Is it frugal to get cheap treats?
A reader left this comment on last week's Five Frugal Things post:
I purchased my 6th prescription from Vons and received a $50 grocery gift card. Although since we used the money to buy a special treat, maybe it is not frugal after all? (We bought an expensive bottle of wine for our anniversary instead of stocking the pantry.)
Basically, I think this reader is wondering if things are only frugal when they add dollars to your bank account and make a difference in your bottom line.
I thought this was worth addressing because to me, frugality is about living a beautiful, rich life while spending less.
So, there are a lot of things I've done (and still do) that are less about reducing the actual bottom line of my budget and more about bringing some cheap joy into my life.
And yes, I do consider those things to still be frugal and worthwhile.
That's because while I am interested in saving money, I am not interested in living a miserable life just to save money.
The deprivation lifestyle is really not what I'm shooting for.
I want to eat delicious, beautiful meals.
I want my home to be comfy and inviting.
I want to wear clothes that look good.
I want to do fun things.
I want to go visit the people I love.
So sometimes, this means that I exercise my frugal skills to obtain nice-but-not-necessary things; things that make life richer and more enjoyable.
For instance, I might redeem my credit card rewards for airline miles instead of for grocery credits.
I might fill out a survey to get a free milkshake for one of my kids.
I sometimes take advantage of restaurant freebies/discounts to get a cheap meal out, even if that's still a little more expensive than eating at home.
I often redeem my Erie YourTurn rewards for Starbucks gift cards instead of something more practical, because then Zoe and I can stop and get a treat for free.
Also, lots of the work I've been doing to decorate my rental home could be put into the nice-but-not-necessary category.
Cheap/free decorating doesn't add dollars to my bank account, and if I wanted to go the deprivation route, I could just skip all the decorating and rehabbing and live with my rental as-is.
But that does not fit with the way I want to live! I like to be surrounded by beauty.
So, that's why I'm busy finding cheap and free ways to bring beauty into my rental home.
How can this apply to you?
Basically, I'm always thinking, "How could I make my life more wonderful without spending a bunch of money?"
And that question should work fine for you too, because the particular things that make your life more wonderful will be as unique to you.
Maybe you don't value the same things in life that I do...like, maybe you don't care that much about the aesthetics of your surroundings, but it IS very important for you to have lots of outdoor adventures in your life.
So you would not hunt for home decor freebies, but you would scope out discounts on zip-lining, or you'd find free places to hike.
Or maybe a life full of live entertainment is important to you, so you could spend time looking for free concerts, or volunteering to usher at events so you can watch for free.
And if you are like the reader whose comment inspired this post, you might look for ways to score a great bottle of wine for free.
Why does this matter? It helps your long game!
If you design a money-saving lifestyle that feels like deprivation to you, you might be able to stick with it for a short while.
But if you don't incorporate some things that bring you joy, you are gonna have such a tough time hanging in there for the long haul.
But if you figure out what it is that makes life feel rich to you and you make a point of finding frugal ways to make that stuff happen, you'll find it's way easier to stay on budget with a cheerful attitude. 🙂
And now I'm curious about how this question plays out in your life.
So, tell us: what joys and treats do you prioritize?
Basically, what luxuries do you make happen in a frugal way, like this reader's wine bottle?
This is an interesting post. Apologies for the long response. We recently discussed frugality with friends, who live a very basic life style based on the assumption that in the near future saved up pensions will not be available any longer to the people who contributed, nor that they will have any other kind of old age pension from the state. They save and invest and spend very very little - but they feel rich in having a home, healthcare, and food on their plate. They meet with loved ones and occasionally travel by car, but never long distance. They work part time, due to health reasons and spare time is their prime luxury.
My husband and I have well paid jobs and our lifestyle is very different from theirs. We never travel long distance either, but we buy imported foods like citrus fruit and avocado's. We eat more meat than they do. We (I) spend more money on clothes and home decoration. We buy more "stuff" than they do, based on "could this be an heirloom". Still if I compare our life with colleagues, we have a very modest lifestyle indeed.
So yes, what are you aiming for in your frugality?
I want security and stability, so we pay off our mortgage and save money.
I want to invest in our health so I go the gym and buy a variety of veg, nuts etc
I feel happy when I am surrounded by beauty and when I am inspired. I feel the dopamine kicking in when I see beautiful flowers or hear beautiful music. So we not only borrow but also buy from authors, musicians.
My strong wish is for a society that gives people their due, so I am prepared to spend more money on clothes, foods, jewelry that is not cheap due to exploitation. We give to charity, obviously.
I think we are very privileged that we can make those choices. We work full time jobs to do so. Our parents lived modestly, our grandparents knew deprivation. I wish for our children a world that can support them without exploitation of people, or of nature in its widest sense.
@J NL, I love your comment and your perspective. Thank you for sharing.
@J NL, so well said!
Kristen, you do an amazing job of helping your readers gain insight into themselves and their values….
I prioritize adventure in the form of travelling to different countries. Right now, we are in Portugal where my partner just finished attending a work conference. I use these conferences, which occur every two years, to plan a frugal vacation. His flight is paid for, and I use credit card points for mine. His food and our accommodations are paid for during the conference and we took the Lisbon Metro to get around that week. We are staying an extra week but are keeping costs down by staying in a hotel that is mostly frequented by Portuguese nationals and by eating at local restaurants (where the food is delicious and inexpensive). Our splurge is the rental car for this last week but we need it to access the places (we are now in the rural area of the country) with better prices. So far my only souvenirs are photos and memories but am looking for a small ceramic chicken to take home 😉
What a fun trip you are having! And good job using the credit card reward points; that's how I paid for Sonia and Zoe's flights to come to Wisconsin this week.
@kj, Isn't it great when you can tag along? My hubby has had a few sales meetings that I went with him to and his boss always made plans for the wives while the guys were at meetings. I usually skipped those but enjoyed my quiet time.
Once he had a meeting at Universal in Florida so the kids came too. We used airline points for the extra tickets, and we had the room. We may have had admission paid for to get into Universal.
I firmly believe that treats are important for frugal morale. While paying down my husband’s first hospital stay several years ago, we took a trip to Chicago to see our favorite European soccer team play on their summer tour. We bought the tickets before his medical emergency, and I saved for the trip by setting aside what had been my husband’s cigarette money—he had to quit smoking immediately on doctor’s orders. His cigarette money was already a part of our budget, so it worked perfectly. Every two week paycheck, I set aside $150 (I.e. a carton a week at $75 each) *and* made a payment on the medical bills. Could we have paid off the hospital a few months faster had we just cancelled the tickets and skipped the trip? Sure, but $*@)#*, had we earned that fun, especially after what we’d been through. We both deserved that victory lap, so to speak, and it remains a favorite memory. Treats aren’t just about pleasurable moments, but moments that affirm “Everything will be/is all right” when caught in a whirlwind. That moment to just breathe and be is priceless.
*The cigarette money has continued to go into savings ever since and is our travel/guilt-free fund.
Oh, that is such a good way to turn an unhealthy habit into something wonderful. Good for you guys!
@N, when I quit smoking I had an app that calculated my savings and I stashed that in an account for travel. It really helped with motivation! And shocking how fast it added up!
@N, the husband quit and the incentive was all the saved money. He purchased a pickup with that money, which we still have. It’s amazing how much cigarettes cost. But here is a funny, my uncle told me he quit when cigarettes went to 15 cents a pack. Today’s price would have really shocked him.
@N, That's awesome!
I had a friend who quit smoking cold turkey and bought land. She financed her purchase but her cigarette money was just about the monthly payment for the land. When she retired she sold that land and made a nice profit to bolster her retirement savings. Better health and a bigger retirement fund. Win! Win!
I love my crafting materials but a recent reassessment has me thinking I do not need any more craft stuff. For example I buy good quality yarn to work with. Any spend hours knitting or crocheting something with a yarn that sets me teeth on edge. This is special thing and requires much time and effort so I make sure I enjoy the task at hand.
For about a year I saved up my Swagbucks and Microsoft Rewards points to get Starbucks gift cards, which I added to my app and kept for our vacation this past April. Could I have used those points for groceries or other household essentials? Yup. Would it have been as much fun? Nope! On our vacation, we knew we could walk into Starbucks and get anything we wanted without having to think about cost. It was lovely. And, we didn't end up using all of my Starbucks gift cards during the vacation, so we've been able to treat ourselves multiple times since then.
I had to sit here for a minute, because I couldn't think of anything I regularly spend money on that would really be considered "luxury." But then it occurred to me that, as I've mentioned before, we live the way we do so that we have the greatest luxury of all: Time.
If my husband still worked full time as a lawyer, we would have a great deal more money. But if he worked full time as a lawyer, we would not be taking a family fishing excursion today just because we have to drive near a lake to pick up our son and the little ones want to go fishing.
He wouldn't have entire weekdays to devote to building a stone wall for my garden and helping my sons build a forge.
I wouldn't have an hour of quiet in the middle of the day while he takes all the kids to ride the horses.
I could go on forever, and that doesn't even take into account the improved mental and physical health that comes from having all that unencumbered time.
So I guess that's it: I have time because I don't have as much money, and that is a trade-off that I am more than willing to make.
Yep, that sounds like a very accurate answer for you!
I also think that you prioritize good food. If frugality meant eating ramen and canned pork n beans every day, you'd be miserable.
@Kristen, True. Though even ramen and cans of things wouldn't be as cheap as my own garden vegetables. At least, the way I garden. 🙂 Probably near-unlimited meat is our greatest luxury, although that is definitely an affordable one living as we do in beef cattle country.
It also occurred to me that many would consider the horses a luxury. They do come with some expenses--hay, fly spray, etc.--but even that is cheap for us for what it is, since they just live in an existing paddock in the backyard, we ride them on the road from our house, and all our saddles were given to us from friends. Benefit of living in the Land of Cattle and Horses.
@kristin @ going country, Both horse and pony were free, as well, given to us by people who didn't have kids to ride them anymore.
@kristin @ going country, while I'm not into fishing I would love the flexibility from a different lifestyle. I'm not so much tied to the grind as it is that my skills seem to work best in an office type environment. So even when I can work from home more it's not really the same as being to just head on out and do something fun.
@Battra92, It actually took literal years and re-locating to a new state for my husband to extricate himself from his office work, but figure out a way to continue making money from it on a part-time basis. He worked toward that specific goal for a long time, and it required us to be okay with inconsistent income, no benefits, and lower earnings. I don't think it's for everyone.
@kristin @ going country, I have just resigned from my job. My husband is fully retired. I plan to live even more frugaly off my savings until my pension kicks in. My will be having enough time,
too - time to take care of our household and my aging husband's needs minus the job related stress on my time and body, and also to allow my health to come first through time for ewxercise, cooking healthy meals, and getting thorough sleep after so many years of the exécutive fast track grand.
Very interesting post today. I love to hear others perspective on what it means to them to live a frugal lifestyle.
My husband and I both have well paid jobs and we live far below our means so we have the option to spend on things that are important to us. We love to travel and prior to Covid enjoyed visiting other countries. We also love to have our adult children join us on our trips, giving us the opportunity to spend time with them and give them the opportunity to see places that might not be within their budget. I do usually cash out credit card points to help offset the cost of travel and the rest comes out of the money I saved monthly for our adventures.
Being frugal in other parts of our lives also allows me to buy whatever groceries we want without worry. This freedom gives me great peace of mind.
I do spend money on "luxury" items that are not frugal, like expensive skin care products and makeup. I usually buy one nice handbag a year. I spend on these things because they make me happy and I have saved in other areas to offset the cost.
We have no debt (car and house are paid off), so we are mostly focused on saving for retirement these days.
@Beverly, I used to buy expensive beauty care items, but one day years ago as I was buying a expensive anti aging product a woman from Eastern Europe asked why I was buying that expensive product. She said she used organic coconut oil on her skin all over her body. Since her skin looked good I decided to try it.
She told me to go to Aldi and purchase a jar. So I did and never looked back. I feel I am putting something natural on my skin that gets absorbed into my body.
Also as an extra bonus I realized after several months I was no longer itching from my eczema and stopped that lotion also.
Just wanted to share since I have been so grateful to that woman for speaking up.
@karen, Coconut oil molecules are too big to be absorbed by the skin. The oil basically traps whatever's underneath it so for some people, it works great for dry skin; for other people, it's acne city.
@Rose, I agree. I've always had genetically dry, clear skin; however, skin health and skincare is an area I don't shy away from spending money. I tried coconut oil as an alternative to some of my more expensive products many years go and my skin (which was clear, smooth, and even) became an inflamed bumpy mess. What works for some doesn't work for others.
@Val C of LBC, I have tried cheaper products and things like coconut oil but they do not work well for my skin. I feel fortunate to be able to afford what does work for me and makes me happy.
@Beverly, same here!
@karen and Rose, I can’t stand the smell of coconut, so I use almond oil. I’m the daughter of a redhead (translation: If something can make me break out, it absolutely will, turned up to 11), and almond oil works splendidly on my skin. It’s also very inexpensive, and a little goes far. I’m still working through a bottle that I bought… two years ago?
@karen, I developed an allergy to coconut oil. I loved it. Great for hair too. I like rosehip seed oil.
@karen, This made me laugh because my family is from Eastern Europe and my grandmother slathered lard on her face every night and when I stayed with her she would make it put it on my face, too. Her pillows were encased in plastic with a pillow case over it, so every time you moved your head, you would hear the crinkling of the plastic. And every morning you had to put a new pillow case on and she ironed her linens so when she did the wash on Saturday, it was filled with pillow cases! I attended college near her and one summer I lived with her to save money and also help her---and she still bugged me until I gave in and put lard on my face! I am lucky she didn't try to save money by using bacon grease from the coffee can she kept on the stove all the time. How we did not die from the elderly, unrefrigerated bacon grease she fried our meals in, I will never know.
@Beverly, I too enjoy nice skincare products! I'm often writing in my Five Frugal Things about using up a sample or making sure I finish one product before ordering new ones, so I try to balance that a little.
My other luxury items are really nice dark chocolate (also fair trade and organic, because child slavery in the cocoa trade is a real issue) and buying "local," whether artisan stuff or farmer's market produce. I am not a big shopper but I do like to support the local community when possible. It gives me warm fuzzies. 🙂
@Beverly, I buy the good stuff in my case lancing with added sunscreen and the mightcream. I didn't bit it for awhile and noticed the difference so this month I'm going back. I do make alot of my own healing salves and such but this I cannot replicate.
My husband and I like to go out to restaurants and buy books and magazines. We are frugal with most other things so we can enjoy our treats without worry that it will break our budget or require dipping into our savings. Even with our treats we try to be frugal or economical about them. I'd rather go to a reasonably priced diner than a fancy restaurant most of the time, and we often look for places that have early bird specials and take home leftovers for another meal. I try to borrow books unless I really want to hold on to a particular one like Mary Oliver's poetry. I do love magazines and splurge a bit there, but I only buy ones I really want to read, that have minimal to no advertising, and pass them on to others when I am done. We feel like we live a rich and full life even though we spend much less than we earn.
The one item I'd call a true splurge?...regular massages. I carry a lot of stress in my body from life and work, and nothing relaxes me and releases it as well as a good massage. I do meditate and take long walks, but a good, professional massage is priceless for my physical and mental health.
@AnnieH, your dining out resonated with me. We're in our 70s, and I have cooked so many meals over a lifetime that my response to cooking is the desire to just throw a stick of dynamite at the kitchen. We lunch out at least once a week, and for me, a fine hamburger is as good as any steak, so it's often fast food. In fact, just recently, I mentioned to my husband that we really ought to up our dining game a bit, and visit an eatery with actual waitstaff at least once a month. 😀
I’ve carried on the Holiday Lemon Extract Fruitcake tradition of my mom. The ingredients are not cheap neither is the mailing of these cakes. However, family and friends look forward to these cakes come late November/early December. It is not frugal but makes me happy and the recipients happy. One of my brothers said maybe this year with the huge increases in prices of ingredients, that the cakes might have to be “retired.” I told him you and rest of family are worth it!! (My great-niece is coming for a visit and we are going to make a “practice” cake so one day she can carry on the tradition.)
@Nan
Where's the recipe for this deliciousness? I am probably the only person in my family that likes fruitcake, but I just started collecting ingredients to bake next week. I also came across an old recipe for a blackberry 'jam cake' that keeps like fruitcake that I am going to try out. Yes, its an expensive indulgence but better than any store bought cake! I usually try a new recipe also every year and would love to try your Mom's.
@Nan, That's great to hear. My motto is, life's too short, give great presents. (And I do. Gifts are my love language.)
@Nan, this is wonderful❤️.
Living frugally offers me the life I want within the budget I have. I could live differently than I do now and on much less, but I would not happy.
I live on the coast in Northern Florida — less than a mile from the beach. This beautiful place has been my home for most of my life. Living here has become a luxury as the town has become larger and wealthier.
I could sell my little house that I have lived in for 24 years at a huge profit and move inland. There I could live in a larger house for much less. However, I can’t think of anything that I would HATE more. Once you move inland, the traffic is heavier; the crime rate is higher; the schools aren’t rated as highly; it is so much hotter; and nature is so far away.
It has always been a bit of a stretch to live how and where I do. However, I save money elsewhere to have this life. I don't care if I have to drive my cars for 15 years or if I thrift for household goods and clothing. I don’t mind foregoing takeout or giving up expensive theatre tickets.
Unlike many of our neighbors, my kids never wore the hottest Nikes or drove new cars when they turned 16. Yet, they built sand castles and swam nearly everyday in the summer. They learned to surf, to kayak and to love the natural world.
So I guess my whole life has been about living frugally so I can live richly. Watching the full moon rise while sitting on the beach … swimming on a hot afternoon … hearing the roar of the ocean … these things are part of me.
@Bee, love how you said that you live frugally so that you can live richly.
@Bee, I love your story. Such a simple life. Living by the ocean must be the most calming place to be. Like you I live in the city, but my home is paid off and I am almost debt free. It gives me great peace everyday to have what I do have and dream about what the future holds.
@Bee, not only do I admire your choices, but your description of your life has gotten me gooey with nostalgia for my student days on the Gulf Coast. The campus itself is right on Sarasota Bay--and my two favorite rentals were both near the water.
@Bee, sooooo love this!
I really enjoyed reading all the responses to this post. It was enlightening to learn the why behind everyone’s frugality as well as readers’ priorities and interests. It is clear that most of us do not see frugality as deprivation but as a tool to live a better life.
@Bee, I love your decision to keep living at the beach in a small home. My cousin lives in Naples and has an old Naples house because that is what she and her husband can afford to stay in Naples and be around her siblings.
My son got the itch for Nike shoes while in high school. He got a job being a golf caddy so he could afford them - he bought them at the Nike outlet. Then when he was in college he worked at the Nike outlet to be able to get his shoes cheaper. When he was in high school I would give him what I would spend for his shoes and he earned the rest.
My husband and I aim to be frugal whenever we can. We enjoy it, it is not a burden. It is fun for us, and saying that, I realize how much of a blessing that is. We do not have lucrative jobs or anything like that, so do we need to be frugal also? Yes! But here are some things we splurge on: We like to eat out, maybe fast food once a week, and something a little nicer once a week. We like to go on week long vacations about twice a year. We stay at very affordable rentals and thrift the whole vacation (we sell online in addition to working full time jobs), so this mostly pays for our vacations. I collect various vintage things, but almost all of these things are easy to sell if times ever get tight, and I try to get them for a great deal. My husband has an RC hobby car that he enjoys working on (it always needs working on, but the parts are inexpensive after the initial investment (about $100) for the car. He has sold back parts and parted out RC cars to help pay for his hobby too! I am sure there are some other things we splurge on, but I can't think of them right now. I think you have to reward yourself and give yourself things to look forward to, even silly things like fast food for lunch one day a week. It helps break up the monotony of life.
This is making me think. I will think I don't indulge in much "luxury", forgetting that, according to much of the world, I live in luxury full-time.
However, this is where I live and this is the culture I live in, and according to the culture I live in, I don't indulge myself with treats much at all. For instance, when I earn points or dollars from credit card cash back, surveys, etc., I use them very practically, such as crediting dollars to my statement amount, or buying a gift card to a grocery store or home-improvement store.
I have frugally found art and décor to make my home attractive to me, and I finished filling out my wedding china, crystal and silver over the years with estate pieces when on sale, because I love and use them. I usually get second-hand furniture but I wait to find pieces I love. I will spend money on projects, like sewing and painting of furniture and walls, but I use sales and gift cards as often as possible. I spend more money on food than I need to, which is for my health, but which I also consider an indulgence, since I could live on less expensive food if I really had to. I use sales and gift cards as much as possible to get it, though. I don't travel much now, but when the kids were at home, I planned short, but fun vacations, using all the cost-saving tricks I could find.
Thanks, J NL for reminding me of giving to charity. That's something that gives me joy. I have a handful of charities and my church that I give to automatically, and it's worth it to me.
@JD, my sister has 3 sets of silverware - real silver - and she wants to get rid of them. One set is our mom's. I told her today I want place settings for 4 or 5 because life is too short not to use the good silver, right.
We have not traveled much with our kids yet, but when we do, we tend to splurge on anything that makes it easier. For example, we could all fit in one room for lodging, but we always find 2 bedroom places now because it’s more comfortable to put the kids in their own room (especially because they go to bed so much earlier than us). I also try to find anything we need prior to travel used/free, but I will buy it new if needed (I couldn’t find a wetsuit for one of my kids, and we were going somewhere that the water is cold so I bought a new one as the trip would be more enjoyable if they could swim comfortably)
This is a wonderful post. Frugality is good but it's not always right, especially when it makes you miserable or unnecessary- you're doing it out of habit.
* Necessary deprivation helps you to be out of/ pay off debt- so I see nothing wrong with it if used wisely. Virtue overdone becomes a vice. Also, Amy Dacyczyn recommends strategic deprivation which is great to take control of instant gratification habits and get off the trending wheel.
* Who knows if you'll live long enough to enjoy retirement? Even if you, there are so many things you won't able to do because of age and health issues. My grandparents were very wealthy, but they had to stay home all the time and could hardly eat anything because of health issues. No amount of money can buy you back time/ health/ ability/ motivation!!! So finding a balance in your frugality is imperative.
* We only buy Cruelty-Free products and live an Earth-conscious lifestyle- a luxury we're more than happy to pay.
@Farhana, I agree!
Is that The Complete Tightwad Gazette on the bookshelf next to the fireplace?
One of my splurges is quality shoes for my kids. Instead of buying them several pairs of cheap shoes, I buy them one good pair (name brand athletic style) and make sure they also have a back-up pair (like flip flops for the pool/beach in summer). They have PE at school most days of the week, so I feel it’s money well spent. I do plan ahead and shop sales, so it’s not a total splurge, but I have noticed those shoe prices have jumped over the summer (along with everything else).
Great post, it really got me thinking! We recently moved into a newly-built house and have spent a surprising amount of money on finishing it out. New houses don’t come with window treatments, shelving or backyard landscaping - at least not ours. We prioritized what we care about - turning the backyard into a garden and outdoor place to spend time together. While it did cost money to install pavers and plant a garden, it has already become a place where we can live more frugally - it’s nice to stay home and cook dinner instead of going out, we are growing some of our own vegetables, and we enjoy watching storms roll through - free entertainment!
I had to back my way into this, starting with what we do not prioritize. We do not prioritize late model, luxury cars, we do not prioritize expensive jewelry, art, or clothing. We do not prioritize white glove travel. I in particular do not prioritize expensive cosmetics and beauty treatments.
Conversely, where I live is a priority, meaning location over a specific type of house. Five years ago we dipped into our portfolio in order to move to the coast and still have our home paid for pay for in full. Similar to Bee above, it is not possible for me to put a price on the joy living near the ocean brings to me each and every day. I am 100x more joyful on a daily basis than when we lived more inland, and I would give up many other things in order to remain here should that ever become necessary.
We prioritize live entertainment over relying on the TV, but local (vs. big city) entertainment is fine. And an amazing amount of it is free - concerts, symphonies, Shakespeare, art festivals, car shows.- all are replete here during the summer.
We prioritize entertaining at home, and I expend much energy in cooking from scratch in order to deliver great tasting food to our visitors. Little $$, but of course much more work. I use the money not spent to buy and serve lovely wine instead, or the fixings for a special cocktail.
I could go on forever, but I'll stop. I guess my point is that I make tradeoffs constantly in order to continue to prioritize and protect the things we love, and ensure they never cease being part of our lives.
Last July, my husband had open heart surgery that involved three different procedures and a nine day hospital stay. He is in better health than ever now and enjoying being retired (though he’s about to start an Americorps position because he likes being busy and do good with his skill set.) I’d already retired early from a stressful career and felt so fortunate that I was able to be home during his recovery and to be supportive and available during the whole process. It reminded us both that time here on earth is finite. You can make and spend more money or less money but the amount of time you get here on earth is unknown until it is gone and spent. So my time has become the most valuable commodity in my life.
I’ve been spending more and more time making art because I feel most satisfied and happy when I am creative. Lately, I’ve invested in better quality art supplies because the enjoyment of using nice quality is much greater for me. Sometimes I feel a bit guilty spending the extra money on buying pricier art supplies but I use my frugal skills by taking advantage of sales (my local art store has 20% off every first Friday, for example) and in USING them- because they can’t bring me joy if they just sit on the shelf. That’s another goal in my art- to improve my skills. To do that, I need to make art regularly and that means “Use the good paints, papers, supplies-USE IT!” ( I do actually need to say that with great emphasis to myself, having been admonished in grade school to Not Waste Paper by teachers, etc and those voices tend to linger.) I’ll happily forgo shopping for most things to be able to buy art supplies. I’ll happily share making art with my nice art supplies with friends so we can spend time together and enjoy creating things. I’m starting an online year long art class in October and I feel that will be well worth the cost to learn so much and to have fun doing it. I have helped a lot of people in my working career and now it is time for ME- to make art and I am very, very thankful for the time, ability, and opportunity to do so.
Also, my grown kids and grandchildren also enjoy making art on their own and with me- how fun is that?!
@Julie P.,
I am so glad you indulge in good quality supplies!
There was an earlier comment on good quality yarns as well. Investing in your creativity is so worthwhile.
My hobby is singing and I have been taking lessons for quite some time, apart from joining a choir. Singing lessons do not come cheap but they make me happy. I can trade this off with several frugal household habits.
I hope you have a dedicated space for your creative activities, I find that helpful to get started-
@J NL,
Thanks for your lovely comment. Investing in my creativity is indeed very worthwhile! I quite agree with you about investing in health, security, and stability because having done so, we can live a life that has so much less worry and stress day to day. I also strongly agree with the importance of paying others their due- artists, craftspeople, creatives, musicians, etc. It is the creatives who bring beauty and hope into difficult times and they should be compensated for those efforts. Without them, the world is a joyless place.
What a delight it must be to have a lovely singing voice! That might be a superpower I'd choose if I had a wish granted for a new talent. I'm glad you make it a priority.
I don't have a dedicated creative space. Our house is pretty small so I end up in the kitchen but most of the time it works just fine. I can get a bit crabby and complain on occasion when I'm going here and there and into the basement to retrieve supplies but the counter is the right height on the breakfast bar so I make it work.
@Julie P., Your story about your husband's illness really resonated with me. I had one year where I was so ill I was mostly bedridden. Because we had been frugal, my husband stopped working for that entire year and stayed home and took care of me. Both of us would frequently comment about how glad we were that we had a) been lucky enough to have degrees that resulted in high income jobs and b) that we had lived frugally so that we could spend what we thought might be my last year on earth together without worrying about money. I don't know how people without means handle medical emergencies without collapsing under the stress.
@Julie P., my daughter did Americorps after college. She was was able to explore the west coast - we live on the east coast.
I like to take our kids out for experiences. This past year we purchased a zoo membership and planned vacations to places that had reciprocal agreements with the membership we had so that we could do free admission or half price.
It also helped that we got an additional discount on the membership due to my husband being a veteran.
I am with you 100%. We each need to determine our "why", what is the reason we are choosing to live in a particular way. We also need to choose our priorities. The reason I live a frugal life in some areas is so that I have the resources to travel, which adds enormously to the quality of my life. Others would make different choices and one is not greater than the other. Can't wait to be able to tavel again but I still keep squirreling away a little bit every month toward that goal, while keeping up with all my expenses, bills and investments in the future.
If that bottle of good wine makes your special day extra special and gives you joy and you have the resources to get it for free ... then of course it fits in with a frugal lifestyle.
When my kids were young and living at home, we were poor. Like dirt poor. I was trying to get my degree, going to college full time and working part time and we had almost no disposable income. But all their friends thought we were rich. Why? Because I became an expert at finding free or super inexpensive things to make our home beautiful (and I learned how to sew, paint and repair items!). We frequently found (free) ways to do the things we wanted to do. We discovered ways to inexpensively celebrate accomplishments.
Even though the kids are now grown and living on their own, I still resort to frugal ways to make my home beautiful and comforting, ways to do the things I want to do, and celebrate accomplishments.
@Mary, This is beautiful. When your home and family are at the center of your life, it certainly fills your life with a richness that has nothing to do with money.
@Bee, I agree Bee. I was the queen (bee?) of finding free things to do with the kids when they were younger. We used our county parks a lot for picnics and playgrounds.
I love this! I like to have treats and fun things, so I’ll do so as frugally as possible. I often pop into goodwill and buy clothes that I may not necessarily need but that add interest to my wardrobe.
I sign up for the first trial box of wine subscriptions to get bottles of wine at about $5 each, then cancel the recurring subscription. Not necessary, but a good price for when I do want to pull out a bottle to gift to someone or open and share with friends.
The same goes with specialty food items - I’ll watch for them to go on sale before purchasing.
I redeem drop points for American eagle gift cards for when I need a few things I can’t find secondhand.
I will choose to eat out using coupons and promos, like free extras on the chipotle app. I’ll buy discounted / day-old bakery products when I want a treat or nice bread.
I will also buy plants on deep discount for my garden. Soon, I will purchase rooting hormone and potting soil from lowes and try to propogate new rhododendrons, hydrangeas, and elderberry trees to plant around my parents’ house where I am living right now.
Groupon is my best friend for spa services like massages (and I get points back on drop when using my linked credit card, which I mentioned for getting my AE gift cards). I like to use this for experiences - usually for my own birthday or to gift to others.
Here is the link to sign up if you don’t use it already! Use my code 11uhj to get $5 - no strings attached. https://b.ewd.io/code?c=11uhj
Simple joys! And part of what makes life so fun, especially when sharing these things and experiences with others.
@Molly, as a thank you gift, my ultra-frugal daughter-in-law gave my husband and me a box of the best wine I've ever had -- 3 different bottles of red and three different white. You guessed it - she signed us up for a wine subscription membership and cancelled after the first box was delivered. What a great thank you!
@Elaine N, gosh, I sound like I'm bragging but I'm really not. I'm frugaling! My daughter in law gives me a yearly calendar with photos of her and my son and their adventures. I love it. Isn't it great when you can figure out how to get something good frugally?
I treat myself to enlarging my art/antiques collection a couple times a year, usually on my birthday or Christmas. I drive a cheaper older car and do make some frugal sacrifices in order to afford them.
I don't prioritize experiences so much because with bad health, a lot of the time they don't turn out that well anyway. When my kids were younger, their bickering could ruin an outing within minutes. We did travel a lot and take them to art museums, Broadway, concerts, and so on.
I live in a very high cost of living area, but I can look out the window and see a whale breaching in the ocean, which is hard to top.
@Rose,
I wish I could see the whales Rose. You've mentioned them before, and it sounds like a breathtaking sight.
@J NL, Come visit! We'll have Kristen Konvention 2023 at my house. I warn you, when I say I live at the edge of the world, I mean it.
Kristen Konvention...lol
@Rose, Are we all invited to KrisKon23? If so, I'm in, just send me directions! 😉
Wouldn't that be so much fun?
@Bobi, Of course! Go to Long Island. Start driving. When you reach the end, that's where I am!
@Rose,
I have several photographer friends who live on Long Island, and some of them capture photos of whales breaching from time to time....it's just incredible. I lived on Long Island many years ago, but never saw that particular sight. (P.S. Count me in for KrisKon23 :-))
@Liz B., I spent my childhood (or so it seems) trying to see whales in the ocean and never did. The 70s, man. But in the past few years, the fish and the whales have come back really well. It's delightful.
Re KrisKon23, I am quite serious about it if other people want to make the ridiculous trek out here. If I run out of rooms, there are a billion nearby motels. It would be fun.
@Rose,
KrisKon would be a blast!
I treated myself to some "whale off Long Island" footage. It is impressive. You are lucky to have that as a regular sight.
@Rose, I'm in too. 😀
@Rose,
That must be Montauk! Or thereabouts. Oohhh, I love Montauk - it's about the most beautiful place in the world to me. I live in the DC area but when I lived in the NY area I would spend time out at your "edge of the world"...and I have eastern LI, in photo or painting, all over my small, simple home.
@Melanie, Yup, it's Montauk. My happy place. Um, most of the time. When the tourists are walking five abreast and don't get out of the way of my car, or the local supermarket looks like the Fall of Saigon on a holiday weekend, the red mist can appear before my eyes, ha!
I have a small collection of vintage items related to the town...well, granted one of them is a 17-foot sign from the 1920s. Love it.
@Rose,
Ah, I'll bet that would be the IGA. I do feel for the locals having to deal with mobs of tourists. I tried to visit off-season - every bit as beautiful. I'll bet your vintage collection is wonderful - Montauk has a marvelous history! And I love the Shagwong Restaurant/Tavern. Back again, someday!
@Melanie, count me in for KrisKon23! My husband and daughter went to Manasquan at the Jersey shore yesterday and daughter reported she could see her feet in the water. The sharks must be cleaning up the water some how.
This year I planted “Cut & Come Again” zinnias in my garden for the first time. I never had cut flowers in my house due to the cost/ longevity factor. A few weeks ago I was able to cut some for the house and I love them!!! I could smack myself! Seeds are so cheap and even a six pack of seedlings is cheaper than a bunch of flowers that don’t last long. And I will have flowers until frost ( almost 3 months).
@Louise Torres, these are my favorite zinnias, too. In fact, mine are the talk of the neighborhood.
@Louise Torres, I'm not motivated to cut my zinnias this year because I'm enjoying watching the butterflies all over them too much when they are outside!
I actually struggle with this a lot. I mean, it's not that I deprive myself really but sometimes extravagance actually makes me uncomfortable; as if I don't belong in a place with luxury (if that makes sense.) An example would be recently my wife wanted to go to a symphony concert recently. We got lawn seats and I sat in my Walmart camp chair and had some basic snacks. Looking around me were people dressed in up to the minute fashion with picnic spreads of charcuterie boards and loudly popping open bottles of wine. The whole thing made me feel very out of place and uncomfortable.
For me, spending money on extremely fancy food and expensive restaurants doesn't give me much pleasure because in a few hours it will all end up in the same way. So I guess for me it's not frugal no matter the discount because I can't enjoy it.
@Battra92, Keep in mind lots of people feel that way--imposter syndrome. I get invited to tons of fancy parties with fancy people for free, but at this point I mostly turn them down because it mostly really is as shallow as you'd think, and I can cook better food at home (most of the time) anyway. I did accept one invitation to a super schmancy party this weekend because I miss one male friend of mine I could bring as a plus one. (He's rich, and I can't afford to take him to these places on my own dime.)
Just to say--lots of people are faking it too. Don't stress.
@Battra92, I feel the same way, but if you do it to bring your wife joy, just focus on her happiness and know that you probably belong there more than the spendthrifts who put the wine and charcuterie boards on their already overloaded credit cards!
@Bobi, Or maybe their credit cards aren’t overloaded. They might be frugal to buy the nice wine & yummy cheeses. And their outfits could be from ThredUP. And then that person would be me!!
@Diane, no, that wouldn't be you! A spendthrift is a person who spends money irresponsibly. If your credit cards are not overloaded and you are frugal, you are clearly the opposite of a spendthrift. 😉
@Bobi, I understand. I’ve noticed on other frugal living websites that people often default to “those who have nice things must be in debt.” I think this post shows just the opposite. People can have nice things through savings, planning, buying secondhand, etc. One can’t tell financial solvency or insolvency just by appearances.
Wonderful posts! Welcome to Wisconsin to Sonia and Zoe! Wisconsin is beautiful right now. I hope they have a great time whatever they are doing. Being from Wisconsin, I feel my splurges (and sacrifices) help me make it through the long winters. We save and are frugal in many ways but love to escape for a week in the winter to Florida. There, we love to get a great room right on the beach with beautiful sunsets. We do not care about restaurants much and eat lots of grocery store sandwiches and snacks. After dealing with the long winter, that sunshine and warmth and view is our heaven on earth. At home we also splurge on flowers for our pots and baskets when spring finally comes. We have to keep most of them up on our deck because the deer eat them, but we love spending time on our deck surrounded by their beauty. It is one area where I do not worry or skimp on the cost.
I prioritize books. I adore books. I think it's a remnant from a childhood where the library was the safest place to be, and reading was an escape. I try to keep my book *collection* to one bookshelf, and I use the library for e books and physical books often, but I keep a wishlist on Amazon for books I really want to own. Then I use our Amazon points that we earn with our Amazon credit card (which we use for all purchases except for groceries) towards books. Sometimes it's books for my kids' school or their own collection, sometimes it's mine. I know that e books read just the same, but having physical books on shelves and to hold is important to me, and a source of joy.
@Karen, We splurge on books. Tons of books. The children plan that when they grow up and move out, the family library will be at our house. We buy books in bulk at book sales. This is important to our family.
@Jody S., and Karen: This also means you prioritize time to read, (which my family does as well). Time use is another frugal decision.
This is so thought-provoking and I am enjoying reading everyone's thoughtful comments. To answer the question on what I prioritize, I opened my rolling one-year budget spreadsheet to see what my top three categories of spending have been. They are travel, gifts/donations and transportation. The first two are self-explanatory and bring us joy. Our transportation costs (primarily gas and oil changes on our 10-year old vehicles) are high because we live fairly far from activities, most of our friends, and all of our family members - so we prioritize going places and seeing people. Since we're looking for a home closer to the cities, I hope and expect that this time next year, housing and entertaining costs will be higher while transportation costs will be lower.
in response to kj currently in Portugal....
My favorite thing to get as souvenirs on vacation are sea salt or coffee or something else that I can continue consuming at home that might remind me of my vacation.
@Jenni, thanks for the ideas! The espresso’s here are pretty awesome…
@Jenni, yes, me too. And many years ago when I was raising kids and had less money, I would sometimes buy a pretty dishtowel as a momento of a trip.
I prioritize making memories and having experiences. I have an airlines credit card which gives me a companion fare annually which I just used to go visit parents back East for the first time in 3 years which didn't help me, but allowed a daughter to afford to come with me since tickets were over $1k.) I try to use it for a more expensive trip such as my HS reunion in Alaska last summer. I buy airline certificates from Costco for the same airline, automatically giving me a 10% discount right off the top. I reserve rental cars through Costco then check back every few days for better prices. This saved me over $700 3 years ago when I took my teen granddaughters back east to visit their great-grands and do a New England tour). On that trip we used 2 companion fares, I booked hotels using a variety of sites to get the best price each night as well as using points from another card for 2 nights in Boston. We used Rand McNalley trip planner to find fun, picturesque and inexpensive sites to see within 5 miles of our route. When I've taken them to Hawaii, we use points to fly, I bargain shop our lodging (often VRBO, looking for amenities such as beach chairs, coolers, laundry in unit), get my car as discounted as possible, we hit Costco on the way for breakfast and lunch foods, eat mostly food truck and take out dinners (pretty inexpensive), spend most days at the beach, and go to the swap meet for inexpensive bags/souvenirs. I splurged on $10 boogie boards from Walmart on arrival which we used all day every day, then left them for others to enjoy. I wait for 50% off coupons from photo book sites and make a photo book of our trip which they usually get for Christmas that year.
I buy more expensive shoes (Teva Hurricane, Oofos, or Kuru) because I have bad feet and work as a nurse, but the rest of my wardrobe is mostly from Costco, Target, Walmart, Ross, Amazon etc. I've never been into name brand purses or clothing, but have learned that cheaper isn't always as frugal as buying a costlier piece made of quality products.
We are fortunate to be able to afford to buy what we need while grocery shopping and buy fresh berries weekly, but eat very little beef and cook at home all meals but dinner out Saturday night most of the time. I take my dinner to work so I don't buy from the cafeteria or coffee stand. My guy is very frugal that way - I'm happy to stop for fast food or lunch out, but he goes home and opens a can of soup or makes a sandwich. I use coupons from Fred Meyer as well as clip them in the app before I shop weekly.
I color my own roots about every other time and then pay a little more for highlights once a year. I go to a friend with a home salon so it's about 2/3 less than what I used to pay at a name brand salon, and she gets color and developer for me to use at home. I am fortunate to have the talent to actually do a professional job coloring roots, and cut hair etc for friends and family. I dropped the nail salon and do my own dip nails while trying to grow my nails back out to a healthy state.
As a voracious reader, I use the library for most books (reserving online them picking up when they are ready) and use Bookbub to "buy" the free books that appeal to me. I often pop on to our library site (King County Library) and look at the "On Order and new" section to reserve books that aren't even here yet. I find all kinds of self help, cooking, decorating, and money management books, as well as those from my long list of favorite authors. I read too fast to ever actually buy a book most of the time. I wouldn't consider myself necessarily frugal, but definitely don't like to pay full price for anything and bargain shop when I can.
I love Oscar de la Renta body cream. It smells so good, but at $70-$80 a jar...it's pricey. I look for it on ebay often. I bought a jar not long ago for $26. $26 for a small jar of body cream isn't cheap, but it is 1/3 of the regular price so it is frugal. I don't splurge daily, but I'm also not living a life of deprivation. That doesn't seem sustainable (like dieting...deprivation would lead to overindulging). I do try to find the best price for the items I love.
I'm late to the party here, and so many people have already said wise things that I'll keep mine brief:
(1) To a certain extent, I enjoy creative deprivation as a form of sport. (As usual, I'm thinking of a quote I often use: "When this stops being fun, you'll see my tail lights!") But I'm trying not to take it to unhealthy extremes, especially now that I'm living alone and no longer have DH to give me an eyeroll when I need it.
(2) I'm willing to pay more to do things I greatly enjoy (gardening, ownership of books in my specialty areas, etc.); not to do things I greatly dislike and/or am no longer physically capable of (housecleaning, etc.); and, in some cases, to respect/protect the environment. But our choices are as individual as every one of us, and as long as we're all ultimately striving for balanced budgets and balanced lives, more power to us.
@A. Marie,
Yes, balance!
Did you ever read Mosquito Coast by Paul Theroux?
I've read and mulled over this book several times.
We may yearn for simplicity but it isn't everything, for everyone, at all costs.
Lol I got a good giggle at some of your terminology. "deprivation lifestyle, miserable life "
During the pandemic shutdown, pictures started being shared from all over the world of how clean the air and skies were with no flying, driving cars, or industry. I'll never forget that. Contrast that with present day images of huge crowds at airports, beaches, and resorts. The real cost of happiness that makes you cheerful is taking a toll on the earth and people we never see just trying to exist. The fewer resources I use and abuse leaves that little bit more for someone else.
@Tiana, I don't say this outloud to anyone but the husband: I enjoyed many parts of the pandemic. Obviously not the illness, but the fact that I did not have to make excuses not to see people or very reluctantly attend social activities, and how the earth seemed to get a breather from people and the toxic aspects of our existence that destroy the environment. I also liked wearing a mask. I have bitchy resting face, even when I am in a really good mood, but I get tired of people urging me to smile; with a mask on, no more reminders that people like to see a smiling face. (This is how bad it is---one time I was smiling and my husband asked me if I was in pain because my face was crinkled up!)
@Lindsey, as a houseful of introverts, we enjoyed parts of it too. I missed seeing my sister-in-law (the widow of my husband's late brother), who we love dearly, but otherwise was deeply relieved not to be expected to host anyone or go visiting.
@Ruby, I loved the photos of clear skies, too, and think of them often. I wore a mask in an Atlantic City casino the other day for 1. hopefully keep Covid at bay and 2. filter the smoke that was in there. Now that I know that little trick I'll do it every time in the future which won't be often.
Agree with so many thoughts here! Long ago my dear MIL used to buy me (what I found to be) extravigant gifts...Christmas, birthday, etc. We talked about it after awhile (when I felt I could say those things to my new MIL!) and she said " I can well aford to buy you things you would not spend money on; clothes and gifts for the home, etc which do not seem frugal to you. But, these things bring me joy to shop for and give you, as I know you'll really appreciate them!" It taught me to use cash, and gift cards we receive as the giver intended them to be spent. Not as I would spend, but as they would want me to spend.
@Dreama, I do like your MIL's point: Part of being frugal is not spoiling someone else's enjoyment! Allowing someone to give gifts is a gift in return to them.
I spent a ton of money to buy a camper van with solar panels on the roof so, even thought I am old, I can travel and stay in free places since I don't need an electrical hookup. Going south from Minnesota for the winter paying only for gas and food is a wonderful thing to do.
Anyone who reads this blog does not need to justify their priorities or feel guilty for treating themselves. The people who could most benefit from this type of post are the ones least likely to read it. (e.g. the folks who treat themselves to expensive wine instead of paying the electric bill.)
I love this post, and the comments are so interesting! I feel like I come at this from a different perspective because I don't think of myself as a naturally frugal-minded person. It is something I have to consciously think about. I agree that it is like dieting--if you totally deprive yourself, you'll never stick with it. Which is great advice for someone like me 🙂
I try to take advantage of rewards to enjoy treats--Starbucks and Chipotle are probably the rewards I use most often. If I know my Starbucks purchase is earning rewards points and I enjoy treats from Starbucks every so often, then I know I'll eventually get a free drink. I also make the conscious decision to enjoy these things as treats--I'm not getting an overpriced Starbucks drink everyday or even every week for that matter! But, at least when I do, I know that I will enjoy it in the moment and then get to enjoy a free drink at some point because of that purchase.
I also really enjoy beauty products and makeup (I think I could be in the minority of readers here who enjoy those two things!). I only buy cruelty-free products, and I try to only buy from clean, environmentally friendly brands. I am willing to spend a little more to treat myself to those, and again I try to consciously purchase those things as a treat. I do use the rewards at Ulta in which I get rewards dollars for my purchases. So again, I know that a purchase now will help add up to a free purchase later. I also know that if I save up my rewards points, they accumulate faster and I end up with a bigger reward. Right now I have over $200 in rewards that I have patiently been saving for about a year. I will use those free dollars to purchase some necessities (shampoo, cleanser, etc.), but I will also pick out a few fun treats as well (eyeshadow, highlighter, etc.) that I will thoroughly enjoy!
@Jamie S., could you let the rest of us know some of the brands you favor that are cruelty free? Thanks!
@Anne,
I'm not Jamie S., but Leaping Bunny (leapingbunny.org) lets you know of a whole list of cruelty-free products of many kinds. Some will surprise you. For instance, Cover Girl's parent company, Coty, is not certified cruelty-free, but Cover Girl itself now is. Not all cruelty-free products use a c-f logo even though they are c-f, but you can look for the leaping bunny logo or the bunny face (PETA's logo for c-f products) and that will tell you about that particular product. Using these sites is how I found out about the c-f contact solution I use, Clear Conscience.
(I'm not affiliated with Leaping Bunny or PETA. I just use their data to help inform my shopping choices.)
I think my husband is willing to spend on things that I am not and I benefit. He had the foresight to see that the house we're currently living in was worth the stretch, even though it would make things tight for a while. But we love the location, we feel save here and it's appreciated significantly. Similarly, he's the one who plans our vacations. I balk at the room rates and the cost of excursions. But I trust him because I *know* he's a genius at maximizing our credit card and travel points. He will spend the money but he will go far out of his way to maximize the use of each dollar-he plans so that things are safe, enjoyable and convenient. If it were left to me, we'd be at home all the time. Same goes for electronics. EVERY.SINGLE.TIME he comes to me and says he's looking at buying a new (insert electronic device here), I'm like "are you serious? Do we really need a new one????" but I have to say, it's really great that everything works when we need it to. He does a great job trading them in for credit (apple) or selling the devices so it's not so expensive to upgrade. He spends a lot of effort on this and while on the surface, it seems like he's spending a lot, he's actually getting a great value for what we're getting in return.
I'm a lot more tight fisted with my spending but I'm trying to learn from him. I clean the house myself, I don't really buy a lot of beauty products or spend a lot on hair/nails/skin treatments, my clothes are pretty simple. I feel like I'm more willing to spend on things like groceries but because we primarily eat vegetarian, I have some more wiggle room to buy organic fruits and vegetables and occasionally that painfully expensive dragonfruit that my daughter really (REALLY) loves. Or to buy the better quality salmon because we only buy it once a month. I also try to buy better quality shoes and ski equipment for the kids - sometimes I get this right, sometimes I don't.
@CrunchyCake,
Dragonfruit is delicious. I'm with your daughter.
Books are my greatest treat, followed by buying cards to send to friends or acquaintances. I know I could use the library, and sometimes I do. But I read a lot and when a favorite author releases a book, or one of my writer friends does, I don't always want to wait while my name works its way up a library waiting list. And sometimes the library does not intend to get the book. So I buy the book.
A love of cards, and getting mail in general, comes from going to boarding school in the days before internet/texting/cell phones. We only had one public phone in the school and you had to wait hours to get your turn, so mail from family and friends was a lifeline. I do have some minimal card supplies and I also have a few photos that I have taken of moose or snow that I have used to make cards. However, I love a good funny card and I am definitely not a funny person (which was reinforced when I signed up for a class on how to be a comedian. Excruciating for me and probably for the teacher/comedian from NYC and my fellow students) so I often buy cards. I also participate in a program where we send cards to folks who are shut ins, so I use funny cards for that.
Actually, my real greatest treat is fulfilling some wish of my husband, like buying a golf related thing. We believe that a strong component to a solid marriage is mutually indulging each other. This is not always material items, sometimes it means I go see Top Gun when I would rather pull out my eyelashes. Or he goes to a bagpipe performance with me when he would rather stay home and use a hammer to hit himself on the head. But, especially after 40 years together, neither one of us has many great desires, so books and cards it is.
@Lindsey, have you ever thought of asking friends & family for used greeting cards? The ones they would throw away after a certain period of time? If you were so inclined, you could remove the card front and turn it into a new card. I think about doing that quite a bit, but then I realize the imaginary me would enjoy that process. The real me would have to be peeled off the ceiling 🙂
@Lindsey, you are too a funny person. Don't let anyone tell you anything else.
@Lindsey, you might not be good at comedy onstage but you certainly write in an amusing way. I love your comment.
Instead of asking the waiter or waitress to split the bill when eating out with a group of friends or family, my husband loves to make a "trip to the bathroom" and work out how to pay for the group. The first time he did it, we were in financial dire straights and I almost hyperventilated. But even so, I saw the joy that it brought him.
Our Eating Out budget category can be very large some months, but we have lots of memories of fun times with loved ones where everyone gets what they want to eat and drink and our kitchen stays clean.
Some things are just worth the cost.
I just wanted to say I’ve been thinking about this post all morning! Early in the pandemic when it felt like we couldn’t do anything at all, I made a list of free or low cost indulgences that made me happy. Now I’m thinking about the indulgences that are important enough to me that I’m happy to spend money on them! For me, it’s my daughter’s education (including extracurriculars), travel to see friends and family, delicious healthy food (largely homemade), membership to a few local destinations that my entire family enjoys, and getting coffee now and then at a coffee shop. This list is making me think about how different people value different things. My husband values streaming subscriptions, video games, and eating out somewhat regularly - it’s funny how I view these things as easy ways we could prune our budget, while he views my love of coffee shops in a similar light. It’s also reminding me that these things are indulgences and that I should really appreciate them! As always, thanks for food for thought. 🙂
That was my comment! I know that Kristen's post wasn't really about me, but that is still fun.
We just bought a house and I am sometimes overwhelmed by the new expenses. $50 saved in one area might buy paint to beautify the bedroom or a bench to seat more people around our kitchen table . . . .
I am the more frugal member of the marriage and I don't mind "sacrificing" to save money but my husband prefers to have some luxuries. (He is frugal just not as frugal as I am.) I used to tell him not to buy me flowers because "they are just going to die in a week" but I am learning to appreciate the joy (and value) beauty (and treats) add to our life.
And Happy Trade Deadline Day! (It seems that our baseball team is making some good moves that could turn around our season.)
Well, thank you for the post inspiration!
My husband and I are on a plan to be completely debt-free in 2023, which has us in our 21st month of black-belt frugality, save for a four-day vacation in the spring. The tiny luxuries we make room in the budget for are books (I buy used cookbooks on eBay and read them like novels), Irish beef for him, and our pets, as we adopted a rescued cat recently, bringing our rescued pet total in the household up to six. (Six is the maximum, BTW. Three little dogs and three cats makes for a nice group.)
Correction: Irish beer for him.
@Ruby, we have two rescue cats that separately adopted us. They make our day. I want more, however, my husband and our HOA both say that two pets are the limit.
@Ruby, I was wondering about that Irish beef. Thanks for the correction.
I have always looked at life as "I am here for a good time, not a long time," as my barometer for a lot of my life's decisions. Since I am young (under 30), I know that saving now for retirement, eventually being totally debt-free etc., is very important. However, I want to take advantage of what I can while I am young. I am not guaranteed the health and physical ability to do a lot of things when I am older, and having the memory is more important. Did I need to buy the more expensive cheese and nicer bottle of wine? No, but the night I had with my girlfriends that merited that purchase is well worth the money that was spent. That being said, I do look at ways that I can mitigate a lot of my splurges. Like you Kirsten, I want to be surrounded by beauty in my house so I do a lot of my cosmetics updates. Bonus points because it really allows me to personalize my space. I love nice clothes and some designer items, so I troll sites like TheRealReal for some amazing bargains. Plus a lot of these items can be considered heirloom quality. I relish being the cool aunt that gets to pass an amazing collection of beautiful items with a story behind them to my nieces and nephews. A lot of frugality is looking what you consider a priority and planning accordingly.
Prior to 2020 (and the store closed) we bought our bread products at a bread thrift store attached to a commercial bakery. They brought back all the breads, buns, sweets from the surrounding grocery stores with a short sell by date that they supplied. I had four people packing sandwiches for lunch five days a week- lots of slices. The perk was a punch card that once full let you get one item free. Our free item was always "day old" donuts. It really is the only time the kids got donuts and they were free. Could I have bought another loaf of bread or a pack of buns- yes but chocolate donuts make everyone smile.
Yes, this is exactly what I'm talking about! When you choose a free fun thing instead of a free practical thing.
One thing I have given myself 'permission' to do is occasionally buy food items I don't usually get. Like shrimp. Or lobster tails. (But I can't help myself -- it has to be on sale.)
In Rose Wilder Lane's FREE LAND, the father figure hands the hero extra money to buy some food treats for his wife, and makes a comment that sometimes women can be TOO saving. I have often thought about that.
So if you've been saving for years, and are living more comfortably, I don't see anything wrong at all in spending a little more every now and then. Including using your $50 gift card to buy a bottle of wine.
Let's see...
* I prefer quality shoes over cheap ones
* I pay 30$/month for a gym membership, that I use 3 times a week
* I buy healthy food for myself and the family. We eat a lot of fruits and veggies, a good amount of meat, etc.
* We invested our extra money into the mortgage and car payments. The result is being debt free at 40, which is really freeing. So this might not be a luxury, but the peace of mind sure is
* Experiences like summer camp for the kids, a ski pass, taekwondo classes, etc. We are not into materialistic gifts so much as experiences.
* Having a car. We take it for granted most of the time, but this really is a luxury!
That's about it!
I want to live frugally, not miserly.
I have many small pleasures. I don't travel much, buy expensive cars, bags, or beauty products. But I do get a "Friday treat" every Friday on my way to work - usually a fancy coffee drink, or a bagel or pastry. It's a small thing I look forward to all week. I eat a meal out once or twice a month and and cook for friends or family at my place. I get plenty of books at the library but I also buy them at the library sale for $1 and occasionally pay full price for a book. I occasionally go to a concert, or play. I have an audible subscription and a few streaming services (but no cable). I have hobbies, but they are not expensive ones. My goal is always to find balance between spending and enjoying life now AND saving to enjoy life later.
Fantastic post! I completely agree. Our luxuries we make happen in a frugal way are two:
1) Travel. My husband and I dearly love to travel together and also introduce our children to the world through travel. We know so many older people who waited until they were retired to even start traveling, and we knew we didn't want to do it that way. So, we travel via home exchange. We get a free place to stay that usually has a kitchen and laundry, so we can prepare our own meals and take care of our own laundry. We do still have to pay for flights and sometimes rent a car, but we are careful to shop deals and accomplish those things as cheaply as possible. It has opened the whole world to us.
2) Live in gorgeous old homes. We love living in an old row house in a beautiful city neighborhood. To accomplish that we bought on the rougher edge of the neighborhood, and chose a house that needed some love. It has always been livable, but we are slowly going room to room to restore it to its original glory as we save the money to do so. We are also acquiring a farmhouse in our home town. Rather than buying an old house on the market, we have instead been in discussion with family for years. The time was right for my cousin to gift us (for free!) his grandmother's house. "Free" isn't exactly what it sounds like--we are paying to move it off his land and restore it. He gets the benefit of seeing his grandmother's home restored and loved (otherwise he was going to have to make the agonizing decision to bulldoze it). We get a beautiful old farmhouse at a frugal price.
I will buy clothes at Goodwill, prepare food at home, get cheap haircuts, drive my car until the wheels fall off, get all my furniture off FB marketplace, and spend a half hour on the phone with the dag blame internet provider each year to save $20/month for the rest of my life if it means I get to enjoy these luxuries.
I don't want to be so frugal that I forget to enjoy living and life.
Our splurgy luxury is groceries. I do not have a grocery budget for our family of four. We splurge for the local fresh fish. I go to Whole Foods often for specialty ingredients. This works for us as we REALLY REALLY try to avoid eating out. We don't pick up doughnuts, fast food, chinese food, subs, pizza, bagels, biscuits, etc. on a regular basis. We sometimes eat out, but it has to be planned and thought ahead. If we have high quality food, even convenience food like frozen Amy's meals or Ta-Dahs falafel wraps, at home then there is also less temptation to pick up convenience foods. So I have two fridge/freezers and a pantry that is jam packed. The other upside to this approach is that if there's a week when we want to spend less, we can eat out of our well stocked pantry.
Caveat here -- this approach requires careful attention to stock rotation!
I like clothes. They would be my splurge. I went to Catholic school and wore a uniform for 12 years then became a nurse and wore another uniform! I get weak kneed in clothing stores.But I WILL NOT PAY RETAIL! In order to indulge and wear nice clothes, I shop strictly consignment. Today I am wearing a short denim skirt I purchased for $3.00 in the clearance area of my favorite store. With an Ann Taylor top I purchased or $6. My favorite consignment stores have all the brands I love and I also can reconsign clothes there and get credit to use! So ,I can indulge in “luxurious” clothes at a fraction of the cost of new.
We also love to eat well. I enjoy cooking as a hobby and sometimes splurge on ingredients so that we can have a “fancy meal” here at home.I set a beautiful table,flowers,nice dishes,music on. SOO much cheaper than a restaurant and much nicer ambiance,too! But most of the time, my homemade meatballs, barbecue ribs, Chana masala and beef stew, are all pretty frugal to make and are fun to eat.
Like you, I love to be surrounded by beauty and will scour local thrift stores for an end table or a lamp instead of going to retail outlets.It’s more fun, and I find interesting things that places like Target would not have.
Living well does not take a ton of money.. using creativity is more FUN.. and becomes a habit as well as a hobby! and when you are frugal in the main, you sometimes have the extra for the little splurges that feed the Soul.
I splurge on getting my eyebrows done by my friend every 6 weeks or so. This costs about $50 but then I am supporting a female business owner and I love how it makes me look.
I also splurge on pine-scented candles. These are hard to find and tend to be expensive other than in December. I burn them all year, I just love the smell.
My 3rd splurge is wine. I love it. I wish I could drink more of it but vanity and health stop me from overindulgence
Agreed! I spend mindfully on many things, so that I have the extra money to enjoy the best that life has to offer - trips, movies, eating out occasionally - or random treats! I get my books from the library (free), i use codes for free movie rentals at Redbox, I use coupons at the grocery, I buy my clothes (or random items needed at the house) at yard sales/thrift stores - or get them from freecycle. I still try to get discounted tickets / meals/treats when I go out - but its nice having the budget wiggle room to do these things because I am so careful on other spending.
Once, for our anniversary, I cashed in credit card points to get a gift card to Ruth's Chris. It was for $100 and I think our meal was about $20 over that. I may have had a beer and hubby maybe had a whiskey sour. Anyway, it was part of a cheap overnight getaway to Atlantic City. I was able to get a hotel room for something cheap like $40 and we were able to gamble a bit - I had a set budget for that. We walked on the boardwalk and did the freebies like looking at shops and they had a pier that was a shopping mall and at the end there was a fountain that did a performance to music. We walked to Bally's to see the robotic Wild West show and to the Atlantic City museum (free) where I could see Miss America's crown and cape as well as dated photos of Donald Trump opening up his casinos. Oh and the original Mr. Peanut costume! So all in all a fun time for cheap.
Vacations were important to me and I would plan a trip that was frugal. My father had a saying "If you can't go first class then why go at all?" Mine was "I just want to go". I think my hubby and son toured every major league baseball field on the east coast while my daughter and I did the historical tours on our own. I would find a good hotel rate, we would bring food to eat and I would find cheap admission if we had to pay to go anywhere. I did this instead of paying for good furniture that the kids would destroy or buying a bigger house. I scrimped and saved to send the kids to Presbyterian sleep away camp every summer. They loved it. My son was hoping he could send his kids to the same camp even though he currently lives in Singapore and has no kids, lol!
I used to work at a farmer's market to process people's SNAP/Food Stamp dollars into tokens they could use at the farmer's stands. In my state, we have a program where for the months of July, August and September, SNAP users can get double their tokens to buy extra produce. Because of the program, a woman was able to save enough to buy a nice steak to have for her son's 16th birthday party. Sure, she could have probably bought double the amount of ground beef and made hamburgers, but that steak dinner will stick with the kid as a special treat him mom was able to give him. I'll never forget how excited and proud she was to tell me about how she was able to give her family a nice steak dinner. It's really stuck with me how important a nice treat can be!
books, fresh flowers, real perfume. I work hard to save money. I've just put in 24 hours of sewing to make a slipcover for an older chair. But what's the point if I never get anything I love from the deal? I buy used books, I plant flower seeds and I purchase the perfume at a discount. Does that lessen their value to me? Not at all! Would I use a gift card for a really good bottle of wine? You betcha but it's not one of my personal priority items.
Yes, exactly. You save on the things you can so that you have money to splurge on the things that matter more.
We definitely prioritize certain things...date nights, travel with the kids, treating my parents/sister to trips (we often pay for the lodging, and sometimes air travel as well), etc. Spending time together is our big priority, both in my immediate family, as well as extended.