A few thoughts on joy
December is a time of year that promises joy.
Joy from family, joy from traditions, joy from peace, joy from gifts.
And of course, joy from spending.
The problem with a lot of our sources of joy is that they are outside our control and so sometimes, they do not deliver.
But no matter how dark the circumstances, joy can often be found in reaching out to someone, in blessing someone else, in giving to someone.
And all of us, no matter our familial, financial, or health situation in life, can choose to bless someone else, even if it's something as small as smiling at a stranger.
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Without kindness, there can be no true joy.
-Thomas Carlyle
A true joy in life should be knowing that you have touched the heart of another human being.
-Steven Aitcheson
There is no true joy in a life lived closed up in the little shell of the self. When you take one step to reach out to people, when you meet with others and share their thoughts and sufferings, infinite compassion and wisdom well up within your heart. Your life is transformed.
-Daisaku Ikeda
I hope that you can find joy in blessing someone! If you do, I'd love it if you shared in the comments.
You know what brings me joy? Your Christmas cookie contest post. No pressure. 😉
Hang in there...we are decorating cookies tonight!
Me too! It's all about the eyes. 🙂
I find joy when working with my patients. I try to bring them hope, comfort, a listening ear, and a smile in difficult circumstances. The irony is that often they bring joy to me even though they are going through tough times.
This post makes me think you are a nurse and if you are I want you to know how much what you say matters. About six years ago I got so ill I literally could not get out of bed or on the toilet or shower without assistance. After a year of being bed ridden and over a dozen surgeries, with more to come, the insurance company approved (which tells you how bad off I was), a daily visit from a nurse. I was counting the days until I could find the strength to go to the gun safe and shoot myself. My husband's encouraging words fell on deaf ears by now but this nurse who came every week day kept telling me about people who survived what I had and that I could make it. She never lied, telling me I would never be as good as I had been, but that I still would have a life worth living. Honestly, she pulled me back from the edge of such despair, from waking up every morning mad as hell that I had not died during the night. By the time I stopped needing such constant care and she moved on to someone else, I could see my way to living again even with my impairments. So, thanks to you and all those nurses and OT and PT people who keep hope alive day after day after day, often with people who aren't even thankful at the time for your nagging encouragement.
Lindsey, on behalf of all helping professionals everywhere, I want to say thank you.
It is not often that helping professionals witness such eloquent portrayals of their potentially life-changing work.
Lindsey, wow. I don't know what to say. I'm glad you had someone in your corner who kept encouraging you. I'm not a nurse, I'm an occupational therapist. I work in a hospital (level 1 trauma center so we get some very challenging situations) and every time I work I am humbled. The challenges that so many people have to face day in and day out are hard to imagine. It's a constant reminder to me that I need to be grateful for all the things I take for granted. It's also a reality check as I'm just as human as the next person and can feel whiny about my own problems--but when I see people with REAL problems, my perspective changes. Thank you for telling me about your experience--I appreciate your vulnerability and it means a lot to know that I can make a positive difference in someone's life.
I loved being a home health nurse years ago. I felt that my (mostly elderly, full of perspective) patients often helped me more than I helped them. I'm glad you feel better! Thanks for saying this!
For several years we lived in a motorhome touring this great country. My current unusual way of blessing others is participating in a forum which helps other people figure out how they can do that. It brings me joy to know others are able to see our wonderful country's nature and history in person.
Hi,
I have not been receiving my email blog and sure miss it. Ave you dicontinuing the email posts? Thanks for everything!
I had a very chaotic upbringing and holidays were particularly BAD. I am now 48 years old and I do not let anyone steal my joy at the holidays. I try to focus on my nuclear family and not so much extended family. I also focus on joy in the small simple activities. It has taken awhile to get here but I am finding holiday JOY!
All the love to you! <3 I love that you have found a way to find joy.
I have SAD which rears its ugly head a lot at this time of year. It's often difficult to function but somehow I manage. I really have a lot of issues with the expectations to be happy and Christmas and kind of wish that I could make it smaller and less of a big deal.
I don't know if this will help but some years back a woman wrote a great book called, "Unplug the Christmas Machine." Can't recall her name, but it was a fantastic book for us Christmas overachievers.
Battra92 - I doubt I have any suggestions that you haven't heard already but I want you to know that I'm listening.
Oh, Battra. I am so sorry. Some members of my family struggle with SAD too, and the dark days this time of year are so hard to deal with.
I think it's completely ok to not feel overjoyed at Christmas time. Your feelings are your feelings, and I think there is space for you to feel different at Christmas than other people do. <3
I get a lot of joy from being accommodating and empathetic with my students. I teach at at high undergraduate population university with a large first-generation and minority student population. Most of my students would fall under the classification of underprepared. Some of my colleagues are unbearably resentful about the type of students that they teach.
I was extraordinarily blessed to be have some choices about academic jobs when I was searching. I made some deliberate choices about what kind of institution I wanted to affiliate with. I did not even apply for elite or research-heavy institutions because I knew I wanted to teach. I have never regretted my decision.
I LOVE being the person who can sit with a student and say "I am sorry that you are experiencing [abuse / insecurity / mental illness]. How can I help you?" I LOVE figuring out ways to help my students thrive. It makes me feel really good to help students learn to 'do college' or just give them a break.
Yes! What a beautiful service you provide. You will have a forever influence on your student's lives.
To get joy, I love to go to the Christmas Eve service on Christmas Eve night -- I always leave so uplifted and joyful. Our last hymn as we leave is always "Joy to the World," sung with real gusto and volume.
To give joy, I like to, well, give! My husband no longer goes outdoors to work in our yard, so I went through his many, many jackets (he used to get them free from salespeople at his old job), plus a warm pair of hardly-worn insulated coveralls and a heavy work coat, and today I'll be handing them over to a man who is collecting for a wonderful local outreach mission. I included some nice sweaters I was given and won't wear (not my style/color), for the females. We may be in Florida but we've seen 31 degrees here once already.
I also picked a donation tag from our Advent tree at church, this one to donate baby bedding to one of our local pregnancy centers. I love to find the nicest, cutest stuff I can find at the very best prices so I can get more of it to give. I smile the whole time I'm shopping for these kinds of gifts.
JD, that's my favorite way of spreading joy, too. 🙂 Today I dropped off cookies for a local charity hosting a holiday lunch/toy closet tomorrow for needy families. Tomorrow I'll drop off several bags of items to another charity for their holiday Christmas Gift program. Next week I'll drop off baby toys I'm buying for a Giving Tree program sponsored by my fitness center. In between, I'll ship out some care packages to soldiers. I guess you could say my passions are tracking down great deals and donating!
This is a great post! Giving to others is an awesome way to find joy. And it doesn't have to be a monetary gift. Think about this: giving your full attention to someone --really paying attention--costs you nothing but your time, and it is a rare commodity these days. (Put down those phones and listen!)
Also, I highly recommend the book Joyful by Ingrid Fetell Lee. It tells you how to find joy in many little ways every day. It's great, and you can get it from your library!
One of my true joys is to listen to peoples stories. Whether it is at work or the grocery store people start talking to me and I listen. It is an honor.
Also to all the nurses, OT, PT and home health aides your endurance and healing words of strength hold up the world.
My friend's church does a yearly angel tree for the children of imprisoned men and women. Since I only raised sons I always pick a girl from the tree and buy her some clothes. Another donor provides a toy. One of my favorite Christmas traditions.
Now you have me puzzling over the difference between "joy" and "happy." They aren't quite the same-- I don't use the words interchangeably -- but I haven't quite sorted out why.
I absolutely agree, and I've thought about this a lot. Joy is abiding; happiness is immediate. So, circumstances may mean minute-to-minute life may not have happiness, but overall, life can be filled with joy. (As a Christian, I consider this a spiritual gift and am very thankful that it is mine. But I think this gift is available to all people, Christian or not.)
Hi Kristen,
Not related but did you make a thankful list this year ?
No pressure but your list is always interesting and always brings me a smile 🙂
Anyway, thanks for the hard work you put into this blog, it's one of my favorites
Sorry you're under the weather! I think I have the same crud. Worse still, DH and I both got sick the day after Thanksgiving, but we had different symptoms and he's fully recovered while I'm still slogging. Happily, we're going to Palm Springs tomorrow, where it's warm (-ish) and we can get plenty of rest. Best of all, we're going to turn over one of our rentals, so we have a free place to stay and the trip is even tax deductible. I'm not even going to think about all the things I haven't done to get ready for Christmas. No decorations are up yet and now my brother and his family are coming for a surprise visit, beginning on Christmas Day. It's a nice surprise, but ohmygoodness, when am I going to get anything done?
(HeeHee, I have a sneaking feeling that the details may be different, but some of this may resonate with you. Just do the best you can is my motto for Christmas 2019.)
Like you, I am a piano teacher, and I find joy in working with parents and being flexible and casual, not putting pressure about performances, expectations and rules on them at this time. I try to share my enjoyment of their children with them, because I know how much it means to parents to hear those things. My Christmas party (Sunday) is an open house event over a few hours, which means they can drop in when they want and balance it with their other activities. It's casual and fun, without pressurized performances: students play if and when they want to. I think this lack of pressure is a balm to busy parents at this time of year, and a chance to breathe and notice their children without a list of must-do's and prohibitions ticking off in their heads.