Meet a Reader | April in Texas
1. Tell us a little about yourself
I am married and have twin high school-aged children. We have one dog who we got from a rescue during COVID lockdown. I have been an elementary school teacher for more than 20 years.
We live in the suburbs of a major city in Texas (considering that 5 of the biggest cities in the US are in Texas, this is not a very specific answer-HA).
We’re a pretty introverted family so a lot of our time is spent just hanging out together, though high school extracurricular activities are keeping us busier than ever.
2. How long have you been reading The Frugal Girl?
I am not certain how long I’ve been reading but I’d venture to say around 12 years. I believe I found you while searching for homemade yogurt recipes when my kids were toddlers and never left.
A funny FG memory for me was writing to ask if you bought stuffed animals at the store each week back when your kids used to put them in the WIS/WWA posts.
Note from Kristen: I used to post a photo of my groceries each week, and my kids loved adding stuffed animals to these photos, like so:
3. How did you get interested in saving money?
I came from a family with significant financial struggles and I helped my dad balance the checkbook after my mom passed away so there was definitely an very early awareness of the importance of money management. When I was a senior in high school, my amazing economics teacher introduced us to compound interest and that created a fascination with financial planning.
I obviously don’t get significant raises as a teacher and my husband’s income has always been about the same as mine.
Those things together (along with probably a certain amount of in-born personality traits) made money management and frugality priorities for me.
4. What's the "why" behind your money-saving efforts?
There are lots of reasons why I save. One is so I can give.
God has blessed me with a heart for giving; I get so much joy from donating to others. (I would like to add another lesson I learned from FG was how to wisely donate items so they don’t become a burden for charities. Facebook had specific giving groups just for causes in my area I believe in that have allowed me to find good home for so many items.)
Another "why" is that I don’t ever want my children to carry the burden I did of worrying over family finances.
I want to spend my money in ways that add value to my life rather than just stuff to my closets. Having cleared out many family members possessions after their deaths has given me real perspective on the fickle nature of possessions.
So, before I buy, I try to ask myself if I’m really going to value the item enough to keep it. I also try to evaluate when something has lived out it’s lifespan for my family and find someone who will need it more.
5. What's your best frugal win?
My biggest win is probably having a husband who communicates easily about financial choices. We don’t agree on everything right away but we talk things out and find a happy medium.
6. What's a dumb money mistake you've made?
I think buying the cheap version of things has really cost me more than anything else. Having to make the not-right thing work only to replace it after it breaks is really a lot more expensive than just buying quality in the first place.
7. What's one thing you splurge on?
Travel. The life experiences from travel have truly enriched my life.
The photo below is an amazing free breakfast from my visit to Enchanted Rock.
The breakfast and the park were frugal options on a VERY un-frugal b&b stay. I am very fortunate to be in a financial position to afford these trips, but still look forward to affordable experiences while I'm traveling.
8. What's one thing you aren't remotely tempted to splurge on?
Handbags, jewelry, fancy restaurants, professional sports events, crafting, T-shirt’s for every holiday (which is a fun experience for many of my friends but just brings me guilt when the clothing sits unused for so much of the year.)
9. If $1000 was dropped into your lap today, what would you do with it?
I’d probably plan some family experiences. As the kids get older, I realize our opportunities for family experiences are running out.
10. Is there anything unique about frugal living in your area?
I think living so near a major city creates opportunities for free and low cost activities in abundance. The local zoos and museums have discount days/months at different times of the year. There are very convenient and well stocked libraries.
Our public schools and local municipalities have amenities like water parks, nature trails, dog parks, historic sites, tracks, and classes that are free or very affordable. These are all great opportunities to enjoy variety without breaking the budget.
I grew up in a more rural area so having many options nearby is a real treat for me.
11. What single action or decision has saved you the most money over your life?
I’m certain that learning to cook has saved me the most money in my life. I am not a scratch cook and when I see other people’s recipes I’m always humbled by what I call cooking. I continually remind myself that a meal on the table is better than unrealistic expectations and my family is happy with the meals we eat.
So, lower your expectations, my internet friends (insert laughing face here)
12. What is something you wish more people knew?
I have 2:
1. For those who are intimidated by the prospect or saving for retirement, financial planning doesn’t have to be hard and you don’t have to be rich to do it. One of my favorite financial planning books is The Automatic Millionaire by David Bach.
2. For people who struggle with money worries and particularly big expenditures, thinking about costs on the margin has been a huge eye opener for me.
For instance, braces are a major expense. For me, it would be agonizing to think, “oh no, this is going to cost $3000” or $5000 or whatever.
But, I’ve learned that these types of expenses aren’t a choice between spending $20 or $3000. There’s a baseline cost involved.
I can’t get braces for less than $3000 so really it’s a choice between the $3000 braces at the place further away or the $3200 braces at the place close by, for instance.
Thinking this way helps me give myself grace for spending necessary money.
13. Did you ever receive any financial education in school or from your parents?
I think I answered this above. Now I work hard to pass on additional lessons to my kids. We teach them about spending, saving and giving. We helped them open both savings and investment accounts with their allowance. We shop with them and discuss comparing prices at different stores. We now give them their own clothing budgets to manage so they can continue building an understanding of financial choices.
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April, thank you! I have to tell you, my favorite part was when you wrote, "I continually remind myself that a meal on the table is better than unrealistic expectations and that my family is happy with the meals we eat."
This is so wise. Someone out there on the internet is always going to be doing more amazing work in every domestic/personal/parenting arena...maybe someone else throws awesome birthday parties, or decorates their home like a designer, or puts together amazing outfits, or cooks gourmet meals.
But having a "good enough is good enough" attitude can bring so much freedom. Good for you.
(And I wanted to add, your attitude made me think of the "It doesn't have to be perfect to bless other people" post I wrote years ago. Great minds think alike. 😉 )
Readers, the floor is yours!
P.S. If you'd like to catch up on other reader interviews, click here to visit the Meet a Reader page. And just click "older" at the bottom of that page to read even more of the Meet a Reader archives.
Hello, April. Nice to meet you. I can't agree more about the unrealistic expectations (usually created by the internet). Many years ago we were invited to some birthday parties which were so different from our simple ones-- fancy games, elaborate party favors, professional cakes. Our parties are "good enough"; we invite one family, serve a meal like baked potatoes with toppings, and I make a cake. No planned games (the kids are happy to run off and play while parents talk). No party favors. An unprofessionally decorated cake. Sometimes a falling down cake. And I (when I was posting semi-regularly on my blog) loved posting my "good enough" cakes online in hopes that other moms could see that kids could be happy with far less than perfect.
@Jody S.,
This is so true! I am a recovering perfectionist. The internet does create unrealistic expectations in all aspects of our lives.
I have found that life seldom looks perfect especially when you have children, animals, interests, friends, family and obligations. My life can often be messy, chaotic, disorganized, and unplanned. When I finally let go of perfection and embraced what I could not control, I found joy.
Life is filled with mishaps and happy accidents. Some of life’s funniest and most memorable moments are those which did not go according to my plan.
@Bee, That is so true! Thinking back to holidays, the Thanksgiving my mother took a long swig of cranberry juice and said, "That's good wine!" still makes us all laugh. Perfection isn't funny.
@Jody S., Yes to simple birthday parties! When my kids were little I made cut-out cakes for the fun of it (cake mix baked, cut up into a specific shape and decorated to look like something--Hello Kitty, Dinosaur bones, or whatnot) but as they got older I borrowed my sister's idea and let the kids and their friends "decorate" their own cakes. I'd mix different colors of frosting, give them sprinkles, and that would be their planned activity--it was always a hit.
@Jody S., you know those fancy parties are mostly just internet photo ops! Which is sad to me! I am not criticizing the moms who do it, I’m just sorry they feel such pressure over it.
@Jody S., Oh, I struggled with birthday parties for my kids. My mom was a stay-at-home and she always had crepe paper streamers and a fancy (to us) cake with 7 minute frosting and coins hidden around the edges of the middle icing layer. We had games (croquet and a game called 'heavy-heavy hangs over thy head' and mom usually invited all the girls in my grade. I just didn't have the energy or inclination or TIME = and the one and only birthday party I had for my first, a boy, was his kindergarten birthday, invited 5 boys and they only wanted to wrestle and hit each other. The moms dropped off their kids and ran away. it was so horrible for me that I never had another party for that son (we would only invite one friend who I knew was reasonably well behaved, and we would do an adventure). I was scarred for life. With my younger two, I did manage parties but I had found some helpful girlfriends who would show up and stay, but I never could pull off a party like my mom.
About 6 years ago, my mom informed me that she had been purchasing icing rather than making it for YEARS!! (not when I was a kid, because that was centuries ago). I felt a huge weight lift off of me, and have made a lot more good-enough cakes with purchased icing since then. OH we struggle with perfection!
@Kris, our frugal friends kids always made "Gummy Bear Battle" birthday cakes, with different colors of Gummy Bears lining up to fight each other. They were fun and funny, even for the grownups!
Nice to meet a fellow Texan! I'd say we were neighbors, but we could be ten miles apart or 500. Texas is a big state!
I love how you keep your expectations reasonable. Social media has tarnished us with images of perfect meals, perfect vacations, and perfect children.
It's comforting to know not everyone buys into it. Thank you for that affirmation.
@Maria Zannini, fellow Texan here, too! I call Houston (northwest) home.
@SandyH, Hi Sandy!
I'm east of Dallas, but I once lived close to Houston. They have some of the best food there!
It's nice to meet you April. It sounds like you are giving your kids a great background in life. I especially like how you are gradually transferring spending responsibility to them.
I love your thoughts on consumption, the is it worth the time, energy, space, and money to own this and what is the useful life span questions. It feels like so many today just buy, buy, buy because it is so easy with online shopping and credit cards.
It’s wonderful to meet you. You have a great outlook. I often wonder how much in-born personality traits affect frugality. My father was one of four boys. My cousins on his side of the family are all frugal like me. Although our mothers were very different, we handle money similarly. Did we learn the same things from our parents or were we born that way? I guess we will never know the answer.
Hi, April,
I really admire the way that you are teaching your kids about money. I saw only penny-pinching, not management practices, growing up, as my parents never shared about their finances.
I so agree about buying quality. The times I bought cheap or make-do and regretted it! I do better with that now. My prime example of buying quality is my mother-in-law's stainless steel double layer pans, which she bought in the 60's for a pretty penny but which I am still using today. That showed me something worth learning.
Thanks for posting!
Hello April nice to meet you. I like the way you are bringing your children up and giving them the basics about money. So wise. My parents made a lot of mistakes but my siblings and I often say, but they taught us how to handle money.
And yes you are wise to know family time is limited. When my children went to college, I thought they were away for 4 years and would be coming back. After they graduated, got jobs and moved to different areas I woke up one day and thought Huh, they are not coming back. I know that sounds crazy but I just didn't think. So enjoy every minute with them now they are precious.
April, I really enjoyed your post. So many things resonated with me. Save so you can give? Yes! Spend money to add value rather than stuff to your life? Yes! Well-stocked library? Yes! Thanks for sharing with us.
@MB in MN, Well-stocked library indeed! We are investigating moving to another town, and realize how good our local library system really is, even though we are in a small town. That is one of our criteria for a new place. I liked the carpet in the photo above. Colorful, memorable, contemporary, probably easy to hide wear, and sort of metaphorical for sailing away with books.
Very nice to meet you! I enjoyed reading this and will look into your book suggestion at my local library.
Hi, April, thanks for your interesting thoughts—very insightful and useful. Also enjoyed the images, especially of Enchanted Rock, which I googled and now see that it is just an hour from where our younger DS now lives. Your kids are lucky in their parents who teach them good life skills. I love that you value them at home now because ours are wonderful with great jobs….that are so far away 🙁
And a library with with a vast collection of books, DVDs/Blu Rays of films and shows is the best money saving thing! Ours is connected to a system so the item doesn’t need to be IN the library to be gettable in a few days.
"Good enough is good enough" is very wise. I am fairly competent at a lot of things--for instance, my house has been featured in three or four magazines, I lose track. So decorating: good. I'm a very good cook. Where I struggle is in day to day maintenance--keeping my house clean, the dishes washed, the sheets fresh, etc. In my defense I have a lot of chronic illnesses and serious anxiety. I still can't give myself a break with everything not being perfect when it comes to my home. Wish I could figure out how to forgive myself.
Glad you were willing to be featured, April! My family of introverts likes to do the same sorts of things as your family. I definitely agree with you on making family trips a priority. I think our favorite family memories are from our vacations .... and I notice that my college-age son is very motivated to find a way to go on vacation with us this summer, so it's definitely a bonus that he WANTS to spend time with us. Thanks for your upbeat comments. 🙂
Very nice to meet you.
I loved hearing about your economics teacher. That is such an important lesson to learn--it should be part of every math class in high school.
Your concept of putting the food on the table is good. Eating out is so expensive. If I pay for a quality piece of meat at the grocery store, it will still be less expensive to eat at home. From restaurant menus, I like to find a recipe that I think I could make at home cost effectively. Presentation is for the restaurant. There are home cooks who can do that, which is wonderful.
I use my library system all of the time. If I see a book advertised that I think I would like, I borrow it first to see if there is more than one recipe or item to make that would make the purchase worthwhile.
Right now I think my giving is going to be knitted stuff. I have bought and accumulated a lot of year (not as much as others). To see if I like a design, I am trying it out with what I have on hand and I will pass those items on to someone in need. Keeps me busy and declutters me.
Have a nice day all. It is 68 and sunny here in the northeast.
Thanks for sharing, April! It's really interesting to hear about a person's financial upbringing and how it contributes (or motivates) their adult life. My parents were frugal but we didn't really discuss money issues, so I make an effort to bring it up with kids now. I'm thankful that our high school has a personal finance elective; that helps too.
And I'm with you about cooking - I enjoy seeing everyone's contributions to the weekly WIS/WIA, but our meals are not nearly so exciting - so that's a good reminder: good enough is good enough!
Hi, April. I enjoyed your interview, and I think you've started some thought-provoking ideas here: (1) knowing when "good enough" is enough; and (2) knowing our personal frugality-related strengths and weaknesses, and playing to our strengths and forgiving ourselves/compensating for our weaknesses.
For instance, I am never going to like or be very good at housecleaning--but I pay for a crew to come in every 3 weeks, do the minimum between visits, and live with things as they are the rest of the time. Nor am I ever going to be the slightest bit good at even minor plumbing repairs--but, heaven bless him, one of DH's guy friends came in today to attend to a few issues. However, I am black-belt class at a lot of other things. We can't all be social-media-worthy at everything, and thank you for making that clear.
@A. Marie, so well said! Like Bee, I'm a recovering perfectionist. After decades of holding myself to impossibly high standards, and in consultation with my inner therapist, I realized it was far better to focus on what comes naturally and brings joy. Maintaining high standards is good but go too high and life becomes unforgiving, exhausting (mentally and physically) and no fun. Good is more than enough!
Thank you all so much for the kind words and encouragement. You made my day!
It’s always nice to read the comments on this blog. Kristen has created the best community here.
I hope people continue to contribute Meet the Reader posts because I love hearing and learning from everyone.
I really liked your interview and can definitely do well to incorporate that mantra about “good enough “ into my daily life. My house is neat and mostly clean, however I am by no means a talented decorator, but do find myself surrounded by people who put so much effort and money into their homes. I’ve felt inferior about this for years but am getting better about accepting where my interests lie. Thanks April!
I live in Texas too! There really are so many low-cost activities in state parks and cities nearby. We live in a small town that is in ‘the middle of everything’ between Houston, Austin, and San Antonio.
"Is there anything better than a well stocked library?"
No. 🙂 (Sorry, I enjoy answering rhetorical questions.)
Glad you and your family enjoy your library! I can't imagine living anywhere without access to a huge library collection.
How very nice to meet you.
I never gave big birthday parties for my children It was not much of a custom in El Paso back when they were young and in later years their huge treat was to go to the wonderful thrift stores in Austin, Texas, and chose 5 garments for themselves. {which killed two birds with one stone!. Presents they enjoyed and clothes they needed]
Much of my cooking when they were growing up was in the form of one-pot meals. A big favorite of mine was Roman Rice and Beans from "Diet for a Small Planet". I may have overdone this as at one point my 12 year old daughter exclaimed "When I grow up I am never going to eat this again as long as I live!' Never make rash statements. About 15 years later she sidled up to me and asked "Do you still have the recipe for that beans and rice thing you used to cook? "and I was happy to oblige.