A few thoughts on turning 40
Delayed a bit, since I turned 40 at the end of April.
Just FYI: this post is going to have nothing to do with frugality and a whole lot more to do with navel-gazing.
(Because this is my blog and I will navel-gaze if I want to!)
So if you're only here for the money-saving stuff, come back tomorrow.
I feel fine about 40.
Forty is kind of an over-the-hill age, and several people have asked me how I'm taking this milestone.
Honestly, I feel just fine about it.
I mean, my kids are almost all teenagers, I have a high school graduate, two of my kids are driving...it was starting to feel a little weird to still be in my 30s.
Plus, I keep coming back to this thought: not everyone gets to turn 40.
Forty trips around the sun are a privilege that some people don't get to have, and I'm grateful to have them.
I've been blogging for a quarter of my life.
I started my blog in 2008, when I'd just turned 30. It's so weird to think I've been typing out my thoughts here for 25% of my life!
I thought I would know more by now than I do.
You know how people write those, "40 things I learned in 40 years" sort of posts?
Well, I feel like mine would be kind of short, because the main thing I've learned in 40 years is that I know so little. And that I was wrong about a lot of things I used to be sure about.
When I was 20, I was practically bursting with confident knowledge and wisdom. (ha)
I was so sure about so many things at that age because everything seemed really black and white; everything was clear cut.
I miss some parts of that assurance, but mostly I think it's better to be a little less dogmatic; to take things more on a case-by-case basis and to acknowledge that most problems and issues are way more complicated than black and white.
I am more aware of my own failings than I used to be.
I've always been a behaver, so my faults and flaws (for instance, people-pleasing, or being overly self-reliant) are a little bit complicated to see.
My problems can kind of hide beneath the surface instead of being super obvious and I suppose that's why I see and understand more of them as I age...it's part of seeing the world in a more nuanced way.
When you are a behaver, it's easy to think that you aren't as messed up as the people whose problems are more visible. But the more I understand myself, the more I see that I'm just a messed-up person who looks tidy on the outside.
(Which is why I need Jesus just like everyone else!)
I used to think I'd be a better mom/wife than I am.
Before I got married, I was pretty sure that I was going to be The World's Most Amazing Wife™. And my confidence about my parenting was off the charts when I didn't have any kids.
Isn't it just so easy to be perfect at something before you actually have to do that thing?? 😉
I suppose one useful thing I've learned, though, is that everyone is kind of muddling through, messing some things up and doing some things really well.
But no one can possibly do this perfectly, and that does indeed include me.
(Again with the needing Jesus thing.)
I used to think I deserved a lot more credit than I really do.
Oh, man...20 year old me thought that my successes and skills had a whole heck of a lot to do with me and my choices and my self-discipline and who knows what else.
And the older I get, the more I see just how many privileges I've had that have put me where I am:
- my race
- my socio-economic status
- my stable childhood home life
- my education
- my health
- the country I live in
- the number of people in my life who love and care for me
The list could go on for a long time!
I'm looking forward to my 40s.
My twenties and thirties were mostly spent mothering (I became a mom at 21), so while there have been some changes in those years, the theme has still been four-kids-at-home mom life.
But by the time I reach a new decade milestone (God willing), my kids will be 22, 24, 27, and 29.
(Whoa. That's the first time I did that math. HOLY MOLY. I am going to have adult children.)
Anyway, the next ten years are going to be full of lots of change (like, uh, the fact that I will finish being a homeschooling mom), and while I know some of it will be bittersweet, I think it's going to be really interesting to see how my life shifts.
In my almost 19 years of mothering, a thing that's held true is this: there are good/bad and easy/hard things about every stage of parenting.
So, I have every reason to think that this upcoming stage of kids-becoming-adults will be no different and I look forward to discovering the delightful parts of this new phase of life.
(Ok, but I probably still am going to cry when my kids move out.)
And I think that concludes all of my turning-40 thoughts. Thanks for indulging me.
P.S. If your 40s are behind you, I'd love to hear about them!
No fear: the 40's are wonderful. You are wiser, more realistic, even more content than earlier. I am in my 70's and still feel about 40. 40's seem to be who we settle to define ourselves as--I still don't feel "old," just grown up and identifiably me. Hard to explain, but you will see.
Thank you for the blog I read with my morning meal before my husband awakes. I share this special alone time with you.
Life--every decade--is an adventure. We carry our past experiences with us and become better equipped all the time. (I don't remember if I used this name or middle name "Helen" other times I have written.)
I think it's amazing how many people Kristen reaches and the wide spectra her writing brings in...I am 32 and spend my morning coffee reading her blog and have since 2010 🙂
Gail, your comment makes me feel great about the future. I will be just fine with feeling like I do right now, in the 40's, as I get older. Just wanted to say your comment resonates with me and I loved it.
Aww, that's so sweet that you start your day with my blog. That means a lot to me!
I'm still two years shy of forty, but many of these I was already nodding along with. Particularly the ones about becoming more aware of personal failings and not being quite the mother I envisioned myself being. As I've aged, I've found the amount of self-knowledge I gain to be somewhat startling. The other day I was just thinking how when I married my husband, no one could see what we possibly had in common, including me sometimes. But now I see that we have many core values in common that I couldn't identify at 23 when I got married, but our differences are just as important in maintaining our marriage (i.e., his eccentric and restless personality pushes me to do things and not just stagnate, but my stability anchors our home and children, etc.)
Apparently, I've been into navel gazing lately as well. And I'm not even forty yet. 🙂
Turning 30 was horrible for me; I truly felt I was falling apart piece by piece. So old! haha
But turning 40 was good and I really like my 40's so far. Each year I'm reminded how every day, every year, is a gift. My husband paved the way for me in this--he was not expected to live past infancy, then when he did drs. said he probably wouldn't live past 20 and then to 40. So turning 40 was a big deal--he was so excited! What a great perspective--to be thrilled that God has allowed you to live!
As you mentioned, I too have always been a "behaver"/people-pleaser. I've gained so much freedom in this. I find myself less concerned with what other people are doing/thinking/saying and more focused on the life I want to live.
I told a young coworker friend a while back that if I've learned anything in 40+ years, it's that people aren't thinking or talking about you as much as you think they are. And if they are, then they need to get a life. LOL
Happy birthday, Frugal Girl!
Not to be confused with the all-knowing teen and early twenty years, you are now old enough to know what's what and young enough to do something about it.
Don't waste time lamenting the past to the detriment of enjoying the present.
Having lost a mother when she was 30, and a brother when he was 28 - not everyone gets to turn 40 is so true! I've been having a lot of talks with my "baby" lately about how I didn't have a mama when I was her age (4). Luckily my dad remarried a short while later, but seeing how much she needs her mama, makes me so, so grateful I am here and in good health (41 - so I can't share much more wisdom). Your list seems to be spot on for my thoughts too!
I just turned 38 (the day after you turned 40), and I agree with so much of what you said. Especially about becoming so aware of my own shortcomings/failings/problems. Years ago it seemed I could only see these issues with other people. Now I clearly see them in myself. Getting older certainly has a way of humbling us. Which I’m happy for because I feel it’s made me a much more understanding person.
As I near 60 I realize I see more things that I should have seen my mom see. She has been gone for 10 years. Until my kids flew the coop I didn't realize how difficult it was/is. She had 6 leave and as we age and are all taking care of dad at 96 she would be super proud of us.
That being said when my oldest went off to college only an hour drive away every time he came home I would cry for days when he left. When my 2nd left to live 1000 miles away I cried non stop. Thankful for Facetime.
Happy birthday, Kristen! These are some really deep thoughts here. I appreciate you sharing your experience with us.
I'm about to turn 31 soon, and it just feels really weird for me. Mr. FAF and I don't celebrate our birthdays, so I'm really not expecting any gifts. I just want to reflect on what I've done in my 20s to live a better life onwards.
Can I ask why you don't celebrate birthdays? I don't mean that as a snarky or mean or anything negative comment, I'm genuinely just curious, because my birthday is my favorite day of the year.
I'm curious too.evergreen at almost 55 (May 28), I really enjoy my birthday! To me, it feels like a great day to celebrate!
I am almost 18 years out from turning 40 and still have both the youngest (19) AND the oldest (28) here at our house! The changes seem like they come much much more slowly after the explosive growth of the 30's and 40's... I don't have any great advice to give. Everyone walks this path for themselves. Sounds to me like you have your head wrapped around it fairly well.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on 40. I'm turning 40 at the end of the year, but unlike you, my kid are still littles (5 and 2) so a bit of a different stage in life. I'm not sure yet what I feel about turning 40. When I was a kid, 40 was a-n-c-i-e-n-t, but now, apart from physically feeling old (but a lot of that has to do with pregnancy complications, not necessarily age), I don't feel anywhere near ancient. It probably helps that a lot of my friends are already in their 40s so I still feel like the youngest. Same as you, I feel fortunate that I'm fortunate to be able to turn 40, as so many people don't.
I know! I thought 40 was SO OLD.
Of course, now I think that 40 is still nice and young. 😉
Thank you for writing this post. I'm 58 and pointing out how privileged my life has been is something I need to hear these days. I grew up on a farm, went to college, married my college sweetheart, we moved around the country as yuppies. Then divorce and time to start my life over. Fortunately I was found by my "soul mate". We moved back to the Century Family farm, the place I said I'd left behind and would never live here again. Caring for an elderly parent, a husband who recently had spine surgery, working a part time job off the farm & farm life. Fortunately? I have no children, never wanted to be a mom, to add to the stress. I love my life, stress and all and blessed to be here. Thank you for making me realize how lucky I am!
I had my first child a week before I turned 40 and my second three years later, on my own - I am a Single mother by Choice. My oldest is now 18 and finishing high school and I am 58, so my forties were very different than yours will be. I spent my 20s in graduate school getting a PhD and my 30s establishing an academic career. I loved my 40's and never felt old. I don't think I actually thought about the age at all, and 50 was similar. I am however, really thinking about 60, which will be coming soon. I wonder if thinking about age at all is something that has more to do where you are in life than actualy age, you and I are in very similar family situations- kids growing up and leaving home- despite the fact that we are almost 20 years apart in age!
P.S. My dad died when he was 65, and I was 30. I actually remeber thinking he was old - believe me, at 58, 65 no longer seems old!
I think you're right...it's not just my age that has me reflecting. It also has a lot ot do with this stage of life, which is full of big changes!
Kindred soul here, Monica. I became a mom four months before my fortieth birthday. Like you, I loved my forties and never felt old. Now, however, there are mornings my shoulders make sounds like someone deboning a chicken!
My mom was among the first to turn 40 among mothers of my fourth-grade classmates. This year my oldest, a fourth-quarter, realized his mom was old at 42. Struck me as funny.
I like this stage so far and have no wisdom to impart. I'm fortunate, as you also seem to be, to be following generations of wise women. I hope I always remember to think: What would Mom say? What would Grandma do? Because despite the differences, there's always something there.
And always Jesus for the good days and for the failures.
*grader
I found 40 freeing. I no longer care about many of the things I cared a lot about in my 20s and 30s, things that don't really matter in the end. My husband and I are raising our nephew, and do not have any children of our own. People stopped asking me if we were going to have children when I was about 40. That was nice, since I always thought it was a nosy question. Nephew just turned 18, is a junior in high school and I will be 44 next month. I feel like I'm in a good place.
Happy birthday, and best wishes for many more to come!
I will be 48 on Saturday - so not quite done with my 40's but getting close!
My kids are 27, 20, and 18 and we just graduated our last home-school child last weekend.
Having adult kids is awesome and terrifying and exciting and still hard in some ways but easy in others (yay jobs/cars/plans!)
Enjoy every moment - Jesus carries you through all of it!
Blessings on the journey!
Kristen, you are such a beautiful person! I have been reading your blog since my oldest was born eight years ago. I am at a little different stage than you. I am one year younger, but my kids are eight and five (as of tomorrow). My hope is that you continue to keep blogging for a very long time. I really look forward to reading all your posts. Glad you were able to have a Happy Birthday:)
Speaking from the other side of 40 here.... I'm 62.
My 40's were years of huge changes. I had a 14 year old and 11 year old when I turned 40, but before I turned 50, I had an empty nest as they went off to college then homes of their own. I was one who didn't cry when they left. Not because I didn't miss them -- I did, although I was lucky in that neither moved more than an hour away -- but because being an empty nester felt kind of freeing to this introvert who likes her space. I also had always remembered they would leave at some point, and raised them with an eye to them leaving successfully and me handling it well. That's just the way I dealt with it, I guess. At the same time, my husband had started working out of town and was only home on weekends and holidays, so my nest was truly empty. I had a lot of freedom in my schedule, except for my job, of course.
I learned the joys of having adult-to-adult relationships with my kids. It's fun, really!
We finally were more financially stable and were able to get a house, after decades of living in a mobile home. Hallelujah!
I grew spiritually, thank heavens. I needed that.
I had more energy than I thought I would -- I had also previously thought 40 was ancient.
I lost my parents together when I was 42. That had a huge impact on me. I really thought hard about my own failings, about mortality and the hereafter. I realized I couldn't call my mom or dad to answer my questions or share my problems anymore. I had to put on my big girl pants and be the adult without backup. I was now part of the "matriarch" generation, since my last grandparent had died when I was in my 20's. It was a real shift in thinking.
My 40's were challenging and growth-filled. My fifties brought more changes -- including grandkids, yay! Life just keeps changing, and deep down inside, I still feel like I'm 25 and just learning about life.
I'm an introvert too, which I think will probably be helpful as I enter the empty nest years.
I turn 50 this summer, and so resonate with JD, being an introvert myself. Kristen, I feel like I would have written your exact thoughts a decade ago, and I would say the thoughts are the same 10 years later, just even more pronounced. Like JD, empty nesting was not that difficult for us. We were very intentional about raising our 4 to be self sufficient (I see the same with you, Kristen), and while 2 are still in college, I think overall we have accomplished that. I love them all so very much, and while I sometimes envy these child/mom relationships that facetime/text 20 times a day, or cry everytime their adult child leaves, it's just not us. We have a family facetime session once a week and chat in between when needed, and that works for us. At this stage (kids are 24, 23, 21 and 19), all our children love the Lord and serve Him in some capacity; as a Christian, there truly is no greater joy! I'll be a grandma this summer and look forward to this new stage. We have always been extremely frugal, which means that we are completely debt free, have not had to take out student loans for our kids, and are able to do some traveling now. We work at International Christian School in Hong Kong (for the last 6 years), but spend the summers in Maine, where we own a home and small log cabin on the lake, and life is good. Has it always been easy?? No! 10 years ago, a car wreck put all 4 kids in ICU on Christmas Eve, one in critical condition...3 with multiple surgeries. (Long story, but God is good) 2 summers later, my mom died of cancer and we lost our family home (home I grew up in) to fire, and with it all the family photos and physical memories. I could go on...the point is, we've had our share of heartache, and yet, when you fix your eyes on things above, and remember how fleeting this life is, we are indeed a blessed people. All the best Kristen!
Happy birthday, Kristen. Turning 30 was difficult for me, I suspect mostly due to my being pregnant at the time. Fast forward, 4 kids and a divorce later, life finds me having taken early retirement at 53 due to health, buying and refurbishing my modest retirement home with 2 of my 4 living at home still (eldest who is paying off school loans, and just bought her own business; and one of the youngest, a twin, with special needs). The 40's was a time for self discovering and making choices to direct my life. What little consideration I would have accepted for other's opinions/expectations,I left at the door step. Now 55, I have a strong sense of self and what matters to me, what makes me happy. Both my 40's and now my 50's are personally exciting times. Enjoy!
Over the hill at 40? No way! Of course, maybe it's because you have older teens already, and at 40, I had a 6 year old. So 40 seemed--and still does 6 years later--young still.
Well... my 40's are ahead of me, not behind, but I still want to write about it, aha!
I'm 37 years old (and a half!). I've always said that getting older is a privilege, the alternative not being very interesting...! My dad passed away in his mid-forties, so I am acutely aware of how fragile life is and I am trying to make the best of it right here, right now!
I am happy to be growing old, I am happy to add (healthy) years to my life. I will be turning 40 in 26 months, woah! I recently started to really take better care of myself, sleeping more, losing weight, doing therapy, etc. I will enter this next chapter of my life in the best shape I can be, emotionally, mentally and physically. I have 2 girls (now 6 and 8) that are looking up to mommy and I want to show them that getting older is a gift, not a curse! 🙂
So let's bring on the next 40 years!
Happy Birthday! I left my 40s last year. Those years were mostly good but the physical changes took some getting used to. Needing reading glasses was a frustration at first until I remembered I am lucky to have my eyesight and to be able to read. A few aches and pains that come with age aren't fun either but I am fully mobile and my mind is still sharp.
The hardest thing was the one thing few people talk about and yet we really should...perimenopause. Wheeeeeeee, doggie! ; ) The hormonal changes sneak up on you and you think you are losing your mind until your friends mention they are experiencing the same things. My advice? Find a good, open-minded doctor who is willing to work with you, not simply throw pills at you. I am arming myself with knowledge from reliable sources and trying to take the best care of my health to minimize the impact of these changes. So far, so good.
The best part of getting older? You care less and less what others think of you and become more true to yourself and comfortable in your own skin. Wise old Crone years...here I come!
Ah, yes. I am totally not looking forward to that hormonal roller coaster.
Not every woman experiences a horrible menopause. I don't know if it is a genetic thing, but both my sister and I had no hot flashes, no mood swings, no nothing except realizing we could not feast on carbs anymore without it showing up on the scale with a vengeance. I just realized one day that I had not had a period in about three months and never did have one again.
I really, really hope I have an experience like you!
For many, that whole thing is a breeze and a relief!
My mother was 38 when she had me, so by the time I became aware of age she was well into her 40s and she never seemed old to me. She was the youngest of her generation and I am the youngest of mine. Everyone was older, and the age of anyone never seemed to register with me. I hate the phrase "over the hill". There is no hill -- you continue on the path of life, growing and learning. I get annoyed, when shopping for birthday cards, that so many refer to age and always in a negative way. We should just be thankful to have enjoyed another year and to look forward to the next. I am in my mid 70s and look forward to many more. If other people insist on there being a hill, then I am still heading up it.
I really love your perspective, Alison! My great-grandmother is one of my role models in this regard. She was in her 90s when she borrowed my German textbook from college so she could learn some of the language of her ancestors. She lived to be 97 and was sharp and smart and beautiful and loving all of those years.
What a lovely way to describe someone
Navel gazing...I like it! Anyway...no worries allowed about turning 40 and beyond...Im 45 and let me tell you...in my 20s I worked 3 jobs just to survive, went through alot of struggles, and got married to a wonderful guy, in my 30s I became a mother, got my degree, worked my butt off and got slammed financially, dusted myself off and went into my 40s a little battered and sore from my trials but set forth on a new career path, celebrated our 20th anniversary, and hopped on the teenage girl merry go round....what a ride!
Anyway...the more time that goes by the fiercer you become...wiser to...and your more centered...that's my experience at any rate
Oh...and just wanted to say...yeah...babies growing up is bittersweet...I miss that little squish...but I cant help but be in awe of the young woman my daughters becoming...im sure you feel the same about your kiddos
Hugs...
Happy 40th Birthday, Kristen!
I'm 34, and pretty darn content at this age. My 20's were hard, my 30's have been easier (due to life changes), and I look and feel my age and like it.
But oh, that world's most amazing wife/mother? Yeah, I'm SO not that! I have a hard time because a great housewife, but fortunately my husband loves me for reasons other than a sparkling clean house all the time.
Congrats on hitting such a great milestone! 🙂
My 40s were not that great - i was going thru menopause - may yours be better 🙂
Speaking from the great wisdom of 53 here--yes, I'm that old, and no, I'm not terribly wise. I'm not sure how to put this, but being an introspective introvert (INFJ on the Meyer Briggs), I think I keep re-learning the same stuff, but I go deeper each time. For instance, in my 20s and 30s I learned a lot about setting personal boundaries as well as when to speak up and when to be a listener. In my 40s and 50s, I'm again learning this but in different contexts. I think God spiritually develops us to the extent we are capable of learning--a 5-year-old's ability to clean a room is different than a 12-year-old's, and in the same way, different life challenges will "poke" at areas in your life you thought you had worked through. The two biggest areas of challenge for me which weren't present in my younger years are (1) health (not just peri-menopause) and (2) aging parents. With that being said, I loved my 40s and am enjoying my 50s. I'm a bit odd as I had my kids at 38 and 40 so I was also learning parenting skills in my 40s (there are benefits to that--I was wayyy more patient than I would have been earlier in my life ... but fatigue was a big reality). Anyway, each day is a gift and I'm hoping you are enjoying your life in every stage.
I turned 37 this year, so I am rushing towards my 40s. I am also excited by the prospect. I'm about a decade behind you parenting, so my husband and I are looking forward to our 40s as being that time when our careers are built (which doesn't mean that we stop working and striving, but at least we hopefully won't be starting businesses from scratch!), our house is paid off, and all the kids are out of diapers and temper tantrums (mostly) and we can enjoy life a little more.
All the best to you in your journey. Hope to still be reading the blog in another decade!
Congrats on your birthday! Every decade is a life changer.
I'll be 50. Kids are 20 and 18. I'm not sure what to say other than I'm glad school is over. Youngest will start college but refuses to drive, so I hope he is able to navigate the transportation system.
DH and I have health issues now. We work out a lot to try to combat that. If you're healthy, then you're wealthy and that means a lot. Best of luck to you!
You are so right, not everyone reaches the age of 40 or 40+. My dad died at 33
and my mom died at 41. I think I subconsciously breathed a sigh of relief when
I passed those milestones.
My 40's and 50's were years of new adventures. I went back to school and earned
my BA and MSW. My older daughter and I graduated the same day- she with her BA
and I with my Masters.
In my 50's I started my second or third career after being a stay at home mom, community
volunteer, etc and worked as a medical social worker. I loved the crazy stress-filled work,
and now in retirement I appreciate my financial saving for retirement.
There are benefits, difficulties, and things to endure, appreciate, and enjoy with each stage of life. When we are young 40's sound so old. Now in my 70's, 40 seems so young! Happy Birthday! Enjoy your next decade!!
Happy Birthday! I loved reading your musings. I'm 44 and my oldest just moved out at 23 last week. It feels devastating and so final. Like I don't have time to fix the mistakes I made with him now! But reading your post makes me realize if I view every day as a gift, then I can gift him with having a happy, healthy mom to support him... even if he's not at home!
Hugs!
You had him young, like I did with Joshua! I'll be 44 when Joshua turns 23.
Well, let's see. I had my mid-life crisis when I turned 35. I remember the night before my birthday I was working late, and it seemed terribly unfair that I was wasting the last day of my youth filling out insurance forms. Then as I was filling out date of birth vs. the day's date, I somehow realized that I wasn't actually turning 35, I was turning 34! Did I mention math isn't exactly my strong suit? Anyhow, I was so relieved! It was like I'd been granted a stay of execution or something - a whole extra year! Of course, it was also ridiculous. And that was the point at which I realized that it was all just a number, and not something to worry about.
So I'm now 51, and my forties totally rocked! That was the decade that I discovered real bravery. I quit my job to peruse simple living the same year I turned 40, and I haven't looked back since. In that time I've done a whole pile of things that I never would have thought I could do. I opened my own business, I took up cycling, I learned to do lots of work (like fixing things around the house) that I used to think you had to hire a big man to do, I paid off my mortgage, I learned several computer programming languages, and took up photography. But more than any of that, I learned to stop trying to be important, and to stop trying to prove that I'm OK. When it comes right down to it, everyone is just as messed up as I am, so there's no point in trying to live up to the standards of people who are really just trying to outrun their own personal demons.
BTW, I love your old photos... here's hoping the coming decades are full of as many blessings or more than the ones that came before.
I'm 46 and have had a lot of the same insights that you have had (minus the blogging and the mothering) - especially the awareness of how lucky I am to have lived this long, and the privileges I have enjoyed, and that the older I get the less I know. Man, I remember when I knew EVERYTHING! 🙂 Now that I know less, I am much more tolerant and compassionate. I live more in the moment. I am more comfortable in my own skin. I am happier and OK with a lot of things I used to worry myself to death over. Which isn't to say that life is perfect, its just that I can see the big picture better, having had a longer time to look at it.
Happy milestone birthday, Kristen!!
I appreciate your comments an im in total agreement. We should be thankful for being given the opportunity to get to 40 (or more). Like you said, many people never get that opportunity.
I'm 51. Not nearly as far along in the parenting journey as you (my son is 12). However I'll say that there's joy in every stage of parenting and life in general.
In many ways I'm a happier, more content person with each passing decade. I'm more comfortable with who I am, happy with decisions I've made (big and small), a better person all around. I only care about what God, and those I love most) think of me.
I'm comfortable speaking out when someone is wronged (previously a timid person), I try to give without any expectation in return, and I really try to treat all others with kindness and compassion.
I don't always comment often, but want to thank you again for the beautiful space that you've created on this blog. The internet would be a slightly darker place without you!
Kim from Philadelphia
Happy birthday. 40 is FAR FAR from over the hill, believe me. I'm in my 40's and healthier, faster, and fitter than ever. And I have more money than ever. It's an awesome decade!
Well, that's good to hear! Bring on the 40s!
I am slowly coming to the end of my 40s. In fact the dentist and I were just speaking about this. We both agreed that the decade of 30 was very fast... in fact I remember turning 40 thinking where did 30 go... felt like yesterday. Now 40 seems a bit slower... maybe bc my son is older and needs less of my time or our interactions are more adult like. I think you will like your 40s..... it has been quite fun for me!
I'm in my mid 30s with a 2 year old. I'm now just finally starting to feel old. I feel lucky that I got to spend my 20s being frugal and doing youthful stuff (though I'm a behaver as well, so it wasn't all that exciting.)
I get you on needing Jesus, though. I'm pretty hard on myself most of the time (particularly with parenting) so even though I try to put up a brave front, I'm crying on the inside a lot.
I'm 43 and enjoying my 40s so far. So much of what you wrote about self-awareness and privilege resonates with me. Thanks!
I have a few things I do every single morning. One is, check your blog. It’s the best blog out there. I’m 43. It’s SO much better than my thirties. By the watch you look 30!!
Loved reading all the navel gazing. You really have some wonderful words of wisdom to share.
"...the main thing I’ve learned in 40 years is that I know so little. "
Isn't that the truth? I find that every year that goes by, I learn so much, yet discover how much more I don't know or understand. And that's ok. Part of that is discovering my own depravity and deep need for Jesus (just like you said), his grace and forgiveness. So thankful for Him!
Thanks for spending 25 percent of your life typing away encouraging others in being good stewards of their money, resources and time. I know I've appreciated reading your blog over the years before I had children and now that I do have children, I've gone back to reread a blog or two that I remember you writing that is now more relevant to my stage of life.
So, Happy Birthday and bless you as you enter a new exciting decade!!
You are wise beyond your years. I think you have figured out more than I have in my 46 years. (I still don't know what I want to do when I grow up!) I really appreciate your thoughtfulness.