Hyperemesis | Advice for pregnant women and those who love them
Every now and then, I mention my rough pregnancies in passing, and usually when I do, readers have some questions about hyperemesis (which is extended and extra-terrible morning sickness).
The full name is hyperemesis gravidarum, often abbreviated HG.
I've done a few Instagram stories about this, but of course, those disappear in 24 hours unless you save them. So when a reader chatted about this with me on Instagram the other day, she said a blog post would be helpful.
This way I have a spot to refer people to in the future, which would be very handy.
My hyperemesis experience
I had HG in all four of my pregnancies. Here's the rundown:
- Pregnancy #1: not much medication, stopped throwing up at 20 weeks
- Pregnancy #2: so sick I couldn't stand up, got on Zofran, which worked great! Got off of Zofran at 25 weeks.
- Pregnancy #3: really sick, Zofran helped but did not entirely stop the nausea or the vomiting. I was on Zofran until delivery.
- Pregnancy #4: like pregnancy #3 but worse. Zofran the whole way through again.
Hyperemesis advice for the pregnant one
If you are reading this because you are suffering from hyperemesis, big hugs to you. I am so sorry for your suffering!
Nothing totally fixed my HG, but I do have a few survival tips.
Eat/drink whatever the heck you want
You are trying to survive, so this is not the time to worry too much about nutrition.
Anything you eat and drink will be better than nothing, so eat whatever sounds remotely appealing. Ice cream, Cheetos, ramen, popsicles, cookies, chips, soda; if junk food sounds good, then eat it.
Zoe and I subsisted on popsicles for quite a few weeks. 😉
Keep on trying to eat and drink
My doctors reminded me that our stomachs can absorb quite a bit (especially liquid) from the food we eat even if we keep it down for a half-hour, so they told me to keep on trying to get something down.
Try to use smells to your advantage
A frustrating truth is that during pregnancy, your nose works especially well AND you desperately wish you could smell nothing.
The smell of food turned my stomach, so I tried to avoid grocery stores or even opening the fridge. If I did have to go to the grocery store, I sometimes dabbed something good-smelling on my wrists so that I had something to sniff as I walked past the seafood department (the worst!!).
I gave my kids baths every day so that they didn't smell like leftover graham crackers. 😉
Some smells helped, like fresh air (open the windows if the weather is good) or a clean, citrus scent (light a candle or diffuse some oils).
I also often felt better outside of my house; for some reason, the smells of whatever house I was living in really turned my stomach during pregnancy.
Focus on one day at a time
During my later pregnancies, I could no longer hold onto the hope that the sickness would just go away; I knew I was in for it for a long time.
The endless days of nausea stretched out before me in a seemingly endless string (9 months seems like an eternity when you feel like tossing your cookies every day.)
So what helped me was to really, really focus on one day at a time; otherwise I started to feel hopeless.
I would get into bed every night and think, "Ok, I am one day closer to the end of this. One more day of this is checked off."
Remember that there IS an end to this
It helped to remind myself that pregnancy is not a chronic condition! At the end of nine months, give or take, the nausea and vomiting DO stop.
For me, the nausea disappeared pretty much immediately after delivery. So, I was actually quite excited to eat hospital food!
Do the bare minimum
During my first pregnancy, I obviously had no other kids to take care of.
But during all the subsequent pregnancies, there were other children to manage, plus household jobs.
When my sickness was the worst, I tried to give myself permission to do only the essentials (keep the children fed and changed, throw some laundry in, try to feed myself, keep teaching piano lessons).
Other than that, I let it all go. There's time later to dust and organize and clean.
Sleep as much as is humanly possible
If you are not conscious, you cannot feel nauseous! So during the particularly rough parts of my pregnancies, I tried to be asleep whenever I could.
Remember that people's intentions are good
People who have no experience with hyperemesis sometimes say things that are super unhelpful (see the next section) or they may kind of write off what you are experiencing ("How bad can morning sickness be?", they think. "She must just be dramatic.")
I do think that people who love you generally have decent intentions, and remembering that fact can be helpful.
Plus, most people do not understand what it's like to experience nausea for days, weeks, and months on end; they just don't grasp how wearying that can be, even if you are not actually throwing up all the time. So, they might say things that seem a little tone deaf, but they're probably just clueless.
Ask for and accept help
I like to be independent, but HG brought me to my knees, particularly in my last two pregnancies.
People helped me with childcare, people brought me food, my brother helped me with cleaning, and so on.
This is not the time to be a hero; hyperemesis may be a long temporary, but it IS temporary. You just need some help right now, and one day in the future, you will not need help.
Accept it and welcome it for now!
Advice for helping people with HG
Take the other kids
If your pregnant loved one has other children, babysit them as much as possible!
Taking care of myself was hard, but taking care of my other kids while I was sick was super, super hard. It helped me so much when someone else took care of them.
Feed the family
The person with hyperemesis might not be eating much, but their family is still hungry. So, you can help by bringing meals or giving restaurant/delivery gift cards.
This might also help the pregnant mom; I was much more likely to be able to eat something someone else had prepared.
Come over and clean
During my pregnancy with Sonia, my younger brother came over once a week after his college classes to help with laundry and cleaning. I cannot even tell you how much this buoyed my spirits.
Come over and be distracting
Sometimes, the sickness is so bad that you don't want to see anyone at all. But when it's at a more moderate level, it can help a lot to have someone else around to talk to. Distraction works wonders.
And since pregnancy nausea is not at all contagious, you can feel free to go socialize with no fear of getting sick.
(I always thought this was one bright side of hyperemesis; unlike regular stomach bugs, this one is not contagious!)
Do not offer unsolicited advice especially if you are experienced
Unsolicited advice given to someone who's experienced multiple HG pregnancies is a little frustrating.
When you have spent months battling nausea, you usually have tried almost every solution out there, to no avail. So, to have people repeatedly ask, "But have you tried eating a cracker before you get out of bed in the morning?" is frustrating.
I am not at my best and most patient when I am sick, so sometimes, I kind of wanted to say something snarky like, "Oh no. I enjoy suffering, so during my previous three pregnancies, it never occurred to me to try any of those obvious, easy solutions."
Do not say something about how wonderful it is to lose weight
Someone once told me, "We should all be so lucky!" when she heard I'd been so sick that I had lost weight at the beginning of my pregnancy.
Not to state the obvious, but losing weight during pregnancy is not usually a positive thing; you are supposed to gain weight when you are growing a baby!
Plus, losing weight this way is possibly THE most miserable way to do it. I don't think any fad diet could possibly compete with hyperemesis when it comes to suffering.
Do check in, listen and validate
I could tell you a whole slew of things not to say, in addition to the two above, but I'll end with this: it can help to have someone just listen and say, "Man, this really sucks." And it helps to have people reach out and say, "Hey, how are you doing?", followed by compassionate listening.
I know it might be tempting to think the person is being a little dramatic, but I can tell you that I am a pretty tough cookie with a high pain tolerance (I gave birth 4x without an epidural, for instance), and I thought hyperemesis was extremely hard.
Trust me! It's miserable, and your person needs support, help, and validation.
______________
Ok! I think that about covers it.
I watched my youngest suffer hyperemesis throughout her pregnancy. I was terrified. She had triple anti nausea drugs and nothings helped. It was difficult to watch. But she has been blessed with a beautiful daughter who is the light of our family.
I had HG with all 3 of my pregnancies too. It is quite miserable. One thing that did help me was to try to get outside if I could. Just sitting in the sunny a couple of minutes every day was really good for me physically and mentally. With my last pregnancy my older children watched a lot of tv, I felt really bad about that for awhile. However knowing now that it is just a season and it will end gave me more peace.
Oh yeah. My kids definitely watched more TV during my pregnancies than usual!
The advice on how to help is a good list and applicable for many situations.
As someone offering help, I found my offers were more likely to be accepted if I were specific. "Let me know if I can help" is the least likely offer to be accepted; sometimes I think it's American English for "I want to sound helpful but not actually do anything." It also pushes the responsibility for the request on the person needing help. You'd think that was OK but sometimes it's too much for the needy person to deal with.
"How can I help?" is stronger but still fuzzy. If I really want to pitch in, I find that being specific is the most successful. "I'm going shopping, what can I get you?" or "I would be happy to do your laundry/clean your bathrooms/vacuum wherever you want" indicates serious intent and helps the needy person find answers to the questions.
If you're the one getting help, I think it's a good idea to either be specific or specify that you don't care. Either "Yes, please do the laundry, wash the whites separately and on hot water" or "Yes, please do the laundry, I don't care how you do it."
If someone is shopping for you, I recommend being as specific as you can. "2 cans shaving cream, prefer gel but foam is OK" is better than "shaving cream." It's also easier if you give the person more cash than needed, then to try to pay someone back and in exact change. I know someone who, when he was sick, kept some $100 bills on hand for just this purpose.
You're a better man than I, FG,[1] if you were able to avoid saying “Oh no. I enjoy suffering, so during my previous three pregnancies, it never occurred to me to try any of those obvious, easy solutions.” I would have been all snark in that situation.
[1] Don't jump on me about the "man," this is a movie quote.
@WilliamB, agreed on being specific! Or depending on the relationship, just doing something. When my BIL and SIL had their child, my husband and I (and our 2 kids) cleaned their living room and finished folding laundry. My husband shoveled and washed dishes. With our close friends (we were taking care of their dogs) we washed dishes and brought cooked meals.
I remember telling an extended family member that we could really use a meal after our first was born and you would have thought I asked for $1000. Some people don’t actually want to help.
@WilliamB, I hae never suffered from HG, but I had a year of constant hospitalizations and your advice on offering help is right on. I wanted to kiss the feet of people who were specific about what they were willing to do. Cleaning the bathroom is not something I would ask someone to do when they said, "How can I help?" However when a friend said she would come by twice a week to clean our two bathrooms, it meant the world---not just to me but to my husband, who would have been the one doing that job in between caring for me. My neighbor brought homemade soup and bread every Friday afternoon, always enough to last for at least two meals. I never thought about the keeping of cash---I will remember that great idea.
@Jenni,
This happened to my husband and I after we adopted our newborn son. Friends and family wanted to help, but when I told them we would love a meal provided for us, they ran in the opposite direction. No, we don't need baby blankets, onesies, or toys.....we needed meals.
Each pregnancy of mine was worse. Luckily I was only really sick during the second 2 (I had 1 good month during my last one). Something to help partner/spouse is reminding them that the pregnant person will go back to being a pleasant person. I know I was a pill during this last one and I’m very grateful to my husband for tolerating and showing me love.
I heard someone once say "I don't believe in morning sickness, so I never had it". I wanted to throttle her! I think one of the hard things about this is that not everyone experiences this and those that do have varying degrees of severity. So one person might think, "well during my pregnancy/ies I din't have morning sickness" or "it wasn't that bad" so they think everyone else's experiences should be the same and think those suffering are exaggerating.
My youngest (of 3) is turning 21 in a few weeks and this clearly still triggers a strong emotion! lol.
Perhaps there is more understanding now? I sure hope so!
@Roslyn, same. My kids are raised. I still am triggered and a bit sad about my pregnancy experience.
Someone once cheerily told me, "Well, I just go into pregnancy with a positive attitude and then I don't feel sick!"
And I thought, "Clearly, you have never had hyperemesis!" I tried so hard, especially with pregnancy #3, to make it work. I had a three year gap between babies, I exercised, I ate well, I thought I was well-prepped for a pregnancy and MAN I just got flattened.
Like you, when I think about that comment, I sometimes have a rather visceral reaction. The combination of being invalidated plus basically insinuating that it's your fault...ugh. It's really unhelpful.
I had it terribly for both my pregnancies. I admire you for four pregnancy. We saw ourselves with more children but I just could not face the nausea. I puked all day every day from week 7 until the end. I puked on deliver days too. I did feel better almost immediately. I would get so frustrated and think the nausea was in my head at times. I was on IVs in the beginning and ZOFRAN thruout. I felt very guilty and ashamed for taking zofran but I could not function without it. My three sisters were not sick in pregnant and I was so sick. I wonder why? TWO HEALTHY BABIES THO now 25 and 21. Nibbling helped. Tiny sips often helped. Popsicles. Gingersnaps.
@Stephanie, sorry for typos. Double dipping while at work.
@Stephanie, oh yes I puked every 20 minutes or so through my first labour. Oddly though, not my second. I think it was due to stress.
Oddly, labor and delivery was the one time during pregnancy where I never puked!
@Stephanie, you, too, are a hero to m!
I also suffered HG and was in the hospital on IV's the entire 9 mos. Got down to 68 lbs. Had a nurse tell me it was all in my head and the Dr banned her from coming into my room. No fun!
Oh my word! You had such a terrible time of it.
I had HG for both my pregnancies. My pregnancies were so miserable that husband refuses to have another baby BC I am so sick on top of having to get 2x/day blood thinner shots in the stomach the entire pregnancy.
My biggest advice is to not be afraid to fight the DR. My 1st pregnancy they wouldnt prescribe anything for nausea and I suffered thru. With my 2nd I demanded Zofran which at least helped me feel human. But I remember my OB trying to prescribe me a lesser drug BC they don't prescribe Zofran (My high risk OB said it was fine to take Zofran but my regular OB had to prescribe it) . My out of pocket cost would have been $500 a month which we couldn't afford. I left the pharmacy in tears. Multiple phone calls to my Dr finally got me that Zofran prescription. Dont be afraid to speak up or switch OBs if your concerns or symptoms aren't being addressed!
@Tosha, on top of everything else, it’s terrible that you had to fight for your family and baby to survive!
Thank you for this post! I think it will help many who may be suffering. Your recommendations are so spot on. I had HG during all 3 pregnancies. My first pregnancy was during medical school and I would get sick anytime I was sitting or standing up. I spent months in bed and looked forward to falling asleep to have a short break from the emesis. I only went in for exams and would sit by the door so I could rush out when/if I got sick. I lost over 20% of my body weight and had fear that my baby would suffer if I couldn’t keep anything down. I can’t count the number of times people would ask (in a condescending way) if this was my first pregnancy and if anyone had told me to try crackers by the bed before I get up in the morning. Yes, of course…many times… it didn’t help at all. I tried calling my doctor’s office and the nurses would tell me most women have “morning sickness” and that they didn’t see women for routine pregnancy before 12 weeks and that many pregnancies end in miscarriage and to call if that occurred. By the time I went in for my first appointment at 12 weeks I was severely dehydrated and could hardly stand. I had to be hospitalized for a week to get the emesis under control and get enough IV fluids to start to reverse some of the kidney damage. My emesis was not just in the morning- it lasted all day. It didn’t stop after the first trimester as many say it will. And it caused significant tooth damage. After each pregnancy I have to get a lot of dental work done.
I feel fortunate that all 3 of my babies were healthy and that with my subsequent pregnancies my providers helped with a proactive plan including Zofran and standing orders for IV fluids when I needed them. Sucking on ice chips provided some relief. W/ pregnancies 2 and 3, I told my family/friends/work right away (as there was really no way to hide it with frequent emesis) rather than trying to wait until we were pst the first trimester and the highest risk of miscarriage.
I couldn’t handle cooking food with the odors so friends bringing meals was so helpful. For newly pregnant mom’s going through HG, don’t hesitate to advocate for yourself. Losing significant weight in pregnancy is not normal!
Oh my goodness, that first pregnancy experience sounds just awful. I cannot even imagine trying to get through medical school during that. You are some kind of superhero!
I had tons of fillings particularly after my first pregnancy. I think all the stomach acid did its thing on any slightly vulnerable spots.
And yes, it is quite impossible to keep a pregnancy secret if you are so sick. You have to tell people who are close to you!
Such great advice. I fortunately only had morning sickness in all of my pregnancies through about 16 weeks, and that was all I felt I could take. You poor thing!
Our son had severe, severe eczema when he was younger, and nothing worked to relieve him until he went through several years of allergy shots. One of the three worst cases his pediatrician had ever seen, she told me. We tried everything: Raw milk, elimination diets, prescription ointments from dermatologists, wet pajamas, chiropractors, hemp oil. I know intentions were good, but it would infuriate me when someone would see his skin and suggest something like trying Aveno Eczema lotion. Oh, gee. I hadn't thought to get an over-the-counter lotion. I bet that'll solve the problem. 🙂 I know their intentions came from a good place, but it's tough to be treated like you're such a dolt you hadn't tried the simplest solutions.
My little one is 9 months old, and while I don't think I technically had HG, I was nauseous and/or throwing up every afternoon and evening starting at 12 weeks. Mornings were actually my good time!
Around 20 weeks I started taking vitamin B6 and doxylamine (sleep aid) at night, and that would make the next day better, but still not great.
I was so looking forward to giving birth and being back to normal right away, but that didn't happen for me. The nausea stayed for a few weeks after giving birth, and my appetite didn't really come back until 4-5 months (yes, months!) postpartum. So for any other queasy/not hungry new moms out there, it will get better eventually!
On the frugal side of things, I had to give myself a lot of grace about food waste, particularly fresh produce. It took me a while to figure out that I couldn't keep buying the same way, since we weren't consuming the same way. I did finally figure it out, but I still feel a bit of guilt thinking of all the veggies that went bad sitting in the fridge.
We're hoping to have a big family, and I'm a bit nervous to see how future pregnancies go, so thank you for the advice, Kristen!
My nephew's wife had that, and she stopped at two kids. She'd had enough :).
I fear nausea more than I fear pain. I was incredibly fortunate in that I had very, very little morning sickness, it ended early in the pregnancies, I never actually threw up and the old standby of crackers helped my mild nausea, as did making sure my stomach never got empty. I didn't do one darn thing to make myself not get sick all the time while pregnant and people who get sick all the time didn't do anything to get sick! ("All in your head" Jay Tea? And this was a NURSE? Where did she go to nursing school?!!!).
The only time I nearly threw up was when I was pregnant and shopping at a grocery store and saw in the meat counter that they had something they almost never carried - a neatly packaged cow's tongue. I didn't lose it at the sight of that tongue, but I came close.
https://www.hyperemesis.org/
Not sure if you've heard of this organization but they seem to have good advice too.
Reading this post as well as the comments, oh my gosh - I can't believe how willing all of you were to repeat the experience for more children. You are all heroes in my book. I loved being pregnant - it was easy for me. I appreciate this much more having read about all of these experiences. Such brave moms you are!
Thank you for sharing your very personal story.
My massage therapist had serious issues with her own pregnancies. She is trained in massage for pregnant women. That specialty might help someone you know be more comfortable.
Thank you for this post. I knew hyperemesis was a thing, but didn’t realize how horrible or how extended it was. I absolutely hated morning sickness - it took over my life while I had it - but thankfully it ended pretty much on schedule, going into the second trimester each time. I don’t think I’ve known anyone with this condition but if/when I do, I think this will really help me to understand and be supportive.
Not having had HG myself, I was able to support a friend that did with all of her pregnancies, like you. She had one special trick for outings that I thought I would share. I would bring the best sugar cookies, she would eat 3-5, and a few minutes later, do the dirty part, but she used zippy bags so she would make a mess anywhere, and her kids never knew she was ill, nor did she leave a mess for anyone else to find. She kept boxes of them everywhere, the car, her purse, the diaper bag for the previous kids, the chair in the living room, etc. I hope this can be a help for those who have to be someplace other than home and have HG as a part of their life, the end results are usually pretty fabulous!
I had hyperemesis through both pregnancies and realized when my youngest was 14 that I was still keeping an eagle eye on the location of garbage cans when out shopping "just in case." In addition, I had a bad facial eczema flare up and because of the vomiting wound up looking like I had two black eyes and facial bruising. My poor husband was glared at everywhere we went. We had to throw away our Christmas tree before Christmas, change our shampoo and soap, and eventually I could only survive showering by eating grapes one at a time to keep me from throwing up because of the unscented soap we were using.
Pregnancy was not my happiest time, but the kids are a blessing. My best advice is to try whatever sounds good, but not to feel bad about yourself if nothing works. Suffering is not a sign of weakness. And you're not responsible for other people's solutions not working for you.
I didn't get the facial bruising, but when I read your comment, I remembered that I had popped blood vessels all over my face and arms from throwing up. Not fun times.
I'm glad for both you and me that that stage of life is over! 🙂
@GWinter, soap made me sick too. My poor husband wasn't allowed to use body wash for months. I was in the soap aisle sniffing different soaps trying to find one that didnt make me gag. I can find the humor in it now but it was miserable.
The nausea seems to run in my family. When she was pregnant, my Mom was so nauseated by cooking smells that my Dad lived off of peanut butter on toast for months until even the peanut butter was too smelly for her. Then it was dry toast followed by brushing his teeth vigorously. With some pregnancies, everyone suffers!
Gosh, I SO relate to this post. I was SO sick when I was pregnant. I threw up in every grocery store in the neighborhood. Smells were the worst. Thankfully it all resulted in a perfect little girl who I wouldn't trade for the entire world.
Ugh, this is why I only have two children. 20 weeks with the first, which I thought was bad at the time. 42 weeks with the second. Even with the in-between pregnancy in which the foetus sadly only survived to 9 weeks but stayed in place (called a "missed miscarriage"), I was still throwing up when I finally got the necessary termination at 16 weeks. That made it so much harder to process the situation - why didn't my body know this should be over?
People, don't recommend ginger. It doesn't work and I still can't touch the stuff now. Acupressure wrist bands don't work either.
@Sarah G UK, I was not diagnosed with HG, but I suffered the all day nausea and vomiting for at least the first trimester when I was pregnant with each of my 7 children. (It lasted well into the 2nd trimester with the last few. ) So many of the comments bring back such vivid and unpleasant memories.
After pregnancy #4, I gained another weapon in my arsenal to fight the mental battle. I had 2 miscarriages, and for these 2 pregnancies, I had little to no nausea or vomiting. My midwife told me that pregnancies accompanied by the nausea and vomiting were less likely to end in miscarriage. So with each subsequent pregnancy, my mantra was, “I can handle this if it means I can hold my baby someday.”
On the lighter side, my toddlers often figured out how to mimic my retching noises in a surprisingly accurate and hilarious way.
Yep, I tried both of those things. The acupressure wrist bands only helped because I put a nice-smelling oil on them and then I could lift them up to my nose and smell them when I was at the grocery store (a place full of terrible smells when you are nauseous!)
And I'm so sorry to hear of the awful time with your in-between pregnancy; that's so hard.
I wasn't diagnosed with HG, but I was very sick with my pregnancy. I couldn't go anywhere, do anything, threw up all day. I was sick till delivery, though the last two or three months I did have several days each week where I didn't throw up. It was pretty much miserable. No one, except for my husband, offered any sort of help. I wasn't going to church, and the phone calls and emails kind of evaporated after the first month. It was a lonely experience.
I think the worst thing someone said, when I was almost 2 weeks overdue, was that it was nice, because my husband and I had extra time to just be the two of us. It was NOT nice because I couldn't even kiss him without gagging. And also, we went through 7 years of infertility before I got pregnant so we had had plenty of time just the two of us! At least I can laugh about what they said now.
I guess the other thing was, that someone I knew said that she had it worse, so I should be thankful. She later apologized.
When my sisters have had morning sickness, they compare what they're going through to my experience, and say it isn't as bad or whatever, and I always, always say it isn't a contest!! And that it feels gross and yucky right now, and I'm not the one going through it right now!
@Roslyn,
What a terrible response! Would anyone say: I don't believe in diabetes/heart failure/broken bones:you name it so I never had that condition?
The only conditions where I hear this type of response typically is in hormone-related ones: periods, pregnancy and menopause. Hm, what do they have in common, patient-wise?
(I have been very fortunate in not having many issues in either. This post has, again, made me very thankful for.that!)
@J NL, yes, people say that all the time. Mental health conditions especially people will decide are not real. But lots of chronic pain conditions, autoimmune issues, etc.
"To have great pain is to have certainty; to hear that another person has pain is to have doubt."
- Elaine Scarry
Nobody told me there was a name for it But there was nothing to take back in my day I found i could not take the vitamins. I would just get over the morning sensation, take the vitamin, and the next meal would return. I existed on Breakstone pineapple cottage cheese and crackers--only Breakstone. And i don't like cottage cheese. Also, summer humidity did not help. I happily went to work where there was air conditioning. That helped.
Cottage cheese is a pretty healthy option if you are going to choose one food! That's better than my popsicles. Or the cheese puffs I inexplicably wanted.
All of you wonderful brave women who went through awful pregnancies get a standing ovation from me! Kristen, I think your hard pregnancies will make you extra sensitive to your patients, regardless of what kind of nursing you go into. I have had to shake my head numerous times throughout the years of working in health care--clueless comments aren't just directed at pregnant women. I think most people have good intentions, but the safest thing to say if you don't know what to say is, "I'm so sorry to hear you are going through this".
Any suggestions for how to word your offers for help? I have been specific with my offers to friends in situations like this, but have yet to have anyone take me up on the offer to vacuum/clean the bathroom (I would have LOVED to have been offered help with that after my 2 C-sections, when I was on lifting restrictions and scrubbing out a tub was miserable!). Taking meals seems to be what people feel comfortable accepting.
Kristen, you and your fellow sufferers are very tough women.
I had daily pregnancy nausea that didn't start until around 4 p.m. every day. Since no one had heard of it, they were quite skeptical that it was a real thing, but I was fiercely ill from 4 p.m. until past midnight every day. Could not stand to cook dinner but my husband had to eat, so I would put a pork chop in a skillet, get up from the sofa to turn it over once, slam the lid back on and go back to the sofa to lie down with a cold, wet cloth over my face. When I judged it was done, I'd turn off the burner and stagger back to the sofa.
Because I wasn't sleeping much, I looked dreadful at work in the mornings, which seemed to make my colleagues feel better about my weird pregnancy symptoms.
Ohhhhhhhh man, I'm so impressed that you made it through 4 pregnancies with this! My two kids are almost 12 years apart partially because of HG. With my son (1st baby), it was a NIGHTMARE. CONSTANT ER trips to be rehydrated, being hospitalized immediately after my (early) first doctor's appointment, back in the hospital a week and a half later. I was so, so sick; movement of any kind made me throw up, so I basically just existed and tried not to move at all, ever. With my daughter, the nausea wasn't so intense, and thankfully no hospitalizations or ER trips, but it lasted through the entire pregnancy, and I had to be medicated with her the entire time (which, of course, insurance didn't pay for, because why on earth would a pregnant woman need to do such silly, frivolous things like consume food and remain hydrated??? So selfish of me, right???).
Other advice for people who love someone with HG: offer to watch the baby when Mom goes to the dentist after she gives birth. I had so. much. dental work. (*sob*) after I had my son; zero nutrition combined with months of vomiting does your teeth no favors, and people with HG may need many appointments to fix the damage done. Help out whenever possible.
My goodness, I cannot believe that your insurance wouldn't cover your meds. Ugh.
@Kristen,
Pip had a mix of Zofran ($100 every third day), Maxolon and Periactin ( for the nausea and her severe migraines. I went almost broke keeping her in medicines. I won't go into why as it was such an impossible situation. Zofran is only subsidised for cancer patients here). She is contemplating number two but is so concerned about her history and that her migraines have been so bad she has cut her working hours.
When she was one day off 37 weeks her waters broke. After two hours in Emergency they decided they would admit her and augment her labour in the morning. Pip lost it. She put her head out of the emesis bag and said no way she was done. She was in so much discomfort and a few minutes later I thought she was in transition...she was because 40 minutes after the plan was announced the baby was here. Delivery was a cure.
Yes! Delivery was such a magical cure for me...almost instantaneously I felt better. So amazing.
I am so sorry that your daughter had such a rough time!
I had hyperemesis on the first two days of my period every month from the time I was 14 until I turned 18. It was hell, but it was also my reality so I learned to deal. Many years later, my elder sister got pregnant, experienced morning sickness for the first time and called me to apologise “I wasn’t nearly sympathetic enough” she said.
HG was my biggest fear when I got pregnant last year, but fortunately the nausea passed at 16 weeks. I did then lose my appetite for the remaining 25 weeks, which sucked, but was still better than being sick. Unfortunately, my body announced the onset of labour by tossing my cookies, and nothing stayed down for the next three days, which was hard.
I had all day nausea over my 3 pregnancies, first for about 20 weeks, then about 30ish weeks, then for the last pretty much the whole pregnancy. I didn't puke, thankfully especially seeing all the teeth and other problems from that (sad for those who had this!) but sometimes I really wished I could vomit so that I could at least have a bit of relief even for a few minutes after vomiting. I know that sounds naive, but the nausea just just made lose all logic sometimes.
For my nausea, nothing worked consistently. For the first one it was all about the ginger and then I wasn't able to to eat ginger for years, sometimes only eggs would do, and a week later the smell of cooking eggs would almost make me lose my mind. My husband was not allowed to cook meat while I was in the house, I wanted to eat meat I just could NOT smell it while cooking, I just couldn't even. And other times I would ask him to make something and as soon as I smelled it my nausea would hit me like a truck and I just couldn't eat it, or anything. Poor guy, he really tried!
For my first pregnancy what worked was I walked around all day with a lunchbag with small containers of lots of different foods, about 10-15, and when I got hungry I would open them until I could find one food I could stand to eat at that moment. It changed each time! it was honestly horrible and I cried so many times from feeling crazy that I couldn't even know what I wanted to eat. One of my friends thought I was depressed or had developed an eating disorder because she would see me with my thousand little bits of food and it just didn't make sense. She was so relieved when we told her I was pregnant! we still laugh about that sometimes.
I was so angry and jealous at friends who would say how they loved being pregnant. UGH! I loved the idea of being pregnant, but I was just not a very happy pregnant person! On the other hand, I loved giving birth. All 3 were home births, with midwives (UK and Canada) and I felt SO Powerful, I am woman, I created a human! wow! So now when someone tells me they loved being pregnant, I just say that I loved giving birth and then we are both equally mystified at each other hehe
Thank you for sharing this info! I can't imagine feeling sick for 9 straight months. It never ceases to amaze me that women can grow actual humans (!!!) in their bodies, and I am sad that even today women who experience difficulties during their pregnancy are dismissed as sensitive, dramatic or not tough enough. I'm sorry you had to go through that.
I also think your last advice is so useful in many situations. Often when we know others are going through a difficult time, we withdraw because we think we need to provide solutions and "we don't know what to say". Most of the time, all we need to do is acknowledge someones situation and say, hey, that sucks.
I know this is off the main point, but I am filled with admiration for your college aged brother coming over to help you. What a good guy!
I know, right? Such a stellar little brother!!
I don’t really have any advice other agreeing with everything you said especially about the ‘take it one day at a time’. I have five kids and with each pregnancy it got worse just like yours. I couldn’t even take zofran. It didn’t help at all.
I became depressed in my last pregnancy and looking back now I should’ve gone to the hospital but my husband worked a lot and I had four other kids to take care of with no outside help. It was awful but my kids are definitely worth it. The oldest was 12 so he’d do the best he could to watch the others 8,6,& 3. He helped me immensely.
Hugs to anyone out there experiencing it now.
This is honestly such wonderful advice for anyone who is ill with any condition, not just hyperemesis. Thank you for the thoughtful post.
This is wonderful! Many years ago I had maybe eight or twelve weeks of intermittent nausea, and that was hard! I never had HG. God bless those mothers, including you! Some simply can’t handle it, and that’s painful but understandable, too. I worked with an RN (Ro) who vomited many times every day and struggled to nourish her baby, while caring for other new mothers in the hospital OB department. She felt like a hero to me. Maybe your future in healthcare lies here?
I really would love to work in some pregnancy or baby-related specialty (NICU, postpartum, labor and delivery, etc.) but I know those positions are in high demand. So, I know I might not get to choose that type of work right away.
Oh my goodness! I so identified with the unsolicited advice! I was so tired of hearing things like-have you tried eating crackers or sucking in a mint?! So not helpful!
What I have concluded after reading these comments: people really, really need to stop giving cracker advice to the pregnant people around them. Ha.
Very well stated!
I had HG throughout all three of my pregnancies and oh goodness the depression that sets in on top of the other physical symptoms is rough! Your comment about survival, eat/drink anything and take it one day at a time were spot on. My OB told me to drink Coke if that’s what sounded good — she said “you just need calories right now!”
So true! I often did not even realize how depressed I was feeling until after the pregnancy was over. The dark fog lifted and THEN I realized how dark and foggy it had been while I was pregnant.
Oh my ,Hyperemesis.I am 68 years old and the mention of it brings back the nauseating morning noons and nights… and that vertigo feeling .. (from not eating!!) I will NEVER FORGET those 9 months of sickness.I wanted so BADLY to get pregnant! I took me 4 months (I thought that’s was a long time when I was 20 years old!) but then when I was about 10 minutes pregnant that nausea began and DID NOT LEAVE TILL DELIVERY. There were no meds in the 1970’s/ I was just sicko sicko sicko.I only gained 18 pounds,eventually.. but had an 8 pound healthy baby somehow. My grandmother lived in the same apartment complex and came down and cooked dinner for my husband while I held a cold cloth to my nose.SMELLS made me vomit awfully.
It was so embarrassing.All my friends enjoyed their pregnancies.I thought I would enjoy MINE! My grandmother said ( holding cold rag to my head) “You’ll forget, you’ll forget.”
I never forgot.
I had ONE BABY!
God Bless Zofran and the Moms who endure. !!!!!!
Thanks so much for posting this. I had never heard of HG before my pregnancies, but was severely nauseous months 2-8 both times. I was exhausted, crabby and felt guilty for how unavailable I was to my older child. It was so draining and demoralizing. People quickly wrote off "morning sickness," but it seemed to get through more when I compared it to the nausea and exhaustion from chemo (at the suggestion of my nurse). I will say that Diclegis (the prescription B6/unisom combo) is increasingly covered by insurance. I found out after my last pregnancy that it's not as effective as Zofran, but more commonly prescribed now since it's slightly safer. If we have another I'll be requesting both!