Q&A | Meal Planning? What's that??
A question- I’d love to hear how your menu planning and cooking habits have changed in going to a smaller household! It seems like you don’t meal plan as much but I might be misinterpreting!
I am in a phase of life where I need to meal plan to get food on the table (3 kids under 5) but I love hearing about how people in different phases handle this!
This is very true; I fly by the seat of my pants so much more than I used to (in many ways, honestly.)
Part of this is because I am in a smaller household, but also part of it is that I am free from expectations.
My sole roomie (Miss Zoe) does not have an entitled attitude about what I cook or how fancy I make meals, and she also really doesn't care if we get takeout or she needs to fend for herself.
I also have a fair number of evenings where I am feeding only me, and that is the ultimate easy way to eat! I just poke around in the fridge and come up with some combination of protein, veggies, carbs, and sauce.
Or sometimes I make myself a little plate of whole wheat blueberry pancakes with a side of cottage cheese and call it dinner. 😉
I do have to be careful with quantities; I'm certainly not making 9x13-inch pans of anything! And if I do make a larger batch, I usually freeze part of it for a future meal.
For instance, if I make a pot of pulled pork, I freeze it in meal-size portions. Or if I make burgers, I freeze half the patties (ungrilled) for a future meal.
As far as planning goes; I used to plan a good week or two at a time.
But now I just sort of have a loose idea of what I might make in the next few days. It has to be flexible because sometimes Zoe's schedule and plans are unpredictable (teenagers tend to make last-minute plans, as you fellow parents probably know!)
So, yes...I am way more loosey-goosey in the kitchen than I used to be, but it all works out ok.
More adjustment will come my way in the future too; I will finish school eventually and then start a real job as a nurse, so that will change my cooking patterns.
Also, one day Zoe will move out and then I'll be down to just feeding myself all the time (at which point I will have to fight the urge to just eat an egg and veggie skillet for every meal. Ha.)
No matter what changes about my life circumstances, though, I'm pretty some things will stay consistent.
Like, I will probably always try to:
- mostly cook at home
- feed myself foods that aren't super processed
- avoid food waste
Since you got divorced and are no longer on spousal benefits; how did you get medical and dental benefits?
-Michelle
This was a bit of a challenge because I am self-employed. Obviously, my blog doesn't offer me a sweet benefits package, even though I am the sole employee. Ha.
So, I went on the healthcare.gov site for my state and bought an insurance plan through there. I don't qualify for any subsidies, so it's not exactly the cheapest health insurance ever, and it is also not the best health insurance ever; I chose a plan that is one of the more affordable ones.
But, it is enough coverage for me to not have to worry that a catastrophic health event will bankrupt me, which is the most important thing.
And once I graduate from nursing school and get a full-time job at the hospital, I will have access to employer-sponsored healthcare benefits. Woohoo!
For now, I would be very delighted if my healthcare needs ended up being very minimal until I graduate. Here's hoping for a run of good health for me.
(Just FYI: I know a lot of self-employed people do health-sharing plans. But my school requires me to have actual-factual health insurance for liability reasons when I go to clinical sites.)
I want so bad to return to school for nursing. It was a childhood dream.
Are you physically in school or online? Any feedback would be greatly appreciated!
-Theresa
My program is in-person, although there are occasional meetings on Zoom or Microsoft Teams.
I know nursing programs went online in 2020, but I really, really cannot imagine that an online-only nursing program is nearly as good as an in-person program.
There are so many practical skills that you learn by doing them hands-on, in the lab and in the simulations; doing them online would not prepare me nearly as well for real-world nursing.
Plus, clinical hours at the hospital are really important for learning how to do skills on patients and also for learning how to interact with patients and other staff.
I think when I get my bachelor's degree after this, most of those classes will be online, which is fine (I hear they are the sort of classes where you do a lot of paper writing and discussion boards).
But the classes you need to get your R.N. are the ones where you learn your practical skills.
So. Even if an online program exists at this time, I would never willingly choose that for myself!
I didn't notice a big change in cooking for my family until after my college kids went back to in person after covid. I remember making a batch of cookies and still having some left the next day- so weird! I try to just make smaller amounts of food, as my family was never big on leftovers. I'm also trying to plan on meals where freezing the extra for a future meal works (like grilling 5 lbs of chicken at once instead of just the 1 lb or so that we'll eat.) Pasta and rice- I still make too much.
And I don't have to worry about the vegetarian options as they are all moved out. I just have my picky eater to worry about now.
If it were just ne, I'd be eating ramen with broccoli at most neals; after years of being the main cook, I'm tired of choosing the dinners.
@mbmom11, After years of planning and cooking the majority of our meals, I too find it difficult to be motivated to choose what we're having for dinner.
I will not comment on the medical benefits, since the situation is so different from our country. Meal planning however is something I can relate to, as we too eat (and cook) regularly 😀
We are cooking and eating far less than before not only since one of our kids moved out, but also because the one still living at home has passed the empty-abyss stage of adolescence. If we are not careful, we will end up with food that goes to waste - we have to buy and prepare considerable smaller portions. Normally I loosely think of five meals, put a brief description in an Outlook invite and this helps me take ingredients from the fridge in time (no microwave). I try to avoid late changes to the plan as my husband feels most comfortable when workdays are predictable. Kid is happy to eat whatever I put on the table as long as he doesn't have to cook.
So: our "guardrails"
-five planned meals for the workweek, weekend more ad hoc
-mainly homemade meals, avoid processed foods and multi-processed ingredients (hence not a fan of vegetarian "steaks" etc)
-try to accomodate to different tastes by having two vegetable options
-(keep leftovers for kid who works shifts)
- my general rule is that if dinner isn't tasty on a given day, perhaps it will be tomorrow
I do 95% of the cooking and I like to experiment once in a while. Of all household chores I prefer cooking but sometimes it is tough to have daily inspiration.
Not coming, but I’m also in my 40s, and any to apply to nursing school, Theresa!
I’m planning to attend to a local community college. It’s the same school where I’m taking the pre-requisite classes like chemistry, biology, and anatomy & physiology.
If you want to do nursing school, contact a school close to you, and find out their application requirements. Then, just start chipping away at those!
I’m working as a home health aide through an agency (only requires a high school diploma), and as a peer tutor at my school to pay for these pre-req classes. I just tutored a woman older than me who is taking chemistry in preparation for nursing school!
Once I’m actually in the program, I plan to take out a loan plus my state has a special grant program for healthcare education, and work during the summers. My mom was a nursing professor, and I’ve watched so many of her students who try to work full-time while also being in school full-time with a family really struggle.
Fist bump from a fellow community college nursing student!
I just found on Pinterest, a lot of recipes called Small Batch, especially for sweets! Which is perfect for my husband and I. Sometimes I still cook for 4, and we have leftovers for lunch or the other portions go in the freezer. But be aware, only some foods are good to be frozen, not all. Last night we had leftover spaghetti sauce from the freezer. Took me 15 min to warm up the sauce and make spaghetti.
Some colleges offer medical insurance. Is that offered where you attend school? Also what do you do for eye & dental coverage?
@Michelle,
Yes, many universities require that students carry insurance and offer an affordable group plan.
I got eye and dental coverage through the same place as my health insurance!
I don't think my school offers health insurance, which is a bummer. Maybe that's more common at non-community colleges?
@Kristen, I go to my local community college dental hygiene clinic. They do a great job as a student. I am very pleased & they are affordable.
With four active children just starting to hit their teenage years (14, 12, almost-10, and almost-7), I am certainly not going to be reducing the amount of food I prepare for a few years yet. It's funny that I've never been a meal planner, given how controlling I am in all other aspects of my life. The only time I have ever planned out dinners for a week was when we were moving cross-country by driving--with four young children in the van--and we ate every meal out of the coolers we had with us. That is literally the only menu plan I've ever made. Otherwise, I just keep it all in my head.
I was surprised by your comment about "after I get my bachelor's." I never knew you didn't have one. What's required for nursing school? Just a high school degree or equivalent?
@kristin@going country, I'll let Kristen answer too, but I think what she means is that when she graduates this program, she will have an associates degree. At that point she can take the NCLEX (national licensing exam) and have her RN. Then, she can go on to take more classes and go from an ASN to a BSN. Many hospitals require you to commit to obtaining your BSN within a certain time frame if you get a job as an RN/ASN with them.
To enter a nursing program, all you need is a high school diploma.
Oh, yeah, I've been out here degree-less for all this time. lol I did a year of college after high school but then got married and had kids and never finished.
My nursing school requires a high school diploma, and then a whole pile of college prereqs. So, you have an associates at the end but it is a whole lot more classes than a typical associates.
When our children were at home, I faithfully planned meals and planned things that would work around all their extra-curricular activities schedules. We could not afford to grab something out every time we had a game or activity. Probably the most dedicated I was to meal planning, though, was when we had a young man living with us for a couple years and part of the agreed upon arrangement was dinner Monday-Thursday. (He went home on weekends.) Now that it’s just the two of us, the plan is very loose. I usually cook more than we’ll eat at one meal and freeze part for another meal. And we eat out a little more, which usually generates leftovers. Plus we do a lot of salads and other easy prep meals.
@Addy,
In Dutch restaurants, we see very little "doggy bags". What we increasingly see is people eating an entree as a main course, and sometimes also restaurants offering senior citizin sized portions. I think it makes a lot of sense not sending food back to the kitchen and from there to the trash can!
@JNL, I have been known to order off the kids menu. I also will split a meal with DH and he will have a starter.
@JNL, @Bee, I almost always have 1-2 appetizers as my main course.
@JNL, I'm assuming that "entree" in your country means, as it used to mean, an appetizer, correct? Here in the States that word now means "main course" but I remember reading somewhere that originally it was the French word for "appetizer" or a small dish eaten before the main!
I went from cooking for two to cooking for one after I placed DH in the nursing home 3 years ago, and, frankly, I'm still adjusting to this. (And DH was a hearty eater, so it was really more like cooking for three in the old days.) Probably most of us with downsized households, for whatever reason the downsizing may have occurred, are making similar adjustments. As far as meal planning's concerned, I tend to do it mainly when there's something in the fridge that I urgently need to use up!
I'm in the opposite phase; I fed myself and then married and had a child. It still feels weird to cook half a dozen eggs at a time.
I ebb and flow on meal planning, and I find it challenging to accommodate everyone's taste, even though there are only three of us. I generally like cooking and I like the idea of getting a balanced meal on the table. But it's hard.
@Meira@meirathebear, it does take a while to learn to cook for a family, Then it takes a while to unlearn this. Such is life - always changing.
@Meira@meirathebear, the groups I cooked for, it was always the case that there wasn't anything that all eaters really liked. My strategy is to avoid dishes that someone hated (even if 3 of 4 liked liver, if someone hated it I didn't make it), and make sure it wasn't always the same person who didn't love the meal (Alice one night, Bob the next, etc.) People could raid the fridge or make a sandwich; just as long as the roommates sat down together.
My meal outline is a protein, a veggie (sometimes cooked, sometimes raw), and a fruit. If the group included big eaters I made a starchy dish as well. Stir-fry or fritatta combine the protein and veggies.
I did a lot of the cooking when I lived at home with my parents and siblings. I learned to cook for five. We would plan weekly menus and shop once a week. We didn't often have leftovers unless it was a holiday. After I got married it was just my husband and I and we did not have kids. I had to learn to scale it down a bit and we didn't really plan menus. Things changed during the pandemic, and as groceries prices have risen so much the past few years. Now on Sundays we do a "Big Cook" so we have lots of leftovers for the week. We both work, and my husband's schedule as a freelancer can be unpredictable, so having stuff we can just heat up helps us avoid a lot of takeout. Also, we make a lot of things that stretch meats such as soups, stews, and pasta with meat and vegetable sauce that is heavy on the vegetables. When we do opt for takeout we try to order things that can be split for another meal so the per serving cost is cheaper. We always take home what we don't finish when we dine out, (unless it was terrible.) I'll never understand people who order a lot of food and then just leave most of it to be thrown out.
@AnnieH, me either about the restaurant food waste! If I was a waitress, I'd constantly be fighting the temptation to box up other people's leftovers and take them home. I've been with friends who over-order and then just walk away from most of it... it shocks me!
@AnnieH, it's true confessions time here: During my college days, I worked as a dishwasher in an upscale restaurant in an upscale city on the west coast of Florida. The folks who bussed the tables were constantly sending back untouched entrees, carefully balanced on top of the tubs of dishes on the conveyor belt. (I'm talking stuff like prime rib and chicken Maryland here.) I ate extremely well and extremely cheaply during that time of my life!
@A. Marie, I had a family member who worked at a famous restaurant in Savannah. They had a Sunday afternoon buffet. Everything that was left on Sunday was sent home with the staff.
@A. Marie, My husband and I splurged on a steak dinner for our 20th anniversary once. There was a like-minded couple sitting next to us who couldn't take their food back to their hotel as it lacked a fridge. They offered us the rest of their steaks and sides they could not finish. They were so happy to see them not go to waste. We ate well for the next two days!
@Bee, the owners of the restaurant where I worked weren't nearly that generous. (You should have seen the pig slop they served us for staff dinners.) That's why all of us--the wait staff, the bus staff, and the dishwashers--were laser-focused on purloining those untouched entrees. Fortunately, all this was over 50 years ago and the restaurant is long gone, so I think I can invoke the statute of limitations. 😀
@AnnieH, My husband and I often have this same thought! In fact, my husband recounts a story from his single days where he went on a date with a woman who refused to take home or even eat any leftovers. As soon as the woman confessed her aversion to leftovers, my husband knew there wouldn't be a second date-lol.
Haha, yes, this reminds me of Amy Dacyzyn's article about dating as a frugal person!
It's now just my husband and me, plus we have an active social life, so I cook an average of just two to three times a week, to cover 4-5 meals eaten at home or as picnic meals at the nearby beach or harbor - I try very hard to continue to celebrate the beautiful outdoor space where we live by eating outdoors at least once a week.
I still meal plan and I still peruse the supermarket circulars, but I'm careful about quantity, and will very often halve a recipe, plus the freezer is very much my friend for batch freezing leftovers like lasagna, tamales, chili, and some casseroles, depending.
I also freeze my proteins in single serving quantities, so I'm easily able to pull out just one chicken breast half, or three strips of bacon, or two servings of salmon, etc. A bit of a pain doing the initial separation and freezing, but so efficient to deal with from there.
We don't tend to vary much with our breakfasts and lunches, so those are easy to deal with and keep stocked.
When my children were growing up, I always cooked a big dinner. We ate every night at 7:00 pm. DH and the children all had rather large appetites. For example, if we had spaghetti bolognese, I made 2 lbs of pasta with 2 quarts of sauce and 2 lbs of meat. We would have two loaves of garlic bread and a Caesar salad. Sometimes we had leftovers and sometimes didn’t. It often depended if there were extra kids at the dinner table.
Although my children started to go away to college one by one, it took me years to learn to cook smaller amounts. To compensate, I would freeze leftovers or we would have leftover nights more frequently.
Now, after 35+ years of being head cook and bottle washer, I just don’t want to spend time in the kitchen anymore. Also, my sense of taste never returned after having covid so I don’t enjoy food like I once did.
Everyday meals are simple and much smaller. If DH is home, I usually have a loose meal plan based on what’s on sale and what’s in the freezer. When he is away on a project, I don’t really think about food much at all.
I still cook like I used to on special occasions. However, when the whole family is home for the holidays, I wonder how I cooked this way nearly everyday for years and years.
Your comment about Miss Zoe not having an entitled attitude about what you cook made me really appreciate my DH. While I do most of the grocery shopping, planning, and cooking, he has never had a negative attitude about our meals. I guess I never really thought about other husbands might approach that differently. I think he just appreciates what I do since I work a full-time job, just like him.
Our meal planning changed when we became empty nesters. We used to take leftovers for lunch, and I'd cook a fresh meal every night. Now whatever I cook is usually eaten for dinner 2 to 3 nights. And I do push the "easy" button more often now that it's just the two of us and we'll have less complicated meals, like eggs, toast and fruit.
A good meal planning blog is
Money Saving Mom
She also discusses reverse meal planning and keeps things fairly simple and healthy.
I am now only cooking for 1 or 2 so I mostly wing it like Kristen while focusing on reducing food waste.
I'm in that weird spot, where my kids are grown but 3 still live at home. So there might be 5 people for dinner or just 2. Monday was like that, I took out chicken, planning to cook for 5. Slowly but surely, the kids text me stating they weren't going to be home for whatever reason and it ended up being just me and my husband. So I just cooked all of it and then packed the leftovers up in 4 individual containers and brought to work for my lunches the rest of the week.
I have lots of 1-2 people-portioned leftover meals in my freezer for nights when I know it's just going to be he & I.
I do have a hard rule that Friday night is fend for yourself because my husband & I either go out or we pick something up just for us. And Saturday night is typically a fend for yourself night because I never know what we'll do, it depends on my plans for the day. So I really only 'cook' Sun-Thurs.
Taking a break from hurricane preparation before I leave. My county is under mandatory evacuation. Luckily I have a place to go.
I have Medicare because once you are eligible it’s best to get on it then. Delaying the sign up can mean a permanent financial penalty. Medicare is far from great and I have to have a supplemental plan that is paid out of my pocket. Plus I pay Medicare premiums as well. What I need next is to find a vision and dental plan. I will lose the one I have when I retire. A friend of mine went on the ACA plan for a while and hated it so I’m glad you will be able to get off it soon Kristen.
I went from cooking for four, which isn’t hard, to now cooking for one. I think I said before that I still basically cook for four because I pack lunches and enjoy leftovers. My main cooking is on the weekend and I meal plan so I won’t find I’m out of one crucial ingredient when I start to cook. I carry a list of what I already have when I shop. That’s where keeping my freezer contents listed on a chalkboard really helps. I just jot it down or snap a photo. I only note the pantry items I need, though as writing the contents down would take too long. My eventual goal is to keep a running list of what I have on the shelf, as I do for the freezer.
I save money and waste less food by meal planning. I hate doing it, but I find it’s worth it to me.
@JD, thank you for the warning about a financial penalty if Medicare sign-up is delayed. I have 3 weeks until I turn 65 and was toying with the idea of just not bothering. (Yeah, bad attitude). We have a supplemental through my retired husband's work, and have never had dental or vision. When people say, "What do you do about dental or vision?", my response is, "Write a check".
@JD, Please be safe and I'm glad you're taking this one seriously ~ from a fellow Floridian.
@JD,
Thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers.
@JD, I wish you and your family good luck.
@JD, My thoughts are with you at this time.
@JD, delayed only if you don't have insurance because you're still employed. I know Medicare Advantage plans vastly vary by state. My better's half's has no premium. We pay $32/month for an indemnity that covers the larger co-pays. The plan has some dental and vision. Which in our area, doesn't seem overly restrictive but other area, YMMV.
My "beef" with them is despite a service being covered by Medicare, some services require a pre-auth.
Whatever the size of my household, I've never been more than semi-organized in my meal planning.
1) My basic method is to list things I'd like to cook in the next week, then decide each day which I'll make.
2) The list is generated one of two ways:
A. Based on looks good or is cheap at the store, or
B. Recipes I want to try.
3) I shop based on which of the above is in play: either shop first then think of foods, or shop based on the recipe.
When I had fewer financial resources it was almost always shop first, unless the recipes was based on things I knew would be inexpensive. (Chicken leg quarters were a reliable options, for example.)
I also cook a lot of large dishes and freeze some for later. It's wonderful to be able to grab a container of frozen something on the way to work.
I'm guessing that even the "online" nursing programs have in person labs and clinical. Maybe it's just the lectures that are via computer? I truly don't think you could graduate and become a nurse without doing *anything* in person!!
If I don't meal plan, I usually regret it. It's hard to wing meals for 6 people. Before I grocery shop, I try to make a list of 4-5 meals that I plan to make that week, and get any ingredients that I don't already have. But I don't assign a certain meal to each day; that part is left to what we have going on that day, the weather, how much time I have to cook, etc. And I try to keep a few easy things on hand like frozen pizza or nuggets, box macaroni, eggs, or ensure that we have enough leftovers to feed everyone.
@JP, Yes, my program has a lot of online courses (for things like Psychology, Intro to Healthcare Delivery, etc), but Biology and Chemistry are in-person. DS#2 is in the same program and he is taking Bio II right now and goes in twice a week for lectures and labs. Our clinical training will be in person as well. I'm hoping to do as much as I can online, though.
Well, during the first year of Covid, people DID somehow do nursing school pretty much all online. But it can't have been ideal!
@Kristen, there were many things that were less than ideal during the height of covid... But wow, those students were at a serious disadvantage to not be allowed in hospitals or labs during their training!
This is my first week of adjusted meal planning & cooking! We just moved DS18 to college last week. I'm struggling, as DS18 was my consistent meal buddy. He & I basically eat everything. DH has to largely eat a Keto diet (due to a food allergy) & DS17 is just a pickier eater. He will eat plenty of fruit & veggies, lots of carbs, but is picky about protein & doesn't like almost anything where ingredients are mixed. So, I used to plan meals that DS18 & I could eat, and then customize as needed for the other two. Now that feels silly.
I've put this off for the week by pulling things out of the freezer, but I'm already out of creative ideas & it's week one. 😉 I'm going to need to get way better at this. Further complicating the situation is that DS17 plays a lot of sports & makes random last minute plans (as Kristen says, a common teenage phenomenon), so I never know who exactly will be home for dinner on any given night. Practice is at 6 pm tonight, but tomorrow it's at 6:30. Eating before typically doesn't work for DH's schedule, and after...well, I'd be ravenous & just make popcorn.
My husband travels frequently for work and I do find it odd to switch between cooking for 2 kids + 2 adults and 2 kids + 1 adult.
I often stash leftover soups or chilis in the freezer for "one-off" meals when he's away since we seem to always have about 3 people worth of servings left. I also try to make meals they might like that he isn't as fond of. We definitely eat much simpler meals with fewer sides. Some nights it might be waffles and fruit or a grilled cheese sandwich with veggies and hummus.
I don't necessarily prefer either cooking situation, but it's markedly different and we flip-flop regularly because of his travel schedule.
I smirked a little when I read “does not have an entitled attitude about what I cook or how fancy I make meals” because my ex DID have an entitled attitude about the meals I prepared. I’m sure you didn’t mean this as a poke at your ex, given your nature, but it sure made me smile in a naughty way.
I do meal plan even through there is only three of us and I could easily throw things together and my husband and son are not picky eaters at all. I mainly meal plan for my own sanity. Our schedule is a little chaotic with me working out of the house a few days a week (the commute!), my son’s afterschool activities, and my husband’s work life. I’m also still trying to figure out my son’s appetite. 13 is tough because some days he is not hungry at all, other days I can’t keep enough food in the house.
Don't give me more credit than I deserve. 😉
I can get very unmotivated by meal planning despite living alone. I think it's because I get bored of the same options and am also tired after being at work all day. I usually make a large-ish meal one night a week and eat leftovers the next evening.
In our household, it's my husband, my adult daughter who lives with us, and myself. I still meal plan because I don't really want the mental fatigue of figuring out dinner every night. But I do it somewhat loosely such as pasta may be on the rotation one night, but if I don't feel like doing pasta maybe I'll do a frittata instead. I do plan a month at a time but I use basically the same meal rotations like pizza Friday, taco( Mexican) Tuesday. It works for me but I'm also into routines and such. I still do Flylady every week even though our house doesn't take a lot to keep tidy.My daughter is a research librarian, author and gardener. She does all the outside work but doesnt really like to cook so it's a fair trade.
When I was first married, I'd make a pan of something like lasagne, thinking it would last all week. My husband would look at the pan and announce that it was lunch for him "tomorrow, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday". Well phooey. I had to learn to make enough food each night for his lunch the following day, and to fix something new every night.
Now that he is retired, he is the dinner cook, with 3 things that he BBQs, rotating through them twice a week along with making a salad each night. When I cook, it is just a variation of "slop in a skillet", combining meat and veggies and sometimes pasta.
When we both worked full-time away from home, it was a real slog to figure out dinners. I could only think of 4 possibilities each week, so started keeping a list of dinner ideas on the fridge.
It was and is a real blessing to have a husband who is not demanding, other than wanting enough food leftover for lunch (and liking everything except lima beans, cauliflower, and sweet potatoes!) And I will NEVER complain about his limited menu, NEVER EVER EVER.
@Central Calif. Artist Jana, I'm chuckling over "slop in a skillet." I make a good many of those meals, mostly when I'm trying to deal with leftovers.
@Central Calif. Artist Jana, My DH had to gently remind me many times, especially as the boys got older, to "not count on leftovers" for a dinner! We do, sometimes, have leftovers, but they can't be relied on for a full dinner. Mostly because we often/always eat leftovers at lunch, and everyone is usually home for lunch.
Monday, for example, I roasted 14 drumsticks and 10 wings, made crockpot potatoes, roasted cauliflower and also a big thing of frozen mixed veggies. The next night we had a big pot of lentil soup, and I put out as many leftover things as I could find...three sad little drumsticks and extra pizza stuff for homemade pizzas, but I also made four boxes of mac and cheese to be on the safe side (also Selective Eater does not care for soup). All the mac and cheese got eaten, nearly everyone had soup, the chicken got eaten up and nearly everyone also made pizzas. Whew! DH gave me a nice compliment about "getting us through dinner in style." Ha!
Kristen, I just had to add how happy I am that you are free of dinner (and other ) expectations (that, perhaps, were not positive things for you)
I’m celebrating your new life with you!
I am not a natural in the kitchen. I married later in life ( 37 ) and went through a steep learning curve of getting meals on the table. I still don't consider myself a cook - rather I "compile." Luckily my husband was always grateful anything was on the table when he came home from a long day of farming. ( He was a bachelor until 38.) We raised my son with the "9 times" rule. You have to try something 9x before you say you don't like it. I also made sure that on each dinner plate there was something I knew he liked. We had lots of fresh fruit and roasted veggies. He is a very healthy eater and so far doesn't struggle with his weight like his father and I.
Since my son has been at college, I must say the frig is mostly empty except for the basics - milk, eggs, homemade yogurt, cottage cheese, Fairlife chocolate protein milks, fresh fruit. I will make dinner once or twice a week and we live off the leftovers or portions I have frozen. Hubby and I are both watching our weight and deemphasize eating. Hubby says "why put weight on a sinking ship."
When my son is about to visit hubby says, "Better go to the store."
The instapot, the airfryer and the Vitamix are indispensable. They get me in an out and out of the kitchen for pennies and in seconds.
My husband will eat anything, never complains about leftovers, and is happy for me to cook soup on Monday and eat it until Friday. He has preferences, of course, like he does not really care for salmon but will eat tuna in any form including tuna bisque, so I try to have only one fish meal a week. The summer after I finished grad school and was waiting for my first professional job as a university prof, I worked as a cook in a gold mining camp in the Alaska Range. They flew me out to a camp with 25 men and me, I lived in a tent, no running water, and I had to feed guys who worked like pack mules all day so they had enormous appetites---like one guy could eat 4 to 6 eggs, plus a huge pile of potatoes, plus a mound of sausage or bacon, plus slabs of toast. After that, it took me several years to relearn how to cook like a normal person. Then we got teen foster boys for 15 years, many of whom came with food issues from living with food insecurity for much of their lives. Then we lived in the bush, where food was extraordinarily expensive and fresh foods were not always available, so we learned to do subsistence activities like hunting and fishing and berry picking. All of which is to say, I feel like it has only been the last decade where it was just two of us, near a city area with several choices for food purchases, so cooking was much more normal. And it turns out we don't like to spend a lot of time cooking so both of us are happy to eat the same thing many days in a row. I figure I plan three different meals a week and we make them last for seven days. SOOOO much less cleaning up that way. I do love to make the traditional Thanksgiving feast, though, and my favorite Russian and Lithuanian foods for Christmas and New Years. But other than that, if it is on sale or we trade garden food for fish or moose, that is what we eat.
@Lindsey, have you done a meet the reader interview? I think it would be very interesting to read!!
@JP, I agree! Lindsey has the most varied and unusual stories to tell.
@JP, Yes, I look forward to Lindsey's stories almost as much as I look forward to Kristen’s posts.
@JP, Thirded!
There is a world of difference between being expected to make a fancy dinner each night and doing it because you want to. Your own choice makes it feel totally different.
When we married my DH said he didn’t care if I wanted to make pizza and burgers or the like, not to stress about dinner making. I loved to try out new recipes, have tons of cookbooks, and made fancy-ish dinners, I guess.
Had he told me I have to, I would have HATED it. I’m so glad you got out of that situation. The mind boggles at what else you endured.
100% agree on the choice part of things. It is the expectation, entitlement, or guilting behavior from another person that makes almost any task feel onerous (even if it's a task you might otherwise like!)
Over the last 10 years or so, I've had to adjust to a smaller household then back to a larger household.
I went through a divorce about 12 years ago, so had to adjust to a smaller household. It was me and my two kids (elementary school/middle school age) for 5 days a week. My kiddos were really small eaters, so I definitely made a lot less food during that stage of life. I lived on eggs when the kids weren't home (2-3 X week) I think I grocery shopped every other week and absolutely planned more loosely.
I remarried about 7 years ago and boy did that change things up. I had to shop for groceries every week and plan for not only dinners but lunches too! It required a lot more prep work and daily cooking-especially since we had one family member who is vegan and one who is GF.
Now that the kiddos are in college and working, I'm starting to see another change. While I still have the same # of people to provide meals, we rarely eat together. I still grocery shop/cook the same amount of food. However instead of individuals dinners, I do more batch cooking. For example, I make large portions of starch/veggies/salad/protein. The kids just dish out what they want/when they are home. We also have a lot more leftovers since the college students sometimes just opt to do something else with no warning (as Kristen has already pointed out). We still manage to eat most of the leftovers :).
Yes to your last paragraph! Feeding young adults requires a flexible attitude. 🙂
I’m in a stage of life where I feel like I’m cooking for an army. 3/4 of my kids eat as much as adults. Most of my recipes come from a blogger who’s a mom of 7.
Not self-employed but we have tried a cost-sharing health plan in the past. My opinion is it’s good if all you need it for is a yearly physical. One year in and my son needed surgery. They denied covering it because their policy was no surgeries for 2 years. Another not so great experience was they took forever to pay out claims. The longest was 9 months. Overall it’s pretty close to being uninsured.
I've noticed some comments talking about their husband's thoughts on their cooking. Do they ever prepare the meals? Obviously I can understand schedules impacting this but I don't think it should necessarily be the woman's job! On a side note, it kind of bugs me on cooking blogs when it says something like 'even my picky husband loved this!' If your husband doesn't like it, why can't he cook his own meal? End rant!
@Sophie in Denmark,
Sometimes I marvel at myself at how I immediately settled into the traditional role of a homemaker after having been single until late 30s. The truth is, I was thrilled when hubby helped me with so many of the masculine "traditional" jobs that never really interested me. We joke that he is in charge of motorized vehicles and conflict and I am in charge of education and social customs.
Hubby happily finds himself dinner if I don't make something but I know from lots of marriage counseling that food on the table is a love language for him. It is something simple I can do to make his home a soft place to land. He works on providing things that make me feel secure and loved. Many of them are not easy for him - like communication but he has come SOOOOOOOO far. i appreciate the effort. Also, I am really good at education and social customs so that is awesome.
So Yeah - wish I was a rebel but as Popeye says - "I yam what I yam."
@Sophie in Denmark, I am often in a wheelchair or quite ill from medications. My husband, who has never so much as breathed a word about how he was saddled with a woman who became very chronically ill after marriage, handles most of the chores. Cooking is one thing I can still do, since the kitchen is arranged for ease of my movements and things within reach. I am so happy that I can still contribute to the running of the household that if my husband wanted a five star meal every night I would work to provide it. (Ditto for gardening. It is set up for my wheelchair and I am happy to be able to contribute that way.) But even before my birth defect evidenced itself when I was in my early 30s, my husband did a lot of the housework. He is far neater than I was and said that since he was picky, it was up to him to do the chores that kept the house the way he wanted. But I have to say that after 41 years together, he has gotten less picky and I have gotten neater. Also, when I had my last long hospitalization and recovery, during which he had to do things like help me up out of bed and shower with me so he could hold me up (and did this for months) until I regained my strength, I finally insisted we hire someone to come in once a week for 2 hours to do bathrooms and mop. I was afraid he would drop dead from the stress. The doctor suggested a stay in a nursing home but my husband said it would be over his dead body, so we made it work. All of which is to say, sometimes divisions of labor look stereotypical but there is a reason for them.
@mary ann, I LOVE that line about him in charge of motorized vehicles and conflict and you in charge of education and social customs!
@mary ann, it's great that it both makes you happy and it's a choice! I don't think there's anything wrong with women enjoying work which is stereotypically feminine, such as cooking or homemaking in general. I just get frustrated when it's assumed that women will naturally do all of that work and men will never pitch in. Men can be great at that too!
@Lindsey, your husband sounds like an amazing guy. As I just replied above, I don't think there's any problem with women enjoying cooking and wanting to take on that side of things - my issue is when society in general assume that when a couple gets married, or even just moves in together, the woman will automatically do the domestic side of things and guys should never be expected to help or cook a meal once in a while, or that women can never fix things. I'm not saying this about your marriage at all!
I rely on meal planning for budget/ease and healthy eating. If I didn't plan ahead, we wouldn't utilize the garden, freezers or the freezer meal prep.
I take a mental note of what is ready to pick in the garden, what I need to use up in the meal prep area of the freezer and plan my week's meals (snacks and desserts). We host one family meal per week (cousins, friends/framily). I work on the weekends, so the family meal is assigned and my prep work is done before my commute (90 min + 12 hr shifts). This week we harvested the shallots, onions, pumpkins/winter squashes and late apples. So we will have pumpkin cake and apple pie, chili cooked over the fire pit, cornbread, coleslaw and homemade beer sausages. We will harvest the rest of the summer cabbage and get out my great Grandfather's cabbage shredder and 20 gallon crock and make sauerkraut.
We will pick the grapes and the younger generation will learn how to steam extract and can/presserve juice concentrate for their kiddos. It is so much fun!
I have the space to grow more than what I can possibly eat, so I offer it up to family to help plant/greenhouse work, keep it weeded, fertilized and winter clean up and then they get to pick and use to feed their family healthy organic good food. I also offer up field space for co-ownership of steers/lambs and chickens/ducks. We also co-op honey, dried beans, flour, cane sugar and other grains.
For nursing school, I already had my master's in micro biology, so I went straight to the accelerated bsn program. I am a trauma icu/rapid response team/emergency room floater. I try to work only 2 days per week. I would love to step down to 1 day per week, but there is a nursing shortage in my area of experience.
An insurance provider that falls under state laws meaning required to have claim reserves on hand.
I've doubt a health-sharing group could cover many, if any, true catastrophic medical expense.
Wait...so you are getting a RN without a Bachelor's degree? I didn't know that existed, but that's great if so. I'm sure that opens the door for so many to be able to get their foot in the door of nursing.
I went from feeding 2 teenage/young adult boys to just DH and I. On top of that, we tend to eat less than ever before (portion size) for health reasons/ageing/metabolism/etc. It has taken years to adapt. That first year, I froze sooo many leftovers.
Mainly, I portion food into serving sizes either when I buy it or when I cook it if a large piece of meat. If I buy chicken breasts...I freeze them in 2 breast portions for us so I can just pull one meal out to cook. Like you, if I smoke a brisket or pork butt...I then freeze in meal size portions. That's been our biggest change that has helped.
I still can't figure out pasta. I will always cook twice as much pasta as anyone needs. I only bake sweet treats (cakes/cookies) when I know the kids are coming for dinner because we don't need them in the house.
Yes, this is an associate's degree. But what with all the pre-reqs required for the nursing program, it's not a big leap to go from this to a bachelor's. It shouldn't take me long!
Better half has always done all the cooking and grocery shopping. Is a good cook - been a few new recipes tried over the years. Always edible but some did not make the "cook it again" cut.
When the kids were growing up, he fed them at 5 pm (ridiculous for them to wait). Then he and I ate later. Always the same thing but there were times when the kids consumption consumed more than their half so I'd just fill in/find something else.
For a while post kiddos out of the house, large quantity meals would be shared with my folks and a couple of relatives. Now just down to my surviving parent as one relative in nursing home, and the other two have left this side of dirt.
Kristen - why not grill all or at least an extra one or two burgers? Better half will grill three of four. The extra one or two go into the freezer for a quick meal at another time.
As I've mentioned before, better half is a five star general when it comes to freezer (and frig for that matter) management.
I got gastric sleeve surgery a year ago and I still struggle with ajusting my cooking for our family of 4. I now eat way less and I have a daughter who also eats little of what I cook (she eats other food), so I am basically cooking for 5 (I used to eat for 2....) and now feeding the equivalent of 2.5 people, the math doesn't add up! Same for groceries shopping, I always buy too much. I really need to stop doing that, we all get overwhelmed by the quantity of food we have at home (I know, 1st world problem!)
My son lived at home for about 9 months between college and getting his first job. I found that to be a huge adjustment in terms of going back to having to plan for someone else being there!
On the flip side, he started showing an interest in cooking for the first time during this period and we had a LOT of fun trying things together. We were even both able to laugh after the shock of putting something in frying oil that still had some ice on it and it exploded upon entry!
My household is in flux right now. My son is 15 and eats enough for two people. I had weightloss surgery and eat a lot less and less of certain foods. I am dating someone who is over often and also eats quite a bit. I love making meals and they are not picky. Time is hard to find though so I try to make them simple meals lately. I do feel challenged by grocery costs. My boyfriend sometimes buys when we go grocery shopping together which I appreciate.