Stream of consciousness
It's a Wednesday morning, and I don't have any posts ready to go.
And you know that that means: STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS TIME. 😉
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I am trying to decide if I want to hire someone to do some yard clean-up for me or not. I think it would probably cost around $300.
Another option is to borrow my neighbor's lawn tractor/leaf collector and do the work myself.
A third option (leaving all the leaves and branches on the ground) is not actually an option because my lease says I am responsible for keeping the yard presentable and maintained.
Soo, what to do, what to do?
Part of me is thinking, "Just spend the money; you have a lot on your plate and you don't even enjoy yard work. Also, you'd be hiring your neighbor's landscaping company and supporting a small business. $300 isn't the end of the world."
And another part of me is like, "Oh geez, don't be so soft. You can find a few hours to go out there and get it done, and then you'll still have that $300 in your bank account."
Stay tuned. 😉
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I had orientation yesterday at the hospital where I will be doing my OB rotation and oh man, I am so excited for this. Everything about it made me feel happy.
It was a very different feeling than being oriented for the med-surg and assisted living rotations.
I am still trying to hold my future plans loosely, because who knows, perhaps there is some type of nursing that is going to catch my eye in future semesters.
But right now, I'm still feeling a pull to OB. We'll see what I think of it once I actually try it!
(If you're new here: one of the things that first made me think that I might want to be a nurse was walking through the stillbirth of my niece and the subsequent joyful birth of her sister), so OB has my heart.)
Mannn, I love babies.
They showed us an area where sometimes nurses are assigned to hold babies who are coming off of drug addictions, and I guess my face must have betrayed me because one of my classmates looked over at me and was like, "Kristen REALLY wants to hold babies."
She is not wrong. 😉
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I had an almost five-hour zoom orientation yesterday (before the in-person orientation).
I have NEVER been in a zoom of that length, even at the height of the pandemic. Thank goodness this is not the norm.
Chiquita joined me for part of the meeting.
She couldn't manage the whole five hours, though. Understandable.
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Sometimes I make mistakes that are slightly embarrassing, and then almost every time, I tell people about said mistakes.
In labor and delivery monitoring, we have this mnemonic to help us remember how to read fetal heart rates in conjunction with maternal contractions.
So, I was doing a practice test and I wrote it down: PORK CHOP. I tried to use it to help me answer the question, but I was stuck.
And then I realized my mistake...it's VEAL CHOP, not pork chop. Ha.
(Here's a link explaining it, in case you are intrigued.)
I immediately texted my school group chat to tell them about my mistake. And hey, maybe now that I made that error, we will all remember that it's veal, not pork.
(This has nothing to do with meat.)
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In the past two years since I left my marriage, I have done a lot of processing.
I've written about that quite a bit, and about my way of rolling with the memories and their attached feelings, letting them move on through.
Last semester was just so NUTS on so many levels, though, I think the processing took sort of a pause.
This semester, I've had a little more space and time, and interestingly enough, the processing has become unpaused.
For a while, a prominent emotion I felt was anger but right now, it's more sadness as I look back at my past self and my past experiences.
I've been writing small, stand-alone essays about these feelings here and there.
I don't know what I will do with them; they don't really belong here, but perhaps they would be helpful to someone else in similar circumstances. So, I have considered publishing them on a Patreon at some point.
For now, though, writing them is helpful to me. Sometimes I figure things out by writing, and this is no exception.
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I came across some sweet little piano tracks, by a 20-year-old guy from Mexico, Gibran Alcocer.
They're mostly waltzy sounds, and since they're really simple, I paid for the downloadable sheet music from his site, and I've been having fun playing them.
Sometimes it's nice to have something so easy that you can just sightread it and be good at it right away.
And if you want something peaceful to listen to, you might enjoy his music.
Alrighty; that's enough of a peek into my brain for today.
I always enjoy your stream of consciousness posts, Kristen!
I woke up this morning wondering what work was going to be put in front of me. Every day I pray and ask God to tell me what He wants me to do. Most days, obviously, it's schoolwork with my youngest, seeing to what my older kids need, basic housework. I thought briefly about bleaching the laundry sink, which was looking grody, but moved on to other things.
Then I started cleaning the bathrooms, and found the drain cover (the little thing that covers the overflow drain and makes sure the tub stays full enough) was reallllly gross. So I ended up bleaching it in the laundry sink (and closing the door to said laundry room to keep Curious Clark out). I guess I was supposed to bleach the sink after all, just not for the reason I thought!
I end up doing more cleaning when DH is at work, and I'm not sure why. I am fine with cooking and cleaning up after myself when he's home, it's just the other cleaning I feel inhibited. Weird.
I think Clark is the opposite of cat. He doesn't like to lie in sunbeams; in fact, he wanted to be on my desk yesterday, but there was a sunbeam right on his blanket, and he ostentatiously napped on the hard desk next to the blanket, to stay out of the sun. He doesn't like being warm; he doesn't sit in laps or seek us out for heat, nor does he sit on heat vents. In fact, he'd be happy if we kept a window open all day long for him to sniff the cold air. If he does sleep curled up for a while, he ends up getting up all groggy and sploots on the cold tile to dissipate his body heat. He also likes getting wet and is seriously contemplating someday hopping into a full laundry sink.
I finished reading a biography of Agatha Christie and I find it fascinating that to this day nobody really knows why she disappeared for ten days in 1926. Obviously she was going through a lot personally, with her mother dying and her husband asking for a divorce because he'd fallen for somebody else, but she never really talked about it, and it is so sad that everybody assumed she'd done it for a publicity stunt.
@Karen A., I have to "sneak-vacuum" because my husband hates the sound, and I can only take down spiderwebs when he is gone because he hates to kill stuff. And, while I clean, he questions why it is necessary or why I am doing it the way I am doing it. So, if you are weird about your cleaning habits, don't feel alone.
@Central Calif. Artist Jana, LOL! When DH is working from home I can usually go around doing my thing, but if he's taking a break and not working I feel as if my working makes him feel like HE should be working? I guess sometimes I just want to blitz something without people around, and me thinking they could maybe do it better....
@Karen A., my cat also doesn't like warmth in the way most do. He doesn't seek out sunrays, he hates a blanket or anything. I bought a mosquito net enclosed thing that is for a baby...it's a mesh enclosure that zips up and is about 3 feet long and comes up to my knee. If my cat had his way, he would spend ALL day in the cold sitting in that thing on the porch. He likes the wind, wants to watch the birds, etc.
I read a fictional book about Agatha Christie and the made up story of what she was doing for those 10 days years ago. I hadn't known about that time of her life before that.
@Marlena, Christie had a fascinating life...her Autobiography is a delight to read, I highly recommend it. Mind you, she doesn't talk about her disappearance at all, but she alludes to her frame of mind before it all went down and I believe she was having a serious nervous breakdown due to all she was going through.
I also just read a fictional book, I think called "The Christie Affair" and I greatly disliked it. I read it to the end but man, the author took great artistic license with the facts of the matter and honestly I have always disliked seeing Agatha Christie portrayed in fiction or on screen. IMO they never get her right. My poor family had to endure me yelling at the screen when we watched a Doctor Who episode that had Agatha Christie in it.
@Karen A., I hadn't realized until my sister went to grad school in archaeology how much her second husband, Mallowan, contributed to the field.
I have read every book Agatha wrote. I adore them--comfort reads for me. And my sister named her first cat Agatha after her.
@Karen A.,
My husband occasionally works from home. When he is here, I feel like I can’t get into a groove. He has a tendency to take over the whole house. Do I know what you mean!
@Karen A., I get it about yelling "IT'S NOT RIGHT, IT'S NOT RIGHT!" at the screen. I had to stop watching Jane Austen adaptations after the 2009 BBC/PBS Emma for that very reason: I've busted two springs in my ancient sofa from jumping up and down on it and yelling! And as for biopics of JA herself (the film Becoming Jane and the BBC/PBS Miss Austen Regrets)...fuhgeddaboutit.
@Rose, And Agatha herself contributed to his research--financially, as well as helping put back together artifacts and cleaning artifacts.
Her books were very important comfort reads during the early days of the pandemic. I have all the Miss Marples, and I read them over and over. Now working on some I haven't read, like The Secret Adversary and the Secret of Chimneys.
@Karen A., The Secret Adversary is one of my favorites!
A Marie, that was my reaction to Downton Abbey. I think I got 20 minutes in before I threw the DVD across the room. So bad, so stupid, so wrong.
@Marlena, my daughter has a pellet stove and her cat sleeps right in front of it. He also loves lying right where the light comes in her kitchen window.
@Rose, I should have bailed on Downton Abbey at 20 minutes, but I hung in till the middle of Season 2, when I got so sick of Matthew and Lady Mary making cow eyes at each other I couldn't stand it.
And I only made it through the first two episodes of The Crown (which I wouldn't even have watched, except JASNA BFF made me). After those episodes, I gave her a bleary-eyed look and said, "Enough!"
@Central Calif. Artist Jana, "Sneak vacuum"? Nature abhors a vacuum, and so does my dog. Her protests are absolutely ear-splitting. I have to do the vacuuming when she's at the groomer or doggie day care.
@Karen A., If you are interested, pbs ran a neat three or four part series on Christie, hosted by a wonderfully entertaining historian. Not connected but weird is that there is a website devoted to admiring her legs (the host's, not Christie's) with British men admitting to loving to look at them. https://www.pbs.org/show/agatha-christie-lucy-worsley-on-the-mystery-queen/
@JDinNM, I have to confess: I hate the sound of vacuums, they make my ears hurt. The husband discovered this the first year we married and I have not vacuumed in the last 40 years, except for one time when he was out of town and I tried and manage to wreck the vacuum. We now have a cleaner once a week and I leave to do errands so I don't hear the vacuum. At one non-profit where I worked, we had to do our own cleaning and the boss deemed that we all had to take turns with all chores; I tried to explain about vacuuming, to no avail. I offered to clean the bathroom all the time instead, again to no avail. The first time I vacuumed, the machine died. I swore that I had not ruined it on purpose, which was true, but no one believed me. They had it fixed, I tried to use it again, and it died. (For a moment I thought I had the power to kill things, so I quick ran through a list of the dictators I wished dead, to no avail.) Finally got switched to bathrooms.
It is hilarious that you prefer bathrooms over vacuuming! I would definitely work well with you because I'd rather vacuum. 😉
@Lindsey, That historian (Lucy Worsley) is the author of the book I read recently: "Agatha Christie: An Elusive Woman." She is of the opinion that Agatha's shy, retiring nature was--especially as her career grew--mostly put on for the press and audience. I'm not sure I agree. But it was very well written and I liked how the author discussed The Disappearance.
I'm so sick of Lucy Worsley and her dumb face and her lisp and her dumb hair. THERE I SAID IT.
@Rose, I love mild lisps. I dated a guy in college just because he had such a charming lisp and a small space between his front teeth.
@Karen A., I never thought to look up her books, how much of an idiot am I? Thank you, I have put the book on hold at the library.
@Karen A., my guys are going on a week long trip,to watch the Phillies spring training. I have a whole list of projects I can’t wait to tackle. I also love to clean alone.
@Karen A., I am still fascinated about Agatha Christie's disappearance and not that I have any real proof I don't think it was a publicity stunt.
Your stream of consciousness posts are my favorite.
Today's stream of consciousness from my over-caffeinated mind:
1. Why is our church a repository for everyone's unwanted junk? How can I clean this up without all sorts of hurt feelings from the people who have stuffed it in various closets and room corners?
2. Will anyone bid on my four broken watches on eBay?
3. How much painting will I be able to do today when it is sunny outside and I'd rather be hoeing weeds?
4. If I lived near Kristen, I'd go over there with a rake and gladly clean up that yard.
5. I want to listen to that piano music and possibly play it, but there are so many unfinished paintings ahead, and if I don't get on it now, pretty soon it will be summer and too hot to paint and then fall and I won't be ready for my show, so I will resist the temptation to follow that YouTube link.
6. Writing out stuff is an excellent way to process it. I hope I can destroy my old journals before I die and other people read all that mess of emotional spewing.
@Central Calif. Artist Jana, I just started journaling again a couple months ago and find it so helpful. I stopped for years though because my sister found my journal when I was a teenager, read it and then got upset at what I had written (teenage emotional spewing), and yelled at me about it in front of the rest of the family. So now I’ve started journaling again, keep it hidden but do have that fear of it being found if something should happen to me!
If I lived near Kristen, I'd give her the pleasure of organizing my fridge etc and I'd send my son over to clean her yard. Win-win since I can sit on my butt and do nothing!
@Central Calif. Artist Jana,
Could you hold a church rummage sale and put all the junk in it. Then toss it or donate it at the end of the sale.
@LB, I started Journaling when I was 19 and in college. I journaled for 10 years. Much emotional drama in those pages. I stopped one month before my marriage where I started a different life.
What surprised me the most was when I read them at 45 how raw my emotions were. And how spot on I was about family members.
I read them again at 60 knowing after I was done I was going to shred them, which I did. I am glad I did this to this day because I am not a confrontational person and if I died and people found and read them it would have hurt them.
Plus the Journaling got me through a turbulent time I was no longer in.
I threw out my teenage journals because I could barely even stand to reread what I wrote! lol
@karen, I too have destroyed the journals I kept in my teens and early 20s, for the same reason. Nobody needs to read that much of my youthful angst, and now they won't have to.
@Bee, I was aiming toward that but have been stymied by a small handful of people who say, "We might need that!" It's a tricky line to walk. . . these few folks insist that the stuff is important but they are not storing it properly and didn't even know it was there until I started clearing out. I started because there were piles of ??? in almost every room because there was no place to put it. (Where did it come from?) A small church is definitely like a family, and I am doing my best to be a good steward of our facility without contributing to any dissension. (Pray. Pray hard.)
@Central Calif. Artist Jana, My church is also a magnet for junk. People assume someone can use it, I guess. But we are having a giant cleaning to try to look better for our new pastor! The thinking is he or she will be repulsed by every closet bulging, and the junk in corners. Our building dates from 1879, with few actual closets, but people leave odd stuff all over. I figure since it appears anonymously it can be disappeared anonymously with no hurt feelings!
@Kristina, PS. There are at least three thrift shops that might be glad to have miscellaneous old lamps, theatrical costumes, jackets, shoes, hats, cracked serving plates, etc. K.
The plumbers are once again trying to fix the water supply to my dishwasher. I insisted on a metal hose this time. TRY TO EAT THAT, RATS.
The cottage is coming along so cute I can barely stand it. w00t!
If the dogs drive me crazy with barking and howling now, what's it gonna be like with three of them? sigh. (They were barking at the plumbers' truck.)
WHY CAN'T I FIND SOMETHING I WANTED FOR THE COTTAGE? I even bought a frame for it. It's driving me nuts. This was an embroidery kit back in the day. https://www.georgeglazer.com/archives/maps/archive-nyc/longisleembroid.html
Some headhunter keeps calling me about a position and it's always at a bad time. I'm starting to think all my time is bad times. Ha.
Dinner, which was steak, mushroom and bacon pie last night, was so delicious. I'm sure I'll forget by Friday when we list what we ate.
I really like veal. Sorry, cute baby calves! Son wants me to make confit duck, too. Yeesh.
@Rose, yes, what is up with forgetting the meals of the week? The other day I asked my husband what we had eaten Saturday, and neither one of could remember !!
@SandyH, To quote one of my favorite bands of my youth, it's Lifes Rich Pageant.
@Rose,
That embroidery piece is amazing. I'm sorry you didn't get it.
@Rose, the embroidered map is lovely.
In case you ever wonder, personally I love your stream of consciousness posts. 🙂
Running through my brain this morning:
- Relief to have my kitchen back on line after weeks of being remodeled. I learned the importance of a functioning sink above all elsein the process. As many small appliances as I had to sub in for cooking- hot pot, crock pot, hot air fryer, etc, they are almost rendered useless without the ability to be cleaned afterward!
- Relief that all paperwork has been submitted into escrow on my mom's behalf. My husband and I are now helping her transition into a 55+ community after first helping her sell her single family home, which had become an physical and financial drain on her after the death of her husband two years ago. The paperwork was daunting in that it involved items outside a normal real estate transaction in that it has to also go through a review by the 55+ governing board. Almost did me in at one point, since she had lost oversight into her finances, but we did it and it's now done.
- Joy that I'll be able to spend more time with my mom as a result, in that she'll be just 15 minutes instead of two hours away.
- More joy that my older daughter just qualified to run the Boston Marathon, which we all agreed immediately would become a multi generation family cheerleading and celebration trip.
- And finally, reminded how quickly life can turn. As much stress as I was under last week, this week has been a 180 into joy.
@Tamara R, Good work getting your mom settled in a safer place! I so wish we could convinced my mother in law to move out of her [decaying, pest-riddled, falling-apart] home that is in a remote rural area two and a half hours away from us (and we're her closest relatives, geographically). But she is allergic to the idea of moving out of a place that she owns outright and paying rent somewhere. Meantime she has horrible eyesight and is 87 and driving around on rural roads, and even giving people rides. Sigh.
@Karen A., Oh wow, that sounds very close to my mom's situation before the recent sale of her home, so I both hear and feel you. 🙁
I have to say I have been amazed at my mom's bravery in going through so many very significant changes in rapid fire sequence. I can only home to be so brave should I ever find myself in a similar situation.
@Karen A., and the sad part is most doctors have zippo spine when it comes to telling a state an elderly person should no longer drive. My toxic grandmother would pass out at any time (due to heart issues she refused to address). Her cardiologist went jelly spine when my dad and grandpa talked to him. Last words before leaving the office was "the lawyer(s) will be back if she kills someone in an auto accident". She soon had another medical issue (not heart related) and her car was mechanically disabled. We knew she had spare keys hidden somewhere in their 3000 sq. foot house. It is frustrating to say the least. Perhaps telling her her paid for house will be taken from her if she has an accident? Not an untruth by any means.
@Selena, you make good points. One thing among the many I've learned from the folks at alzconnected.org is that if a person who has ANY kind of cognitive impairment diagnosis causes an accident, he/she and family can be sued for everything they've got. And I'd guess, as you have, that this would apply to folks with cardiac and other serious diagnoses as well. Sometimes disabling the car is the only way to go.
I love your stream of consciousness posts 🙂 I would also love to read any of your essays!
When I did my master's one semester was entirely online, which meant six hours of classes on zoom and two hours of Danish classes online too. It was not fun. I liked the convenience of just logging on and not having to worry about commute time and money, but I think it's better to learn in person if possible, or at least have a mix of the two.
There's still snow on the ground here, but spring lawn clean up isn't too far away. I'm absolutely surrounded by old growth oak trees, and it was an acorn mast year, so fall clean up was ridiculously expensive, and I suspect spring clean up will be pricey, too. I vote that you pay to have it done this year, just to check it off your mental list, since you have so many other things going on. Estimate your time plus cost of leaf disposal plus gas plus sore muscles the next day . . . It's expensive, but it's like magic -- I give him the money, he makes it all disappear!
@Jean, until the time of the Enclosures in Britain (early 19th century), small farmers would let their pigs range in oak forests and fatten up on acorns; I believe early settlers in the US did the same. Perhaps acquiring a pig or two might help with your acorn cleanup problem? 😉
@A. Marie, Iberico ham is still raised that way (why it's so expensive). I had the same thought, in fact.
We moved to a home with a smaller yard thinking we wanted to get rid of the yard work, but now I miss it horribly. It was a lot of my exercise also. I did at least an hour of yardwork daily year round. Especially with spring coming, I am missing it. I want to add to gardens here and plant fruit bushes, but I know I'm not staying here long term so I'm trying not to throw more money into the house. I've looked around for a public/community garden, but none in my area.
My french bulldog has what they believe is a soft tissue sarcoma on her leg. My niece is a vet and said with her age/health/being a front leg, etc....we should leave it alone and let her live her time happy. We lost our other Frenchie about 18 months ago. It's hard watching them get older and sick.
We caught a mouse in the attic...we had mice when we moved in last February with the house empty and the cold they had gotten in the attic. We have seen no signs of them for months now, but I keep traps in the attic....and the cat kept us up screaming all night the other night. Checked the traps and sure enough. We've never dealt with mice before and I don't know what else to do at this point. We've never seen one in the house (or evidence of one). I think the cat would let us know. They just like the insulation and the warmth of the attic in the winter apparently. We've had someone come out to try to figure out how they're getting in...I think they are coming in somehow through the vent for the gas fireplace (cause the cat used to routinely scream at the fireplace and started again two days ago).I need to find a mesh cage or something to put over the vent outside.
@Marlena, Steel wool (plain, not with the soap in it) is supposed to be good for stuffing mouse entrances. We caught two mice last spring that had camped out in our kitchen for goodness knows how long--I have never bleached a kitchen so thoroughly in my life. DH used the TomCat glue traps (I know, I know, they're banned in the UK and are horrible but these are MICE.) and they were caught in a day. Now we have Clark, who practices every day with his stuffed mice to show us he's a Good Cat, so I'm hopeful we won't have a repeat performance.
@Marlena,
From what I understand, mice can enter a home through very tiny openings. We had a mouse problem a few years ago (::shudder::), mostly in the basement, but they also came up to our first floor. We had traps (didn't help), I tried plaster of Paris mixed with cornmeal set out in little dishes (maybe helped a little?), and finally called an exterminator company. So far, so good. Be very, very glad that none have crossed your path (::double shudder::). Our - ahem - three lazy cats and our dog did NOTHING to help. For all I know, they were happy to have new friends to play with.
@Marlena, maybe you can find a neighbor who hates yardening, or an older person who would love the help. Or start some seeds from scratch that will only be annuals, so cheap and short-lived. I've gotten so that I can hardly walk past a weed without pulling it, no matter where I am. Life without working in the yard sounds so dismal!
@Karen A., I've had best success with old fashioned spring traps baited with peanut butter. Basically you have to be willing to kill them to get rid of them, and the spring traps do that the fastest.
@WilliamB, and then if you are squeamish, just toss the entire thing—mouse and trap. Peanut butter works better than cheese.
@WilliamB, or take plastic grocery bag, holding trap with one hand, put it and your hand in the bad then use your other hand to lift the "snap" so the mouse drops into the bag while the trap stays in your hand.
I also use plastic grocery bags to pick of small, deceased critters in the yard (mice, chipmunks etc). Stick one hand in the bag, grab the carcass, and use your other hand to turn the bag inside out. Then tie the bag shut. Yeah, I'm not squeamish.
@Selena, Ugh! I couldn't do that. My stupid annoying beagle killed a cardinal tonight (I felt so awful) and I had to use a shovel to toss it out of the fenced part of the yard. Then I texted my son (at the movies) to dispatch it farther when he got home. I HATE when that dog kills songbirds. One minute they're there; the next they're dead because Jerkoff decided to bite them. I always tell myself, "Nature, red in tooth and claw" but I still feel like crying.
@Rose, I've always told any outside cat (mine or others), you only kill ugly birds.
I, too, love it when you do a stream of consciousness post.
I am sitting at the dining room table which is full of paperwork that I keep putting off and mail that needs dealing with, and I know, I know that TODAY has to be the day it gets taken care of.
My son and his family are making a four hour trek to spend the weekend with us here and I am wondering what I am going to prepare for food. They are easy, and I always over complicate this.
I spent a fair bit of time trying to get my husband’s expensive medicine for a fair price, which I did successfully. Or so I thought. In the mail was a letter from the insurance company saying we are going to owe them a large sum of money for the medicine after all, and he has a three month supply on hand….insurance companies are the worst. Now I have to gear up for a fight because I am not just going to write them a check.
The piano music was so lovely, I have to find some peaceful suicide to get me out of this funk!
@Brenda D, find some peaceful suicide....??
She said it was a typo! She meant to write "music". Sometimes autocorrect really screws us over!
Not *suicide*, that was supposed to say MUSIC!!!!
I did this sort of post yesterday, with photos I took as I walked around my house in the morning. Mine was a lot shorter, though:-)
I remember grumbling about chores when I was so busy working a full time job and going to nursing school. I am a farm girl, with chores, so I would wear my baseball cap that said "No excuses" and buckle down. Funny thing, once the chore was complete, I feel happy.
I read a life coach post the other day that really resonated with me. Just give yourself 5 minutes to start the task and start. I have a long list of ugly chores I have to get done and this "give me 5" has really worked to chip away at the awful list. It's true that if I start with the 5 minutes, more likely than not, I'm going to keep on going.
Use the outdoor time to soak up some Vit D, listen to a lecture or 2 or favorite music list. Enjoy it.
This week is a heavy week for me emotionally as I prepare to say good bye to 2 friends. I reconnected with one friend who moved states away and it is the silver lining for sure.
Visiting a friend today to pick up some large boxes that I will use in the garden to line
the walk ways between the raised beds, then 6 inches of sawdust.
I have 6 cats...who are overnight house cats and then they go outside for the day. Two of the oldest cats (19 yrs) sleep next to the woodstove. 2 sleep as far from heat as possible and one takes a shower with me (he is Maine Coon). loves getting wet and has a kiddie pool in the summer. Such distinct purrsonalities...couldn't stop myself from typing that.
@Blue Gate Farmgirl,
I’m sorry to hear of the passing of your friends. Wishing you peace.
My vote is to pay for the yard service. They will do a very thorough job that will get you set up for easier care when you have more time. Sometimes even we frugal people need to throw a little cash at an issue.
@Ruby, wise advice for Kristen, IMO. She's juggling enough plates at the moment that I don't think she needs to add a "yard cleanup" plate to the collection.
@Ruby, We’ve been in this situation a few times and it was such a relief! We can’t do all the things, all at the same time.
If it’s a non-skilled job, like picking up branches, you can try hiring some neighborhood teens. We’ve done that a few times when, for whatever reason, we just couldn’t mow the lawn. For more complicated jobs, we do hire a professional.
@Ruby, I second this suggestion!
Kristen, your PORK/VEAL CHOP story is hilarious!
I had a chiro appt this morning and afterwards we had lunch at a small local place. They are struggling as the main road in front of them has been under construction for over a YEAR and it’s hard to get to them. We are trying to help a bit. I would be sad to know they made it through Covid only to fold because someone at City Hall dropped the ball.
It seems that when I have a lot of chores to do, especially not fun ones, I do much better when I write a list. Something about crossing things off that list motivates me.
Hi! I don't comment much, but just wanted to say that I am having a similar conundrum with hiring a house cleaner! I work, have young kids, and also dislike cleaning the house (as does my spouse) - and for months I've been thinking about hiring a cleaner to take that off our plates. However, the frugal part of me feels like this is work that we can do ourselves and that money would be much better spent on other priorities. I've been struggling with this for months!
@M, me too! My kids are not young kids anymore, but now when we could afford a housecleaner I'm really balking at throwing the money there. If it were not for my spouse who does an equal share, I would have done it a long time ago.
NO GUILT, M! Go for it.
It will surprise none of you to learn that I have a housecleaner, an organization person, a handyman and a lawn service.
@M, Having a housecleaner is my favorite spend. I hate vacuuming and dusting and not so big on scrubbing (I'm fine with tidying and wiping down any surface). My ladies do a much better job than I do, they're earning a good wage, I don't have to do something I hate, and now they're helping me w Spanish.
Another thing to keep in mind is that it doesn't have to be forever. You can have a cleaner while your kids are young and time-consuming, then reassess later.
@M, I worked as a maid at a hotel and then as a housekeeper while in college. I was happy for the jobs at a time when I could not have found the flexibility for other work. I hired one to come once a week about six years ago after a long bout of illness and surgeries and seeing my husband being beaten down by being responsible for the house and our Irish wolfhounds. I have never regretted it and felt even more thrilled when the woman told me she is able to use our money for small treats for herself and her grandchildren. IN fact it seems like full circle that I was helped by people hiring me and now I can do that for someone else.
@M, time is money and the bottom line is no matter what you are debating, it has to do with priorities in your life at the time and how much time you have to give to something you could afford to delegate.
I had a friend who years ago explained how she assigned a dollar value to an hour of her time (based on pro-rating the salary she was making at the time). She used that as a guideline to help decide, from, first, a solely financial aspect. If she made less than the going rate for any service, that was one consideration. Especially if she would have had to take the money from savings versus any funds available for what I call "operational" expenses for a household. If she made, considerably more, which she did, she generally outsourced.
There is another consideration, which is how well someone we hire to clean, do laundry, etc. does it and if it meets our standards. And then there is availability.
There was a period in my career when I was so busy and traveling so much I paid a lot out for someone to clean and do laundry. And there were very few cooked meals and a lot of premade food and takeout. Do I wish I didn't have to do that? Well, yes.
But...it freed me up to use what little free time I had to spend on the people in my life and doing things that mattered (Going with friends to shows, restaurants, etc.) especially when I was away so much of the time.
One should not, in my opinion. look at things solely from a cost standpoint (Of course if one doesn't literally have the money, then its academic: You do it yourself.)
The conundrum for Kristin is her careful approach to finances (I loathe the term frugal because it is just so much more than that) versus her lack of time.
IN the end, it's what she can live with. It's good that she has the option to pay to hire someone. (My guess is she will make time to do it herself and actually feel good about it not just because she saves money.)
@Lindsey, as always, you rock.
Since having a foot surgery a couple of weeks ago, was able to wear a shoe (although only a large comfy sandal) on my left foot for the first time in over two weeks. Celebrated by driving for the first time also, to go get a hair cut.
Also took a real, proper shower for the first time in the same time and felt almost human, despite the likeness to Frankenstein's monster in my toe.
A cheer for good nurses here. I fainted during one appointment while standing up and having a change of dressing done on my side where they took a skin graft. The bloody (literally) dressing was stuck to the open wound and it all got to be a bit too much. The nurses caught me gently to the ground and woke me up in a very caring way.
Depression and work stress have visited me too. I should make decisions about upcoming school breaks and plan some trips, but it all just overwhelms me. Have to make the trip and spend money to see family, however. Wish it was easier sometimes.
Hope the sun and start of spring will give me some energy.
@Kristina M., You have so much on your plate. One day at a time. (I know it's a cliche but that one helps me a lot.)
Yay for driving again!! And I'm glad that nurses have been good to you.
Another vote for hiring a yard service, at least this time around. The point of frugality is not to hold onto money for its own sake, it is so that you have enough for your needs and beyond that, for things that make life easier. I think $300 is a very reasonable price for the amount of stress it will take away from you and time it will give back to you. In addition, you will be blessing somebody else and possibly their family as well, by providing employment.
In between rehearsals and lessons, I am trying to make a good start on a serious decluttering of the house. One of my goals is to get the house to the point where we can have a cleaning service come in once or twice a month. Right now we have a service come in before big events but getting ready for them is a massive chore. It isn’t terrible, we’re not at the level of people you see on TV, but there’s a lot of important stuff for which I am the only person who knows where it is and that’s not good.
I enjoy reading your stream of consciousness posts because they are cohesive and actually make sense. My stream of consciousness, on the other hand, is a battle of competing thoughts which go off on tangents and down rabbit holes and only occasionally turn cogent, productive and actionable. 😉
Haha, well, if we ACTUALLY took a little tour of the inside of my brain, it would be thoughts pinging around very very fast, and no one would actually be able to keep up.
What comes out in a blog post is more organized than what's inside my brain!
I was thinking about stream of consciousness just now as I drove Bailey dog's mom home from a PET scan of her ovarian tumors (that's tumors in the plural, unfortunately). She was doing a pretty good riff of SoC, and I just let her talk, only putting in a question here and there as needed. I think we all need to do this from time to time (I certainly do), and it struck me that my lending an ear may be among the most helpful things I can do for her. She's trying not to scare her two daughters (both in their late 20s and just starting their own lives) out of their wits, and her husband is the strong silent type.
The rest of my day has gone much more cheerfully. More details in tomorrow's Thankful Thursday.
And a P.S. to myself and everyone else: I'm starting to worry a bit that we haven't heard from JD since last Friday's post. I hope all's well with her and her family.
@A. Marie, When I was at my most ill, with surgery after surgery (15 of them!), having someone listen to me just go on and on was the best friendship gift ever. My husband would listen, too, but I grew afraid of constantly talking about my illness, to the exclusion of everything else. Having someone else to dump emotions on was a blessing. Your kindness in listening is indeed a gift.
I am drawing up my garden plan. My front flower beds need to be cleaned out. I want to expand the garden bed on the side of the house, I also want to plant a Meyer lemon tree. I need to fertilize all my flowers. I need to order caladium bulbs …
I am wondering why I can grow flowers and herbs, but I can not grow a vegetable.
I am upset that so many of the people who live in my neighborhood will not take the time to train their small dogs. So many of these little canines misbehave and their owners think it’s cute. It is not funny when a 15-pound dog tries to attack my Rescue Pup who is nearly 100 pounds. Fortunately she and I are both trained. She follows directions fairly well, but I do not like being put in a difficult position where I could be hurt. Sadly, if anything were to happen to the little dog, my big dog would be blamed even if she wasn’t the aggressor.
I’m loving the weather on this bright, crisp almost spring day..
Maybe you could find a local teen that wants to earn some extra spending money to rake your leaves, etc? Likely would not be $300, you'd be helping a teen earn some gas money and save you time as well? Just a thought 🙂
@Shelley, I have to agree. If we were closer, my son would jump on the opportunity.
About that yardwork: you have children in the area, yes?
A classic ambivalent situation: a club friend from a few years ago died last week, quite unexpectedly (boo). A group of us who aren't even part of that club any more but are now real friends, swung into action to notify current and former club members (yay us). (One reason we're not part of the club any more is that the club head doesn't do community creation activities such as this. (boo him)). The visitation was a bit sad (boo) and the ad hoc "club meeting" over dinner was a lot of fun (yay). The larger group has decided to try to get together a few times a year (yay) so this will be in addition to my friends getting together.
I'm cooking more even though I still need to crouch down under the stove to turn on and off the gas each time.
I thought of a wow trip that my gimpy roommate could take, that would be both unusual and - probably - scooter friendly.
Not feeling great and just finished the new book by a favorite author. I've had some interesting thoughts about the themes of her books so I will check out the one I didn't like to see if my new thoughts makes the book more interesting. I can't physically go get the book but can reserve it online.
I really fell off the wagon for the good habits I'm trying to form, such as doing PT every day. Maybe it's because I didn't realize I'm under the weather?
Girl Scout cookies.
Can we know the author? 🙂
So sorry you are under the weather!
@Kristen, Kristen "with a name like that, it has to be good" Cashore, the Graceling series. I think they're marketed as older end of YA but they deal with two themes: the appropriate ethical use of extraordinary power, and PTSD/what happens after an abusive or terrible situation nominally comes to an end.
"Veal chop?!" I was a labor and delivery nurse for 24 years and I've never heard if this! Of course I looked it up.
Hahah, well, I'm sure YOU can monitor fetal heart rates properly without needing a mnemonic.
But my green self needs some memory help. 😉
It's interesting that you talk about a wave of emotions because I always visualized labor contractions as waves. I imagined riding that wave like you do in the ocean; I can't control a wave, but I can ride it to the end. Something like that. Maybe that image will help another laboring mother in your nursing career.
I'm excited that my children's new piano teacher got back to me. She was recommended, but when I contacted her, she was sick. Then hospitalized sick. Then recovering. Now she well enough to do lessons. I hope this works out.
Parenting young adults is so much harder than little children.
I've almost worked through all those carrots. So. Many. Carrots. But we have a lot of people to eat carrots.
Today I went looking for my crocuses. Bloomed!
The end.
Agreed on the parenting. A mothering role is so much more well-defined with smaller children. As children get older, things get so much fuzzier and I find myself constantly unsure of how much to interfere and how much to be hands-off.
@Jody S., My grandmother used to say "little children, little problems; big children, big problems."
Honestly with the yard work I’d probably just try starting it and if you are at it for 30min to an hour and still not feeling it then call it quits and hire your neighbor. That’s just my advice.
SOC is my favorite posting method. I can write in bullet points, but as Kristen said of herself, the thoughts ping around in my brain.
Rose and A. Marie, your knowledge of the Victorian era and post-Victorian is amazing. Makes me wonder why I enjoyed The Crown and Downton Abbey. I think I liked The Crown because Queen Victoria was short and plump (as am I). And the Dowager was my fave in Downton Abbey.
I used to love to clean house and even get down on my hands and knees to mop. I don't know exactly when it happened, but loving to do it and getting it done have becomes worlds apart. The last cleaners I had in left me a little discouraged because they did not dust well (used just a feather duster?) and left streaks of dirt residue with the "swiffer mop." I can do that by myself. I'm sure it is because of the fear I might miss something on fb. Playing online scrabble against the computer or Poppit on pogo. So it boils down to resetting priorities. Hard to admit.
@Chrissy, Queen Vicky was a bit of a weirdo but I actually have a lot of time for the Prince Consort. He was an extremely smart guy who did quite a lot in his short life. The British royal family have been downhill ever since, frankly. I cannot stand Charles. (Remember when he advocated homeopathic remedies and coffee enemas to treat cancer? How's that working out for you, Chuckles?)
I will say the new Swiffer mop is much better than the older kind. It gets stuff much cleaner.
My son ended his marriage about the same time you did. Though your circumstances are very different, your posts about your circumstances have helped me to know better how to support him. I'm sitting up tonight, waiting for his ex mother-in-law to bring my grandson to me for the night. My son is working & we're his childcare. She took him to meet his new half brother.
Four months after my son moved out, she was engaged to be married again. And a short yr later she has another child. So I'm sitting in the quiet, grateful that the baby came while my son was at work. That he did not have to send his son away to meet his little brother.
Most days I don't have time to think about it all. Today was packed with packing...we're moving in a few months into a new build next door....a granny house. So I packed & sorted boxes, met with the counter people, corralled info from city water, went over details with the painter....& more before my son brought my grandson over. Soon, they'll live in this house & we'll be next door & it will be so much easier to support each other.
Love the stream of consciousness posts. Am amazed that you can still fit blogging into your schedule, so thanks for that.
It doesn't matter whether or not you share what you have been writing down about your feelings and experiences as you navigate this major change in your life. Writing whenever you feel like it (not forced) and as something comes to mind, will prove to be very helpful to you both now and down the road.
Very often our memories don't serve us well and when we have written something down, as it happens and as honestly as we are able, it can serve to help us along the new path.
I have written in one form or another (journal, jottings here and there; as part of a program I might have undertaken to help me deal with a life situation, etc.) since I was a teenager (Anyone remember what they called "slam books"? They were actually those black and white school notebooks that posed various questions about all kinds of stuff and were passed around to others, who added their thoughts (Anonymously). Some included not so nice comments but mostly it was the old-school equivalent of Twitter/Z, Instagram and Facebook!)
I have found a lot of unexpected insights into my behavior and choices when reading what I've written. Once you give yourself permission to just WRITE, you will be amazed at what comes out.
And although it might be helpful to hear others comments/thoughts, I'd be very careful about with whom you share, on or offline. It's a fine line at times between what should be shared beyond a close real-life circle and online, even when you have a solid, loyal and respectful online audience. You don't owe anyone else your story. It's lovely that you think it might help but there are risks you might not be aware of that I wouldn't even discuss here for obvious reasons. I've known women who shared and ended up having others (lawyers! family!) use that information against them. Not trying to scare you but asking you to think how shared information could be misused. Once it's out there online, it's out there. Perhaps personal email to email rather than posting even with a password only access to a site?
Just keep writing. It's the conversation you have with yourself. It can be both revealing and very healing.
I enjoy stream of consciousness for a number of reasons, but mostly because I love hearing how other people think and what they think about. What pops up in their minds.
Sometimes these sort of out of the blue thoughts lead to interesting things in our lives.
I remember several times when doing SOC writing that I became more aware/conscious of what in my life needed my attention and energy---and what did not.
So it can be fun, entertaining and revelatory. And directional.
Thanks for sharing.
FYI: So much of what is in social media is, in essence, stream of consciousness sharing!
Kristen, if finding time to do the yard work is stressing you out even a little, it’s worth it to pay for cleanup. You are at a busy phase with limited free time. Spend those hours doing stuff you enjoy ☺️
I think you should pay to have the yard done this year. It is worth it right now to help alleviate more stress while you pursue your nursing degree. Give yourself some down time without another chore hanging over your head.
I can't stop listening to that piece..so good!
Re: Holding babies ... our oldest kid had surgery to repair a hernia when he was ~18 months old. My heart still remembers going into recovery and seeing a nurse holding our (super, robust!) boy as he came out of anesthesia. She looked like she was older, towards the end of her career and I was filled with such gratitude for the love and care she showed.
Whatever niche you find, you're gonna be amazing.
Oh, OB nurses are fantastic people! I worked in a hospital child care center when my son was born, and my labor nurses were both moms with kids in my room! They were wonderful, and the familiarity made the difficult aspects much easier and less scary.
What about hiring local students or college students to do yard landscaping for fraction of the cost?
Thank you for sharing the piano music! I love it - so relaxing!
Stream of thought:
Today I am back and forth about my church outfit as it is currently 18 degrees outside and I have a 1.5mile walk each way (and then a disproportionately warm 1 hr church inside time). I settled on capri yoga pants, a navy wool mini skirt that twirls (I am tall so it would be too short without layers), a pink short sleeve shirt, a white cotton chunky sweater for the walk, an insulated vest “dress” & cashmere gray scarf - outer layers for walk only.
I am absolutely overwhelmed by menu plans for next 2 weeks. We have visitors and they are plant based & semi-keto. My husband is low calorie high protein. I am semi gluten free & love dairy.
In cleaning out my pen pal letter collection I am hesitant to discard letters from many although it has been months since I’ve heard from them. Is it the mail taking a long time? Or is it the slow fade of waning friendship?
——end thoughts——
I think your Patreon idea is fantastic. Unrelatedly I wondered if you had tried somatic yoga, and if so had any suggestions of who to learn from on YouTube or elsewhere
Sheesh that is a lot of dietary restrictions to work around!
I have never tried somatic yoga, no.