Meet a Frugal Girl Reader | Erika
Erika may not be a super familiar presence in the comments, but she and I have been corresponding via email for many years; if I don't hear from her for a while, I send a note to check and see how she and her husband are!
(from Kristen: The light stripey fabric on Erika's home-sewn dress reminds me of a little pink dress Zoe used to wear; you can see photos of it here.)
When she first wrote to me, I remember realizing she was the first reader I knew of that was in her 80s, aside from my own grandmother. I remember feeling so honored that someone older and wiser than me would bother to read my blog and I still feel that way.
Anyway; because I knew she has had an interesting life, I invited Erika to be interviewed quite some time ago. But she's had some health struggles and hospital stays lately which has delayed us.
She's home now, though, (yay!) and she kindly sent answers to my questions.
1. Tell us a little bit about yourself.
I lived in various European countries from birth.
My father was an Irish-American writer from Boston, my mother was a Lithuanian, and I was raised by my mother's parents.
I went to convent schools in Belgium and England, then a British High School, then Cambridge University (Newnham College).
Later I got a Ph.D. in classical and Near Eastern languages, then later an M.S. in rare books and museum work at the University of Texas. I worked in both these fields until retirement.
I had two children from my first marriage; my first husband died from a brain tumor, in 1974. I met and married Craig in 1976.
I am 84 and my husband is 75. So we have had years of frugality, off and on.
Here is a photo of me with cat Pancho. He is old, too--15 years old last week. His mother came to us as a pregnant feral stray and we have had him from the day he was born (under our next-door neighbor's sailboat)
Finding your blog several years ago encouraged us to return to more frugal ways even though they are no longer necessary.
It may be unusual that our most frugal years, of necessity, happened in middle age during our first years of marriage, my second and Craig's first, begun in 1976.
When we met; I was a widow with 2 children and Craig had just come out of the army after the Vietnam war.
He was a brave man to take us all on:: 2 children, 2 dogs, 5 cats, and 2 parakeets.
We had to be frugal as we both went back to graduate school at the University of Texas at Austin, finding part-time minimum wage jobs within the university, where every penny had to be squeezed till it squeaked!
A few favorites:
- My favorite authors are Charlotte Yonge, Mrs. Molesworth, Eva Ibbison (all comfort reading, I notice.)
- My favorite place to live has been El Paso, Texas
My favorite hobbies (most are in the past now that I am 85)
- gardening
- swimming in rivers and ponds, such as Barton Springs in Austin, TX, before it became chlorinated and changed
- hiking
- reading Victorian children's books. Always a delight to find ones I didn't know. The Gutenberg Project has been wonderful for this.
- making my own clothes and doing sewing of all kinds
My saddest thing in life: Not having a child with my second husband.
My happiest memory is spending a day in the mountains with my second husband to be, near El Paso, with a picnic. We decided to marry and we came down to eat dinner at a favorite restaurant, The Double Eagle, in Old Mesilla.
The staff were so kind. We were scruffy and they did hide us in a corner but they gave wonderful service!
2. How long have you been reading The Frugal Girl?
At least 6 years and more.
3. How did you get interested in saving money?
Watching my family fling it around made me interested in saving money. They could afford to fling it around but it still horrified me.
After a very wealthy childhood in my grandparent's home, with boarding schools and servants, it was bliss to decorate my own smaller homes and live very freely and privately with both husbands.
This is why I so appreciate your blog. It is my favorite because I have learnt so much from you.
4. What's the "why" behind your money-saving efforts?
It's lovely to always have $15,000 to $20,000 in emergency savings.
Every year we choose one big project-- kitchen, bathrooms, roof and chimneys, to do without taking out loans = a wonderful feeling.
Then we build the savings back up + our usual $6,000 tax return.
5. What's your best frugal win?
Not quite a win but my husband found a 1st edition of "Lolita" at a Goodwill store and promptly sold it for $7,500 to a Philadelphia antiquarian bookseller!
6. What's a dumb money mistake you've made?
I can't think of one really, we are careful people.
7. What's your splurge?
Food, definitely. We love home cooking and don't stint ourselves with the ingredients. We buy a lot of foods from Amazon.
My favorite food now is blackberry and apple crumble, homemade. Years ago it would have been roast pheasant with all the trimmings.
8. What are you not remotely tempted to splurge on?
A more expensive house, car, etc. as we are very content.
9. If $1000 was dropped into your lap today, what would you do with it?
This actually happened! We received $10,000 from the will of a barely known relative. We used it to start our emergency savings account of $15,000.
10. Share a frugal tip with your fellow readers
I have two tips which are related.
- Use Indian ghee for almost all frying . Goes to high temperatures and doesn't spatter = pure butter which we love
2. Mix 2 bars of Irish salted butter with 12 ozs of cheap, light olive oil from Costco. This tastes of butter and spreads straight from the refrigerator.
One of the best things about growing old is seeing so many changes and, on the whole, they are for the better. To those younger persons still struggling I would say, "Hang in there--life becomes so good as time passes."
__________
Erika, thanks so much for participating! It was lovely to hear more about your life and family.
I'm sure readers will have questions for you too, but I have one that came to me as I read your interview: Is there anything you miss about the life you used to lead, with servants and great wealth?
Hi Erika! This was delightful to read. The photo of you and your mom melted my heart. My question for you is: what about El Paso made it your favorite place to live? Thank you for sharing your story with us!
Hello, Erika. What an encouraging story. The love you have for your husband really shines brightly. I love your bookshelves filled with books!
She sounds like she's had a really interesting life! Had to be very posh to have a Norland nanny!
Only, as a Brit, there is no such place as Eastbound Beach... She's probably mis-remembering Eastbourne Beach... I did google to check!
It might’ve been a typo or auto-correct.
So wonderful to read about you Erika, and your husband!
Kristen, I love this part of the blog: keep it going!
Hi Erika! Thank you for the fascinating read. I agree that roast pheasant is delicious, though I was wondering what "the trimmings" are for it. Also, what did you love about El Paso? That's not so far from us. I might have to take a road trip . . .
It is nice to meet you, Erika. You have had so many interesting experiences!
Your advice to young people is so accurate. The 20s and 30s can be really difficult and stressful as one attempts balance career, family, household chores and competing financial needs; but things often get better over time.
Although I do not have a background in rare books as you do, I am also a Bibliophile. I have spent some time digging through the Goodwill Bins and have found some wonderful antique books including an beautiful Bible from the 1860s. However, nothing like Lolita. What a find!!!!!
I wish you and your husband continued peace and good health.
Loved meeting you! Be well!
Thank you to Erika for sharing her interesting life. And the tip on using ghee for frying is great.
I'd be curious to learn how or why Erika to came to live in the US, rather in Europe where she grew up.
I was wondering the same thing! So interesting that El Paso has been the favorite place to live! Interesting interview!
Hi Erika - Thank you for sharing, and I'm glad you're home from the hospital! I love hearing about all the different frugal life journeys, and yours really captures my imagination since it started in other countries and times and included unusual (to me) things like servants and wealth and boarding schools. I love the pictures of you and your husband, and I think pictures at our house might look very similar, with lots of books in the background and an aged pet (small dog in our case) on our lap.
Thank you for the butter + olive oil tip - what a great idea, and great timing. I often just leave a stick of salted butter out at room temp during the cold months, but refrigerate it now during warmer times, so I'll try this tip so I'll be able to spread it!
Fascinating read. Thanks for sharing. I'm impressed by your resilience. Hope to try your tip about ghee. Where do I find Indian ghee or is all ghee spatter-free?
You can now find ghee at most, or better filled, grocery stores, and always at Asian/Indian markets. Here in Texas I can find it at Aldi, Kroger, Winco, Whole Foods. Any fat heated high enough will spatter. A handy screen would be useful here. Find them at Walmart, Target, Kohls-maybe?
Erika, thank you for sharing your insights and story! I have had a Lithuanian employer and she was the nicest ever! And WOW! Those are savings goals we hope to reach soon.
Glad you are better and it is a great blessing to see a marriage that lasts through the decades.
Aldi carries ghee in its baking aisle next to the other cooking oils. Other grocery stores will carry it along with some ethnic markets I'd expect.
Walmart now has ghee as does Trader Joe's and all the other places mentioned in the replies. I'm sure you can probably even get it on Amazon.
A PhD in classsical and Near Eastern languages! How amazing! My sister studied archaelogy in grad school and I remember her struggling with Akkadian.
I also love Victorian children's books. My favorite illustrator is Walter Crane. I am toying with the idea of writing a book about him.
Erika, I love your story.
Erika, I loved your story. Thanks so much for sharing it.
This was lovely, Erica! Thank you for sharing.
Erika - it's so lovely to 'meet' you! Have you looked at the Library of Congress website for other Victorian children's books? http://www.loc.gov It's an incredible, Alice-in-Wonderland rabbit hole of a website, so be prepared. 🙂 You don't need any special credentials or library cards to visit the website or see what's been digitized. As someone who worked with rare books, you'll probably be able to navigate the catalog easily...for the rest of us - reach out to the LOC librarians. They are just as wonderful as your local librarians and ready to help! Full disclosure: I'm a very part-time volunteer at the Library of Congress (in non-COVID times) and think it's one of the most wonderful places on earth.
I was a House Page in 1985 - 1986 as a junior in high school. The school for pages was on the third floor of the Library of Congress. I took it for granted then and regret it now.
What a wonderful volunteer gig!!!! I am full of envy. My husband has reminded me over the years that I told him one condition for marrying him was that he never complained about how much I spent on books. How I would love to have access to the Library of Congress regularly.
I am trying to think of an answer to this. My "wealthy living" years were during a rather strict childhood--I disliked my 2 boarding schools (both convent schools for girls only and very restrictive)
Ah, I do have an answer! At 14 years old I was diagnosed with TB. My grandfather offered me a holiday to Italy, just the two of us. Before I was placed in a hospital. We started with Rome and the Vatican, which was his choice not mine. But then we went to Florence and then Assisi. I was very attached to St Francis and I am glad that I saw his home before the city's massive earthquake some years ago. In fact my grandfather died a few months later. It was his farewell trip to life although I was quite unaware of this.
The hospital I was sent to was on lake Lugano--again, money no object...but maybe an odd choice: only one other child there, a Swiss boy of my age. We became great friends and remained in contact for many years. He became a very stuffy young man--in Swiss banking.
Having servants could cause many problems. I remember us all sneaking into the kitchen, after going to a movie, to make hot chocolate. The cook came home early and exploded with rage--it was his kitchen. Even my grandmother trembled!
I loved this interview- so interesting!
I am so fascinated by your amazing life with all it's twists and turns! And how you have kept growing and learning and finding the happy silver linings as you go. And yikes, that Lolita -- Wow 🙂 !! It is such a pleasure to meet you and hear all about your journey -- I hope we can hear more sometime. Thank you!
Wow, Erika, I gasped at your husband's Goodwill-purchased book that sold for $7,500. That's the kind of find that keeps me scrounging!
And the book was Nabokov's Lolita, yet! Wow. I'd tell my DH about this if I could; he was a major Nabokov fan before the Alzheimer's set in.
Thank you for all your replies! I am making a list of your questions and if Kristen can stand it I will post a long reply in a day or two. My husband reminded me of the proverb "you can't teach your grandmother to suck eggs" but Kristen and her other readers have given me so many lessons
Erika, thank you for sharing!! What a lovely interview. I would also love to hear more about your life!
What a wonderful interview with a most interesting person. I really enjoyed it.
Erika: I so enjoyed your post. Thank you for sharing your fascinating (and frugal) life with us!
It's so good to meet you, Erika - your life sounds really interesting. I'm sure it has had its ups and downs, especially being widowed as you were, but you seem to have plenty of joy for life yet.
It's interesting to me when a person who was raised around wealth ends up being frugal. So many of the people I know who were raised with enough money to be called wealthy, by middle class standards at least, throw their money around like crazy. I'm impressed with the contentment in her lifestyle that Erika expresses.
I have to add that the Goodwill book find really made my jaw drop. That's an amazing find! How many people would have even noticed that book? Or gone browsing at Goodwill in the first place? Kudos to her husband!
Erika: I really enjoyed reading about your life it was so full of interesting facts! Thanks for the tips on using Indian Ghee I cannot wait to find it and use it all the time. You stay healthy and take care of yourself!
Karen
Aldi carries it
Because of the pandemic, I have been driving up and picking up my groceries at Walmart. It is the only store in my town that offers that service. I looked at their list, and they have several kinds of ghee. It just be more common than I realized!
Oh,Oh,Oh, This was so enjoyable to read. I joined your site for recipes and did not realize how much I would LOVE your stories! It is fascinating to hear about the lives of others. Thank you. When we go on vacation, I really enjoy hearing other peoples stories........like, how did your family wind up here, etc.?
Everyone has a story. I love hearing it and I am so glad you did this piece. I, too, would have more questions for Erika. My life was very different. I grew up very poor and am so THANKFUL for it. My parents and grandparents taught us all kinds of tips and tricks. Sooooooo thankful!
Thank you again, Kristen.
What a wonderful story to read!! I feel like the older generation can teach us a thing or two (which is why I love having my mother around so much).
We just purchased some ghee, but haven't gotten in the habit to use it regularly!! Thanks for the reminder,
XOOX
Jodie
http://www.jtouchofstyle.com
Oh I love this interview and post! What an interesting smart lady she is. I hope you do more interviews of your readers. Like someone said below, everyone has a story, and we can learn from them all.
PS Glad to know there is someone older than myself on here. I've been a Grandma for over 20 years. Your blog apparently attracts all ages.
I love hearing people's life stories. Maybe that's why I like patient care so much--every life is so interesting! Erika, thank you for giving us a peek into your life.
Folks--ghee is just clarified butter and it's easy to make.
Loved seeing that you attended Newnham College! I had the opportunity to attend a summer international program at Cambridge University a few years ago and we were housed at Newnham. I enjoyed exploring the building and grounds.
What a lovely person to read about. I am so intrigued by the fact that you were raised in wealth, but chose a life of frugality. Instead you allowed learning and experiences to become your wealth.
I am really quite jealous of your education in linguistics-- if I had been smart enough to pursue my strengths, I would have majored in linguistics. Wish we could pick your brain some more!! Have you written a memoir?
Yes, I would love to read a book about your life, Erika! This was a fascinating interview.
What a wonderful interview...my favorite so far! Thanks so much for sharing, Erika, and for doing this series, Kristen. Like so many have mentioned, I LOVE hearing from the older generations. There is so much wisdom to glean.
My favourite too! Warmed my heart.
Erika, it was lovely reading your interview and I would love to hear more about your life.
This was a delight to read, and a real encouragement.
Really enjoyed reading this ❤️
We actually have butter like you mentioned in the store here in Germany. It spreads wonderfully and has the irreplaceable taste of butter
Wonderful interview! I just turned 80 on Memorial Day. I just wanted to let you know there are some Seniors reading your great blog! I started reading when your youngest was not homeschooled yet. Not sure how long ago that was. Wishing you continued success and much happiness! Kate
I answered your question here on an two times earlier blog entry of yours so I hope you go backwards occasionally.
I should add that we were paid such an incredible price for the 2-volume "Lolita" because it was covered in scribbles which were actually Nabokov's himself and that he had drawn his famous butterflies on the several blank pages. It really was a treasure and we are still goggle-eyed when we think about it. We wanted to find the previous owner and go shares but this information was not forthcoming. It may well have Been stolen...
Erika W.
WOW! What an absolute treasure!
Here I am again, back with some answers, in no particular order.
1) Roast pheasant with all the trimming = red currant jelly, game chips (very small French fries) roast celery and browned crisp bread crumbs. We would also haveBrussels sprouts and mashed potatoes.
2) Library of Congress. As soon as we moved here, within driving distance to Washington, DC, our very first destination was The Library of Congress--we got our free membership passes for the delight in carrying them in our wallets!
3) struggling with Akkadian--oh yes, yes! I believe that now, many years later the archeology is stressed more than the languages., would that it had been then. I enjoyed the Egyptian Tory tales and religious information the most.
4) GHEE. I had not realized that many stores now stock it--that's good. We started, and continued, buying it from Amazon, postage free as we belong to Amazon Prine, and had not bothered to look for it elsewhere.
5). When mixing butter and olive oil ALWAYS use the cheapest lightest oil or it will taste peculiar--not of the butter.
6). My first husband and I, plus our babies, came to the USA in 1964 as part of "The brain drain" there were many good academic jobs over here but little chance of employment in the UK. we had been told that our degrees were the best way to be unemployed that We could have chosen! Over here we instantly found university positions to move into as soon as we arrived.
7) why is El Paso my favorite place? I fell in love with the desert . The wide skies , the dry climate, shopping across the border in Juarez, the whole Mexican culture. Mind you, this was 50 years ago. It has grown enormously and the polluted air is no joke.
8). I have written a private memoir.for my children and grandchildren. No wish to try for publication-- there are many, many such memoirs available, very similar to mine.
9) yes it should have read Eastbourne for my son's photo. My iPad makes constant guesses to my words and I didn't catch this one. The beach shown is very near Beachy Head.
I didn't choose a life of frugality. My grandparents' property and monetary funds went to a male grandson--my cousin, by law. I think in English it is called an entail. Also, of course they lost all their Lithuanian property when the Soviets moved in. They had left Austria when the German Nazis took over. They were horrified . Then they had to leave Lithuania in 1945. Their Austrian property and bank accounts were intact to return to.
When I married my first husband, a Scotsman, both sides were not amused. It was funny really. They had the identical complaint: He/she is foreign. He is a Protestant. She is a Catholic. But reconciliation followed very quierika W.ckly once our children were born.
Ohhhh, I remember hearing about an entail in Downton Abbey! It was a huge issue in that storyline, since the parents had only girls.
Love this post! So fun reading Ericka's answers.
This was a lovely post! It must be lovely to relax a bit after having had to be so frugal at the start of your second marriage. My story is somewhat similar in that way.