Did you incur a late fee?
Have you forgotten to pay a bill and been charged interest?
Did you miss the return window on a purchase?
Did cancelling that appointment slip your mind? The one where you have to pay the full amount?
Maybe you broke something expensive or botched a repair.
Maybe you left a big piece of meat out on the counter overnight.
Whatever the mistake, if you need some unhelpful ways to deal with it, today’s post is for you!
1. Ruminate on the mistake.
Make a point of dwelling on it. During the day is good, but nighttime is especially effective because you are less rational then.
2. Think about all the ways you could have prevented this.
Since you can’t go back and change the past, this is a super good way to feel depressed.
There are SO MANY smart choices you would make if you got to go back in time. But you can’t!
3. Think about how many frugal activities this mistake erases.
Sure, you made a $20 eBay sale last week, but your $100 mistake has negated FIVE $20 eBay sales.
You saved $10 on your grocery bill, but that was kind of pointless when you melted your $50 kettle on the stove.
The spending and saving events are independent (you’d have melted the kettle regardless of your grocery spending), but don’t let that stop you.
Make them dependent in your mind to maximize your guilt.
4. Make unrealistic plans to “recoup” that money.
If you made a $150 mistake, maybe you can just starve for the next month, and then you’ll break even.
5. Give up on frugality altogether.
I mean, if you made a $100 mistake today, why even bother cooking dinner? Time for takeout!
Takeout is going to be kind of cheap compared to the big error you made anyway.
___________________
I’m sure this is not an exhaustive list, so if you have a surefire way of beating yourself up over a money mistake, please share in the comments!
P.S. I hope this is obvious, but I am able to make this list because I have lots of experience with feeling bad about money mistakes. In fact, this post was inspired by a $150 mistake I made just last week. 
Robyn S says
I’m super guilty of #3 and it doesn’t necessarily have to be because of a mistake, but simply a life’s happening. So, my husband may bring home a great paycheck one week and then the next week the car breaks down and I will think “Well there goes the extra money. We just can’t get ahead!” But reading these comments reminds me that we all make mistakes and we all have money problems. It is just the way life is
Susan says
Stopped beating myself up over stuff. It is not worth it
I will tell you I cut of the following habits: 1. Ordering crap I see online like the garden gloves with claws…useless. The 18.88 linen dress that looks like shit. The backless espadrilles that had backs on them in the picture. 2. Cut out 3 weekends a month of thrift store shopping. Only graze thru them on one week end a month. 3. Could kill myself over food waste. Started eating on sale mixed greens in plastic box. Three per week right out of container w sliced onion and pecans and ONE bottle of blue cheese…..not TWENTY choices of salad dressing. M, T, W are salad days. 4. Guilty of a margarita or two at restaurant when dollar cans are avail at Kroger. 5. Sure lots of quaint cute cheap old pieces of furniture out there. Beat myself up about not having a big house. Passed up an old round top trunk this week. So I really thought I had energy to wash it. Air it and paste some cool wall paper inside?…
Barb F. says
Bought a pork roast marked down at Sam’s. Smelled funky, but bought it anyway. Even after freezing I couldn’t justify the risk of making someone sick. In the trash it went. Also, recently bought 2 chickens to make a dish to share with another family. Couple of days trying to get to actually cooking them, but still okay. Got them cooked, another couple days to get around to picking it all off the bones (till 11 p.m. one night). More days…, went to make the recipe, too stinky to use. Open wide Mr. Trash can! My resulting behavior? Not beating myself up, but crying, as if that will help. Fatigue may have played a part in that.
Sandra says
Don’t forget, ” that’s what you get for being so cheap ”
Learn Joshua, learn!
Jen says
I, too, have done all of the ones you mentioned, Kristen, and many or all of the ones your responders mentioned! And then some! This made my laugh for the most part, but I can even remember a toy I destroyed at around age 7! When I want to feel terrible I can reflect back to that, to make self clearly see how stupid and worthless I am. Well, lol!
But, here’s something I’ve wondered about, and maybe someone scientific can answer: if I rinse and then cook the turkey (that I left out for a day) for a long time, to well over 180 degrees throughout, would it be safe to eat? I realize the texture might not be so great, but might use it in soup or potpie or something moist if it would not kill us. (I did not dare to try this theory last summer on the 10 lbs of “pub-burgers” for a cookout that I left in the trunk of my car in the sun and then overnight.)
Bethel says
It’s funny how the more frugal I get, the more costly mistakes bug me. When I was blowing through money like crazy, it wasn’t a big deal to pay a late fee or waste food…now, those things seem like huge setbacks that negate what I’m trying to achieve, LOL.
This was an excellent post, and the comments are a good reminder that I’m not alone!
Madeline Kasian says
Before I retired, one of my jobs was MEDICAL BILLING: Did you know it is NOT WITHIN THEIR CONTRACT RIGHTS for a doctor’s office to bill you for a “missed appointment?” If you go to a provider on your plan, normally, his/her contract with the insurance company DOES NOT ALLOW THEM to bill you for services NOT RENDERED!!! Fight it! They can get dropped from the insurance company’s plan if caught..
Kristen says
Unfortunately, this is an out-of-network provider. Sigh.
Madeline Kasian says
Blew up the microwave a few months ago.Set what I THOUGHT was the timer, it was the “COOK” function and as it cooked an EMPTY OVEN, it fried the perimeter of the microwave oven and burnt some other areas too.Ugh. I don’t even USE my microwave that much but it looked pretty ugly and well, I do use it some.. so ,had to replace for $200 . That’s life..I felt bad for a day and then got over it.. in the BIG SCHEME OF THINGS.. it’s not so bad….
Archeeto24 says
I really got a lot of Good laughs out of reading the article & comments!!! I can sooo relate, ty!!
Bobi says
First I laughed, then I made my long-suffering husband read this post. He knows all too well that I am guilty of all five! I wanted him to know I’m not alone in this obsessive behavior. Thanks for sharing. Made my day.
Kristen says
You are SO not alone!
Claire says
I’ll add that I’m of the belief that it’s best to “build in” mistakes, just like I like to build in extra time during the day for unexpected events, or a chance to chat with someone I run into. Life never runs perfectly and according to our plans like clockwork, so I prefer to anticipate that mistakes will happen and they are just part of our experience — even a few big ones every year. That way I’m not totally bummed when the I get zinged.
Ann S. says
I did something similar when I bought my first car. I am so stingy about spending money that I know I could very easily work myself up into a frenzy worrying about the price of gas, maintenance, repairs, etc. So I made a deal with myself that I was not going to drive myself crazy over every little thing. That gas station across town has gas for three cents less? Great, but I’m gonna stop at this convenient place on my way home from work. Good enough. Need new tires? Yes, here’s $500, thank you for keeping me safe. No sense in beating myself up over using my car. I mean, what’s the alternative? (I don’t live in a walkable/public transportation area)
I wanted to shift my mindset to accept that cars are expensive and they require money to keep runnng. But that’s why I have a job, to make money to spend on these things. Even accepting that every once in a while that may include a speeding ticket or an accident. “Mistakes will happen and they are just part of our experience.”
Claire says
I locked myself out of my new-to-me home. Of course I tried jiggling the key in the other doorknob for twenty minutes (even though I knew it wouldn’t work). Then in desperation I tried ANY key on me, whether it was for the house or not haha. I finally admitted defeat and called a locksmith: it was early evening on a Friday before a holiday weekend so I braced myself for the charge. Here it comes: trip charge $150, unlock $75, and tax + $239. Fun times!!!
Liz B. says
I know all of these so well! Used most recently after getting a $120 ticket for making a dumb mistake in traffic, when trying to meet a buyer for a $15 Facebook Marketplace sale.
Thanks for the reality check, and for reminding us all of our imperfect humanity.
JD says
All of these. Just — all of these. Yes. What a good idea for a post, because we’ve all done it!
Amy Owen says
What was your $150 mistake? I’m curious.
Kristen says
I did not cancel an appointment in time and I had NO idea that the cancellation charge was $150. Ugh.
Diane C says
Wonder if that’s negotiable? A polite request/explanation might go a long way, although I suspect you’ve already tried that.
Here’s mine: Last week, my husband brought in half of a twin pack of Columbo Turkey from Costco that I’d stuck in the freezer. I was busy preparing 22 batches of oatmeal for his breakfasts. I set it behind me on a towel on the counter. I finished the oatmeal kits, turned off the lights and went to bed. When I woke up in the morning, I remembered the turkey. Aaack! Did I throw it away? No! I stuck it back in the freezer!! I know better than to use it, I guess I just have to get used to the idea that I made a mistake before I can deal with it. Add that to the list please. Freeze your mistakes? Yes indeedy.
Kristen says
Yep, I definitely tried the polite route but it was a no go.
But I will most certainly be very very careful in the future with this provider!
I’m chuckling about your turkey story. You are delaying the inevitable, which we have all done with our freezers before.
Heidi Louise says
You are saving the turkey to put out in your trash when you have shredded bills or statements, (or papers you were too tired to do more than rip a few times rather than shredding). That way, anyone who truly wants to steal your identity will have to work past the smell and really pay for it.
I have a container of chip dip I didn’t finish in time that I am saving for just such a moment. I squeeze in little condiments that fast food places give us unwanted as well.
WilliamB says
Keep this in your pocket when that provider cancels with no notice. They should bear a similar burden that you do, for the same action. I recommend a free appointment.
Madeline Kasian says
Blew up the microwave a few months ago.Set what I THOUGHT was the timer, it was the “COOK” function and as it cooked an EMPTY OVEN, it fried the perimeter of the microwave oven and burnt some other areas too.Ugh. I don’t even USE my microwave that much but it looked pretty ugly and well, I do use it some.. so ,had to replace for $200 . That’s life..I felt bad for a day and then got over it.. in the BIG SCHEME OF THINGS.. it’s not so bad….
Martha says
Telling yourself that your favorite frugal blogger would never ever make such a stupid move, so you don’t deserve to read frugal blogs anymore.
Thank you so much for sharing. It’s always good to be reminded that all of us make mistakes
Susan in Dallas says
I just LOVED all of these. If you can’t laugh at yourself, your life is going to be a struggle. Especially liked, “Remind yourself over and over that your much smarter sister/friend/co-worker would never have made this kind of mistake while you eat Nutella out of the bottle.”
Thanks everyone.
Linda Sand says
Make yourself wear the expensive outfit you hate because you paid so much for it.
Lorraine says
Along with the shoes that hurt but you can’t return because you wore them outside!
nicoleandmaggie says
This describes pretty much my entire summer so far. Thousands of dollars of stupid mistakes. Literally. Not eating out would not erase even one of them (but I seriously considered it). (Usually my first response is to buy a bag of split peas because that’s the cheapest meal I know how to make.)
But… we’re still going to be ok. Thankfully we can return the super expensive electronic product that I got in the wrong size even though it’s engraved (my latest bit of beating myself up for carelessness). The cost of fixing the damage I did to my new car backing out of the garage before I even had license plates was high but not more than a more expensive car would have been. And, best of all, DH did not actually have rabies and if he ever gets bitten by an actually rabid animal, he will survive, even if he starts showing signs of symptoms now that he’s gotten 4 shots of vaccine.
Nicoleandmaggie says
And today’s discovered mistake: 2.5 lb of decaf coffee beans is a LOT of beans. Maybe I shouldn’t be allowed near the computer with my credit card anymore.
Kristen says
Oh dear. I’m so sorry it’s been like that for you and I hope the rest of the summer turns out to be much, much cheaper!
sea says
I think the denting-the-new-car thing happens to a lot of people. This spring I go my first brand-new car in 20 years, and I had it less than 18 hours before I knocked over someone’s mailbox!!! I was dropping my son off at a friend’s, and I’d never met these people before; then I had to explain I knocked over their mailbox! Turned out it wasn’t even theirs, but a neighbor’s. Fortunately, the husband fixed the mailbox that day for his neighbor, but boy was I embarrassed! Haven’t even bothered to get an estimate on the deep scrapes and scratches on my bumper and side of the car.
Angelique Frederiksen says
This is hilarious! Thank you Kirsten.
Darlene says
Remind yourself over and over that your much smarter sister/friend/co-worker would never have made this kind of mistake while you eat Nutella out of the bottle.
Anne says
Darlene, love it , especially the Nutella part
Jem Horwood says
I can so relate to this. Thanks for putting it in this light so I can see how ridiculous it is!
Oh, one more: immediately go and alter your budget lines for anything fun or nice, and add the amount to your debt line. You could have extra fun by bolding, changing text colour or font, or making great, sarcastic use of italics and quotation marks on headings like “Debt repayment”.
WilliamB says
You missed a few:
– Blame someone else;
– Fight with loved ones about the mistake;
– Fight with loved ones about the mistake for weeks to come;
– Don’t try to fix the mistake.
Martha says
Telling yourself that your favorite frugal blogger would never ever make such a stupid move, so you don’t deserve to read frugal blogs anymore.
Thank you so much for sharing. It’s always good to be reminded that all of us make mistakes
Ann S. says
Haha. YES. All of these.
Story time: a few summers ago, my husband and I went blueberry picking at a local farm. While there, someone backed into our car and dented the bumper. Didn’t leave a note. Auto repair shop quoted $800 to fix, which would be out of pocket. I got so upset about those “$800 blueberries” we picked. Do you know how many organic blueberries we could buy with $800? Probably could have even flown to Maine and picked wild blueberries.
All this ruminating and dwelling for something that wasn’t even my fault! In the end, we chose not to have the dent fixed since it was just cosmetic. My dad did the best he could to pop it out. But this is a reminder that life happens, it’s not perfect, and sometimes you gotta roll with it. Making yourself miserable sounds highly illogical in comparison
Kristen says
A few years ago, we were at an amusement park which Mr. FG’s company had rented out for the day. We parked far away, and later in the afternoon I had a chance to move to a closer parking place.
And while the van was parked there, someone back up with a bike rack on the back of their SUV and the prongs of the bike rack went right through my van’s back window.
I REALLY regretted moving from our original parking place!
Stacey says
I don’t think there is anyone this hasn’t happened to. But thank you for putting it out there because we each think we are the only one who experiences this and we do beat ourselves up. I say this as the one who could have sworn they set up auto pay on a new credit card but apparently did not and earned a $35 late fee for paying 4 days late…no they won’t waive it since it is a new card. UGH!
Chris says
I THOUGHT I had set up autopay on my husband’s life insurance and didn’t think about it again, somehow, until he was diagnosed with diabetes, among other things, just before I was supposedly set to renew said life insurance…that I had not, in fact, paid for at all. It lapsed, of course, and now life insurance for him is super pricey. We decided to just save and invest aggressively and I tease him about safe driving.
Word to the wise: don’t let your life insurance lapse while you are still healthy and it is cheap! One of my most frustrating money mistakes. It did, however, motivate us to pay off our house, so there is that.
Jennifer says
This reminds me of the time when I had a newborn and forgot about the boiling bottles and pricy breast pump equipment on the stove for awhile. They all melted into a thick, colorful disk art peice that I still proudly leave hanging in my laundry area as a little reminder that this too shall pass.
I recommend dwelling on this error at night to the point that you can’t sleep so you feel exhausted the entire next day. Yet, you still ruminate about the said error causing you to be irritable with your family making them wonder what they have done wrong coincidentally inserting a dark cloud over the rest of the next day, maybe even more days depending on how much sleep you lose. ..Insert thumbs up here..
Jennifer Y. says
While in the phase of breast feeding my infant while working full time, I use to pump twice per day in the designated “wellness” room at the office. After each pumping session, I would transfer the breast milk from the plastic bottles that attach to the pump to small glass bottles that I used for storage and transportation. One day, while putting my glass bottles into a thermal bag to discreetly store the breast milk in the office lunchroom freezer, I dropped the thermal bag completely destroying the bottles and breast milk from ONE WHOLE PUMP SESSION. I literally cried over spilled milk.
Victoria says
Eat large amounts of sugar and carbs because your body needs lots of extra energy to manage all the beating yourself up.
Snap at your significant other, because both of you should be miserable if this is going to work well.
Clearly assign blame to someone and bring it up every day for the next two months.
I read a great list once called grace vs excuses. It’s really good to refer back to. Can’t remember where I got it from so try googling.
Ruth says
Oh yes! Can’t forget the stress eating!!
Ms. Frugal Asian Finance says
I think I do #2 and #3 more often than I’d like. >_<
Battra92 says
I’ve probably done every single one of these except for giving up entirely, but I’ve felt like doing it.