An update from A. Marie
Hey friends; I got an email from reader A. Marie last week, letting me know that her husband, who was in assisted living care for Alzheimer's, had passed.
She wanted to let you all know, since we all have been following along with her journey of caring for her husband through his Alzheimer's. And she didn't want to just throw the update into the comments, so I told her I'd be happy to publish it as a Meet a Reader update.
(Here's A. Marie's original Meet a Reader post.)
_____________________
Here's A. Marie:
I’ll pick up where I left off in my June 1 Thankful Thursday comment. At that time, Dr. Bestest Neighbor and I had just visited DH at his nursing home, and Dr. BN had looked DH over carefully. We concluded that although DH had taken another step down the Alzheimer’s “staircase,” he wasn’t at the bottom yet. The nursing home staff thought the same.
As it turned out, we were all wrong. DH took a sharp turn for the worse late Saturday night. Long story short, he'd again stopped eating, and aspiration pneumonia seemed to be coming on. But we all still thought that his passing might be a matter of days or even a week or so, given his previously good state of physical health.
I spent a few hours at DH’s bedside Sunday morning, and I told him everything I wanted to tell him then, whether he could hear it or not. (Dr. BN and others say that hearing is the last sense to go.)
And I'm so glad I did: He died at about 2 pm Sunday. I went back to the nursing home at about that time as I'd intended, and as I walked into the ward at 2:10, I was greeted by two LPNs: "We were just about to call you..."
They gave me as much time as I wanted to sit with him. Fortunately, I'd remembered to bring the two things I needed most: a handkerchief and my Book of Common Prayer. (There are no lapsed Episcopalians in foxholes.)
I read a few of the prayers for the dying and recently departed that my siblings and I had read at our mother's deathbed back in 2007, and these were comforting.
Then I kissed him for the last time and told him again the two most important things I’d told him in the morning: “You’re the best man I’ve ever known, and the best husband any woman could have wished for.”
I have no plans for a conventional funeral or an immediate memorial service. I'm going to need some time to think about what I want to do and when. But here is his obituary from the funeral home website, for those who would like to see it.
And I want to thank Kristen and everybody else here at The Frugal Girl for the way you have all supported me during the last few stages of this journey. It’s meant more to me than I can say.
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Aww, A. Marie. I wish I could give you a big hug. This part of your post made me cry:
“You’re the best man I’ve ever known, and the best husband any woman could have wished for."
I am both sad for you (it is a terrible loss to be without the best man you've ever known) and also happy for you (because I can only imagine that it feels like a wonderful privilege to have been married to the best man you've ever known.)
You have been such a faithful carer for your DH through all of this, and I know that your DH would have told you that you are the best wife he could have wished for.
I'm sending so much love to you, and I hope you know that all of us will be here to support you as you navigate this new stage of your life.
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And to you, dear readers, I want to say thank you. The fact that A. Marie wanted to share this with all of you is a testament to how you all have shown her love and support. You guys are the best. <3
Dear A. Marie. I am so very sorry for your loss. Every comment on this blog testified to your strong mutual bond. I wish you strength and comfort.
What a wonderful testament, to be the best man you’ve known. I’m so sorry for your loss, A Marie.
A. Marie, my heart is broken for yours. I've read your comments on this blog for years now, and the love you had for Edward always shone through. I don't have a doubt that he too knew what a gem he had in you. It was obvious that you and he loved each other deeply, and had so much fun together. I too am a recent widow (since April). My heart aches for you. As you always kindly say to others, hands across the miles to you, dear friend.
Hugs to you too; I often think of you and the tough road you are traveling.
Oh, my goodness. No words, just a long distance hug.
A. Marie, I am so sorry for your loss. Wonderful you had/took the opportunity to say good-bye to your husband. We were denied this when my husband died because of the restrictions of covid back in spring 2023.
And I feel so very honoured and lucky to be part of this community where readers obviously feel real support.
My thoughts and prayers are with you, A. Marie.
A. Marie, my heart is so heavy for you. The love you shared with your husband is so inspiring, and I pray that will be a comfort to you. I'm so glad you were able to be with your husband and tell him what was so important to share before he passed. I pray comfort and peace to you. Thank you so much for sharing your story and your life with us.
A. Marie,
I am so sorry for your loss. I know you were a wonderful wife and that your husband knew and appreciated that. Thank you for sharing your news with this community. I hope you feel healing virtual hugs coming from me in the mid-Atlantic region.
Kristen,
Know that there are good husbands out there. I have been married to one for 34 years. I think you will find one someday.
I do hope so. Stories such as A. Marie's stir my heart strings and I hope that one day, there is a story like this for me...a different ending, with a different man.
A. Marie - sending you lots of love. Your husband sounds like he was a wonderful man.
I am so sorry A. Marie. And your doctor's right- not only is hearing the last sense to go, our doctors told us (when my MIL was passing) that hearing is heightened toward the end.
A. Marie, I'm so very sorry for your loss. I thank you for loving example to others. My prayers are for you to be comforted. Friend, I am just so sorry.
I’m so sorry for your loss I echo Kristen in saying it must have been such a joy to be married to such a wonderful man.
I am positive that you and I would understand each other's feelings on this immediately, on so many levels.
And I hope one day that you and I will have a kind of love like this to look back on. I imagine that it is a wonderfully bittersweet thing to look back on a long-shared life with a best friend.
A. Marie,
So sorry for your loss!
Do not stand
By my grave, and weep.
I am not there,
I do not sleep—
I am the thousand winds that blow
I am the diamond glints in snow
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle, autumn rain.
As you awake with morning’s hush,
I am the swift, up-flinging rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight,
I am the day transcending night.
Do not stand
By my grave, and cry—
I am not there,
I did not die.
@ellen,
I just love this poem. Thank you for sharing it, and I hope A. Marie finds comfort in it.
Dear A. Marie, I wish that I had words to reply to you in this new place in your life. The ones you will keep receiving are well worn but heartfelt and true. Your loss means that DH is no longer going down a "staircase" but up another. Your releasing him was a beautiful and generous thing. Thank you for sharing your story here and I wish I could give you a hug.
@Elaine N, and A. Marie,
Reading these remarks, I'm thinking of the "staircase to heaven," as in the Led Zepplin song. (Only your DH didn't have to buy it.)
@Elaine N, Wonderfully said!
A. Marie,
I'm so sorry for your loss and so grateful for a small window into your enduring love for each other. May peace and grace be yours in abundance as you grieve.
A. Marie, I am so sorry for your loss. The loss of a husband and the best person you've ever known is heartbreaking. I'm thinking of you and sending my love. Jill
A. Marie, I am so sorry for your loss. You and your husband had an amazing time together. God Bless.
I am so very sorry, A. Marie. Your love for him was always evident and he was quite obviously a very fine man. May flights of angels sing him to his rest.
A. Maria, I am so very sorry for your loss.
Tears and hugs for you, A. Marie. Your husband was a fortunate man to be loved so much by you.
Sending love to you, A. Marie!!
I am so very sorry for your immense loss A.Marie. I lift you wishes of comfort and peace as you walk this path of grieving. May you feel peace in knowing you gave him all the best in his times of need and he is no longer suffering mentally or physically. Take care of you.
I am so sorry for your loss, hugs to you!
Peace be with you, dear A. Marie.
I'm so sorry, A. Marie. He was a lucky man to have had you by his side. God bless you and keep you safe.
Now it's time for you to take care of yourself. Take all the time you need.
Sending you a spiritual hug.
A. Marie. I am so sorry for your loss. Wishing you comfort and peace.
This hit so close to home. What a blessing she was to him as well. The hardest part is all the days that will follow. I will say a prayer for A. Marie this morning and for many to come.
@gina, I agree totally. Thank you for saying what I could not find the words for.
Sending love and light. Big hugs to you.
Dear A. Marie - I'm so sorry for your loss. I can almost feel like I've known your husband, through all you've shared and reflected about his kindness, humor, and vitality. Thank you for making sure we all had a chance to know a bit about this great person. I'm praying for strength and comfort for you.
Dear A. Marie,
I am so sorry to hear of DH’s passing. The love that you shared with one another was evident in your writings, and the grace that you both showed when facing this insidious disease was inspirational. In the days ahead, may your memories of DH and your lives together warm your heart and bring you comfort. I wish you love, peace and strength now and always.
With love, Bee
A. Marie, Sincere condolences on the loss of your husband. Wrap yourself in all those precious memories:)
I am standing upon the seashore. A ship, at my side,
spreads her white sails to the moving breeze and starts
for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength.
I stand and watch her until, at length, she hangs like a speck
of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.
Then, someone at my side says, "There, she is gone"
Gone where?
Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast,
hull and spar as she was when she left my side.
And, she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port.
Her diminished size is in me -- not in her.
And, just at the moment when someone says, "There, she is gone,"
there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices
ready to take up the glad shout, "Here she comes!"
And that is dying...
Death comes in its own time, in its own way.
Death is as unique as the individual experiencing it.
I get such comfort from this poem “Gone From My Sight” by Henry Van Dyke. I am sorry for your loss.
@Diane, this is my favorite, I’m so glad you posted it. I was hoping someone would. It really helped me through grieving too many people recently. (I like to imagine they are all hanging out together on the other side)
@Diane,
I’ve always loved this! Thank you!
A. Marie- my heartfelt condolences on your loss. With great love comes great pain- but it is worth it.
@Diane,
I have never read this before! It's lovely, and prefect. Thank you for posting it.
I’m so very sorry for your loss
Dear A. Marie, I am so sorry to hear your Gentle Giant has passed. Thank you for sharing him with us, and giving a glimpse at what true love looks like. Much love to you and wishes for peace and comfort.
Dear A. Marie what a good friend and loving partner you were to your husband.
I know nothing can replace his presence as he was before Alzheimers but you have the comfort of knowing you did everything you could for him.
I am so sorry for this sad time for you.
God's peace be with you, A. Marie. My heart and eyes are full. I hope knowing this community cares for you offers you comfort.
I'm so sorry for your loss! I'm so glad you were able to be with your husband Sunday morning and could tell him all you needed to at that time! What special moments!
So sorry for your loss
My sincere condolences.
A. Marie, I'm so sorry for you loss. May God comfort you and surround you with the great memories you have. You are blessed to have had a wonderful husband.
I am crying. I had been thinking of A Marie’s recent post this weekend and wondering how things were going. Those of us who have followed her heartfelt, authentic comments throughout their sad chapter feel like we know her and we feel her pain. A Marie I wish you comfort and compassion and the knowledge that you are cared for and admired by so many.
A. Marie: You've been walking a difficult road for years now, but I do wish you gentle passage through this newer difficult journey of grief.
“Tenderly, may time heal your sorrow. Gently, may your friends ease your pain. Softly, may peace replace heartaches. And my warmest memories remain.” — Unknown
A. Marie, what a wonderful eulogy you have given of your best man...it is a true testament to his life he lived that he be remembered so well. Grief to me is like a sneaker wave at the beach, you're walking along enjoying the beach/life and then a
wave of grief gets you. I hope you find peace and joy in the memories of your life together.
My deepest condolences. I wish you comfort and peace at this very difficult time.
A. Marie, I've only been following TFG for a little while but your posts have touched me and I want to express my sympathy. I hope DH's memory will be a blessing and these good wishes will bring you some comfort.
I’m so sorry for your loss A. Marie.
Oh my, I am so sad to hear of your husband's passing. While I don't know you personally and never met him, I can tell from your comments that he was a good man and that he loved you very much and also that you were very much deserving of his love.
A widow I know said to me that losing a spouse is almost like when you retire. You pretty much need one of every milestone before it feels like normal.
The saddest part of a wonderful and happy marriage is that one day it must end. It's something we never want to see coming but statistics state that most of the time, one is left behind. I don't know about marriage in Heaven but I do pray that you two will be reunited in God's Glory together. May you find Peace in Him and in His Love.
As for the immediate, do what needs to be done. Take care of yourself and do something that will make you feel better. If that means sitting inside and binge watching a whole bunch of old comfortable TV shows then so be it. If it means going for a long drive to visit some places you loved in the past. If it means going out to a restaurant that you liked to go to with your departed husband then do so in his honor.
Take care of yourself.
Sending you lots of virtual hugs & support, A Marie. So sorry for your loss.
A. Marie, I am so sorry for your loss. May you find peace, comfort and strength in the days to come as you deal with losing such an incredible part of your life. My prayers will be with you and I hope you reach out to us here if you need to.
I had noticed no recent comments and I had hoped it didn't mean something had happened.
A. Marie, I am, quite literally, crying for you, even though we've never met. I have been so impressed with your courage and so full of admiration for the wonderful marriage you have shared. I'm pulling out my BCP tonight when I get home and praying the prayers for the departed and for you. May you find peace in the midst of your sorrow and joy in the memories of the wonderful person whose life you shared for so long.
A. Marie, I am so very sorry. Wishing for peace and comfort to bolster you through your sorrow. Thank you for sharing.
Dear A. Marie, my sincere condolences for your loss. My heart breaks for you. I didn’t know your husband personally, but I know how much you loved him and how much you will miss him. All of us here in the Frugal Girl community are here for you.
Hi A. Marie,
I missed your comments last week and was worried about you given your previous report about your husband. You were on my heart all last week and I'm sincerely sorry for your immense loss. Losing parents to dementia was bad enough, I can't even imagine the depth of your loss. Even though we're just your online family, I hope you can feel the virtual love and healing everyone is sending.
(((Hugs))) Bobi
A. Marie I am so very sorry for the loss of your husband. Please know that you are in my prayers and thoughts as you navigate this journey. I am a caregiver for family member who has Alzheimers, Dementia and Parkinsons among a host of other physical ailments and it is such a blessing to know someone else who traveled that road ahead of me. Praying for comfort and peace for you during the coming days.
Oh, A. Marie, as I was attending the end of a dear resident's life with her DH by her side, I shared with him a story she had told me, and it made him laugh. And then he said very poignantly, "We have been together a long time...and yet...it hasn't been long." And I cried as I hugged him, because to hear of such enduring love is a blessing. Thank you for sharing your and your DH's life with us. We love you.
Sending positive thoughts and hugs. I’ve read your comments here and at NCA for years. I have always been impressed with your upbeat attitude in the face of tough times. Not sure if you read Out My Window or Sam, Money and Thyme, but they are both recently widowed and have blogged about their experience, You we’re lucky to have a great husband, but I am sure that it makes the loss all that much harder.
A. Marie, what a beautiful love story, even if it was the final chapter. I am so sorry for your loss. I halfway feel I know you since I've been reading and enjoying your posts for the last several months. Your photo with your husband was so sweet -- what a darling couple you were! Now is the time to decompress and start taking real good care of yourself in this next chapter of your life. Since I can't mail you a sympathy card or give you a hug in person, I want to share with you a poem I sent to my late cousin's wife when she was first widowed. ("The Traveler" by James Dillet Freeman, on the Unity video website).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Ka6pStAc9Q
Oh, and give my regards to Dr. Bestest Neighbor and to all the good nurses and staffers at the nursing home. I'm so glad you have/had support from someone.
A. Marie I am so sorry for you lose. It has been a long journey and you are equally a “best spouse ever.”
Love, hugs and prayers to you and yours.
I’m very sorry for your loss, A. Marie. I’m glad you were able to experience such an amazing person in your life and sorry your time together was cut short. I’m sure you, and others that his life touched, will carry him with you for many more years to come.
Ann Marie, I am so sorry you are having to walk this path. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and I hope your memories of such a wonderful husband will bring you comfort.
A. Marie, sweetheart. (((HUGS))) I am so very so sorry. You have very much been on my mind since you wrote about him not looking well, and I have been praying for you both.
Kristen, Thank you for this sensitive post. I was increasingly worried about A. Marie as the week went on. I scanned the comments more quickly each day and finally jumped on Katy's blog to see if I could find her there. Many times I began an email to you, to ask. I didn’t send one, in case I was catastrophizing.
I am so sorry to read this today.
Dear A. Marie,
I am so sorry for your loss. With tears in my eyes I am reading about your lovely DH one more time. You made us feel close to him as well as you and this loss feels personal. Your words are as always direct and also poignant. Please accept my heartfelt and loving good wishes at this difficult time.
Erika
I am sorry for your loss. The part about the best husband needs to include the best wife. Hugs A. Marie
I'm so sorry for your loss, and the many losses you've endured over the years. I wish you peace.
Dear A. Marie I’m so very sorry for your loss. These words don’t feel like enough really but please know I’m praying for you. A quote that I find comforting and I hope you like it also: “Death ends a life, not a relationship”…Mitch Albom
Again, I’m so sorry for your loss and wish you strength and peace as you begin the journey of grieving your wonderful husband.
Beth
My thoughts are with you. May his memory be for a blessing.
A. Marie, I’m so sorry for the loss of the love of your life. May his memory forever be a blessing, until you meet again.
A. Marie,
I am mostly a lurker, but your bravery and full-of-loveness has touched my heart as I've watched you go through this journey. I'm sitting in my office with tears in my eyes, both happy for you to have such a wonderful man in your life and sad because of the obvious reasons. I will be just another piece of straw in the haystack of love and prayers and positive thoughts heading your way.
Angel
I’m so very sorry for your loss, but I’m glad you got the chance to tell him everything before he passed.
What can I add to the heartfelt comments already here!
May his memory be a blessing. Always.
Prayers and hugs to you.
Dear A. Marie, I am sending you my condolences. Your love for your husband shines through, as does his gentle, intelligent spirit, despite disease and loss. Take care.
A. Marie, I am crying for you and a man I never knew in real life. I am so sorry he's gone. Your admiration and love for him and the life you shared was always clear in your comments. Know that I will be holding you close to my heart as you grieve.
A. Marie,
I'm sorry for your loss. Know that we are all thinking and praying for you.
Philippians 4:6,7
may “the peace of God that surpasses all understanding guard your heart and your mental powers by means of Christ Jesus”
A. Marie, it is clear that you and your husband had a loving relationship and that he will be greatly missed. I'm so sorry for your profound loss.
A. Marie, I'm so sorry to hear your sad news. The way you loved him came through every comment you've made here. He must have known in his core, despite what he was going through, how much you cared for him. Wishing you as much peace as possible as quickly as possible.
Dear A. Marie, I am so sorry to hear of your loss--and I appreciate that you shared it with all the readers here. We all practice frugality here, but in the end, these are the things that matter most. I wish you the very best and all the strength you will need going forward.
so very sorry for your loss
A. Marie, so sorry for your loss. May your husband rest in peace in the arms of the Lord.
“Let my last breath speak victory into the world. The race is run and shall be run again, joyfully, and you shall run with me, the territory opened to us like returned laughter or remembered childhood.
“Remember, I was here, and you were here, and together we made a world.”
David Whyte, The Poet As Husband.
@JDinNM, oh that is lovely
A. Marie, I am so sorry for your loss.
I know a number of medical researchers, some who work on Alzheimer's in particular. Thank you for you and your husband's selfless donation; it is much appreciated.
My sincere condolences on the loss of your beloved husband. I pray you find peace and comfort through this difficult time.
A. Marie, I am deeply sorry for your loss. Sending you so many good thoughts as you navigate the coming days, weeks, months, and years. I don't comment here often, but I read every post and look for your comments immediately afterward. Peace be with you, dear internet friend.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Having the best man in your life was and is a blessing. You take your time and do what you feel is best, I still have my son’s ashes from 2 1/2 years ago, you will know when your ready.
A. Marie,
I'm so sorry to hear of your dear husband's passing. My heart goes out to you. May sweet memories of him carry you through your grief and may God grant you peace and comfort <3
I, too am so very sorry for your loss. It sounds like you were very blessed to have had such a wonderful man in your life for as long as you did. Take care of yourself during this difficult time.
I am so sorry for your loss, A. Marie.
I’m so sorry, A. Marie. Thank you for sharing about your wonderful husband with us.
My mother-in-law was widowed in August 2021, and at the end of this month she is finally moving to Michigan to be closer to us. I’m so looking forward to having her close because I know these last two years (and then several years before that when she was caring for him) have been really to tough.
A. Marie: Sending you love, light, prayers and positive energy. I am so sorry for your loss but my heart smiles that he was the best man and husband, what a treasure.
Oh A. Marie... Tearing up and saying prayers for you as I read this. I'm so, so sorry for your loss. It's been evident over the years of FG reading that your love was special. It always made me smile to read about the two of you. I pray that those around you love you well in the midst of your grief.
I will hold you in my heart today A. Marie.
Someone said that grief is “another expression of love”. I hope yours changes from sharp pain to soft remembrance quickly.
A.Marie, May he rest in peace and rise in glory.
A. Marie, I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing with us, and I wish you much comfort and strength for the future.
A. Marie, I am so sorry you have lost your sweet husband both to Alzheimer’s and now to physical death.
Your devotion to him in life was ongoing evidence of your love for him.
I’m sure that your dedication in supporting him in good health and caring for him in his decline helped to make him the “ best” man and husband. It seems that you were beautiful gifts to each other.
Thank you for sharing this update with Kristen and her readers. Also, thank you for sharing the obituary… it is sad but beautiful.
I will remember you in prayer as you move forward one day at a time.
I am so sorry for your loss A. Marie. I am praying for you during this difficult time. Your story was such a lovely testament to your husband.
I’m so sorry for your loss! I’ve been there and I’m sending hugs, thoughts and prayers!
My condolences, A. Marie. May God comfort your heart.
What a beautiful life the two of you crafted together. My heart aches for you.
A. Marie, I am a lurker, seldom commenter. I have followed your journey here and on NCA for several years and feel like I know you.
Sending thoughts and prayers to you. The way that you supported your husband through all of this is a beautiful testament.
My family is currently experiencing this with my father-in-law so it feels especially close today.
I'm so sorry for your loss. But, how wonderful that the last words he heard from you were how much you loved him and how much he meant to you.
I’m so very sorry for your loss. I wish I could give you a hug.
Much love,
Darlene H
A. Marie, I am so very sorry. Losing someone you love is devastating. Know that I am sending thoughts, prayers and love to you. Praying for you to feel God's comfort. Please allow yourself to grieve in whatever way is best for you. There is no right or wrong way or a timeline on how grief works. There will be good days among the hard and vice versa. It is all okay. Thankful that you have many surrounding you that will give you needed support and love. God's Peace to you. <3
A. Marie, I am deeply sorry to hear about your husband. Thank you for sharing all that you have about him and your relationship. It was a beautiful testament to the love and dedication some of us are lucky enough to experience in our lives. I will send you and him much loving-kindness when I meditate tonight.
Dear A.Marie
Really sad to hear this news about your dear gentle giant. I’m heartbroken for you. Hugs from Virginia. I know your local friends will come around you, especially Dr. And Mrs. Bestest Neighbors. Take care and know that a lot of your fellow frugal readers are praying for you.
I am so sorry for your loss, Marie. This was a wonderful tribute to him.
Dear A. Marie,
I am so very sorry for your loss. I remember when you and your DH were just finding out what was going on with DH....you have been such a wonderful, loving caregiver to him throughout his Alzheimer's journey, and I thank you for sharing updates and anecdotes of your life together with us. I am thankful that you were able to share your life with the best man you ever met, and I know in my heart that he felt that way about you. I'm also thankful that you had that opportunity to tell him everything you needed to say....I wonder if he was, in some way, waiting for that final "conversation" to know it was okay to go. Please know that I'll be sending you virtual hugs as you adjust to things over the coming days, weeks, and months.
A. Marie, your tribute to your dear husband was so beautiful. I am sending you love and many gentle hugs. Please know you are not alone on this widowhood journey. Both I and others are walking the path with you.
So sorry for your loss, A. Marie. I will be praying for you.
I am so very sorry for your loss. I wish there was something magical to say when we lose a person in this world but as there really isn't I'm sending across the miles hugs to you. Give yourself some time to grieve and grace while grieving.
All the real tears. Beautiful parting. I'm sorry for your great loss.
I am so very sorry for your overwhelming loss, A. Marie. It’s a comforting thought that wou were able to tell him those most important things you wanted him to know. When precious memories bring you to tears, know that someday those very same memories will warm your heart and bring a little smile to your lips.
Dear A. Marie,
I am so very sorry on the loss of your husband. I also live in CNY, a bit North of you, and when I didn't see a post from you on Kristen's post about air quality when ours was so very bad I was afraid something was wrong. While I wasn't lucky enough to know your wonderful husband I know for sure he was blessed with a wonderful wife.
I am thinking of you and will be keeping you in my prayers in the days and weeks to come.
With Sincere Sympathy,
Barb from CNY
I am so sorry to hear this. I've read along with your story, and you have been such a caring and loving companion all along. Sending you absolutely huge hugs. Please be gentle on yourself during this time of terrible grief. XOXO
A. Marie, my deepest condolences. Sending virtual hugs from across the border.
Sending you so much love xxx
I’m so, so sorry. His passing sounds like it was peaceful, for both of you. You are in my prayers. I salute you on your gallant handling of all that you have been dealt with your husband’s illness. I will keep all of this in mind, for whenever I face it myself.
Dear A. Marie,
I am so sorry for your loss. I join with all the others in this wonderful group in prayers for peace and comfort for you, and in thankfulness for all you shared about your wonderful husband.
I am so sorry for your loss. I reread your post and fell in love with your house all over again. I would love to see your wedding photo but if that is too personal I understand. I hope you are able to remain in your house forever. Your husband was a lucky man to have you by his side.
@Anita Isaac,
Yes, your husband was soooo lucky! May his memory be eternal.
That part made me cry, too.
A. Marie, I am so sorry for your great loss.
A. Marie,
Sincere condolences regarding your husband’s passing.
Dear A. Marie,
I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for your example of grace and faithful love during a hard season.
A Marie,
I am so saddened to hear this news, I'm sending all my love and a big virtual hug your way.
A. Marie. I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s such a touching way you described him. May he rest in peace. Love and strength to you. My father died of dementia and it’s a long goodbye but I think in a way it prepares you for the loss. It was that way for my mother. I wish the same for you.
I am so very sorry for your loss and I appreciate you thinking of us!
Dear A. Marie,
What a sweet goodbye to your husband.
You have been so generous with your stories of love and commitment as you've navigated the drastic changes that were happening in your lives. Thank you for trusting us with this last most precious and heart-tugging piece of news.
I mourn with you, while I celebrate the wonder of your truly lovely husband - someone you absolutely deserved, and someone who would have felt the same about having you in his life. Your sharing of this love has been so wonderful for me to revel in.
May your days be gentle as you move through the next weeks and months. Much love and a big hug for you
Thank you for sharing this. I’ve been reading here and also on the non-consumer advocate for several years about this loving couples journey. Thank you for keeping us all in the loop. I thoughts are with you A. Marie.
Dear A. Marie,
I’m so sorry for the loss of your dear husband. What an incredible honor to have loved and have been married to the best man! May your memories bring you comfort and sustain you.
Best regards,
Susan
I am so sorry. Thank you for sharing your story of losing your beautiful husband. I wish you peace now, and in the days ahead, as you settle into this transition in your life. I pray that you will continue to find many blessings along life's journey.
May he rest in serenity and peace. Thank you for sharing the obituary, he certainly lived a long and full life. The work he did in the building trades alone is a legacy that many families in the area will continue to value. Sending warm regards and my deepest condolences to you.
I'm so sorry for your loss, A. Marie. May his memory be a blessing.
I’m so sorry for your loss. My husband is participating in a pharmaceutical research drug to fight this awful disease. I don’t know you but am giving you virtual hugs and support.
So sorry for your loss. He sounds like a wonderful man and you had a good life together.
My deepest condolences A. Marie.
A. Marie, I am so sorry for your loss and so happy for the life you had before then. It's truly something to be thankful for, even with all the effort that goes into a long partnership. His memory will truly be a blessing. I hope you continue to share your thoughts and memories of Ed and I can't wait to hear how he went from a PhD in English Lit to carpentry.
@WilliamB, Yes, I've been wondering the same thing all day. How wonderful, really, to be able to explore a love without having to make it a career! (I made a lot of assumptions there, I know. I'm sorry if they were all wrong.)
A. Marie, you will be in my thoughts.
Dear A. Marie,
I am so sorry for your loss. I have long admired your faith and grit through all of this. The best man and best husband will always live in your heart and the many little things that remind you of him.
Oh, A.Marie, I am surrounding you with prayers and thoughts of Love.You went through a journey of the Soul that no one wants to have to go through.I read Edward’s obituary and it surely does seem that he WAS a role model, a moral and fine man that others looked up to, and a loving husband to you as well. A life well lived! I am so sorry his life was cut short .Please be sure to keep visiting here .
I hope you are comforted as you read how much we have all been touched by your DH. Many of us are also dealing with this horrible disease in our own families and your generosity in sharing the details through the years has helped me greatly. I know that he would have said you were the best woman he knew and the best wife.
So so sorry for your loss, A. Marie. I love your comments. This post was just so real and touching. I too am a lapsed Episcopalian, but I sat by my dying father's side and read Compline. "Keep watch, Dear Lord, with those who work, or watch, or weep this night..." Many prayers
Dear A.Marie,
I'm so sorry for your loss. Your husband was clearly a wonderful man. I hope you have many happy memories to make you smile ... you are in my prayers for peace and strength.
A Marie, my deepest sympathy. Take care of yourself.
A. Marie,
I am so sorry for your loss. I didn't read your original post until today. I will be thinking of you and praying for your comfort.
I am from your same town, although I have moved from the city to a northern suburb to a smaller, one floor house.
I’m so sorry for your loss, but I’m so glad that you were able to say the things you wanted to say. I’ve lost too many very special people in the last few years and knowing that they knew how much I loved them has been the single greatest source of comfort as the waves of grief come as go. I hope all of these messages help you know that we’ll all be here as you go through these next things. You’ve already done a lot of Very Hard Things, you can do this next bit, too.
May he be remembered for many years. Much love to you!
Oh man, what a strong sentiment that I hope to never have to say: “You’re the best man I’ve ever known, and the best husband any woman could have wished for.”
My heart aches for you, and my eyes are filled with tears. I don't know you, but know that you're in my thoughts <3
Bless your heart, A. Marie, I'm so glad you had enough advance warning to get to say what you wanted to say to him, and I, as a nurse for 45 years, also staunchly believe hearing is the last sense we lose. If you've ever had anesthesia, you know it's true. Just hearing your voice would have been a great comfort to him.
Please take care of yourself and give yourself some grace over the next few months. I imagine you have been losing him little by little for the last while, but it's still a time for grieving, and there is no expiration date on that. My prayers are with you.
A. Marie, thank you for allowing us to participate vicariously with you through this enormous experience. Blessings on you as you adjust to the huge loss in your life. You have shown us how to navigate with grace and humor and gratitude.
I’ve never commented before but I just wanted to wish you my sincere condolences.
Dear A. Marie, I'm so very sorry for your loss. My deepest condolences.
I am so sorry for your loss, A Marie. But what a wonderful thing that you had the time you did with each other, and loved each other so well. I wish you much peace and light and hope for the future.
I am so sorry for your loss. May you find peace and comfort in God’s love.
Psalm 34:18 “The Lord is near to the broken-hearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”
My heart breaks for you. What an incredibly beautiful testament to true love you have shared with us. I am humbled and grateful you have shared with us. My prayers are with you.
Oh, A. Marie. I'm so very sorry for your loss. Sending you love.
I am so very sorry for your loss, A. Marie. I am a regular reader but infrequent commenter here. Your post today brought tears to my eyes--some out of sorrow for your loss, but also some out of joy for you that you got to spend your life with such a wonderful man and be there with him through the end. I wish you much peace in the coming days.
I just loved what you said about your husband. Such a sweet marriage. So sorry for your loss.
A. Marie, I join the resounding chorus of FG readers sending sympathies. I’m sorry for your loss and am so glad you have such wonderful support in your neighbors. Thank you for sharing your great guy with us all.
A Marie, with all my heart, I am so very sorry. Just know you have a huge virtual “family” who care about you.
What a beautiful testimony of the love you shared in your sweet sentiments about your dear husband. You have blessed us with insights into the devoted care of a truly wonderful partnership. Much love and continued hope that your memories will sustain you as you navigate these next steps without your husband. Please know that you have the love of your virtual friends and your real life “bestest neighbors” cheering you on.
Thank you with honoring us throughout these many years with glimpses into your love story, and know that you could not have done anymore to ease his passing. You are a true and faithful companion and I believe you will be reunited in Heaven as your love story will continue. There are windows in Heaven and do something to make your husband smile as he is now free of pains of his mental and physical disabilities. Hugs to you and I hope you see this support when you are feeling stronger of how you have touched our lives too for the better with your caring nature that radiates joy despite the trials you were dealing with.
A. Marie, I have also shed a few tears in thinking of your loss. I’m glad you were able to say what you wanted to your beloved DH. My sympathies are with you as you grieve.
A. Marie, I’m so terribly sorry for your loss. May the memory of your husband be a blessing.
My condolences to you , A. Marie. Thank you for sharing your husband's obituary and letting us see him as you knew him before he was sick. May God comfort you during this time.
A. Marie, I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your journey here. It has helped me to understand more about what a friend in my life is going through. I wish you peace and comfort in the days ahead.
My heart goes out to A. Marie. I lost my Daddy as a result of this horrible disease last September. Hold on to the precious memories you have.
A. Marie...
I'm so sorry.
Another widow of an amazing guy here- my heart is with you, A. Marie, and I’m honored to be a little part of a wonderful community here, where we don’t only share frugal tips! A few days before he died, my husband told me “you are going to have to be brave”, and I have been, mostly. It really helps to know there are many people who care, and I do.
Wow. So hard. May you feel the God of all comfort wrap his loving arms around you in the days and weeks and months ahead!
A. Marie, I am so sorry for your loss. I’ve only been reading the FG blog for a few years, but I halfway feel that I know you from your posts.
The loss of the best person you have ever known is heartbreaking and I’m crying for you as the love for your DH has been so clear through your comments.
Hope that you find comfort in the memories of a long life together and wish you strength and peace.
Mrs. A Marie, I am weeping with you as you mourn your loss but also rejoicing with you that you have beautiful memories to recollect. Thank you for sharing your burden with us. It is the brave thing to do. Too often people carry heavy loads alone convinced of their good reasons for choosing to keep 'it' quiet. Too often people miss opportunities to be reminded that they're not unseen, unheard, or unloved. I pray peace and comfort over you and your family in the coming days, weeks, months and years as you navigate this time of grieving. May God's renewed mercies sustain you day by day. Love a fellow sister in Christ
My condolences! I'm so sorry for your loss, and I do hope that as time passes, you are left with all the wonderful memories.
My sincerest condolences to you A. Marie. Thank you for sharing your love story, sending you prayers during this transition time.
I am so very sorry for your loss.
My thoughts are with you.
My sympathy for the loss of your DH. A.Marie - your quiet heroism and constant love dealing with your DH’s health issues has been an inspiration to many. May you be consoled in your time of grief and may your DH Rest In Peace.
Dear A. Marie,
Thank you for who you are, and for sharing. Sending my love and virtual hugs!
This is such a meaningfull, profound and sad post
until now I was a "stay in the shadows" type of reader", visiting the blog but never commenting. But reading this made even clearer to me how precious this space is, how people feel safe, seen and heard here, so different from other spaces on the internet. I realize now this blog is actually a community of people who share their views on what's most precious in life and the strategies they use to nurture those priorities. Its not about the money, not at all. Its about all the life we can have on our days when we're not stressing about money. Oh how precious that is!
I am unable to form words capable of describing what I felt reading your post A. Marie. I'm deeply sadned for your loss and hope that grace, love and peace guide you through these turbulent, sad waters. Your testimony reminded me of the words of Anne Dillard: "“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives." It sounds to me that your husband and you shared the adventure of a lifetime. Sending you all the love, Priscila
Dear Marie,
My deepest sympathy to you and healing prayers and may the memories continue to comfort you. Thanks so much for sharing your beautiful story. Melissa
A. Marie, so sorry for your loss. Your husband sounded like a lovely man. What a gift to be married for 43 years.
What a lovely tribute and obituary for a sweet and beautiful man. My heart goes out to you and wish you strength and peace in this time. Losing someone twice cannot be easy.
A. Marie
I am so sorry about your loss. All the support both physical and virtual shows how appreciated you are.
A. Marie I’m so sorry to hear of your husband’s passing. I wish I could give you a big hug. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers as I have been.
I’m so very sorry.
A. Marie - I don't normally comment but wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss. Your husband was blessed to have such a devoted wife. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
So sorry for your loss! In my thoughts and prayers. Sending a hug!
Here's a hug for you, A. Marie.