Meet a Frugal Girl Reader | Rose
A few weeks ago, there was a discussion in the comments of a Meet a Reader post where Rose was saying she's not naturally frugal, and that it would be fun to hear from a reader like herself.
So, I emailed and asked if she'd like to be featured, and she said yes!
1. Tell us a little about yourself
I’m 55, a real estate blogger and high-tech editor and writer. I live in Montauk, New York, a town in the famous Hamptons. My family has deep roots here and we’ve never been rich.
My two children, a boy who is 26 and a girl who is 24, are currently living with me, going to college remotely. Yes, they’re taking the scenic route through school.
We also have two barky hound dogs and a cat with RBF.
I’m currently trying to sell my wonderful house overlooking the ocean to downsize and simplify life.
2. How long have you been reading The Frugal Girl?
A long time, at least ten years. I swear my mind, which I used to compare to a laser beam, is now more like a flickering flashlight with dying batteries. Sheesh!
I love Kristen’s calmness and matter of factness, and lately her emphasis on thankfulness and gratitude really resonate with me.
3. How did you get interested in saving money?
I am not naturally frugal. I grew up as the child of an NYPD officer and a housewife on Long Island; there were four of us kids and my parents have champagne tastes.
I often compare my childhood to the short story “The Rocking Horse Winner”: “there must be more money, there must be more money.”
I grew up thinking that no matter what, I’d make a lot of money as an adult and never have to worry.
Well, in many ways it came true. In the late 1980s, despite my being a history major at a Seven Sisters college, I became interested in computers and networking. This eventually led to a job in the tech industry in the 1990s, which proved to be extremely lucrative via stock options.
But all good things come to an end. I loved our upper middle class suburban life, but my husband had a midlife crisis and walked out on us in 2013. I thought we were happy.
We—the kids and I—have never recovered from the shock. I had to sell many of our possessions just to keep ourselves going.
However, things are on an upswing for us and I’m proud to say I’ve (almost) gotten both my children through good college educations virtually on my own, and they’ll have no college debt.
3. What’s the “why” behind your money-saving efforts?
I want to stop worrying. I’ve had the past bunch of years on high alert, with all kinds of family, financial, legal, and career disasters, and I want to be more serene. Like Kristen!
(Note from Kristen: just so you all know: I am not always serene and I definitely do find myself worrying sometimes! )
Once my house sells, I can buy a smaller place with cash and have a tidy sum for retirement. That said, a “smaller place” here is north of $1M. Sigh.
Reading about frugality on blogs gives me a soothing feeling, almost as if I were actually frugal!
5. What’s your best frugal win?
Buying an antique clock for $2000 at auction that’s worth about $30,000. That’s just me having an educated eye and getting lucky, really.
Buying my house at just the right time: it’s now worth ten times what I paid for it in 1999.
6. What’s a dumb money mistake you’ve made?
I’m not sure I have made many. I’ve done some things that I’m not crazy about, such as emptying my 401K account, but at the time it was necessary to survive.
I do buy stupid things I don’t need now and then (and by “now and then” I mean “quite often in this pandemic because I’m bored and stressed”).
I was in the hospital in November for a week with Covid, and my mother, in a nursing home, has had Covid twice and a serious operation once in the past year. And I haven’t been able to see her
I can’t Zoom or anything like that because the cellphone I pay for her “doesn’t work” and though I’ve asked nurses there to help, they won’t.
If I could see her, I could fix the cellphone. I have to stop writing about this because I’m so frustrated with the situation. But yeah, I get annoyed and frustrated easily and buy myself something I don’t need to relieve tension.
I do, however, almost always make a good dinner from scratch every night. I will also mention that some FG recipes, such as the red sauce chicken enchiladas, have become family favorites.
7. What’s one thing you splurge on?
Antiques—I’m a ferocious collector—and self care. Twice a year I get Botox on my forehead to erase my constant angry-frown-line-squint—which I hate—and two or three times a year I get a massage.
Massages here are so expensive I don’t treat myself often enough, although I have fibromyalgia and they do me a lot of good physically.
8. What’s one thing you aren’t remotely tempted to splurge on?
Flashy cars.
My old and sensible Toyota Camry is, I joke, the Worst Car in the Hamptons (even my cleaning lady drives a better car) but it gets me where I need to go. If the memoir I’m working on is a bestseller, however, you better believe I’m buying a 1960s aqua Mustang.
Organic produce is another thing. I am not at all convinced they make an appreciable difference in one’s health. I think that’s magical thinking. I do prefer to buy more humanely raised animal products as I’m an animal lover.
9. If $1000 was dropped into your lap today, what would you do with it?
Put it towards my son’s LASIK. He’s dying for it and it’s something I want to do for him.
10. Share a frugal tip with other Frugal Girl readers
You would be surprised what you can fix yourself around the house with Youtube videos! I am the worst, most helpless stumblebum when it comes to practical skills, but I learned to re-light my gas hot water heater myself, drill holes in ceramic tile to install a shower curtain rod (after I did it, I ran around the house yelling, “I AM THE CHAMPION, MY FRIENDS”), fix appliances, and so on.
(Yes, Rose!! You don't need whiskers to do that. -Kristen)
I always fix my own computers and phones, too. Google what is wrong, and there will be an answer out there.
And you can watch Youtube videos as many times as you like while you try to figure out what to do and no one will be the wiser.
As for parts for appliances, they’re widely available online too. I even figured out a replacement for my 1959 Westinghouse electric range oven unit by myself. (Hey, it’s aqua colored. I am biased.) If I can do it, I assure you, quite literally anyone can.
____________
Rose! Thanks so much for answering the questions and for sharing pictures. It was fun to get to know you better.
And I hope you get to see your mom, at least via Zoom, soon.
Readers, if you have questions or comments for Rose, leave 'em here! I'm sure she will be by to read and respond.
Hi Rose! That photo of your cat, after your comment, made me laugh.
You may not think of yourself as serene (I doubt many people are, under their calm exteriors), but there is no doubt you are a survivor. It's hard to be both. 🙂
Thanks!
Hi Rose! Greetings from a not-frugal sister here. I read this blog for inspiration and because I love the writing. My follow-through on actual frugality is not great. Thanks for sharing!
Hello, Rose! I think you're far more frugal than you give yourself credit for, especially with all the challenges you've faced over the years. You come across as an incredibly fun, thoughtful, and determined person. It's so nice to "meet" you!
Re: your comments about downsizing, one of the featured photos was of your enviable guesthouse kitchen. Would it be possible for you to move to that house and sell your larger/main residence? That way, you'd still have your view and your beach!
PS--I just want to say how much I **LOVE** your kitchen! Your gorgeous stove was well-worth saving, and you are a fix-it champion. Our 1940s Philco fridge is our home's pride and joy, so we share your bias. 🙂
I am thinking about selling the guesthouse to the people who live behind me. They offered to buy it a while ago. Part of the problem is that the housing market is so tight here. There is, right now, literally nowhere for me to move to in this town.
Hi Rose,
Your spunk and sharp-wit made me laugh. I believe we are both more frugal than acknowledged. From disliking the very word, I now see frugality as every save a win. Your job also intrigues me. I wrote a children’s book and would love some publishing tips. Could diversifying skills (side hustles) be considered frugal, if a dollar made is a potential dollar saved? Thank you for brightening my day!
Rose, I love your sense of humor. I'm sure it's helped you get over many of life's bumps. I think you have risen to the challenge of learning to be more frugal out of necessity. Keep hanging in there. I feel your pain with not being able to connect in person with your mom and not getting the help you need from the staff. Frustrating doesn't even begin to describe how that feels. Keep us posted on your journey in future comments!
Hi Rose!
I loved reading your post. It’s nice to hear someone who is admittedly not perfectly frugal! Sometimes I feel guilty that I don’t do things “right” which is silly because there’s no right or wrong way to live. But it sounds like you’re doing great things!
I love your kitchen!!
I feel so sad you haven’t been able to see your mom. Is there anyway you could go to the nursing home and they’d bring the phone out to you for you to fix it?? That makes me so sad.
All the best to you and your journey!!
If I did, I can guarantee the phone wouldn't be charged. SIGH. It's also a two hour drive away. Not ideal, but as my sister likes to remind me, I chose to move here to the back of beyond.
It’s nice to meet you, Rose. I understand your love of antiques and vintage. As with people, things with a history and character can be much more interesting. I find that buying these older items can be really frugal too. When I am tired of an item, I always sell it for more than I paid for it. BTW, I am impressed by your collection of Cornishware.
I hope that you’ll find a way to see your mom soon. That pulls at my heart strings. Never, ever give up.
One more thing — I think you are frugal. Frugality looks different on everyone, because we are all on our own paths. We all value different things. We all have different challenges. You cook dinner from scratch every night. You have gotten your kids through college without debt. You fix things yourself. These are all frugal things.
Thanks!
Yes! Vintage is frugal often (if you look in the right places). And vintage is so much fun!
Nice to meet you Rose. You should be so proud of yourself. I had no idea there were
aqua mustangs out there. That must be something. On my first trip to the Hamptons I saw so many Jaguars I bought stock in Jaguar. Good luck to you. I think your massages might be tax deductible because they are for health purposes.
Tha Hamptons is ridiculous in the summer. The only thing I notice now are the really amazing supercars, like a McLaren, or a really cool vintage car. Link to dream car: https://i.pinimg.com/originals/c6/79/67/c679672c33291635b0638d043461bfe4.jpg
My dream car as well! However, my color is the powder blue!
That's a beautiful car! I hope you get to purchase one soon.
Hi Rose, thank you for sharing your story. Like you I'm not frugal naturally, I appreciate your honesty and letting us peek into your life.
I share the frustrations of having elderly parents that can't work technology 🙁
Love this!!!
Hi Rose,
I really enjoyed reading your post. I think our upbringings were similar. My parents always lived beyond their means and didn't see any issues with going to the bank for yet another loan. I laughed at the “The Rocking Horse Winner” reference. My husband and I often say that my family is always chanting “there must be more money, there must be more money.” Growing up that way has really influenced me to try to be a good steward of our money. We've had plenty of "frugal fails" and we spend money on things we want that others would not consider frugal. But we put both kids through college debt free, paid for our daughter's wedding without going into debt or taking money out of savings, and we're about to pay off our house. So compared to how I grew up, we are doing pretty well.
I totally feel your pain about the nursing home not helping with your Mom's cell phone. My Mom has severe dementia and the last facility she was in the nurses refused to help her keep her cell phone charged. And there was not a phone in the room so we our communications with her were basically cut off. It was a scary and sad situation for Mom. We have moved her to another facility that is a little more helpful in that regard. I hope you get to visit your mom soon.
I tried so hard in later years to help my parents be good stewards of their money, even getting an elder lawyer to talk to them, but they refused to do anything. Sigh. What can you do, if your parents are in their right minds? Oh well. Other than that they are/were great parents and I feel lucky to have had them.
I loved reading today's guest post. I also do not live a truly frugal lifestyle and am more aligned with Rose. However, I LOVE this blog and the tips I get from it.
What a fun read! And I enjoyed your pictures. Thanks for sharing.
I enjoyed this immensely! It is a humble reminder that everyone's frugal journey can be different.
Rock on Rose!
`I loved reading about Rose!! I love that she's so real! 🙂
I love Rose's idea of buying a 60's mustang in aqua! 🙂 I have a friend who purchased her dream vintage scooter in aqua! I believe woman are quite resourceful. When we go through difficult times, we more often than not find our sails and wings! Thanks for sharing Rose with us, and God bless you Rose! 🙂
I love the front view from the house!
Cheryl
Thank you. It's honestly magical to live in a little old (well, 1920) cottage overlooking the ocean. Even during the winter when the ocean is raging and the fierce wind is whipping off the Atlantic.
I love the beach when the ocean is roiling and raging, It is beautiful in its own way. The light is different somehow. There are few things as powerful as the sea or as inspiring. You are fortunate to enjoy from the shelter of your home.
What a refreshing post! I’m not a naturally frugal person either, but this is a perfect representation of how frugal can look different for everyone. We’re all a work in progress. Praying you get to see your mother soon, Rose!
You sound frugal to me! Thanks for sharing your story. You have grit and guts.
Rose, it's so nice to meet you. You are frugal, just a slightly different flavor, and especially so for how you were raised and where you live. You rock!
I love your Cornish ware collection with the funny labels and your cat could be my spirit animals. I look a lot like that at my desk, suffering through yet another Zoom meeting. 😀
My friend sent me a meme yesterday that said, "Cats always look at you as though you just asked them for a ride to the airport."
So true!! 🙂 I loved your interview, Rose, and your sense of humor. Thanks for sharing. 🙂
Very much enjoyed meeting Rose. Congratulations on raising college kids on your own. That's no small feat and doing it with no debt will give them so many more options in the near future as to living choices and even what salary range they will be able to accept for the job they truly desire. The student loan burden is very limiting to many when trying to establish their own household. I've also been a "not so frugal" reader for years. The recipes attracted me first and the easy, stress-free tips for slimming down a budget are great for anyone. I feel like I'm catching up with an old friend when I take a break to read the blog. Each time I do, I am reminded to be grateful for the many frugal and non-frugal areas of my life.
My son is going to work on Wall Street. $$$$. My daughter is a textile artist. What's the opposite of a dollar bill sign? Siiiiiiiiiigh. Ha. She truly loves what she does, though. (She is a computer genius. I tried so so hard to get her into the tech industry, but nope, art.)
Enjoyed the post. But, I don't enjoy or care for the "even my cleaning lady" drives a better car, as if she is some how less than those of us who USE the service of a cleaner.
"Even her..." just sounds quite rude and that part really turned me off. Something to think about.
Sorry. She does drive a BMW, though! Also she is my good friend and we joke about my crummy car. She worked when I was renting out my house, between tenants. I just couldn't stand to clean up after strangers and she absolutely loves cleaning, so it works out for her.
It is very hard, especially for those of us who don't write on a regular basis, to express ourselves in a manner that truly conveys our intentions. I try to always put the best spin on someone's words, especially if I don't know them in person. Not being able to hear the nuances of speech makes it difficult to get if someone is speaking in a condescending way. By trying to take what was said in the most positive way possible, it helps me remember to not take offense so easily and show others grace. Hope it helps.
That is so, so true.
In the early 2000s, I joined a message board for young moms and spend many years writing there before I started blogging. I have often thought that those years on the message boards were such a gift because they helped me learn so much about communicating in writing on the internet.
My blog would be so different than it is without the benefit of those early years, because you're right, communicating with strangers on the internet is such a different thing than communicating in person.
Also, if I write something, you all know me pretty well and have some context that helps interpret what I say. But the readers who are answering these questions are rather anonymous in other ways, so yeah, I think it's good to err on the side of interpreting things in a positive light.
To be honest though, I am a professional writer and write every day, so I have no excuse! Ha. I guess it just didn't occur to me that people might think I was a snob. I'm so not. Heck, my dad was born on Welfare Island, New York City. True story. It was the hospital for the indigent at the time--now it's called Roosevelt Island. And my sister jokes that you can see our ancestors in the film of Gangs of New York.
It’s important to be aware of how things are communicated. It’s ok to be held accountable. There is only really one way to read that, and as a cleaning person, it bothered me too. Why wouldn’t we have nicer cars some times? Just sounded inappropriate. Thanks for sharing.
Rose - Your have the cutest pets on the planet!
About your Mom's cell phone issue - could you contact the facility's social worker to help work on a plan for you to re-establish communication? Nurses have borne a very heavy burden during this tragic pandemic & are likely stretched to their max. As a former social worker in health care institutions, it was amazing to see what challenges would arise but it was professionally gratifying to be able to make a difference. Perhaps you could strategize with the social worker to locate the phone & charger in order for the phone to be charged & available @ an agreed upon day & time when you could make the trip & they could deliver it to you outside to work your magic. The issue of re-establishing communication is critically important for your Mom's emotional health & her family as well, so this would be a vital problem solving role for the social worker. Good luck!
Oh, I do talk to my mother on the phone. She uses an in-room landline. I'd just like to see her, is all. You'd think with both of us having had Covid they'd let me in the nursing home, but rules are rules.
If you are able to get a vaccine, will the rules change? I do hope so!
I assume so. My mom's already been vaccinated.
Oh, good! That's something hopeful to look forward to, then.
Why would having covid mean you can come in? You can still carry and contract again
Oh and thanks about the pets. Betsy, the yellow coonhound, is a rescue from Arkansas. She was found looking like a skeleton with a gunshot wound. Now she's a Hamptons dog. She is the sweetest, nicest, friendliest thing on the planet.
Michigan may be ahead of some states in terms of vaccinations ... what I have noticed is that once the facility residents have gotten beyond the 2 week period after the second vaccination, when they are deemed fully effective, the ability to visit parents starts slowly opening up. It varies per state, county health department, and facility, but yes, we are slowly seeing improvement in this area. If you continue to have problems with the place she is at, you could consider contacting the ombudsman for help. It's worth a shot.
Yes, your Coonhound is adorable, rivaling your cat with RBF.
There were no landlines when my Mom was in a facility but they did have a special traveling cell that had a camera. Seeing your Mom would take the communication to another level. I would recommend asking the facility's social worker for assistance. They have highly developed problem-solving skills for complex situations & in fact, assisting with your issue would be part of their job description.
Thanks, folks. If Mom could get her cell working, for instance, she could watch her pastor on Youtube for weekly church. That would be a huge comfort to her.
Hi, Rose, glad to meet you!
You may not be naturally frugal, but you are certainly moving in the right direction, doing your own handiwork and cooking at home, while putting your kids through college with no debt. Way to go! Frugality is a skill that can be learned, and you proved it.
As a teen in the 70's, I got to drive my late grandfather's 1966 lemon yellow Mustang that my dad had bought from my grandfather's estate. My grandfather was in his late 70's when he bought it. Don't give up on that aqua Mustang!
We had a yellow Mustang when I was small. Which is simply not the most practical car for a family with four children. Three of us in the back, the baby on Mom's lap in the front. What's a car seat?? Then we all had to fight over who had to sit in the middle, on the "hump." Eventually even my parents realized this wasn't exactly a family car and sold it for some 70s monstrosity.
Hi Rose! I just wanted to say that your guest house kitchen is a dream come true. Hubba hubba!! In my wildest dreams, that would be my kitchen!! Thanks for sharing that picture, and your story. You sound so neat!! 🙂
Hi Rose,
I loved reading about you and your family! Your cat is too cute. I love the expression. Kudos to you on all you have done for your children. Blessings ❤️
Hi Rose, my parents are from NY, I was born in Long Island , however, we moved to S. Florida when I was 3. Have you ever thought of leaving NY and moving somewhere less expensive? My parents left NY because they could not deal with the cold weather anymore. My spouse is law enforcement and has about a year left. We're in SoCal, however, we plan on moving to Fl because 1. no tax on pensions 2. we love the gulf coast and 3. we can get a lot of land for our dogs for a lot less $$. Btw, I recently had botox( I'm 54) and I'm hooked.
I can't. My whole family is here, all my friends, and so on. If I were married, it might be different. I also assume both my children will be in NYC for the future, too, as my son is planning a Wall Street career and my daughter wants to work in textile arts. My son is talking about a possible move to Southeast Asia at some point--he studied in Hong Kong and loves the area--but I don't think he'd move there permanently.
North Carolina is also a very popular area for Long Island transplants.
What fun. I agree with Rose, it's fun to hear from people living in different parts of the country from different walks of life. I really think we can't compare our own situations to others. We just take what we learn from each other & apply it where we can. Then improve our own situation as we're able to.
I'm not super frugal either myself. I'm an empty nester who lived the frugal years & now we're reaping the rewards through an easier lifestyle. We've been mortgage free for 21 years, debt free for 15 years. It's such a different life once you get past the debt.
Gotta give a shout out to Rose...your forehead looks AMAZING! Kinda jealous; I'm scared to use Botox, but your smooth skin is inspiring. I know, I know, totally not frugal. I appreciate that you are sharing that part of your life to a group of strangers from all over the world. Rock on, girl!
Seriously, try it! It's great. Just one injection a couple times a year doesn't turn you into one of those Hollywood actresses who can't move their face! It makes me feel a lot better about myself.
oh my goodness, yes, your skin looks "mahvelous!" -- you go!
Thank you, Rose! Awesome read. Nothing wrong with Botox, if it makes you feel good. My splurge is a deep tissue massage.
Hi Rose!
I love that guest house kitchen, do you have a link to your house for sale you would be willing to share?
Meaghan
Thanks for the story Rose, read it with a smile on my face,. Being a swedish man from the northern territories I dont care about my wrinkles,
Gosh, super neat to read. These peeks inside others' lives — just little bits of spectating — so interesting. Normal (so to speak) people are so much more interesting than celebrities, and you are no exception.
Hi Rose,
I think you are selling yourself short by saying you are not frugal. Maybe I interpret it differently than others, but I don't think frugality means that you never spend money. To me, it means that you are intentional about how you use your money. You think of it as both an asset (that is not limitless) and a tool to help you achieve your goals. From reading what you have posted, it sounds like you do exactly that with your money, both at times when you had no choice as well as now while you plan your future and help your children plan theirs. I think you can definitely call yourself frugal, and if you just need permission, I grant it!
About your mom's phone. . .could you perhaps mail her a self-addressed stamped padded envelope and ask her to mail the whole shebang (charger included) to you so that you can fix it and mail it back to her? I don't know if that would help, but if it did, it would be well worth the cost of postage! (Though you might consider using UPS or Fedex instead of the mail depending on the current delivery speed in your area.) Even if this plan didn't work, you could then say to the director of her facility, "Look, this is what I have done so far. How else can we work together to solve this problem?" Just an inside-the-box suggestion. 😉
PS What do you keep in the canister labeled "abnormal?" Tee-hee!
Ha, nothing! It's a takeoff from Young Frankenstein, the movie. My sister gave it to me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C9Pw0xX4DXI
The fish dripping jar is super rare, and also kind of disgusting to think about. It's my favorite piece.
Hello, Rose. I love that kitty pic (: I feel like our life is somewhat similar, money-wise. I am frugal where I want to be, spendy in other places. I have discovered that buying something with price foremost in mind usually doesn't pan out. You get what you pay for. It all evens out. I, too, will likely drive my car until the wheels fall off, or until I sell it to one of my kids. And I'm not riding that organic train, either. Nice to meet you!
You too!
Hi Rose,
It was great to read your story. Frugal is a varied and many splendored thing. Your frugal is uniquely yours.
Love your guest house. Consider living in the guest house and renting out the main house?
Education wise I am the opposite, I took a dual Math/Comp Sci major and wanted a History major. I did take every history class I could fit.
I had many issues with the long term care facility when my Mom was alive. I totally agree that the social worker is a first line great resource, but sometimes your elder attorney can be your best friend when you have exhausted other means. Money I spent on my wonderful elder law attorney was some of the best money I ever spent. She was my LTC frustration medication. I know the staff is busy but an arrangement can be made.
Peace
Thanks. For years and years now, I've lived in the guest house and rented the main house. I'm just....tired of it. Renting via Airbnb/Vrbo is a good bit of effort, although I also made good money. I'm now at a point where I want a simpler life, one where I don't have people on Friday night panicking because they can't figure out why the TV is dark (er, you have to turn on the cable box, too?).
I'm honestly not sure about anything financially any more. Which is anathema to my Type A personality. Finishing my memoir (hi, please buy it when it's published!) is my number one priority right now, since my children are more or less set, thank goodness.
This has been so much fun. I don't usually get to blather on about myself for so long, so thanks, Kristen!
I’ll definitely buy your memoir when it’s available, just based on your interesting anecdotes and writing style here! Wasn’t sure if it was a serious statement or you were joking earlier.
I never heard about RBF before ... so funny. Your cat exemplifies it quite well in that photo. I’ve heard that one gets the face they deserve at 50, and I’ve always thought that was my problem, but I see how this ties in too!
I'm so glad you had fun! That's been the experience of other readers who have been featured too, and it makes me so happy.
Love the kitchen!! We decorated our Stateside kitchen with similar colors. Our stove is pink. The fridge was pink too, but had to be replaced until we can get it running right again.
I'm impressed with your kids finishing college without debt!
Nice to "meet" you, Rose. You live in a different world than I do, for sure. It's fun getting a glimpse of those who are different (because most of my friends are similar to me). . . The geography and lifestyle may be different, but we all have the same human struggles.
Rose: for someone who labels herself as not frugal, you seem to have accomplished a lot on very little, so I would not call you not frugal. Love the view from your house.
Rose you are a LI gem!!!! Loved reading about you. I grew up on LI, but live in Florida now with a lot of other LI’s. But I will be visiting shortly because I can get my vaccine! Thanks for keeping it real like Kristen.
PS I had to remove some exclamation points Kristen! LOL
What a kick to read this -- I will definitely buy your memoir! Really enjoyed hearing about your journey and your many frugal wins despite setbacks. I was giggling and LOLing throughout -- thanks for erasing my own RBF for a bit. I do hope you can figure out the situation with your mom soon. Wishing you all the best in your next phase and I hope we get to hear about it 😉
Thanks for sharing, Rose! You're guest kitchen is absolutely beautiful. I love the frugal tip you shared! Those are some awesome successes!
Loved this interview so much. I connected with your story on a lot of levels: educational history, age, family attitudes toward money. Thank you, Rose, for volunteering to speak from the vantage point of one who did not grow up in a frugal household and for whom any sort of frugality feels at best like third nature 😉 Looking forward to reading your memoir. Thank you, Kristen, for adding this weekly feature--I've truly enjoyed reading every one!
What a delightful post! I can relate to your recent hard times as well. It sounds like you're a survivor and are definitely on your way back up. I am too. 🙂
Thanks for sharing.
Really enjoy the meet a reader posts!
This one was especially Delia. Thanks Rose and Kristen
delightful... autocorrect
This has been my very favourite reader interview. Thank you for featuring Rose, Kristen, and Rose, I love your sense of humour, your grit and resilience. And I thought you communicated just fine about the car/ cleaning lady. South Africans don't have very many "intention" issues with language because there are 11 official languages here and we give each other lots of grace.
I too enjoyed reading your interview. Thank you, Rose! And the comments are as encouraging as ever - I love how Kristen's readers build each other up! Great community and great job, Kristen!
You are a champion Rose!
Rose, it was a joy to read your thoughts this morning! I hope you get to see your mom soon, and that someone will fix her phone for her. Thank you for sharing with us!
Rose,
I am another nonfrugal reader of Frugal Girl! I have also been reading for around 10 years. I love Kristen's great attitude and practical advice! I work fulltime and have never been much of a cook. Kristen has taught me to try to do more on my own. I have been making my own yogurt for the last 5 years after reading a blog of Kristen's (yes, it is easy!). And, yes, I have been learning to do more myself using YouTube videos. Have a great day! Susan from Los Angeles
Thanks, everyone. I'm on deadline today so I can't respond individually to all commenters, although I'd like to.
Regarding my memoir, I applied for a fellowship at the local university where you spend a year intensively finishing your book--I'll know in two weeks whether I've been accepted. It's a little stressful because they get hundreds of requests for about 10 places. Eek! But fingers crossed.
Well--they couldn't find a place for me. WOMP WOMP. Though they love my book, it is just too far out of their usual wheelhouse--a memoir rather than a novel, etc.
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that! Don't give up. <3
I won't! My friend, who is the organizer, sent me specifics of a friend of hers who does editorial coaching. I am going to do it! It's $500 nonfrugal dollars a month, but I am determined to see this through.
Aaaand you know you, Kristen, and all the readers, will get a thank you in the acknowledgements. <3
I think Rose will find happiness when she decides she has enough - when she decides she has enough money (in fact, she's RICH) and that she's enough on her own (and is giving her ex husband way too much power over her letting her affect her this many years later).
"My family has deep roots here and we’ve never been rich." Yes, by American standards and global standards, you're loaded. You were rich back while working in tech. Now you have a waterfront home in the Hamptons with a guest house, and your plan is to buy a $1 million + house in cash next. And then there's paid-for college for the kids, botox, massages, antiques, etc, etc. All of those are fine! But realize you are drowning in riches and privilege. It'll make you happier in your own skin, calmer, and a more content person.
Of course you're right. But when my bank card doesn't go through when I'm checking out groceries, having a $$$$ house doesn't help much. I've gone through a lot since my ex left--you name it--death, illness, legal troubles, both my children had severe issues, poverty--ha, driving frantically to the electric company to avoid a turnoff, having my car repossessed--my father showed up one day to visit and said, "Where's the car?"--oh, man. Suing my ex--it's been one thing after another so I always feel on high alert, not rich and full of privilege. I hope one day soon I'll feel more secure.
I loved reading this feature with Rose!
Like you, I am not naturally frugal. I love the way one of the commenters used the word intentional - I think that is a great way to be frugal, in a sense. I would say that describes my approach, my husband and I really do try to be very intentional with our money and that often has us making decisions that most would not think are frugal. But it works for us!
Rose: Loved your post! Honest and humorous.
Im so glad to read a post from someone in the ny area bc it sometimes feels impossible to be frugal here. We live in NYC and have to stay in the area for both my and my husbands careers. Everything is so expensive - daycare for two can range from $50-75k. Our apt is somehow over $1M but its tiny and falling apart. I dont think people living in other parts of the country can really understand.
Alicr: You are right that I don't really understand, (always lived in smallish towns in the Midwest). However, if I try to scale your spending in comparison to mine, it helps me understand a bit more. You have a certain amount of salary, and rent will take a certain portion of that, and daycare another chunk, and so on. My family salaries might be much lower, and housing much lower, yet proportionately, we both have to work with what we have and need. It is difficult to uproot from (hopefully very fulfilling!) careers, family, friends, and what is familiar.
I also understand how it can be frustrating to save a few pennies here and there, which still seem to make no difference in the big picture. Especially if no one else seems to be doing so.
You are so funny Rose!! I hope your book is a success and you can thoroughly enjoy retirement and lots of massages.