Meet a New York Reader | Stephanie
Stephanie emailed me when I put a call out for reader submissions and she wondered if it would be ok to participate, since she and her husband are high earners with no kids, and they don't really NEED to be frugal.
And I said, "Of course!". Part of the fun of this series is that we get to see the wide variety of lifestyles represented by the readers here. I think it's lovely that our community is not just made up of people whose life story mirrors my own.
Here's Stephanie:
1. Tell us a little about yourself
me, doing the NY Times Spelling Bee
I am 43 years old and live in Brooklyn, New York City – I'm working from home these days but previously I commuted to midtown Manhattan for work. I grew up in the suburbs of Washington DC, and as an adult have also lived in San Francisco and DC proper, but Brooklyn is definitely now home.
I live with my husband and our poodle named Ollie, currently, in a 3-story, 10-unit apartment building, and all three of us enjoy a lifestyle where we can walk to lots of things, including beautiful Prospect Park.
We got a poodle due to my in-laws’ allergies, so they could visit our home, but professional dog grooming is very expensive, so naturally, I learned how to do it myself!
Broadly speaking, I work in finance (I studied economics in college, and finance and accounting in business school). I’ve had a couple of short stints at actual Wall Street firms, but mostly I work with economists who act as expert witnesses in lawsuits related to finance – corporate disputes about money.
Think about the largest banks and corporations in the world, and that’s the type who would hire my firm to work with their $1,000-an-hour lawyers and prepare a professor from a top university to testify at trial.
My coworkers are introverted, nerdy, spreadsheet-loving types like me, and I am lucky to work with really nice and smart people.
That said, in some of the lawsuits we work on, I feel we are on the wrong side of the case and this bothers me a lot. I got into finance when I was younger, out of a genuine passion for the topic, but my interest waned after the financial crisis and I do feel a bit lost, looking for more satisfying work.
I left this industry for a spell in 2018 to be the finance manager of a large natural foods grocery store co-op (a 70% pay cut), but sadly that job did not work out so I returned to consulting and for now I focus on how it allows us to build financial security and be generous in charitable giving.
One of my hobbies is knitting and I love DIY projects of all kinds. I do a bit of container gardening and tend to my houseplants, make yogurt twice a week, make (and can) applesauce from time to time, and do some occasional pickling.
Last year I learned how to make soymilk starting with soybeans, and I’d like to take the next step and learn to make my own fresh tofu.
For the last few years I’ve kept a worm bin for composting (indoors!) and although I had one bad incident when I forgot to feed the worms for too long (we were moving apartments…it all just got away from me…) I now think I’ve got the knack of it and I get a big kick out of recycling our food scraps and making my own “black gold.”
My husband works in non-profit development (he’s a database administrator) and loves to play guitar and bass, and we both are pretty big homebodies.
Recently he has gotten very into jazz, so it is great we live in a city with so many talented jazz musicians!
I am saving up our travel rewards points for a trip to Japan someday, and we will definitely plan to see some live jazz music in Tokyo.
2. How long have you been reading The Frugal Girl?
A very long time! I had my 10-year wedding anniversary earlier this year, and I think I started reading The Frugal Girl before I got married, so I’ll say more than 10 years.
3. How did you get interested in saving money?
I think I have always been a natural saver, but I also have been shaped by some twisted dynamics around money I observed in my family when I was growing up.
This, combined with one of my parents being controlling in general, resulted in me growing up to be fiercely determined to not depend on others for money so that I could make my own choices about my own life.
4. What's the "why" behind your money-saving efforts?
Overall, a general desire for independence and security, with other goals layered on top of that.
In my 20’s I was focused on saving for a down payment for a home. I read Your Money or Your Life and started thinking about how a person could save enough money so they didn’t have to work anymore. I also got interested in how a more environmentally friendly lifestyle also tended to be a frugal lifestyle and a simple lifestyle, all of which appealed to me.
About that time, I’d been doing very well at work, and one day my boss “joked” to me that they just needed me to get into a big mortgage, the implication being that I’d then be tied to that job and its paycheck. Woah!
These days I am still focused on achieving financial independence and making sure we will be provided for later in life.
5. What's your best frugal win?
Overall, just avoiding most of the lifestyle inflation that our income could support.
6. What's a dumb money mistake you've made?
In my last year of college, when I was swept up in learning about finance and investing for the first time and tech bubble mania was at its peak, I took some savings and invested in a high-tech mutual fund. The fund lost 95% of its value over the following year.
It wasn’t such a bad thing to get burned at a young age when the dollars involved weren’t so large and I’ve been a 100% index funds gal ever since.
7. What's one thing you splurge on?
We have multiple splurges! We spend more on groceries than we could – but I think what we get is better quality and worth it.
We also have a car (a little Fiat – perfect for 2 city dwellers) and in NYC you can definitely do fine without one, as I did for many years. But you usually can’t bring a dog in a ride share or rental (we take him to our in-laws sometimes, and to parks for day hikes and such), and the hassle factor would be a lot higher.
Lastly, a pure luxury – we have linen sheets for our bed! I line dry them and we love the rumple-y-ness the night after I do laundry.
8. What's one thing you aren't remotely tempted to splurge on?
Cosmetics do not tempt me.
I’ve had friends try to have me share in their fun with makeup, and once in a while I’d buy some products, but it never stuck. Now I know that it’s not for me and that’s just fine.
9. If $1000 was dropped into your lap today, what would you do with it?
I’d just put it in our housing fund. Last year we sold our apartment and we’re renting while we look for the next place. We want to move up in housing a bit so we’re saving up for that.
10. Share a frugal tip with other Frugal Girl readers
Bank your raises as much as possible (keep living off your old salary and save the extra you earn from your raise).
Embrace naturally frugal (and environmentally friendly) vegetarian eating and look to delicious cuisine from around the world for fun and interesting meal ideas.
Also, for people in the U.S., one specific frugal tip is to look into purchasing discounted gift cards for places you regularly shop. Sites like giftcardwiki.com are good for this.
11. Is there anything unique about frugal living in your area?
In NYC we are rich in wonderful options for free entertainment. Although housing here is horribly expensive, you don’t need to spend much on transportation if you are cool with walking and taking public transit.
Lastly, the Craigslist economy in New York is strong!
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Stephanie, thanks so much for sharing your story with us. We are birth-year buddies, which made me think of how interesting it is to see how our paths in life have differed (you got your degree long ago, and mine is still years in the future!)
I have a question: you said you'd lived in the suburbs at one point, but it sounds like you've spent a whole lot of your life living in the city. Do you ever miss suburban living? I ask because I've always lived in the suburbs, with lots of trees around, and I wonder if I'd miss all that green if I lived in a city.
Hi Stephanie! I think I don't want to know what a worm bin is like when it "gets away from you," but that totally sounds like something I would do. 🙂
@kristin @ going country, I'm curious about the worm bin, too, but I'm also kind of afraid to hear the details!
@Kris, it was more sad than gross...it basically just got totally dried out and the poor worms starved to death!
Hi, Stephanie. It's nice to meet you. I am staunchly in the "country mouse" category, but it's nice to see "city mouse" life from your frugal perspective.
Hi, Stephanie. What a great looking poodle! We always have groomed our own dogs. It saves quite a bit and an easy skill to learn. Thanks for the great tip about gift cards. Do you think it’s harder to be frugal in densely populated urban areas?
@Bee, I think overall it probably is harder. Housing is more expensive and that's just so much of most people's budget. In urban areas, you also tend to see lots of tempting money-costing things like store windows with fetching displays, ads for fun ticket-requiring activities, menus displayed outside of nice-looking restaurants, other people wearing awesome looking clothing and shoes, and on and on. Sometimes out of sight out of mind is a good thing! On the other hand, one hopes that you can have a job that pays a higher salary to help compensate for higher cost of living, and I do love that smaller homes are faster to clean. I also think many things in a city are a lot more effortful, particularly for people with kids -- I do not envy parents lugging strollers up and down the subway stairs in NYC - ugh - or people with small kids living on the 3rd or 4th floor of walk up buildings (apartment buildings with no elevators). On the other hand, I would not want to trade into a commute where I had to drive every day -- I can knit or read on the subway and I love love love not being "in charge" of the vehicle. And the people watching is superb and never gets old to me.
Stephanie: I really enjoyed hearing about your life and goals. Your tips are spot-on. I smiled when I saw the picture of you doing the NYT spelling bee, as I was taking a break from today's bee to read your story. Thanks for sharing your words and pics!
@MB in MN, I saw the Spelling Bee featured in your Meet a Reader post and was SO excited! We live in very different places but I felt like we have a lot in common. I like the idea that all over the country (and world) there are people who are kindred spirits.
@Stephanie in Brooklyn, and @MB in MN, I'm another NYT Spelling Bee addict. But I won't subscribe to it because (a) I'd do nothing else if I did, and (b) frugality is all.
@A. Marie, I don't subscribe either! I write down the letters and then work out the words on paper. My sole motivation is to find as many words as I can.
@Stephanie in Brooklyn, agreed!
That parking job? Seriously impressive. I'm a country mouse here and I think I've only parallel parked a couple times in my entire life.
And thanks for the note that dog grooming is fairly easily learnable! We don't have a dog because it would be too expensive to find care for since we travel about a third of the year, but we've talked about it. We host so many people at our home that we would need to get an allergy friendly one. But that sounded too expensive to do! So thanks for the hope!
@Dorinda, thank you very much! When I was 16 and went for my driver's license test, I almost failed because it took me too long to parallel park and I might have...just very gently tapped one of the poles...so I've come a long way. Also I released desire on not having scratched up bumpers.
@Dorinda,
I don't actually know why people think poodles et al are "allergy friendly." People say they have hair instead of fur, but biologically there is no difference between hair and fur.
@Rose, So I found this: It's estimated that 10% to 20% of the world population is allergic to dander. With that said, the reason why Poodles are considered hypoallergenic dogs is because they rarely shed. As a result, not enough dander is released into the air to likely trigger an allergic reaction. Poodles are not 100% hypoallergenic.
My dog loving but allergic son had far fewer allergic responses to our low shedding Yorkie than our coat blowing Husky and current German Shepherd.
@Karen,
Dander is skin flakes, not hair, so poodles not shedding has nothing to do with it.
Your son might respond less to the Yorkie simply because a Yorkie is much smaller than a husky or German shepherd, and therefore there are less skin flakes.
@Rose, I wonder if a poodle's curls help contain their dander? Sorry if this is kind of yucky, but there is definitely some visible "dandruff" that I see when I shave down my dog's curls (and then he gets a nice bath). I also can say that for whatever reason, my in-laws do fine around our poodle, but had a terrible time with our last dog (not sure what breed, a little brown dog with regular fur).
Also, Kristen, I'm glad you're on Eastern Time. I woke up earlier than usual this morning and add I stumbled down the hallway in the dark, I thought, "I wonder if the Meet the Reader is up yet?" And lo and behold, it was.
As a reader on Mountain Time, it's nice to be able to start my day with your encouraging posts. 🙂
This made me smile! Even on days when I run late, my posts are probably still fairly timely for those of you out west.
@Kristen, I think I may have been your first reader today. I had been checking any further comments on the last post and was scrolling up about to leave when this new post actually popped on at 5 a.m. -- that is an early start to the week.
You should get a prize or something! Ha. When I am organized enough to get posts written ahead of time, I schedule them for 5 am EST.
Hi, Stephanie, good to meet you!
As a rural person, I appreciate your insights into the upsides and downsides of city living re: frugality.
I love standard poodles, so I was glad to see yours. Good job on learning the grooming!
It sounds like you and your husband have your goals set and are working well together to achieve them. I'm impressed!
Stephanie, there's a lot of interesting stuff in your interview and I haven't even finished reading it yet but as soon as I saw that parallel parking job I had to come down to the comments to say WOW! Astonishing! (I wonder which was harder - that, or Oluffa the great chicken doorstop : )
@Suz, thank you! Oluffa the chicken doorstop certainly took longer, but was so much more fun. I get a big kick out of finding a "Fiat-sized" parking spot and squeezing into what other drivers would consider "not a spot." Sometimes there will be people hanging out on a stoop or on the sidewalk who watch you parking, and then it gets stressful...you have to just block them out of your mind. But with that particular parking job, I felt like I should have had an audience who clapped after I got out of the car 🙂
I thought of another question: how did you come up with your chicken's name? As you probably know, my kids like to come up with wild names for things in our house, so your chicken's name piqued my interest!
@Kristen, that came right from the book with the pattern - here is a link to it on Ravelry: https://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/oluffa-doorstop
This pattern is inspired by traditional knitting in the Faroe Islands - I had never heard of the Faroe Islands before getting this book. It says: "Chickens and cockerels were considered to be symbols of protection and good luck; in folklore, they were particularly associated with the sunrise, daylight, and spring. Consequently, they were considered potent protection against the dangers that came with darkness and winter."
I love her! The rocks sewn inside are from a hike we took on a a trip upstate, the filling was a holiday gift from my in-laws, and I started working on the project while on a family trip out east on Long Island.
@Stephanie in Brooklyn, So many fun memories all in one door stop! Love it!!!
Hi Stephanie, I applaud you for enjoying spreadsheets. I do envy people who are good with numbers! Also, it is great to read about people who have well paid jobs and still enjoy a frugal lifestyle. If only to show that doing things that make a person happy do not necessarily have to break the bank. Good for you!
Good morning everyone! Kristin asked: "Do you ever miss suburban living? I ask because I’ve always lived in the suburbs, with lots of trees around, and I wonder if I’d miss all that green if I lived in a city." I wouldn't say that I miss suburban living, but sometimes there are aspects of city life (like neighbors in my apartment building who share an interior wall) that are extremely frustrating). Growing up I always longed to be able to walk to stores, but the closest things in my neighborhood were more than a mile away and there were no sidewalks so it wasn't very safe to walk (or even bike ride, really). Later in life I realized, oh, I like to walk places, maybe I want to live in a city! My first two years in NYC I lived in Manhattan and was not near Central Park, but after I finished grad school and moved to Brooklyn, I purposefully chose a neighborhood near Prospect Park which is massive and gorgeous, and the streets where I love do have lots of trees in the strip between the sidewalk and the street which makes a huge difference. We also have a membership to the Brooklyn Botanic Garden which I highly recommend to visitors 🙂
@Stephanie in Brooklyn, Chiming in to respond to Kristen's question too - I grew up in a California suburb and have been living in NYC for over a decade. I would say that there was far less green in CA than we have now in NYC (I live right next to Morningside Park and Central Park). It probably depends on the kind of suburb you live in (we were in a beach town in Southern CA) and which part of the city!
@Stephanie in Brooklyn, I live in a suburban area that I can walk to the grocery store, coffee shop, our church, several of my friends houses, our favorite frozen yogurt place, our dentist, the library and our pharmacy! I love having a home with a yard and parks nearby, but also having the ability to walk to the places I most frequently go. I feel like I have the best of both worlds!
Hi, Stephanie! I also once worked at a place where the management practically rubbed their hands in glee when employees bought a house, got married, or had a child because they figured the hooks were set deep. It was rather scary to see.
I am definitely checking out the gift card tip. And your dog is so lovely. Standard poodles are the best.
Good for you learning how to groom your Poodle! Not only is it cheaper but it can really be detrimental to their health if you can't get them groomed regularly (thinking about all the groomers who were shut down during lockdowns).
Great post. Very interesting. Thanks for sharing.
I have to admit that at times I forget that people can be happy in the city. To me the city life looks horribly cramped, chaotic, unsafe and superficial. But that's coming from the perspective of someone who has lived in small towns and the country his whole life and different people like different things.
It's interesting to see how one can be frugal in a decidedly unfrugal place like NYC.
I am with you on linen sheets. I tried to convince my wife to get some from the L.L. Bean Outlet but she said no. Oh well. It's going to be winter soon so they'd be put away anyway.
@Battra92, I really get what you're saying. I first moved to NYC in August 2004 for grad school. New York was actually my least-favorite option of places for grad school, but I was determined to attend the best school I could get into, so to NYC I went. I went home to my parents' home for Thanksgiving, and at the end of the lovely long weekend I took Amtrak back from DC, then transferred over to the subway. I dragged my suitcase up the subway stairs and was just blasted with the grossest smell from some oozing garbage bags on the sidewalk, and I promptly burst into tears. Some people like the nightlife in a city but I am no party animal, and it took me a little time to figure out "my" NYC.
In all my years here, I very have rarely felt unsafe in New York. There are usually other people around, and that makes me feel safer. The biggest hazard I typically encounter is garbage on the sidewalk, which my dog will snarf up if we're not watchful enough (and then the dog has stomach problems later). Why does he want to eat things that aren't food???
Hi Stephanie,
I was glad to read that you are a big proponent of generous charitable giving, as well as frugal-ish, environmentally friendly living. I think it's a great combination.
It was fun to read your "interview". We are empty nesters that have stuck to our mostly frugal ways as our financial circumstances have improved. It's second nature and good for the Earth.
That tip of banking your raises is spot-on. Thanks for sharing your interesting lifestyle, Stephanie! I’m blown away by that view from your office window - in part by the density, but also how the skating rink is like a jewel in a big, bristling setting. I bet it looks cool when the skaters come out. I also enjoyed your chicken doorstop. Not what I would expect in a big city apartment! And beautiful knitting.
Stephanie, have you thought about going into public policy? I find that people interested in finance are also very interested in public policy, and that could probably be more satisfying to you than finance. A friend of mine who'd been a Wall Streeter just graduated from Woodrow Wilson (at Princeton) and I also have several friends who went to the Kennedy School (at Harvard). It's a very interesting career.
I love Prospect Park too. My daughter used to go to Pratt and we hung out there very often.
Stephanie--that doorstop! You have some serious knitting chops! I enjoy knitting but I fall in the category of early intermediate. I have a lot of appreciation for people like you who have taken it to a more advanced level. These days I seem to prefer patterns with lots of repetition--it has a soothing quality--rather than ones where I have to actually think! 😉
Add me to the list of people who are impressed with your parallel parking skills. I occasionally have to parallel park for work but I tend to search for a space with a big "air cushion" (which I'm sure is easier to do at a city in the midwest vs any of the large cities where you have lived).
I'm glad you participated. I think frugality is a helpful tool in anyone's toolkit, regardless of income level. I enjoy hearing about the diverse life experiences that Kristen has featured.
I love the variety of these interviews!
Yikes to that boss that wanted you tied into an expensive mortgage because they thought that would keep you at that job. That's pretty icky.
I'm also not a cosmetics person - in general, I don't like the way it feels to have a full face of makeup, and I'm too lazy to be washing that all off every single night! It's nice to get to the adult stage of saying "Cool, that's just not for me." about things like that.
I am always amazed when I learn of a career that I had never heard of before. Your job is so unusual, it was very interesting to hear about it. Thanks for writing your profile for us.
I enjoyed this one so much because I feel like we are living in sort of alternate lives. I'm 41 and live in NYC also but have two kids. While I am naturally frugal my husband is not and we have definitely seen a great deal of personal 'inflation' as our incomes have grown. We recently changed apts which resulted in about a 3X monthly increase, but I have to say, it's been totally worth it for the kids. Your profile is making me want to try my hand at vermicomposting again! I did this briefly when I lived in Portland OR several years ago...
Nice to meet you!
I lived in San Francisco for a few years and being able to walk to everything (dentist, groceries, library etc) and ride my bike to work was definitely my favorite part of living in a city!
Nice to meet you Stephanie!
Hi Stephanie! This was so much fun to read. Thanks for including a picture of yourself ... you're very pretty. When I was a kid I read A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, and anytime I hear of someone living there I think of Francie. I bet it's an exciting place to be. Thank you for the glimpse into your life!
How fun to meet another knitter!! And how wonderful that your hubby knits too!
I must admit I thought I had knit everything so far (except a swimsuit) but the doorstop is something I haven't done!
I showcase my knitted projects on Saturdays on Instagram too!!
Xoxo
Jodie
www jtouchofstyle.com
Stephanie, your life sounds so interesting and Oluffa is fabulous! It is a pleasure to meet you and hear your story 🙂
I just ordered a nail trimmer for dogs to learn how to do my dog's nails . Maybe I should have ordered a bite suit, too. ;o)
Hi Stephanie - Love your tip on banking any raises. I have always suggested this to my kids as they grew into adults with careers - it really pays off in the long run. That, and contributing to retirement accounts as early as possible - these things set a person up for a financially strong retirement.
My son and his wife live in Brooklyn and love it. I haven't been out there to see them yet. They moved just before the pandemic started so travel keeps getting put off. But soon!