Meet a Reader | Texas Rachel
Hello, everyone!
Today, we're meeting Rachel. She's been reading here since 2009, but she's actually never left a comment. She's making up for it today, though! I think you'll enjoy getting to know her, and I think you will be quite impressed with the cakes her husband makes.
Here's Rachel:
1. Tell us a little about yourself
My name is Rachel and I live in a suburb of Dallas, Texas.
My beautiful family. I’m NOT the one with blue hair.
My amazing husband and I have been married for almost 22 years and we have a 19-year-old daughter and a 17-year-old son.
My daughter just recently moved into a university residence hall, and my son has a busy life with school, work, and social activities, so I’m getting adjusted to a quieter household. The seasons of my life are definitely shifting!
I work full-time at a company that I’ve been at for 27 years - I’m fortunate that I love my job and my colleagues. I also enjoy volunteering for the community, writing, and scrapbooking. I’m in search of some new fulfilling hobbies since retirement isn’t THAT far off!
2. How long have you been reading The Frugal Girl?
I discovered The Frugal Girl eons ago. I’m tempted to say 2009… is that possible?
We moved from California to Texas in 2007 and when we did, my husband stopped working to earn his PhD. Not only did we not have his salary, but we were determined to cash flow his education, which we successfully accomplished. Although I was working, money was quite tight.
As the years have gone by, and our income has increased, I’ve ceased following practically every money-saving blog, except for The Frugal Girl. It’s my favorite blog – not just my favorite frugal blog… it’s my FAVORITE BLOG.
I appreciate Kristen’s cheerfulness, practical tips, and sunny outlook on life. You can say that I came for the frugality and stayed for the positivity! I also appreciate how consistently she posts – I always start my day by reading her delightful blog which inspires me and sets me in the right mindset.
My husband’s PhD graduation – where did our babies go? Now one has blue hair…
3. How did you get interested in saving money?
I have always been naturally frugal. This was not modeled for me growing up, rather it’s just an innate personality trait that I’m super happy to possess. Being a frugal girl in a non-frugal family has created many laughs and jokes over the years, but I can take it!
I enjoy stretching a dollar and most importantly, I enjoy intentionally spending money.
I kept a budget when I was young, and I still keep one today so that I can be deliberate with where our money goes. I never wake up at the end of the year and wonder, “what on earth did we spend our paychecks on?” Since I plan and budget for items that are high priorities for me and my family, this yields guilt-free spending.
For instance, I put a decent amount in our travel budget each year because that’s a priority. I also put a decent amount into our food budget because we enjoy eating a variety of cuisines. But I put very little into our clothing budget, and when I do shop, I largely shop second-hand.
Several years ago, we went to a local tourist spot, Medieval Times. While there, they dressed us up in Medieval clothing and had us pose for a (rather cheesy) photo. It was fun to take, but I declined to buy it and said to my family: “you know what the shingle on my retirement house will say? I didn’t buy the souvenir photo!” And thus, a new catchphrase was born.
I now say that often and with great predictability… “you know what the shingle on my retirement house will say? I didn’t buy the shoes… I didn’t buy the gadget.”
One of the best presents my husband ever gave me was my very own homemade shingle!
The shingle my husband made me. Such a thoughtful gift!
Just to be clear, if the souvenir picture had been important to me, I would have gladly budgeted for and bought it. But it would have been an impulse purchase at the time that wasn’t in the least bit important to me in the long run.
4. What’s the “why” behind your money-saving efforts?
I discovered one of the secrets to happiness a long time ago: generosity.
At different points of my life, I’ve been able to be generous with my time, talents, and treasures – rarely all three at the same time. And it’s often taken some creativity to achieve.
When we were young and newly married (and quite broke), my husband and I wanted to start a college scholarship in my beloved grandfather’s name. Is this something that we could even do? We weren’t the Rockefellers after all!
We called the Alumni Center of my alma mater and they happily worked with us to create it – we funded it a little bit each year until it was endowed. How happy that made my grandma and my mom to know that my grandfather’s memory would live on in perpetuity.
Once, our school had a pajama drive to collect new PJs. I had a budget in mind and when we went to the store, I was delighted to find a terrific 50% off sale.
We were able to buy out the whole display of toddler pajamas – I still remember that exhilarating feeling. No designer purse could fill my heart like that – I truly got an endorphin rush!
It was such a great feeling to buy ALL the toddler pajamas to donate.
I also keep a budget for random acts of kindness. Remember when Kristen’s daughter made those adorable knit critters?
I emailed and told her that I’d buy one for her to donate to anyone she would like. It was a win/win/win – Sonia and Kristen were happy, I was happy, and the recipient was happy. It was a creative use of my hard-earned money that made me feel extraordinarily fulfilled.
It was a great feeling to buy Sonia’s knit critter to donate.
5. What’s your best frugal win?
My husband and I don’t give each other expensive material gifts for our anniversary. Instead, we write one another letters and we have never missed a single year. My most treasured possession in the world is the book of letters we’ve exchanged.
Almost 22 years of love letters.
In an age of texts and emails, I have a book of love letters!
We also give each other fun memory boxes with items that highlight our memories from the prior year – they are imaginative and just oodles of fun to put together.
Me and my love, Jason.
Since we were married on October 30, we also carve the number of years of marriage in a pumpkin.
Last year’s pumpkins. The “vote” pumpkin and masked pumpkin were very 2020.
We have some fun traditions with our kids for their birthdays as well. I write them a letter each year – it’s a way for me to express my love and pride but also to be their historian and document their highs, lows, and new experiences.
My husband bakes them each a clever and creative cake – these would cost hundreds of dollars to buy from a posh bakery and his talent is impressive!
We do give our kids material gifts – when they were babies, we would literally wrap toys they already had, because the fun was in the unwrapping, but that doesn’t quite fly with teenagers!
6. What’s a dumb money mistake you’ve made?
I’m not as good about food waste as Kristen is – she inspires me do to better and I consistently hear her in the back of my mind every time I clean out the fridge.
I’m sure I would not be pleased to add up the amount of money I’ve thrown out over the years – not to mention the waste of resources and energy it took to bring that food from the field to my home.
7. What’s one thing you splurge on?
I do splurge on travel – I prioritize buying memories and experiences, rather than things.
I also have a really good camera since I love to take photos and scrapbook. There’s frugality inherent in everything though, as I’m always looking for good travel deals and how to stretch our dollars.
On a recent trip that involved wildlife, we rented a big fancy lens from a local camera shop, which was a fraction of the cost of buying a new one.
This photo makes me look more outdoorsy than I am. I was fishing with my family on vacation and by fishing, I mean watching.
You can see the big fancy rented camera lens in the first photo of my family.
I also splurge on live theatre. I love musicals and am over the moon that live theater is making its return.
I’m more of an indoor girl, so theater is more my speed.
8. What’s one thing you aren’t remotely tempted to splurge on?
I’m not even a bit tempted by designer clothes, make-up, purses, etc. I don’t appreciate shoes either, designer or not. Just ask my sisters and friends about my beat-up Crocs that I swear will survive an apocalypse.
I also don’t spend money on fine wine or gourmet chocolate. I’m just as happy with a $3.99 bottle of Moscato from Aldi than I ever would be with an expensive Napa Valley wine. Similarly, I am just as happy with a Hershey bar as I would be with imported European chocolates.
I don’t have a temptation to buy a luxury car – I’m a Honda kind of girl and we drive our cars for ages. I don’t get bent out of shape (pun intended) with scratches and dents either. I have the same philosophy about cars and luggage: they are designed to protect the contents inside!
I also don’t spend a lot of money on household furnishings. I read Marie Kondo’s book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up and have since learned to decorate with items I already have that spark joy.
Decorating with Marie Kondo’s book, inspired by Marie Kondo’s book. I get so much joy out of Brandon Stanton’s Humans of NY blog as well.
9. If $1000 was dropped into your lap today, what would you do with it?
I would likely put some into savings and give some of it away. And maybe treat myself to a facial.
10. Share a frugal tip with other Frugal Girl readers
I don’t think I have a novel frugal tip that these awesome readers haven’t thought about. So, I’ll pivot the question a bit. I truly enjoy Kristen’s blog for the positivity and the emphasis on contentment.
I notice things more when Kristen points them out in her Thankful Thursdays and Kristen Prompted posts. I notice the sunsets more when I walk, notice the feel of my family’s hands in mine, and how much I appreciate sunlight and warmth.
Appreciating the sunset on a walk
I have dealt quite a bit with Imposter Syndrome over the years. If you’re not familiar with Imposter Syndrome, it’s where people (usually women) feel as though they aren’t good enough and that they will be found out any minute that they don’t belong or fit in, that they will be exposed for not being that great of a worker, mother, etc. Perhaps you know the feeling.
In talking through it with a friend, it was suggested that I give this feeling a name, so I did: Issy (the I-S stands for Imposter Syndrome). Now, whenever I get that feeling that I’m not good enough, I tell myself “That’s just Issy sitting on my shoulder talking” and I quickly come up with three reasons why what’s she’s telling me can’t possibly be true.
I was also encouraged to give a name to the opposite feeling… to imagine a cheerleader sitting on my other shoulder, enthusiastically telling me that I can do it, and filling me with positivity, hope, and optimism. I named her Kristen. 😊
__________
Rachel, I have to tell you, when I got your email and read what you'd written, I teared up at the last part. I feel very honored that your encouraging shoulder angel is named after me! Thank you so much for sharing this with me.
A few questions/comments from me:
- Your daughter looks so much like your husband, especially in the family photo!
- It seems like you and your husband are still head over heels for each other. Want to share any marriage advice?
- What's your very favorite musical?
Hah! I turn to Kristen's blog first thing every week day morning for the very same reasons!
@Chrissy, I think we all do. I can't or don't comment as much as I'd like but I read every day without fail. It's a little daily pick me up.
Thanks for sharing your story, Rachel. Go Mean Green!
I, too, dial up Kristen's blog each weekday morning for the positive boost from this special community. And some days I really need it.
Rachel, your family is delightful! The cakes are such fun and your frugal roots run deep. I hear you on the fact that decluttering Kondo style is easier than conquering food waste. Thanks for sharing!
Food waste is HARD. I've been actively working at this for over a decade now, and I still end up letting some things go to waste.
But I remind myself that I'm wasting less than I would if I wasn't even trying!
@Kristen,
I threw out the $$$$ guanciale $$$$ by accident this weekend. Talk about waste. OOops.
@Rose, is this a typo or did you really mean the Italian meat?
@Kristin, I really meant the Italian meat, bought to make pasta carbonara. Ooops.
Ditto on the morning Kristen blog reading! I love how all the readers in the "Meet a Reader" interviews have their own ways of defining and being frugal, and such a variety of reasons for doing it!
@Julie Norman, So true -- I always learn something new
What a wonderful interview. I too have quit reading all money saving blogs except this one. Like you it is not the money saving but the overall message.
I love your generosity. I am still working on my husband, and especially my daughter, to get that for me a gift is being able to do things for others. You express it so well.
What a lovely and inspiring interview! I love the positive energy that this blog and its readership exude. It is certainly a pleasure to read about your frugal life.
BTW, I am also constantly trying to do better in the area of food waste. It is much more challenging than it should be! I hope to get to the point of zero waste one day.
Rachel,
I love the idea of writing love letters for your anniversaries! I am a letter writer, but I never once thought of that idea.
Your husband's cakes are a wonder. He could have a PhD in cakes! It seems your family is creative, generous and inspired, and frugality helps all your goals. That's a side of frugality that some people miss, in my experience. They see frugality as just being miserly. They don't realize that frugality can fuel a lifestyle they can truly enjoy.
Thanks for chiming in, and don't be a stranger!
@JD, I agree that unless people have the ability to find frugality fun, they won't stick with it. A remark I seem to recall from the late Joe Dominguez of Your Money or Your Life fame (although I've never been able to confirm it via Google) is "When this stops being fun, you'll see my tail lights!" Thank goodness that most if not all of us here find it fun.
And I hope that your DH is continuing to settle in well at assisted living. I just came back from a better-than-usual visit to my DH: He was more alert and verbal than usual, and actually seemed to recognize me (he smiled and kissed my hand). I almost wept.
Oh, that is just lovely to hear! I am delighted that you had a good visit with your DH.
@A. Marie,
He's getting there slowly, thanks, but what wonderful news about your visit with your DH! That's so good to hear!!
@A. Marie, I'm teary eyed at hearing about your nice visit with your husband. So sweet.
@A. Marie, this is wonderful! So happy for you.
@JD, yes!! Frugality is the reason my. Husband and I were able to retire early. Because we planned for it and live in a way that afforded us this joy. It isn’t because we are misers!! Well
Said!
Rachel, you have a great, inspiring approach to frugality - I love how many of your examples require a mind that's ready to think out of the box a little bit (e.g. I would never have thought about exploring how to fund a scholarship prior to having "enough" money ready). And your husband's cakes - wow!
That's great advice about Imposter Syndrome, and noticing things to be thankful for - good ways to cultivate positive habits of mind. Thanks for deciding to be an interviewee and sharing all this good stuff!
Loved your story. Here is a most rewarding tip......God tells us how important we are in the Bible. We don't need society to tell us our worth. Read Psalms 139: 13-16. He tells us how He knitted us together in our mother's womb. He chose you. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. You are always, very important!
@dezi, I am not actively involved in a church- religion is so complicated for me. However, this is one of my favorite verses. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. I love it and find it reassuring.
@Bernadine,
I am so glad to see your reply. It is okay. You are still loved and chosen by Him and I am glad to know that you already know it. I will be thinking about you. Dezi
Love Rachel’s story! Thank you for sharing!
Rachel: I love EVERYTHING about your post - including the blue hair! Thanks for sharing so much good stuff with us.
Thank-you Rachel. I love your anniversary love letters and those to your children. You are a wealth of information and encouragement. What a gift to your grandmother and mother when you made the scholarship happen. Bravo!
I think you also nailed it about generosity. It’s a bit like a muscle that grows as we give it practice. I found that like you that my frugal ways can extend my generosity. Win/ win for everyone.
Pleasure reading about your life. I chime in as a reader who appreciates seeing a new post in my inbox.
It made me cry too!!!!
Great story, Rachel! I hope you'll start commenting on the regular!
I also wanted to buy one of Sonia's toys to give to our local toy drive. I think I was too late writing, though. If I buy from the local (kind of overpriced, but it is what it is) toy shop, though, the owner matches the gift. Our food pantry toy drive gives to the children of the local farmworkers, which I love. That's what I did last year and will do again this year.
Your love letters and your letters to your children ... wow. Brilliant idea. So much more meaningful than the latest doodad. I got a kick out of your husband's shingle that he made. You and your family sound like a joyful bunch!
Hi Rachel, it was so good to read your comments on a rainy gloomy Monday morning, picked me right up. You have a lot of very good ideas. Thanks again
Wow Rachel! What an inspiring post. I too turn to Kristen's post with anticipation. Thank you for sharing your story with us.
Wow, thank you everyone for the positive comments! I have been inspired by each and every one of the "Meet a Reader" posts... I figured if I get that much inspiration from you, perhaps you could get a nugget or two from me. I love learning from one another!
And to our amazing Kristen - I'm happy to see the comments echoing the appreciation of your blog, cheerful writing style, and the community you've created. I love the Nelson Henderson quote that says, "Plant a tree under whose shade you will never sit." Imagine how many trees you've planted with your encouragement and optimism. You are a treasure!
What a beautiful post! I , too, have been reading Kristen’s blog for over a decade and it has consistently been a bright spot. Thank you for sharing your frugal journey. You have a beautiful life and family!
Hi Rachel thank you for sharing. I share your belief in spreading money around in good ways instead of hangin gon with a tight grip. I love Broadway musicals and miss them so much. My favorite was The Grand Tour with Joel Grey. I would see him in anything. Your post is so inspiring.
I appreciated your comments about Impostor Syndrome. For me, it would be Invisible Syndrome. I quit work to raise 3 children and then discovered my dh didn't want me to work in case they needed something, although I've since learned it was his pride that was at stake. When our son was a senior, dh had his stroke, so there goes any chance of me ever having my own life. I fade into the background and continue to do want I can to support our sons - dd hates me and won't communicate at all and tend to dh's needs. It is what it is and I try to find joy when I can. Not much of it lately though and I just can't find a light at the end of the tunnel.
Oh, Jennifer. That is a lot of hard things, and all such heavy personal stuff too. My heart goes out to you. Big hugs.
@Jennifer,
Dear Jennifer, I understand why you feel invisible, but:
You are important. You are the foundation that your house rests upon. It may not be as noticeable as the rest of the house, but a house's foundation is an absolute requirement, and without it, a house will not stand. Continue to look for the joys, and please, speak your needs. I use a Stephen Minister (which is free, and not therapy, just someone to listen and validate my feelings) to help me through my situation, and there are organizations for caregivers out there: https://www.caregiver.org/resource/caregiving-101-being-caregiver/.
May you have peace!
@Jennifer, as one caregiver to another, I hear your pain. And I'm sorry things are so rough for you in other ways. As JD has said, you are here, and you do matter. Love and solidarity.
@Jennifer,
So sorry about your situation. It’s good that you expressed your pain here, in a caring community. May you find resources and people in your life as well who can listen and help.
@Jennifer,
Please get help. Please. One, you sound depressed. Two, my dad killed himself caring for my mom after her stroke. (Not literally, but if Mom hadn't had her stroke, I believe Dad would be still alive....)
My parents refused to accept any home health care. When my dad had to have a minor hospital procedure (three months later, he died there) I cared for my mother on my own and quite honestly thought I would lose my mind. It is unbelievably difficult and impossible to understand unless you've been there. While I was there, I insisted on lining up some help; my mother cried because Dad wouldn't be happy when he got home. (He never came home.) I finally lost it and snarled to her that she was the child now and I was the adult and I was arranging care for her and that was final. Ashamed of that but I was driven to the brink after weeks of bedpan duty and washing and toileting and cooking and oh, having a fulltime remote writing job.
My sister eventually had my mother move in with her after Dad died, and I told her not to, she was going to be driven out of her mind and she pooh-poohed me, and guess what, she was nearly driven out of her mind. And that was with an aide.
You are not invisible. You have value and worth and caring for a person on your own after a stroke is MORE than any single adult can do. You will kill yourself like my dad did if you keep on.
Sorry for the long comment, but please, please, there is no shame in needing help. None at all. Call your local social services agency and talk to them--they will have resources for you.
Oh and this sounds awful and I'm sorry, but if you do get aides in your home, lock up your jewelry and valuables. The aides robbed my mother blind. Not just jewelry, etc, but things like framed pictures I'd given her, an antique lamp that had belonged to my great-grandmother, all kinds of things which I'm still heartsick about.
@Jennifer, At the very least, make a list for yourself of what you DO do. You cook, clean, shop, deal with bills and income, deal with medical professionals and insurance, order supplies, keep up the house and yard, chauffeur, cheer up your husband, keep records, research options, be a good friend, and so forth, (as well as live frugally). These things can fade into the background, but you are not invisible! Hugs to you!
@Jennifer, I am praying for you! I have such tremendous respect for those who are caregivers of family members or who work as caregivers. Please know you are a VIP!! As others have said, try to seek out some support for yourself even if it's an aide for a few hours a day or a couple of times a week. I'm also praying that you can begin a new relationship with your dd. Big hugs to you!
I really enjoyed reading about your life and ideas. I admired so many aspects of it. I thought your gift giving traditions were exceptional.( I wish I was a bit more creative gift giver. )You value things which make life meaningful. Thanks for the inspiration.
Thanks for sharing, Rachel! Your letters sound like such a treasure!
Texas Rachel, this post was a delight. We have a few things in common: (1) I too came to TFG for the frugality and stayed for Kristen's positivity and consistent posting; (2) I too am struggling with food waste (since I'm having to adjust to cooking for just myself, in my case); and (3) I too have an October 30 wedding anniversary (my anniversary pumpkin, if I carved one, would read 42 this year).
Wow!! Writing each other letters for your anniversary and the boxes. I love that idea. You seem very much in love and have such a lovely story.
Thank you for sharing so many beautiful things, Texas Rachel. Like others, I found inspiration in your philosophies and the things you do.
Rachel, we share the sentiment about cars. I drive Hondas, take good care of them and keep them clean, but regard them as transportation, not a work of art. I did spend $20 on a color-matched paint pen to touch up nicks on my current 12-year-old Honda so that it won't rust, and consider that money well spent.
Oh I just loved your post -- thank you for sharing all your positivity and kindness and reminding me to try and do better. And to ignore the "Issy-fits" 😉 Just a pleasure to meet you!
Thanks for such a wonderful post! Your words about being frugal in order to be generous really resonated with me, as I too love to give to others. Anonymous giving is the best!
I also love your creative gift ideas. What treasures they must be! Thanks for sharing!
Thank you for sharing everything in this post! I have had plenty of Issy’s whispering in my ear, but now I know exactly what to do! Just listen to my better shoulder angel and poo pooh that other one…brilliant!
Rachel, what a fantastic post. I relate to many of your philosophies and have picked up a few new ideas from you. So nice to get to k ow you and your lovely family!
I've often been someone suffering from Imposter Syndrome. I think it's a female thing. I'm a writer. One piece I wrote yesterday was picked up and reprinted by a very, very authoritative journal in its field today, and I thought to myself, "Oh ha ha, they think I know anything about what I'm writing about" and then I thought NO. I am not going to do that stuff. I'm an expert in several fields, actually, and I am NOT going to do that female modest "Oh li'l ol' me?" stuff. A man would just be pleased the journal recognized his magnificence, as it were, ha.
I love everything about this post.