I was chatting about this with Mr. FG last time we went out on a date and I concluded that I enjoy and appreciate pleasant things more when I don’t have them every day. But I wonder if everyone feels that way.
For instance, if I get an iced chai latte every once in a while, I think it’s the most delicious thing I’ve ever had. But if I drank one every day, I am positive that it would cease to bring me as much joy.
I was also thinking about this and how it relates to work and rest. I think that when work is punctuated with rest and vacation, the rest and vacation is significantly more lovely than it would be if your whole life was nothing but rest and vacation.
(Of course, that’s a more complicated scenario than I can delve into, because there are issues like the sense of meaning that work can provide in one’s life. But stay with me here!)
How does this relate to frugality?
Well, people sometimes scoff at frugal living because they think it’s a lifestyle of deprivation. But I kind of think that a degree of “deprivation” allows you to more fully appreciate things.
If I bought everything I wanted all the time, I doubt I would value purchases the way I do.
If I ate out as often as I wanted, I doubt it would bring me the joy it currently does.
If I bought lobster tails every day, they probably would start to not taste as good.
Robert Louis Stevenson said, “Even the greatest of delights without the least of restrictions will quickly cease to satisfy.”, and I’m thinkin’ I’m inclined to agree with him.
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I’m really curious what you all think, though. Do you find this to be true in your life, or do you think R.L.S. and I are off our rockers?
Jan Elizabeth
Sunday 11th of August 2013
This is such a good post! Even though I'm late to it, I want to throw in my two cents. There's a really great old children's story, I think it's called "Christmas Every Day". In it the girl's Christmas wish is that it would be Christmas every day. On Boxing Day, when it's Christmas again, she's thrilled, as are all the other children. Gradually, as time passes, they get sick of it -every day the piles of presents they have to open, the turkey dinners they have to eat, etc. By the time November comes, everyone just throws the piles of presents all over and they're all totally mad at her. Then on Christmas day...NO PRESENTS! They're super happy and thrilled. As a kid who wished for Christmas to be every day, I actually loved this story and I do completely believe that part of the nature of a "treat" is that it be somewhat infrequent, or it is no longer a treat but an every day occurrence.
Jenifer
Wednesday 26th of June 2013
Absolutely! I have a philosophy that I jokingly refer to as "rationing the fun". I have found that the kids I know who are constantly doing fun and big expensive things are often the least happy kids and the most likely to say they are bored all the time. my kids are super joyful and something as simple as a free bakery cookie makes their day. we do have fun but we also have a lot of downtime and they only get presents at holidays. By buying kids too much you are doing them no favors.
Tammy
Sunday 23rd of June 2013
Yes, I agree. As with anything, it is simply the novelty wearing off.
I tried reading The Tightwad Gazette and found her to be too extreme for me though every time I see someone raving about her book(s) I think of giving them another try so I may just have to do that one of these days.
Lorraine
Thursday 20th of June 2013
I also agree. Like Denise said, anticipation is half the fun of indulging in an infrequent treat. It really adds to the pleasure of having it.
When I was a kid, my family could rarely afford to go to a movie or eat dinner at a restaurant so when we did it was a monumental treat, greatly appreciated and enjoyed by all. In contrast, I remember once visiting some friends of friend of mine. Their family ate dinner out 5-6 times a week. While I was visiting, the subject of where to go to dinner came up and the children BEGGED to just stay home for once and eat whatever was in the house. That was an eye-opener for me, for whom eating out is still a treat!
Andrea
Thursday 20th of June 2013
Like many of the comments, I agree as well. I recently was reading a little parenting article about waiting. It was talking about all the benefits of teaching our children to wait. (I couldn't help but think of my own impatience too.) It was mentioned things like a period of waiting can be a productive time like when you are ready to go and waiting for others you can pick up the living room. But one of the comments was that waiting for something builds anticipation and enjoyment as we look forward to it. Such a different concept in our world and culture of instant gratification. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.