By Request: What chores I assign to my kids
Yesterday, a bunch of you asked for more details about what my kids do for chores, and how I make their lists.
So, I'm here to oblige!
This year, our chore distribution is a bit different than before. Most notably, Joshua and Lisey are doing a little less work than they have in years past because they are gone sometimes at their jobs and classes.
This made chore-assigning a little bit complicated for me, but I put together a plan that seems to be working out ok so far. I gave Joshua and Lisey a chore at each meal, knowing that they'd be gone sometimes. When that happens, I just step in and cover that chore.
To make the lists, I create a document in Microsoft Word, add a simple line border, type in the chores, and print it on heavy duty paper.
The screen in Word where you add a border
Easy and quick!
If I had a laminator, this would be a great time to use it. But I don't have one, and the plain heavy duty paper holds up just fine until I make new lists the next year.
So, on to the nitty-gritty:
My kids all have chores at meals to help keep the kitchen/dining room clean, and to help with meal cleanup.
(click the photo to see a larger version)
To keep things simple, the meal chores do not switch from day to day. I assign the chores and they stay that way for a year.
Boring? Yes. But it's simple!
Since I switch the chores up each year, and since the chores vary from meal to meal (no one sweeps at all three meals), my kids learn how to do all the kitchen tasks eventually.
In addition to the meal chores, they also have another chore assigned for each day. This is general cleaning stuff that helps keep the rest of the house from sliding into a super dirty state.
(click the photo to see a larger version)
And they are all also responsible for making their beds, washing, drying, folding, and putting away their laundry, vacuuming/dusting their bedrooms, and putting away things they get out.
We don't pay our kids for these chores, as they're all just basic things that need to be done to keep the household running. We have always given them an allowance, but it's not tied to specific chores...the allowance has been more of a tool to help them learn about money management.
(I'm totally not opposed to the idea of paying for chore help...it's just not what we've chosen to do.)
However you go about it, I do think it's really important for kids to do chores. There seem to be an awful lot of teens/young adults out there who don't know how to do basic things like laundry or dishes or bathroom cleaning*, and that's not how I want my kids to be.
*To wit, when Lisey started her job at the ice cream shop, her boss asked if she knew how to clean a bathroom. Apparently there are a lot of teenage applicants who don't know how.
Plus, there is the simple fact that it's easier to run a household when everyone pitches in (at least, once the training period is over! In the beginning, it's harder to have kids help.).
And to add to that, I think it's good to teach kids to feel the weight of the messes they make. It's tough to experience that if you have someone else cleaning up after you all the time.
If you never do the dishes, you'll think nothing of grabbing a new glass every time you're thirsty.
If you never clean the mirror, you won't care if you spatter toothpaste on the mirror.
If you never do the laundry, you'll wear a shirt for half a day and then throw it into the hamper.
So, yeah. I'm a big fan of giving chores to my kids, largely because I care about them and want to do what's good for them. 😉
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I hope this answers the questions you guys had. But if you have more questions, give me a holler in the comments and I'll make sure to answer.
We handled the money with our kids the same way you do. As members of the household, they were expected to participate in its upkeep--of course, whatever was age appropriate. They did not get paid for this. However, we did give them opportunities for special chores to earn money when they asked. It worked for us.
When my daughter went to college, she couldn't believe how many kids did not know how to do their own laundry. At 18 years old, you should know and your parents should not be doing your laundry for you.
I wish my parents had been this organized growing up. It was so frustrating that we never had much direction and would just get yelled at to do something (usually whomever was closest and/or not the favorite) that needed done.
I totally agree. My childhood experience of chores was a lot like you describe yours, and I think it's part of why I'm such a slob as an adult! I just can't wrap my brain around the idea of doing them regularly "just because" - it always feels like punishment to me because that's how it was used when I was a kid.
I'm curious as to what age you started this. I have an almost 4 year old who isn't very disciplined at all. But I would love to implement something like this while she's still young.
I'm not sure exactly what age we started at, but it was definitely by age 4. We started out with easy jobs, like making beds, hanging up pjs, clearing dishes, wiping baseboards.
I think it's a great idea to start young, as you'd run into a lot of resistance if you started implementing chores out of the blue when she's 10. Learning to contribute when you're little is a wonderful thing (even though her contributions at this point won't be anything stupendous! It's more about learning skills and learning what it feels like to work and be responsible.)
My 4 year old (our sixth child) tidies the foyer/mud room. She picks up toys and puts shoes away that collect there. She also puts away her folded laundry and helps pick up trash and toys from the car (hard for adults to fit in-between the rows of our van).
Those are great points on why making chores for them is important. And your chores list looks so nice, almost like you were going to frame it!
Thank you, Kristen! I was hoping you would provide the chore list you use for your kids! Thank you for the tips on creating it with Microsoft Word, too. I'm going to tackle making one for my kids this week;).
Okay, I am going to fall into the "starting this out of the blue" category but I really could use some help so I am going to give this a go. I think I will try your chore chart. I am guilty of doing it all myself mostly because I just want to get it all done and done right. However, I am exhausted by all my duties especially now that school is back in. I think my 4 and 7 year old are plenty capable of getting some things done to ease my load I have just failed to make a plan. Thanks for ideas!
I understand that temptation because it IS harder at first to have your kids do the work. But in the long run, it'll pay off, and it'll be good for your kids. Remind yourself of that when you start out!
I'm at the point where I figure even if they do something, it's better than the nothing I'm able to do to it. For example, if I have no time to get one of the bathrooms cleaned, things aren't worse if they don't wipe the sink down perfectly . . . it's some better AND they're beginning to learn. Now, I have had kids make messes while cleaning, and then we have to get that cleaned up. . . but even after that, that space is clean (the initial objective!).
Nice post! I also wish I'd had something like this when I was growing up. I didn't learn how to do anything! Ironically, my mom worked as a manager in a hotel and when I was a teenager, she hired me as a maid. Then she *had* to train me to clean. I still didn't learn how to cook, though. Thank goodness for blogs and internet videos.
Oddly, when I asked my mom why she didn't show me how to do anything (even though she knew how to do everything) she said it was because I didn't seem interested or didn't ask. Um...I don't think kids know what they need to learn. Adults are just supposed to show them.
Parents, please make your kids do chores. No one feels sorry for someone who was spoiled, but it really is a form of neglect. Good job, Kristen.
We started teaching our son simple chores when he was 3. Even things like carrying recycle items out to the bin and taking dishes to the sink can be done at a very early age. Not only did it help him learn how to be responsible I feel like he enjoyed helping us.
We give a modest weekly allowance to help teach money management and he has daily chores. We give extra $$ for bigger things like mowing the yard, big projects and helping with a car wash now that our son is 13. From very early on, he has seen how we all help out to maintain a lovely, clean and organized home and that it's never just mom's job or dad's job to do certain things.
Thank you for this! It's so nice to see other families having chores because a lot of our friends don't do this. Your comment about it being more work in the beginning is so true too! We have a 6, 4 and 1 year old and it takes so much effort to teach and be consistent with follow-up! But your post is encouraging in that my efforts will some day be worth it.
Oh yes...your kids will be SURE to hear about those lucky kids who live at a house with no chores, and they'll be sure to tell you about them!
I just say, hey, this is how we do things at our house, and I have you do chores because a) I love you and I want you to know how to do these jobs when you leave home and b) when you live in a house with other people, everyone needs to contribute.
My mother didn't create a list, but she let us know what chores she expected of us, and we never got any allowance, so money didn't enter the picture. She started us out very young with "pick up your pajamas off the floor", simple stuff. When we were older, she would have us help clean on weekends by saying, "Here's three chores; pick one, and 'none of the above' is not an option."
When my kids were very small, since we kept most low surfaces cleared off to toddler-proof them, I let them dust the cleared tabletops and sweep with a tot-sized broom they'd been given. They learned to help plant and weed a garden with their dad. They weren't very good at any of it, but they actually enjoyed the little tasks. They got better -- and more resistant -- as they got older, but I persisted and had them doing their own laundry at ages 13 and 10, and cleaning their own rooms and bathroom that they shared. One was terrible about putting it off or trying to sneak out of it, and for her, we had to use strong incentives, such as no to a movie with friends, no to a field trip, etc., unless she did her chores. The other child, once convinced the chores weren't going away, took an attitude of "Get it done now and get it over with, then on to the fun." Since their dad and I worked outside the home, I posted lists of chores, especially in the summer when they had lots of free time. They each left for college with the basic skills to take care of themselves.
I did neglect to mention one thing -- having them help with the household chores meant I really, really missed them when they were gone. All my help grew up and moved out!
My girls are 8&12. They started folding washcloths at the age of 3. Like Kristen my girls know that all the chores they do they are not paid to do either. It is all part of living in our home and helping out. Both of them mow the grass every week. Yes I taught my 8 y/o this summer and she does a great job. They fold all the laundry,keep the kitchen picked up,empty and load the dishwasher. They vacuum the entire house and keep their rooms cleaned. B/c we are a small family I only do wash once a week on the weekends. I do each girls laundry separate so it is all together when coming out of the dryer and they just fold it and put it away. It makes things so simple. We have a small home and we really only need to clean on the weekends as we try to keep things picked up during the week. Over the last 2-3 years I have strived to make things super simple and strip off all the things that we were once doing to simplify. This fall for the first time in many years things will be much quieter as we are not dancing anymore. We feel like we have our lives back and now we are able to focus on more important things.
Kristen, I can feel the love and organization and positive learning in your household. You are a great mom! Your kids must be awesome.
We did things a little differently but it worked for us. As toddlers I always had them help me pick up their toys, we would sing a little song as we did. Later on each one had a night of kitchen helper. On weekends we divided up the chores & all 4 of us cleaned house Daily they were responsible for their own stuff to be kept clean.They took turns going shopping to help me with groceries. They could pick out the cereal ( within reason & lack of sugar), cookies & ice cream.Plus thru leaned how to shop. They did their own laundry starting in their early teens.
All 3 became self sufficient adults so I am a happy camper
I love this! We don't have kiddos yet, but I'm already trying to figure out how to tackle chore dilemmas. I was a bit of a spoiled kid, and I definitely think having the daily routine of chores keeps some of a 'tude away. 😉
Thank you :).
Totally loved this post today! My oldest will be 3 in a couple of weeks and already does little chores (putting his dish in the sink, putting clothes & napkins in hamper). I love how you've broken the chores down into manageable pieces - like cleaning up after meals....It's given me great ideas on how to manage the boys' chores in the future. Thank you so much for the über-helpful post!!
I laughed when I read about college kids not knowing how to do laundry. When we were looking at different universities, at one stop, this one girl's only question about dorms was about sorting her laundry. My daughter said she could do everyone's and charge a fortune.
We did chores because we were part of the family. We got allowances because we were part of the family. This included Mom & Dad. After all, they were part of the family. It's just as good for adults as it for for kids to have their own money to spend or save as they choose.
An old boss of mine sent his daughter to college without any knowledge of doing laundry, cooking without a microwave and no idea of how to balance a checking account. I asked him why he was setting her up to fail basic skills of life in her freshmen year. And he was upset when she asked later if the "maid" could be flown out to the dorm and do her laundry. The earlier that someone learns these skills, the easier it will be for them in later years.
I love how organized this is.
We kind of do the same thing, except that the charts are with pictures and stickers since the kids can't read yet.
I have a 4yo and a 6yo.
They are both in charge of :
* doing their beds
* brushing their teeth (we complete)
* do their hair in the morning (we help as needed)
* Put away their clean clothes (I make piles in front of their rooms, they fold and put away) and put the dirty ones in the washing bin
* Put away their toys (I put all in a big bin and they have to empty the bin a couple times a week)
* Feed the fish (with reminders)
* Put their stuff on the counter after meals
* Wash themselves in the bath/shower (we still help with hair washing)
* Keep their room tidy
* The oldest had to "unload" her school bag and lunch bag when she comes back from school. She also started to swipe the floor under the table, after dinner, but this stopped. I'll have to reinforce it. And she know that she's in charge of school stuff, meaning that if the teacher is asking to bring something tommorow we will tell her once (ok, maybe twice) and then it's up to her to do it right away because if she forget then it's on her.
All of this comes with (sometime multiples!) reminders, and the 4yo is better at it than the 6yo...
They do receive weekly allowance (1,00$ for the 4 yo, 1,50$ for the 6yo), but it's not tied to chores, as I don't believe in retributions for doing their parts.
I will make them totally independent before they leave our house, you can bet on it!
Thanks for sharing this! I also have many kids (5), and have struggled to find a concise but effective method of assigning chores, so this is great. One really basic question: how do you frugally wipe down bathrooms, appliances, counters, etc? Do you use a commercial cleaning spray? Vinegar? Towels or other type of cleaning cloth?
We use sponges, washcloths, and old t-shirt rags instead of paper towels.
For spray, we sometimes use a Shaklee spray from concentrate, or Method, which we get from epantry.
I totally agree with you, Kristen, "(I’m totally not opposed to the idea of paying for chore help…it’s just not what we’ve chosen to do.) Parents have different strategies on how they will discipline their kids. For me giving them allowance as a reward is fine. This will help them on how to manage their money at the same time to be responsible. I also like your idea on how you assigned the household chores for your kids.