"Teach me how to be frugal!" (in 10 steps)
Sometimes when I meet people and they find out that I blog about saving money, they say something like, "Oh, teach me! What are your best tips?"
I can send them to my site, of course, but it's not like what I've created here is a step-by-step guide to saving money. It's more like...a place on the internet where you go to slowly absorb frugality. 😉
Soooo, I thought I should maybe provide a Cliff's Notes type of starter guide that I can send people to. Then they can have a quick summary of my brand of money-saving strategies.
First, a few things that do not mark my frugal strategies:
I'm not here for being miserable
A life of deprivation is not my goal. What is the point of accumulating money if your efforts are making your everyday life full of misery?
If you met me in real life and you hadn't read my blog, you probably wouldn't know I live a frugal life, and that's because my life is, well, pretty nice!
I have a pleasantly decorated home, I have good clothes, I eat delicious food, I have a reliable car, I go on trips...I just know how to do these things inexpensively. 🙂
I'm not here for extreme frugality
I could save more money than I do, for sure. But being frugal is not the utmost priority in my life, so I'm not a hard and fast stickler about squeezing every last drop out of every dollar.
I'm not here for selfishness
Sometimes frugality crosses the line into miserly selfishness, and that's not what I want. Part of the reason I save money is so that I have extra to give to others. Generosity and frugality can co-exist.
If I live simply, I can have more to share with others.
____________________
Ok! Let's roll on to what my frugality does look like.
1. I try to eat at home/bring food from home 95% of the time
Food from the grocery store is almost always the cheapest way to feed yourself, and it's usually healthier too.
2. I lean slightly minimalist
I am not hard-core about it, but I keep my possessions somewhat limited.
To state the obvious, if you can be happy owning less, then you will not need to buy a lot of things.
3. When I buy, I buy quality
I avoid fast fashion, cheap jewelry, particle-board furniture, pleather shoes/furniture (they flake and peel and there's no way to fix that!), cheap cookware, and so on.
I almost always ask myself a variation of, "Could this be an heirloom?", which basically means: Will this item last?
Sometimes this means I spend more on the front end, but such a choice often ends up being a money-saving choice in the long run.
My minivan is a case in point: A Toyota Sienna is not the bargain basement option, but I bought mine in 2012 and it has never, ever had a mechanical problem. It has only required maintenance. That's a crazy money-saver!
And it's the same story with my blender, my cookware, and so many other belongings.
4. I always look for a free/second-hand option
I can often find quality second-hand items for free, or at least for a discount.
I snag free items on my Buy Nothing group or on Facebook Marketplace and I find second-hand items at places like eBay, Facebook Marketplace, or thrift stores.
I am finicky about what I will pick up and buy, always looking for a high-quality, long-lasting option. Patience is key here.
5. I fix/maintain/repair whenever I can
For example:
- I mend my clothes and household linens
- I glue shoe soles back on
- I order replacement parts for things (when it makes sense to do so)
- I use a fabric shaver on my clothes
- I separate my laundry by color (no dingy whites for me!)
- I wash my clothes in cold water (helps them last longer)
- I use paint to refresh a million and one things
Tagging onto a previous point: since I try to own high-quality items, they are usually repairable.
For instance, you can fix a shelf on a solid wood piece of furniture; particle board is harder to fix.
You can polish leather shoes; pleather shoes are useless once they peel and flake.
6. I avoid waste
I work super hard at avoiding food waste (food-waste fighting is what got me into blogging, actually!), and I also avoid most disposable products (toilet paper being a strong exception.)
I use almost no paper towels; instead, I rely on cloth kitchen towels, dishcloths, and t-shirt rags.
Other examples:
- I use chicken bones to make broth
- I store food almost exclusively in reusable containers
- I stick the last bit of bar soap onto the next bar
- I squeeze the last bit of toothpaste out
- I turn containers upside down to get to the last bits
- I dump salad spinner water into my potted plants
These practices save money (especially the food waste one!), but they're also good for the earth, and I would likely do them even if a million dollars got dropped in my lap.
7. I work apps/deals/rewards
If you had to choose something on this list to skip, I'd recommend this one, mainly because it takes some time to get good at this, and the savings are small sometimes.
Practices that fall into this category:
- using cashback shopping portals, such as TopCashback
- using CVS's monthly Carepass offer
- redeeming birthday rewards
- using specific payment cards to optimize rewards (for example, I have one that gives me 5% on groceries, my Target debit card gives me 5% off, my Royal Farms debit card reduces my gas price, and I have another credit card that is my basic general spending reward card)
- Using Gasbuddy and Upside to save on gas tank fill-ups
8. I avoid optional repeating expenses
I do pay rent (ha), but by optional, I mean I don't:
- dye my gray hair*
- get my nails done*
- subscribe to multiple streaming services
- pay credit card interest (I only use them to buy items I already have the money for)
*Related: my beauty routine (if you could call it that) is very simple, and that cuts down on recurring expenses. I don't pay for nails, lashes, botox, fillers, facials, and the like. I know these are a priority for some people, but they are not for me, so it's an easy way to save!
9. I always think, "Hmm, how could I make this less expensive?"
This is not a specific tactic, but more of a mindset. I approach most things in life with this question, and generally, there is some type of way to get it cheaper!
For instance, if I want to read a book, I check my library for the title. If my library doesn't have it, I check for inter-library loan. If that doesn't work, I hop on eBay and try to find a used copy (and then promptly sell it when I'm done!)
If I want to eat granola (and I do) and I don't want to pay the ridiculous prices stores charge (for heaven's sake it is mostly oatmeal), I make it myself.
This granola requires no stirring while baking, and you can throw it together in just a few minutes.
I wanted a gym membership, so I joined the public one run by the city, and I paid the entire year in advance for a discount.
You do kinda need a smartphone in this day and age...so I bought a refurbished one (I like Amazon Warehouse Deals for this), put a good case/screen protector on it (it's frugal to not break your phone), and I use Mint Mobile for my cell service because it's crazy cheap!
10. I do not, not, not buy things I can't afford
I know sometimes circumstances force people into debt, and I will say, I was close to having $0 to my name by the time my divorce was final.
But aside from extenuating circumstances, I do not choose to buy something I don't have the money for, and that means I don't carry debt.
It's kind of like how it never even crosses my mind to turn in a school assignment late; that feels impossibly out of the question. And so does buying something I don't have the money for.
I recognize that this comes partially from a place of privilege, so please don't hear me judging you if necessary expenses have sent you into debt. I'm just saying that when it comes to optional things, I'm solidly in favor of saying no until you have the money for them.
And going back to something I said before: I can usually find a way to get the thing I want for free or cheap, so for me, staying out of debt does not mean living a deprived life. I just have to be creative!
Bonus item (slightly controversial): I don't drink alcohol
Alcohol is expensive.
I don't like the way it tastes.
I don't like the way it makes me feel.
And I see more and more studies coming out saying it is just not good for our bodies in any amount (the way alcohol affects our brains is particularly scary to me; I would like to do everything I can to save my brain cells as I age!)
I love the way it feels to be sober and in my right mind*. And there are plenty of other good options to drink that are cheaper and healthier.
*As I tell my children, no one has ever ended up in a compromising situation as a direct result of drinking, say, iced tea. 😉
If you want to save money and improve your health at the same time, do consider cutting back or eliminating alcohol. Your body and your wallet will both benefit, so it's a win-win. 🙂
Cultivate an attitude of contentment through gratitude. When you practice being thankful for what you have, you become more content, and then you're less likely to spend on things you wish would make you happy (but won't).
@Jody S., This!!!
To be frugal, make do with what you have when you can. Shop your own place before buying something new.
Be prepared to wait for that thing you really want - it's hard, but sometimes you realize you don't need/want it, and if you do get it, it's very satisfying. (I'm looking for a big glass/Pyrex mixing bowl to replace one I dropped. I can live with stuff I have, so I'm browsing the thrift stores for just what I want. One will show up someday!)
Trying borrowing an item if it's a short term need , instead of buying it. ( Looking at you, certain power tools!)
@mbmom11,
I was reminded last Saturday that a local "big city" has a tool bank, where you can borrow various tools. Brilliant! DH has a lot of tools, mostly from his dad and gifts (Christmas and birthday), but good to know we can borrow what we don't have if we need it!
A willingness to learn is an important part of frugality to me. I went from zero gardening knowledge to a well-kept jungle that helps feed us in three years, thanks to books and mentoring friends. I likewise learned how to refinish floors and do minor house repairs thanks to the bevy of instructions on the internet. Ditto repainting my car myself, which is handily the same process needed for my current project: refinishing our future cast iron bathtub! My brain enjoys being tickled in new ways, so I gamify tasks into knowledge rabbit holes whenever possible.
Find like minded friends. Yesterday a friend and I walked despite the heat. Today I'll take my lunch to a friend's house (since I eat GF it is just easier). Tomorrow a friend will come over in the afternoon for a chat.
Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good (enough).
I find reading historical fiction makes me appreciate how much easier our lives are now than at almost any time in history.
@K D,
Friends can make a big difference! One of my kids ran into financial issues in college because they hung around friend from affluent background- take out every day instead of cooking, running up credit card debt, etc. It was not pretty. Still isn't 🙁
You are right....I feel much better eating low carb/no sugar/no grain --so I often pack or at least have something to supplement whatever is offered.
Just easier.....
@J in NC,
We are long time friends and she great at hosting but this is easier for both of us. The point is to spend time together.
@K D, I have a friend like this. We like to get together to chat and craft. Sometimes, she fixes something for the two of us; other times, I do; often, we just bring our own. Occasionally, we go out, but that is pretty rare! We trade off whose house and I try to combine errands with my visits to her.
11. Being frugal calls for patience; it is the anti-impulse. Patience to pause before deciding if you really need (or want) something. Patience to wait for it on Buy Nothing/Freecycle/etc. Patience to wait for a good price.
12. Being frugal means spending time. Whether it's cooking dinner instead of getting take-out, fixing clothing instead of taking it to the cleaners or - horrors! - buying a new one, or mowing your own lawn instead of hiring someone; making do means taking some time.
13. Sometimes being frugal means being a bit awkward in public. It could be checking the change slot in a coin machine, or taking something out of someone's trash, or poking through a dumpster. So gird your loins and be prepared to maybe get stared at a bit. You get used to it.
@WilliamB,
I love your number 11: Patience/anti-impulse. That is not what people/companies selling things want you to practice but it is a productive trait.
Your other points are spot on as well.
@K D, thank you kindly. I've learned a lot from this group.
I find that when I want to impulse buy something that it somehow works for me to put it on my running wish list and this allows me to shelve it for another day while also acknowledging the desire and not necessarily denying myself the purchase. Frequently when I revisit the list in the future I find the item no longer has the same allure and I don't buy it.
As others have mentioned, being frugal frequently means time and effort. While there are seasons in your life when you might not have that and you need to spend money just to get through it, the best way for me to maintain the time and effort is to spread them out if possible and planning. Making food at home for me involves planning meals, buying food, cooking food, cleaning up, etc. I have consistent times for planning meals (sunday evening), buying food (monday morning after a specific work meeting), and then I make sure that I am not having to cook every day by cooking larger batches of food and freezing some for a future meal or for leftovers. I think out of all the tips, cooking at home gives the biggest bang for your buck while also being in some ways the hardest because it's repetitive and daunting for someone who may not have the cooking skills at first.
@Ally, Your running list reminds me of what I did when my children were small. They’d really want something at the store and I’d ask them if they wanted to put it in their Christmas/Birthday list. We’d take a photo for the list. By the time a birthday or Christmas came around, they had typically moved on and no longer wanted the item.
Be willing to have that hard conversation with family or friends who insist on perpetuating practices that are costly and unnecessary. While it's nice to give and receive gifts, some folks in my circle don't have the budget to exchange gifts regularly and we all lead fairly simple lives and don't need much anyway. We agreed to no longer exchange them and although some were resistant at first, they all agree now it's for the better.
@AnnieH,
I was once a member of a friend group in Sunday School in which not only at Xmas but also every birthday, holiday (Valentines, Easter, etc.) and start/end of school meant you'd get gift bags full of little goodies. And you'd have to give the same. Finally, one gal had the courage to speak up and say "none for me, I have enough stuff and frankly, I can't afford it." The others all chimed in and said they, too, would like to discontinue the practice. So we agreed that instead of goodie bags, we'd all go out to lunch and we'd go Dutch. Or we'd just exchange greeting cards. It worked out much better for all concerned! (Esp. since I got a lot of cards from estate sales and thrift stores...yes, they were new/unwritten on....or, at worst, from the store that sold 'em 2 for a dollar back then.)
Another friend has a huge extended family and instead of exchanging gifts at Xmas, they all go out and do some kind of volunteer work around the holidays. They might serve meals at a soup kitchen, or hand out sandwiches and toiletries to the homeless, or paint a room at the senior daycare center. A different project every year, but they have a lot of fun, she says.
@Fru-gal Lisa,
I know a large family are creative gift-givers. One year they gave each other 40 hours of labor. They spent a weekend a month working on a project for a family member. They demoed a kitchen, resodded a yard, repainted the outside of a house, and put down wood flooring. I thought this was wonderful. 8 people can get a lot done.
@Fru-gal Lisa, Within my immediate family we just do a few small stocking stuffers and it's usually a consumable like peanuts or dried fruit, and a little chocolate. For everyone else we send cards and I usually buy my after the holidays when they are at least half price to use the next year.
@Bee, When my mom was alive she didn't want gifts unless they were small consumables. By her 70s she already had all she needed and then some. My husband and I gave her the gift of cooking and freezing meals for her to just heat and eat. She loved it! She would make us bread, I really miss her bread...
@AnnieH,
Great gift idea. My sister would freeze leftovers in meal sized portions for my mom. My mom loved it.
@Bee,
Oh, that is BRILLIANT! No telling how much that family saved one another, but I'm sure it'd be several hundreds of dollars, if not thousands!
I just had some work done on my house, stuff I absolutely could not do myself, and it really added up. Looked almost as bad as the national debt.
@Bee, I so love this idea, which I tried to get some folks I know to participate in. It makes sense to give our time and services (yes, time is at a premium for some folks, who have more money than time...hence gifts).
And I especially like when a family or friends volunteer to help others outside their circle.
Bringing your own food or lunches, etc. can be a problem depending on your job. I worked for decades in a business where I was in/out of the office and client's offices and there was NO WAY I could carry around food (Public and crowded transportation) let alone know if there would be a place to refrigerate or heat up food as needed.
(I would NOT be eating in a client's office kitchen, even if it had one.)
And also, when you cook for one, food waste is very hard to avoid. You can only eat so much and as I aged and have health issues, I eat even less but still find myself with say fresh veggies expiring before I can eat them in a 7 day period. (And my freezer only holds so much.) It's also complicated because whatever I get has to be from a delivery (I can't shop on my own) and there are minimums, delivery charges and tips. It adds up.
But I refuse to beat myself up. I also keep a pantry and have managed to both save money for me and help out friends. (I am constantly asking anyone who comes over "Do you need any X, Y, Z? I've got some to spare."
When, on rare occasions, (Each month I go through the pantry to find items expiring in the next two months to incorporate in weekly cooking/eating), I cannot keep pace with the pantry, donations are made to local food banks.
For several decades, I worked in businesses/industries where one's appearance had to meet certain standards. I invested in some well tailored, conservative jackets and pants and suits that, over 20 years later, I'm still wearing! (I did the whole fashion of the moment thing in my 20s and then I was done! On to classics in fabric, tailoring, style.)
I, too, believe in getting the best (and long lasting) in all sorts of items. I got a set of Le Creuset Pots from 1985 (They were $125 at the time, which was unheard of. Today, you can't even buy much of any Le Creuset at that price. It was three dutch ovens, different sizes, and two other pieces you could use to bake with. Plus the lids.) They are still in excellent condition and I could easily sell them second hand and make more back than I paid!
Well made anything is my preferred way to go and also to repair, fix, reuse. It makes me crazy mad when something I've only owned a few years just dies and can't be repaired at less than it would cost to replace. (Example: Once upon a time, sheets and towels were top quality. I still have some from the 1970s (Not lying) while sheets that are less than two years old have holes in them!
As we aged, and over time, as our circumstances, friends went the "no gifts" route (but,on occasion, out of the blue, surprising someone with something we may have found in a thrift shop or second hand elsewhere but in sterling condition) and focused more on time spent together.
I spent a bloody fortune over the years with shower presents (wedding, baby), wedding presents, baby presents and the like. As the only single person in the group, I was never the recipient of presents with the exception of one friend who gifted me with a household small appliance when I moved into what became my "life" apartment. I didn't begrudge the gifts but after years of it, I just cut way back. Now, I do still give gifts for a friend who may be in need and can't spring for something essential. And am happy when I can do it.
In a perfect world, we'd all only use credit cards and pay off all each month. But we don't live in a world where even hard working folks don't get paid enough to cover basic, and not luxury, living expenses.
I am grateful that we at least have options in some cases to save money. Because with everything costing more, more adjustments will need to be made. Every day, it seems, a new piece of information saying this or that is going up.
This is a great frugal primer. I do nearly everything on this list. Overtime,
I think frugal people develop their own kind of thrift. I would add two things to the frugal list:
Do things yourself whenever possible and when it makes sense to do so. I see my neighbors paying to have their dogs washed, houses cleaned, pictures hung, plants watered, cars vacuumed, and lightbulbs changed.
Practice oversight and be proactive. Review your monthly bills. Billing mistakes happen. Get more than one estimate when appropriate. Shop for things such as insurance.
@Bee, Time is also money and, depending on one's income, it often is better (and less expensive as you are not losing work time/salary/etc) for a person to pay for things to be done. Some folks have such demanding work, that they simply don't have time to do these things. Also, let's be honest, some folks are not good with DIY. They end up messing things up worse and still having to pay someone to fix the original problem and the mess they created.
I admit to great satisfaction when I was able to do certain things myself. But wise enough to know when it was NOT a good idea to try to do other things. And to find the best I could afford to fix something (Looking at you external hard drive!)
Put the word out if you need something. I have found things for others and they have found things for me in thrift stores, being given away, etc. This assumes you have friends and/or family who are into being frugal, too, which is an important thing to have, if possible.
Don't let increased income, should you get it, be taken up with lifestyle inflation. Sure, rising prices will take some of it, but continue to live as you were living, if at all possible, even if more income comes your way. Try to build your savings whenever possible.
As someone for whom external causes, especially medical, threw me/us back into debt after having clawed our way out of debt entirely, I do understand what you are saying about debt, Kristen, and of course I'm not feeling offended. I know you know that sometimes, life throws us curve balls one after another and it overwhelms our available resources. But when there is an actual choice in the matter, make the frugal choice - don't go into debt when you could just wait a bit longer and pay in cash (figuratively).
@JD, darlin', I hear you on the medical/long-term care debt. I was lucky enough not to incur any during my DH's long decline--but his long-term care insurance still didn't cover everything, and I found myself skating on thin financial ice more than once. ((Hugs.))
And a word of warning to all US readers: This is as close to politics as I'm going to get on this blog, but the current and probable future US administrations are going to move our already dire health care/elder care situations into the disaster zone. Make sure you can take care of yourselves if need be, because the government sure isn't going to.
@JD, "Put the word out if you need something."
I need something! My daughter is sewing a pair of shorts using NewLook pattern #6289, and we can't find the elastic guide pattern piece anywhere. Does anybody have this pattern? If so, could you measure how long the elastic guide needs to be for size 18. OR can somebody point me to an online resource where I can find this information? (I guess this project won't be finished today, after all.)
@Jody S., those are super cute! I don't have that pattern, but I'd suggest trying a length that's 2 inches smaller than her waist, and then adjusting as needed. I usually pin the elastic together with a safety pin and "wear" it for a few minutes, sitting and standing and walking to check for comfort, and adjust as needed.
Also, to make you smile: I was looking to see if there was a good article to link for you, and I came across one that was quite clearly written by AI...they suggest 1.5 times your waist measurement! I guess that would work if you want to wear the waistband around your ankles.
@Meira (meirathebear.wordpress.com), Yay, AI! Humans will NOT be entirely obsolete. Thank you for the tip.
The good news is that she just found the piece in the Lincoln Log container; I guess that's what happens sometimes when the toy area is also your sewing area!
@JD, We, too, had to climb out of debt caused by my husband's cancer and then my own catastrophic illness that is still costing us money but not at the rate it once did. There are legions of us out here, sometimes feeling so overwhelmed that suicide seems like an option so we don't bankrupt the partner or family left behind. And yet Congress does not seem to hear our cries and people vote against their own self-interests instead of throwing out people who don't do as we tell them when we vote for them.
@Lindsey, amen, sister!
@Jody S., if the elastic goes in the entire waistband, a good rule of thumb is to cut it at the person's waist measurement, planning to overlap one inch when sewing the elastic together. Test this, however, as elastic "stretchability" varies greatly, and adjust longer or shorter as necessary. The waist needs to stretch enough to pull on over her bottom!
@Meira (meirathebear.wordpress.com), She finished them, and they are super cute! And they are nice and cool.
Scholarships for college! As well as AP classes, and community college classes offered through public schools at a discount.
As several Commentariat members have already noted, attitudes (or attitude adjustments as necessary) have a lot to do with frugality.
@Jody S. has noted the power of contentment and gratitude. As the Irish say (and there's even an Irish jig with this title), "contentment is wealth."
@K D has noted the power of having (or making) like-minded friends instead of trying to keep up with the Joneses.
@N has noted the power of willingness to learn (which, I'd add, involves a certain amount of humility, as well as openness to stepping out of your comfort zone).
@WilliamB has noted the power of patience, spending time, and not caring too much what possibly disapproving others may think. As I've noted in earlier comments, at age almost 70, I'm working on my black belt in this last category. 😀
I'd add to the above that other frugal superpowers include willingness to live a life others may not consider exciting, as well as an absence of FOMO. The most recent post on the NCA ("One Simple Thing...") includes a discussion of FOMO. And, once again, I've found that both of these get easier with age.
Finally, here's a word from the resident Luddite/Old Fogy on the statement that "You do kinda need a smartphone in this day and age." Perhaps, but I intend to go out with my cold dead fingers wrapped around my dumb flip phone, if at all possible. Smartphones are, IMHO, thieves of time, attention, and brain cells in general. As just one example, the numbers of parents I see walking down our quiet cul-de-sac glued to their phones while their toddlers race out ahead of them, into the street, etc., are heartbreaking. God help them if they were doing this on the nearby state highway.
@A. Marie, I don't have a cell phone at all 🙂
@A. Marie,
As I age, I also worry less and less about what others think about my car, my choice of vacation, or my life. I follow my heart, and I choose what is best for me.
In the words of Elizabeth Bennet in Pride and Prejudice when confronted by Lady Catherine, "I am only resolved to act in that manner, which will, in my own opinion, constitute my happiness."
@A. Marie, I would like to have more of a choice about a smartphone but a lot of workplaces require them (for example, I once worked for a company which required me to download an app for the software). I do leave it at home when I go out sometimes though.
@Bee, three hearty huzzahs for Elizabeth, an early frugal icon!
And there's a bit in the final chapter of P&P that you'll appreciate, too. Since it's obvious that Lt. and Mrs. Wickham will not be able to support themselves, Elizabeth kicks in now and then: "Such relief, however, as it was in her power to afford, by the practice of what might be called economy in her own private expences, she frequently sent them. It had always been evident to her that such an income as theirs, under the direction of two persons so extravagant in their wants, and heedless of the future, must be very insufficient to their support; and whenever they changed their quarters, either Jane or herself were sure of being applied to for some little assistance towards discharging their bills."
@A. Marie,
Pride and Prejudice is filled with quotable quotes and financial tidbits.
@A. Marie, when i sit in the dr's office for hours, a nice game of solitaire reminds me of my dad who taught me the game. july 20 he will be gone 8 years.
@Jody S.,
Me too! Freeing!
I heartily second your no-alcohol rule! In the last several years, I keep noticing how greeting cards and gift items seem to advocate drinking. Case in point: a decorative sign we sell in our store that says, "Life. It's what happens between coffee and wine." I can't quote the greeting cards, but a lot of them tout wine drinking as being glamorous. Apparently, enough people are starting to shun alcohol that the industry is trying to stealthily promote it. Booze costs a lot of bucks! It's neither frugal nor healthy.
I would also add to your list any substance abuse, such as cigarettes (or other tobacco products) and drugs not taken for medicinal purposes. Some illegal drugs are no longer illegal, and I really hate the term "recreational drugs"; perhaps it is another way that certain groups are trying to get more people to use them. What is recreational about getting stoned or addicted?
Speaking of recreation, a lot of people spend too much money and time on it. My father almost bankrupted our household on his stupid, all-consuming hobbies. They were costly in more ways than just money; we kids rarely saw him because he was out with the guys playing like they were little rich kids with unlimited bank accounts. Mom never divorced him because "at least he's not going to bars, or drinking or seeing other women." No, but he left early in the morning, went to work, came home to briefly eat supper, went out to his club meetings and then didn't come home until after our kiddie bedtimes. He was only home to eat and sleep. She was, for all intents and purposes, practically a single mother. We suffered hardships (I practically wore rags to school!) because he wanted to pursue his "avocational interests," as one counselor called it. A lot of men are too into golfing, lodge meetings, motorcycles, boating or car clubs to be good fathers. Why not stay home and garden? Oh, and I almost forgot: video games cause a lot of guys to tune out the real world and play for hours on end. Truly addictive!
People confuse needs and wants, especially with entertainment. Cable TV and satellite radio are not needs. There are plenty of over-the-air stations broadcasting in your area. You can see a lot of stuff via the internet. Stick with the free offerings, no need to subscribe. The library will let you check out DVDs and Blu Ray movies....or you can go over to a friend's house and watch with them. (Let them pay the monthly rates!)
Oh, and the library is another great source if you want to read magazines or books for free. Highly recommended!
Oh, and getting back to drinking, if you go out to eat, just opt for a glass of water with lemon. (Not bottled water). They don't charge for that.
I always make coffee at home, no outrageously high coffee shop charges for me. If you opt for Keurig-like machines, know that you can buy reusable pods that allow you to fill with coffee grounds from the coffee can. Much cheaper than the disposable kind.
@Fru-gal Lisa,
You can add gambling to that list. There aren't many frugal people hanging out in the casino.
@Bee, just for laughs: I refer to the Coinstar machine in my Wegmans as my "risk-free way of playing the slots."
@Fru-gal Lisa, television shows also promote drinking as a positive thing. I limit my watching to family friendly shows, but often family activities are portrayed with smiling adults enjoying their big glass of wine. It will take quite a while for alcohol to go the way of tobacco.
@Fru-gal Lisa,
Yes to saving on alcohol. Not only is it hard on the brain but it can contribute to breast and colon cancer.
@Bee,
You are so right! That is a big one!
I never buy lottery tickets or gamble, so that completely slipped my mind.
Thank you for adding it.
@Book Club Elaine,
Yes. I grew up in a "dry" city (dry did not refer to the weather but to the fact liquor was not sold here, nor served in restaurants.) Even as a child, I was astonished by the TV show "Bewitched." Every time something went awry, Darrin or Samantha or Darrin's boss Larry would head for the bar in the Stephens' living room and get themselves a drink. That seemed so weird!
@Fru-gal Lisa, there are several options if you're group goes to bar and you're not drinking.
1. Be the designated driver to get free soft drinks from the bar.
2. Be the designated driver and have your group pay for your soft drink.
3. In my experience, bar tenders will generally give you refills for free and sometimes not charge you at all. (We all know to leave a tip anyway, right?)
@Fru-gal Lisa, I find it very alarming how wine and parenting have been paired and marketed toward young mothers.
@Lindsey,
I saw a canned alcoholic beverage in the grocery store last week. I believe it was vodka and juice. The product's name -- Mom Water.
Without a doubt , raising children can be difficult and stressful. It would have been even harder if I was tipsy all the time. Sometimes you just have to deal with whatever is coming your way.
@Bee, It's easier for companies to push alcohol rather than for governments to improve infrastructure for mothers.
@Fru-gal Lisa, I can say that marijuana - which you can smoke, consume, or apply as a topical, is a far better pain management option that big Pharma. A medical card will save you on taxes but there is nothing wrong with wanting to manage one's pain.
I agree with all of these (although I do drink alcohol). I'd say one of the easiest ways to save money through an app/program is Rakuten (formerly known as Ebates). You just stop there before you go to whichever store you are buying from, and it automatically credits you with cash back for the vast majority of stores. (A few don't participate). I try hard not to shop unless we really need something, but over the past 10+ years (I've been a member for a long time), it adds up.
One of my favorite ways to save is on travel hacking. My least favorite way is food, because it requires such repetitive effort (planning, purchasing, making, re-making, creative thinking, etc). But, I also think food is one of the biggest ways to save when you are consistent.
Other big things: Maximize tax advantaged accounts whenever possible, choose a savings account that will give you a nice return, and work to understand investing. Choose an investing option that's low touch, unless you are really passionate about it.
I'll also add that the income side is also an important element & makes a huge difference over the course of your life. Some of this is luck, a lot of it is understanding the job market, regularly up leveling your skills, building a great network, and understanding how to market yourself + negotiation.
@Hawaii Planner, over the years of reading this blog travel seems to be some people's splurge. We all are frugal for many reasons. Maybe we can have a thread about this topic. Hawaii Planner you would be a good resource.
Frugality is about choices, just like most of life, and it's important to remember that picking the cheaper/better quality/longer lasting/healthier choice enables participation in some things you may not necessarily want to do but that do have some level of social value. It kind of stinks to score the offseason sale price on closeout volleyball spandex, but turn around and buy the matchy-matchy "team shoes" at a more-than-offsetting price, but that's why the habit is to shop the closeouts. It is about balance. (And yes, I know we don't have to, but.)
Reading this I realize why I've been such a long time reader of your blog. These are very practical things that I was already doing! Except for #7...not gonna do that. A few years ago I was able to cut back to working part time, and people will sometimes comment to me that it must be so nice. It is. But I also wonder if they would be willing to live the life I do in order to make it happen. Or to go through some of the really hard things I did that admittedly made it possible. My life isn't flashy, but I happy with what I've created.
1.) Be willing to spend a bit extra. I buy the expensive Carbmaster milk, Too Good yogurt, and Truvia brown sugar substitute. These purchases help me control my glucose levels without medication.
2.) On the other hand, I troll the grocery stores, looking for marked down produce. Big money saver, if you wash & sort immediately.
3.) Do not hesitate to return an item. It’s okay to change your mind.
4.) Form your own Charity Plan. Decide donations in advance. Do not be embarrassed to not “round up”.
5.) Decide once. Buy the same brand toilet paper, shampoo, detergents, nonperishable foods, etc when they go on sale and build your stockpile.
6.) Create a chart of your monthly bills by due date. On payday, set aside grocery and gas money. Then, pay your bills! When money was really tight, I would write, “Nothing to worry about”, sign and date it. I always made it to the next payday! It was great when a loan or credit card was paid off and I had one less bill to pay each month!
7.) Reframe “frugality”. Instead, call it, “Being good with money.” Good luck!
@Aunt Diane from Streator,
I love that phrase , "Decide once." It encompasses the idea beautifully!
@mbmom11 and Aunt Diane, Such a great idea and memorable, too! It saves not only money but time, which is even more valuable. And eliminates "decision fatigue", which can be incredibly draining.
@mbmom11, “Decide Once” is not my idea. I believe I first heard the phrase from The Lazy Genius. It has become a lifeline for me.
When I got back from NYC last year I did 'dry February' (because I went in January), partly to save money and partly to cut down on drinking. I haven't gone tee-total but I definitely drink a lot less. I also essentially stopped drinking soda after my dentist said I needed to cut down on sugar. I still drink sodas but it's very infrequent now.
My main struggle is finding a balance - as they say, you can't take it with you. I try and save money for the future and for things I do care about (like you, I basically have a zero beauty routine) but I have to push myself more!
One thing that does come naturally to me is borrowing books from the library! I always go to the library first.
@Sophie in Denmark, I forgot to actually add to the list. Here are some thoughts:
1. If you're going out (and/or on holiday) bring a reusable water bottle and a bag of snacks.
2. It saves time in the long run to cut and freeze vegetables (frozen produce is also a good idea if you are low on time). If bread (or milk or whatever food/drink that can be refrigerated) is on sale, buy two and put one in the freezer.
3. Look for events in your town or place you are visiting. There are often free events you can attend, or at least, you can bring food and drinks with you to save money.
@Sophie in Denmark, One more thought! Don't skimp on areas which are important to spend money on, such as going to the dentist, doctor etc. I live in a country (actually two countries) with public healthcare, so that is less of an issue for me (and I don't intend this to be a discussion about affording healthcare in general), but I think health is something that should always be a priority. A visit to the dentist, doctor or optician might be expensive but it's not worth risking longterm health.
If you can, I advise buying 'better' foods for that reason as well. There's a saying which is something along the lines of: 'pay the grocer or pay the doctor' (ie, to not pay for better foods could result in health issues later). I am not trying to shame anyone who cannot afford better foods or has limited access - to have that choice is a privilege - but if you do have a choice, I think it's wise to invest in healthy foods.
@Sophie in Denmark,
I recently read a quote from a professor in inheritance law: "Giving is inheriting withouth bereavement". Food for thought!
As often as possible, I make frugality a game:
It is the thrill of the hunt when I shop consignment for clothes. I can sew and mend. A ridiculously low price for a high end article becomes bragging rights.
I set my clock for 20 mins and get as much cleaning done as I can. Cleaning and decluttering is uber frugal. I always find things that I was about to purchase because I forget about or misplaced an item. (Often I just keep going after 20 mins. Sometimes I just walk away which exercises my 'non-perfectionist muscle" - super important.
I try to combine joyful hobbies with other parts of my life that could involve spending: I walk with a friend instead of meeting them for dinner. I pick and shelf pecans that grow on the ranch. I roast them and give them for gifts. These are a big hit with people who love the nuts. I practice the piano and guitar for free.
I google recipes for a silly pantry purchase.
I have a ton of frugal failures. I have spent years retraining my perfectionist brain to see mistakes as "opportunities of growth." I make fun of myself and my attempts to keep my ego in check. Big life hack keeping myself right size.
Frugal hobbies! You touched on this with your mention of the library and rehabbing furniture. There are tons of frugal hobbies from gardening to board games to crafting with trash or recyclables. If you take up a frugal hobby and really enjoy it, you can literally save money and make money at the same time all while making yourself happy.
I have never really thought of myself as frugal but I do 99% of the things you mentioned, so maybe I am? I am a DIYer, and I almost always attempt something myself before bringing in outside help. I think the most frugal thing I do right now that will pay off big in the future is take care of myself. I faithfully schedule my medical and dental appts., take all prescribed meds, follow my doc's recommendations, and go about my day thinking of self care as being the #1 thing I do to live a good life. I want to stay one step ahead of a preventable issue. To that end, yes I do limit what I drink. I ended the wine club life long ago. It was pricey, and as I aged, didn't feel as good as it used to.
Why is not drinking controversial? Drinking something terrible for your body, which harms/ kills others regularly, DUI, for example, should be the concern here. It's sad how this terrible menace has been normalized.
@Farhana,
AMEN! You said it best! Thank you.
@Farhana, I am not trying to downplay the dangers of alcoholism or drinking too much in general, but I think people should be taught to drink responsibly rather than to drink to get drunk or not drink at all. I also think no one should be pressured to drink in the first place, if they are not interested.
I feel like you are my long lost older sister, LOL! I relate so much to this. The one thing I would add to your list is that you seem really organized! I forget to shop sales/buy things secondhand because I struggle to keep track of what we need. I think you can save a lot of money by remembering what you have and what you need!
@Katie,
I would even say being organised and spending time 20 minutes or so once a week looking at your schedule next week/month/ year is actually key to be really JOYFULLY frugal.
To me at least. When I do look at my weekly/monthly/yearly schedules ahead, mapping out menu plans, saving plans, coralling necessary errands to save time, travel plans medical issues and appointments and whatever - it makes me feel in control and therefore hardly ever do I get into thinking/feeling of being deprived
This might be a hard one, but..try to hang out with like minded people and find a partner ( if you want a partner) who is on same page as you are,financially.. at least in general. A frugal person and a spendthrift together can create a lot of misery and stress.At least talk it out and get counseling together to make financial goals and plans before committing? My thoughts on the matter. I am fortunate my husband and I come from similar backgrounds and had similar Money ideas going into our marriage.
Friends: It is not helpful to hang out with people who HAVE a lot more money than you and/ or SPEND a lot more money than you.You might always be feeling you can’t do the things they do. Pricey pedicure parties? Bachelorette parties to Las Vegas????? Nicer to have friends who appreciate a good cup of home brewed coffee and a walk vs. a pricey restaurant meal if that’s your nature.Or, who doesn’t mind the older $3 movie theater vs. the 12 dollar newer theaters.
This sums it up nicely. Much is about knowing what your priorities are in life, and catering for those priorities as best as possible. And ofcourse there is delayed gratification.
On the alcohol: I do like the taste of a nice wine, or berry liqueur, but not the effect on body and brain (and of course brain is also body). So I live practically alcohol-free - five glasses a year is a lot, this year so far I had two. I've tried several alcohol free drinks (replacements for gins, liqueurs, red and white wines) but did not like them much or at all. I only keep the alcohol free sparkly white "wine", for celebrations. Otherwise it is tap water, with or without ginger or lime, most of the time.
Smoking anything
No one likes to talk about budgeting, but it's been a game changer for me. Thank you Aunt Diane from Streator for your #6! When you know what you usually spend per month on different categories, it takes the panic away. In the past I would pull out my credit card if I saw something I needed or wanted and quickly got into debt. Making the decision on whether to buy something comes down to either yes - I have the money this month or no - there's no money this month so let's make a plan. I'm a bit of a nerd and enjoy using a spreadsheet, but there are cool apps that do the trick and there's always a sheet of paper and pencil. Rachel Cruze says having a spending plan (or budget) gives you freedom to spend and I've found that to be true.
Such easy and awesome tips from you to go by, yes I believe myself I'm somewhat frugal too ,but I do like a glass of wine once in a while ,also my pedicure, I am not able to do such a good nail job as the Ladies at the nail place ,also I buy Papertowels , otherwise , I am telling myself ,do I really need this Item or not ,dont buy or shop impulsive! I ADMIRE YOU AND LOVE READING YOUR BLOGS !!! You are resilient, God bless ,Christine
My wise 14 year old granddaughter was here last week. Her one extravagance is books--she almost always has one in her hand. For some reason she threw out the comment: "I don't shop." When I give her money for important times, she says she will put it in her college fund.
I love reading your blog, Kirsten. I think much the same as you do, but you have more tricks up your sleeve! You do an excellent job with it!
Best wishes! I love that I went to nursing school and that you did, too -- an education that is good for life! And thank you!
I don't own any whites so I don't need to do a separate load. This saves time and money .
@JANE, i wash whites and colors in cold water. clothes last longer and have not had a problem with bleeding.
don't buy lottery tickets. am so glad you have a nice life. you deserve it and you worked so hard to get it.
What has worked best for us is to keep track of every single penny we spend. It is the last thing we do every day, enter expenditures on a spread sheet. That is really how we made the decision to be frugal, when I realized from our spread sheet that I spent over $3000 on books and written materials in one year. We look at it weekly and monthly, to see what we are spending money on, and it is also a help when doing taxes. The other thing is to always ask myself how many hours did I have to work to buy this item or experience. You are exchanging time for money, although it is easy to forget that.
Ebay is great for books and really like Alibris. I have seen books I wanted at the store then found them cheaper on Alibris, from novels to textbooks.
Piggybacking onto your No Alcohol rule (my rule too) I would add quit other expensive habits like: Quit cigarettes. Quit tattoos. Quit regular lottery tickets. I am amazed by the people,who are the first to complain they never have enough money and sit there showing skin covered with tattoos, drawing on a cigarette.
Stop caring what others think of you; that's their problem, not yours.
When you feel the need to buy something new for your house, try rearranging what you already own. Everything will feel new again.
That works for clothes, too, by simply combining things differently. (I live where we layer clothes which helps with this.)
Paperback Swap dot com. I’ve swapped books for years, including audio books for my blind son.
All good ideas, I agree with you.
Years ago at the end of grad school, I promised myself I wouldn’t buy junk! I’d wait, etc. until I had the means to get what I needed/wanted. Sometimes, that’s meant doing without.
When I had a debt or needed a big ticket item, I’d find a way to work extra. I’m lucky that as an academic, I could take on an extra class, consult, or do a project. Living within my means is probably the most frugal habit I have. When my income increased and my circumstances improved, I lived below my means, but well. I remember a relator telling me I could afford a bigger mortgage. NO, I couldn’t! Instead, I increased savings and my retirement. As a result, I’m debt-free and have the means to travel, which is important to me plus be generous with my family.
Earlier as a single parent, I was really worried about having an unreliable car and unexpected expenses, so I bought new or newer model cars. Currently, our truck is 27 years old (one owner - us) and still running with mostly maintenance and a few repairs. Our car is 2012. The truck was the last vehicle we financed.
I meal plan! I shop the sales, my pantry, and the freezer. Unfortunately, buying things on sale sometimes doesn’t work out the for the best… especially, if I don’t use it! For example, I have several boxes of allergy-friendly mac & cheese … but, I really don’t eat that! I have to remind myself to make up a box at times. I keep a running list of what I run out of so I can replenish when I shop.
I’m not perfect by any means. I have too many clothes, some that don’t fit, etc. Most of my clothes were bought on sale, but have lasted me for years! I also buy good shoes.
I think the other frugal lesson is to learn from my mistakes. There are some things I won’t buy anymore because I know I won’t use them (see mac & cheese box above).
Great post!
What a great blog your so right about debt i am almost there debt free never going back but it was for windows on a home I own so its done..and your advice on alcohol that's no longer a option...
Another thought - a lot of frugality means working together. If we want free community spaces and events to continue, we have to show up to them. If we want to grow food in a community garden, we have to use it and help maintain it (or help create one!)
Your list looks very similar. I have essentially followed the exact list of items to make the paycheck go much further. There are many more practices that can be added to your sensible lifestyle. Americans need to listen to you.
Something I do is save monthly this year for next year's bill. I have 2 savings accounts I use for this. House stuff goes in one and the other stuff goes in the other. I am a paper and pencil girl. I keep track of deposits and withdrawls on a sheet of notebook paper "register" for each savings account. On each register I track each expense separately rather than lumping them together. For instance, electricity in the Arizona desert can be a scary expense during our 6 - 8 month long summer weather. It's not all over 100, but still hot. We had 100 this past November. My provider does not do bill leveling, so I do it. I averaged 2 years of bills and came up with $120 per month. So I have been depositing 120 minus what I paid each month into the account. This bill I transfered money back from savings to checking to cover the amount over 120.
My cat is on a very restricted diet. Her Kibble lasts about a year, but is $160 a bag. It is much cheaper overall than the small bags. So that is one of my monthly deposits .
I do this with all my bills that are less expensive to pay yearly than monthly. I just switched to Mint Mobile. This year is $240, but next year will be $360, so I am saving 30 now for next year.
This helps me so much. My budget is extremely tight (but so thankful for SS and small pention). This helps me feel more in control and not stress about having what I need when I need it.
Sorry to be so long winded. Just hope that might help someone else .
SO thankful for this community and NCA. You are all such a blessing. Thank you <3
@AZ Lynn, pension not pension, sheesh
For Christmas in 1973 I got a beautiful pair of caramel color lace up leather boots. Fast forward to 2025 and I still wear them and get tons of compliments on them!! You're right, buying quality when possible is worth it. Keep on encouraging us!!
If you don't mind sharing your secret... What card do you use to get 5% on groceries?! I also use different cards for different categories, but usually my best deal maxes out at 3% on any given category. Thanks!
Sure thing! I have the Citi Custom Cash card. It gives you 5% in your highest spending category, so I use it almost exclusively for groceries, thus getting 5% back on those every month. 🙂
I collect the water from my AC's condensation line. I use it to water my garden, plants, and other things and this also prevents it from draining next to my foundation. I keep a mosquito dunk in the container to avoid breeding unwanted pests.
I live where it's very humid, so I'm sure I get more than 20 gallons a week of free water.
Take inventory first.
Like every bad habit, you need to recognize it, so look
- what`s in your pantry/freezer and what you really eat
-what`s in your closet and what you really need/wear in your real live, now
-what your housing/transportation/everyday needs cost you right now.
I treat overspending like that: once you are aware of it, it will most likely get better, you will be more motivated and you will find strategies to cut costs.
Start with the easy ones to get some results fast then maybe sit down and make bigger decisions based on what is important to you.
Be honest but forgiving to yourself.
Okay, this is more a guideline than a 10 step manual, but that is the work every future frugalist has to do themselves: what do I really want? What am I not going to sacrifice?
Life has different seasons and circumstances so the answers to that may change, and that is perfectly ok. Just don`t stick with something that does not work for you (any more).
And yes, have fun.
Love it as it's all so sensible
Cut hand cream tubes in half when empty, lodes left in there. Charity shops for books and craft materials.
Triple Aquarians might save water in Summer by collecting it.
ASqieeze of a cloth os 100 cl and you will waste 200 more each time!
Probably not for everyone.
We are on cold showers anyway!
Yes. That is how my ordinary herbs survive the summer.
And today I will try a lavender foot massage because the rosemary went well.
Plus. Fresh cheese for home made pizza today with fresh red pepper and tomato sauce.
I'll shop later.
But young folks are hoovers. Be careful what they hoover up!
Then they can be happy old lags like me!
I LOVE DIFFERENT SCENTS!!! I THINK IT'S IMPORTANT TO SMELL VARIED FRAGRANCES THROUGHOUT THE DAY. MY FAVORITE IS LAVENDER, I FIND IT RELAXING AND CALMING.
Phone Service:
I signed up for Tello.com instead of any other inexpensive cell phone service, because every tier offers unlimited texts and phone calls, I only choose how many gigabytes I want and that price varies; for example I pay $20 per month (taxes included) for 10 gigabytes, my husband has everything unlimited and pays $25 per month.
The unlimited phone calls can be made to 70 countries and is everything to me, because I have friends and family in Europe and Asia and some are still not on WhatsApp.
Savings Account for saving from coupons:
I downloaded the goodbudget app. After each grocery trip I put in the amount I saved with coupons (I only use coupons for items I buy anyhow, so I don't go crazy with 1000s of toothpastes).
At the end of the month I put that saved amount into a savings account.
It makes me feel good to see the saved amount, even when small.
We're doing a reno on our house. We do as much as possible ourselves. Taking down drywall, painting rooms, installing cabinets etc. We do call in professional help for things like electrical and plumbing. We refurbish and reuse as many items as we can. We purchase items on sale, 2nd hand when we can.
Good for you guys!
I still buy bulk for food and prep and portion (cooking for 2) using my vac seal system and my large freezer. I make my dogs food and treats. We eat at home. I pack lunches for my husband for work. I once took my family of 4 on a week's vacation savings up my can/bottle return cash and grocery savings and came back with money left over!
I tried to grow some of my vegetables like carrots potatoes onions and tomatoes thanks
I routinely ask myself if the item I already have is still decent and functional? Do I have something else that will serve this purpose? Before I purchase anything. It has stopped me from buying a lot of things to remember that I already have something that serves the purpose.
Make use of local consignment stores to sell unneeded clothing (or add to your wardrobe).
Make friends with your neighbors so you can share skills, tools, and time together.
Free shop at the curb before trash day to get useful items....so far I have gotten a office chair, recliner, china cabinet, barstools, etc. These items had nothing wrong with them. People throw out and buy new. (Florida)
Love this! Would it be possible for you to do a multipart tutorial on using apps for deals and rewards and such?
Cook uncomplicated meals to avoid expensive ingredients. Have a theme month to use up that special ingredient so it doesn't go out of date in the back of the refrigerator/cupboard.
I have followed this list and always live under our income. At age 75 my spouse and I have many assets and retirement accounts. This is not to extol our fabulous luck in life, but to gratefully share how this life style can benefit you over a lifetime. We have traveled to many fabulous places, have a lovely home, and are able to gift family and charity. I encourage others to develop this lifestyle!