Since it's Memorial Day....
I know it'll be slow around here, due to it being an American holiday.
Sooo, I didn't want to put up a Meet a Reader post, because then that poor participant might not get a lot of engagement.
And that would be a little bit sad.
Speaking of a little bit sad...this last week, a truck came to pick up Lisey's car for shipping to Hawaii.
I did not anticipate that this would make me sad, and I really was fine the whole time I was chatting with the guy and signing papers.
But once the truck drove away and I came back inside, I surprised myself by bursting into tears.
It's not that I'm particularly attached to that car; I think it was more that it really brought home the stark reality that Lisey is leaving.
The car doesn't matter; it's that the car comes with Lisey.
I thought back over this last bonus year with Lisey...how every day I'd see her car pull into the driveway, and then her chaotic self would walk into the house. I will miss that.
I know she will be ok.
I know I will be ok.
I know that this is how life is supposed to go; I do really want her to launch into her own adult life!
But you know how I get those waves of sadness over the trauma from my marriage, and how I just have to cry through those?
I think this is a little like that; I will have some waves of sadness over Lisey leaving, and I will just have to cry through the waves.
But also! I have some cheering thoughts to return to as well.
Like...
This last year was a bonus of having Lisey around! I didn't think she'd ever live with me again once she left for school. Having her here from ages 21-22 is an extra blessing that not everyone gets...often kids are off at college at that point.
It is a blessing that I left my marriage when I did; otherwise, Lisey would not have moved back home. I am so grateful she wanted to be here with me!
She has done a very impressive job of getting herself into a solid career with a very good pay level. I am so proud of how she has managed to pull this off over the course of a number of very challenging years.
She was 17 the first time I left my marriage (midway through 2018) and the years following have been full of all sorts of personal chaos. But she hung in there and kept pursuing her dreams, and that's very impressive.
She's getting to have a serious adventure! She's moving to an island in the ocean, and I am delighted for her.
She's leaving on good terms with me. I love her, and she loves me. The distance between us will not change that fact.
She's still going to need me, just in different ways. And thanks to technology, I can offer her support and a listening ear from over here. 🙂
In the year that she lived away at school, we still talked almost every day, whether it was texting, Facetime, or phone calls. We will have to navigate a time difference now, but I know we will make it work. 🙂
(I think I've told you before that in her phone, she has my first name as "Mom" and my last name as "hellllllp" because I am who she calls when she needs to vent or get advice or be calmed down. It makes me happy to know that she knows she can depend on me to be there for her, even though she IS a very independent person.)
You know that post I wrote back in 2021, when Lisey left for school originally?
I said something like, "There was beauty then. There is beauty now. And there will be beauty in the future."
There are all sorts of ways to have a beautiful relationship with Lisey, and this new phase we are moving into will be beautiful in its own way.
Our relationship will change and shift, but that is ok. It's how it is supposed to be! It has always been changing and shifting, and it will continue to do so as long as we both live.
I just need to stay flexible with the shifts and trust that there will be beautiful and good things in every shift.
This is the best kind of leaving a parent can hope for; the kind where a child is leaving for a positive reason, and on good terms. There's no better way I could write this story.
But when she flies out on Wednesday: I AM STILL GOING TO CRY. 😉
Hmm. I had a lot more to say about this than I thought! That happens frequently when I sit down at my keyboard.
Thank you for reading. And we'll be back to regularly scheduled programming around here tomorrow.
P.S. In case there are questions: her employer is paying to ship her car and motorcycle over. It's so expensive to ship vehicles, it would not be worth it for Lisey to pay for it! But since it's free for her, she opted to ship them. That way she has immediate transportation lined up once she moves there.
Crying is good! It's appropriate, cathartic, and a testament to your love for an amazing child/young woman who is doing exactly what you taught and raised her to be: her very own self, complete and completely capable of making her way in her world, the world she's chosen. Good job, Mom! So pat yourself on the back! And then go cry.
@JDinNM, Yes, very eloquently said! ❤️❤️
@JDinNM, so well said!
I love Kristen's post. What a gift to have such a special mother/daughter relationship. Now I could cry!
@JDinNM, well put! Be proud of the daughter you raised. I’m excited to her about her new adventures.
Oh yes, I am so proud of her!
Awwww....of course you will cry! Your baby is always your baby even if she's an incredibly capable young woman now, and she will be far away. But thank goodness for today's technology--you will always be able to reach her within minutes and see her dear face. Congrats to both of you.
Also, anyone interested in a betting pool about how long it takes Lisey to adopt a cat in Hawaii?
@Rose, re: the cat adoption, I'll start the betting at "one week." And you've otherwise said exactly what I was thinking as I read Kristen's post. Congratulations to our dynamic mother-daughter duo.
@A. Marie, okay, I'll take two weeks.
mom hellllp….what a crackup! And it’s just perfect!
I know, right? She's so funny.
And I am content to be Mom Hellllp into perpetuity. 😉
@Jen, This is one of the sweetest things I’ve heard. What a tribute to how great of a mom Kristen is.
That transition from in-house daughter to independent young woman was the hardest period of childrearing for me. My daughter was thriving, but oh, did I miss her. I missed seeing her and talking to her every day, hearing about her thoughts, feelings and adventures. She is my only, so it is maybe a bit different, but there is definitely an adjustment period.
Your attitude is great though, and one I adopted myself. Thinking that 'this is the way it is supposed to be' definitely helped modulate the feeling of being a bit left-behind.
It changes, but it can still be beautiful. 🙂
Yes! "This is the way it is supposed to be" is so super helpful to me. We WANT our children to grow up and make their own lives. This is normal. It is good.
AND it is hard.
@Kristen, I am the reader who needs to learn exactly that "AND", so I am particularily thankful for you writing this post.
I think it's beautiful that you allow your feelings of sadness - it shows your love just as much as letting her go out and do her own thing.
Sending virtual hugs to you, Kristen! What a beautiful relationship you have with Lisey. It's hard to let go, and it's ok to be both excited for her and sad that she's moving away.
I've discovered over my adult years that I'm the emotional, sensitive, cries-at-everything-sentimental woman that my teenage self scoffed at when others did it. Ironic much?
The waves of sadness hit me at random times. This year my oldest was "promoted" from 5th grade and will attend middle school in the fall. I cried at the end of the year events, except the actual "promotion" ceremony. I was proud of him, but also a little sad at the end of his elementary era. I'm happy, but it is a little bittersweet. I'm doing my best to enjoy every stage while it lasts.
Kristen- the oldest of my 4 children just finished 11th grade. I'm already getting nervous about having my first senior in high school and all the "lasts." This will be her last summer beak, then her last first day of school, the last year all our kids will be at home, etc. This post had me tearing up. I needed to hear that part about how there was beauty then, there's beauty now, and there will be beauty in the future. Thank you for this!
Aww, you guys!!! Thank you for letting us have a glimpse into your beautiful relationship with your daughter. I know it will only get more beautiful with time!
feelings are feelings. they are not good or bad. they just are. you should be very proud of both of you. if lisey is good with sharing, i would love to c some pics of hawaii. if not that is ok too. good luck to all of you. thanks for posting today. reading your blog is always a treasure. i am sorry for the sad things you have gone through. wish i could make it better.
I have loved the bonus years we have had with our children home! They have been the best! Youngest getting married in less than two weeks so soon he will be gone completely but so many memories of them gem all being home over the years. Crying is good for the soul.
No I don’t comment often:)
It is wonderful to have a great relationship with Lisey! I feel so fortunate to have that with all three of my daughters. I'll bet you do with all your daughters too. Your daughters are so beautiful - all of them different - all of them beautiful!
( I wrote a comment a few minutes ago and forgot to hit “ comment “ so here I go again and hope I don’t post twice)
Kristen, if you didn’t have such a strong and good relationship with Lisey, you may not be affected as deeply as you are today. I’m really glad you and Lisey had this gift of an extra year together.
All of these changes for Lisey and for you are so good. But I truly understand your tears. I cried in empathy as I was reading your post. Especially in our relationships with our kids, changes can really be hard. Lisey’s move is a major one. You will still both be there for each other, maybe even in deeper, more beautiful ways.
I hope Lisey can transition smoothly into her new job and culture but even if there are rough patches, she’ll learn as she goes and gain a treasure trove of wisdom along the way. And she has you!
Yes! Her experience, complete with all the ups and downs, will all be good growth opportunities for her.
There is something about watching a car getting loaded onto a transport truck and then that truck driving away. I think it brings an awareness, to a degree that was not there previously, that "Wow, this really major life change or shift is starting RIGHT NOW". I have watched my own car leave several times -- once in the back of a huge moving van, a couple of times on a transport truck. Each time it unexpectedly took my breath away. I so relate to your tears, Kristen.
Sending you a big hug! I cried as each of mine moved out but was comforted by the fact that I had extra at home years with each of them and we would still be a big part of each others lives. Thank goodness for all the modern technology to facilitate that. One just got married, two more are getting married this fall, one next fall and one says that’s never happening. lol
You raised a wonderful daughter and gave her the confidence she needs to set off on such a grand adventure. Big pat on the back for you! Congratulations on doing such a wonderful job! Keep being frugal and start saving for a plane ticket to Hawaii. Best wishes to Lisey on her big adventure!
I also cried when a car was taken away, but it was my Dad's car, after he died. So I get it.
Kristen - Posts like this are one of the reasons I am a devoted reader of your blog! I just want to give you the biggest hug ever!
I have 4 grown children, and with each departure there has been that deeply conflict of pride and sadness. It’s only recently that I learned to process those feelings through tears though. I was raised with the notion losing control of one’s emotions was a failing in character, which is of course absolute nonsense! But it was deeply ingrained, and a hard habit to break.
Because I didn’t process things properly, it has affected my health in permanent ways.
So you cry as much as you need to with the knowledge you are keeping yourself healthy - emotionally and physically!
Yes, that is what I am hanging onto through all of this processing of the hurt from my marriage: that if I trust the process and just let myself cry as much as I need to, then the trauma is going to move through faster than it would otherwise.
I don't anticipate needing to cry nearly as much over Lisey leaving, but I think the principle still applies.
Once again I feel like I'm from another planet. "just let myself cry as much as I need to"--what are the other options? If I need to cry, I cry.
Beaming back to Vulcan now. I hope you humans are OK! heh.
Believe me, you can stuff your feelings pretty well if you want to. At least, I can and I did for a very long time.
Also: people numb and distract themselves all the time to keep from feeling the feelings. But I keep hearing that the best thing is to just roll with whatever comes up.
@Kristen, that's exactly what my certified therapist told me last week: that because I'm feeling my feelings of grief and loss over this unwanted divorce, and letting the crying happen when those come up, I *will*get through the grief and loss faster.
Just read something helpful in a book, also---"Tears are a healing mechanism."
Grateful to God for inventing that process!!!
Yes, exactly. Shoving the grief and the tears down is what makes you get stuck.
Your post had me in tears too as I recalled my own girls leaving home for the last time. Thank you for sharing your feelings.
Most the mom's I know cry when kids fly the roost. Grieving the loss of close companionship when they live in your home. But, also, happy they are going out to make a life and grow. So, very bittersweet and that deserves a good cry. A bit cathartic.
Crying is good. I think there was one time that I cried after my son left home to live his life. It was Christmas Eve and the local news did a montage of people being met at the airport with Simon and Garfunkels "Homeward Bound" playing in the background. He didn't come home that year for Christmas so that whole thing hit right then.
I thank God for facetime cause my son calls me every Saturday night. He now lives in Korea. The family went to Singapore in March for his wedding and that was fun. He and my daughter in law may be home for Christmas this year or not.
Lissy will be fine and you will be fine too. Gotta let our kids fly out of the nest.
Beautiful words. Since my boys are now grownups the song Landslide by Fleetwood Mac slays me.
I miss them. I love them. I am so happy they are doing well and independent. One lives three time zones away. But I do miss them while still loving my empty quiet nest. It’s just all the things.
Life is always changing.
Bon voyage Lisey!
You've got the whole shifting dynamics of children becoming adults right. Some of it brings up hard emotions, but some of it is also very beautiful.
When my oldest started college and my youngest started middle school, I wrote this column for my (then) newspaper gig. Boy, you brought back memories. Thank you. https://marybethdanielson.com/content/rites-passage-they-pop-everywhere
Ahh, thank you for sharing! I liked your comment about world peace. Heh.
Your post made me cry, unexpectedly. My son is 25 and lives in snotty Carolina with his wife. She is getting her PhD, and the plan to move back to Minneapolis after she finishes school, to be closer to family and friends. And that makes me soooooo happy! They are in town all week for a friend’s wedding, so they are staying with us, and it just makes me so happy. Like crying tears of joy happy.
And my daughter, who moved to Colorado to start her own adventure, got an opportunity to do research for 2 months in Minnesota. She gets here tonight, and I am sooooo excited! Again cue happy tears.
And when each of the leaves, I know I will feel sad, even though I’m so happy for them and proud of the adults they have become.
That connection to our kids, if we are lucky, is such a source of joy and the bittersweet that goes along with them become adults. I’m feeling so grateful today. And your post made me grateful, because I realized that not everyone gets to have such a rich relationship with their children. Blessings to you and Lisey❤️
You got this! I am also a crier. When I have to, I just cry.Feels so much better than holding it in!! And, you and Lisey are so solid, that’s forever. What a glorious week for her..and you’re so proud!! Good job,Mama!!
And you'll have a good reason to travel to Hawai'i.
I have appreciated over the years how you've talked about your kids leaving home. I have a recent college grad and a soon-to-be third year college kid, and I find each time they visit (both are here for the summer), it's a rollercoaster of different emotions for me: a bit of culture shock getting used to young people in the house again, bittersweetness that things will never be as they were before (even though I know they're not supposed to be -- and really I wouldn't want them to be), pride in their growth, joy in that things won't be like they used to be -- that they're growing and changing and that's fabulous, little zings where I feel like I want to gather them up in my pockets and keep them forever (though I really don't want that). All the feelings are legitimate. It's good to recognize them. Growth and change are wonderful, but they come with some emotional side, too. Thanks for your help in navigating.
Oh, I'm glad it's been helpful for me to share!
Wednesday! Oh my goodness... that last month was fast. Extra hugs to you both this week!
Such an opportunity for Lisey to go to Hawaii--with a job. Lucky that they will be shipping her transportation because purchasing a car here is expensive, never mind there.
Many people don't even get to visit there. She may live there for the rest of her life (my friend's son lives somewhere on Hawaii), or maybe just a year. Today, we don't know. A lucky kid.
Your feet are hitting the ground again. I certainly understand your emotional swings. Getting out in nature will help getting past when they hit.
This made me tear up just reading about Lisey’s departure.
We have teared up many times this weekend as my son, dil and grandkids have been missionaries for the last 3 years in Thailand! They just arrived back in the states on Saturday evening. They were gone for 3 years. We couldn’t stop hugging in the airport!! Yes, you will get used to the time change and find that convenient time to be able to FaceTime each other. YOU are no doubt a survivor of the best kind, meaning, there is a time to mourn and there is a time for dancing and there is joy comes I. The morning! Hang in there. You are loved!
For what it’s worth, I left home at 22 and have spent the last 18 years living 10,000 miles from my mom. We’re every bit as close as we were when we lived in the same house - we text several times a week and talk almost every week for at least an hour. We’ve been on numerous holidays - just the two of us - and when my son was born in 2021 she gathered her courage (and assorted face masks) and flew halfway around the world in the midst of a global pandemic to be here for me while I learned how to be a mom. (Her comment when I asked if she was sure she wanted to make that trip: “you need your mom when you become a mom. It was the only time my mom went to visit my sister after she went out east, and if my mom could make that trip alone in 1980, then I can do it too.”) It was worth it: Hers was the first face my son smiled at; “Grandma” the first name he learned after Mama; and most mornings when he spots an airplane in the sky on our way to daycare he’ll ask “Grandma on airplane in sky, Mama? Grandma come play?” And I have never felt so loved as when my mom danced my newborn around my kitchen singing South Pacific…
In many ways the pandemic showed us just how blase we had become about geographical distance, but it has also taught us new ways to bring people close when they can’t be in the same room. So I guess what I’m saying is that distance actually doesn’t matter if your relationship is strong; if your relationship isn’t strong, distance becomes an easy excuse.
Aww, I love this! Thanks for sharing.
@Jules the First, Gosh, this made me tear up big time. So well said.
Congrats on this milestone for her, and for getting through all you both have been through! What a sweet relationship/mother-daughter bond. Cry away!
I have pictures of me crying at airports so much. We live 9000 Km away from our son. We love him, cherish the relationship and enjoy seeing him grow. I started asking myself how to be a good mother to an adult, how much space , how much support . Next year , he will be moving to NZ, the other side of the world. The good parts is when you meet, you really spend time together. We still do family trips when ever possible and he fly back home once a year. But from NZ to the caraibes is going to be impossible.
I had my turn but I still envy that feeling of the entire world opening up to you, and the energy and health to go after whatever interests you. And I love the purple hair in the first picture! She seems to be going out into the world so well equipped to take every opportunity offered to her. Good job, Mom.
That purple was so pretty! Sadly her new job requires her to have regular hair, so she's back to brown.
But...she's gonna live in Hawaii. She can only be so sad about having brown hair. Ha.
Ah I’m surprised they actually have a rule about a hair color. I’m hoping she and the family get free flights where she works-that would be a nice bonus!!
Yeah, apparently it's pretty typical for them to require regular hair colors.
I'm hoping for some flight benefits too! That would make it way easier to come see her. Or for her to come see us!
I enjoyed this post. I myself and I assume others as well can relate with your feelings. ❤️
My mom cried when I moved my bedroom furniture to an apartment 10 miles away, and that was AFTER I finished* college. She and I were not close, so maybe that is just a mom thing that cannot be avoided.
You have done a fantastic job of rearing an independent woman. I wonder how long it will be before she gets her pilot license. And if she decides that Hawaii isn't for her, chances are she'll not be getting her car shipped back.
Once again, thank you, Kristen, for showing us how to navigate these tough times.
*"finished", not graduated. Just stopped going after 5 years of meandering.
You mentioned your own divorce twice in a post about your daughter and her future. I hope you are realizing that perhaps you married young and yes things change but your whole identity cannot STILL be wrapped up in a marriage. That’s not what young women need to see to be strong!
@Heather, I was torn because I so badly wanted to say “I hope no one dignifies that comment with a reply” yet I had to actually reply to do so! Oh my.
@Heather, Mentioning a divorce, which is a cataclysmic event after a long marriage, does not mean one's whole identity is wrapped up in a marriage. And Kristen is doing very well just 18 months after leaving. (Or whatever it is.)
I don't understand why you keep trolling Kristen when she is really a lovely amd strong person.
@Rose, trolling? Having an opinion of my own that constant talk of marriage and divorce is not what I’d want my kids to see in my posts about THEM. it’s called an opinion and perspective of another human. You’re welcome to yours of course! But defaulting to name calling of trolling… it’s a strange choice.
Interestingly, I think I am probably far more qualified to know what Lisey wants to see in a post than you are. Know what she doesn't like to see? Comments like yours, which are insults clothed in concern.
She read your comments on this post with a disgusted eye-roll, especially because she knows your history of leaving unkind comments under multiple names.
@Heather, Marriage and divorce affects the children as well, of course. The post is about Kristen, not Lisey.
@Heather, Marinell,
WHY?
Mmmm, yes, this is such a serious concern for me. Every day I wake up and worry that Lisey is a little on the weak side and that I haven't set a strong enough example for her.
If only she was brave enough to pursue a non-typical dream. If only she was adventurous enough to fly out of the nest. It's such a pity her life will be so small and her perspective so narrow, all because of the poor precedent I've set. 😉
@Kristen, I just read that hurtful comment and I hope you know we readers understand why you should be hurt by this divorce. It’s not how you envisioned your life and it’s totally fine to let others and your kids know how much it hurts. I wish we could heal the hurts but only God can do that and I feel like with his help you and your kids will come out stronger on the other side of this. Lot’s of us are praying for you in this very difficult period in your life. I think I’ve read your blog from almost the very beginning and want to thank you for enriching my life with your writings and sharing of your family!
@Linda, It takes a lot of courage to admit how much a divorce is hurting you. It's easier to make light of it and pretend everything is great and you washed that man right out of your hair and if he don't love you any more, just walk your fine a-- out the door (though I love Lizzo).
@Kristen, Ha ha, be very proud of the strong girl you raised and the example you've set. And the sharing you do is what makes your blog so special.
@Kristen, It's interesting because I think it takes a lot of courage to talk about things like divorce or other life challenges publicly!
IMHO it will make Lisey a stronger person because she knows that no matter what relationship choices she makes or how they work out, she will receive non-judgmental support from her mother who understands that life does not always go as planned! That is SO freeing!!!
Lots of women suffer through terrible abuse or are even killed by their partners because they feel like staying in an abusive relationship is the better alternative than being shamed by their family or certain members of society.
It takes strength to leave and it is often a long process, both physically and emotionally! 🙂
I agree. And talking about the struggles is helpful to other people...sharing the ups and downs, the bad and the good helps other people feel not so alone, I think.
@Kristen, I forgot to mention that part! It's actually what makes your blog so great and relatable.
I am also no longer with my husband, who I met during my university days as well, so definitely no judgement here. It took me a LONG time to get over it and process all the feelings.
Would have been a lot better if I cried and shared my feelings more, not less, I think.
Prayers for Lisey as she enters this new chapter in her life. You’ve raised an amazing and beautiful woman and I’m sure she will be successful in all her endeavors. It’s hard to have our kids so far away but just know that lots of us are rooting for the both of you!
A good friend moved to Hawaii after her husband passed,pretty much Liseys story in a 50 year old,knew no one,had a job offer and away she went!
She thrived,loved the weather,we're in upstate NY, enough said,lol.
My daughter left for SC in 2005,my heart just broke,I refused to do Thanksgiving,she was there,knew no one and her BF,got diagnosed with cancer and was in surgery.
Their Dad passed away in April 06,so back for that,then brought me back with her to Charleston, didn't handle the death well at all.
The happy ending is she came back in 15, met a great guy,got engaged and bought a house,her and her brother are 10 minutes away.
Anyhow,all this verbage is just meant to say,enjoy your sad thoughts,ride through them and stay proud of you giving her wings to fly!
Awww, I'm so glad your daughter is back. Yay!
Kristen, Empty nesting is hard; crying helps. You are so right about technology helping, too. Our two sons live States away from us with their families. But, we make and eat dinner together every Sunday night (barring travel) via Zoom. It is so much fun!
Would I rather have them right in town? Of course. But they both found wonderful jobs in their field so we’re proud of them and we do what we can. Casual FaceTimes during the week, too, but the Sunday Zoom dinner is the winner.
Oh, the zoom meals sound like such a fun idea!
Congrats to Kristen for the great job of raising these kids and now that they are grown up
and sprouting wings to fly away from the home nest and discover the big world out there is hard. Crying is good for the soul and so glad you are one normal mother who needs the comfort of crying as she is going to be so far away from you!! I wish her the best and sure hope she doesn't get homesick but enjoys her new job and surroundings!! Now I am going to cry as this is one hard transition to get used to and all. Hang in there is all I can say to both of you!!
Karen
Lots of love and prayerw
This made me tear up too!
You guys are SO DARN CUTE together!! Love it!!
Aww, thank you.
Crying is good. I cried before my child left for collage, far away, cried every day, then it's OK. I had 'Parents Weekend' to attend, will you?
Well, since she's moving there for a job, no. But I DO want to go visit once she gets settled.
Loved this post. Love your approach, and am hoping I can muster up the strength to have a similar take when I drop my first kid off at college next year!
Awww, I feel ya, Mama (and I'm not even there yet with my kids). It's one of those things in life where you're allowed to be happy for them but still a little sad for you. It is wonderful that you got a bonus year with her under your roof.
I absolutely feel for you and understand what you're going through. My youngest daughter moved home for all of 2019 - she had been teaching English in Korea before that - and then moved at the end of the year to Australia. There was very strict lockdown there so we didn't see her for all of 2020 and until Christmas of 2021. She has come home the last two Christmas holidays so we have scheduled a trip later this year because it's our turn. Thank goodness for Facetime, Skype, What's App and all the other communication options! (If I had to wait for a letter and not see her face, I think I wouldn't make it) I'm absolutely thrilled for my daughter and her new life - she has thrived in Sydney. And I try very hard to concentrate on that. Though I'd be lying if I said I wasn't sad or worried sometimes.
Best of Luck to Lisey! I think you can both do it! I hope she thrives in Hawaii- and I hope you get to visit her!
So beautifully said, Kristen!
I git pretty teared up when I read it.
Godspeed, Lisey- and blessings to you as well, momma!
my best friend is moving out west. plane ride far. we've lived near each other for the last 18 years. these words and thoughts are so helpful for me. thank you <3
I feel you on this. My son and daughter just graduated from college, and it feels as bittersweet to me as when we dropped them off for college. I wasn’t expecting it to hit like it has as this is what’s supposed to happen and they are doing great! Upon reflection, it is the transition to a new life phase where they won’t have lengthy breaks when we generally saw them that is giving me the feels. I can probably expect them at the major holidays until they get serious with a significant other, but given the limited vacation time they are likely getting with their adult jobs, that might be it! Yes we can visit them and perhaps one of them will have a job where they could work remotely for a week, but it will definitely look different. ❤️ thanks be for modern technology for sure! Congratulations to Lisey and thanks for the unexpected solidarity/pep talk!
I feel that grief and it's debilitating but I get through it. My child (Marissa) met her amazing wife, Valeksa during COVID. The traveled back and forth to NYC and Columbus, Ohio taking classes online. Not only have a gained an amazing daughter I have and continue to heal and watch my trans child thrive and finding their place in the world. They depart to Germany - Valeksa in June and Marissa in July. My heart is shattered AND I so happy and excited for their schooling. Valeksa is in a 3 year program to train as an Executive Chef and Marissa is attending University to get the Diploma in Sound Engineering. Have you heard of "Be-Real" feature in tik-tok? Every day at same time (you establish the time with her) you can take a photo of what you are doing and where you are at and comment.
I LOVE IT - hope to continue and looking into long distance options as well. Thank you for sharing this - my dear friend showed me your blog - hugs to Martha.
Good luck!