Thankful Thursday | when I don't feel like it
Ooof, you guys. I'm gonna be honest, I am feeling unusually blue right now, like a little cloud of sadness is hanging heavy over my head.
There are multiple and varied reasons for this, none of which are the end of the world. It's not as though some single great tragedy has befallen me recently.
In saying this, I'm not trying to be vague and mysterious (as in "vaguebooking". Ha.) I'm sharing because...thankfulness doesn't always just come naturally to me.
But you know how a hard workout is what builds physical muscles? I kinda think a thankfulness hunt when things are hard is similar.
I'm not bypassing the sadness; I cried about the things that are bothering me, I talked to some friends last night who empathized and helped give me a different perspective, and I have a previously-scheduled therapy appointment this afternoon.
So, I'm using those tools, but I'm also gonna use my thankfulness-hunting tool. Because a good toolbox has lots of options, and a smart person uses all the tools available to them. 😉
Ok.
This week I am feeling sad. And ALSO this week, I am thankful:
that Lisey sent me some gym music
Some good workout tunes really do help one get through a workout, so I appreciate her sharing!
that my dermatology checkup was all clear
Since I have a family history of melanoma and since I've had several sketchy moles removed in the past, I get a head-to-toe skin check every year.
Mine was yesterday, and I'm all good to go for another year. Good job, skin!
that I am able to go up and down stairs
I always take the steps up to/down from the third-floor dermatology office, and as I was walking down after my appointment, I thought about how grateful I am to be able to take the steps.
I think working at the hospital really makes me appreciate my mobility. Sometimes it takes several of us staff members just to get a patient out of bed and onto the bedside commode; imagine how happy a patient like that would be if they could easily navigate flights of stairs!
I do not take this ability for granted.
(As I said in this Instagram reel, I am only temporarily able-bodied.)
for a tiny kitten I saw at the vet this week
Oh my goodness, so small and so squeaky.
that I have only four weeks left in this semester
My final exam is December 11th, which is four weeks from yesterday. FOUR WEEKS, y'all. I am so close, so close, so close.
that I had sweet little pediatric patients again this week
One of them pretended to be my doctor. "I have a diagnosis for you!" she said.
Wanna know what my ailment was? A headache. In my thigh. And like every diagnosis this girl has given me, it required a shot.
(Is there a kid alive who doesn't love to give pretend shots??)
She also said I was going to need to stay in her hospital room for a few days, which honestly seemed suspiciously self-serving. 😉
that I have a printer
Not all of my classmates do, and this week I was able to help out a classmate by printing some clinical sheets for her.
My printer uses so little ink, and the ink is so cheap, I never mind doing some printing for classmates!
(The printer I have is an older version of this one, although Canon has several other options with the big ink tanks.)
for a funny critical comment
Sometimes the critical comments people leave are so ridiculous, they make me laugh.
Like this one:
"Read a freakin book, man!"
lol!
I must assure you that I will not be adopting "frugie" as my moniker. Yuck.
Don't even TRY to make that happen. 😉
for morning walk scenery
Today I have school at 8 am, so no nature for me. But I did squeeze in some walks earlier this week.
Look how many more leaves were on these trees just last week:
I must admit, I do feel a little lighter after making this list. It's kinda like how you usually feel better after a workout, even if you really didn't feel like starting the workout!
Hi Kristen, sorry to hear you are feeling a bit blue, but you obviously practise self-care which is one of the best ways of overcoming that.
During a long period of feeling bad, narrowly avoiding burn-out, I wrote down lists for myself, one with "signals" that precede and accompany hard periods (craving sweet foods, isolating, binge watching, churning over past pains, hurts and insults, for instance) and one with "healing" ideas (going out for walks, giving a call to a friend or family member, increasing my produce intake, doing a simple craft, etc).
As you know hand-writing is a better way of ingraining ideas in your mind than typing, so I wrote them. And for a number of years I used to take a look at the two pieces of paper regularly and help myself plan my recovery tricks.
In the past years however I have moved steadily to making habits of those actions that help me practise self-care, and I have felt less need to consult my papers. This is all part of an increased awareness that I want to live my perfect life now - I do not need to have a perfect life to do the things which I would want to do in my perfect life - if you get my drift. Possibly it is part of growing older and being aware that at nearly 60 I am definitely in the last quarter of my life - I am very aware that (quoting Gretchen Rubin I think) the days are long but the years are short.
This week I am thankful
-That not all trees drop their leaves at the same time. There are still such beautiful trees to enjoy, in spite of all the leaves that have fallen;
-That we are our own home owners, and we can leave the leaves where we want them for as long as we like;
-That the north faced front garden does so well. In fact, I spend less time weeding there than the back yard, and the plants do much better;
-That I have an apportunity of buying additional hours of leave, and that I can do that instead of reducing my number of working hours (which I have been considering to get better work-life balance);
-That my post-cataract treatment is planned shortly, so I will be able to drive again in the dark.
@JNL, "I do not need to have a perfect life to do the things which I would want to do in my perfect life."
This is such a helpful, affirming way to approach life. I'm going to write this quote down in my planner.
@JNL, I have enjoyed Gretchen Rubin's Happiness podcast for years. Filled with ideas and wisdom of how to create your own, unique, happy life. And book talk.
@J “I do not need to have a perfect life to do the things which I would want to do in my perfect life.”
YES YES YES! What a lovely reminder. Thank you.
@JNL, fantastic comment. You've inspired me to make a list of signals too. Yours looks a lot like mine. Thanks for sharing your wisdom!
@JNL, I love your two lists and think I may need to make some of my own. What a great idea!
@ErikaJS,
Me, too! I love her podcast, and her sister's podcast, too, even though I have zero aspirations of working in Hollywood.
@Liz B., Agreed on both. They’re a lot like this blog: cheerfulness and great tips and insights.
@Irena, love it
@JNL, I took your quote "I do not need to have a perfect life to do the things which I would want to do in my perfect life" , and typed it out. I'm going to frame it, and read it daily. I put your initials on it, in case anyone asks who wrote it. Thank you for sharing it!
I'm sorry you've had a hard week. I think that's one of the tough things about blogging, especially when one has a regular gratitude practice. You're either made to feel like a Pollyanna type (assumed to have this picture perfect life where nothing ever goes wrong) or made to feel like Eeyore (always grumpy and angsty). In reality, we are all going to land at various points along the spectrum and it varies based on our season of life/our circumstances. That is being human and I don't think others always appreciate displays of authentic humanity. Sigh.
I'm sorry this has been a crappy week; I've been having a lot of "feels" too. Tomorrow is my equivalent of Thankful Thursday (Happy Things Friday), and I'm actually starting the post talking about how I've felt blue this week BUT that being thankful is one of my best recourses when life feels crappy.
I'm allowed to feel both emotions simultaneously; sadness over certain situations and gratitude over the good things that are still happening. It doesn't magically make the hurts or disappointments go away, but it does help with perspective and it makes me more determined to keep my eyes and ears open for things to be grateful for - because attention is the beginning of devotion (thanks, Mary Oliver!) and where our attention flows our mind goes...
I find it hard to completely avoid vaguebooking. I get why it's frustrating, but also - some details simply can't or shouldn't be shared on the internet, yet to process things it really does help to at least acknowledge stuff is currently hard. I have some deep friendships with people I've met through my blog and they've followed along offline with some really hard things so I know when I "vaguebook" about a few topics (that for various reasons I can't blog about in detail) they can read into that with a lot of awareness having supported me - in some cases for years!.
Oh - and thank goodness for therapy. The combo of a regular gratitude practice AND therapy has been so, so helpful.
And YES to giving fake shots. I just had a wave of memories of my kids wearing the Melissa and Doug lab coat with the stethoscope that made heartbeat sounds and the needle that you could depress and it would spring back (very satisfying to give a fake shot where you actually push down on the needle). They LOVED playing doctor. Isn't it great how a child's instinct to to fix and heal and make well?
Thankful:
*the weather was pleasantly cool and sunny yesterday while I raked my front yard.
* my daughter had good days at school. Meds seem to be helping- no cure but managing symptoms so that she can succeed at school and not cause chaos.
* the teacher and aide in my daughter's class- they're so supportive.
*some nice chats with acquaintances.
I hope you get a chance to walk in the sunshine today!
It's 3 a.m. and I'm tired of lying in bed awake. I could read, or work, but because there was no blog post yesterday, I just HAD to check your site.
My dad taught me that when I am feeling down, the first thing to check is have I been getting enough sleep. Kristen, I think you might be tired. How could you not be tired?? Every moment of your life is full of all the have-to's or the planning for the have-to's. Sure, you go to the symphony and take walks in beautiful places, but it is all scheduled and push push push and Do The Right Thing. If you can schedule it (ARRRGHHHH!), maybe it is time to stay at a hotel, watch a dumb movie or read an escapist novel, and eat ice cream (Breyer's mint chip comes to mind here). A schedule-free, demand-free, be-and-do-good-free couple of days. . . or just go lie on the couch at your parents' house and let them carry everything for a day as if you are a kid again. Just thinking and wondering and wishing I could offer you a nugget of encouragement.
Thankful:
1. for your consistent and honest blogging (I miss the interaction on the days you don't blog—not a criticism, just an observation)
2. that my recent How to Draw presentation was well attended and fun for everyone including me.
3. to learn a new term— "vaguebooking" —because now I can finally identify why I disliked Instagram so much. I thought it would help me stay current with my nieces and nephews, but there was seldom any context for their posts. I quit the thing because it was a time-sucking, annoyance-producing, nagging interruption.
4. for electricity, phones and internet—nothing like a week or 2 with constant outages to make thankfulness show up for these things that were once a novelty and a luxury; we are so very dependent on things that are completely out of our control.
5. that I can still walk despite numb feet (DANG IT ALREADY!!)
P.S. So what if it is 3 a.m. and I am trying to stop being pre-diabetic. I am hungry and I ate a cookie. I am thankful for cookies. So there!
@Central Calif. Artist Jana,
Sleep is never optional!
@JNL, I agree! So I went back to bed around 4, and when my alarm went off at 5:30, I turned it off. I burned my walking partner and slept till eight.
Kristen,
I'm sorry you're having a rough patch. I hope things feel better soon.
I love that your ped patients want to be your doctor. I remember the Fisher Price doctor's kit our daughter had. Giving shots was definitely the highlight of using the kit. A close friend kept her daughter's doctor's kit and gave it to her when she was accepted into med school.
I am thankful for a warm house and a tank full of heating oil. The oil was auto delivered earlier this week and while I won't like the cost we are able to pay for it.
I am thankful that cooler weather makes foods like hearty soup more appealing for meals. I am also thankful that leftovers will provide dinner tonight.
I am thankful a friend is on the cusp of getting a job after being laid off in the spring.
I am thankful for general good health. We were able to hike on a steep and rocky trail on Monday. One of my sisters, sixty years old, volunteers at her local clinic/hospital and she has commented many times that she transports patients in wheelchairs that are her age or younger.
I am thankful for modern day household basics like plumping, HVAC, electricity, appliances.
I'm thankful for a good post knee replacement visit with the surgeon. Also that the PT exercises, while hard, are getting my knee stronger and the opposite hip back to almost normal that suffered from over working.
@Sam,
Been there and am getting ready for the other knee replacement in a couple weeks. While the PT can be very hard at times, it’s such a good feeling when you feel stronger and can bend that knee and get back to doing what you want to do! Keep up the good work!
@Sam,
Yay for a good post TKR surgeon's office visit! I just passed the 1 year mark of having my right total knee replacement. While I never 100% achieved my goals for extension and flexion, it's still so nice to walk pain-free.
I am thankful exhaustion got the best of me last night(Weds) and deterred me from making a batch of lemon ricotta muffins( to use up leftover ricotta and drying out lemons!) since it would have been a true faux pas!
I have read several freakin' books, even one or two on bread making and I absolutely don't remember the warning not to bake bread on a Wednesday. Should publishers of these books put a warning label on the cover?
What else have I missed that I shouldn't do on a Wednesday? Wednesday used to be Prince spaghetti day so I think I'm safe with pasta.
Can I wash windows on a Monday? Would a leap year affect that? What if I were in Australia? Does reversed seasons change the algorithm of baking restrictions?
So much to think about today but I might not have much time because it's Thursday and I can bake bread.
Take care, you've got this!
@Candy, thanks for the grin!
@Candy,
Prince Spaghetti Day: "ANthony!!!"
@Candy,
I think that commenter needs to get with the current times!
Lol, Prince Spaghetti Day.....funny memories!
@Liz B., always an ad in the local newspaper on "spaghetti day". Sad to says tangible newspapers are ghosts of their former selves.
@Candy, this post is hilarious. I've never heard of the Wednesday thing either, and I've researched food traditions in multiple cultures.
I wonder if the entire comment was a thoroughly off-target attempt at dry humor.
Your's, on the other hand, was spot-on.
@Glenna, oh, I totally remember that commercial ☺️
Chiquita definitely looks Very Concerned in that photo where she's looking up at you. I'm sure she's doing her duty as a Comfort Cat, though. I hope your cloud lifts soon. Or at least thins.
Thankfuls:
--That all my kids read so well. Not everything at school comes easily to them, but they are all advanced readers, and that helps SO much, with everything from math to science. Plus, they all read for pleasure, which makes my bibliophile-heart happy.
--That my husband hasn't gotten the school bus stuck yet. About 40 miles of his route is on dirt roads, and those have turned into a mess of mud since our giant snowfall started melting. He's had a couple of close calls, but has managed to get through. I think yesterday was the worst day and it should be drier from here on out.
--Relatedly, that I wore my hiking boots yesterday (of special note for this crowd: They're waterproof leather boots I bought for our trip to Spain . . . 18 years ago. Got my money's worth out of those suckers.) I don't really like wearing them all day at work, but I also don't like mincing around mud and ice in nicer shoes. I was very glad I wore them when we ended up walking the last quarter mile home from the bus run yesterday on the very muddy road. (Not because we got stuck, just because it's hard for my husband to turn around in the mud at our house and the worst stretch of his run was still to come, so he thought it would be better for us to walk from the main road while he dropped the other family off. That way, if he got stuck, he could just walk them home and then figure out how to extricate the bus by himself.)
--For a surprisingly drama-free start to middle school for my middle son. There were a lot of changes and new things this year, but he's been very responsible and self-reliant managing it all, and I'm proud of him. Especially because he's definitely my child who has to decide to do something on his own, or getting him to do it is a constant battle. So, proud AND relieved. 🙂
--For the white Christmas lights strung along the metal ceiling divider between my kitchen and living room. I call them my Time Change Lights, and I put them up as soon as the time changes in November and we're eating dinner when it's dark. They make it feel much less depressing in that area. Also the candles on the table. Our church got a big box of taper candles donated that we can't use (the Catholic church actually requires that the candles used in church be at least 51% beeswax--for both symbolic and practical purposes--and these are mostly paraffin), so I have a lot of free candles. That's why I can burn them at both breakfast and dinner. My kids love it, and so do I.
@kristin @ going country, what a good idea with the (string) lights. 🙂 I bought some clearance LED Cool White Tape lights to put up on edge of ceiling in dining room to help with indoor plants in winter. I probably should get those up soon.
I actually should dig out some of my candles & light them also. It's sad that beginning day/going out in dark & is dark before 5pm now, & that doesn't take into account the cloudy/overcast days also.
@kristin @ going country, I too am a candle user in the winter months. I light two in the pre-dawn and post-dusk darkness here in Central NY--one for DH and one for the state of the world.
@kristin @ going country,
it sounds lovely! got some hygge going on!
@Liz B., Just needs skol to complete the comfort picture.
@A. Marie, I light candles and sometimes oil lamps just for company. When my DH works long hours it feels like something warm is here, and beautiful too.
No to Frugie, huh? How about Frugalicious or Frugity-frogity-froo?
@Becca, ouch. My ears are bleeding.
@Becca, now I can't get Frugalicious sung by Fergie out of my mind. I'm laughing and now want to make the rest of the song fit being frugal.
omg that is even worse.
Ugh, like you I've been blue, for various reasons, and it does help to think hard about what I'm thankful for.
*I have the money in the bank right now to go buy my new car and I have actually stopped procrastinating the car situation at my house and will go to the dealership TODAY.
*I found a therapist who has been able to help get me unstuck and moving forward. Not to go into great detail, but sometimes we do need a professional to help with a big thing. Losing your spouse of 35 plus years is such a thing.
*I am down another whole pound in weight, which means that my small efforts are adding up. My employer provided me with a dietician who is a great help.
*Its cooler outside this morning, making my hot coffee taste exceptionally good. I am so thankful for my home and how comfortable I am in this season of life.
Things might be a lighter shade of blue today. (:
@Gina from The Cannary Family, yes, 35 years, very tough stuff.
How fantastic that your employer did that for you.
And “lighter shade of blue” is a phrase I am stealing. Thank you!
@Gina from The Cannary Family,
As a Registered Dietitian (fyi, the preferred spelling has two "t's and no "c"), I'm so glad to hear your employer provided you with access to one. Congratulations on your weight loss. Slow and steady is the way to go.
Oh man, I think I've probably been spelling this wrong!
@Gina from The Cannary Family, yes, that is very much a thing. I'm glad you found someone. Sometimes it's all about the baby steps.
Hang in there, Kristen. Keep doing everything you need to do to take care of yourself. Team FG is rooting for you.
Today, I'm thankful to have a body that not only moves, but still has some bounce. I slipped and took a hard sit-down on Bailey dog's family's concrete front steps yesterday--just as Bailey's human parents were pulling into the driveway, to compound my embarrassment. But, fortunately, I've got enough (ahem) padding in the seat that all I am this morning is sore.
And I'm even more thankful that yesterday was Bailey's mom's last chemotherapy infusion for ovarian cancer. She'll be getting a "maintenance" drug infusion every few weeks hereafter, but we're all rejoicing that she's come this far successfully. She's an inspiration to me.
I hope you feel perkier soon. I started saving cartoons on a Pinterest board to look at when I’m feeling down. I don’t always remember, but when I do, it helps.
Thankfuls:
- I get to talk to my mom every week! 🙂
- I have a good doctor that I like.
- My hair grows fast.
- I have a good guy to help with financial and insurance stuff.
- I enjoy keeping my mind active by playing word games and reading.
- Cooler weather.
@Dee in AZ,
I just might steal, or uhhh borrow, your idea of saving funny cartoons on Pinterest. I think that would be a definite mood lifter.
That my pulled back muscle, pain, and associated limp are temporary. I live with someone who mostly can't walk; as FG wrote, it makes one very aware of one's ability.
That it's fall. It's my favorite season, with cool crisp air, long sleeves, and brilliantly colored trees.
My father's health. He's getting on in years and is a widower, nonetheless is 100% independent in all ways and has a fantastic life. Most significantly, he has lively and dynamic social circles.
My father's pragmatism and openness about end of life. The family has frank and productive discussions about his physical and mental health now and in the future, what he wants for end of life and end-stage care, finances and legal work; all of it.
My cooking knowledge. When I don't feel like cooking (which is most of the time these days) I can wing it and slide by, and still have nutritious inexpensive meals. Chicken simmer in a jar of sauce is one of my favorites.
My dog. He's a disobedient nuisance who earns his name Mr. Underfoot and is constantly trying to convince me he hasn't had a walk yet. He's also gentle and puts up with anything (even a bath), thinks his 60 lb self is a lap dog, and likes nothing better than to be my footrest on the other end of the couch. Given how much I read, we spend a lot of quality time like that.
@WilliamB, I'm glad that your dad & family are able to have those open conversations about the important stuff (end if life, finances), many families don't & it makes it so much easier. 🙂 My dad was not very open to this a few years ago but I phrased it that if we get it done (talked about & if completed--yeah!) then it will be done exactly how you want it. These things are a slow moving process sometimes, but fast forward to today & many things completed & he is happy (& I am also) that things done as he wishes, not how others necessarily want. And to me it's a relief knowing it's done his way & less stress around situation(s).
@Regina, good for you for persisting with your dad. It’s hard enough, but when the parents push back, it’s easy to give up.
@WilliamB and @Regina, I'm glad for both of you that the parental conversations have gone so well. So many people just prefer to be ostriches and stick their heads in the sand about end-of-life planning.
@A. Marie,
That was my dad....he refused to discuss ant end of life plans, even when he was ill with heart failure. My mom had to figure everything out when he died unexpectedly. (I did try to help where I could). My in law's, on the other hand, had everything pre-paid, their wills and powers of attorney ready to go, and my DH knew exactly what they wanted. I highly recommend my in law's approach.
@Liz B.,
Highly recommend my in law's approach, assuming you have the resources to do so. That's what I meant to say.
@Regina, my dad has always been quite frank re: end of life, health/financial issues. Right down to his prostate health. Thanks dad, glad yours is okay but the health of that "part" has no place in my health history lol.
@Selena, I followed the wishes of a relative's advance directive. Didn't matter what I thought, it was what my relative wanted. Hard to lose the relative but in the end, I honored his request.
It’s been an overwhelming week, but I’m grateful for my husband, children and father. I’ve also found support where I didn’t know I had it.
My therapist is moving, which adds to the hard feelings, but I am thankful she been able to help me find my voice. She has truly helped me in ways I didn’t think possible. As much as I don’t want to start over with another therapist, I feel much more capable of doing so than I did in the past. Maybe it’s another step in my process towards my personal growth.
I’ve been happily surprised by peoples’ responses to my recent self reflections. I write for myself and didn’t realize other people were actually reading.
Cute pupper fluffiness is always something to be thankful for. Any animal really. I just happen to have a 7month old puppy that is adorable trouble. I’m extra grateful for nap time!
@JenRR, maybe your therapist will do phone appointments.
@Central Calif. Artist Jana, She will do phone/online visits and was hoping I’d be open to the idea. I’ve tried virtual visits before, but I don’t get the same personal connection that I need.
Kristen - I'm sorry you are feeling blue this week. Hope things get better soon.
This week, I'm thankful
- that my boss called me into her office to tell me that while the company may have to cut staff soon, my job is safe. One of the perks of working at the same company for over 20 years.
- that my dental appointment to replace a crown went well and cost me nothing out of pocket
- that DS came over to pick up some things and we had a good visit. He and I have been a bit crossway this last week because I was critical of his lack of housekeeping skills (y'all his kitchen was NASTY) and it really hurt his feelings. DS has mental health challenges, so it is a difficult for me to use "tough love" with him without both of us ending up in tears.
- for that we are getting rain this week. We've been in drought conditions for what feels like forever. While I'm happy to have the rain, the gray rainy days are not helping me feel less blue.
- for our silly, energetic rescue dog. She is not a cuddly dog in general but this morning she wanted to give and receive lots of loving. I think she recognizes that I'm feeling blue and wanted to give mom a good start to the day.
- that my cousin was delighted to receive the photo album I found in mom's stuff. The photos were mainly of her family from the 1950s and my cousin said that she smiled so much going through them that her checks hurt.
@Kristen you are not alone in your time of sadness. This week has been a tough one for me too. For different reasons but still tough.
1. My husband was feeling a bit better this morning after his first radiation appointment yesterday. Radiation for melanoma is no joke folks. He gets 5 doses of extremely high radiation because that is the best way to ensure melanoma will not return along with the immunotherapy. It was hard for me and for him. The fatigue and pain he was in and having to see that is not something I would wish on anyone.
2. For my faith. I am grateful that in the midst of all of this I still have my Hope to cling to, my feet are planted on the Rock, and I am keeping my eyes on Him. In all honesty, that is all that is holding me together in and through all of this.
3. It is cool and raining today and I love the peaceful sound of it. Hot coffee tastes better to me when it is cool outside and I will definitely be enjoying a lot of hot coffee today.
4. For the good eating habits I have built over the last 2+ years. This helps me to know that I don't have to give into the urge to eat all the carbs when stress comes my way. I know what foods make me feel my best so that I can take care of others. I know I feel better when I focus on protein, fiber and water. I can stick to this easily now and I feel comforted in knowing that my eating habits are something I can control.
5. For counselors and therapists and friends and a prayer team and pastors and a Mom who shows up and does my dishes, throws in a load of laundry, and makes a pot of coffee. When you are in the trenches of life support is invaluable and the blessing of this is not lost on me. Check on your people folks. Sometimes the simplest thing can be the greatest gift.
@Angie, Hugs to you and hugs to your husband. My brother went through melanoma and passed away at age 46. When there was nothing else the doctors could do for him he agreed to clinical trials of immunotherapy. I like to think that he helped out in that treatment and made it a viable one. His daughter is now working for a company that makes clinical trial drugs and vaccines and she gets to be in the lab mixing them up. She feels close to her dad doing this. Prayers for your husband and his recovery.
Having read your post, Kristen and the ensuing comments, several things resonate. It must be the season for blue. And while everyone's reason is important and different, it's still lumped under sadness. I have no SO, or children, so my grieving usually is for my parents or siblings or even just changes in my aging life.
Country Kristin: we lived on a farm, on a dirt/gravel road. Particularly in the spring "when the bottom fell out of the road," we would walk from the paved road to home.
KD: It is not unusual for me to be taking care of people younger or my same age in my geriatric nursing field. And I think about that more and more.
JNL: I'm glad you can buy leave to work less. When I was in my 50's and (did not realize the thyroid issues I was having contributed) had difficulty with my attitude especially at work, I calculated just how much I needed to work and pay the bills. I was able to cut down to five days one week and four the next and then to just four days a week. It helped a lot and my work became less of my whole life. Work is still an integral part of my life even at three days (nights) a week.
Thankfuls: 1) Kristen, your transparency, leadership of this Commentariat.
2) The Commentariat and love and concern we have for one another.
3) This two week vacation I am on to spruce up or at least get a good start on cleaning and freshening up the decor in my home. The desire (as I've said before) is to purge the extemporaneous and organize the remaining. I am trying to cut this task into manageable chunks.
4) I am thankful I do not have to host Thanksgiving for my immediate family. I enjoy making a big deal out of it, but I was ready for a break this year. As it is I volunteered way too much to take and it's this Saturday. (Chicken and noodles-homemade, rolls-homemade, an apple pie which since has been changed to a pineapple upside down cake to earn points w my sometimes fractious brother, and our ubiquitous scalloped oysters-which is just from one can as only three of us like it.)
5) Thankful for creature comforts. I do not take it likely. There are many daily situations to remind me of how blessed I am.
Sorry to hear you're a little down, but sounds like you're handling it well and taking the right steps.
I'm thankful for:
- My very comfy bed
- More time on my hands right now than previously. It makes taking time to help my kids with their schoolwork much less stressful.
- Sunshine
- God's Word in a language I can read fluently
Give yourself grace! The darkness of the time change and the upcoming holidays can be very triggering.
Sending warm thoughts!
@Stephanie, Yep yep yep. Christmas is always hard for me, for various reasons, and I no longer apologize for it. For many years I refused to even go look at Christmas lights or listen to Christmas music. I still am not really enthused about it, but it's gotten better.
@Karen A., I have struggled terribly with the holidays for 13 years, since my son looked for a reason to dump us, and we sort of lost the granddaughters too. I spent over two months of every year in deep grief. This year I read something about making NEW associations with certain things to help turn that around. It's not perfect, but we are going for a brief visit to meet up with my stepson in December and I'm looking forward to it.
I had also given away every last Christmas decoration that I had collected over a long life, but this week I bought two gingerbread houses that light up. It's far from perfect, and certainly not the holidays I used to have, but better than black grief for two months.
@Anne, My heart goes out to you for this hard circumstance. I’m so impressed that you’re working on changed the parts of it that you can. Your stepson is likely thrilled about your visit.
Kristen (((HUGS))). I also suspect you are a bit tired and just don't have the time to deal with it. It sure does not help when other things are making one feel a bit blue.
I am so very grateful for a night of rain and what promises to be some more today, as the drought here has been severe. Also grateful that the painter who can refinish our unusual front porch, which is built entirely of lacquered wood, arrived yesterday and made huge progress. It was badly sun damaged after 70-plus years and already looks so much better.
That weird comment made me LOL. Especially because it’s on a post from 2010. What if you HAD read a book on these supposed rules for baking in the interim 14 years? LOL.
I’m sorry you’re going through a rough patch. Thank you for showing up for yourself and for us to practice some gratitude!
My thankfuls for the week:
1. That I got to see my family for our annual football reunion this past weekend.
2. For book club tonight! We read Demon Copperhead, heavy topic but Kingsolver is an incredible writer.
3. I joined a local women’s philanthropy group, in an effort to meet more people in our new town/county, and to learn more about the local non profits. I met a very lovely woman the first meeting!
4. For my goofy dog.
5. That the grocery store is less than 5 minutes from our new house.
@Andrea G / Midwest Andrea, Demon Copperhead was definitely 5 stars!
@Andrea G / Midwest Andrea, Kingsolver is extraordinarily talented.
I'm sorry you're having a hard week. I hope things start looking up for you soon.
Thankful:
That I have a good relationship with my parents. Even though we don't always agree, we love each other and show it.
That we are finally having fall weather, with chilly mornings and evenings and colorful falling leaves. It was very late getting here this year, but it always comes eventually.
That I can now enjoy things like hot soup and hot cocoa and curling up under a blanket.
That my cats are grown up enough now, at two and a half years old, to sleep calmly on the end of my bed instead of playing all night or trying to wake me up early.
That I have developed more resilience this year and am better able to recover from emotional lows. I've been feeling blue for various reasons too, but with a lot of practice, I find I am able to take better care of myself and avoid getting stuck like I used to.
My heart goes out to you. I hope that you are feeling better today. Sometimes life just feels too heavy. There are time when I find it hard to carry its burdens. Thankfully this does pass.
I am thankful that I finally have a good haircut. The same person has done my hair for close to 30 years. He gave my adult son his first haircut. We are friends. Sadly he had to have rotator cuff surgery. He has been out for nearly 4 months. I have been walking around like I have a bush on my head. I feel so much better, but most of all I’m happy that my dear friend has healed.
I am thankful that the weather has been so beautiful. When Rescue Pup and I took our evening walk, there was a cool sea breeze billowing from the east, a nearly full moon, and high fluffy clouds floating through the sky. I didn’t want to come inside.
I am thankful that my garage reorganization project is nearly complete. It is so nice not to be overwhelmed with stuff. Like many a you, I am trying to get things in order. My in-laws left us with a mess when they passed away. Although I hope that time is many years in the future, I don’t want to do that to my own children.
Wishing all of you, the blessings of peace, good health, and prosperity.
Like another poster, it sounds like you have some fantastic self care going on, even when you are not feeling your best. I suppose that's all we can really do during these times. Here's hoping you feel much better. And, Frugie?!
1) Grateful I got a chance to catch up with my mom on her birthday yesterday, and she's still living a healthy, fantastic life at 72.
2) That I finished my 3 day user study. It was really eye opening & helpful, and I'm happy I did it, but the monotony of it for 9 hours (over 3 days) was ... so not fun! I'm really proud of myself for sticking it out all three days, because that definitely wasn't my inclination.
3) That I'm getting to see a friend I haven't seen in 10 years today!
4) For so much hiking over my funemployment time! There's been: Sedona, Moab & now Zion, plus lots & lots of local hikes.
5) For my husband. We may have occasional challenges, but I know he loves me and truly tries to make me happy, and that's just a wonderful feeling.
I've followed you for many years and reached out a few times—your weekly posts are a part of my routine, and even though our paths are different, I love being a part of your journey. You inspire me in so many ways, and you've truly enriched my life over the years. Thank you for sharing everything with us, from the highs to the lows. I’m incredibly grateful for you. Sending you a big hug and so much love to help you through the tough times. All my love Sue (Suffolk, UK)
Aww, thank you Sue. I really appreciate you taking the time to encourage me!
I'm so sorry that you are feeling down. Sometimes a good cry & a listening ear is what's needed to help you acknowledge your emotions & then help you to find a way forward. Luckily you have a good therapist & good friends to help you. I hope you take some time & process your emotions & start to feeling better towards what's causing your sadness.
Thankful that teen got signed up for Spring semester (which starts January). Thankful that teen friends/classmates saw teen & went out of way to say Hi & that miss seeing teen (since finished class early). Even other staff asking where teen has been. Warms my heart to know teen has people who are caring & notice/support teen, even when not there.
Thankful college answered questions & gave me information needed about new/upcoming college related stuff. Teen also was told information about upcoming opportunities might be able to do/use. 🙂
Thankful had good meeting with my tax office boss. I am appreciative that he listens to my suggestions & generally applies them to many situations. I am happy that he is undetstanding & gives people opportunity to express concerns/share input on situations.
Thankful teen helped sick neighbor in doing leaves in neighbor yard (needed it) & city did leaf pickup with hour after finished (talk about timing). Teen was happy to get paid, as teen doesn't like being broke.
Thankful for rescue dogs who are so happy to see us when we walk in the door, even after just being outside working in yard. The jumping, tails wagging & happy barking of happiness when seeing us. Though when you have arms full of groceries & can't see/navigate past them safely it can be difficult, especially when can't see them through grocery bags.
Thankful for Kristen & her site. Allowing all of us to learn & share here.
Have a great weekend.
***FYI---TODAY IS FREE RED CUP DAY AT STARBUCKS. BUY ANY HOLIDAY (HOT/COLD) FLAVOR DRINK & GET FREE RED REUSABLE CUP---TODAY 11/14 ONLY.
Kristen, I'm sorry you're feeling blue, but so appreciate your honesty and that you have help scheduled. Sometimes, we can't pull ourselves out of our funk and need assistance. For me, when I feel blue, a lot of the time is because I am overwhelmed and sleep deprived. I can usually perk up a little with a good night's sleep and writing down all the thoughts in my head. But that is me and not you. Only you know you.
This week I am thankful that I have planned dinner and cooked it almost every night. I did a really good food shop the past 2 weeks and we are stocked up on everything and should have no reason not to have meals planned for the rest of the month. Just have to get past my laziness.
Thankful for the rain. Altho, technically WV is not in the dry Northeast, we are under burn bans and drought conditions in this state too. Today it is supposed to rain all day and only be in the 40's. The wood stove is cranking.
I bought a not-so-cheap TV antenna on line and at first it didn't work. I re-arranged it in my office and now I get some local channels that I have not received before. Together with the inexpensive streaming service I have there, I could listen to the TV all day, which is nice. I also have music in my office, so I can skip to music if I don't find anything on TV. I need some background noise when I work or when I craft and the TV is it.
I am thankful for my husband. He has been making my life a little easier by doing the dishes everyday. He knows how much I want to retire right now, but can't due to the insurance factor, so he is helping out as much as he can -- like doing the dishes and brining in wood for the wood stove. It is those 2 little things that are keeping me going and hopefully will last the next 16 months. And to be honest, he really never has been this kind and thoughtful. But I will take it!
Bought our Christmas Tree over the weekend, but haven't put it up yet. I am an after Thanksgiving gal, so I will keep my pumpkins and orange colors out at least until after Thanksgiving.
@Maureen, I have an indoor antenna, and I find that occasionally i have to move it to a different spot and rescan for channels more than once to get all the channels I can out of it! I get close to 50 with mine!
First I need to say that my 20 year old son has requested to be referred to as she/her so I honor that. Just didn’t want anyone to wonder if I have an additional kid I’ve never referred to. lol.
Thankful Thursday
1. So so happy DS is home from the hospital. It was a very scary two weeks. Grateful for all of us being in good health.
2. I’m grateful for small dogs who like to snuggle
3. For my wonderful local girls group and impromptu gatherings like we had last night. We do gatherings in each others homes. Some planned in advance so last minute. Always soul soothing.
4. For the beauty of autumn and walks in nature. (Maybe that’s two..)
5. For soup season! I love soup. This week’s soup was potato leek soup with bacon!
@Julia, all that and I forgot to refer to her as DD! It’s been 20 years of DS. this is a big change which I’m still processing and trying to remember.
@Julia,
Love and respect to your daughter, and to you and the rest of the family. That is a huge adjustment and it will take time to process and feel natural. But give yourself some grace there too and in due time you all will even learn to handle reference to the past (what name and pronoun do you use if you tell a kindergarten anecdote, for instance?) or consider the family pictures on the wall (what if you child has mixed feelings about them?).
Been there, done that, have felt fear for my kid (and occasionally still do) and met with more kindness, understanding and support than we could have foreseen. Wishing your daughter and yourself the same positive responses - hugs!
@Julia, I'm sure your DD is thankful for your support and love with the recent change! <3
@Julia, sending lots of love and good vibes to you and your daughter!
@Julia, I am thankful that you are there for your DD. It makes me mostly angry, but also sad that a parent(s) cuts ties with a biological child when it comes to the child's reference/sexual choice in life. So kudos to you and we'll forgive S/D as they are next to each other on the keyboard!
@Julia, your acceptance and public announcement warms my heart. Thank you.
Here's hoping the clouds lift quickly!
1. I'm thankful that my daughter's quick trip to Minnesota for work went well and safely and that my native Floridian daughter didn't freeze to death while there, ha.
2. I'm thankful that my visiting sister tries to have everything at the house handled for me so I have less to do when I get home from work. I'll miss that when she goes back home!
3. With two separate Thanksgiving-adjacent birthdays in the family, I'm thankful we've managed to work out a schedule that allows us to celebrate each birthday and the holiday without getting frantic or cramming it all into one celebration. Having her birthday absorbed as part of Thanksgiving Day would not have pleased the little one who is (excitedly) turning six on the 24th, especially.
4. I climb up and down 19 steps at work every week day, and I don't take that for granted, either. Helping my dad when his arthritis required two hip replacements, my parents after their strokes, then my husband as he lost his ability to walk, really brings home to me how hard it is to be unable to walk independently or move easily. (I know some here know that personally.) I am grateful for the ability to walk, get in small spaces where a wheelchair won't fit, use my hands, bend over, turn my head fully, and more. And I'm grateful that my above-mentioned sister can walk independently after the family curse of arthritis caused her to have two knee replacements.
5. I'm thankful that I didn't get an enormous increase in my home insurance premium, although I've been fooled before by getting a later increase. If I remember correctly, Bee got a big increase in her Florida homeowner's policy, so the fact that I didn't is suspicious, but I'll be grateful for it for now unless or until they sock me with a big increase.
I thought it might be a pileup of shifts that caused you to miss a day and am so sorry it’s a case of the blues instead. You and your posts make so many others happy that it seem particularly unfair for sad events to be thrown your way. However, super happy to hear of your resources, the calls to friends, therapist appointment, and those sweet littles that realized right away that you are a very special nurse who would need some doctoring. I loved that story!
One can be grateful even in the midst of things that make us cry, that shake our cores to the foundation, that make us ask the universe: WHYYYYYY?
I appreciate your honesty in sharing what you are going through. No life is all sunshine but a lot of people are so afraid of their feelings that they can't even acknowledge when they are sad, anxious, fearful, depressed (in all degrees, cause there is not just one level), or feel especially weak or vulnerable. In my experience, our strength comes not from pretending things don't hurt, but from saying, "Yeah, that SUCKS big time." and then, moving through it with self-love and intention.
I love how you mentioned your gratitude for being able to walk. I landed in a wheelchair (permanently as it turns out) from the side-effects of cancer treatment. Now I can barely stand up to get out of the chair as needed (which is all I ask the universe for). I can't even remember what it was like to walk, freely, up stairs, in the parks, all over. But I miss it and I will never not miss it (and the ability to take a bath, which I can no longer do because although I have a beautiful, deep old tub (perfect for soaking which I did every day for almost 40 years), I cannot get up if I were to sit down in it. )
I used to walk almost every day in a local park that was parallel to a river. It was my daily sanity ritual and also when I did my daily gratitude activity. I remember thinking, EVERY DAY, how grateful I was to have this park and to be able to be there.
We must be thankful every day for even the smallest things because you don't know where our journeys will take us. If nothing us, age teaches most of us that there is a lot to be grateful for each day, no matter our circumstances.
That said, as I frequently say, we can be ever so grateful and mindful and still be sad, hurt, anxious, upset and just wiped out by the sundry life circumstances.
That happened last week over three days. BIG stuff (!) and then a series of small things going way way wrong despite much planning and words of assurance from others (That is the most frustrating when people in biz and personal life simply do not do what they say they will and the fallout for those of us who took them at their word. Tough to deal with.)
We can and do move on because most of us don't want to be stuck in the feelings of the bad stuff and we remind ourselves, that we do get to choose how we respond to what happens around and to us. We don't have to be pollyannas and we don't have to pretend that stuff that happens doesn't create pain and grief and havoc in our lives.
As I used to say to others (and to myself): OK, that sucks. Now what do you want to do?
I often think everything would be more bearable if we all could have loving cats and/or dogs around us to help ease our troubles.
@Irena, Your post was very beautiful. Thank you for sharing. I'm sorry you can't walk in the park or soak in the tub anymore.
@Irena,
I also want to say that I hope you find good things in your life that will replace those things that you can no longer do or enjoy.
@Irena,
Thank you for sharing your experiences and perspective. There is so much truth and sanity in your phrase "OK, that sucks. Now what do you want to do?" We can ONLY control ourselves. Sending you love.
Oh Kristen, I'm so sorry to hear that you've been having a tough time. I don't comment often, but I noticed yesterday that there wasn't a post and instantly hoped that you were okay. I truly hope that you find some much needed rest and peace to get you through this time.
I’m reaching for reasons to be thankful this week myself mostly due to a stubborn health issue that has been with me for too long despite efforts. My new doctor seems to have a good plan though. And, funny you should say "mobility" because mine is being impaired. Hopefully, the specialist can and will figure it out. Darn—or as Jana says, Phooey, to aging haha.
I’m thankful nevertheless for supportive family, especially a dream DS for encouragement but also his humor and lovely care.
The kids live in distant states but help with frequent Zooms and FaceTimes, and visits when they can. One of the ways they help is by being successful in their marriages to wonderful girls, and successful in their careers, well chosen. Not having to support or worry about your adult kids is sometimes be extra thankful for. Now if only the planet can be cleaned up in time . . . .
@ErikaJS, yes indeed, PHOOEY!
And take heart-the earth is remarkably rejuvenative. Remember some of those volcanic eruptions and oil spills. . . All will be well in time.
I'm thankful to "know" you and hear your perspective. My guy was in a new to us hospital this week for a hip transplant. One of the male nurses is 72. They were celebrating his birthday. He is so active and wise and well loved by staff and patients. As you will be! Also, when I went into the cafeteria there were a bunch of nurses eating lunch, and three of them had brought their own lunches from home, carefully laid out in nice lunch boxes and containers. I thought of you. It's ok to be blue sometimes, but please know that you have spread your cheerful, accepting and frugal spirit in ways you don't realize.
I'm sorry you're having a hard time, Kristen. I was too sad last week to write a thankful list but here is this week's:
1. I'm thankful that I was able to go for a walk in the countryside this week. The autumn colours were beautiful!
2. I'm thankful that my workplace is so supportive.
3. I'm thankful for my friends being there for me.
4. I'm thankful that my library has such a great selection of books.
5. I'm thankful to the person who picked up my water bottle for me when it fell out of my bag on the train!
@Sophie in Denmark, stay away from retail therapy cures! You can do this.
I’m feeling blue today too for a variety of reasons. And I have been strengthening my thankfulness muscles today already. Here’s my list:
-coffee in a mug at home. I often am drinking coffee out of a thermos or at work and it’s not as nice as in a mug at home.
-time off to care for a sick child (the reason I am drinking coffee at home today). I’m glad I’m not losing pay for this and that I have margin to rest today and get caught up on a few things.
-growing confidence to help students with big emotional needs. Coming out of an u safe home last year I felt overwhelmed by my students’ needs. Now I’m able to assist them without being triggered or feeling lost.
-the playlist of lovely hopeful music running through my head most of the day. I’m convinced music (and art) is where the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual parts of us meet.
-access to medical care
-blankets and pillows for comfortable sleep
-the smiles of my children and students and colleagues.
It is amazing how much easier it is to help others when you yourself are more resourced! I'm so glad you are doing better this year as compared to last year.
@Kristen, So true. And also amazing how helping others can often make you feel better.
I am thankful for
>Having a roof over my head. For many reasons, this is not something I can take for granted.
>For having a fabulous PCP, who helped me learn to trust medical professionals after some horrific experiences. She will be ending her practice for a time (expecting her first child!) but every encounter with her is just so wonderful. She treats you as a person, not a patient and you feel as if you are actually being looked after.
>For a terrific home health aide. I could not manage without her. Seriously. She's not here 24/7 but the hours when she is here, I feel so much less stress.
>For having people in my life that I deeply care about and love. I can't imagine a world where we don't have people that we love in it. (And having had "friends" leave at the toughest times of my life, after decades of friendship, with no explanation, something that never stops hurting but you learn to manage and deal with, you appreciate even more those who choose to be present and for whom you do the same.)
>That for all the things in life that do not work properly, that some still do.
>That we have had some lovely weather, albeit a drought now with local fires (not fortunately on the level of forest fires around th country)
>That we have access to all kinds of information and resources via the Internet. Yes, there is plenty of not so healthy stuff out there and social media has its plusses and minuses, for sure but we do have access to what we want when we want it.
>For public transportation and not needing a car. HUGE difference in terms of access.
>For the availability of audio and ebooks from our libraries for those of us who can't get out to pick up print copies.
>For the various ways we can save money. Just this week, there was a $40 off $80 purchase that included different types of stores. That's saving 50% plus what I saved in only ordering items on sale. We're talking a huge savings for the fresh food and pantry items. And, yes, one does have to be careful about these promo offers lest you be tempted to buy what you do not need. I use offers like this to try some food items I might not ordinarily spend on. I can't justify the regular or even sale prices but with a 50% discount, I can try one or two items with no guilt.
>I am grateful for your blog. It helps us feel good about being careful with our spending, has lots of ideas and tips, from you and the followers, and it's lovely to see your progress in creating a new and fulfilling life for yourself. You are exactly the kind of individual who will make a terrific nurse. You're an inspiration!
While I think the phrase “it’s ok to not be ok” is overused/misused it sounds like that phrase would be good for you this week. Feeling blue is never enjoyable, but we can’t appreciate the highs if we don’t experience the lows.
This week I’m thankful:
Our puppy is meshing well with our family. He has this little quirk where he picks someone and decides to be their shadow. He takes turns with everyone in the house so we all feel his love. Our older dog is starting to warm up (very slowly) as well. Yesterday I saw the older dog instigating a game of tug.
We hosted our first dinner party in our new house. It was fun to have our house filled with so much positive energy when all our guests arrived.
The work being done in our backyard is mostly finished and we can let the dogs in the backyard again. Our older dog doesn’t like walking at night so having the backyard available to him again is making his life easier.
Winter soccer season has started! Our schedule is going to be hectic again but my son thrives when he spends time with his team.
As always, thankful for the little things: puppy/dog snuggles, time with my family, books, homecooked meals, the wood behind our house, good friends.
I'm sorry to hear you are feeling down. Hope you feel better soon.
Thankful for:
*Physical therapy and medicine. I had a wrist that was really hurting. After some anti-inflammatory meds and several weeks of PT, it's feeling much better.
*As always, my husband. He is truly my best friend.
*Our furnace being back in working order! (thanks to my hubby using Youtube university) Our furnace is original to the house, and it needs replaced, but we are not quite to the savings level to do it right now. Very hopeful we can make it through the winter.
*My adult kids. It is fun to be in more of a friend than parent role.
*My workplace. I have amazing coworkers!
Keep hanging in there, Kristen ❤️
It’s been a rough week here, too, for some reasons I can share and other reasons best kept to myself.
Thankful for an extended family-by-marriage that gets along well enough to make a group weekend camping trip not just tolerable, but quite enjoyable (and I am not a camper).
Not thankful that a crown came off during that trip that ultimately required extraction of the remnants of the tooth underneath and an implant when my mouth has healed, but thankful that my husband and I have sufficient resources to pay for the implant (dental insurance covers very little of the total cost and it is $$$$).
Thankful to be on stage this week, performing one of the greatest orchestral expressions of the human spirit ever written.
Thankful to have some restful time today.
Thankful for the life and example of my father, whose funeral was exactly 19 years ago today and whose 100th birthday is later this month.
Thankful:
1. Rain in Northern California.
2. TRX classes.
3. a phone full of numbers of high quality women to call at anytime for any reason
4. chess.com
5. my 89 yer old mom who dressed like a giant pumpkin and went to her chair yoga class passing out candy on Halloween.
@Mary Ann, Ooooo, I loved TRX when we had it as an exercise option. It kicked my tail in the best way.
Hugs!
Kristen,
Thank you so much for lifting me each day. You really do!
There are a lot of things to get us down these days...The holidays are here and with family issues going on that is a stressor. Some of us keep getting older and must deal with all the related health issues. Reading/watching the news with all the turmoil in the world is heartbreaking. The time change with the shorter days and long dark nights. It gets cold. I love summer with the heat and the long days. All the worrying about my grown children and their trials and challenges.
So, thanks again for being there for each of us each day. Count the blessings.
Sorry you're feeling blue, FG. It's been a difficult few weeks here too but you're right - flexing the gratitude muscle is an exercise that makes us all stronger and healthier. Thanks for opening the opportunity for us all to have a little group workout!
-Thankful that I can wear sweaters, cozy pants, and slippers. They are so comforting to me this time of the year.
-That my husband made it through a big round of layoffs at his workplace. He unfortunately lost 6 people on his team. If he had lost his job, we would likely need to move.
-That my mom is strong and mobile. She had back surgery unexpectedly a couple months ago and she's really handled it like a champ.
-For my job - I've worked at over 15 places throughout my life and my current employer is really special and generous and their mission aligns with my values. I need to do better there.
-Due to a combination of circumstance, my efforts and other people's efforts, I've been seeing and talking to a bunch of people that I haven't for a while. It felt awkward to me to reach out when so much time had lapsed but I'm glad I did it and I'm glad others invited us over. I think I've been squirreling away on my own and I need people in my life so I'm thankful for them and thankful that the initial awkwardness wasn't so bad that I am scared off from trying to reach out to others. It feels good to be there for people.
Sending you love!
I, too, am very depressed. Recent news events are such that I realize that I am experiencing grief for my country and its form of government, which I believe may be in its final days. I hope this is not too political for you, but the mood here is very, very dark---like experiencing a death in the family. I am thankful for others who are quietly commenting that they, too, feel this way. One told me, "All we can do is pray." Thank God for caring friends and a supportive community to carry us through a dark and dismal time.
--For the nice officer at the credit union helping me set up a new account. Their ATM card is free anywhere I use it, and their ATM works. Unlike the bank, which hasn't had its ATM working in months, and where I get charged for using other ATMs.
--Eggnog at Walmart. Taste of the season!
--Perfect weather and sunny afternoons.
-- Warm coffee in the morning.
@Fru-gal Lisa, I am with you, have never prayed more for my country.
@Fru-gal Lisa, I am also with you and it's not even my country! Community will be more important than ever.
@Cheryl and @Fru-gal Lisa, see my comment above about lighting one candle for DH and one for the country in the winter's dark hours. I'm starting to think of switching it to two for the country. DH, I hope and trust, is in a better place. The country...well...
@Cheryl, Thank you. It helps to know I'm not the only one who hasn't drunk the Koolaid. The Old Testament tells of many kings who were absolutely horrible and turned away from God. Seems like history is repeating itself, not only from biblical times but also in Germany circa the 1930s and 40s. So many people blindly following. Definitely will be praying!
@A. Marie,
Yes. Exactly.
@Sophie in Denmark,
Thank you for caring. This whole thing may affect the entire world, esp. Ukraine. I'm praying for the Ukranians, as well.
@A. Marie, Fru-gal Lisa, We need both candles for sure, A. Marie, and all the good-hearted people we can find.
@Fru-gal Lisa, there was an episode of a show on PBS last week (on Native America). The episode was titled "resistance, survival, revival" - that is my mantra. While I know it will be a struggle for some who don't deserve, it is a bit of schadenfreude for those who did not do their due diligence. I'd best stop right now.
We will get through this - my 5Great grandfather did not fight in the Revolutionary War for nothing. His direct line has survived ever since then.
@Fru-gal Lisa, I hate how the choices of the US affect other countries. I am also terrified for Ukraine and for Gaza.
Hi Kristen,
I am sorry you've been feeling down. It's been a rough week for many of us. I'm glad you have a therapist and friends to talk to. I went out with a friend last night and we talked for 3 hours. It was very therapeutic and my energy felt brighter afterwards.
I'm glad your semester is drawing to a close soon. You've got this!!
That second picture of Chiquita is just adorable. She looks like she, too, is a little sad right now!
This seems to be a blue time for many; I was wondering why I felt so blah yesterday and uninspired to do anything. Then I realized this morning that today is my mother's 80th birthday; we've been estranged (her choice) for nearly 25 years. And she managed to turn my father and the entire extended family against me, so they are all afraid to talk to me...sigh. I remind myself that she's the one missing out, really.
When I'm feeling that way I sometimes just spur myself on, with either an organizing project some really miserable cleaning project. I have a wonderful book by Peg Bracken, called "I Hate to Housekeep" and one of her tips is, when you're in the dumps, take on a miserable job you hate, on the principle that you might as well, because you're already grumpy. Yesterday it was mopping. Today I might clean the oven. Tomorrow, a deep clean of the bathrooms before the weekend. You get the picture. That way at least I'll feel productive! And well justified in curling up at night with a good book. Or an episode of Criminal Minds.
@Karen A., I'm sorry about the family estrangement. I enjoy your comments about your nuclear family (your DH, your "My Three Sons," and of course Clark), and I'm glad you've got them.
I want to say sorry that you're feeling blue, but that isn't quite the right sentiment. I guess I would just recall the Pooh story where he and Piglet just hang out with Eeyore when he was feeling blue to let him know they were there for him. We're all here, hanging out with you in your blue-ness.
I'm thankful for:
*friends who like to do crafty things
*all the things that heat up indoor spaces (furnaces, space heaters, boilers, etc)
*being able to take paid vacation
*great coworkers
*ice cubes (I love ice water)
*a partner who turns on the outdoor lights for me because I'm out early and late
*a podcast that is making me think new thoughts
*the YMCA who has early morning classes (so early!)
*knowing that I have the ability and incentive to change my attitude about some things in life
*holiday lights being put up
Kristen, sending you a {{{ h u g }}}. When I was going thru a horrible, no good, just plain awful time about 3 years ago, my friend suggested I search out and make a happy soundtrack to lift me or encourage me to do those challenging tasks. Rachmaninov – Piano Concerto No.3, John Williams "Superman", "Walking on Sunshine", etc. obnoxiously happy music!
I also have a reflection soundtrack that I like to journal to. Kitty therapy is the best.
For Christmas, I asked the college kids in the family to share their favorite songs list that can be of any genre/decade.
Today is my Dad's birthday, I am picking the last of the roses to put on his grave and will make another bouquet for my Mom's bedroom sitting area.
Thankful that we had 70 mph winds that took the remaining oak leaves off the trees in the back yard. Now my nephew can clean the gutters, blow off the roof and apply the safe roof cleaner crystals before the next big storm next week.
Today I am baking off gingerbread for our annual gingerbread house/structure party we have during Thanksgiving Day. Such an awesome smell.
Minestrone Soup, fresh baked bread and Kale salad for dinner. So comforting!
Not frugal, but made my feet happy...bought on clearance a pair of hunting boots that are so comfortable. I wear out a pair every 2 years or so, I use them as work/hiking boots for the cattle ranch and tree farm.
I am done freaking out as I get my home ready for out of state guests this weekend. A song playing in my head..."Take Me as I Am". I am hopelessly reminded that both families have house cleaning services and do not live on a working ranch. They love to visit because it is different from their everyday lives. I got out my fresh this year batch of V-8 juice. Just thinking of opening the jars makes me smile. Have a great Thursday!
I’m thankful for Roses in inhospitable places.
We appreciate your honesty, Kristen! It’s one of the things that keeps us coming back- you are a real genuine person with a range of emotions.
This week, I’m thankful for:
- improving health of my kids after a doozy of a cold
- the means to self pay for an urgent care visit while we are between insurances at the moment
- my husband gets to go on a cool hunting trip with his uncle and two cousins. He doesn’t get much quality time with guys and I hope it is a great time for them
- my boss is flexible and chill- I had a last minute childcare cancellation and she just rolled with it and let me do what I could over the phone with the client. Also thankful that the client was understanding about the change of plan!
-our steer broke through the fence earlier this week, but stayed nearby and came right away when he heard me getting out the grain. Could’ve been much worse!!
This year seems to be flying by and your semester truly seems to be going by quickly! I’m sorry you’re feeling down but I’m glad Lisey’s music helped you with your workout. Music and exercise can be very uplifting. I hope tomorrow finds you feeling more positive and/or that situations change to help you feel more hopeful.
I’m thankful things are coming together well for one of my sisters who is moving this weekend.
I’m thankful for good health and strength.
I’m thankful for a Christmas concert we’ll be able to attend in a few weeks.
I’m so grateful for a recent visit with our grandson. He is delightful and the visit was wonderful!
Hej all, we dont use our printer very much. Fot that type of frequency my best printer tip is to remove the ink cartridge after printing and keep it in a zip lock bag until next use. I've spent a lot of money on replacing dried out cartridges, and this works really well.
Today is the anniversary of my first wedding! Thankful I was able to get a divorce. Thankful my children did not suffer further abuse. Thankful I am alive. Thankful to have married again to a wonderful man. Thankful for the counselors and support to get me where I am today.
I have to remind myself to be thankful, too Kristen! Sometimes that reminder comes from you! Thank-You! Just wanted to mention when I feel blue, it's often when I've had to miss a work-out or a walk; and I noticed you mentioned missing your outside time - maybe that's all it is (smile)... hopefully you're feeling brighter even as you read this note! You are loved. Hang on: you are So. Close. to a huge accomplishment being fulfilled!!
p.s. Thanks for the tip from reader about storing less-often used ink cartridges!!
Kristen, I hope you know how many of your readers put you and this blog on their thankful lists. I do!
Wishing a better day for you tomorrow. ❤️
I think possibly what is affecting you could be seasonal affective disorder--the early darkness and the change in weather. It makes for long nights.
I find weekends are tough for me. There are so many things that can be done but I don't like doing it alone. I need to make the weekends more creative.
1. Our Monday Morning walks. It's a great way to start the week.
2. Last night I was able to take my grandson to a STEM night at the local college. It was a free event. It was interesting observing and listening to other attendees and their children. It was fun working with my grandson at one of the areas solving problems.
3. Friends and I are taking a course through the Senior College program at our local university. Keeping Your Mind Sharp As You Age Some classes are through zoom but this class is in person at a senior center in another town. Today we went down early and had lunch at this center. It was a fun day.
4. My cousin is back up from Hilton Head and tomorrow I am having lunch with her and other friends, some I graduated with and others who were behind us in school. It should be fun.
5. I had a nice visit with my sister-in-law, who is in assisted living now. Her son and daughter-in-law showed up while I was there. And I also met a resident there, who I worked with for many, many years.
Sending you a hug. I had a boutique of the blues today, too. Cried at the aquarium, then had the joy of chatting with a little girl all dressed up to meet the mermaid. Life is so full of wonderful moments when we let ourselves embrace them.
Best,
Sarah
Seems to be a blue time of the year, even my DIL mentioned how depressed she has been lately, me too. For me, time change and the lack of light gets to me.
Thankful for our work lunch and lots of laughter. Such a funny group I work with.
That my boss stresses that mental health is as important as physical health. We have demanding jobs and it is stressful.
That my oldest pup still asks to go for walks, although they have to be kept short or you have to carry him. He will be 14 soon.
For our youngest pup who follows me everywhere and is really good with the grand kids.
I sing to him "Me and my shhhhaaadddowww".
For my kids encouraging us all to share our health app fitness portion. My youngest has lost 30 pounds already and I am walking more.
It’s good to be reminded to be thankful even when going through tough times 🙂
I’m thankful for …
1) Our alphabet thankful list. My kids came up with the idea to name one thing each of us are thankful for starting with a letter from the alphabet. It’s a great idea since it helps teach thankfulness for Thanksgiving.
2) Traditions like watching ‘Charlie Brown Thanksgiving’ with my kids.
3) Family game night. Hoping to do this more often.
4) Books. I’ve started reading again and have been enjoying it.
5) Dark chocolate. I have a bag of dark chocolates gifted to me and have been really loving them.
Wishing you well!
I'm thankful:
-That today was my last radiation treatment! What a relief, and quite surreal.
-For just one more week until a week off at Thanksgiving, and the end of my semester in sight too!
-For so much support from family and friends.
-For the majority of my students, who are LOVELY. I have the privilege of interacting with so many young people. It's easy to hear how terrible everything is among the youth. True, some things are rough! But just like in every generation, there are many "normal" to above average kids in attributes like being kind, empathetic, hardworking, etc.
-For the Wendy's cashier who clued us in that a small chili can be subbed for the fries in a Biggie Bag (sneaky frugal thing in thankful Thursday lol, but I was hyped).
Yay for an end to radiation!!
i'm sorry you're feeling blue but it happens sometimes. there are better days ahead for you frugal girl almost rn i can promise you that. our 3yr old cockapoo has had chronic loose stool forever. hubby and i took him to bklyn on the subway to our old vet who treated my cats before i moved to manhattan. it was so nice to see him. one day later with meds and different food our buddy is on the mend.
I hope the lighter blue lightens and lightens, Kristen. I feel blue and disappointed by election results, and discouraged about our national future. But there is a silver lining in most events that seem to be catastrophes, which are my thankfuls this week:
* our affectionate adopted cat, who purrs and snores and sighs on my lap every morning.
* for my reliable washing machine and dryer, which have done yeoman work this week.
* for the efficient operation of our new furnace, which we bought in emergency mode from a young man who looked way too young to be selling furnaces.
* for my piano teacher, who is supportive and encouraging even when my progress is painfully slow.
* and for my sister and brother-in-law, who are traveling across the U.S. for the first family Thanksgiving we have had in a very long time.
Huh, just realized it's Thankful Thursday. Better late than never.
I'm sorry you are feeling blue, and I appreciate your honesty.
Thankful for good work buddies, for my friendly but non-affectionate cat actually sitting by me and letting me pet her today, for a good Bible study with my young adult group, for a little gift surprise that two of the group members got me (so sweet to think of me), and for my 1-month freebie Amazon Prime membership. I've been trying to get my Christmas shopping done ... and my husband and I are trying to watch all of the Rings of Power episodes before the membership expires!
Sorry to hear you are having a tough time. This time of year can be tricky for many for a number of reasons, but realising that you are having a tough time is the first step to working through it.
A couple of sayings that I try to keep hold of are (para-phrasing)
- remember that you have made it through 100% of your bad days so far
- you are stronger than you think and even on the darkest days you are doing great
I like those!
Kristen, you are really inspiring! I cannot imagine going back to school (let alone becoming a nurse and enduring those crazy hours!) and overcoming the other life challenges you have faced. I am continually impressed - HUGE kudos to you!!! I so appreciate your realness. I have been feeling blue myself, and while I don't want others to feel that way, there is some comfort in knowing I am not alone in those feelings. Thank you for your blog and your bright personality! It really does bring joy to my mornings. I am thankful for YOU!
I am so glad it helped for me to share. I hope both of us feel less blue soon, but we can at least commiserate in the meantime!
I am happy to know there are other people who feel blue and continue to go on. So often, I really have to work hard to find thankful things when I am so down. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for this. Much needed. <3