work with/for them.
First, do your research on market rate for the position. You can look at LinkedIn, Indeed, and Salary.com for estimates. If you know someone in the company, ask them if they’d be willing to research and share. If it’s internal at your current org, you can usually email HR and ask for the pay range for the position. Divide the range into quartiles. Some orgs hire in the mid first quartile, depending on experience.
Then, determine your bare minimum, sweet spot, and over the moon salary. Make a table with those three as rows and column one as the hourly rate and column two as the yearly salary (rate x 2080 hours). In the rows, note where your rates sit in the pay range of the position (if you know it). You must do this before you get the offer call!
Then practice this script in front of a mirror and with a trusted friend. Practice is critical because it will give you confidence!
“Thank you so much for this offer. I’m really excited about the work and the team. Given my unique skills, I feel that [OVER THE MOON RATE] is more commensurate with my value as a team member. What can we do to bridge the gap between your offer and this rate? At the end of the day, I want to land on something we both feel good about so I can focus on the work and not be distracted by the compensation.”
When you finally get the offer call, allow them to go first so you know where they are starting from. Even if what they present a wonderful offer, still negotiate.
The great thing about this script is that you’re not lying! Give them time to talk to their teams. They will come back with a higher offer. If they don’t, you can decide if you’re willing to take what they offered. Does it meet your bare minimum? What’s their vacation/sick time/PTO plan like? You can often negotiate this in non-profit settings, and in many government jobs you can prove years of service and come in at a higher rate of PTO accumulation (I did this when I worked at a public housing authority and I proved I had 10 years of service already; my PTO accumulation jumped up to the level of someone who had worked their 10 years instead of zero.) Sometimes you can also negotiate remote work schedules, etc.
The last time I used this script was for an internal promotion, about a year ago. Their initial offer to me was above my sweet spot! I still negotiated, and I got something right below my over the moon rate! And it was 30% more than I was making in the job I transferred from in the same organization.
@Rachel, What a wonderful script to follow! Thank you for writing that all out! I enjoyed reading your story.
To continue with unsolicited advice: Another consideration is for things other than salary that might be negotiable: vacation, most convenient scheduling, number of work days, work location, uniform allowance, company vehicle/equipment /electronics/tools, all the insurances, HSA or FSA money, retirement, credit for previous work as you mentioned or sick days, professional development opportunities/tuition, fees, memberships, conferences, certifications/, shorter time until first performance review and potential raise, moving expenses, parking or transit help, meal or snack credits-- there must be more! These things do not necessarily cost the company much money, but make life more convenient for you, might make you more productive, and ultimately, a happier worker is a better worker.
@Heidi Louise, yes, all excellent things that can be on the table for negotiation!
GARMENT SEWING:
If you are transitioning from quilting to garment sewing, I would recommend starting with simple projects that are as close to two dimensions as possible. For example: pajama pants or a simple shirt with no sleeves, buttons, or collar. My first two garments were just that - the Luna Pants and the Ruby Top from Made by Rae (URL below). It makes the transition from 2D to 3D much easier! Until you build experience and confidence, stay away from patterns from the “Big 4” (McCalls, Butterick, Vogue, and Simplicity). Instead try patterns from smaller, independent pattern makers first as they usually provide better instructions, which allow for better results, which builds confidence. Finally, if you have the money and it’s something you are interested in, I would highly recommend the Learning to Sew courses from Sew Liberated. I asked for one of her courses for a Christmas gift and it taught me so many skills and confidence. (Plus for those of you learning/education nerds: she’s a Montessori teacher by training, which shapes her videos!)
Fabric can be expensive. My favorite frugal tricks: shop your linen closet and the thrift stores' linens section (which sometimes even have a “material/fabric” section). Old sheets or curtains are excellent as your “muslin” (test garment) and are low stakes for making errors. Just yesterday I got probably 4 yards of a lightweight sweatpants material and another 4 yards of a midweight woven cotton material that I’m going to make into two more pairs of Luna pants for lounging at home.
Favorite sewing websites and pattern companies:
Made by Rae: https://www.made-by-rae.com
Sew Liberated: https://sewliberated.com
Sew DIY: https://www.sewdiy.com - lots of great videos on her YouTube channel too.
The Crooked Hem: https://thecrookedhem.net
Muna and Broad: https://www.munaandbroad.com
BEAUTY EMERGENCIES:
Experiences of nature that are so beautiful that they cause an immediate need (an emergency!) to stop, experience the awe and wonder of the thing. For example: an achingly beautiful sunset (like the picture of one over a river that I attached at the end of my post), the infinite fractal web of a canopy of tree leaves in early summer, or the way the sunlight comes through the forest and highlights a dried, wispy branch that looks like you caught it dancing in the wind (see the third picture on this post! https://www.thefrugalgirl.com/thankful-thursday-frost-and-a-jellyfish/), etc.
This came from a friend I met at First Descents, and adventure camp for young adult cancer survivors.
Ohhhh, ok, yes, this makes sense to me! That's how I feel when I see lovely things when I walk.
@Kristen, exactly! I always get that feeing from your photos from your walks!
@Rachel, thank you for the explanation. I thought it was an emergency that caused a need for beauty, which could also be true. Because I am an artist, I ALWAYS stop for beauty; it is part of my job, rather than an emergency. Not stopping might create an emergency; actually, not having my camera would be the emergency.
@Central Calif. Artist, I love your perspective here, because cancer feels like a constant emergency and beauty is a way to interrupt it for a moment to ground yourself. I wonder if intuitively that is how my friend came up with this saying, even though she described it to me the other way around.
@Rachel, love how you said this. <3
And finally, PIZZA!
This recipe requires a day of your time (mostly hands off) for a slow ferment, and it does require baking in the oven, but it’s the best homemade pizza I’ve ever made!
https://www.seriouseats.com/foolproof-pan-pizza-recipe
@Rachel, Oh fun! I changed my dinner plan for tonight and made a pan pizza and that recipe was the recipe I had found. I obviously wasn't able to do the overnight proof, but I'm glad to know for the future that is a great one to use! Thanks!
@Rachel, yours looked so good, thanks for sharing the recipe. Will try soon!
@Rachel, phooey. I was hoping it was a 5 minute operation. Cooking feels like such an interruption to me. Thanks for sharing (and for the warning.)
@Ruth T, how did it turn out?
My daughter, age 23, negotiated her salary for a new job this past year. She didn't get what she asked for but did get more than she was initially offered. I was SO proud of her I would never have dreamed of such a thing. When I told the story to my neighbor, a professional woman in her 40's, she went in and negotiated her salary!
@Kara, UGH, I LOVE THIS! Congrats all around.
When someone tells me don’t give advice I know they are telling me to shut up and are controlling me. People share how they dealt with something, it’s part of communicating.
And Rose isn’t spicy, she’s sarcastic, it’s a form of humor.
Thank you for sharing, Rachel! I have always admired quilters, it's such a beautiful art. The older I get the more I have learned my advice is really best kept to myself! I have four kids from ages 16 to nearly two years old and when my first was little I am sure I gave out more advice than I was qualified to give. Now I have definitely learned that every child and situation is different, people are who they are, and what worked for one is no indication that it will work for another.
Rachel, the quilt you made for your book loving mom is beautiful on so many levels. My extended family has had every generation attacked by cancer. It is a horrible enemy and I commend your strong spirit. May you continue to thrive!
So nice to meet another hiker!! My husband and I love hiking in Utah; it is such a beautiful state. Your quilts are absolutely gorgeous.
We are looking for a new car (the insurance finally totaled my Rav4...long story!). I have done LOTS of research and have narrowed it down to two Subaru vehicles. The Forester and the Outback...both Wilderness trims. How do you like your Forester?
@Viktoria M Sacker, I love the Forester. I am 6'1" so the outback is too short for me to see comfortably out the windows. That's why we went with the Forester.
Thanks so much for posting. Love your advice about advice and your photos. My m-i-l never gives me advice when I ask for it but she is constantly telling us what she wants us to do. I hope you stay healthy and happy and I am sorry you were dumped. My first fiance dumped me and I thought that was the end. Five years later, I met my hubby. So grateful the first one ran. This one has staying power, We have been married 22 years and have two kids and one 14mo old Cockapoo named Buddy.
@Anita Isaac, Thank you! Yes, my partner and I have been together for 10 years and married for 6 🙂
I have to first say that your quilts are stunning! What a gift you have. Second, as someone who works in Cancer Care, your unsolicited advice comment is so incredibly spot on and I wish I could make a poster or it and hang it in our waiting room! I loved your post, but especially the salary advice.
Brava!! You have designed a way of life that honors your Spirit, your health, your career goals, relationship goals, as well as your creativity!! Your quilts for booklovers.. beautiful!! I especially “hear you” about unsolicited advice.Our grown son has been ill for 2 years now and everyone we know, I mean no one seems to be able to refrain— has offered multiple “solutions” everything from their expensive, out of state doctors names to heath retreats to multi level marketing ploys for “health”, vitamins, keto diet, no dairy diet, more exercise, less exercise, and more.. it IS exhausting .. but by now, pretty much everyone has spoken their piece and nothing much left.. soo.. we continue to work on healing best we can.. with our own resources.. congratulations on healing /dealing with cancer TWICE. Love those outdoor photos too.. I enjoy hearing how others maintain a frugal attitude.. helps keep me on the path.
Thank you, Rachel! I loved reading about your life and your quilts are just gorgeous!
I'm 58 years old and lifted weights until I was in my early 40s when I let it slide due to the busyness of that chapter (small kids, demanding work, etc.) I started back last summer when my youngest went off to college with the goal of getting my strength back and building a body that would age as gracefully as possible. Man, I wish I had started back sooner because I'd forgotten how much I loved it! I've been lifting 3X a week for the past 8 months and it's one of the best things I've ever done for myself.
I appreciate you sharing your experiences and wisdom and wish you all the best!
Hooray for quilting, hiking and cancer surviving!
So nice to meet you!
Love this post! Nice to meet you, Rachel! We have quite a bit in common. I love your look at the things outside of us - salary negotiation and choosing work that aligns with values, especially as a queer person myself. These are goals of mine and certainly motivators for good spending habits! I could probably get my budget more in check, especially with my spending on experiences and going out for food with friends. I like your pizza idea!