7 Questions to Help You Make Decluttering Decisions
I recently got this email from a reader:
I particularly have trouble with knowing what to do with our library of books and things like cleaning supplies, etc. I seem to always be of the "But what if I need it in the future?" or "Well, I might use this in the future." or "You know I'll need that as soon as I get rid of it." mindset.
-Vicki
This is an interesting question! When I got this email, my first thought was that I don't have a well-thought-out process for decluttering.
But as I pondered this, I realized I do have something of an unconscious process.
I often feel like I'm just going with my gut, but I do have a series of quick questions I ask myself, particularly if I'm feeling a little stuck on an item.
1. Would I be willing to pack this up and move it?
This question is useful whether or not you plan to move in the near future! I find that it really helps me figure out how much I value something.
Do I like this enough to take it with me to another house?
Do I find this thing to be so useful that I would take it with me?
Is this thing so valuable/unique that it would be tough to replace?
If the answer is no, then it might be good to get rid of it.
2. Could someone else use this?
If I come across something that is not useful or valuable to me but it would be useful or valuable to someone else, I'm prone to give it away.
This is especially true if it's something that might be useful to me once in a blue moon, but that same thing could be regularly useful to someone else.
For instance, if I keep a toy here, maybe a visiting kid could use it every now and then.
But if I give the toy to a house that has kids in it, the toy will get used regularly.
3. Will I REALLY use this, based on my history?
If it's an item that you have aspired to use for years but you still haven't gotten around to it, odds are good you still won't use it in the future.
Better to pass it on!
4. Could I make a plan to use this soon?
If you unearth something useful, is there a way to make sure you use it instead of just putting it back on the shelf or in the closet?
For instance, if you find a cleaning item you want to use, make sure you put it with the rest of your cleaning supplies.
If you found a shirt you really want to wear, put it in plain sight on your dresser.
If you found some golf clubs you want to use, schedule a date with a friend and put the clubs by the door.
If you found a crafting supply or project, can you see yourself making time to work on it in the next month?
If you found something you want to fix or repurpose, will you do it in the next month?
If you don't think you're going to make a concerted effort or a concrete plan to use something promptly, then get rid of it.
Putting things back in a closet with a "someday" plan is a recipe for clutter continuance!
5. Do I have something else that serves this purpose?
No need to keep specialty kitchen equipment if a multi-purpose kitchen item works just as well (could a knife work as well as that specialty chopper?)
And the same thought applies if you have many multiples of something. If you do laundry once a week, you do not need a month's worth of towels, socks, or underwear.
6. Could I borrow or rent this item instead of owning it?
Once-in-a-blue-moon items are fine to keep if you have lots of space. But if your space is limited, it can help to consider what you could borrow or rent.
For instance, if your library has copies of your books, you can feel freer to give away some of yours. You can always borrow the book if you feel inspired to reread it.
If you know that you could rent or borrow baby equipment for visiting small children, then you can give away your old pack 'n' play without worrying.
One last tip: most things can be replaced
Sometimes, we put too much pressure on ourselves to avoid the odd, "Nuts! I should have kept Item X!" situation.
(Which, let's be honest, is going to be the exception, not the rule.)
Unless you are in serious financial straits, or the item you gave away was extremely unique and expensive, it's not usually a big deal to replace whatever you gave away.
And if you are a person prone to clutter, you probably don't need to be particularly worried that you will accidentally give away too many things.
The more likely scenario is that you will keep too many things!
The 20/20 rule made all the difference in my mindset! Even when we were really struggling financially, I would ask myself “Can I replace this for less than $20 in less than 20 minutes?” If so, I let it go. We had 3 kids in 700sf so space was precious! I also consider ordering off amazing to be less than 20 minutes!
Wow! 3 kids in 700 sf is amazing. I'm moving to a 1 bedroom apt that has 550 sf & that's from a slightly larger apt & I live alone & thought that was a challenge. I like your perspective.
That's an interesting rule! I had not heard it before and like it as a clear-cut guideline.
A friend went on the "how many of this do I need in my lifetime" rule. This was for something like spare men's shirt buttons for her husband; I think she decided on maybe six. Very helpful for people who were raised to save every bit of string or rubber band, whose coffee cups multiply, or who have more possible craft projects than they can complete in a lifetime.
I also consider how long I have had the item and if I have not used it in X amount of time why do I keep it?
My basement got purged of the kids camping items. They are in their late 20's, they took what they would use, grandkids very unlikely to use them. We did keep campfire cooking items as those will be used. Cots and such no. What was left was donated.
Decluttering can be hard. For the most part, it is an ongoing process for me. When my children were young, I started to keep a laundry basket in the closet of the extra bedroom. This basket was and is a holding area for things that I plan on giving away. When it’s full, I go through the items a second time and make sure that I don’t need or want any of the things that I’ve put in it. Then I decide what to do with them. This process gives me time to “miss” an item. However, I rarely keep anything that ends up there and seldom have regrets.
A useful question I learned from someone is "has it had it's day?" This has helped me declutter clothing items that were once well worn and well loved, but are no longer being worn at all due to changes in style, taste, or just me being older. It helps me work out in my mind that as much as I may have enjoyed something in the past, now I am no longer using and enjoying it, so it's time to pass it along.
I also sometimes give myself a time frame for an item. For example, I recently decluttered my closet and am donating a lot of items, but I have one item that I think might be worth my while to sell on eBay. But I promised myself that if it's still here next spring, it will get donated.
I love this. I can see this working very well for me."Has it had its day", the answer would be yes in many cases for clothing items in my closet, even though I still love the item.
I think I also unconsciously use many of Kristen's ideas and yes, I DO need to declutter again. Something I am trying to be more mindful of is to use what I have instead of "saving" it for later. For instance, years ago my MIL gave me pot holders that she had quilted. Because she had put so much work into them, for a long time they lived in a bin under my bed. In that scenario, they were neither serving me on a practical level, nor was I enjoying them for any aesthetic value since I rarely pull that bin out. I bet I'm not alone in getting over the mental hump of using things that I have an emotional attachment to. I know that's not decluttering per se, but I think it goes into the decision-making process for me. BTW, the potholders really have worked well to be used as ... wait for it .... potholders. 🙂
I learned the lesson of saving nice things to use "later" pretty early on. When I was a kid I collected unique novelty pens and pencils. I remember, in particular, a glitter pencil with hearts on it and it had another heart dangling from a chain at the top. I thought it was so pretty, I didn't dare use it. In my late teens, I realized I didn't want to use glitter heart pencils and Garfield pens anymore and I got rid of them. I would have enjoyed them so much more if I had used them as a child.
Now, if I have something nice, or something I especially like, I use it right away. You never know when your tastes will change, or how much longer you have to enjoy the things you love.
This behaviour can be a response to trauma and it is something I’ve battled with for decades.
I’ve gotten better with crockery and glassware because I get more joy from using, than pain when it breaks.
One tip that I find very useful is if you or a family member are not sure about something, place it in a bin in your basement or garage. Then, set an alarm on your phone to check the bin in 6 months. If you haven't touched it in all that time, you should get rid of it at this point.
I declutter very easily but my husband really likes this bin method.
I do something similar in that I keep a box in my bedroom closet, and when I come across something I think I no longer need I put it in the box. If I haven't gone back for it within 3 months I donate it to Goodwill.
I also use a "one in, one out" rule. Once I decide how many of something I need/want, if I get one more, then one has to be donated.
Hi, Kristen, I especially like your first rule — I can see that it would really help in thinking about how valuable an object is to you.
What I tend to ask myself while decluttering is whether I would buy it today if I didn’t already have it. This works particularly well for me when I’m going through my closet and thinking, “Well, I guess I could wear it,” or, “Well, it doesn’t look awful.”
We own a great many books, part of which we inherited. The majority are great works of literature and we have read about 20-25% of them (I am a re-reader!) . I am now in my fifties and I've noticed that my 90 year grandmother cannot handle heavy books any longer.
Based on this my question is: will I (re-) read this book in the next 15 years? If so, it can stay. If not, it can go. Even great works of literature should have no home on my shelves when I do not like the subjects or style - just because my late family members did.
Note: I've been de cluttering for over ten years and only started on the books in year 8.
I have many times used the motto that Kristen has stated, which is that the right amount of stuff to have is the amount of stuff that get's used. I am not trying to be a minimalist, just "right sized" with a home and space that serve me. I have often used a "purgatory" bin for items that then get moved out, particularly the many kitchen gadgets that accumulate. I try to view getting rid of things as an opportunity to bless someone else with something while it is still usable (assuming it is, in fact, in usable shape). I have started saying no to gifts in favor of experiences and doing book swaps with friends and neighbors. The Naptime Kitchen blog is a great place for practical "reset" advice and how to make your home space work better for you. I also read the book "Secondhand" by Adam Minter and it was eye opening perspective on the problem of our "stuff".
I keep what I call the Thrift Shop Bin in my closet - sometimes it’s a Rubbermaid bin or a laundry basket or a cardboard box, depending on my space.
Having a pre-set place to put the donations means that as soon as I realize something isn’t working anymore, it already has a place to go wait. IE - I look at my son and realize his shirt is now too small, on laundry day, the clean shirt goes to the TSB. Someone gives me a thoughtful gift I just don’t need, TSB.
When the TSB is full, it gets bagged up and put in the back of my vehicle and the next time I’m out on errands, I drop it at the thrift shop.
Yes! I do this too. It's so helpful to just drop stuff in there when you come across it. I use a large plastic tote. And it serves as a bit of a "purgatory" so I know the item is still there, just in case I need it in the near future. I used to do this just for clothes, but now everything goes in there.
I was raised by people who had known poverty in the Depression and never had a lot of money in their lives, so they saved everything. My siblings and I share memories of such things as stopping alongside a road on a trip to visit relatives, and removing all the luggage so my dad could slide in a big square of metal (he knew how to weld) that he spotted lying in the ditch along the deserted road, then putting all the luggage back in the car. Especially when they became empty-nesters, they filled every closet, every drawer, under the beds, three small sheds... Their house and property were neat as a pin, but all storage space was packed full. They threw almost nothing away - for decades.
It took going through the remains of their house after their deaths that prompted me to get serious about de-cluttering at my own home. I have had numerous yard sales and made many donations over the years since then. I still can go back and find something I was sure I needed to save, but never needed it, so I periodically go back over areas I've already de-cluttered.
I usually check with family first on old or sentimental items. If it's been passed down through family, I feel like it's only fair, if I don't love it, to see if someone else does. I've had good luck getting some things out of the house, doing that. I mentally ask myself the questions Kristen asks, too, because sometimes it is so hard to be objective, and questioning myself helps with that. My biggest, most important question has to be, Will I REALLY ever use this? That's the one I struggle with the most, but most often, the answer is, "No."
The question I want to find the answer to is, how, when I'm not a big shopper and try to be strict about bringing in new stuff, do I continue to have extraneous stuff to go through?
Having to clean out my in-laws home seriously motivated me also. Although I am not a “keeper,” my husband is. My in-laws were children of the depression and saved everything. It took us 8 months to clear out their 1400 square foot home after they passed away. We worked every weekend without a break until it was done. Much of the contents of the garage which was absolutely packed was unusable because it was stored improperly. I will not do that to my children.
One of the key things I ask while decluttering: Could someone else be using this right now? If so, off it goes to a Salvation Army, Goodwill, etc. (We're referring only to household and clothing items in good shape. Clean, wearable as is.) This helps a lot as I believe it is not good to hold onto something you are not, and probably will not, use either now or in the future. I visualize someone else who needs this finding it.
I also take a moment to determine if what I want to toss is saleable on ebay or elsewhere. I do this because of what is going on with our local charity shops. The people who review the stock often take items for themselves and resell. Plus a lot of those staffers have locals who give them some cash and take the stuff to resell. To me, a huge part of donating to such shops is knowing that people with limited or no resources may be looking there for stuff they need.
I truly hate that stuff is purchased for resale when a local person could use for the much lower price they are sold at in these stores.
Yes, some things can be replaced. But at what cost? We tend to buy some items in bulk (nonperishable) and they do take up some storage space. To replace them at a local store, I would pay a premium of anywhere from 30% to 60% higher in price. So I hang on to these.
I think a question to ask would be: How much would it cost to replace these if I tossed them?
Also, there are some clothes items that I order more than once because I love them and know that they will NOT be there the next time I want them. Or most likely won't be unless we're talking basic underpants and socks!
Usefulness, now and down the road, is key criteria for us. We have learned, the hard way, when we over-decluttered a few years ago. We had several (not exactly cheap and NOT replaceable) items that because we did not use at the moment, we tossed. We ended up having to buy a few of those (that we could find) at a much higher price and not exactly the same.
I also ask myself about some sentimental items, mementoes: How would I feel if I tossed these?
It has been suggested that we take photos of some items of this nature and keep them. Doesn't work for me.
Another consideration: Your current and future income.
For those of us on fixed incomes (retirement, etc.), you really need to think twice about trashing still wearable clothes and/or cleaning items, etc. Unless you've got terrific house or apartment insurance, if anything happens (a neighbor's entire wardrobe in three closets was destroyed when her upstairs neighbor had a huge water leak. It was a very costly replacement issue for what she could even buy again. And her insurance had lapped due to financial issues.) you could find yourself in a tough place.l
We tend to "recycle" household items and have learned (again, the hard way by tossing or giving to charity) to think very carefully before jettisoning.
For people like me (in my 60's) I often ask the question of whether or not my son would want something I have been holding onto. If so, I give it to him now. An example is his baby bracelet, his first baby shoes, and his silver baby spoon. I gave the items to him and my daughter-in-law to hold onto as mementos.
Another good tip is that if your children are grown and moved out, don't let them use your home as a storage locker. My son had boxes of comic books and baseball cards that he collected as a teen that were stored at our house. We actually moved all of that stuff to two different houses after he moved out (he said that he didn't have space in his apartment). I finally gave him a deadline to either come take his items to his own house or I was going to donate them. He found room for them (he had also moved from an apartment to a house).
Yes to kids taking their stuff. My son was no problem but my daughter thought we should store all her stuff. And she has a house as big as ours. I had to insist in fact telling her if she did not get her stuff or let me bring it to her it was going to the thrift shop.
I honestly did not understand why she thought I should store it and not her.
The only things my adult children wanted from their childhood were their birth certificates and Social Security cards (and immunization records) They didn't want ANY of their toys and certainly NONE of their baby things (not even 'Baby's 1st Christmas' ornaments). I discovered that the things that we sentimental to me - were ONLY sentimental to me! That was a 'wake-up' call to declutter!
Thanks for the decluttering questions! I'm trying to declutter 33 years of married life. My daughter helped me this winter and slowly I'm trying to keep at it. Recently my son and I have been watching reruns of "Sell this House". The series is old and we are by no means planning to sell our place in need of staging, but it has helped me realize all the clutter I do have around.
If I am hesitant on an item. I just usually ask myself, did I use this in the past year. If not, it is donated.
If I get through all of those questions and am still waffling I ask myself if I want my loved ones to have to deal with it when I'm gone. I know it seems a bit morbid, but that's reality. Both my parents are gone now and after my mom passed two years ago there was still a lot of stuff from my dad and he died 13 years before she did! We gave away what we could, but quite a bit of it had sat around for so long untouched it ended up damaged beyond use by mice or mold. We made a lot of progress but had to stop due to the pandemic so there is still more to do. Not looking forward to it! It has pushed me to keep decluttering my own place and not to bring in anything new I truly don't need.
I love this topic.
The biggest thing I do to declutter, is not buy/obtain too many things to begin with. I try to think, before buying an item, "do I really need this?", "will this item make me happy?", "how many hours do I need to work to purchase this item?", "will this item lead to more cleaning/ironing/organizing?"
When I do declutter, I will try to awll items via Facebook Marketplace. If it's not worth it to sell, I will give away the items through Buy Nothing.
If it’s something I don’t use often, I have a rule of 20. Can I replace this in 20 minutes for less than $20? If so, I don’t hang on to it.
I'm struggling with this on another front. I entertain often for my family or for several of my favorite causes. I don't like plastic, so I have tons of dishes, glasses, servingware, linens, etc. Most of it has been obtained second hand, and it's all nice stuff, but I haven't used any of it in over a year. I'm itching to declutter, but I know I'll have need for it again. Come on pandemic, away with you!
We used to have more celebrations at our house when our boys were younger. Now that they are grown I have severely decluttered the kitchen. I figure if I do need anything like dishes/glasses/etc. I can "rent" them from the thrift store.
I've been decluttering for about 2 years now and I find the things I have the most problems with getting rid of are 1) books 2) memorabilia and 3) aspirational stuff (clothing that I might fit into LOL, craft supplies that I might use, etc)
in 2011 I had to clear out my house cause I needed roommates to be able to pay my bills. Turns out both my stepmother and my dad were hoarders. I threw away 15 big bags of garbage every week for at least a month (maybe one or two bags were *my* garbage, the rest was stuff that was broken, out of date, etc.
One of my major problems with getting rid of stuff is that my mother and grandmother threw my stuff away or destroyed it in fits of rage (also we rented out our house here in Bend when I was in the fifth grade, we moved to Hayward (CA) and left a lot behind, the 'good Christian lovely young couple" renters threw away, sold, or stole EVERYTHING that wasn't nailed down
Ugh, I needed this post about 3 1/2 weeks ago. I've been a long time reader yet never commented. I had major surgery back in February followed by infection which has kept me out of work on disability since then. Fortunately for ADA I return to work at the end of this month. However, and getting back on track, we faced a HIGHLY unexpected move during this out of nowhere -- from an apartment I've lived at for 24 years. Long story short -- I actually asked myself some of these questions you listed in the post but now I'm going to do my utmost best at not being such a "collector" of stuff. The term hoarder may apply but makes me cringe.
Oh man, there is NOTHING like moving to help you realize how many things you don't need!