On Happiness and Contentment
Man is fond of counting his troubles, but he does not count his joys. If he counted them up as he ought to, he would see that every lot has enough happiness provided for it.
~Fyodor Dostoevsky~
We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.
~Frederick Keonig~
The world is full of people looking for spectacular happiness while they snub contentment.
~Doug Larson~
Psst! If you're new around here, perhaps my own thoughts about contentment would be interesting to you.
(Not that I can compete with the likes of Doestevsky. )
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Today's 365 post: The Pink Panther has timeless appeal
Joshua's 365 post: Pumpkins
It's funny, I was going to search for your contentment series yesterday (but ran out of time)...I was having one of "those days" and felt I needed a reminder. Imagine my surprise when I checked your blog this morning. It's funny how things come to us sometimes just when we need it.
Wow, I really needed this today! We have been frugal for a while in order to go on our first family holiday and then my car died at the beginning of the week.. 🙁 No holiday for us, but I'm trying to be content for what we have..health and love and each other ♥ 🙂
Loved the post. The pictures are wonderful. Happiness is wanting what you have not having what you want. You show us that many times over. You are definitely and inspiration and blessing to me and many others!!
I love that picture of Lisey with the bubbles!
Okay. In light of my posts/feelings yesterday I'm going to try this. I feel grateful that...
1. I have a wonderful husband who loves me.
2. I have a fun job that I love--and great co-workers to work with.
3. I rarely need to stay late, and never have to travel for my job--plus, I have a lot of flexibility.
4. We live on an awesome cul-de-sac where the entire street is like one big family. I can count on others to help me out when I need it, and do the same for them. Plus, we have lots of fun sharing meals, chit-chating over a glass of wine, etc.
5. My son is an awesome kid with a good heart--who's doing great in his first year of middle school. He gets excellent grades because he's self-motivated--and I love how he tries so hard when he "doesn't get it"...will ask for extra help, and then feels so proud when he succeeds. He also has teachers who appreciate that and take pleasure in helping him.
6. Knock wood, both my husband's and my parents are alive and well--and very active in our lives.
7. We're very close to my husband and his family. I'm an aunt to an adorable neice, and my brother is an awesome uncle to my son.
8. I have several very good friends, and a great bunch of cousins.
9. Both my husband and I have good jobs in this tough economy--and we're able to easily afford what we need.
Karen S.,
I'm curious if you've considered writing your own blog? The start up cost is nothing if you use Blogger or WordPress, and you'd have a place for lists just like this...as well as a place for the harder moments, like you were having yesterday. You seem to have *enough* time (what is "enough", really? i don't know. it seems you have the time to comment.) and you are a coherent writer. Might be a great way to air your opinion! 🙂 Have you ever considered it?
LOVE these quotes...they are definitely finding their way into my gratitude journal today!! :)!
Love this! I recently looked up my childhood pastor, who is still in the ministry. He has a blog, and one entry talked about "Start every day grateful." It's amazing how starting the day with that attitude can change the whole landscape of the day.
Hi Kristen,
I read some of your comments on Facebook this morning, and I wanted to clarify that I'm not asking you to be negative"”or to drag your family through the mud. Your bright attitude and ever-present cheerfulness is awesome. It was just the back-to-back posts of all of the awesome free time and fun your family has in a week that my son is feeling stressed with exams"”and the fact that you trucked out the fact that your kids have more free time since you home school"”that just irked me. Maybe I should have just kept that to myself???? Hmmmm.... But some of your other commenters who felt the same way as me, and shared some of their wisdom with me, made me feel good that I did put my thoughts/feelings out there.
I think, Kristen that you need to remember that although comments like mine yesterday may seem like they're about you, they're not. They're my feelings"”and a reflection of my thoughts. Michelle and I can't remember the other person who added great thoughts, made me feel good. They "got it" that your post on that particular day made me feel bad about my life"”and I appreciate the fact that they shared their perspective. I could have kept my thoughts to myself, but then I wouldn't have gotten that lovely feedback.
Now, my bluebird post, on the other hand was just my crankyness 😉 So I apologize for that.
In my particular situation/mood this week, if your park post was followed by a baking post (for example), I wouldn't have reacted. It was the back-to-back look at the time afforded in our lives posts that got to me in a stressful week.
So, what I'm trying to say is that it's not a matter of cheeful/not cheerful. It's the subject matter on two consecutive days that played into how I was feeling. Thank you, posters, who shared your wisdom and made me feel better. And Kristen, please know that what I wrote is NOT ABOUT YOU!!!!
🙂
Karen
I accept your apology, and I'm glad that you're having a better, more positive day today.
Now I'm going to offer up some exceedingly rare brutal honesty.
I regularly feel as though you expect me to write my blog in a way that uniquely serves you (for instance, you were upset that I wrote about Aldi so much because you didn't have an Aldi at the time, and you felt hurt that I didn't blog about Hannukah, because you celebrate Hannukah instead of Christmas).
Of course, each individual reader of my blog is important, but there are thousands of individual readers, and I cannot possibly tailor my blog to be a perfect fit for everyone (even if I wanted to, I can't know what's going on in each of my readers' lives every day.)
When I write my blog, I strive to make it serve most of my readers most of the time, and that's really the best that I can do.
You've said that you enjoy my blog most of the time, and I'm glad for that. I guess I'd just ask that when an occasion comes along where you don't enjoy my blog, maybe before you type a comment about that, just think about it first, remember that I've got a large audience, and that a post that didn't help you might help someone else.
And I think that's enough brutal honesty for now.
All I can say is, you're right. I will do better.
But I will say that I enjoyed the part where I got to share how I feel and got some nice feedback in response. It helped me. So, your blog helped me. Please, please, please don't take it so personally. It has nothing to do with you, or the need to change your blog. Plus, my post brought out a few others who felt like me. You're a real person communicating with real people and we all have different thoughts and opinions. We're all human 🙂
Hi Karen, I think Kristen's graceful responses to your posts yesterday were amazing, and totally in keeping with who she is. I could not have been as graceful and love her all the more for it.
Simply put: You are an adult and your problems are NOT Kristen's fault.
Your apology, as sincere as it may be, still seems to blame her (and her selection of posts) for your feelings and your behavior.
This is Kristen's blog and while she may use a clothesline, it's for her laundry, not yours.
Gotta say, I'm feeling the same way about the apology. However, it is between you and Kristen. I think she is more gracious than I would have been.
What I've learned about blogs(ging)(gers), etc. is this...
No matter WHO they cater to or try to please, there's always going to be the "Grumpy Guses". I was reading a blog where the woman was being brutally honest about burn recovery and being pregnant through the process. She had a similar post to your's, Kristen, where she felt the need to explain herself! She put it bluntly...if you don't want to hear the complaining then, stop reading. It's just the opposite here...if folks don't like the happiness (seriously?!!), no one is forcing them to read!
I'm in agreement with these ladies defending you. This is YOUR blog you don't need to cater to us in any way, shape or form. If you DO choose to do so, that is awfully sweet of you and we THANK YOU for that!
I've grown up with "Negative Nellies" all my life...it doesn't matter what you do or say, they will very rarely see the "bright side". It's a losing (and exhausting battle) trying to cater to them!
Imperfections included, you lead a blessed life because you are able to see it that way.
It's all about perspective, folks! If that offended you...get some! 😉
Gorgeous. It must be in the air. I just wrote about '22 things I've done' and it turned into a reminder of how good life is 🙂
In seeing the picture of Lisey's earrings... Are there thoughts about having Sonia and/or Zoe get earrings? 🙂 What do they think about it? (And what do you think of it too?)
kristen. thank you.
i was in a car wreck yesterday, totaling my car. BUT everyone walked away uninjured, and now we will have the opportunity to buy a car that makes more sense for our family and runs well. i think, because of influences like your blog and other uber-positive people in my life, this incident/accident has not crumpled my spirit. i'm grateful for your reminders to find the goodness in the life i already have -- totaled car and all.
blessings, blessings, blessings be heaped upon you. -vanessa
Praise Jesus you are all safe and sound. Those kinds of things put life into perspective, don't they?
Great post. I always try to remember that I have enough and I am enough, as is. We work to be grateful everyday. Sometimes we miss the mark, but as a whole working on gratitude, makes life so much better.
Thanks for you and your blog.
Pish-posh! You do wonderfully!
Love this post!
Nice pictures! 🙂
Hi Kristen,
Most of the time I'm a silent lurker :), but I couldn't help but add my two cents here. I absolutely adore reading your blog. I'm 25 year old graduate student and have no plans of having children anytime soon, nor do I plan on being a stay at home mother when I do have a family. However I love reading about your family and the cheerful manner you write with. I hate to read blogs where readers feel so insecure/unhappy/stressed that they need to make someone else feel poorly to exert some of their own negativity or bad feelings. I really hope you feel better and will continue to take some of the good comments and can leave the negative comments 🙂
Your faithful readers understand that you're not perfect, but we appreciate you taking the time to share your life with us and show what we can do on any given day, if we feel so inclined.
i so agree! i'm single and live in a little apt in an urban area with no children, but I read Kristens blog everyday for a dose of cheer. Our lives couldnt be more different on the surface, but i strive to be as content and thankful for my blessings as the FrugalGirl!
Kristen - dont change a thing!
Kristen, please keep blogging. I heard today on the radio that negative interactions affect us far more deeply than positive ones, which is terrible, so I'm excited to see all the support for you, and I hope you take encouragement from it. This is your blog, your space. You do a wonderful, compassionate job of writing in a way that shows Jesus in your life. Please continue. Anyone who doesn't like your gentle celebration of blessings can read something else!
I love your blog and how positive you are and when you share your struggle, I like the balance. I say this to encourage you. Regarding thankfulness, I think you would really enjoy the book "1,000 Gifts" by Ann Voskamp. She sets out to record 1,000 everyday blessings and reflects on what she learns along the way. It is very powerful. P.S. I personally look forward to living near an Aldi someday thanks to you!