Kids' Toys | What to keep, what to give away
Readers frequently ask me about how I handle outgrown toys.
What do I keep? What do I get rid of? Is there any point in keeping outgrown toys around? What about when grandchildren come along? Is it more frugal to keep toys rather than getting rid of them?
So. Here's how I've dealt with the outgrown toy situation.
(Which includes nearly 100% of our toys now that my youngest kid is 12!)
First: I totally am not a fan of keeping things unnecessarily.
If it's not going to get used and loved at least somewhat regularly, I'm not interested in storing it. So, I do tend to want to give away things my kids outgrow.
That way they can bring joy to another kid and I don't have to find a place for them here!
Secondly: I also am not a huge fan of getting rid of every toy once it's outgrown.
I have nieces and nephews, friends with small kids, and cousins with small kids, and possibly one day I will have grandkids who visit.
I know as a parent, it was always nice to go to a house that had toys for my kids to play with, and I do want to offer that to the parents and small kids in my life.
In light of that, I try to find some middle ground for outgrown toys.
I've generally gotten rid of toys that
- take up tons of space (looking at you, Little Tikes workshop!)
- are cheaply made
- are duplicates (I only need to keep one kind of building toy)
And I've tried to keep ones that
- are universally appealing
- encourage creative, imaginative play (not unitaskers)
What toys did I keep?
What specifically do I have in the closet?
I kept:
- Duplos
- A bin of matchbox cars
- the vintage Fisher-Price parking garage (bought on eBay when Joshua was small)
- a bin of toy food/dishes
- a small bin of My Little Ponies
- a small bin of baby toys
This pretty much covers any visitors I have that are 8 and under. And honestly, the Duplos, cars, and toy food still have some appeal past the age of 8. My girls played with Duplos forever!
I also kept some board books, mostly because I couldn't bear to get rid of them. So many memories of bedtime/naptime reading with my babies and toddlers.
Most of these toys get stored on closet shelves, so they're up and out of the way when we're not using them.
What did I do with toys we didn't keep?
If they're valuable enough, like my girls' Calico Critters or our bin of Legos, we sell them.
But mostly, we've given our outgrown toys away either to younger cousins, or to freecyclers.
____________
I know some of you out there have older kids too...so, how did you decide what to keep and what to get rid of?
P.S. Full disclosure: we also have an elephant in the proverbial room, and it's a bunch of stuffed animals. Man, my kids have a hard time getting rid of these, largely because they have names! and personalities! And usually other people don't want second-hand stuffed animals anyway. So we do have a huge bin of those and I suppose they'll just stay with us for now.
Stuffed animals are a hard one to deal with for us too. I have started to put up stuffed animals that they do not actively play/sleep with in the closet to minimize the mess. Hopefully when my youngest is older he can calmly tell me it's ok to give them away. (Right now he wants to keep anything and everything in his room because it's his...) **I promised my kids I will never get rid of a toy without asking them first. My husband's mom gave away all of his action figures once he hit his teenage years without his permission and he still gets upset thinking about it:(
I keep things in a similar fashion...but know we're at a different stage...where our kids are gone for college, and I'm afraid that getting rid of some things will make them feel like we're throwing their childhood away! Such as...the big chalk board that my dad built a stand for, which takes up a lot of room! (we don't have closets to store such things in, and the basement is damp)
Our kids are 23 and 18 now, so a lot of clearing out has already taken place in our home. What did we hold onto? Many of the kids’ books, as well as their outdoor gym and sandbox. Both represent a major financial investment that would not be easily replicated on a young family’s budget. Besides, the books are sentimental favorites and almost like family members at this point. The Dr. Seuss books our son and daughter grew up with were mine when I was little – I can’t think of anything better than to see them in the little hands of our grandchildren.
Here’s a lesson I took to heart from a book called “Downsizing the Family Home” by Marni Jameson: If you’re having a difficult time getting rid of a particular object, think about why that object is important. If it’s because of the object and its USE (my mother’s sewing machine which I plan to use to make quilts for my kids), then it may be worth holding onto. But, if it’s because the object brings forth a particular MEMORY of a special person or occasion in your life (my mother’s old mixer and we used to bake cookies together all the time), realize that it’s the memory that’s important to you and not the object. Take a photo and then pass it on so that someone else can enjoy it, too.
As for stuffed animals, that proverbial can is getting kicked down the road at our house, too. There were many that our kids couldn’t bear to give up (look up the word “anthropomorphic”) and I would never get rid of them behind their backs. So, they’re packed away in our storage area and the kids will have to deal with them when they’re ready. Or when we sell the house, whichever comes first!
We have so many hand me down toys at home. Our son plays with just a couple of them.
I've been thinking about giving away most of the toys, but the what if question always holds me back. We are having a second baby, so I don't know if she will like to play with the rest. It's such a headache sometimes.
We are at the grandparent stage and we have accumulated bins of toys for the kiddos. Just recently, I loaded up the toys that they don't play with anymore and dropped them off at the Goodwill.
The kiddos never missed them. But, we still have a shelf full of legos. Those will stay. I think legos are a timeless toy for both kids and adults.
I too am at the grandparent stage. I actually ended up accumulating a lot of toys (mostly found used) as I was the daycare provider for awhile. Legos never go out of fashion...it is the one toy that all will play with.( 4 girls/1 boy) I do still keep a lot of craft supplies too!
@~Lisa~,
I plan to keep legos too.
My kids have my childhood legos mixed with theirs.
Plus I’ll keep favorite books
@Jody,
Oh, and games! That have all the pieces or replacement. My kids play with my Mom’s old chess set from the 70s. One of the pawns ♟️ was replaced with a bottle of nail polish when she was a teenager and they still use it. They love it but have had a couple comments from friends visiting. We really don’t need a new one. It works just fine. We have some games from my childhood too. & we have my husband’s erector set.
Ugh, I am no help here. My kids want to keep every single toy. I usually wait until a time when they are gone and get rid of things that are sorta junky, like happy meal toys...I hate those!!!!I don't get rid of things I know they care about. I do have a grandchild, so I keep some baby toys. Also, I have found that the toys I have put in yard sales don't sell very well unless they are high end toys. My kids have allergies so we only keep a few special stuffed animals.
Oh stuffed animals.... They get so attached!!
We’re hardcore about donating toys when they outgrow them. Our house is small and we have NO storage, plus no nieces or nephews (yet - two on the way!!).
Broken, unusable toys always get thrown away immediately or put in the “outside toy” bin for further destruction.
I have so many stuffed animals sitting around! But yeah, people don't really want secondhand stuffed animals. The big issue I have is a bunch of Santabears that were gifts, but they are giant! I may start selling those on Ebay, but they were definitely played with an are not in pristine condition.
I think your overall plan is good, Kristen. I suspect that the amount of space you have in your home may play a part in decision making. We don't have a large home, but years ago I made a giant play area in our (unfinished) basement. We've slowly been whittling away at the toys, but I am "reading" my kids (12 and 14) to see when they are ready to get rid of a certain toy. I find that sometimes they (yes, even the 14-year-old!) want to "revisit" childhood. There are very few years for being a kid and I want mine to feel they can enjoy it as long as possible. I have a nephew who enjoyed his Legos far into his teen years--and yes, he is currently a well-adjusted adult; he is also an elementary ed teacher so maybe this was beneficial for preparing him for his chosen profession. I hate to feel like I am picking an arbitrary age number when my kids need to abandon their toys. And I have noticed that, given the opportunity, kids visiting our home jump into play mode without hesitation. I wonder if kids aren't quite as ready to grow up as they would sometimes appear to be. However, the basement area gives me a little bit of buffer room for all these toys to live--if we didn't have a basement, I might be pushier about cleaning out stuff.
I agree with this completely. We also have a basement. We put in walls down there to delineate the space, creating a game room, a laundry room, an office, a storage/mechanicals room and a large play room for the kids.
We have people over a lot and the kids love that playroom. It is painted in cool colors, the concrete is covered in foam mats and there are large tables for legos and games, plus that is where the Xbox lives.
The room is tucked out of sight so it can be a mess and it doesn't matter. So, we decluttered the trash and useless things and put the rest into small bins on low shelves.
We reassess the collection of stuff once in a while when we do a big clean-up but the basic assortment of lego, wooden blocks, games, dress-up stuff, swords/lightsabers/assorted weaponry and Nerf items remains roughly the same. I doubt I will get rid of any of it at this point. The stuffed animals and books stay in their bedrooms and those collections are deeply personal. They can sort then out when they are adults. The toys will still be around for the grandbabies. We don't need the space for anything else.
I bet our play areas look very similar! It's been a HUGE blessing to have a space where the kids can play the way they want to and not have to worry about it looking messy. I can be upstairs and not in the middle of the noise but still aware of what's going on. I find that the space is starting to morph now that my kids are getting older (made room for a sewing area ... ) but I doubt I will ever completely do away with it.
We started this while the kids were still young -- at Christmas, no gifts could be played with until they went through their rooms and got out all the toys they no longer played with, or were irreparably broken/missing parts. The broken/missing piece toys went to the dump (sorry, there was no place to recycle them!). The good toys were cleaned if needed, then they also went to the dump, but in those days, our dump manager was a really good guy, and he had a clean place for people to set out good stuff for anyone else to take. My husband set the good stuff neatly in the free-for-the-taking spot and the toys were always taken, always. This kept the amount of toys in check in our very small home, and enabled someone else to use the toys. The kids got really into this, and would search diligently for a missing piece so someone could actually use that toy instead of trashing it.
Because we gave away toys frequently, by the time they left home, most of the toys were already gone. Each girl had two stuffed animals that she kept, for sentimental reasons and because one of the stuffed toys each girl kept was a Steiff. I kept the best of their books, which are now cycling through grandkids #2 and #3. We donated some toys and books to church nurseries and church yard sales, and some to school fund-raiser yard sales, too. Our kids found out that giving is really a lot of fun, and we kept the clutter down. When I started having grandkids, it was a simple matter to check out yard sales and find a few decent toys for them to play with when they visit.
great tips. i'm at the beginning stages of this, as my son is almost 2, so i'm saving toys (and clothes!) for now because we have the space and don't know what the future holds for our family size. but i did want to say regarding stuffed animals... my sister and i saved so many of ours, and now our kids play with them. it's pretty adorable. my sister kept more than i did and i'm a little sad now, but am glad i saved the ones i did.
I remember when I was a kid and I would play with the bin of old toys at people's houses. 🙂 It really was nice to have new-to-me toys that I could play with at my granny's house. I think that's a great way to keep ALL of your guests entertained. 🙂
My hubby and I taught our boys from a young age to go through their toys and clothing to donate. We always gave them a choice of what outgrown toys/clothing should "go to the children up the street" or a thrift store.
The stuffed animals could be washed and donated to an animal shelter or to a womens shelter for children who are going through a trauma.
Also, check with your local childrens hospital or ambulance service. Our ambulance collects stuffed animals to hand out to kids involved in an emergency. Makes the ambulance ride a little easier.
My approach is simple for now because my son is two. He has one bin of toys that fits in our living room, and whatever fits in there is what we keep. If the bin is full and we get new things, I get rid of stuff. The only exceptions to this are that he has a bin of duplos and a bag of plastic ball-pit balls in his closet and one stuffed animal that resides on his bed.
I currently have free reign over which toys to get rid of and which toys to keep, because he doesn't care a whole lot. He actually plays better with less toys. However, I realize that very soon, he'll care and I will no longer be able to just get rid of his toys. He'll need to be a part of the process.
My future approach will probably be something along the lines of "you may only keep what fits into your toy bin" or maybe a hard-and-fast rule that if a toy is broken it goes away? I think this will depend on his personality. Probably my most successful tool will always be to be purposeful about what comes in. Happy Meal toys? no thanks. Random goody bags filled with junk? nope. Impulsive toy purchases at the store? no no no.
Oh I was wondering about the stuff animals too. I don't have any of my animals from childhood and I have no idea where they were. I cared about them up to the age I left for college. My mom hoards onto most of me belongings and a few toys but I wish she would just donate them...if anyone wanted them...oh I just remembered most of mine were street finds and passed over toys... well they were new to me! Probably shouldn't redonate them then...
This is a tough one! Not sure how I plan to handle this later. I'm a new mom (15 mo old daughter and son on the way!), but my own Mom let us keep/ store pretty much anything my sister and I liked. And I am so thankful now because I get to open up the boxes and share my old toys/books with my girl. My Mom passed away recently, so sharing these old memories with my girl has been a good way for me to connect with my own Mom, and help her to someday think about her Grandma. It is about the memories, and passing things on for me. 🙂
I think if you have the space, that's totally fine to do! If I had unlimited space, I might keep more too. But with six people in a not-super-huge house, getting rid of things regularly is kind of a must.
My mom saved the My Little Ponies from my childhood, and my girls played with them. So fun.
I can relate to the stuffed animal dilemma. My daughter has many, many stuffed animals. As she starts to think about leaving for college in the fall, she is not sure what to do with them. One thing we are talking about doing is taking photos of them and making a scrapbook. She may not find new homes for them right away but this way she will be able to relive memories where ever she is.
I pretty much just saved my son's Leggos- the grandsons did like them but now at 14 and 16, they're not interested. None of my 3 kids were that interested in stuffed toys- youngest collected Beanie Babies for a bit but we gave those away long ago. Youngest daughter sold 2 American Girl dolls and the clothes I had made them before she left for college so we don't have any dolls around except the Barbies I bought as an 'investment.' HA! I'd gladly give them away to someone who could use the few bucks they might get. I still have a toy box with a few things in it but nothing very exciting.
I kept a box of cars and a big bin of legos...a few dinosaurs and special stuffed animals (only like 3). I wish I had kept more Thomas Trains. I gave them to my nephew, but there were tons and I would have liked to have a box of them back for my son's children one day. The trains are the only regret which isn't bad considering I got rid of most everything.
I agree; this one is different for every family depending on space available, personalities, etc.. My parents had a lot of space - they saved a bunch of our childhood toys (we had that Fisher Price garage!) and all the grandkids loved them. We have just been going through closets and I would love to get rid of more... But for now, what we got rid of was a lot of the lovely baby clothes that we kept because they were given by grandmas etc. (pictures are fine!), and many toys. What we still have are a bunch of creative toys, like blocks, Legos, marble runs, and playsets (e.g. dollhouses/castles). Wish we could settle on fewer, but each family member has special reasons for keeping different toys! One tip I have: as I look back, I can see that there were probably "windows" that I missed, where we could have passed along more toys & everyone would have been ok - now it's almost like we hit a tipping point where everything's nostalgic. So I'd say - try some of the great ideas others have mentioned to get your family clearing out periodically; maybe you can avoid this nostalgia phase!
My darling daughter will be 26 this year, and I've kept her American girl doll ( it's the only doll she ever asked for and at the age of 11 lol), her beanie babies, two totes of books ( I've kept her favorites and some with sentimental value) and a polly pocket house. I've also kept her Little Tykes kitchen and table set ( they're currency on loan to my first cousin, but when his girls are done with them I'll get them back and give to my daughter). If and when she has a family, the toys will be packed up and taken to her. If that doesn't happen, I'll keep everything for my beaus' potential grand kids... I've got the room, and it takes up very little space here.
I kept my dolls, thinking my future kids would love them. But none of my three girls ever got into playing with dolls! Sigh.
My daughter is 9, and has outgrown quite a few of her toys at this point. Our coffee table has a bottom shelf, and I bought three big baskets that fit on it nicely. In them I have: baby toys, blocks, and kitchen toys. I consider these my hospitality baskets for little visitors! 🙂 When we have families with little children over, it helps entertain them, plus it keeps them in the living room instead of in my daughter's room (I've found that little children can wreak havoc in my daughter's room which is very upsetting to her! So we work around it by keeping everyone in the main part of the house.)
Other toys that have been outgrown have been passed on or sold, depending on what they are.
My mom was so excited when my husband and I bought our house because she could finally force all my old stuffed animals on me. It's still hard to get rid of them! I passed most of them down to my kids and now they are finally getting loved. Maybe it will be easier for me to get rid of them when they are totally grody.
My kids are preschool-aged, and I was GLEEFUL about getting rid of the baby toys. Now I'm wishing I kept a small box of them for when we have babies visit. I'll have to keep that in mind as we continue to outgrow toys.
My parents kept many of the same things you did - wooden blocks, Lego/Duplo, and that exact Fisher-Price garage! Honestly, I still kind of like tinkering with it when I play with nieces and nephews. They also kept some of our books.
My in-laws kept...everything. Plus all of my nieces' and nephew's outgrown toys. Their attic is stuffed to the gills with everything they've ever owned. It stresses me out to know that one day their children (and children-in-law) will have to deal with ALLLLLLL of that junk!
I vote for your way (and the way my parents did it). Phew.
My boys are 8 and 11. I’ve insisted that they choose toys to donate or sell each year around Christmas and their birthdays in order to make space and that has worked really well. They can choose to keep what they love that way. I can’t bear to get rid of their favorite baby toys though!!
I am a sucker for keeping books. I have so many books that my kids read. Now that I'm a grandma, I let them take home a book now and then. I also shipped some favorite read aloud books to my daughter to read to her kids.
Oh the stuffed animals! My son is only 3 and we already have a giant collection that he receives as gifts.
One suggestion: If any of your stuffed animals resemble children’s book characters (like the Kohl’s Cares ones we seem to accumulate) you might see if a local school or library would like them. The school I teach at displays them alongside related books to encourage readers and allows them to have a “reading buddy.”
I kept my kids Thomas the train set, wooden puzzles, select Barbie dolls, and toys that were their favorite. I still have my Cabbage Patch Kid from when I was 9. My youngest is 16.
I forgot. All of the girls American Girl stuff too.
As the (former) owner of a dog that would shred anything that was stuffed, I would happily take stuffed animals from people I knew so that she'd have something to do for 10 minutes. (I'd cut out the plastic eyes first).
I'm still far from the teenage years, but I still think carefully about what toys to keep and try to keep incoming toys to a minimum.
(I swear that they breed in the night)
I have quite a few dolls I've passed along to my kids and one play set with houses and people called 'precious places' I give to my kids as gifts for birthdays and Christmas.
That being said I have to balance the sentimental side of me with the more practical "what to keep" and space restriction realities.
We try to keep the basics: food, diplos, cars, puzzles, books, babies and dress up. The rest moves out of our home periodically.
As we move out of the "baby toy" stage, I like your idea of keeping only a few items in a bin for when babies come over (we have quite a few friends still in that stage).
We got rid of all the stuffed animals, except for Teddy (he's always been the special one). I can't get rid of the books. Some we'll keep, some we'll pass on. I tossed anything that looked like junk or was broken. Our library actually wanted old broken toys for a program, so I boxed them up and sent them on their way. We'v kept legos--universal appeal and duplos. And the sturdy wooden train set. Also, universal appeal and well-made. Not sure I want to store them, but I am not quite ready to get rid of them and they were both played with at Thanksgiving by younger cousins. I try my best to find good homes/uses for things that are a bit more sentimental. Otherwise, let it go.
My 'Keep' list is pretty similar to yours. I did keep more of my Fisher-Price Little People toys. When I had my third child F-P started making the sets with battery components. All the kids did with the newer F-P sets was activate the lights and sounds. However, they had endless creative play with the originals so I held onto them. Also, I kept a few wooden puzzles and American Girl items.
For stuffed animals, we have a "1 in, 1 out" rule--unless it was a gift from someone outside of family. My family knows the rule, and does not give stuffed animals. The girls are much less likely to take home (and even ask for!) the cute stuffed animal if they know they will have to give away one of theirs--with names and personalities! I think my 3 girls have 5-8 each, and while that's more than I prefer, it seems to be a manageable number that we can all agree on.
This has been a great lesson with many benefits. Whether its a cute puppy, a craft set, or another pair of "adorable" shoes, etc. We have to make a choice which we would rather have--because we can't have both.
I have 2 kids, 6yo and 8yo (who like to keep everything!!)
As soon as something is outgrown or not used, I like to (try to) get rid of it, often by giving it away. I HATE clutter and I HATE stuff just laying around!
If we have grandkids one day then we can buy them couple toys and craft supplies and books for when they come over. I will absolutely not keep anything "just in case" for 15-20 years. I am more an "experiences" person anyways, I like to do activities with the kid more than give physical gifts (toys).
I was a little girl in the 1970's and we had an original Fisher-Price garage back then---what fun to see it in your picture! My mom saved it and gave it to my sister when her daughters (born in 1990 and 1993) were little. My son didn't arrive till 2001 but we didn't let him play with it much. The original Little People were much smaller and seemed like total choking hazards when we looked at them as moms/adults!
Hi! Great post! I actually love the idea of giving away toys my children do not use anymore to other people. It helps a lot in making the most out of these toys plus we also limit the wastes around us. 🙂
I am so glad you mentioned stuffed animals. I am glad I'm not the only one who can't seem to get rid of them!!!!
Where do you sell your toys and make money?
Some toys you might be able to sell on eBay. Facebook Marketplace may work as well, depending on the time. You could also try children's consignment stores in your area.