It's my day of arrival

ByKristen
15 Comments

On this day, 48 years ago, I made my entrance into this world. 😉 So, I'm gonna do some navel-gazing. You've been alerted, ok??

When I made my first "About Me" page for this blog, I distinctly remember typing, "I am a 29-year-old (yikes!) mom of four" and the "yikes" was because I saw 30 coming down the pike so soon.

Kristen hugging toddler Sonia

Then I can remember turning 38 and thinking, "Oh my gracious, in two years I will be FORTY. That's so old."

kristen birthday
38

And now I am having that same feeling, except I am staring down fifty this time.

Kristen in a work tshirt.

Maybe this happens with every new decade?

(You guys can tell me!)

Kristen in black scrubs.

If forty seemed old to me, well, fifty seems so decidedly adult. I feel a little like, ummmmmm what? Me? I'm almost halfway to 100??

This seems like something that happens to other people, not to me. And yet, here we are.

I turned 40 in 2018, and I remember feeling full of hope that it was going to be a good decade.

Nadine West dress

Unfortunately, it started out pretty poorly, with a marital separation that summer, followed by a few very rocky years, and then a final separation in 2022.

The tears I cried in those four years could probably fill a small lake.

rainy windshield.

So, the first four years of my forties fell far short of my hopes.

But during the next four years of my forties, things have been so much better!

sunlight on a raindrop.

I moved to a new, non-split-foyer house.

I got divorced.

I got my first college degree.

Kristen jumping.

I started a new career that I love.

I bought my dream car.

civic.

My now-safe heart did lots of healing.

My smile became so much more real.

Kristen and Chiquita.
also we got Chiquita. Hehe.

So, my forties have been a 50/50 mix so far: four hard years followed by four happy, changeful years.

I have two more years left in my forties, and since I have exited the situation that was causing me so much pain, I truly do have high hopes for these years. 🙂

Here's to closing out my forties well!

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15 Comments

  1. Let's see, can I be the first (or at least among the first) to wish you a very happy birthday, and many more?

    And my 50s were actually pretty good. It's my 70s I'm struggling with now. 😛

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  3. Happy Birthday Kristen!
    Yes, every time I hit a decade, it made me think. The hardest one for me was hitting 50, because everyone I'd known that had cancer, had it in their 50s. Well, I'm in my 60s now, and still fairly healthy, and would be more if I'd make a few lifestyle changes.
    I'm liking this stage of life where I care less what other people think. I'm not liking this stage where my body won't work like it used to. So its a balance for sure.

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  6. Happy Birthday Kristen! I hope the rest of your forties and your fifties are everything you hope for and more!

    In terms of feeling like a 'real' adult, I always remember advice from Judy Blume I read as a kid (Judy Blume always gives such good advice!).

    When she was a kid, she thought she would feel like an adult when she turned sixteen. Then, it was graduating high school. Then it was going to college, then getting married and then having kids. She kept moving the goalposts until she was in her forties and figured out growing up is a continuous process.

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  9. Have a lovely birthday, Kristen! Very thankful for you and the wonderful community here! (Feeling thankful - and it's only Monday 🙂 )

    Reply

  10. Happy Birthday Kristen! I hope the next two years are as fantastic as your last four have been.

    I was not bothered until I hit 60 and then 65. Not really bothered but more a feeling of what the heck, how could this have happened. While I am healthy I still cannot get used to how much doctors want to find things that are wrong with you when you hit 60 and then they double down when you hit 65.

    Reply