A request, a book I didn't finish, socks + flip-flops, and more
Today's a holiday here in the U.S., so I'm gonna just throw out a few random things in today's post!
1. A preemptive political request
Here in the U.S., we have a presidential election coming up soon. Americans are pretty divided politically, so emotions are running high on all sides.
Speaking of all sides, I know that the commentariat here is comprised of people with diverse political viewpoints. We are here not because we all belong to one political party, but because we share common ground around things like frugal living, caring for the earth, and appreciating the blessings in our lives.
I understand that everyone holds their political views for reasons that feel important to them. I mean, most of us think our particular political views are the correct ones and that those views/policies will most benefit the country.
I also understand that these things do warrant discussion. But I want to make clear that this blog is not the place for those discussions.
There are a million and one other places on the internet (and in real life) where you can discuss the election, the candidates, and politics in general, so let's save that for those places.
I'd like this blog to be an oasis of sorts.
It's sort of like how there are myriad places on the internet where you can be sarcastic and abrasive. I want my blog to be a place of respite from that.
I try very hard to avoid comment moderation and deletion, but please know that if you post something that will disrupt the oasis here, I'm going to remove it.
And that's both because I want this to feel like a safe oasis for everyone, and also because I do not have the time or energy it would take to monitor a bunch of political discussions here. I need to focus on nursing school. 🙂 )
I don't want you to walk on eggshells in your comments after reading this; there has been relatively little political discussion here up to this point, and I appreciate that!
So, don't read this and think, "Omg, what did I post that made Kristen frustrated?" I'm really writing this to prevent things from spiraling in these next few months and to make expectations clear.
If you operate with kindness and consideration, the things you post will probably be just fine. 🙂
2. A medical memoir I cannot recommend
Since I wrote that post with tiny reviews of all the medical memoirs I've read, a small publisher reached out to me to ask if I'd be willing to review one if they sent me a copy.
I said yes, and over summer break, I started reading it.
I am sorry to say that I thought it was....not good.
For one thing, the writing style is dry, with no personality. It was sort of like reading a doctor's note in a medical record, and the characters feel flat and robotic.
Secondly, it really, really needed more editing. For example, there are lots of situations where the same word or phrase is used in consecutive sentences (and not in the artistic way of using repetition.)
Also, you know that rule, "Show, don't tell."? Oh my goodness, there are so many instances where the author needed to follow that recommendation.
In short, a solid editor would have made a lot of changes before publishing the book.
Thirdly, it's quite sexist. I lost count of the number of times the author introduced a female character with descriptors such as "very attractive", "shapely", or "cute and slim".
And the worst case, which made me stop reading, was the chapter where he described a patient as wearing a "white blouse, which was stretched by large breasts."
Then...the doctor asked her if she'd had a boob job!
And the conversation that follows with her and the two doctors is so ridiculous, I just cannot with it.
She says yes, that she did get a boob job, doctor #1 asks her what her husband thinks, the patient says her husband is happy, and then the patient asks doctor #2's opinion on her boob job.*
I quote:
"I'd say your surgeon did a good job." he said, and smiled.
What??? The guy who wrote this book is a psychiatrist, but this reads like some fantasy about what he hopes and wishes an OB/GYN rotation would be: a chance to rate people's boob jobs.
I was so irritated at this point, I quit reading. Life is too short to read books that make me annoyed.
This book is going into my recycling bin, and it will not be on my medical memoir list.
*It is worth noting that every single bit of this boob job story (and yes, that's the term he used, vs. "breast augmentation") is male-centric. We learn what the male doctors think and what her husband thinks, and doctor #2 muses that perhaps she got the boob job because she thought it would help her succeed in her job as a pharmaceutical representative.)
Go read When Breath Becomes Air instead. It's one of the most beautiful books I've ever read, and it's written by a respectful male doctor. Or for a laugh, read Adam Kay's hilarious This is Going to Hurt.
3. I'm so stylish
My work shoes were in my car so I walked out of my house in my compression socks and flip-flops.
Follow me for more style tips.
4. Fake news: 4850%
There's an error in Canvas for our class, so we have astonishingly high grades for a moment.
That's a lotta margin even for me. 😉
But imagine how low-stress the rest of the semester would be if you started out that high!
5. What happens if you fail the math test
A reader was inquiring about what happens at my school if you fail the math test (which means getting more than two problems wrong).
Two days after that, you get one more chance to take it (with all new questions), and if you don't get a 90% that time, you have to sit out the semester.
That failure counts as one of your two strikes, so then if you fail any class at all for the rest of the program, you get removed from the nursing program entirely.
Sooo, if you fail the math exam, then everything after that is extremely high-stakes.
And that is why this exam causes all of us so much stress.
Thank goodness I only have to do this one more time, at the beginning of fourth semester.
Alrighty, that's all I've got for today. 🙂 Enjoy your holiday if you are in the U.S., and I'll see you tomorrow for Five Frugal Things.
Thank you for the recommendation of This is Going to Hurt. I electronically borrowed it from the library.
I like your book review and I agree that your time is too valuable to leave to mediocre writing and questionable descriptions. Your reactions to parts of the book made me laugh.
The kitties look content and happy. So cute.
I wish you luck for every test and pop quiz. I was in a program like that and we all worried about passing every single quiz and test. I did have to re-take a quiz once but in the end, I graduated and made a decent income afterwards. I wish the same for you!
Also, a holiday in Canada - Happy Labour Day, everyone!
Maybe I've been spending too much time digging into generative AI (high school librarian prepping for the brave new world of this year, which for us starts tomorrow), but there is a weird AI vibe about that book. Besides the sexism-bordering-on-misogyny and poor writing/editing, it's hard to substantiate the author (none of the bios will actually name the medical school he attended) and I can't find any tried & true review sources for it. My fav pick in this genre is Being Mortal, beautifully written by a doctor who gains a new perspective on how our medical system supports (or doesn't) a good death when his dad reaches the end of life.
@Shelagh, That’s an interesting thought about the book. I was thinking it was likely it was self-published, given not only the poor editing but the poor choice of anecdote.
My grandmother and mother both had good deaths. I’m pretty sure a big reason is that my mother and father are experienced and determined medical advocates and know how/when to push.
Being Mortal is so good!
I'm reading that James Champion is a psuedonym. Here's a podcast the author was on, so I think he is actually a real person. Unless they REALLY committed to the ruse.. lol https://www.kevinmdpodcast.com/from-medicine-to-fictional-memoir-an-author-psychiatrist-explores-opioids/
@Kristen,
You may be on to something:
Years ago, there was a sexy novel published called "Naked Came the Stranger." A woman claiming to be a housewife/the author actually appeared on a talk show.
Turns out, the book was written by a bunch of male writers who wanted to outdo Erica Jong, Jacquelyn Susann, Jackie Collins, et al. Each guy wrote a chapter, trying to make it more outrageous (dare I say "over the top"?) than the one before. Someone's sister-in-law posed as the writer.
It all came out in the news magazines a month or so later that it was a hoax.
Maybe that's what's going on with your sexist doctor/bad writer.
@Shelagh,
I read Being Mortal based on the recommendations of this readership. It was well worth the wait - our local library did not have it and it was ordered from a library in another part of the country.
When Breath Becomes Air...shed so many tears. Such a beautiful book! Will add the other one to my list! Thanks, and Happy Labor Day!
Yes! His writing is so beautiful. It's still my favorite medical-related memoir, and I have read A LOT of them.
Your #4 reminds me of an online quiz I took a couple years ago getting my second degree. I finished confidently, only to read, “You scored 10 out of 10 correct, but need 100% to go on to the next module.” Um, what now?
Haha, there have been some errors in some of the quizzes so far this semester that are along those lines. It'll say an answer was wrong, and then when you look at the "correct" answer, it's exactly the same one I chose.
@Kristen, it's so frustrating! Being the oldest in the cohort and most in need to get things done in a timely manner also meant I was typically the first to find the problem and email the prof. There were quite a few "Kate has found an error in the textbook/program/score" emails sent out. Saved my classmates a lot of middle-of-the-night panicking when things didn't work out when they finally got around to their work while I was fast asleep. 🙂
Haha, yes, sometimes I worry that my professors are getting tired of me and my emails. lol
@Kate, There should be a Kate in every class!
@Kate,
LOL, my boss is a terrible speller - she fully admits she's not a "word person" - so myself and a co worker have taken on the task of gently correcting her spelling errors (she uses PowerPoint for our meetings, etc.). She is grateful for our assistance. 🙂
@Liz B., that's an impressive boss who knows her weakness and isn't intimidated by getting help!
@JDinNM, my husband is a math professor and I think he would agree! I've tutored my kids - both now in grad school - in the gentle art of letting a teacher know that something is incorrect without making it appear to be a failing on their part.
@Kate, That's definitely an art! One that we should all master.
@Kate,
Lol, I agree! I always start out by saying, "respectfully, [this word] is spelled [that word]....". She really does take it well.
I once had to visit a Doctors on Duty in CA, and was asked by a Dr. If I was getting enough sex?!?! To which I responded, I’m here for a medical professional’s assistance, not an invitation!!!! I promptly left!
That is so ridiculous. Obviously, sometimes it is relevant to inquire about a patient's sex life (like when you're assessing side effects of meds or you're working on treating menopausal symptoms) but this sounds like it was a random and irrelevant question!
@K, I had to go for a work physical once before being hired (does anyone even require them anymore?) and was sent to the company doctor. After the usual vitals, he had me sit on his table (fully clothed) and tested my reflexes, then he said he had to do a 'breast exam' and before I could question or object, he grabbed one in each hand, squeezed and pushed up. I was shocked but what could I do, I needed the job (btw, this was in the '80s.) Years later, the same doctor retired early amid whispers of sexual allegations. Just for perspective here, I live in a rural area where we have one hospital and medical system and this kind of behavior (like that in Kristen's book) was actually quite common at the time.
That is so awful. I'm sorry to hear that he treated you like that!
I did have to get some physical tests done before I got hired at the hospital, but it was mostly blood test types of things. And of course, a urine test that tested for all sorts of drugs (including nicotine).
@K, That's a good one! You told him!!!
@Bobi, That’s terrible. I’m sorry you had to go through that.
@Bobi,
Wow, that's so awful! I'm sorry you were treated that way!
Only you would think to take a picture of Chiquita's back feet, but it's perfect. I love her little legs with her perfect little feet. (Yes, cat lover. I admit it. I'm also a dog lover and a bird lover for balance.)
I appreciate our little oasis here and all you do to maintain it!!
First, Kristen, I applaud your call to keep this blog a place of respite from political and other forms of online strife. I believe that this very reason, among the others you name, is why a lot of us have come here and remain here.
Second, I note that the American medical student book is described on its cover as "a novel," rather than a memoir per se. Granted, most memoirs are fictionalized to some extent--but this one really does seem to be lousy pulp fiction. The recycling bin sounds to me like the best place for it. (Pulp it is, and to pulp it shall return!)
Finally, there is no such thing as irrelevant cat paws. And I'm glad that we get a glimpse of Shelley's as well as Chiquita's today.
That book sounds like he moonlights as a (bad) erotica author. Sheesh! At least I know one doctor to never go go!
I, too, used to always read a book in its entirety even if I hated the book. Then came "The Mango Tree, which won some award and was highlighted in my small town bookstore and I quit the book partway through. After the guilt (book lover thing?) for not finishing something someone poured their heart into, I felt so free, because I would never suffer through another book I disliked again.
Also, compression socks are a certain kind of amazing.
@Shelly,
How do compression socks work? Are they worn only when you need to stand for long periods or are there other situations in which they should be worn?
I wear them because they help prevent swelling in the calves and that helps my legs feel less sore after 12 hours on my feet!
We actually put compression socks on our patients in the hospital a lot because they help keep blood from pooling in the leg veins while people are bedridden. Blood that pools and sits is more prone to clotting, and we don't want patients to get a blood clot.
In school we learned that if you have circulation problems like peripheral artery disease or intermittent claudication, compression socks are not recommended because in those conditions, there's already not enough blood getting to the extremities. The socks would further block the circulation!
So as I understand it, they are good if your veins need compression but not if your arteries are compromised. And they're good for reducing edema.
@Erika JS, If you have poor leg circulation they're good. My family is prone to leg/ankle swelling so I have worn compression socks sometimes but they make my legs itch, so I mostly accept the edema. My sister's legs are so bad (and she has varicose veins which I don't), she wears hers most of the time.
Kristen and @Rose,
Many thanks for these excellent explanations. I had a TIA five years ago and have wondered if I should wear the socks when, for example, on a long-ish flight. I have no ankle swelling, which every doctor checks for but still worry.
Check with your doctor, of course, but the American Heart Association does not say it's necessary except for people who have a lot of risk factors. https://www.heart.org/en/news/2024/06/05/do-you-really-need-compression-socks-on-long-flights
Also (and this is backed up in that same article), while on the plane, you can flex your calf muscles and do ankle rotations to work the lower leg muscles. That will help force your venous blood up your legs and help prevent pooling.
@Erika JS,
I had to wear a thigh high (specially fitted) compression stocking after my laparoscopic knee surgeries, for one of the reasons Kristen mentioned (to help prevent blood clots in my legs). There's a medical supply store in my area that has trained specialists who measure and fit you for the stockings, which I much appreciated. Not cheap, but my fitter applied a 20% off coupon they had on offer at the time! (I didn't have the actual paper coupon with me!)
Kristen and @Liz B.,
I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your insights and experience. The article from the AHA is very helpful, too.
One of our sons and his family live a 4-5 hour flight away. That and the TIA made me look at the socks. I have my annual checkup soon with a new doctor since the former one relocated and I will mention my concerns.
@Liz B., I found out that my Medicare Advantage plan actually pays 100% for compression socks, stockings, and hose!
@Ruth,
Sweet! Yay to your Medicare Advantage plan!
@Erika JS,
You are so welcome! I'd say it's definitely worth asking your new doctor, the next time you see him/her/them. Not all compression stockings require special fitting, but it made my experience very good (no attempting to find the "right" size on my own).
Ah, the fun of online quizzes!
Thank you for making the internet 1000% cuter and kinder with your adorable Chiquita pictures, not to mention the bonus picture of Shelley! She's a lovely cat. Clark says Meow.
That doctor's attitude reminds me of an awful GYN my mom sent me to when I was a teenager. I had had exploratory surgery for hidden appendicitis, so I had a large scar down the middle of my stomach. The GYN pointed at the scar and said, "You go ahead and have a baby, and we can take care of that." I spluttered something about being ONLY sixteen and NOT even married. The nurse standing by looked uncomfortable, but didn't say anything. I went home and told my mom I was never going to that doctor again, that if I needed anything in that area I would just go to our family doctor, who was a woman and who had a slightly better bedside manner! Geez.
And thanks for reminding me about This is Going to Hurt. I read it a while back and will go read it again, it was that good!
@Karen A.,
Your story about that gyn doctor reminded me of my own story - not awful like yours, but I still chuckle about mine - I was in my late 20s, single, unattached, and went for my annual gyn appointment. My gyn doctor, who I liked and respected (I'd been his patient for at least 10 or so years at that point), said something like " so, when are the bambinos coming?". :-0 He was trying to be conversational, personable, etc.....I said something like "uhhh, Dr. P.? I'd like to get married first before having any kids....I realize that's not a requirement, but I'd at least like to be in a relationship". He kind of spluttered, oh my gosh, that's right, you're single, I should have looked at your records...I know he was embarrassed, but we both laughed about it. He was my gyn doctor until he retired.
@Karen A., I am sorry the nurse said nothing to your doc. I had a doctor say something very unprofessional to me while, if you can believe it, I was about to be put under---I mean I literally was in the operating room. The nurse standing by my head said in a very stern voice, "Hey! None of that here." She was quite a bit older than the doc so perhaps had been working at the hospital so long that she did not worry about being fired for telling a doctor off. I was always very thankful.
I also loved the Adam Kay, and I can recommend 'One Life', by Christiaan Barnard.
It was surprising how many doctors (both male and female) that came to check my breasts post surgery behaved as if my breasts were not attached to a person. Only one doctor would chat with me first and see how I was before checking my breasts. The others just focused on my breasts. I was an after thought. The only thing I’ll give to surgeons is that the surgery outcome is a reflection of their skills and that’s something they are judged on and probably competitive about.
Will check the other books out.
I definitely can understand that if you're getting a post-surgery checkup, this makes sense.
But in this story, she was there for a gyn checkup, and before she'd even gotten undressed, he asked her the boob job question. Plus, in the story, no gown was involved. She just unbuttoned her shirt for the exam. And same for the pap smear. Super unprofessional and not at all typical for an American gyn checkup. I have always, always had privacy to get undressed and put a gown on.
I forgot to mention...in the book, after he checked out her boob job, he said, "Now I'm going to need to take a look down there." meaning he needed to do a pap smear. WHAT? No doctor worth his salt says something like that.
Agree 1000% on the politics advice here.I do have strong opinions and I DO LOVE that YOUR BLOG is a respite form all that! Let’s keep it on frugality,nature, sharing of meals and fun-stuff and your nursing journey! Thanks for being a sorely needed oasis!!
Kristen, I may have recommended this before but please read Mountains Beyond Mountains about the incredible life of the late Dr Paul Farmer. I was so inspired by his work that I’ve chosen to donate what I can to Partners in Health ever since.
@Vicki, Thanks for this recommendation. I look forward to reading it. He was an amazing man whose legacy lives on and on.
@JDinNM, Just got it on Kindle for $1.99 (had a lot of credits for opting for non-expedited delivery).
@Vicki, that's an amazing book about an extraordinary man. I was heartbroken to hear that Dr. Farmer died a few years ago.
It's a holiday in Canada today too. We call it Labour Day. The last holiday of the summer, before summer starts.
I won't force myself to finish books I'm not into, either. Or movies. Not that I watch a lot of movies anymore, but if I'm going to commit to two hours of my life, it had better be good.
Incidentally, I DID have time to watch a movie this weekend while my family was gone. I finally watched "Babette's Feast," which someone had recommended to me a long time ago, I think probably because of all the food prep in it. 🙂 I didn't really know what to expect of it, but I really enjoyed it. And then Amazon recommended "Tortilla Soup," to me--another food-heavy movie--and I also really liked that. Two for two!
@kristin@going country, I sense a theme... Try Like Water for Chocolate.
@JDinNM, I haven't yet seen that, and it might have to wait awhile until my family goes on another trip, but thanks for the recommendation. I did really like "Chocolat," so yes, definitely a theme. 🙂
@kristin@going country, The Taste of Things is a French movie about a chef in 1889.
@kristin@going country, There are "family vacations" and then there are "vacations from family" -- both good!
@kristin@going country,
Also, Big Night is another food-heavy movie. I loved it, and probably need to re-watch it.
@JDinNM,
I loved the book, but haven't watched the movie....thank you for the reminder to do so!
@kristin@going country,
Have you seen “Eat Drink Man Woman”?
@Tarynkay, No, but I saw that "Tortilla Soup" is basically a Hispanic version of that, so I was thinking I might try that sometime.
@Liz B., Loved Big Night! Stanley Tucci and Tony Shalhoub-- two of my favorites. I know I have the DVD somewhere ...
@kristin@going country,
Ah, Babettes Feast!
Thanks for reminding me of that beautiful movie.
@JDinNM,
Same, I love them both! Watch Stanley Tucci -Finding Italy if you get the chance....not a movie, but a series - he travels all over Italy (every region) to learn and experience all the different foods of each region. Its wonderful!
@Liz B., Is that on PBS? I have PBS Passport so I'll go online and see if I can find it. Thanks!
Kristen I appreciate you so much. Thank you for continuing to provide an oasis in this blog. Its one of the main reasons I read this blog and respect this community in here. You are all so kind, and this feels safe. What a break this is from feeling stressed.
Thank you! Thanks for creating that rarest of all online things: an angst-free oasis of civility, caring, good humor, movie reviews and useful information about ... just about everything! Oh, and pics of random fuzzy cat feet, not to mention style tips for wearing flip flops. Who could ask for more?! Not me.
Thank you for your comments on our current political race. My parent taught me to leave politics and religion out of my relationships. A political free zone is appreciated.
I usually read 2 blogs every morning -- yours, and Non-consumer advocate. The last several days, NCA doesn't come up when you click on it. Kristen, if you have Katy's email, could you please let her know that she's offline? (Maybe she's out buying her Lear Jet, at long last, LOL!)
I am so sorry you had to suffer through a bad book. I can relate: Here in my city, we have a college professor who thinks she can write -- and can't. At my former jobs at local publications, I used to be assigned to write reviews for her garbage -- and the editor specified favorable reviews. Gag me with a spoon! All her writing was a nightmarish ordeal to have to slog through; you have to be especially non-talented to make our colorful local history sound boring. Which she did! We have a couple of competing publications and the one I worked for wanted me to do a story on her; unknown to us at the time, she had signed some kind of agreement to let the other one have exclusive rights, but she was rude enough not to return our calls. (She could have said "Sorry, no can do," but she didn't, and that caused major problems.) Deadline was upon us and we couldn't get her. At the VERY last minute, I suggested an essay and they let me write and publish mine. Having no other options, they did. It was a big hit! Thus started my essay writing career. And a few months later, the bad author's book was on clearance sale for a dollar at the local bookstore, with no takers; they couldn't GIVE the thing away! So I felt we got the last laugh! (If she or her university ever approaches me again to review her writing, I plan to remind her/them of this inexcusable incident when I say no.)
Meanwhile, I have a ton of chores to finish around the house. This Labor Day, I will really be laboring! Hope all the Commentariat members in the U.S. and Canada will enjoy their day off! And that the rest of you have a happy Monday!
Her blog is loading for me! Maybe try clearing your browser cache and try loading it again?
@Fru-gal Lisa, Many years ago I used to write restaurant reviews for a local arts paper. Yep, you can see where this is going. "But," I would say to the commissioning editor, "A review that must be only positive is not a review." Ugh. On the one hand it paid OK, and a free meal for me and plus-one, on the other the whole game was so ridiculous it annoyed me. Everything's great in your local free arts paper! PLEASE ADVERTISE WITH US. PLEASE. Anyway, I don't do anything for them any more. However, the past few years the paper has had awards for "power women." How many ads did the power women have to buy to get the award?
@Rose,
And, while not that you would have cared, but if every review was positive, and maybe people would go to a reviewed restaurant that was really terrible, and think "sheesh, it got such a great review! That Rose doesn't know a good meal from a terrible meal!!". It would have reflected on YOUR credibility, too, maybe? I get it, it was a free local paper, not the NYT, but still..
@Liz B., A friend of mine is a columnist at the Times. His stories about the work politics there would make your hair curl!
This is the Hamptons so AFAIK, all the restaurants are better than terrible. I do remember this one where all the food was meh, but the bread basket was out of this world. I think I focused a lot on the bread and decor. This wasn't/isn't the Pennysaver, ha, but a reasonably prestigious arts pub. Well, whatever, it was an interesting blip in my career.
@Rose,
You're probably right about the work politics at the NYT....I don't wanna know....(fingers in ears....lalalalala....)
I only recently read (or maybe heard on a podcast?) something about how they come up with their Book Best Seller list....so not what I thought.
And again, yeah, is any restaurant in the Hamptons really terrible? I didn't think of that. I do remember - and this was, ahem, 45ish years ago - my family loved going to a LI restaurant called the Island Inn. I have no clue where it was, but it was right on the water, had very good food, but the bread - the bread!! - was soft, freshly baked, deelish. We always needed at least 3 baskets of bread, like we were lacking for bread elsewhere in our lives. There were typically 4 of us - my parents, myself, and one of my sisters. A review came out after we'd been there several times (maybe in Newsday?), and they were very clear about how bad the bread was. We couldn't believe it! But figured, okay, more bread for us. 🙂
@Liz B., I contacted him a couple months ago because I wanted to write an op ed. Now this friend of mine has had cover stories in the Magazine, won the Pulitzer Prize, is a columnist. He said HE couldn't get an op-ed in the paper--in 20 something years he'd submitted three and all of them ignored. I decided, well, this is just gonna get me annoyed and frustrated so I decided to drop it. Yeesh.
I LOVE medical memoirs so thank you..I will skip that one. Did you post a review that the publisher will see?
Adored When Breath Becomes Air ( has anyone not liked it)?
Have to look for the other one
Welllll, I don't know if they will see this one. But it's a public post! And people who do marketing usually keep track of mentions of whatever they're marketing, so they may see it.
If they do, they will regret having sent me a copy. Oh well. I just cannot give this one a thumbs up.
Thank you for the sweet kitty pictures. I always enjoy them so much. I want to reach out and pet them!
Very much appreciate your oasis, so thank you & to the other readers for allowing this to be that place. Plenty of other places people can engage with political discourse, should they choose.
That book! It sounds made up (not that you made it up, but I just can't even imagine who in the world thought it was a good idea). It's wild. I read romance novels that are less far fetched than that!
And, you are rocking that socks & flops look. 😉
I AM FASHION.
Love the cat pics! As for the book, I hope you submitted an honest review. Authors like this need to hear the truth.
I had the opportunity to review a powerful young adult book recently, and I enjoyed telling the author specifically how amazing his book was. Negative reviews are just as important.
Remember when you said you would never own a cat? Teehee. I guess never say never, right?
Happy Labor Day!
I rewatched a movie I loved when it first came out 25 years ago - The Replacements. I watched it with a new pair of glasses. The sexism was unrestrained and cartoon- like.
I am a 60 year old retired US History teacher. I understand the political upheaval we find ourselves in today has come from revolutionary changes in cultural power structures. This changes have occurred in just a few breathes - evolutionarily speaking.
As the last baby boomer ( December, 1963) I have loved people who grew up with vastly different viewpoints: a grandmother who was born unable to vote; a mother who was a divorced at 55 with no work resume after having raised six kids; and a bright and beautiful son whose voice has been repeatedly silenced in the classroom (literally) because he was a male who came of age during the era of sometimes violent reparations to past injustices.
This is what I teach my students. Democracy is messy. It is a cost well worth paying. If the four pillars of a democratic foundation are maintained, we will emerge from the chaos triumphant: public education to insure and educated voting populace; fair and safe elections; rule of law; and lastly, but most importantly, first amendment rights. The last does not mean you can say whatever you want at anytime you want. It means you may have an appropriate forum to safely express your views. As I taught my students, their first amendment rights did not extend to the expression hate speech, violence, drugs or bullying within the boundaries of my classroom. The purpose of my classroom as a forum was to understand the concepts of bias and argue all sides intelligently.
Your first amendment right , Kristin, extends to safeguarding a forum for like-minded individuals to develop one of the best of American traditions - wise stewardship of the great resources we are so fortunate to enjoy.
Beautifully put, Mary Ann, about what you teach/taught your students!
"As I taught my students, their first amendment rights did not extend to the expression hate speech, violence, drugs or bullying within the boundaries of my classroom. The purpose of my classroom as a forum was to understand the concepts of bias and argue all sides intelligently.”
Hate speech is protected by the First Amendment, according to the Supreme Court. How much First Amendment rights are enforceable in high school is less well defined, but certainly in 1969 the Court rules that students do not "shed their constitutional rights to freedom of speech or expression at the schoolhouse gate."
Obviously, your classroom, your rules, but if someone sued they'd be likely to win.
I am not a legal expert, of course, and I have ZERO experience with the public school system, but I would hope that somewhere there is a right for schools to help a student who is being harassed or bullied by another student.
@Rose,
Not sure what your background is Rose, but hate speech is a crime in California and is vigorously enforced in our school district:
Section 422.6 - Hate crime (a) No person, whether or not acting under color of law, shall by force or threat of force, willfully injure, intimidate, interfere with, oppress, or threaten any other person in the free exercise or enjoyment of any right or privilege secured to him or her by the Constitution. . .
And yes, students DO shed their constitutional rights to freedom of speech and expression in MANY situations since Safety in schools has been judged a more important RIGHT than expression. Your quote refers to students wearing of black armbands to0 protest the Vietnam war. That federal court's ruling as been interpreted very differently at the state level and as a result in California Ed code. For instance, students do not have a right to wear gang colors, clothes that contain slurs of any kind; anything related to pornography/drugs or alcohol. They may NOT listen to certain forms of music or even as a student participate in social media that involves hate crimes. Not only can they be reprimanded at the school level but they can have their crimes penalties be increased at the local level becuase hate speech has been extended under gang related activities. Also, their other rights are abridged ( especially the fourth amendment of search and seizure without a warrant.)
@mary ann,
Oops, sorry for the typos. Info is still solid.
@mary ann, Hear, hear.
@Rose, "Hate speech is protected by the First Amendment, according to the Supreme Court.”
It’s not quite that simple. Speech is protected against governmental interference but not against private, and the considerations of time, place, and manner[1] matter. For example, while you can say something hateful to someone from across the street in downtown, you can’t say it while pounding on that person’s front door. Certainly can’t while holding a lit torch. The classic phrase is you can’t shout “fire” in a crowded theater.
[1] This is the legal jargon.
@WilliamB,
Wish you were one of my students, William. You would have received an A. Also, I would have given you extra credit for proofing my posts. My best students always proofed everything of mine. I was great "live and in person," however 🙂
@Rose, not all hate speech is protected. And free speech meeting head on with religion.. well I'll just say some judges must have been sleeping during Constitutional law classes (of course I also think some judges slept through all classes yet managed to pass the bar).
@WilliamB, it's also funny how people often bring up free speech when they want an excuse to be a jerk to someone. Same with 'telling it how it is'. I often notice those people don't seem to care about 'telling how it is' when someone deserves a compliment.
Nodding vigorously. People say a lot of rude and unkind things in the name of "being a straight-shooter" or "being honest". A little-known fact is that you could just, I don't know, NOT SAY THE THING.
If you think someone's dress is ugly or their house design is woefully out of date, or their hairstyle is bad, you can just be quiet about it, particularly if you have not been asked for your opinion.
Being quiet is not at all equivalent to lying, so I see no validity in the "I'm just being honest" argument.
Thank you for keeping your blog an oasis for all of us. I have many friends and acquaintances that have very different political leanings than I do, so I generally just scroll on past and don't engage. I prefer chat and photos about fuzzy cat feet, frugal ideas, medical memoirs, movies, your nursing school progress, and whatever the Commentariat dreams up.
One of our cats, Lafayette, has messed-up, but cute/fuzzy, front feet, guessing from botched declawing by his previous owners's vet (he came to us as a stray). Fortunately, they don't seem to hurt him or bother him in any way, and we love him wholeheartedly.
I tested positive for Covid on Saturday, then negative yesterday? Maybe self-tester error? But have sinus infection symptoms, so I've been taking it easy. Reading a lot - thank you for that book review, definitely one to avoid - drinking plenty of fluids, and doing my NYT puzzles. My wonderful doctor prescribed doxycycline and a steroid pack, which has worked wonders. I can't take Paxlovid, as it would interact with pretty much every medication I take. Good information to have, moving forward.
Also, I feel zero guilt about stopping reading or listening to books that don't pull me in. I tried listening to Where The Crawdads Sing, and just couldn't (maybe I need to read the physical book - sometimes, the narrator can make a difference in liking/not liking an audiobook). I also couldn't stand My Brilliant Friend by Elena Ferrante, which the NYT made their #1 on their "100 best books of the 21st century". Not yucking anyone's yum,
I've read loads of books I've loved and re-read, and I sometimes do give books I've passed on a second try.
Happy Labor/Labour Day to US and Canadian readers!
@Liz B., THANK YOU!! You are the first person who says she did not like Where the Crawdads Sing. I thought I was alone in that opinion.
@Liz B., I also didn't like My Brilliant Friend (I didn't finish it even). Too violent imo.
@Liz B., I agree with you about both books. I read a lot and rarely have the reaction I did-which was clear boredom. Didn’t finish either, nor the sequels to My Brilliant Friend. Imo, many books published nowadays need a strong editor.
@Liz B., I wasn't a massive fan of Where the Crawdads Sing but I adored My Brilliant Friend and the rest of the books! I need to finish the TV series but also need to steel my heart first.
Did you quit reading more so because of the offense or because of the poor writing?
I recently finished James Kunstler’s “World Made By Hand” series even though it was SOOO sexist that I kept yelling at the book. I can’t abide poor writing, though!
The offense. I was willing to sit through the poor writing for the educational experience the book offered, but the sexism is what made me quit!
I'm so glad you gave that book a bad rating. Does this man not know what year he is living in?
Also, about political commentary, I'm so glad you made your boundaries clear. Another blog that I liked was authored by a woman who *would not* stop inserting her political views in every presentation, and removing anyone's response who disagreed with her. I had to finally stop reading it. I really appreciate your oasis.
I wanted to be like, "Are you from the past???" lol
I know your field of medical expertise is most likely not psychiatry but I just finished "Hidden Valley Road" by Robert Kolker. It is a fascinating non-fiction about a family of 12 kids, 10 boys and 2 girls, of which 6 of the boys developed schizophrenia. It details the family's story, the background on research on schizophrenia and its origins, and how the family became one of the most studied over decades to understand the mental illness.
Ohhhhh, I should check this out because I am currently learning about schizophrenia!
@Kristen, I recommended it Thursday.
Ohhh man I must have missed it. I was in the thick of hell week at school then, and probably did not read all the comments thoroughly!
@Mary, I agree, wonderful book. My nephew has that diagnosis and his father (my brother) tormented himself for years that he caused it through poor parenting. This book gave him a lot of peace and information.
@Lindsey, A dear friend of mine has a schizophrenic son. We'd probably be romantic partners except I'm not moving from where I live and he's not moving from Tucson and also he has this son to care for permanently. It's really so terrible a disease.
@Lindsey, SO much is unknown about the mental illness. The general consensus is that there is a genetic component, though that's not universally agreed upon by experts. Through blood/DNA research of families with multiple schizophrenic members (including the Galvin family of the book), two genes were isolated. But there are still theories: if the gene predisposes someone to the illness, why do some siblings become ill and others not? Are there triggers (violence, abuse, trauma) for the illness? Nature vs: nurture, or some of both? I almost hesitated reading the book because of the depressing factor, but it turned out to be very fascinating.
The info we are learning in school says that there is a genetic predisposition, but that life experiences can be a trigger that sends someone over the edge into the mental illness.
But also, yes, there is a whole lot that we do not understand about mental illnesses!
Thank you for your refreshing blog. You make me laugh!!
The 2 strikes and you are out seems very harsh. Is this for every nursing program in the US? but maybe this will make good, solid nurses!!
I am in Canada. it is not like this at all!!
It varies from school to school, but I do think that nursing schools tend to be pretty strict. However, mine is known for being one of the hardest programs in the area.
I know a friend said at her school, they only have a math exam in semester one. But we have it in every single semester.
On the upside, hospitals love to hire nurses from my school because my school tends to turn out high-quality nurses.
@Kristen,
Huh. This brings up a question I hadn’t thought of before. Would you leave the area in which you live to take an offer from (or even apply to) a distant hospital?
You’re in a rental so not tied down in that way. Suppose a hospital farther afield offered things that are extra attractive? Would you change towns, counties, or states?
Yup, that's one of the reasons I'm not buying a house right now. I'm open to relocating to another area (but not one any muggier than where I am now. lol Sooo....Florida hospitals are out.)
Kristen, there is always Alaska! No muggy weather here. And no private equity firms taking over the hospital!
Thank you for keeping your site free of politics and full of kindness and cute cat feet! I so appreciate the oasis you provide for us here.
I’ve been offline as I finish my visit with my sister but I decided to check in today.
I also quit books I don’t like. I think it was some of the fiction I was forced to read in college that made me determine never to read a book I hated again. I can remember how much I despised a book that had the protagonist voluntarily marry her bucolic rapist and also implied that American poor people lack the capacity to be clean.
And THANK YOU for keeping out politics. I have ceased following blogs that got political.
@JD, The older I get, the less inclined I am to stick with anything (books, movies, even --maybe especially -- people!) that don't grab me pretty darn quick. "Next!" is my new favorite word, "I'm not spending my time on this" is what I'm muttering to myself more and more.
I just loved your photo illustrations of how you felt reading that book! LOL The cover is terrible too. It makes me wonder if the publisher is even legit or one of those "pay us and we will publish whatever" situations.
Compression socks/flip-flops/more style tips... ROFL!!!!!
Just call me The Style Girl.
First off, there’s something gross and arrogant about that book cover of American med student. Like heebee jeebies!
I’m sorry you had to waste even one second of that awful, sexist garbage.
I recommend the book “When Breath Becomes Air” to everyone.
Dr Kalanathi left quite a legacy
Cute kitty feet!
For a couple of medical memoirs a million times better than that one, I highly recommend "Another Country, Not My Own" and "The Tennis Partner" by Abraham Verghese.
@Ruby, Loved "Another Country." He's a brilliant writer.
@Ruby,
I live Abraham Verghese. I've read every book he's written.
Thanks for the cat photos and the book recommendations.
Oh my am I the only one a little concerned that this man is a practicing psychiatrist? Like is this what he’s secretly thinking about his patients? Or is this what he thinks normal human interactions are? Particularly the patients seeing a psychiatrist are a fairly vulnerable population, and this is what he is writing about? I know sometimes doctors are held to a higher standard of conduct which isn’t always fair but this seems concerning. How could you go from years of being a doctor to writing like that about medicine and patient interactions without that being a little bit your personality? Like I’ve been a nurse a long time I could NEVER write something like that about a patient even as fiction. And my sense of humor is black like a moonless night, I will joke about pretty much anything at work.
I really do not understand it. It's clear from the book that he has a lot of practical medical knowledge, but I am disturbed by his attitudes and thoughts.
Geez why am I not surprised that a male medical student (who I fervently hope *never* became an MD of any sort) wrote that book. The "focus" of their attention should have said a female surgeon did the work. A quick search a) gave me the publisher that I shall avoid and b) was another book written by an alleged resident of Appalachia my mother would have called pure BS. Hopefully in the fiction section.
Thank you so much for keeping your blog free of politics. It's so nice to have a break! It feels like almost everything is politically charged lately, and it's so nice to have something that isn't.
Hi Kristen, I rarely post but I love reading your blog. I had to make a post though because that Math test situation is crazy!! I totally understand the need to be able to do math as key to your job but to make passing a stressful test where an error is very easy to make sounds so extreme. So, someone who may be able to get through all of the courses and just bombs intense math can't be a nurse?
Yep; you have to be able to get through the math to graduate the program!
Your math test gives me flash backs to college. I was in journalism school and had to take a spelling and grammar test to graduate. Makes sense right? You want a journalist to use proper grammar. It was nicknamed the grammar slammer, and it was quite possibly the hardest and most stressful test I had in college, and I had to take it twice (first time missed it by 1 point). Glad to hear you passed!!!