Many people spend large chunks of their day thinking about what they hate. They are always telling you about something they dislike: this food, that group, this place, that coworker.
You are more than your frustrations. Build your identity around what you love.
I find this concept appealing; I want to be known more for what I love than for what I hate. And I would like to spend more time thinking about what I love than about what I hate.
It reminds me a little of this MLK quote: “Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”
So, here are some things that I love and am thankful for.
I’m thankful:
that I’ve barely had to run my air conditioning so far
It was a reasonably cool May, which means my air conditioning had to run minimally. Yay!
that my landlords are getting quotes for a new boiler
As you know, we have had multiple, um, adventures with the oil boiler here (one involving multiple fire trucks!) Gratefully, my landlords have decided it is time to replace this behemoth, which is probably about as old as me.
where my heat comes from: the hot water running through the baseboards
I am so so so so happy that this winter we will not have to worry about oil furnace issues.
that the rain turned the mosses so green
We had a lot of rain last week and oooh, the mosses are so very happy now.
So many 10/10 options to pet on the trails right now. 😉
This is my favorite kind; like velvet!
for the beauty of raindrops
I love the way drops of water hang around after the rain has disappeared.
I spied these water droplets on some roses outside of CVS and stopped to take pictures.
that there’s an easy way to safely dispose of medications
If you dispose of meds any which-way, there’s a possibility they could harm someone (like pets or children) or that they could leach into the water supply.
So, since I had some expired medications that I needed to get rid of, I brought them to CVS and deposited them into the vault.
Super simple! And I’m glad to know they’re safely managed now, especially since one of the bottles contained my unfinished opioid pain meds from way back in 2016 when I had my nose surgery.
that I didn’t have to go in every day for jury duty
I was on call for a week, so every night I had to check in on the website to see what the instructions were. Happily, I only had to go in one day.
Another happy thing: there was wifi in the building, and I had my laptop with me. So I was able to do NCLEX practice questions during the waiting.
Also, we got let out early! Like even before lunch.
I skipped the shuttle and walked to my car since downtown is beautiful and it was nice weather.
And then I took my packed lunch to a park on the way home and ate it there.
plastic bags because you can’t bring packed metal containers into the court house
You know how A. Marie shared a quote the other day about how you should be skeptical of any endeavor that requires you to buy new clothing?
Well, I was lucky that my divorce proceedings had already necessitated the purchase of some black pants, so I was all set for jury duty. No new purchases required!
that it’s such a beautiful time of year to walk
I do stop and take pictures of things in the winter, of course, especially when there’s interesting frost and ice. But in the green months of the year, I stop even more frequently.
I am endlessly fascinated with the plants that happen to grow on this barrier by the trail, which is essentially a telephone pole turned sideways.
But somehow, there are always multiple plants that find a way to grow in it!
for my $0/month car payment
Several times recently, I’ve seen people saying they have a $1200/month car payment, and hearing that made me really appreciate my no-car-loan minivan.
Is it luxurious? Absolutely not.
But having a $0 car payment is its own kind of luxury.
Also, a van is so handy for hauling things! Just yesterday I helped Sonia and her friends pick up a free dining table and chairs (they’re all moving to a four-year school a few hours away, and they’re renting a house, which needs furnishing).
What are you thankful for this week?
P.S. Regarding the quote at the top of this post: it is a-ok to feel and express frustrations, of course. But if the majority of our brain space is taken up with what we hate, that’s a balance problem.
P.P.S. I often share quotes from James Clear’s free newsletter; you might enjoy subscribing too!
Selena
Thursday 5th of June 2025
1 - HO insurance went up a whopping $28 this year - this includes some septic back-up coverage as basement is not finished 2 - no vehicle payments, no mortgage payments 3 - best cat ever doing well so far - expect the likely not-good biopsy report tomorrow 4 - our five person team is now two (and the person other than me is 10+ years older and has health issues). We're interviewing to replace two (third is on LTD so not sure when that slot is officially "open"). Not going to be easy but to our CEOs chagrin, I get to be selfish. Long story short, she called an employee's question re: AI replacing him/her "selfish". I did not, if you don't look out for yourself, who will? I am retirement eligible (meaning no money left on the table). I've been doing double duty since 2020. Kinda nice to be "the queen". 5 - Tis strawberry season - not enough rain/heat for asparagus but we had a bumper morel harvest from a most unexpected place. Got almost 3 inches of rain, dad got almost 4 inches and he's 10 miles away. I'll be picking in the morning. If you can't squat, you can't pick strawberries.
Megan
Thursday 5th of June 2025
Is the rehabbing of the table complete? I miss your redecorating posts
Mary
Thursday 5th of June 2025
$1200 a month for a car payment?!?! Holy moly, that's more than my mortgage. I'm grateful to have a $0 monthly car payment on my paid-off car.
I'm grateful for the pet stroller I bought for $40 off FB Marketplace. It means I can take at least one of my cats for a walk every day. They love going out (and could ride as long as I'm willing to walk), and it is a reason for me getting out of the house and walking. Plus, I love the double-takes people make when they realize there's a cat in the stroller. "Is that a CAT?" It's spurred many conversations along the way, I get my steps in, and the indoor cats get to go outside and see the world in a safe way. Win-win-win.
I'm grateful for the warm weather and low humidity that have allowed me to turn off the heat (but not yet need the AC) and open the windows. Open windows are my favorite (and the cats, too).
I'm grateful for the availability of fresh produce. I've gradually increased my focus on protein and fiber in my diet, and having a variety of fresh produce makes it so easy to select foods that are significantly better for me than other options that I used to choose. Not everyone has access to or can afford fresh produce, but I'm in a period in my life where I can and never take it for granted.
I'm grateful for my well-honed ability to identify a Plan B or even Plans C, D, and E when Plan A doesn't pan out. Being able to pivot to another method, idea, or way to do something has been incredibly valuable in my life and really helps me to get from one point to the next. Recently, an expensive medication I depend upon and have taken for over a year was removed from formulary coverage with my insurance company (which should be illegal, yet here we are). However, I found another way to access it that doesn't break the bank, and I had enough time to get my FSA set up to fund it for the coming year.
It's me, Sam
Thursday 5th of June 2025
An attitude of gratitude! I had a rough moth of May! However, things are looking up: I had the opportunity to see Mean Girls , the musical this past weekend. It was what I needed. The electrician showed up, and got the job done. It came in under budget. He will be coming back to do more work in the near future! My partner brought me a dozen roses yesterday. I now have a family Dr/clinic to go to! I had a random conversation with a stranger, and poof, I'm in! I had a great appointment yesterday with my naturopathic doctor.
And as always, I'm grateful for Kristen and this community! Thank you for being so kind and generous with your time, thoughts and wisdom.
auntiali
Thursday 5th of June 2025
I am always thankful for so many things. Dh is a gem and he was a great help when the kids were young. Heck, he's just a big kid himself.
Kids that were good, didn't get into trouble and got good grades in school all the way to their Masters.
Living our frugal life for 33 years. For Amy D. who taught me how to be frugal. For my 15 year old Honda CRV (Blue Steel after Zoolander's new look) that's paid off and still rolling. Our other car a Nissan Altima is still chugging along at 11 years old.
Being thankful for the things I have and I really want for nothing. I guess you get to a certain age and nothing seems to be a must have.