On frugality and teenagers
In last week's survey, quite a few of you said you wondered how it's possible to stay frugal when you've got teens in the house. I'm not super far into the teen years (only two of mine are teens so far, and the oldest is only 16), but I'm glad to share my thoughts on this topic so far.
(Incidentally, two frugal bloggers who have more teen experience than me come to mind: Katy from The NonConsumer Advocate, and Jen from Beauty and Bedlam.)
We pay for needs, they pay for wants.
There are some exceptions to this, and we define "need" fairly generously, but the basic idea is that if they want something a little frivolous or unnecessary, they need to pay for that themselves.
This policy really is fundamental to the way we handle money with our kids, and it's the way things go at our house from an early age.
We don't do this because we're trying to pad our bank account, but rather because we want to prepare our kids for wise money handling in the future. If they get used to Mom and Dad buying them anything they want, they'll be in for a rude awakening when they hit the real world. It's better to be 6 than 26 when you learn that you can't always get what you want!
Plus, having to pay for some things motivates kids to do paid work and helps them to treasure their possessions more (which is important because you tend to take good care of a valued possession.)
Teenagers = Higher Grocery Bill
My two teens are super slim, but boy, they do both eat a lot more food than they used to! They eat more at meals and they're hungry pretty quickly after meals too.
This past year, I've averaged about $200/week for groceries, whereas when my kids were younger, I used to be more around $150.
I think this increase is somewhat unavoidable, but one thing that helps is to give up on the idea that every item which goes into a teen's mouth needs to be packed with nutrition.
I don't buy a lot of junk food and I try to provide nutritious items for meals (green smoothies, whole grains, vegetables, fruit, meats, etc.), but I really do not stress about it if, say, Joshua eats three banana muffins and a bowl of cereal at 8:00 PM.
I'm not saying nutrition is irrelevant, but if I tried to keep my teens fed on only vegetables and lean proteins, my grocery bill would be through the roof, and they'd probably be unhealthfully slim.
There will be other times in life where they will need to watch their carbs and such, but now is not that time. 😉
Clothing
Luckily for me, neither of my teens are particularly obsessed with fashion, and they've both been happy with somewhat minimalist wardrobes.
We buy all of their basic clothing, and if they want something out of the ordinary, they spend their own money on it.
(For instance, Lisey bought a Totoro dress with her own money, as she already had plenty of dresses, and this was just a fun item she wanted to have.)
I buy almost all of Joshua's clothing new, although we look for sales and clearances. He's so tall and slim, buying secondhand would be nigh onto impossible.
Lisey's clothing is a mixture of new and second-hand clothing (mostly from Schoola). As with Joshua, I keep an eye on sales and clearance racks to help keep her clothing costs down.
Smartphones
Lisey has Mr. FG's hand-me-down iPhone 4s, and Joshua has the Android phone that Ting gave me to try out a few years back. Thus far, their phones do not have service, so they're limited to using them when wi-fi is available.
Soon, Joshua will be driving, though, and a job will be coming shortly after that, and we plan to get him signed up with Ting so that he has a way to contact us even without wi-fi.
Like Mr. FG and me, though, we expect him to keep using his phone mostly as though it has no service (which he's pretty good at, given that he's had a lot of experience!).
So, that should only add about $6 to our low monthly cell phone bill.
(He does like to talk on the phone to his friends sometimes, but we've got our Ooma service at home for that, which is costing us $0.00/month apart from taxes.)
The story will be the same for Lisey when she gets a little older. She's not much of a phone talker at all, though, so she probably won't be chatting on either our home phone or her smartphone.
She's more of a texter. 😉
FamZoo for money management
I keep meaning to write a post about this, but we've been using FamZoo.com (affiliate link) for the last year or so, and it's pretty great for helping to keep track of our kids' money. I bought Joshua and Lisey both prepaid cards for giving, spending, and saving, and the cards basically function like debit cards.
Their allowance is automatically distributed to each card every month, and when I do something like paying Joshua for mowing the lawn, I can put the funds into his FamZoo account electronically, which is super handy.
(I paid the $60 for two years of FamZoo service, which means I'm paying $2.50 a month for having all four kids use the service. Totally affordable.)
Extra-Curricular Activities
I'm probably not the best person to address this because we are not a sports family, and sports are probably the most common expensive teen extra-curricular activity.
But here's how things go at our house:
Neither Joshua or Lisey are interested in team sports, but they do both participate in a martial arts class. This isn't super cheap, but the nice thing is that since we all go, there's a sliding discount.
Joshua and Lisey both play music (guitar, bass, ukelele) and generally, we've helped support their musical purchases by splitting the cost 50/50. This makes their budget go farther but still helps them value the item.
I teach piano to both of them, but the cost of that is free. 😉
As far as other extra-curriculars go, they both babysit (yay for earning money!), they both volunteer at church, and Joshua plays some airsoft, a hobby he pays entirely for himself.
I have some general thoughts about extra-curricular activities, which I'll share in an upcoming post, but for now, I'll just say that it's ok to have your teen contribute to part of the cost if the expenses are out of your budget, and I'd also encourage you to remember that most kids don't need to be in multiple activities, so it's completely ok to limit these to what works with your financial situation.
Oh, and do check out what scholarships might exist for your extra-curriculars. Those are there for people to use, and there's no shame in taking advantage of 'em when there's just no budget room. I know my even my martial arts school has scholarships, so I imagine they're available in a lot of places.
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Alrighty! I know that there are a lot of you out there with teenagers, and I'm positive some of you are more experienced than me.
So, would you share your wisdom in the comments? What are your best tips for keeping expenses down with teens in the house?
How do you do allowances with your kiddos? I have a 9 month baby girl, and I am thinking what we can do to teach her the value of money (I know is early ;). And when start with some allowance.
Thanks
If I may answer : we started giving allowances once my daughter turned 4. Looking back, it was maybe a little early.... Anyhow, we have her put half the allowance in the "spending" container and half in the "saving" container. For now she received 1$ per week. This will grow with time. She's almost 6 and she's starting to understand the system and buying small trickets with her spending money. We give her opportunities to save that money, example telling her that if she can come up with 3$ than she can buy that special toy and we will pay the rest. It forces her to stop spending too quickly and installs a sense of responsibility and money management. They are just starting a "school bank" this week and she registered for it. It's pretty cool, it's a real bank account that gives interests and a cash bonus after that many deposits. So now she will still put 50% in savings at home (that gets deposited in a real bank account once in a while, along with monetary gifts she might receive, and a 50/50 she once win! This account needs a parent's signature to take money out), 25% in the spending jar at home and 25% in the spending account in school (this one does not require parental ok to withdraw, just the kid's signature) She does not quite understand yet, but she's excited! And so am I!
$200/week food - yay. I remember when your weekly food budget was $80; it's good to see you now have the capability to loosen the budget.
About those muffins & cereal for breakfast. Starches are efficient providers of energy. If someone is getting enough nutrition and needs the extra energy, then starches are an appropriate choice. Especially when they include whole grains, as we know yours do.
Yep, that's my theory. If my teens are still hungry after eating plenty of veggies, fruit, and protein, then it makes sense to fill in all the cracks with starches. And I figure if they are still very slim after all of that, well, I'm certainly not going to worry about their carb intake.
We have two teenage girls (14, 15) and operate a similar philosophy, although I think we probably finance some of their 'wants' too. For instance, during the school holidays I will usually take each of them and a friend or two out for the day, say to the movies and lunch. That's definitely not a need. I keep it inexpensive using vouchers or gift cards and taking snacks to the cinema.
I have a similar clothing issue with my super slim child: 6 ft and a size zero; it's getting harder to find jeans/trousers that fit. She is also super sporty. I daren't mention the details, but she currently plays 4 team sports, one of which is both inside and outside school. There's at least one session every day except Sunday. I wouldn't say it's particularly expensive, but she has multiple kits that need regular washing, various footwear and some equipment.
My other daughter recently gave up her out of school team sport because she is in an exam year at school (11th grade, no idea if the U.S. has something like High School Certificate then), wants to study medicine and has lots of school work to do. It's a shame though, for health reasons mainly. She's taken up jogging (v time efficient) in an attempt to keep fit.
I wondered what you do to keep your kids fit? I know they're all slim, but what do you do about cardiovascular exercise for health? I've never had to encourage mine (quite the opposite!) but if they didn't do any, including PE lessons 2-3 times a week at school, I think I'd probably have to timetable it 😉
I don't know about Kristen's kids, but my kids aren't interested in being on sports teams, either--they dislike the competition aspect of the teams. I have found that encouraging outdoor activity seems to take care of their cardiovascular health. We are more of a hiking/biking/swimming/sledding/snowshoeing kind of a family. I never had a huge interest in sports as a kid, either, and I think it would have been more helpful for me to have been encouraged in non-competitive physical activities that were fun for me, since I struggled to find cardiovascular activities I enjoyed participating in as an adult. I am hoping that I am setting them up for a lifetime of healthy behaviors--I guess time will tell.
I think environment varies hugely. One of mine isn't competitive at all, but was on a hockey team until this year.
I also wouldn't say my other, very sporty kid was competitive either. She thinks all games are fun. She just enjoys being active, to the point where she would still prefer to play tag or climb trees during break at school, than hang around chatting which is what girls of her age (14) typically do.
We live in England. My husband spent some of his childhood living in California, where his sister now lives with her family. I also did some swim training in the U.S. as a teenager. I don't think we have anything like the competitive sports environment that is often part of the American High School culture so I think it's very different. And a shame that many are put off.
The hyper-competitive atmosphere with sports teams in my area is frustrating for me. I was talking with a friend today whose first-grade son in on a football team--and he spends 12 hours/week with practices and games. She didn't realize what kind of a time commitment it was when she signed him up. I find that to be typical around here--my son's baseball team was more like 6-8 hours a week (do-able) but a lot of the kids on his team were also on sports travel teams. I feel like the elementary school years should be about kids having the opportunity to have exposure to different sports, not feel the pressure of competition and time. The YMCA in our area does a good job of offering different activities to kids in a less-competitive atmosphere, but it is also a pricey option so we have opted to do swim lessons only through them (we are surrounded by water where we live so water safety is of high importance to me).
They are in a martial arts class, plus they bike, scooter, jump on our trampoline, etc. And Lisey especially is faithful about working on her martial arts stuff every day at home.
So, we do active stuff, but it tends to not be of the organized sports variety, you know?
Sonia and Zoe are young enough that they just run around all day long!
I forget how active young kids are!
I can fully understand people not being into team sports, anything that gets your heart rate up is good for health. I'm not very competitive, but swam as a child. I think I just loved being in the water and hanging out with friends; the 'swim meets' were a tiny part of that (30 second races!)
They really are. Sometimes the challenge with young kids is getting them to sit still at all!
My kids aren't teenagers yet, no examples there, but I remember quite clearly the rule my parents had: we all do the same sport. In our case the sport was soccer, and we all did quite well, which meant we were on the expensive teams, so our "vacations" were the out-of-state tournaments everyone had to do eventually, though, my mom ended up getting her coaching license and coaching some of our teams (bonding moment!) and all of us became referees, which pays rather well for being teenagers. So I'd say it worked out well (oh and my dad got to be super sports dad, attending every game and practice, which he really enjoyed).
When my son started high school he was all fired up about how he was old enough to have his own cell phone now. Truthfully, I wanted him to have this too (safety/Mum/contact reasons) but I was not willing to add it to the budget for a 14 year old. We compromised. We added $5 to his allowance and bought him a phone that was excellent for texting and he could make a call should he absolutely have to for Christmas one year. It had a catch though. It was a pre-paid phone and we supplied his first pre-paid card. He was to use the extra $5 we gave him along with $5 of his own and buy his own pre-paid card every month. He would put a $5 texting package on his phone that would last him all month and there was that little bit extra for emergency phone calls. At 14 I seriously thought that he would soon lose interest. He did not. I found it taught him the value of not having to have the best of everything to have what he wanted (he learned how to make due) and it also taught him the value and responsibility of paying a monthly bill to keep what he truly wanted. He is now a 21 year old college student with a part time job (bought his own smart phone) and pays his bill every month like clock work. I figured that since he now had the money to have this thing serviced to the hilt but he did not. Although he is now on a plan, it is simply unlimited texting and evening and weekends free with a few extra minutes for emergency phone calls. He uses wi-fi to connect when ever and wherever he can. I agree with you. We considered this an "extra" and used it as a teaching tool of how important it is to pay your bills on time every time!!
When my daughter was about 13, I started giving her a bigger allowance with the stipulation that she would purchase all her wants with it and I would cover the basics. It worked pretty well, sometimes she would save up long stretches of time for something bigger and go without movies, etc.
As far as extracurricular activities and teenagers, I find children are so different and in such different circumstances, sometimes you do have to pay a lot to provide an environment for your children that others get for free. My son does not have active friends in the neighborhood and isn't motivated to exercise on his own, so I'm glad he does team sports. Same for music. I try to keep it within reason, it's easy to get sucked into all the things you have to pay for to reach the next level; but if the child is motivated I try to be supporting financially as well.
I have 3 kids - 11, 14, and a 16 year old. It is rare for me to leave the grocery store with $180 or less tab, and I see $200 regularly. It feels so wasteful. I'm glad to hear that you also are sitting right around that amount. My oldest plays rugby all but 2 months of the year, and the boy can eat. I used to be able to have a meal of leftovers at least once a week, but there aren't any leftovers many nights, and I double the recipes that serve 4-5!
My kids all have cell phones, the oldest and youngest have not-so-smart phones through Kajeet which allows you to track and block usage at certain hours. They are pay as you go or low monthly fees. The middle one has a galaxy s4 (bought on ebay as a bday gift) and is an add on to my tmobile plan with 1G of data. I checked out Ting, but the calculator said we wouldn't save money at this time. We restrict usage of cell phones to calls to parents until 7th grade. We leave them at practices and rely on car pools, so it is important that they have the ability to call us if something happens with their practice schedule or ride.
This is getting closer to my world than I am ready for! My elementary aged kids have all of a sudden developed a range of costly activities - swim team, math pentathlon, science club ... It's hard for me to say no when they are enthusiastic and they are positive experiences. In fact, it has always been the Experience Expenses that break my bank. I rarely spend more than pennies on clothes/toys etc, but an out of state family wedding (2 this summer!) ? Can't seem to turn it down.
Our teenager has a job and it amazes me how much of his own money he spends on food. He eats with us about half of the time but is really on the go a lot and even buys some of his own groceries. (He wants things like chips, sodas and other snacks that we wont buy.) He is 18 and a senior so he can make these types of choices and he is really on the go a lot.
He also pays for everything related to his car. Original purchase, gas, maintenance, licensing. We do pay for the insurance however the deal from the beginning was that if it raises due to tickets or accidents then he pays the difference. He now pays an additional 70 per month to the insurance co for the raise in rates due to his accident.
He also now buys all of his own clothes because he wants a specific name brand and does not want to wear thrifted clothing. Also his choice.
He told me once that he is enjoying this now because he will have o go back to the thrift store once he moves out.
A strange thing we have done to save money with the teenager is install a low flow shower head in the boys bathroom. I don't stress about the LONG showers and the water bill anymore.
Does orange account (ING) have an option for a debit card? Or is famzoo better?
ING is now Capitalone360 and they do have a teen acct. w/ debit card. We use it for our 15 year old who just got his first job and it is great.
Ingrid, the key differences between FamZoo and other debit cards is that we have designed the cards+app specifically for families and specifically to help teach good money habits. That means we try to automate typical money flows between family members (allowance, chore rewards, reimbursements, IOUs/loans, money requests) and add special features to teach/reinforce personal finance basics (auto split between spend/save/give accounts, parent-paid savings interest to teach the power of compound interest, parent-assessed loan interest to teach the dangers of debt, automated child billing to have kids pick up their share of family plan bills like cell data plans, etc.). You can find an extensive list on our FAQ pages and please contact us anytime with questions - we're always delighted to help! -Bill (Founder & Chief Dad)
I have two teens, a 19 year old (autistic) son who just graduated, goes to local technology center half day (free), takes piano lessons ($40 month) and plays Special Olympics basketball (free) and a 16 year old daughter who is in 4-H Club (mostly free except for occasional overnight conferences and money spent on project materials, which is pretty minimal), children's acting guild (depends on how many shows she does, but generally no more than $300 a year) and competitive dance (currently almost $400 a month which includes tuition, costumes and competition fees). She does student teach a dance class which earns a little credit toward her expenses. However, my take on it is dance and theatre are clearly areas in which she has tremendous talent and would like to pursue as a future career, so this is an investment in her future, not to mention good physical and mental activity, and teaches life skills like team work and public speaking/performing on stage, etc. That is also where her best friendships are and is a safe healthy environment. Kids involved in good activities are generally more goal oriented and less likely to be involved in destructive/unhealthy behaviors. She doesn't have time for a part-time job with her schedule and homework, acting and competitive dance are very hard work and time consuming and at times stressful, but they are her passions. I am willing to work extra odd jobs to help out, and we are blessed that my husband has a good paying job. She is a good student and helps out around the house (not perfectly, but she is getting better). I understand the importance of teaching kids the value of earning money to pay for things and not just getting a handout, but they also need time to just be a kid and enjoy not having that burden, there is plenty of time for that as an adult. I know there are kids who have the privilege of driving, but then they have part-time jobs after school just to help pay for gas and insurance, which leaves little time for socializing and extra-curricular activities. As for clothes, my kids are also tall and slim, so jeans especially are harder to find, but we watch for sales. My son mostly wears jeans and t-shirts, our church is casual so he only has one pair of dress pants for special occasions and a few nicer shirts to wear with good jeans to church. My daughter also prefers casual clothes and owns a few dresses for special occasions, but she has learned that we will look for good sales and try to get the most for our money. We are trying to limit our eating out to help save money.
You bring up a good point: Not all teens should work. Our son, 16 1/2 years old, does not have a job during the school year. He has AD/HD, and chooses to take the most difficult level of high school classes even though he has to work twice as hard as anyone else to succeed. He's also on the school debate team - another big intellectual and time commitment. To us, his "job" is to meet these demands, which are not typical for teens with AD/HD. He's not very materialist but recently asked if he could start doing more work around the house for extra money. We can use the help and will give him opportunities that he can work in around his school demands - a win-win.
I would also like to add that I see my daughter's time and effort put into dance and acting, as well as making good grades, as "work" she is doing that will help her earn good scholarships to help pay for college as well as experience that will help her get good jobs in the future.
Great post! We're still in the "oh my god daycare is like paying a second mortgage" phase, which I know is something you all tackled in a different way. But it is helpful to start thinking about these things now because I agree that you start them young with frugality (and many other things).
We had 3 teenage boys AND the daycare costs at the same time for a few years!!! My 3 stepsons are now grown and out of the house (2 military, 1 graduated college and on own) and my little girl is in last year of daycare before starting school. Thank goodness the food bills have calmed down. It was quite a challenge and I did everything I could to keep costs down by shopping sales, using coupons and cooking at home. All 3 were big eaters and in school sports.
Yes! I think planting the seeds of financial responsibility early on tends to make the teen years a little simpler to handle.
We have three teenagers. The boys are 18 & 16 and our daughter just turned 15 on Monday. Expensive, YES! Worth it, ABSOLUTELY! Our biggest expense is auto insurance. Both of my boys were given cars when they turned 16. Now stay with me...they contributed $1000, Grandma gave $1000 and we paid the rest. The autos were purchased used and paid for in cash. Why? We live in the biggest city in the country, land-wise, and getting around is almost impossible otherwise. Both are in college and have jobs. They pay for their gas. We pay the $470/mo in auto insurance because we keep high liability limits to protect the parents. $470 was the best I could find after many hours of work. Yes, food. Yes, clothing allowance. Yes, they pay for their own cell phones. Yes, dual enrollment so the 16 yo will have an AA college degree as he finishes high school (tuition free). Sometimes it's frustrating at the costs, but it is for a season and then they will be out of our home soon enough and we will be missing them.
I'm seriously dreading the car insurance thing. I know it's going to be especially expensive when we add Joshua, since insurance for teen guys is usually through the roof!
Thanks, friend.
You have tackled this hard topic wonderfully!! And yes, the budget does go up but when you approach that "need vs want" mentality head on, raising teens on a budget is SO SO doable for every family. 🙂
When I was a teenager I was able to get grants through the city to take dance classes, and had to volunteer as part of the requirements to get the grant. I'm sure my town is not the only one with this sort of program! It was nice too, for I was able to volunteer at a younger age than I was able to work, so I think it made it easier to prove to potential employers that I would work hard and would be good hire 😀
We have 2 boys (15, 12) and a girl (10) and yes, they eat a LOT. My oldest was about my height (1.73 m.) a year ago and is now taller than his dad, I believe 1.87 m., no wonder they have to eat so much. The 12 y.o. starts eating a lot more now.
They go to school on their bikes, about 4 miles. That is one reason for us to give them cell phones when they go to secondary school (here at age 12). Their phones are pre-paid and can only go online when there is Wi-Fi. They don't spend a lot of money on them, mainly what's apping when they have Wi-Fi. As for clothes; we get lots of them from friends and just have to buy shoes and some missing items. Sometimes these will be birthday gifts.
The boys play field hockey (3 versus 4 times a week), which means new sticks and clothes every year, the fee of the hockeyclub, driving to matches every other week. Half the time the matches are at home, so they can go on their bikes, but the other weeks they may have to travel up to 1 hour. They also help train younger boys 1 hour (the youngest) or 2 hours (oldest) a week. The 12 y.o. doesn't get paid for it, but the second year you are a trainer, you get paid a little, so the oldest has some extra money. They use their allowance for snacks at school (not every day!) and some things we don't buy them. They are never short of money and the 12 y.o. even suggested to save 1/2 of his allowance every month. I guess they have learnt a lot from the way we live as a family. Oh, and each child has 1 weekday to cook. That saves me time; I only lend a hand, except when the 10 y.o. cooks. And it is frugal for their future, as when they move out, they will be less likely to eat out all the time, knowing they can prepare a tasteful meal in little time for far less money. How is your cooking with the kids going?
Good thoughts. I like the general concept and plan of funding needs and letting the kids fund their wants. And going halves on musical instruments!
Sometimes, extra-curricular pursuits can get a little blurred with educational pursuits, especially in a homeschool family...because nearly everything can be educational! It was easy to figure out that if someone wanted to become an expert paint-baller, he'd need to fund most of that cost himself. But when he had already taken one foreign language, then wanted to study a 2nd one...and "needed" an expensive study program that you couldn't budget for? Or if he already played 3 instruments (played very well, orchestra-level and performance-level), but wanted to add a 4th and a 5th? That ambitious teen ended up paying for his own french horn lessons. Now earning college credit for his participation in a conservatory wind ensemble...in addition to his primary and double major. A homeschool graduate on a full tuition scholarship. Some kids are just hard to keep up with!
Well, hey, all those extracurriculars seem to have paid off financially!
We've done some things similar to what you've written here in your post...we buy their clothing, but if they want something "unnecessary", they pay for it themselves. Thankfully both of our kids (19 year old boy and 16 year old girl) are pretty content to wear jeans and simple shirts. Neither one of them is really picky about brand names, etc. We haven't given them an "allowance" for doing regular chores around the house, but have paid them for helping on the farm. We don't pay a lot, but as an "exchange", we pay the car insurance and gas for work/school. If they do something to make the rate go up, they will pay the difference. Our daughter raised 4H goats for several years, and saved most of that money. Recently she bought a "good" violin, bow and case. She used her own money (all but a small amount we told her we would contribute), because she wanted it to be "hers". There's something about ownership that makes one responsible.
We're on teens #3 & 4 now. Every August, I have my kids make a list of all the clothes & shoes they're going to need for the upcoming year (even underwear and pj's). I go over the list and make sure it's reasonable, and then assign a cost to each item (assuming some things will come from Goodwill). I tally the final cost, and that is their clothing budget for the entire upcoming year. If they choose to buy something extra, that's fine...it all comes out of their budget, and when the money's gone, it's gone. If they shop frugally, they can buy more things; if they are more extravagant, they'll get fewer things.
It's been interesting to watch the kids with this system; #3 takes his money straight to the mall and spends most of it on a few items from name brand stores. #4 checks the ads and monitors her spending carefully, making it stretch as far as possible. ("Why is underwear SO expensive???")
I don't give the money to the kids all at once, as I don't have it all at once. 🙂 I keep a spreadsheet showing how much money they've spent and how much they have left for the year. Also, each kid gets a different amount, based on need (ie, girls need bras, and those aren't cheap).
Before I came up with this system, it seemed that every time we went to the store, somebody remembered that they "needed" a new pair of jeans, or extra socks, or a hoodie. Now they don't have to ask me to buy them something, they have to decided if they want to spend "their" money or save it for something later in the year. I love not having that stress any more!
You might have already written about this before and if you did, could you please direct me to that post 🙂 - I'm wondering how you do allowances for your kids. How did you decide on the amounts that they get and at why age did you start giving them an allowance? Does it increase on each birthday? Thanks so much!
When our daughter was young, I think first grade, her allowance was 25 cents a week but we gave it to her in nickels rather than giving her a quarter. That made it easier for her to put some in her piggy bank and the church offering plate rather than spend it all at the corner store. She was happily surprised when we finally opened her piggy bank to see how much money she "owned."
BTW, all members of the family, including adults, got an allowance just as all members had chores to do. The allowance was not tied to the chores. Both were just part of being family. My husband mostly spent his on camera stuff and I spent mine on crafts. Good to feel free to do those things without feeling pressured to not spend that money or to spend it the way you thought others would want you to do.
Great post! As a mom of a 12-year-old and an almost-10-year-old, I've been thinking a lot lately about how things are changing in our home, financially and otherwise. My son is definitely hungrier these days! The other reason I can think of for increasing food spending is for when friends come over. I want my kid's friends to feel welcome, and part of that is having snacks available (usually homemade, but not always super healthy--cookies, anyone??).
You make me feel so normal ... our kids aren't sports kids, either. My son played baseball but he was no longer interested in it this year. Sports teams are a big deal around here so I feel like we are oddballs in that regard. My kids enjoy being physically active, but not the competition aspect of sports teams.
When did you let your kids have cell phones and what led you to make that decision?
Yep-none of our kids have wanted to play team sports, and Mr. FG and I just don't feel like that's something to push. To us, it doesn't matter if they get their exercise riding their bikes or playing soccer...just so long as they're active.
Our kids sort of slid into having phones...I had that free android from Ting, and Joshua needed a calculator for his math, so I let him have it for that, and for other wifi-enabled stuff. And then when Mr. FG upgraded his phone, it seemed sort of fair to give Lisey his old phone.
Neither of them have actual phone service on these for right now, so they're basically functioning like an iPod would, and it's not costing us anything.
Thanks for the great post! I just love ones like these, so inspirational.
Three grown children in their 30's and a fifteen yr old I adopted - only this time I'm single parenting. She would love to play the piano but it's not in the budget so she plays trumpet in school and cornet at church and French horn in community band all of which cost nothing but time. She was a competitive swimmer, but when fees, meets and travel crept up to nearly 20% of my take home pay I must admit I was relieved when a medical issue forced her to quit. Within the year we hope for her to start doing the courses she needs to become a lifeguard and instructor so she can earn money with her awesome skills. She has a small clothing budget. She has discovered Value Village so her clothes are a mix of thrifted and new. Her favourite snack food is home popped popcorn which will never break the budget. We focus on having fun spending as little money as possible but some experiences are worth spending a little extra.
We're much the same on a lot of things. I wanted to comment on the kids treating things better when they have paid for them. ::Sigh:: I can only hope one day my daughter will learn that. So far (at almost 11) she hasn't (except for summer camp). Stuff in her room? Doesn't matter if it's a library book, a school book, one I bought, or one she bought. All are treated the same--poorly. She paid almost $10 for a new water bottle (despite my having a number of new ones for free...she didn't like them). Dropped it within a week and broke it. She shrugged and threw it away. She buys snacks at school lunch...even tho it would be far cheaper to buy them at the grocery store and bring them. We have conversations about this...and she still "wastes" her money.
We've been doing an allowance and paid chores since she was 5 or 6. She saves really well for Girl Scout camp every summer (most of her allowance actually goes to that). But otherwise...money stuff just isn't sticking. And it's so important to me! (Which might be the reason it isn't to her. hmmmm....)
BUT, what I really want to say was I'm learning to let go and it's so much easier when it's her money. She wants to spend money on a water bottle and then break it? Her loss, not mine. Harder when it's the clothes I purchased, but at least this year I gave her a budget and said no more unless she out grows them. She she draws all over her pants and tears holes in the jeans? Oh well, not very many left she can wear to school. Her problem, not mine.
My son is all grown up now. In the 1980's when he was in high school there were no cell phones but somehow we all survived.If he HAD to reach me, he found a landline somewhere and called me! LOL!! For some reason he was not eager to drive! (lucky us!!) Most of what he needed to was close to home, and his friends had cars!! He enjoyed riding a bike! (And we live in Az. where the weather is good most of the time.) So--we got a reprieve on that for a couple of years then when he graduated high school, he got a car with our help and a license. We helped with auto insurance, he paid some as he went to community college and also worked. Food bills: Somehow our house was THE PLACE to hang out and I bought so much food at Costco to keep the teens all fed.. at least they cooked their own lunches on our barbecue grill-- but at least I knew where they all were.. in my pool and hanging out in the garage playing on our pool table.All of them are grown up now with their own kids, and know what? They are really good people and we're all still friends including the PTA parents (We still meet for coffee and wine!!) .So-- all that time and money is well-invested!!!! AND-- those years go by in a FLASH--enjoy! enjoy! enjoy!!
We pay for needs, they pay for wants - great system, I hope I can remember it for when I have a teen (about 12 years from now!)
I have two with big appetites (15 & 12), and it is amazing how much my very thin 15 yr old can put away! He's gone through a huge growth spurt recently, and he's constantly active. As long as they are eating mostly healthy, I think that's good. My kids aren't into sports either, but are constantly active. I agree about the needs/wants for kids spending. Part of that is them learning to manage their own money. My kids have fairly small wants, so it hasn't been an issue.
Thanks for the post. 🙂