Thankful Thursday | from the struggle bus
Oh, hey! Just sending this post from my seat on the struggle bus. I'm gonna get off the bus eventually, but right now, I'm buckled in. 😉
A song lyric (I think?) came to mind...something about "the storm before the calm", and I felt like that describes the week/month I'm having.
But sunnier days are ahead! And one can make thankful lists from the struggle bus. In fact, that's a very good place to do such a thing.
This week, I am thankful:
for a good exam grade
I still have A's, so I am not complaining at all, but it is interesting to see how my exam grades have been very very slowly falling over the semester. They go:
- 60/60
- 58/60
- 57/60
- 56/60
And I think it will be kind of funny if my final lands at 55/60.
that I got my shoes fixed promptly
I'm probably gonna need to wear them a few times this coming week, so I feel glad I opted to get them fixed. That was way faster than buying a new pair of shoes, and right now, time is of the essence!
for the ability to look ahead with hope
I remember putting this exact thing on a thankful list during the early-ish days of the pandemic; hope for the future is so helpful when your current spot is tough.
for good things in the midst of the hard
You know how I wrote a post titled, "Nothing is all good. And nothing is all bad."?
Well, I was thinking about that this week...yes, I'm on the struggle bus, but there also are things like:
- belly laughs with my classmates
- a "thank you" hug from my assisted living patient
- a fuzzy cat face greeting me in the morning
- the piney smell of a fresh Christmas tree in my living room
for a hot shower
You may remember that last winter, we were having hot water issues, and then my landlord installed a new water heater.
Well, as I was taking a shower yesterday, I was thinking how glad I am to have consistent hot water now! A cool shower is wonderful in July, but in December, I want some steamy water. 🙂
for my little roomie
When Zoe was born, I would never have imagined that she and I would one day be living a Gilmore Girls-ish life together, but here we are. And I'm glad to have her here with me. 🙂
for some unexpected upsides of a queen bed with only me in it
I washed three loads of laundry the other day. Yay me!
And I folded zero loads of laundry. Whoops.
Sooo, there was a big pile of clothes in my way when I wanted to go to bed.
But since the other half of my bed is empty, I just shoved all the clean laundry over to the side and hopped into bed. Problem solved! 😉
(I'd planned on getting a single bed when I moved here, but someone gave me a queen bed frame and then someone else gave me a queen mattress, and so that was that.)
The big bed is also handy if you have an occurrence of night sweats (as those of us approaching menopause sometimes do!)....you can just scoot over to the fresh, dry side of the bed for the rest of the night.
Of course, this only works if you don't also have a mountain of laundry over there.
Might be off topic but I have been wondering for a long time - why would super excellent grades be of such importance? Specially in already hard and difficult times? Isn' t very good not good enough? Does it have to be very, very best?
I mean as a patient I would never ask the nurse or doctor how there grades were at school or university.....
I would just be so grateful for their kindness and help and I would trust that they learned all they needed to in order to do a good job.
@Lea,
Hi Lea, I can understand the need for some control in an insecure time . Gradewise I've always been a bit insecure, meaning high grades make me feel safer. Unlike my former classmates who would calculate the lowest grades with which they could pass their class (and then go out in weekends in stead of study).
@Lea, My point-of-view: I know I'm capable of good grades, and if I don't get them, then I'm not doing my best. I like to do my best.
If I were to have a complicated medical situation, I would much rather have the very smartest doctor who put forth all the effort to remember every obscure thing. I would 100% prefer a thorough and exacting surgeon than one with an easy-going manner. I feel the same about a nurse. And a truck driver. And the person making my meal. And the person investing my money. And so on. It's a courtesy to our neighbor to do our best.
Also, there are some things in nursing school that do have very high standards for passing, such as our math tests, where anything less than an 18/20 warrants a removal from the program. I think they set things up this way because they WANT us to be thorough and exacting.
Well, in my schooling experience so far, I have found that every class seems to build on the previous ones. Anatomy and Physiology built on what I learned in biology, so I was really thankful I worked hard in biology. Same for microbiology.
Now nursing classes are building on those prerequisite classes, and I haven't regretted a moment of effort I put into my prereqs.
So, I guess I'm approaching nursing school that way too, assuming that my future classes will continue to build on what I'm learning now. I think this is especially true in first semester, where we are learning the fundamentals and foundations of nursing.
My approach is to try hard to understand the material (as opposed to blindly memorizing things), and so far, that's served me pretty well.
I have made peace with the reality that I will probably lose my 4.0 at some point during nursing school, and that's ok. I will continue to put forth my best effort, and whatever happens is what will happen.
@Lea,
When she is looking for a job after graduation, she will need the recommendations of her instructors/professors/supervisors. A diligent student is going to get a much better letter of recommendation than one who does just enough to get by. Furthermore, if Kristen ever wants to further her education, such as getting the credentials to be a nurse practitioner or obtaining her master's degree in nursing, she'll need high grades to get accepted to the next level of schooling. Perhaps the real reason, though, is that Kristen is not a slacker; instead, she pursues excellence in what she does -- and it wouldn't satisfy her to be a mediocre student.
That's true too; if I want to teach one day, I'll need a master's degree, and they are more picky about grades for those programs.
@Lea, My grandfather was a pharmacist. His father and grandfather were pharmacists in a time and place where that was the closest many got to a doctor, and when every pharmacist compounded almost every medication. He was also very smart, not very humble, and something of a perfectionist. In pharmacy school he got a 9/10 on a test. His teacher failed him. He demanded an explanation. The teacher replied:
Because you just killed your patient.
@WilliamB,
Excellent point.
As the old joke goes, what do you call the person who graduated last in their class at medical school?
"Doctor."
@Lea, what an odd question to ask….
I didn't mind! It's not the first time someone has asked me this (and I myself have also posed this question to my own self!)
@Rose,
Lol, exactly!
@Rose,
My friends who went to medical school used to joke, “C=MD!”
@Caitlie,
I don't think it's an odd question from the perspective of work
(or study)/life balance. I know plenty of people at work who have been overworked (sometimes for a considerable time which was bad for company and team as well as for themselves and their families). Most of them were forewarned by peers and leaders to respect their own boundaries, but they did not. It is one of the pitfalls of perfectionists, to let perfect become the enemy of good.
Fully with you on the hot showers. This time last year we had a leak that needed repairing. How easy it is to switch back to not thinking about something mundane like that at all, after you have been thinking about a lot, for a long time!
This week's Thankfuls:
-our weekly family dinners with the kid that is in dorms
-our senior cats (+10 yrs) that still invite us to play
-the joy of music: discovering new music and rediscovering old favorites (thanks A.Marie for Bells of Dublin!).
-that I am done with most Saint Nicholmas gifts and am now in the stage of rhyming and wrapping
-for still having old aunts and uncles to send Christmas cards to
-for feeling that I can cope with wrongs of the world today
@JNL, one of my thankfuls this week (I'll have more soon) is that my Bells of Dublin CD is *not* skipping; the problem is with my ancient CD player (which I already knew was on its last Christmas season). I can still listen to it on the new little boom box that was one of my final Amazon purchases.
@A. Marie, @JNL, listen to Cherish the Ladies Christmas CD if you can get it. Love Irish music at Christmas and they have some excellent songs/music. If you get a chance to see them live doing their Christmas show, it is excellent and well worth the money spent for a wonderful evening.
@A. Marie, have you abandoned Amazon?? How are you coping? I tried to quit, found another company which went wacko against my personal values, so I returned to the Big A. Any insight you can offer on this? I would love to learn from you.
@Maureen, I'm happy to say that I have the CtL Christmas CD and that I have seen CtL in concert, although not at a Christmas show. (I can well imagine that the Christmas show is fabulous.) Joanie Madden, like the late Paddy Moloney of the Chieftains, is a force of nature.
@Central Calif. Artist Jana, here's how it happened: Back in June, I dutifully reported DH's death to Chase Visa (the issuer of the Amazon Prime Visa card for which he was the primary cardholder, though I had second-user status), and Chase promptly cancelled the card on me.
After a brief period of sulking, I decided to ditch Amazon as well. I've always been a bit queasy about contributing to Jeff Bezos' already obscene wealth and to the poor treatment of workers at Amazon warehouses, and I decided that I'd just try to find work-arounds from now on. So far, I'm making it happen. It helps that I am not a TV watcher and don't really miss Amazon Prime Video, and that I'm trying not to acquire new things in general. (And I must say that I don't miss forking out whatever the current annual payment is for Amazon Prime, either.)
If there ever does come a time when I really need something I can't get any other way, I'll probably ask the Bestest Neighbors to order it on Amazon and reimburse them, just as I do now with the other neighbors who have a Costco membership. But so far, I haven't had to do so.
@A. Marie, well done, people think they can't live without Amazon.
Like you I am in the downsizing stage of life instead of acquiring. And if I do need something shipped I go directly to the company. AND if I can only find it on Amazon (once or twice a year) I have my son purchase it and reimburse him.
I feel I am staging my own personal crusade, glad to know I have company.
@karen, I have never paid for Amazon prime or shipping, but do have Amazon account & wish list. I have bern given (few) 30 days free prime membership & then cancelled before being charged fees. And mostly only ordered when free offers items can't find locally at stores. I never pay for watching tv/shows either, so many people do but I have enough free tv to do for me.
@A. Marie, it was reading Nomadland that made me ditch Amazon as much as possible. It's order there as a last resort now for me, although DH still has an account.
@A. Marie,
I am Amazon-free. It’s only been a problem one time. Almost anything sold on Amazon can be purchased directly from the company that is selling on this platform. By ordering directly, the small business may be able to keep a little bit more of its earnings.
@A. Marie, thank you for this thorough explanation. Amazon makes me feel a bit squirmy too. They are just too doggone big.
Living rurally, avoiding trips to town, hitting a major grocery store about every 6-7 weeks—that is what keeps sending me to Amazon for toiletries. However, I have actually found some great deals on eBay and try to check there first. I also choose Thriftbooks when I forget that I'm not going to buy any more books.
Your grades are great! And in general, on college exams I give, people do about the same as they average on the tests. So I expect you'll be on a good place for you last exam.
I'm with you on the struggle bus this week, but there are good things:
Colleagues who understand how I feel at the end of this rough semester.
That the power outages at work still allowed me to meet with one class, even if the other couldn't meet.
The other parents on my sons basketball team- they are trying hard, poor guys, and the parents are encouraging and not critical.
That I did not actually schedule my kids ' dental appointments on the same day as their eye exams- I just wrote it down incorrectly.
I had fun buying the gifts for the child were sponsoring through church. I went a little overboard, but I got everything and more , on the list. I want to add a little candy yet, and I'll throw in some art supplies I have extra from the back to school sales.
For my sister, who sends my kids and Advent box so they have a new little gift to open every day up to Christmas. She's the best.
I am with you on the hot shower. I enjoyed one soooo much this week. You know, when you talk about the struggle bus, it makes me think of the old yellow school buses that took us on band trips. Such long trips. And bumpy. And curvy-- because WV. Nothing comfortable about it. But they were usually lots of fun because of the friends who were with us. You've surrounded yourself with a supportive community. And we might not have a seat as bumpy as yours right now (and some of us might), but we're here. You'll soon reach the destination.
My other thankfuls:
*only one week until college boys comes home. I miss him so much!
*We are healthy right now.
*Yesterday we went to the hospital to visit a friend, but she wasn't there. The nurses couldn't tell us where she was (privacy, of course), but they were kind enough to tell us she hadn't died. (Can you tell I'm looking hard to find the happy in my friend's situation?)
*for supportive family. We had a houseful last weekend to celebrate our daughter's confirmation at church.
*for my daughter who, as I was readying myself for church, told me on that I was beautiful. She knows looking in the mirror is hard for me since my smile is still lop-sided, and especially since my therapy left me with a lot of ugly bruising (which I would have to explain several times that day). She is so kind to me.
*for coffee, delight in hot showers, for our outside cat, for prism rainbows on my kitchen cabinets at a certain time in the morning, for healthy food, that the leftover birthday cake is gone, for electricity, that my son is thankful I taught him grammar, for a beyond wonderful church family, that my father's new knee isn't troublesome.
@Jody S., OOOh! I love that analogy! Thank you for thinking of that and sharing it so eloquently!
@st,
I was going to say the same exact thing. Jody, it was well stated by you. Kristen, I am praying for you to have some things settled in your life that you can handle the rest with eloquence and grace. You're doing so well and we are all cheering you on. Stay strong!
I am thankful for a great yoga teacher. There have been many changes at the yoga studio I am a member of but there is a fantastic teacher that is still there teaching a class that I love. She teaches a great class and is also full of wisdom about how the body works and ways to take care of it.
I am thankful the flurries I saw yesterday did not stick. I'd love for it to be after the holidays before we have snow.
I am thankful for the abundance of food available these days, especially the food on the healthier side. I also love the sea salt caramels that call my name.
I am thankful for the time I'll spend with a friend today. I had to do some schedule rearranging to make it happen but it will be worth it.
I am thankful for this weekly exercise. I do think about it every day.
I am thankful to see some progress in the developing social skills of my students. This has been a really challenging class, but yesterday I had a moment where I could catch my paraeducator's attention and point out that every student was calm, engaged and regulated and that we needed to appreciate these moments before someone starts screaming. I really wish I was joking. I think I might suffer some hearing loss this year...
I'm thankful for brief glimmers of hope in the challenging family situation, and in a strange way, I am thankful that my class is so challenging because I have no time at work to ruminate on the family issue on account of the oft screaming kids. So that's something...
Finally, I am thankful for cat snuggles for me and my kids. Thinking it's too bad I can't bring a cat to my classroom...
One of my classmates is going through a lot of personal struggles and she said she has appreciated the way nursing school has kept her so busy. Kinda like your screaming class members. 😉
@Kristen,
Yes. It's helpful in some ways, but then when it's downtime when I would typically relax, the unprocessed trauma hits me like a brick wall. I'm sure you can relate. Maybe we can be seatmates on the struggle bus.
@Becca, Ooh! As a parent of young ones and someone who serves in children's ministry in multiple settings, I am excited for you on your first one! That's a big deal! Glad you were able to enjoy that moment.
Yes. Thankfulness is so important.
I'm thankful that we seem to be at the end of our sickness- a nasty cold
Thankful that my in laws are so helpful and kind. And close by!
Thankful that my (extremely part time) job is flexible, and my boss is understanding
For heat, hot water, a full fridge and pantry
For snuggles from my little ones
Congrats on those awesome grades!
Thankful after spending so much time on our Christmas lights they are all still working.
That some of my energy has returned.
That my oldest pup is still doing well. He will be 13 next month.
That we get an extended break at Christmas. I SO need a break from work.
For Facetime with the grands. Yesterday one proclaimed "grandma why are you not at my house?" Cracked me up.
For a little girl yesterday who was with her mom in the atrium at work, she may have been 2. She turned around looked at me and gave me a little wave and a smile totally made my day!!
Hang in there! You have almost ridden the struggle bus to your destination.
I often think about the article you wrote about good and bad. It was filled with much wisdom.
Today I am thankful that
• I made a great pot of coffee this morning. I made it as I always do with the same pot and same bean, but it tastes especially good.
• I am thankful for the chill in the air and my warm bed.
• I am thankful that my club’s Christmas party which turn into a baby shower went well. I was the hostess. There was only one glitch. The cake said, “Congritulations.” However, it was an especially good cake from what I understand.
Have a great week everyone. May your blessings abound.
@Bee, I love the "Congritulations" cake. In fact, I wonder what a cake made with grits would be like. (I'm not only a no-sugar-in-the-cornbread expatriate Southerner, but a grits fan.)
@A. Marie, BFF was scathing about sugar in the cornbread. "It's sweet as cake," she'd exclaim. Finally I said, "I'm just a dumb Yankee, OK? I also put Yankee nuts [walnuts] in cookies!"
@Rose,
My hubby has a super duper BIG sweet tooth, and has no complaints about my sugar-containing cornbread/corn cake (recipe is from a Betty Crocker cookbook). I'm 100% Yankee, too. His parents came from Appalachian Kentucky, but I don't think I ever had cornbread prepared by my mother in law.
I'm sorry you have to wear your high heeled shoes so much lately, but also hopeful with you that better times are ahead.
Thankfuls:
--For the benefits of having bigger kids. I'm encountering lots of the challenges that come along with teenagers and older kids, but I was thinking last night in my son's First Communion class how nice it is that I didn't have any little kids with me. All the other parents do have to bring younger siblings and entertain them for the hour of class, but I can just sit up front and listen and learn too. It's nice.
--For the staff (and my co-workers) at school, who are all nice and fun (in varying degrees 🙂 and care a lot about all the kids at our school.
--For days of calm in the joyous storm that is December. So many family birthdays and other events this month, which makes me appreciate all the more the days when I don't have to set my alarm, get in the car, or do my hair. If my hair is pulled back in a messy bun and my stained old running shoes are on, it means I'm going nowhere, and that's a happy feeling.
--For our abandoned village, which makes the perfect place to run. There's still a network of streets in the interior of it, so I can always be within yelling distance of my house and run laps without having to be on the main road--not busy by most standards, but I usually encounter a truck if I'm on it for more than a few minutes. This means I can take the dogs with me.
--For my husband, who started the dishes last night without my asking when it was clear I was not up for it. I usually prefer to take care of my kitchen myself, but last night I was happy to have someone else do it.
@kristin @ going country,
Agree about big kids! Last night, to go to far away basketball game, I could leave the teen in charge of the smaller ones with out worries. I do not have to bring everyone to the dentist for one kid's visit (no swarm of kids to control in the waiting room). I miss the baby and toddler days a lot, but the logistics of life are so much easier now.
Gosh it feels really hard right now to see up to the front of the bus from where I am sitting, but here goes:
*thankful for a day off to go grocery shop in person with my huge jar of coins for the Coinstar machine and a $25 HEB card that I won for filling out a survey. Thats at least $55 worth of credit towards stocking up my pantry.
*thankful I haven't gotten sick yet with all of the respiratory illnesses floating around our ER lately. I've got some allergy related sinus drainage which resolves about an hour after I wake up. And thankful I didn't get called in last night because I slept like a rock!
*always thankful for my calm and comfortable home, and for the car that gets me to work and errands safely. Yesterday I cleaned two months worth of crushed acorns off of the driveway and treated for fireants that were living in the cracks. No more tracking all of the debris into my home or car.
***
Three is pretty good - I will focus on those today when I feel a little like the bus will never stop and let me get off (:
@Gina from The Cannary Family, sometimes it feels like "Hotel California" - you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave. Feels like I've been on this bus more than I've been off.
Very thankful the repairman replaced the melted and burned wires inside my range.
Thinking of you, Kristen, as you walk through this difficult time )or drive through, on the bus ☺️)
This past week, the struggle bus has finally been slowing down. How I made it to work last week with Covid (I work from home so no issues infecting anyone!) is amazing. It's all a blur and the fog is starting to rise. I actually went out last night to get my nails done! (mask and all!) Thankful that I am finally making it thru this course of illness.
Thankful to have someone here to cook and keep the home fires burning. And I was sick on our anniversary, so we shall celebrate this weekend when we meet some friends to honor another friend.
Thankful that my sister is getting excited for my visit at Christmas. I'll be sad to leave the hubs at home, but he thought he should stay and work and that I should visit my sister. Travel is much harder for her. And I'm glad I am sick now and not in January when I have another trip planned. I will mask at the airport!
Thankful for a great team at work. I started working with them in May of this year, and the teamwork that they all display is amazing. They would rather help people with questions, than skip it. I am so grateful and thankful for their teachings.
And thankful for Kristen's blog. So many things resonate with me today on the struggle bus - especially the night sweats. Gosh, when are they going to stop!!!!!!
@Maureen, stupid personal power surges began around age 50 for me and still going at age 64. . . I echo your sentiment about when they will cease.
First, love to Kristen and everyone else who's riding the struggle bus this holiday season. (Oddly enough, I feel that so far I'm having a somewhat easier time this Christmas than last, when DH was still in the nursing home and completely unaware of the holidays and of almost everything else. "Get Me Through December" by Natalie MacMaster as sung by Allison Krauss was my theme song last year.)
Now, my thankfuls:
Thankful as always for overall good health, given my age. I haven't had so much as a case of the sniffles in 3 years, and I'm trying to keep it that way. (I've already had this year's flu shot and COVID booster, and I'm going to try to get an RSV shot at my Wegmans pharmacy tomorrow.)
Thankful again for the great improvement in my eyesight after the cataract surgeries. I think I should be able to drive to Saturday's JASNA meeting if the weather cooperates, and I'll be getting a final checkup and Rx for new glasses (to correct astigmatisms and help with close vision) next Tuesday.
And deeply thankful for my only brother's latest medical report. I haven't talked much about this, but he completed a brutal round of treatment for his third bout of cancer late this summer, and his most recent tests and scans show no new metastases and no recurrences at old sites. And he's finally also retiring from his job. So we're all hoping that he gets to enjoy somewhat more time in retirement than we thought possible earlier.
@A. Marie,
Here's hoping your brother stays well for a long, long time!
@A. Marie,
What excellent news about your brother! I hope he has many years to enjoy his retirement.
I'm so sorry about the struggle bus, Kristen. I hope you arrive at your destination--Unmarried Land--soon and with a minimum of pain and having to wear nice shoes.
This week I am grateful for:
Having figured so many things out. Being indecisive stresses me out.
My housemates, aka my children and my pets. They make life interesting at the very least. That my son doesn't mind so much if he insists, masculinely, to listen to talk radio in the car which I can't stand and I yell back now and then at Bloomberg News.
Warmth. Still!
A reliable car, so I can head out for the day without worrying in the least.
Mom's favorite aide, who printed and framed a nice picture of Mom for each of her children and wrapped them for us.
"Having figured so many things out. Being indecisive stresses me out."
Well, so much for that. I thought I had a perfect solution for Mom and now I find it's not going to work and I feel like crying in frustration. I'm back to my same old complaint from Mother's Day--when is it my turn not to take care of everyone else? When does someone say, you're tired and sick, you relax, I'll handle it? It's hard to be the competent one, with bonus oversensitivity.
@Rose, "when is it my turn not to take care of everyone else? It’s hard to be the competent one, "
Dear ghu yes, this. I had my annual physical yesterday[1] and I nearly cried when my doc asked not only about caregiver fatigue but also about compassion fatigue.
[1] Part of it, virtually.
@WilliamB, and @Rose,
I can empathize. I spent most of 2019 helping take care of my terminally ill mother in law (who was more like a mom to me), plus juggling my full time job + home + family. The lack of compassion and acknowledgement of my caregiver fatigue was astonishing.....and saying "find time to take care of yourself" (what one doctor told me, when I burst into tears), is of NO help. Hoping you both get the respite you need.
@Rose, my sisters and I finally figured out that no matter what, our mom will be dissatisfied with her situation. If we can let go of the weird compulsion to make her happy, we can just accept that she is taken care of and not try to solve all of her "problems".
Your situation might be much different, but just in case this helps, here it is. I'm so sorry you have to keep dealing with all of this.
@Liz B., the "Find time to take care of yourself" platitude usually reduced me to a snarling, growling mess--along with "Hey, he doesn't look that bad" (frequently and unhelpfully offered by folks who didn't see DH that often). Both are easy enough to say for people who haven't walked the walk. Solidarity forever to you, WilliamB, Rose, Central CA Artist Jana, and everyone else who's a caregiver here.
@A. Marie, "Find time to take care of yourself" is a form of victim blaming. Treat it as such.
@WilliamB, yes, to all of this. When communicating with my middle aged son over cutting off all support I actually said, for the first time in my life, " I'm 75, when is it my turn?"
1. sleep! I’ve slept three nights in a row and I could sleep all week, but I’m thankful that flashbacks and nightmares have taken a vacation for a few days. Hopefully this means the power of those memories is weakening.
2. A mild winter. I love that I haven’t had snowblow or spend massive amounts on heating the house
3. Beautiful memories with my kids. We’ve had a fun time together and it’s going to keep getting better.
4. My braces journey (Book 2) is coming to a close soon!
5. Beautiful sunrises I see on my way to work.
YAY for some sleep!!! That makes a world of difference.
Thank you for reminding me that so many people are on the struggle bus and yet thankful. I have hit an emotional wall after moving, working hard on our new home and facing the holidays far from the best friends I had since high school. I do know that these are small struggles compared to many others are facing and that I have faced in the past and focusing on thankfulness helps a lot.
@Juhli, Moving is hard! Physically, emotionally, every which way.
@Juhli, Moving can be very hard. Struggle is not a contest and the fact that someone, somewhere has it "worse" doesn't make yours any less real. Every single trauma therapist will tell you that they've never had a survivor who hasn't said that they know others have had it worse.
@WilliamB, wise words!
This week I'm thankful that even though my two boys are getting older they still give me hugs and say I love you without embarrassment. And this doesn't matter who they are around. And at 10 & 13 I think that says a lot. It made me think of my childhood growing up and at those ages I did not have a stable/loving household. It was very chaotic, so this makes me feel very happy that they feel safe and loved.
Truth be told I too am guilty of shoving laundry over to one side of bed & crawling in to go to sleep. 😉
Even if you do get 55/60 on final exam you still did well in class. 🙂 My teen just took last final exam (in college only) & he was on same slow test score creep also but still ok. Now few weeks high school (& not tests) until holiday break.
Thankful for ---
● that teen did really well in dual enrollment (high school & college) even with some tough college classes (Biology & Science).
● that my bills will be paid for month (next week) except credit card not paid off.
● that my Christmas shopping is (really) done & I don't plan to buy anything else (for gifts) unless the Peanuts Swell drink bottle I have on my saved list gives (cheaper) offer, then will purchase to go with my vintage wooden Snoopy pull along dog (childhood toy) in my display cabinet.
● that local store has homemade ornaments & making specific one for teen for Christmas that need to pick up next week (wasn'tfinished yet).
● that some money I had in an (hold) account I was able to get released to help pay some bills (truck repair emergency in October put on credit cards) BUT have problem that bank did not put $$ into my account where wanted & made choice to put where (employee I had not talked to) wanted $$ to go & NOBODY ASKED OR NOTIFIED ME ABOUT THE SITUATION. I only found out when I was online looking at my account & noticed (that) account closed & $$ not where I asked to put it or anywhere in my account. So I went to bank to ask questions about this & found out employee made decision to put where they thought should go without my knowledge or permission from my (now closed) account. I will be talking to branch manager ASAP--employee said has right to make decisions to take my $$ & put where thinks needs to go without consulting me, which I have problem with. (Struggle bus when can I get off?)
● for the sunshine occasionally to brighten my day.
● my Aloe Vera plant I bought at teen school FFA plant sale in spring. I paid $20 for very large Aloe Vera plant & my aunt sent a very large ceramic pot to me when my dad came in August for vacation to see us. I put the plant in large pot & put on metal plant stand that has slates for air to flow through on plant shelf. I put plant stand over heat vent in front of west facing window hoping for best (I fail at growing inside plants but do well growing outside). The Aloe Vera plant has given me 5-6 baby sprout plants that have been taken out & transplanted to other pots. 2 weeks ago noticed that stem growing in middle of plant & now has beginning of (possible) flower. Teen googled & asked Botany teacher about this. Apparently Aloe Vera plants can flower but very rare when grown inside. In last 4 days stem & bud have grown another 4" & getting wider & now above main plant. Looking forward to see what becomes (if doesn't break off) of this stem in Aloe Vera plant.
Kristen, I read your blog for frugal inspiration, but sometimes I think I really read it for how inspiring you are. In difficult circumstances you are moving forward and building a great life, one that is helping and will help so many people! There are a lot of ways to handle adversity and I very much admire and am inspired by the way you handle it.
I am grateful -
- for this blog and community
-my husband received some good test results on his bloodwork
-my two oldest kids (19 and 18) are adjusting to college
-my mom is still with us
-the nice people we work with
-having a home and food and friends
Have a great day everyone.
Aww, that is a very kind compliment. Thank you!
There's so much stress and sorrow in the world now. Finding thanksgivings is such a good practice for me.
1. My brother-in-law had a hospitalization last month and is now doing in-patient PT and OT in a rehab facility. I'm thankful my sister found out the grogginess and lack of response he was experiencing in the rehab was due to the blood pressure medication the facility's doctor had put him on, which she hadn't known at the time. We were afraid it was a sudden decline in his Parkinson's. He normally has low blood pressure but it went up temporarily (to a level that used to be considered normal) when he entered the facility. The doctor over the facility ordered BP medication, and it was too much for my BIL. She was able to convince them to remove the BP medication and he is acting more like himself. His BP is now staying in the normal range without the medicine, as usual. I swear they lower the range for "safe" blood pressure every few years. They'll have us all on BP medication before they are done.
2. I'm thankful for warm flannel sheets and cozy sleep socks. There was heavy frost on the ground and ice on my car this morning.
3. I'm thankful that my internet provider promptly sent someone out to fix my internet yesterday. It was working when I got home last night, and I hope it continues to do so. It had been randomly going off and on.
4. I'm thankful for things grandkids say and do that brighten my day. One of my young granddaughters informed her parents that when she got married, she was going to force ("force" was her word) her husband to use her last name. And if she doesn't like his hair, she will make him cut his hair, especially if he has a mullet.
Knowing her, I wouldn't doubt that she will do it.
5. I'm thankful for so many things, and for this chance to count my blessings. My TV just died, my old heavy duty vacuum just died, my water heater's heat pump developed an issue and the whole unit must be replaced (under warranty, but I pay labor), my internet was out, my ice maker isn't working, my newer shed started a leak and I still have the older shed that was ruined by the hurricane to empty and pull down.
But I was able to switch my water heater to regular element-only heat for now, my car runs, I can make ice in trays, I have a light duty vacuum for the small amount of upstairs flooring which I can use temporarily downstairs, my home heat works, my husband is in a safe place, my kids and grandkids are healthy, I can live without the TV for a while, I have a good job and two sweet dogs wagging their tails at me when I get home.
@JD, you've got an overloaded plate at the moment, and I'm thankful that you can still find thankfuls.
I'm also very glad that your sister figured out what was going on with your BIL in your #1 (and I agree with you about the overprescription of BP meds).
And I wish I could meet the granddaughter you describe in your #4. She sounds like a live wire!
@A. Marie,
"Live wire" certainly describes that one!
I’m thankful for my new therapist. In previous situations, therapy has seemed more like a standard doctor’s appointment. Now, it’s seems much more comfortable and personal, like a friend … but one with formal training and a degree!
Yes, to being thankful for hot showers. Such a luxury, really.
This week I'm thankful for the fourth-grade teacher who taught me to knit. I'm spending my evenings knitting Christmas gifts and listening to audio books and I enjoy it so much.
I'm also thankful for my mom teaching me to sew, because that's been bringing me a lot of joy lately, also.
For our two dogs, who are goofy and cuddly and make me smile every day.
For my good health, and for my new doctor, who I like better than the last three doctors I've struggled to communicate with.
*Thankful for the enormous flocks of Canada geese flying over the house. Very tidy and elegant formations. Like synchronized swimmers. But very loud. And right after them, enormous flocks of crows and their very raucous free form aerial acrobatics. Also very loud. I love this time of year. The middle Rio Grande riparian corridor serves as a migratory path. I’ve seen a lot of sandhill cranes. Very elegant from a distance. Very prehistoric up close. Clearly dinosaur ancestors. Long, long, long ago. Not bothering to take pictures. Don’t need pictures to remember this.
*Thankful my primary care provider stepped up to the plate when my specialists got caught in the ransomware attack against Ardent Health Services, which had to take its entire patient software network (for 30 hospitals in 6 states) offline, canceling all appointments, diverting ER patients to other hospitals, suspending access to the software used to document patient care. They couldn’t even issue/renew prescriptions, so my PCP took over that responsibility. But still can’t get appointments rescheduled. Save me a seat on the struggle bus.
*Thankful I always download my own patient records as soon as they’re posted and also print out hard copies, so at least I have that. Belt and suspenders, people. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.
*Thankful for my nieces whom I didn’t get to see a lot when they were children due to geographical distance, but am really enjoying as adults now that we’re in the same place.
*Thankful for my frisbee loving dog who keeps me moving. And laughing.
I am also on the struggle bus, and it is difficult to find things to be thankful for.
I am thankful that I have a good car to drive after totaling my reliable Chevy, and that I was able to buy a car on my limited income. Still haven't gotten the refinance deal, but we're still working on that.
I'm thankful I'm employed, even though it's 2 PT jobs and, adjusted for inflation, paying less than what I made when I was 23 y.o. A lot of people my age can't get any job at all, and so many of us are holding jobs that used to be filled by teenagers.
I'm thankful I received some bills in time for me not to bounce any checks. Will be hard to figure out how to pay for everything, but somehow I will manage.
I'm thankful I got a whole LOT of extra hours scheduled for me at the drug store. I am happy to earn more money, and pray I don't get too tired.
I'm thankful I have enough Christmas gifts already bought so I don't have to spend anything else.
I'm thankful my dog is still with me (she has cancer), and that my roommate has moved on.
I'm thankful for this online community where we can share each other's burdens....and victories, as well. Hugs to you all!
Kristen, I'm a long time reader, and you've inspired me with your positive attitude, and now you do the same with your resilience (though I wish you never had to endure the latter, xx). Reminding myself that things will get worse before it get better is helpful.
I'm here for you and I believe you'll continue to do great!
I'm grateful for apricity and petrichor ;).
This past week has been a struggle for me. Yesterday I just could not stop being angry and I didn't even know what I was angry about.
I am thankful that I got my tree up. We have not been in a caring mood about Christmas at all but we have the tree up now and it looks nice. It most likely will be the last year for this tree. It was on clearance at Kmart some 12 years ago and it's been with us ever since.
Thankful that the weather hasn't been too bad so far. It's cold but no 2ft of snow.
Trying to focus on family more. After all, no one from HR will hold your hand in hospice.
@Battra92, Were you aware that anger and irritability can be a sign of clinical depression? For me, taking an antidepressant has helped noticeably with my irritability, makes a big different for me and the people around me.
Especially in men they're signs of depression. Well me too, but then I'm always an outlier.
@WilliamB,
Yes, but anger is also a (valid) part of the grieving process. Just like I tell my students, it's ok to feel angry because all feelings are ok. You just have to make sure you are making good choices about your behavior even when you are angry (like in their case, maybe punch the playdough instead of the kid next to you...)
My first thought is - of course you deserve a queen bed! I'm glad that someone gave you the frame and the mattress. At the end of a busy day there is nothing better than relaxing in big comfy bed. I'm so happy you have that.
This week I have so much to be thankful for but it is all coming with a healthy dose of being overwhelmed. After over a year of searching we have finally found THE house and we are currently in negotiations on the terms of the sale. My husband and I are taking different approaches to this and our personalities are really showing on how we view some of the “sticking points.” I am thankful that he doesn’t think with his heart as much as I do, but I appreciate that he listens when I tell him what is important to me.
Our house is going on the market tomorrow! Thankfully when our realtor walked through he let me know that the only things we would need to do to get the house ready was depersonalize a few items and take the dogs with me when there are showing. I will still be going on a cleaning spree. Fingers crossed it sells fast so I can put a tree up.
My son is excited about the move. We’ll be in the same school district so his only change is the bus. He immediately hopped on board and started decluttering his room on his own. He did and amazing job.
My husband and I just returned from a much-needed vacation. The timing wasn’t perfect, but the trip was booked before we put the offer on the house. We spent a lovely five days together reconnecting. This was the calm before our storm.
My cough that I have had since October is still lingering but I was finally able to get in to see my doctor and she gave me some medications that have helped calm things down. She also let me know she’s seen this cough in other patients which made me feel less alone. I’m still very frustrated, but feeling hopeful that I may be cough-free soon.
@Geneva, Good luck with your house! I hope everything goes well, smoothly, and quickly.
Rodney Atkins - If You're Going Through Hell......listen to it! A little old but maybe relevant? Keep going!!!
Kristen, you are standing tall and looking fabulous in your lovely dress shoes that you so prudently had repaired. (((Hugs)))
This week I am thankful that over the weekend space was made in my little filing cabinet for all the files generated by my late brother's estate that I am responsible for. Not seeing them on the desk in my bedroom has greatly helped my anxiety about what a mess his post-death life was left in. Also thankful as always for my sweet family, our tribe of rescued critters, a peaceful neighborhood, and that rain finally came after three months with barely a drizzle.
@Ruby, I can well imagine that "out of sight, out of mind" is helping with those files.
And although the drought in your city is hard for me to imagine (having grown up there, I can recall days with rain without end!), I have read about it via the local online news source with no paywall. The report of dead fish up on the banks near my former high school caught my attention in particular. (Granted, I thought at the time that the place stunk, and I couldn't graduate and get out of there fast enough, but literal dead fish...?)
@A. Marie, there was an awful drought going on when we moved here in 2012, but this was the first bad year since then. There are critically endangered species of small fish in the creeks that were dying out due to the three months without rain. As this is part of the Appalachian rainforest, that long dry spell was very disturbing. I put out a big pasta bowl of fresh water twice a day for the birds and little wild critters coming to our backyard. It was great fun to see four tiny sparrows bobbing around in it at the same time like a quartet of fellows at a Japanese hot spring. 😀
@Ruby, Appalachian rainforest? This is the first time I've heard that phrase. Tell us more, please.
@WilliamB, Yep, there is a zone of rainforest in the Appalachians. Wikipedia explains it pretty well: "The Appalachian temperate rainforest is located in the southern Appalachian Mountains of the eastern United States. About 351,500 square kilometers (135,000 square miles) of forest land is spread across eastern Kentucky, southwestern Virginia, western North Carolina, northwestern South Carolina, northern Georgia, northern Alabama, and eastern Tennessee."
We had an extreme drought for three months in the late summer and fall this year, when usually autumn brings a months-long rainy season that rivals Portland weather.
I am thankful for: my Mom(she is 90 and still up and going even after a broken ankle and bad back).
A warm house that has indoor plumbing and running water that includes hot water.
A reliable truck.
Good friends.
Food in the pantry, fridge and freezer.
Being able to laugh even when I am in tears.
And good seat belts on the struggle bus.
Thankful for health in a busy season, for kitten craziness, for my coworkers who made me laugh yesterday, for a night with girlfriends, and for alllllll the seasonal activities, even though I sometimes feel overwhelmed.
Some thankfuls, as daily life has its ongoing struggles and little blessings:
Friends who spent a hard day’s labor with me cleaning up and maintaining things at our church
Husband almost over the bug that flattened me for 2 weeks
Mom is in my older sister’s capable hands; my responsibility now is to listen to my sister’s woes rather than trying to solve all Mom’s unsolvable problems.
Books borrowed from friends and the library, for learning and for escape.
This blog, with its camaraderie, wisdom, shared woes, and understanding. (Kristen, you are The Best Blogger I've ever followed!)
So sorry to see so many on the struggle bus, but so thankful there is camaraderie here. Kristen, the VERY good grades show a lot about your integrity. And I am glad you mentioned teaching, because I'd been thinking that may be your eventual direction because of your knowledge, work ethic and empathy. To impart that to others in such a demanding field would be a blessing. But of course, first things first, and one step at a time...
Thankful "Merry Thanksmas" Dinner went off w/o a hitch with immediate family. (Well, the boiling over of the sugar pie in the oven was a mess and had to be cleaned up and house aired out so it didn't smell like I was giving my family burnt offering.) The roast chicken was baked to perfection and for some reason, as simple as it is, I often don't do it well. The mashed potatoes had nary a lump and Baby Bro asked for leftovers of the dressing, (same recipe for years, with lots of leftovers in past).
Thankful my Niece helped me with house cleaning prior and was my "sous chef" Saturday prior to Dinner. I am detail oriented and was able to delegate those little touches w/o so much as an eyeroll. She likens it to serving Victorian tea to the Clampetts (none of them read this blog). I have been working on them using a bread and butter plate, but still end up w strawberry preserves on the table cloth. (I'm half/half with the importance, I don't lose any sleep over it.)
Thankful my two of my Thanksgiving cacti are blooming. Such an exotic like bloom with such bright pink and red colors. I have three.
One of our facility nurse's is very ill w COVID. So grateful that our facility seems to be without. We are testing today. Most all of our people received boosters this past fall. Tuesday was the first day I'd worn a mask in ages. I don't miss that.
Thankful for the opportunity to decorate one of resident's doors for the holidays. It gives me joy to impart creativity. I am allowed to decorate our Nurses Station counter as well. It is fun for me.
Thankful for the good night's rest, thankful today off is a little less structured. What gets done, gets done and will be good.
my first Thankful Thursday 🙂
• I'm grateful for my friends, we have a birthday tonight and it's always fun to get together and celebrate someone. I'm bringing cucumber sandwiches as it's a tea party.
• Thankful for my pets, always. 2 cats and 1 golden retriever
• I'm thankful for my yoga teacher training cohort, they are really great people and I feel so supported.
• Thankful for the local Buy Nothing group, it's so awesome to swap around items we either need or don't need. I gave away 2 mugs and a llama car fragrance holder (lol so random) and received some Christmas decorations!
I'm thankful that my DH's tough term of teaching (8 am class 4x a week) is nearly over. More sleep for him!
Thankful for some nice weather and slightly warmer temperatures for the next two days.
And for a good night's sleep last night!
You need the blanket trick!
Place a blanket on your bed before laundry, declutterring, or any similar task. When you get too tired draw together the four corners of the blanket and everything lying on it, and lift it off the bed. Hide it in the spare room or just place it on the floor. The bed is free in 2 seconds. Very helpful if you have depression or ADHD or similar where your motivation for a task may change rapidly.
Struggle bus passenger here too as we try to move forward our house purchase, especially as our lawyer had a cyber attack and couldn’t access files for 2 weeks. This will be my FIL’s last Christmas as his cancer is terminal and these things together have sent my anxiety and panic through the roof.
Thankful:
There is still a possibility we can move before Christmas.
My pay rise starts in January so I can afford the mortgage.
Work is understanding about me taking a few sick days due to above stress and anxiety.
I bought Christmas wreaths even when what they’re decorating is rooms full of boxes.
Prednisone. Today I am thankful for prednisone. Yesterday’s my husband had the worst pain I’ve ever seen him in and four hours after taking one dose of that miracle drug, he was walking around cracking corny jokes. Am also thankful that he is taking it for only a few days so side effects should not be a problem.
Yes! I took it for my yellow jacket stings a few months back and my goodness, it worked so well. Like a miracle!
Do I remember the "Nothing is all good. And nothing is all bad." post? YES. Absolutely yes. That has been incredibly helpful to me over the years since you wrote it. (Apparently 7 years! 7 years of that specific blog post helping me. Thank you!) I think of it often.
This week I'm thankful:
* for friends who understand. We got some tough-to-swallow news this week and I have a couple of close friends that are having the same struggles with it that I am and so we can commiserate together, but in the vein of nothing being all bad, we've also been able to talk about ways that it will be a positive - even if it's more negative than positive for us. Kristen - it was your post in action this week. It would have been so easy to get stuck on only the bad, but I fought to also look for the good because I know it's there and I know that also finding the good is better for my mind.
* for the anticipation of a fun few days ahead, even if it will leave me tired and behind in my work. 🙂
* for a smooth last couple of Wednesday mornings. A week ago I had to give a presentation to a full room of adults and I was incredibly nervous, but it went incredibly well. Then yesterday, an activity that we thought would be chaos went really smoothly.
* for this last year of having my youngest at home before she starts school. She is an enjoyable human and this year has been fun with time just the two of us.
Wishing you the best in your heel-wearing days ahead.
Oooh, good job doing a presentation. I have my first college one on Sunday night and I am a little bit nervous!
@Kristen, They'll love you! You can do it!
I will echo you on number one on my thankful list: for the ability to look forward with hope. Chemo is not fun in the least, but I am through the worst of the treatments, and they are working! There was a point in this year when, for the first time in my life, I fully internalized the possibility that I wouldn't be on this earth another year. With my treatments working, I can again thank God for the ability to be hopeful about the future. I'll never take it for granted again.
I am also thankful . . .
-That a major purchase decision is behind us. We've been wavering for a couple months (and dealing with the most bizarre real estate agent ever), but finally signed the papers Monday. It is absolutely the best financial decision, it is just so hard for me to spend any sum of money, much less the largest sum of money I have ever spent at one time in my life.
-That I got to join my coworkers for our end of the semester dinner Tuesday night. I missed the opening dinner because I had just had my chemo port put in the day before and was in much more pain than I had anticipated. Of course, I haven't seen any of these folks all semester because I have been on medical leave. So it was lovely to catch up and meet new faculty.
-That we are about to set down the house that we moved to our land an entire year ago. It is crazy that it has taken this long, but here we are!
I am so very happy that your chemo is successful. Yay!!!!
Kristin, I just love you. Cheers to seeing the glass half full. You have already come really far and are going to go really far in life. Buckle that seat belt, you'll be off soon!!
Aww, thank you for the encouragement!
I am thankful that my husband love leftovers as much as I do. (This week we are eating carnitas quesadillas and retried beans.)
I am thankful that we were able to get our Christmas tree up. Sitting in our living room is more cheerful with the tree lights turned on.
I am thankful for a few good nights of sleep (courtesy of our newborn actually sleeping the last few evenings.) We are trying not to get our hopes up that this is more than a fluke because she is only 8 weeks old.
I am thankful that my doctor said I've recovered well from the C-section. It's nice to be cleared to exercise (now we shall see if I can find the time to exercise).
I am thankful for my morning coffee. So bold and comforting.
@Rebekah in SoCal, My kids slept through the night at six weeks old. They were always good sleepers. I get so sick of people telling parents they'll never sleep again.
And all four of mine were disastrous in the sleep department, despite being large, plump babies at the top of the weight percentile. You'd have thought they could make it through the night without multiple feedings but alas, it was not the case.
But even with babies who did not like to stay asleep at night, they all DID eventually sleep through the night, and as a result, so did I. It does not last forever.
I've had some rough moments this week, but have so much to thank God for:
- My family, including my newest niece just born!
- progress in kids' homeschoolimg
- Homemade hot Cocoa. Who knew it was so easy and yummy?
(1 spoon Cocoa powder, 2 spoons sugar, milk, dash of salt, mint or vanilla if you want).
- cooler nights
-Our puppy
I am so very sorry to hear you are on the struggle bus right now. I hope all the support from your readers helps hold you up a bit.
Sending you love and strength Kristen!
Kristen, you may have a hit song! I listen to a few genres and struggle is a recurring theme. Wearing dress shoes on the struggle bus. I'll give my artistic niece the job of writing a tune when she arrives home next week from Art College.
Maybe to the tune of "bad to the bone"
I'm thankful for a good day of shopping and taking my elderly aunt to her doctor's appt.
*For living on a hill as we are in an "atmospheric river" weather forecast.
*For the neighbor who has contracted covid and is doing okay.
*For fun hobbies to while away the dark days of December.
Only 7 more sleeps before the college kids all fly home and the fun begins!
I'm with you on the Good things in the midst of Hard. It's been a year of Mondays in this particular home, but when I really sit down and think about it, I have more to be thankful for than I have to not. Sometimes the hard things are just bigger and more noticeable than the good stuff.
So in the midst of the hard this week, I've found gratitude for:
1) My handyman, who spent all day yesterday doing repairs and improvements in the house for us. It's surprising how little things such as a broken light fixture, or missing door knob, or broken window blinds can wear on your psyche.
2) For the quilter selling her personal fabric stash at such bargain prices. I haven't bought anything that wasn't juvenile mask fabric since I retired 7 years ago.
3) That my Medicare Advantage plan approved the gel/lubricant injections for my knee, so hopefully I can put off my knee replacement for a while.
4) (Again) the coffee pot given me by a gifting group member. It's been over 2 months now, and I still love getting up in the morning and enjoying the taste of coffee again.
5) Small town businesses, where the cashier and I can laugh about exchanging a box of screws and another employee takes me into the back room of the hardware store to show me her newly finished quilt--and we don't even know each other's name.
6) The manufacturer of my husband's cancer drug. who is going to provide it free for a second year. His PSA count is normal again today, while this time last year it was rising ominously.
7) That precious little face opposite that furiously wagging stub of a tail. She had one health issue after another for 6 months, and will need another surgery, but for now she's perky and happy and loving life again.
Hey there! Your Thankful Thursday post is such a delightful read, Kristen! I love how you find gratitude in the midst of the struggle bus journey. Your ability to appreciate the little things, like belly laughs with classmates and the piney scent of a Christmas tree, is truly inspiring. Also, I can totally relate to the joy of consistent hot water—EMUCoupon once saved me a great deal on a water heater!
Quick question: How do you manage to keep that positive outlook during challenging times, and do you have any other quirky bed-related solutions for common life hiccups?