Do you have money dysmorphia?

Reader Reese posted this Yahoo article in the Frugal Girl Facebook group yesterday, and I thought it would be fun to discuss here.

(Thanks, Reese!)

Money dysmorphia refers to the experience of having a “distorted perception of your financial situation that doesn’t match reality.”

Unlike body dysmorphia, money dysmorphia is not actually diagnosable. But it could be an interesting label for the way some of us think about our money. 

Basically, it’s a mismatch between how you feel and what is actually, factually true.

You might feel like you have lots of money (“woohoo, let’s buy everything!”) when you actually do not have a lot of money.

Or (and this might be true for more of us here!), you might have plenty of money but feel like you do not have nearly enough.

The article didn’t touch on this, but what occurred to me is that money dysmorphia could be a very understandable response to a period of life where you truly haven’t had enough money.

If you’ve been scrimping and pinching just to survive for a long time and then you finally reach a place of more financial stability, it could be hard for your brain to adjust to the new reality.

It must be a little like the way people feel when they lose a significant amount of weight; they find themselves still thinking they are in their bigger bodies, even though they are not.

My almost-broke period of life

I thought of the recent years of my life…as you know, I left my marriage, moved into a rental house, and spent several years being not too far from broke. 

My divorce took two years, during which time I paid painful sums of money to my divorce lawyer. Also, during this time I was not getting alimony (obviously that happens after a divorce!) or child support (Zoe turned 18 shortly after the divorce was finalized, so she was a minor during the whole process).

A single income + a high rental market + endless lawyer bills is not a recipe for wealth, let me tellllll you. 😉

I was doing my best to be frugal, of course; as you know, I furnished my new house largely with items from the Treasure House and from my Buy Nothing groups, I applied for scholarships to cover my school bills, and I did all my usual frugal things like cooking at home.

But still…it was financially tight there for a while. I actually did run out of money and I had to open some 0% interest rate credit cards toward the end of my divorce process, just to cover the legal fees until the divorce finalized.

Waiting for the final divorce hearing, in uncomfortable shoes

Anyway, the divorce finalization was just over a year ago, and I must say, it is a delightful experience to not be almost-broke anymore. It is wild how much more money you have when you are not paying a lawyer. Ha. 

Most of the time, I think my brain does recognize the reality that I am in a better financial place. But I will also admit that there are times when I find myself spending an inordinate amount of time trying to figure out a way to save something like $10 on a purchase.

And then I have to remind myself: it’s ok. Ten dollars isn’t a make-or-break thing. Sometimes the right choice is to just throw money at a problem, and I now have enough wiggle room to do that.

Maybe I need a fun budget

Reading this article made me think: perhaps I need a little monthly fun budget, just to remind my brain that I am not actually broke.

I haven’t really budgeted at all since my divorce; it’s just me, myself, and I running my finances and it’s not like I need guardrails to keep my spending in check. Ha.

at a waiting room for a mediation appointment, wearing a clearance-purchased sweater I’ve had since 2011.

the same sweater, on the way to the symphony!

But budgets can be helpful reminders to not just save money, but also to spend it. For very frugal people like me, the process of setting aside money with the express purpose of using it for something fun is really helpful.

Otherwise, we can just be in save, save, save mode and then we miss out on some of the joyful things and experiences that money can buy.

Soooooo, maybe I’ll give myself a little monthly sum of money and assign myself to job of spending it on something that is just fun.

Maybe $50/month? Is that too little, do you think? I don’t even know!

What about you? Do you have money dysmorphia (either type!)?

And you can also give me opinions about how much I should budget for some fun spending. 🙂