Tuesday Tip | Think about what you CAN do instead of what you can't do.
Your best efforts to cheerfully live on less can be quickly derailed if you think about what you can't do on your current budget.
I can't send my kids to that camp.
I can't go on a tropical vacation.
I can't get takeout.
I can't remodel my bathroom.
I can't get a gym membership.
I can't buy new clothes.
I can't get a new car.
Those things may all be true, but that's not a very productive train of thought.
Just because something is true, you are not obligated to dwell on it.
And dwelling on that kind of thing most definitely doesn't change anything!
(except for possibly changing your misery level from bad to terrible.)
So, try replacing, "I can't" thoughts with "I can" thoughts.
I can get out of debt/stay out of debt.
I can be free from the fear of looming bills.
I can repaint my bathroom without remodeling it.
I can feed myself well by making healthy meals at home.
I can set aside a little money each month for a future vacation.
I can work out at home.
I can shop ThredUp, thrift stores or clearance racks.
Not only do "I can" thoughts help you feel more cheerful, they have the ability to actually help you change something.
Which makes them the exact opposite of "I can't" statements, both in their wording and in their effect.
So. Swap 'em out, friends!
Nice post. It's the difference between folks who think life happens to them, versus those who make life happen. I always strive for the latter, but it can be hard at times.
I needed this today. We've had two large medical bills come in that we were not 100% ready for and I'm trying to keep my mind set positive about it all. But man is it hard and so easy to think the other way.
Sometimes medical bills can be negotiated, but not once you've put them on a credit card. It might be worth a phone call. At the very least, they might be willing to extend the payment period to give you a little more time to pay. Good luck!
Surprisingly enough after I typed my comment, the billing dept. called to talk about payment arrangements (extending the billing time). While it's still a scary amount to us at least I have a handle on it.
Ohh, that is so hard. Once when Mr. FG had a kidney stone while on a trip with Joshua (who couldn't drive yet), he took an ambulance from the hotel to the ER, which was less than a mile away, and we got a bill for over $1500.
For a ride of less than a mile! Oy.
$1500 isn't all that much in the medical bill world, of course, but boy, if a tiny ambulance ride costs that much, I can imagine how medical bills pile up so fast.
I hope that you guys can pay it off soon. Hang in there!
I am sorry to hear this and hope it works out! One other thought -- sometimes they are willing to accept less than the original bill. When my daughter was born, our medical plan only covered so much, which the bill far exceeded. My husband called the hospital and explained this and they brought the total down. We still paid but just not as astronomically. Sometimes it seems like they are charging huge amounts almost expecting us to finagle?? so I wish you all the best here -- might be worth looking into?
If they put you on a 6 or 12 month medical payments plan, many places , I found, don't charge any interest if paid timely!!
Thgis is a truth! But so much easier said than done when times are hard. So when times are not so hard, getting yourself in the habit of eliminating negative talk is key! That way, when they are, you already have those tools of positivity in your corner. (:
Yes, yes, yes. Practicing this kind of attitude with small things helps prime you for being able to do it with the larger things.
This is such a positive post! I think about what I can't do a lot, especially with money. It makes me a bit sad but also motivates me to make more and save more. Sometimes thinking that I can't have ice-cream because I want to save money is kinda fun. It's like a game to see how far I can go without getting what I want 😉
NO ice cream! Let's not go crazy here. 😉
I really love your positive outlook. For years now I have made lists. I fill notebooks with lists. It is how I sort out all the things I want to do, accomplish, fix, whathaveyou. One of my favorites is the "Cute House For Zero $$$" list. Probably once a year, sometimes twice? All the projects I can dream up using things I have. Sometimes it is just reorganizing and tidying up, sometimes it is switching things between rooms for a refresh, sometimes I figure out where to use that can of paint that came out the wrong shade and I paint a whole room. The latter happened this year with a cast-off can of blue paint that turned out to be too light for the basement but perfect for the living room over a year later. Score! That darn list cheers me up so much.
I love this idea!
Big time. This has been something I've tried to focus on over the past year or so, and the resulting change in attitude has been a huge helper for me. It works in so many aspects of life. There's so much we can't control, so focusing on what we CAN do makes life a lot happier. Such a great message!
Flip It: How to get the best out of everything - Author: Michael Heppell I used to get down because it seemed that every time I got a windfall or a bonus a bill would come in and equal it or pretty much wipe it out. Then I read this book back in 2011 and 'flipped it'. Now whenever a bill comes in, I know I will always have the money to cover it - I don't push that idea though!
Ooh, that sounds like an interesting book!
Love this!!!
Yes! I go back and forth between these attitudes, but I try hard to stay on the positive side. My mother always said, "When God closes a door, He opens a window." I try to keep that in mind, too. I can really tell a difference in how everything looks to me, when I make a conscious decision to think positively and be grateful.
I've been following the $100 challenge that some bloggers are doing, to renovate a space or room for $100 or less. It's amazing to see what can be done with that little amount of money! When I think about the things that need re-doing in my house, I can get down, but this has given me inspiration.
Hmmm. My mother used to say, "When God closes a door, he opens a window. Just in case you want to jump out of it." Until I married my husband, I thought that was the real saying so when I heard him use the first part of it in a positive sense, I was totally confused. I also did not initially believe him when he told me my mother had added her own addendum to the original saying...
Haha, that addendum does significantly decrease the level of comfort that quote can provide. 😉
My mother always said, "Can't never did anything!" So true.
I love that!
Such good advice and something I really need to work on -- love the idea that practice makes perfect here as in every other facet of life 🙂
I can chip away at my savings goals
I can be fun to have fun, it’s an attitude
I can do it!!
Thanks for the wonderful uplifting and postive post. I can read your blog and I can become more positive as a result!
Totally in the minority, but I am not loving these new type of posts.
I feel like they are out of character (not the positive vibe being out of character cause she always is positive, but just the …."tightness" or something of these posts...not the usual FG). I get the feeling that something is going on in real life. Praying all is well.
I thought twice about saying this, but that third time, I changed my mind - it's like ya'll are talking about FG and she's in the room, and maybe there is nothing at all wrong, but you've just put this out there for all to ponder needlessly. Not meaning to be rude, just a really awkward moment (not our blog, not polite to opine out loud, etc etc).
In the years our son was little and I was a SAHM by choice, we “had” so little..I mean in terms of money and stuff..you know, the “things” that don’t count much! We shared one car. Ate a lot of beans and hamburger. I had TONS OF TIME to DO WHAT I LOVED: Hang out with my little kiddo, walk to the library, fish in the local lake together, the beach was 45 minutes away and on the days I had the car we’d throw peanut butter sandwiches together nad spend the day seaside,swimming, playing, I had time to prepare frugal meals (I love to cook!).. and I did not feel I was missing a thing.Later on in life I went to school and became a nurse. Got more “stuff” and that second car. Still,those early days are precious happy memories.I never felt deprived.I did not compare myself or my life to anyone else.And I hung out with other folks who shared my way of life..we were happy.. find your tribe. Figure out what is important to YOU and YOUR family. P.S. The kiddo says he had a great childhood.. our family is close..I feel we gave him the right values.. choose your own lifestyle,don’t let a crazy consumerism culture make choices for you!! And find a supportive tribe!
I can shop thrift stores! I like that one. 😉
Another thing is sometimes we say "I can't", but we really mean "I'm not willing to sacrifice in order to..." or "I might have to wait untill...".
I also try saying things like "I am choosing to spend my money on getting out of debt instead of going to the gym." OR "I will be able to go out to eat when I sell some of these extra clothes I have."
Yep, exactly. Reframing is so helpful!
Thank you for the timely reminder. It is important to concentrate on the positive.
Medical bills are killers. I am currently trying to save enough to Mae a co-payment for much needed surgery.
My dh had a stroke a little over a year ago. For the longest, he would focus on what he could do before the stroke. Now, he is focusing on what he can do SINCE the stroke happened. In the hospital, he couldn't talk clearly, couldn't walk without the maximum help, couldn't go up/down a stair, couldn't manage the bathroom/shower, etc...
Now, he can walk with a limp, but long distances and strongly. Speech is back to normal. Right arm still doesn't work, but God Bless, he is left handed. Gratitude is a big part of things, whether you have had a medical issue, a financial issue or emotional one. You have to be grateful for what you have or can do.
I love this post! .....Late to comment as we have been out camping but this thinking has helped me to lose the weight I gained. I have changed my mindset and no longer thinking of what I can’t have........I think of all the wonderful things I can have and fit the less than healthy stuff in in moderation........game changer for me!