Lifestyle Inflation (sort of)
For a lot of our marriage, Mr. FG and I have had to live frugally just to avoid going into debt...our frugality wasn't really getting us ahead or leaving us with much money left over at the end of the month.* And during those years, we always promised ourselves that if we ever got to a point where we had more money, we wouldn't just increase our spending along with our income.
*to be clear, I'm not complaining...just stating the facts, ma'am! I've never been one to feel miserable due to a lack of money, at least not the sort of lack that we've had. I've never been starving or homeless or clothes-less, and that's certainly reason to be content.
Since Mr. FG made the career switch from warehousing to the IT field, our household income has increased. However, we have not inflated our lifestyles proportionally and so we are able to pay our bills, work on our savings goals, and have some money left over.
Oh, happy day!
And the lovely thing is, because we are committed to living on less, any increase in income does feel like an increase. It doesn't just get absorbed into the money pile, and it doesn't just fly away mysteriously (which is the kind of thing that happens when lifestyle inflation is going on).
Some of our extra money is going to be funneled into our kids' college fund and into our retirement fund, and we're also going to increase our monthly donation to Living Water. In addition, Mr. FG and I have added two expenditures to our budget over the last several months. We're not throwing our frugality out the window or going hog-wild, but we felt like these budget additions would be a wise use of our money.
Why am I sharing this? I don't know, actually! I guess I just like to be open about money. 😉
We joined a gym.
Mr. FG used to be very physically active when he worked in a warehouse, but IT is sort of a sedentary field. And when Mr. FG's schedule used to be less brutal, I used to go for walks in our neighborhood before he left for work. That hasn't worked out since he got this job, though, so I'm less aerobically fit than I'd like to be.
And for those reasons, we joined a gym this past fall. It's right on the way home from Mr. FG's work, and is only about 10 minutes from our house, so working out is pretty convenient for both of us.
We didn't join the most expensive gym in the area (the one very near our house wanted something like $60/month per person!) and we've worked it out so that we're not having to pay for childcare (we alternate days and times with each other so that the kids can stay at home with one of us).
Mr. FG's membership is $35/month, and since mine is added on to his (he started first and then I decided to join), it's $19.99. So, our gym membership is using $55 of our surplus money.
Thus far, it's working out pretty well for us. Mr. FG doesn't even really miss the time he now spends at the gym, and I've managed to carve out time to go work out 3 times a week.
Of course, we didn't join the gym so that we can look like a bodybuilder/supermodel couple...we joined so that we can keep our bodies healthy and well, and that's why we felt like it was an appropriate budget addition.
I personally much prefer to work out outdoors. It's free and I loved my early-morning walks, when the world was quiet and I watched the sun rise over the misty water.
Cue wistful sigh.
But, until Mr. FG's schedule changes or until my kids are old enough to stay home by themselves (that day is coming in not SO long!), I've reconciled myself to the fact that the gym is probably the best option for me and I am grateful that it IS an option.
We added a date night budget category.
For a long time, we haven't had an eating-out budget category because we couldn't afford to. So, date nights for us have been few and far between. Much as we adore date nights, the cost of eating out plus the cost of hiring a babysitter is sort of off-putting.
To give us some time to eat and talk together (and also to give me a night off of cooking...yay!), we decided to set aside Friday evenings for an in-home date night.
I make something easy for the kids to eat (leftovers, or spaghetti, or a simple sandwich, cheese, and fruit kind of meal), and then they go and do something fun in Joshua's room (we let them watch a movie or play Wii games) while Mr. FG and I eat a takeout meal all by ourselves.
This gives us time to talk in peace but eliminates babysitting expenses and reduces the cost of restaurant food (takeout is usually cheaper than eating in). We've budgeted $20/week for this purpose, and that's usually more than enough to cover our meal.
We're really happy with how this plan is working out. The kids are happy because they get to go be couch potatoes for an hour or two, Mr. FG and I really enjoy having some alone time, and the cost of this is so much lower than a babysitter/restaurant meal date night.
Staying Frugal
I don't anticipate that we'll be amending our budget spending categories much more than this because we are quite committed to avoiding crazy lifestyle inflation. Plus, I can't honestly say that I feel like we need to spend more money than we currently do...though we live on less money than a lot of people do, I really don't feel deprived.
We eat good food, we have plenty of clothes, we have cars that work, we have yearly vacations, and on top of that stuff, we now have a gym membership and a weekly takeout date night! I actually feel kind of rich, though not everyone looking at our budget from the outside would categorize us as such.
Compared to the days when we lived in our $400/month basement apartment, and Mr. FG's paychecks were $321 a week, though, life feels pretty darn luxurious, and I am more than content.
How do you handle lifestyle inflation temptation? And do you ever mindfully increase your spending like we've done?
Today's 365 post: Story Papers
When I was married and we had 2 incomes, if I got a raise, we would just increase our savings or I would increase my 401K contribution. Now that I'm a single mom, I've increased my debt load and have gone 4 years without a raise. My employer "MAY" (fingers crossed) give increases this year and I intend to put the full amount toward paying down the debt. Also, my daughter just got her braces off so I am applying that monthly co-pay that is now a no-pay toward debt reduction as well. I've only ever tried budgeting for short periods of time (hence the debt load) so I've never actually been thoughtful like you describe. I tend to pay the bills and work with what's left or use credit. That has been improving but I've still got a pretty big debt to go.
I recently acquired a second part-time job, which resulted in almost doubling my income. I'm still focused on paying back my savings account from when I was underemployed, but I've also started splashing out in a way I never expected.
One thing that I tend to skimp on when there's little-to-no money is taking care of myself. I'm a runner, so I always do that, but I tend to stretch out my haircuts past the point of looking good and only buy clothes I absolutely need for work. Since I started earning more, I've started getting my haircut more often, and bought a few more "downtime outfits" i.e. non-work clothes that aren't totally sloppy and that I would go run errands in.
Prior to getting the second job, I had a tendency to just sit around the house in pjs wallowing a bit, mostly because I was so bored. Now I put on clothes, even if I'm just going to change for work later, and actively enjoy my leisure time. I find I'm getting more done and feeling generally more productive.
Sounds like you've added two new expenditures that will improve your quality of life - that's my kind of spending!
I'm not sure what health insurance plan you have, but I know BCBS will reimburse up to $150/year in gym membership fees. It's a really simple form to complete, and you send it in with a statement of what you've paid. Then they mail you a check, no strings attached. You have to be a member at the gym for 4 months in a calendar year before you are eligible to get the reimbursement, but if you remember to do it it's a great deal! I would imagine other health insurance plans offer this sort of thing as well - it's worth checking out!
They WILL? I will have to look into that - thanks, Erika!
Mine does, at least! It's through BCBS of Massachusetts. I can't speak for every BCBS plan, but it's definately worth checking. They don't seem to advertise it much, which is unfortunate.
Ok, update 🙂 I did a little searching around to different BCBS sites, and it seems like the $150 is not available in every state. However, most plans have some kind of fitness rewards program, either in the form of a monthly credit for exercising (having the gym check off that you worked out), a reimbursement of sorts, or a discounted membership.
I would definately suggest checking with health insurance providers to see about any kind of fitness benefit they offer. Can't hurt!
Sigh, I can't find anything for BCBS of Illinois. Oh well, I still think my gym membership is worth it.
It looks like BCBSIL has a contract with a particular gym, which is totally not convenient for me (unlike the gym in my building, which totally is).
I know most of the ones near me (NY) do this, too.
I forgot to mention, my gym membership is a $99 for the year special from Planet Fitness, so it ends up being free after the reimbursement! I think gyms are finally catching on that some people don't want to spend a fortune for lots of bells and whistles - just a place to exercise!
Yay! What great uses of an increase in income! I love it when people join gyms and then USE their memberships! Three times a week is plenty to stay healthy. I actually prefer going to a gym (because, um, sometimes I trip and fall when plain old walking outside) to other forms of exercise.
Lifetsyle inflation temptation - oh, yes, I'm very guilty of this. In 2010, we were about 4K over budget, but then we realized all of that was in the form of increased charity giving, so we feel okay about that. I realize that sounds like a heck of a lot of money, but... it's .. not, to us. Money's still just a tool, and if I'm making more, I WANT to give more.
The other things that we've opted for are more organic options, soy and almond milk instead of mostly cow milk, fair trade coffee, and nail salon visits for me. The nail salon visits were a conscious joint decision, and they prevent me from picking my nails and cuticles (and then using lots of bandaids and neosporin because they got infected).
And we save my husband's entire school stipend, so I think we're doing just fine. 🙂
Sometimes gyms get a bad rap in the frugal community, but if you use it and you can afford it then I think it is great. We have a family membership to the ymca which is nice because babysitting is part of the membership and my kids love to go play in the room.
Being self-employed, our income can fluctuate so we tend to be cautious no matter what our income is at the time.
i certainly agree that a certain amt of lifestyle inflation is not only ok, but necessary. Spending in areas that are important to you is so important and makes all the other "sacrifices" worth it. Some of my friends think it's strange that despite being pretty careful with my money, I have a personal trainer. To me, it's money well spent because I enjoy the sessions and feel fantastic when I keep up a rigorous exercise regimen. I am glad to hear that health and your relationship are high on your list of priorities/spending!
Exactly. It's about spending where it's important to you and then saving on stuff that's not as important.
I have been finding lately that even when my income rises - active or passive income - my cost of living also rises at a higher rate. Saving is still my first priority and, in order to keep from reducing my savings contributions, I am having to cut back more and more. Of course, now it all feels like a habit so I doubt I'd ever be able to just 'blow money wastefully' again.
As our family was growing, we found ourselves in that state too...the raises at the warehouse weren't really enough to keep up with the cost of living.
Hang in there! Hopefully things will change for you.
Yay for the date night category! My husband and I spend $100 a month on various date night activities. My oldest can babysit for us, so going out is a fun and seemingly new way to build and reacquaint with one another. Other times we'll buy a large tenderloin and my husband cuts it into steaks. We then have a late date night at home after the kids go to bed. He grills the steaks and we crack open a bottle of wine and Voila! All this to say, a date night category is a great way to spend some of the surplus.
Sounds like a great place to be Kristen! We're still in the kind of upside down part 🙂 But it is improving and your blog has helped me a lot. I know we waste less food now than before - even if I don't blog about it. Because of you, I am much more conscious of our food usage and waste.
I think my hubbys business is going to take off this summer, so I appreciate your perspective here. Our intention is not to increase our lifestyle with our income, but to take care of repairs that need to be done and honor God with our finances and have some fun with the kids. You bless me everyday girl! Thanks.
I bet in 3 months you will forget about the gym or make excuses that you can't go. Why not save some money and have a home gym. I bought 3 pieces of equipment and there's no better feeling than going from couch to work out on the next room.
Good luck...
HS
Mr. FG has actually been a member at the gym since August, now that I think about it. And I joined at the beginning of November, so I'm working on month 3 now. 🙂
If we had lots of space, I'd definitely consider getting equipment to use here at home, but as it is, 6 people and a not-enormous house don't make that feasible.
There are those of us who just flat won't work out with home gym equipment. I prefer the atmosphere of gym, actually - when we can afford it. There is so much MORE equipment, and I simply adore group fitness classes. There's so much more motivation, IMO.
I'm one of those people, Shana! If I'm in the house trying to work out I keep thinking of chores that need to be done, and never seem to get in a good workout. 5 minutes on the elliptical and I jump off to put clothes in the dryer. Another 5 minutes and I have to check to make sure I started the dishwasher, paid the electric bill, packed my husband's lunch, etc.
When I first became a SAHM (over 3 years ago) money was extremely tight and that's when I started looking for ways to save money and be frugal. Since that time, we have been blessed to have increases in paychecks and bonuses for my husband, but we use what we need and the rest goes to paying off debt. We went from trying to afford the month's mortgage payment to paying off $30,000 in student/vehicle loans! Now we are saving extra money to buy a SUV (for our growing family) with cash. I think it's a good idea to mindfully increase spending, but right now we are willing to put off things that aren't a necessity to get rid of debt. Some day soon we will have money to do what we want to do (mindfully of course)!
I avoid lifestyle inflation by forgetting the raises. Seriously! The last time I tracked my spending in detail I couldn't figure out why I was saving more.
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I think investing in a gym membership is an excellent idea. You found a very inexpensive one by my city-slicker standards, which is great. Can you drop the membership when you choose? Can you put it on hold for a month, which would let you not pay if you know you're not going to be able to go (such as during vacation)?
For myself I consider exercising to be an investment in my physical and mental health. My family is long-lived and I do not want to be decrepit when I'm 90 - no do I want to a premature death from cancer, the other familial risk. I get fewer colds and use fewer sick days, I sleep better, sometimes I'm even more efficient at work because I want to carve out exercise time (my employer's view is as long as I get my work done). It's a struggle to maintain a schedule that works with my constantly changing obligations, my philosophy is "Something is better than nothing, now pick yourself up and get going again."
@HS - they joined the gym in the Fall so it's been almost three months already. It's said that it takes 3 weeks to 3 months to develop a habit, the FGs' are well on the way.
Re your kids: how old is old enough for them to stay at home alone? If you put Joshua in charge would Sonia take over anyway? I don't remember you ever mentioning a cell phone so I guess a kid calling you while you're walking isn't an option.
What sort of exercise do you and Mr. FG do at the gym?
I need to do more research into the laws in our area...I think maybe 12 to watch siblings? Joshua will be 12 this year, but of course, the law and what we feel comfy with may be two different things! lol Sonia IS a handful. 😉
But even so, I think in the next 2 years or so, I'll be able to start leaving them at home for at least short periods of time.
Mr. FG and I have been doing a variety of things...for aerobic exercise, we do treadmill, the bike, or the elliptical. And then we've both been using the weight machines. I still feel fairly clueless about them, but I had a free assessment meeting with a trainer last week and hopefully I now have a better idea of what I'm supposed to do.
Oh my, I didn't even realize there were LAWS about how old kids have to be to stay home alone. But that's a long ways off for us. My oldest just turned 4.
I think it's great you joined a gym. I love your blog. This post especially was such an inspiration. I would love to have a gym membership. I had one that I used almost daily before having kids. I have hope that one day when my kids are older like yours I will be able to work out regularly again. 🙂
Okay. I definitely needed to read this this morning. Problem is, I like to save and skimp on spending. My husband, well he's the exact opposite. We really need to fix our driveway, it has huge ruts in it. My husband really wants a new car...he's been driving the same one for years (boo-hoo right??) I really get aggravated since I am the one who hauls the kids around everywhere and we just bought a used van because our SUV got totalled when a tree hit it. Grrrr...do you have any advice on getting your husband onboard on the frugal train?? I just can't figure him out!
I'll put this in my Q&A file!
I Praise God for your blessings Kristen. Your life is a beautiful reflection of Him in your lives.
I have been following your blog for a year now and I am glad you get to indulge a little! You have been a great inspiration for me and though we have been going through hard times since i started reading your blog, you are a great mentor to have! Sometimes i lose a little faith if we will ever get by the hard times and i think if your family who can live on less and be content and try to be a little less materialistic! Its been hard as I am not used to not working, spending or living on less! We have recently picked up an extra job which we can both do together and for now though its not a date night, it is nice to have some time out of the house with him when we cant afford anything else! Hopefully in a little while we will be able to be at your level of inflation too!
The frugal blogosphere is encouraging, isn't it? When we see other people living on less, it encourages us to carry on!
Since I only have one child, I would feel bad not including him when we have takeout. I do like that you carve out time to spend together, that is good for your family as a whole. Congrats on the new year resolution of working out!
I can totally see that. But rest assured that our children are not bored or lonely...there are 4 of them, after all, and they have a great time hanging out while we eat.
Last Friday, the older 3 went skating with my parents, and just Zoe was left at home. So, she joined us for our date night, and she was very pleased.
Great use of money, I think. I love to walk, too, but my gym pass allows me to do aquafit (outside pool, very fun) and provides a destination, sort of. However you wrangle it, exercise is always worth it. And we too have grown our incomes over the 25 years (yikes!) of marriage. Actually, it expanded, shrunk, expanded, shrunk, etc., since my husband is self-employed and i only returned to full time work when my daughter was much older. We have expanded our spending, definitely, but still within comfortable limits and with savings first. As you have always said, it's not the dollar amount and there are no wrongs or rights here! I so agree! LOVE that you keep setting an example of mindful spending -- and upped your charitable, to boot. That is so inspiring to me.
We inflated our lifestyle this year by moving to a bigger house (which, of course, comes with a higher pricetage). We had very specific reasons for doing it... a better layout, a yard for the little ones, and located near our church and the school we want our children to attend. So we continue to maintain our fairly frugal ways in order to afford this house.
What a great article! My challenge has been getting my income high enough to balance our cost of living! Your blog constantly inspires me to be more frugal and decrease my lifestyle expenses rather than stress myself out trying to have a higher income. We're slowly getting there.
Date nights are so important. I couldn't do it at home though. The littles would (and have) run out the instant we set them in the other room or worse they would injure themselves or break something. When Chris is home, someone has to be sitting on him or talking to him. I treasure our nights out. They are well worth the babysitting and food money or coffee money.
I used to be part of a gym, but the weather here is so great so the only problem is how heavy the kids are getting the the double stroller. I do sign up for races, which costs money. (It keeps me motivated though).
Yay for the gym! A totally worthwhile investment. Here's a tip for your readers: check out your local YMCA. I teach an aerobics class twice a week at mine, and in addition to a teeny-tiny little paycheck (working 3 hours a week for minimum wage does not a lot of money yield), I get a free membership. My favorite perk: a membership includes 2 hours of FREE CHILDCARE per day. FREE CHILDCARE. Since I have two little toddlers at home, this is huge for me. At my YMCA any employee or volunteer (regardless of what you do and how many hours per week you do it) gets a free individual membership. And there's lots of different kinds of jobs to do -- childcare, teaching swimming lessons or aerobics, lifeguarding, being a volunteer greeter, etc. That might be a way for some of your readers to score a gym membership without having to pay anything for it.
I have been thinking about this a bit since my boyfriend and I started sharing a house recently. He's a full-time student so his income consists of his government student allowance and whatever he can make busking, but it's definitely helped! I don't think we've changed our lifestyle that much, though the amount of money we can pay off our debts (I have a personal loan, he has credit card debt) has increased and we can afford to spend more money on food, so we're eating better.
Right now I'm committed to helping him do as well at university as he can, so I don't mind supporting him in part, since once he graduates and gets a "real" job, I can take some time out and have babies 😉 That's the plan, anyway!
Great. Everyone else is so sweet and I just want to tease you about the bacon burger receipt in the middle of the gym membership post.
Anyway, however you spend your money, I am just glad you are in a place to have choices. You are so right when you say that having choices is the true luxury.
Thank you for a fabulous post! It's funny that this year has been the most financially stressful in my 20 years of marriage. Bless my grandmothers and mother for teaching my frugality from a very young age. Even though our family has had years of prosperity, we still lived frugally, stayed out of debt (except for our mortgage, some medical bills, and at one point a car payment), and tucked money away in an emergency fund. We drive two vehicles that have both been paid off for six years. Because, we didn't upgrade our lifestyle with increases in our income, we were able to survive a year with serious financial stress(two major medical emergencies, 3 months of physical therapy for my Husband,a broken arm, two major car repairs, a car accident, washing machine repairs, and a MAJOR plumbing problem) with minimal damage. Although, all of these challenges have caused us to acquire a small amount of debt our saving has paid for the Lion's share.
I think it's great that you have joined a gym! I have invested in a treadmill, an exercise bike, and a weight bench over the years. They are in our family room which makes it convenient for me to exercise in between all my craziness. Dear Hubby and I also make date night a priority. I am blessed that my fifteen year old is old enough to watch her siblings. We usually take advantage of restaurant specials, so our date night costs $20.00 or less a week. It's something to look forward to (and the kid's love it because they get to eat macaroni and cheese from a blue box and hot dogs!). Dear Hubby and I can regroup, discuss concerns, and mentally get on the same page without constant interruptions (nearly impossible with four delightful children , who all think they are all only children and should get priority...at the same time. :D). I really appreciate your insights, and look forward to your posts every day!!!
Frugality and living on a budget definitely does pay off. My husband just informed me that we were over budget by $4,500 for 2010. The reason - three family members passed away this year - each lived 500 miles from us - traveling, lodging, meals for funerals. One of our vehicles needed major repair work. Our washing machine breathed its last and several small appliances also bit the dust. But because we do live frugally and do save regularly, we did not have to worry about the extra expense. Part of saving is definitely for a rainy day.
I think a gym membership is a good investment in yourself! While walking is great for cardiovascular fitness, strength training is sooo important! I don't have the primary source handy, but women lose .33 pound of muscle a year after age 35 (not that you are there yet). So, if you weigh the same, and even fit into the same clothes, you are not as fit (and actually more fat...) Also, strength training helps to build your bones!
Sorry... I could talk about exercise forever... I'll stop now... 😉
Great post!
A utilized gym membership is a great investment in your health.
Instead of joining a gym, I do CrossFit with a friend in her garage, in my garage(treadmill given to me, used weight set $65, pull up bar $20 ) or sometimes with a group at my pastor's. I also meet a friend at the local pool once a week (cost is $3.50). Much more fun and challenging to workout with my friends...we even did a few 5ks and a 10k last year! (Soon to start training for half marathon) I have access to a gym at the hospital I work at (try to use it on the weekends I work). I have also found that the library is a great place to find workout DVD's and that my cable company has workouts "On Demand". My actual "gym" fees are quite low and I love the variety and the friendships I have developed.
I love your blog. It has helped me so very much. I'm proud of you guys for adding those two "extras" on. You will enjoy them.
You have always had it good. You really have been blessed. I went from making a great deal of money to $50 a week doing a kid's job. That made me feel so rotten and was horrid. The best thing now is I have food, I have clothes, I have some shoes, my kids are doing better and more. It was pure hell so you should feel very lucky.
The highlight of my trouble was I had to collect garbage outside to sell or my kids would have died of starvation. Yes their Dad was working too but, things are not like the 1950s tv shows now a days. It is not easy. Now that is very sad.
My dad always told me that you spend what you make and I believed it. My husband and I used to earn almost $70k/year before our daughter was born and I have no idea what we spent it all on. After getting laid off and being unemployed for almost 2 years, I now know that we can survive on about $33k. I have recently started a new job and am excited about putting all that extra money into savings/debt repayment.
As a newlywed, I read every frugal book and site I could. I can't remember where I read it but one source suggested that if you get a raise or new job that pays more that you should keep your lifestyle the same and use the extra money to pay bills or go into savings. That strategy has helped us in an unexpected way. When my husband's company cut everyone's salary due to the economy it didn't hurt as as much. Well, we don't get take out as often but for the most part all of are needs and a few of our wants are met.
Your plan sounds like a winner.
I always thought that in home date nights were normal...we've been doing it for over 10 years!! We heart them! Just to give you another idea, we we will either order out (I'm trying to cut back to 2x's per month) or we have "fun food night" for our "date night". Fun food pretty much consists of something that we make that is totally unhealthy...ie. steaks on the grill, shrimp scampi or hot wings. You can google copy cat recipes and make Olive Garden type of pasta without the price.
Oh...I ifnally did start my blog. And now that I'm finding how mcuh I have to say about our at home date nights, I think that might be a blog post to come! lol
This reminds me of a conversation I had with Tommy. We asked ourselves what we would do if we won a million dollars in a lottery and you know what we figured we'd do with all that extra money? Not new fancy clothes, no newer cars, no bigger better house or boats and such. We agree never to go to McDonalds ever again. I'd say that makes us pretty darn content with what we have, don't you? 😉