You're suddenly homeschooling! And you have questions.
I'm not sure I thought I'd ever see the day when half of the United States population was homeschooling*.
But here we are!
Welcome to the group, everyone. 😉
*A reader pointed out that perhaps a better name for this is "distance learning". Still. You are doing school. At home. So, it's kinda similar to homeschooling. 🙂
I'm sorry you had to join us under such unfortunate circumstances; this is not the way anyone wants to make a huge educational change.
If you decided to homeschool and you had time to prep, plan, and prepare, it would be one thing.
But to be suddenly thrust into it with no choice? Well, that kind of sucks.
I feel for all of you!
Plus, you're homeschooling in isolation without the benefit of tutorials, group field trips, playdates, and more.
It's like the worst of the worst, and you guys are bravely getting through it. High fives to you.
Some of you have been sending me, "HELP ME I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING!!!" messages, and I wanted to write a post to offer assistance.
But, I needed some help figuring out exactly what you guys are struggling with, so I asked on social media yesterday.
And in today's post, I'll answer your questions as best I can.
What do you do with younger kids while you homeschool?
This is tough, I know!
When my kids were still in the napping stage, I chose to tackle school right after lunch, while the smallest people were down for a nap.
I personally prefer to jump right in after breakfast, but nap time just flat out works better when you have several small children.
Children in early grades don't need hours of instruction, so we could usually manage to knock it all out during sibling nap time.
Related: Here's how we did kindergarten
Other options:
- Use the TV or other screens (it's gonna be ok. Do what you gotta do.)
- Go outside, let the small kids run around where you can see them, and do school on the deck/patio with the older kid
- Give the younger kids some busy work (coloring pages, stickers, etc.)
- Do some schoolwork at night when the other parent is home
- Do school in small chunks of time; 20 minutes, take a break for an hour, do 20 more minutes, etc.
- Give a snack to the smaller kids
- Give them a toy/game that you only bring out during schooltime
- Invite younger kids to sit with you and listen while you read aloud. Reading aloud to kids is so, so good for them (even fun books like fiction), and littler kids can often enjoy listening along.
How do you help multiple kids at once?
This is an easy answer: I don't.
Maybe some moms can do this and remain placid, but I cannot.
Jumping back and forth between multiple children and multiple subjects drives me NUTS.
So, when all four of my kids were in grade school, I handled it like this:
At the start of the day, Joshua and Lisey could work on whatever they could handle on their own, and I worked with Sonia and Zoe (who, at the time, did mostly the same work).
The rule was that Joshua and Lisey could not interrupt us; anything they were stuck on or had a question about just had to wait for an hour or two while I focused on helping Sonia and Zoe.
That way, I could focus and get Sonia and Zoe's school finished pretty early in the day. After that, I was happy to help Joshua and Lisey.
Aaaand, I did not try to help them both at the same time.
NOTE: The situation you all are probably currently in is a little more difficult than mine ever was. My kids, once they could read, were pretty accustomed to doing some of their work on their own. So, when Sonia and Zoe were in K and 1st grade, Joshua and Lisey were already used to being fairly independent, and just coming to me when they got stuck. It may take your older kids some time to adjust to working on their own.
How do you handle fighting?
If it's between kids, I think the quickest and easiest solution is to separate them. Send 'em into different rooms to do their work.
It doesn't matter if you have a desk in each room; kids can do schoolwork on the floor or on the bed or outside or in the kitchen. Spread them out!
You could also try having a no-talking-to-each-other during school rule; it's hard to fight if your mouth is shut.
Of course, you can also just handle the fighting in whatever way works for you guys after school and on weekends.
It's just that sometimes, when you are trying to school a bunch of kids, you don't have time to carefully work through and solve every fight; in such cases it's easier just to avoid fighting by keeping some distance between the kids.
How do you handle subjects your kids hate?
I don't think there's a super fantastic way around this; there are just always going to be some subjects we don't love, despite our best efforts to be enthusiastic and choose great curriculum.
So, here's what I try to do.
- Be calm. This is not the end of the world, and your kids will key off of you. Spread good vibes. 😉
- Empathize ("I understand! I felt the same way about algebra.")
- Validate ("I know you don't enjoy this subject, and that's totally ok.")
And then? We just push on through, and celebrate when we're done for the day.
You don't have to like it, you just have to do it.
Adult life is full of things we don't love but have to do anyway, and I think experiencing some of that as a child is good prep for adulthood.
How do you get a break?
Allllll the homeschool parents feel you on this one!
A few ideas:
(These will not all work for everyone. Customize.)
- Get up earlier than your kids
- Put your kids to bed early (older kids could read in their beds, draw, etc.)
- Have a mandatory after-lunch quiet time (again, older kids can read, draw, play a quiet game)
- Send them outside
- Allow a movie after school is done and don't watch it with them 😉
- Tag team with the other parent. If you're home all day and they're not, hand off kid duty after dinner for an hour or two.
How do you manage household chores + homeschooling?
- Have kids clean up after themselves
- Give kids chores in addition to cleaning up after themselves
(Here's a post on how I assign chores.)
- Do some housework during schoolwork (fold laundry while your kid reads to you, clean the kitchen as your kid does math at the nearby kitchen table)
- Lower your standards (you are sort of in survival mode here; it's ok if things aren't pristine. No one's coming over, after all!)
How do you get teens to be self-motivated?
I don't know that you can actually make someone be self-motivated (if you were like, "BE SELF MOTIVATED!!!" and your kid started doing their school promptly, that wouldn't exactly be self motivation, you know? That would still be parent motivation.)
So, I'd worry less about that and more about just helping them get their work done.
That said, I think you have to know your particular teens because different things work for different kids.
But.
I was chatting with Zoe about this question and she said she thinks phones are a distraction for every teen. So she suggested taking away their phones until their school is done. 😉
Or if you have parent-controlled screen time apps, you could allow only certain apps during certain hours.
Other things that could help:
- Have electronics set to turn off at a decent hour at night (our laptop and Sonia and Zoe's phones both have this set up). Unlimited screen time enables super late nights, which make mornings hard.
- Get the teens up in the morning. Schools could be closed for weeks, and getting into a bad sleep schedule (say, sleeping until noon) is probably not going to help your homeschooling at all.
- Try giving them a schedule or a daily to-do list, or collaborate with them to make one.
I feel inadequate. Am I doing enough? Help!
I think a lot of homeschool parents have felt this way at times and I imagine a lot of school teachers have too.
You are not alone!
A few thoughts on this:
- The homeschooling you are doing is probably temporary. You can only mess it up so bad in 8 weeks. Your kids will be ok.
- One of the best predictors of educational success is parental involvement. You're very involved right now!
- Kids in early grades do not need 6 hours of instruction a day. Kindergarten for my kids usually took an hour or less each day. Grade school always took less than 6 hours. Getting work done in less than 6 hours does not necessarily mean you aren't doing enough.
- Remember that learning can happen outside of formal schooling. Your kids can learn while helping you cook, while doing household chores, while playing in the woods, while watching YouTube, while using their art supplies, and so on.
Alrighty.
I think I covered most of the questions you all submitted. Thank you for helping me know how best to help you.
If I missed your question, leave it in the comments here!
If there are enough new questions, I can do a second homeschool Q&A post next week.
P.S. A reader compiled a list of 13 free online resources/activities (such a streaming museum tours), and I put them all together on a page for you. See it right here.
Great post! I will link to this. We have been requiring an hour of reading, 30 min math practice (Khan Academy or Dream box) and then 30 minutes of research on a kid-chosen topic within a field plus a short write up. Yesterday’s topic was contagious diseases. I have been reading reports on chicken pox, the yellow fever epidemic in Philly in 1793 and a fictional account from a modern child in Wuhan (creativity points there!) Now our schools are starting to send assignments so that will likely take over. The preschooler will now have virtual circle time and virtual story time each day with his teacher - curious to see how that will play out!
So, I wrote this post yesterday afternoon and then while I was making dinner, I caught up on your podcast. And I noticed that you and I have some of the same ideas about managing work and kids at home. Great minds think alike. 😉
I love your kids' essay topics!
Thank you for the tips. Another complexity many of us are facing is that we have been told we aren’t going to our day jobs, but have been told we have to telecommute 40 hours a week and be available during normal business hours. While I’m thankful that I’m still getting paid, how do we do our work at home and still keep our kids on course academically? Anyone have any thoughts or experience with this?
That's so hard! A recent episode of Laura Vanderkam's podcast addressed this and she had some ideas that might be helpful to you. You can check it out here: https://lauravanderkam.com/before-breakfast-podcast/
My kiddos are older, and I work in a studio from home not telecommuting, but my husband suddenly is telecommuting. What we’ve found is he has breaks throughout the day, and if he were the driving force for the schooling he could take those moments to direct what’s going on. I’d honestly stick to workbooks/videos (unless they had specific things they are required to complete, here in NM we do not have to do anything) as they don’t take long to explain or set up. My eldest was already home due to mono and she gets her work done in 1-2 hours, mostly textbooks from school/workbooks I bought/reading assigned books. We’ve homeschooled before though so the kids are familiar with this sort of routine, I know it’s really hard to be thrust into it. You’ve got this.
Agreed! My husband works full time from home right now, and I work full time at the hospital. If the schools send mandatory stuff, it will have to be done at night/weekends. They are too young to manage this during the day (7 and 10)
I've been feeling very lucky that this happened when my kids were 15-20 and not much younger! I agree that everyone should just give themselves some grace and do the best you can. The Gov. of IL has said that schools can't take attendance (virtually) or grade work done for the rest of March. this was after the teachers spent 3 days prepping lessons. My youngest is a soph in HS and she has work to do on her own time and turn in a few times a week. My older two in college have crazy expectations on them given the new environment. Some of the professors are expecting them to video conference into their classes at class time, work on group projects, etc. Not all of the college kids are in the same time zone or have the same access to high speed internet. I'm hoping the college eventually provide the profs better direction so some of these students don't have their GPAs really suffer.
There is BBC bitesize for children of all ages and many of the websites used here in the uk have been opened up to anybody free while the schools are off.
skype a scientist has also adapted to skype into family homes instead of classrooms. You can find it online. A lot of educational content is being made available, maybe best suited for older kids.
There is a lot of talk as well about supporting kids that struggle with losing their routine. Our piano teacher neighbor is doing her lessons remotely (I guess with the families lucky enough to have a piano at home), so that they can hold on to that part of their routine. I read that somebody encouraged their kids to journal when the thoughts get too much. I've started doing it myself, and it helps somewhat with the worry spirals.
Roll up pianos are not very expensive. They're not excellent quality but they seem to be a good stand-in on a temporary basis for for a beginner.
https://www.loadrecords.com/best-roll-up-pianos/
Ok, I've been afraid to ask this question on FB but I'm going to here, lol. Why are people homeschooling their kids that attend public school? I have a 14 year old and yes, he is home now (until at least 4/15). I'm treating this time off kinda like summer break. He doesn't get homeschooled over summer break and he will have to make this time up at the end of the school year. He's not going to want to do virtual school and then turn around and go to regular school another month into June which he will be required to attend.
Am I missing something? lol. I understand maybe not wanting your kid to fall behind but everyone in their class is in the same boat. And if you do homeschool your child over summer, this shouldn't be anything new, correct?
Hi from the other Kris! I don't think you are missing anything. Each district is handling things differently and I would go with what your district is recommending. In our district, there are pockets of poverty and so not everyone has internet access. My son, who is a junior, has honors/AP classes so he does have some assignments that he is doing for that (he is also working toward his Eagle Scout so we are pushing him to get a lot accomplished on that). My daughter is 14 and an eight grader and is pretty self-motivated so she is keeping in contact with her teachers and staying up on assignments. While we are avoiding going out in public, I confess that she and I went to JoAnn fabrics this morning (early before there were many customers there) so she could stock up on sewing supplies. I feel like following patterns for a sewing project has a lot of educational value in and of itself.
All to say--you are doing fine with your expectations, mom! This is an unprecedented experience and we are all getting through the best we can.
Thank you! 🙂 I just saw on FB from my son's school that they are trying to get an online learning program set up. And I am fine with him doing that if it would keep him from having to extend the school year into the summer. If he would still have to go into the summer, then I say let him have this (hopefully!) short break and try to enjoy best he can. So far I am still working but I am lucky that I have a daughter that lives close by and she is in college so she's doing online for the rest of her semester. But she has offered to have her brother come over and she'll make sure he gets his assignments done if he does end up having to do online.
We are living in some strange times!
Get the kids involved in the housework. Preparing dinner is a math lesson with measuring recipe ingredients and a reading lesson.Laundry is a science lesson with types of fabrics, water temp, and detergent types.
Have ever read the research about summer break and parent involvement and success? I just finished a book, outliers by Maxwell gladwell, and he briefly touches on this. During school kids all test about the same, but over the summer break is where kids without support at home really fall behind. If you compound that every year during summer it builds up.
So I would guess that is why people are trying to stay on top of things. Really I would just focus on math and reading. I love science so I'd throw that in too, but if it isn't your thing, no problem. Read a little each day and play a board game that requires math and call it a day. Board games that requires math are our sneaky math several times a week!
Our school has started some distance learning-type work as well. Our older kids are day-by-day and younger kids have three weeks of maintenance worksheets. I think the goal for our school is to prevent extending the school year more than absolutely necessary.
All that said, my household would treat this like summer break, too, if there were not school things set up.
Yeah, I was operating under the assumption that schools are sending work home specifically so that they don't have to extend the school year so far into summer. Is your son's school not sending any work home?
Every district is different. I'm not too worried about it overall because we as a family are kinda geeky and much of what we do, even during the summer, has an educational component to it .... following recipes has a reading, comprehension, math and science aspect to it .... botany and weather science can be brought up during outdoors activities .... we all love to read so that's not an issue .... we have a puzzle going on our coffee table--math and spatial learning going on with that .... . I agree that families that don't provide any kind of stimulus, whether during the summer or during this odd time, will have their children experience a set-back, but for me personally, I have found that trying to find ways to make learning fun keeps my kids engaged in learning year-round.
No they aren’t (or not yet) but this morning did put out about online courses. I’m looking into that.
Our schools are not sending anything. We are "officially" closed until beggining of april,but we all know this will (likely) be for much longer. I am *hoping* that they send stuff to do if it's prolonged, I don't want my kids to get behind. But I'm NOT a teacher, so I don't feel equipped to "invent" stuff to do right now. So in the meantime, I make it mandatory that they read for at least 1 hour every day (got a bunch of books at a thrift store since the libraries are closed) and we play board games. They also have a daily schedule of exercice, time outside, arts, limited screen time, etc. (For me and them) it's REALLY important to keep it balanced. It's not just about schooling.
I am going to have my son read also. But I am not a teacher either, like when it comes to sit down and explain something that is out of my comfort zone, my brain just doesn't work that way. I understand it in my head but I can't verbalize it easily. And at this stage of his education, I would be afraid I'd be teaching him wrong when it comes to Math and Science. I could probably do English and History, which he and I both LOVE! So I will encourage him to do some work in some books I've bought him from a library sale. Maybe write me a report, lol. He'll be thrilled - not. I do have some projects at home he can work on and earn a little money so that's coming too!
Thanks for the encouragement everyone! Facebook is not usually so nice, lol.
I have heard a good half dozen reasons, and they all make sense to me.
1. Keep kids on a regular-ish schedule. Regularity is reassuring, especially for the younger crowd.
2. To teach what they are required to teach in a year.
3. To avoid extending school into the summer. If the public schools can even legally extend their year.
4. To help keep kids out of trouble. Many of the things kids do over the summer, are currently unavailable.
5. To fight "summer brain," which is when kids - especially underprivileged ones - fall behind.
6. Because parents expect it.
I am feeling super thankful... my teenage daughter's spring break ends Monday, and the school (even before they went on break 2 weeks ago) worked out a distance learning plan. They are loaning computers to kids who need one (amazingly, not many) and there will be class from 9 to 2:30 daily online via Google Meet. There is a 1 hour lunch break, and "office hours" from 2:30 to 3:30 for questions. My daughter decided to go to different rooms in our house for different classes (English is in her room, History is in the living room, etc.). She's actually looking forward to school "starting" this Tuesday. My husband and I will continue working from home. I am grateful to the teachers and administrators, and I am so happy that everyone is a salaried employee (no hourly) so everyone gets paid.
Kristen, I so agree that learning happens outside of formal schooling! For parents of teens, I would like to suggest:
*Get them outside if the weather is at all cooperative! We are fortunate to live in an area with lots of hiking trails and have been taking advantage of them--good for our physical AND mental health--and social distancing happens naturally!
*If you have multiple teens under one roof, find a fun way to separate them for awhile--my husband and I each took one teen for a separate hike last night and they got along much better once they had a break from each other
*Don't rely solely on screen time to keep them occupied. Go old-school--pull out a puzzle, board games, art projects, set up outdoor games if your weather allows, build a bonfire, read ...
*Yesterday I made sugar cookie dough. My teens cut out cookies and decorated them. We took a plate and left it on the doorstep for my niece's family (young kids with colds ... not covid!) and it brightened up everyone's day. Find a way to help your kids keep up other's spirits and their focus will shift away from themselves.
These are a few things that have worked for me--every family is different!
"Kids in early grades do not need 6 hours of instruction a day." This is so true! In traditional schooling, huge amounts of time are spent lining up, walking together to the bathroom, waiting for everyone to get finished and not just with the bathroom, handing out supplies, reviewing to the middle or weakest learners, giving instructions slowly, waiting for another class to get out of the gym, having a fire drill, etc. Adapt to and enjoy your own child/ren's schooling pace!
Yes. And this is no fault of the teachers; no one can possibly get things done with 30 children as fast as they can with just a few.
and actually that 'herd' element can actually be a real positive! We learn that people come in all varieties, we learn that we dont get what we want straight away, we learn that we need to sometimes wait for those who are slower than us.
For sure! Everything has upsides and downsides.
It's kind of like being an only child vs being in a family with multiple children. If you're an only child, you probably get lots more one on one time with parents. But if you have siblings, the upside is that you definitely learn that you have to wait for slower siblings, and that you have to wait for what you want because sometimes mom and dad are busy, and so on.
Bonus - you may find that kids with ADHD do better at home. If they are the daydreaming type - formerly called ADD - they often drift off during explanations as soon as they understand...then don't drift back until something grabs their attention, like a teacher asking a question directly to them! By that time they've missed more explanation and they are the ones who don't understand. (Ask me how I know this from the inside out!)
I'm a public school teacher. I have also taught in a small, private school. My education itself includes public school and homeschool so I feel like I have a decent experience in an education system except for unschooling (totally not my cup of tea!). I hope many parents can realize that during this time to just focus mainly on keeping your elementary kid involved in math and reading! Writing, Science, and Social Studies are so important, but I feel like this is a time for you to focus on the bare bones of education because you likely have job requirements at this time as well as household requirements. So, of course your child will get done with school in 1-3 hours if you just focus on these things. Also, remember when we have a classroom it takes time to do things which is why we have school for 7-8 hours. A bathroom break for the entire class can take 5-15 minutes. Recess, read aloud, lunch, and snack time take up almost 90 minutes! Your child could probably take a recess, read aloud, eat lunch and later a snack in around 45 minutes.
Lastly, please know we miss your child so much!
Also, please know that we really, really miss your kids and our job right now!
Love this! I'm a teacher too, and these are my thoughts exactly!
You teachers are treasures. <3
Another thing that takes time in school is that teachers have to go over concepts for students who need more explanation. And then there's the time teachers have to spend when kids are acting up or talking to each other instead of paying attention, etc. etc. I homeschooled my youngest son in grades 5,6 &7, and it was a big surprise how little time it actually took! And he wasn't missing out on anything - when he returned in grade 8 he did fine and even won some academic awards. But we were seriously done school by lunchtime most days!
Yep. It's like the difference between getting private, one-on-one dance lessons vs. a group class. In a group, you have to go at the pace of the slowest person.
But when you are a class of one, you can go slow when you need to, and fast when you are able.
Found another useful site: NYPL puts 300,000 books online for download.
https://www.timeout.com/newyork/news/you-can-now-download-over-300-000-books-from-the-nypl-for-free-031820
Thank you so much!! My husband and I are teleworking and schooling the children. These are amazing tips and validation that we are on the right track.
Just a message of encouragement. It’s going to be OK. Do what works. Go with your child’s passions or interest areas. Be kind to,yourself. Not only are you suddenly homeschooling but we are in the middle of a world crisis. All of life is learning! We all learn all day long. Pinterest has lots of great idea, youtube has great educational videos, there are books online to read. Don’t forget to have fun!
My kids' schools didn't have time to prepare anything official for them, so teachers are sending things piecemeal, but they're not required and don't count toward grades. My kids are in grades 6, 9 & 10.
I've instituted a loose schedule on weekdays. Everyone hast to get up, get dressed & brush teeth, just like normal, and I have set hours when the kitchen is "open" for meals (otherwise my 12 year old tends not to eat until 3pm & bedtime, and I'm not playing that game). They have to do something educational for an hour around 11am --- we all sit at the table together, and duolingo has really been a big help! In the afternoon, we have a big family chore (so far we've cleaned out the garage and washed the cars, to name 2 --- I expect my house to be very clean and well organized within the next month). Time to put away phones and bedtimes are at set times as well. Weekends will be more relaxed, as usual. So not a lot of "school" time, but something. And my kids are very big readers, anyway. I just think some sort of schedule and routine is helpful and reassuring for kids (and adults) of all ages, especially in a time of uncertainty! A doctor on the front lines that I know says we're looking at 8 - 12 weeks of this . . .
Research has shown that children reading aloud to dogs improves the children's reading ability. Seems that having a live, not-critical, one-on-one audience, makes them more confident.
(Not sure about cats; they probably declined to participate in the study....)
Cats only listen to books when they decide to. 😉
I've been homeschooling a long time, and some things that are always good reminders for me after summer break:
1. Add in subjects slowly. Start off with math and reading (especially for younger kids). Those are the most important. Then, add in something new each week as you and your kids adjust. But honestly if for 8-12 weeks "all" you manage is math and reading, your kids will be fine.
2. Attitude is not less important than academics. If everybody is stressed or cranky or just never listening, which happens here once in a while, sometimes we will take a week where school gets a backseat to attitude issues. We do a little screen detox (sometimes totally screen-free, sometimes just very, very firmly enforcing the normal limits), and we do read alouds, and I try to have a basic routine in place (like, read aloud in the morning, then kids play, then lunch, then some quiet reading time, then outside play, etc.), but the main focus is just on helping everybody get back to a place where I actually can teach because they actually are listening.
3. Playing audiobooks while your kids color or play quietly can be a really good way for them to do some learning while you can rest. If your library has Hoopla, they have a whole homeschool collection. Audible has started a free streaming site of children's books and classic literature. Put on a book after lunch or after dinner, hand out paper and crayons on the kids, and then chill on the couch while they listen.