I've been to Texas and back!
Hey there, readers!
Since I last blogged on Friday, I've been to Texas and back.
(On a plane, of course. Ha.)
My friend Beth is from Texas, and she and her family moved here about 5 years ago. We met at church and became really good friends from there.
We were in a small group together, their daughter stayed here when they had their second baby, and then their two daughters stayed here when they had their third baby, we trick or treated together in our neighborhood, we ate lunch with them after church really often, we played in our church band together...they were a big part of our lives.
This spring, they moved back to Texas to be near family.
And while I'm happy for them, oh man, I was so sad when they moved.
Until the last five years or so, I hadn't really had much in the way of real, reciprocal, deep relationships as an adult. And Beth was one of my first.
She and I both cried lots of tears when she left, and I cried plenty after she left too...like the kind where you're turning your pillow over to find a dry spot because you soaked the whole thing with tears.
(!)
Anyway.
Beth's 30th birthday was on Friday, and her husband, unbeknownst to her, bought me a plane ticket so I could come surprise her for the weekend.
I was so happy to see her, and she was so happy to see me...there was just lots of happiness all around.
And I love her girls too, so I was really glad to see them again.
The five-year-old was VERY surprised when I walked in the door and she was like, "Miss Kristen! Do you live in Texas now??" Heh.
I'd never been to Texas before, so in addition to seeing my dear friends, I got to see a new place, try some of their favorite restaurants, visit their church...and we went to the Dallas zoo too, which was super nice.
And also super hot.
Texas in August is no joke!
I really did hang out with Beth a lot. I just seem to have mostly taken pictures with her girls. 😉
I was sad to say goodbye to all of them yesterday. Sigh.
But of course, I am also happy to say hello again to my five favorite people here at home. They managed fine without me, but they missed me, and it's good to be missed. <3
It's 11:00 and I haven't showered in two days, and I'm not unpacked at all and I have no idea what I'm doing this week or what I'm cooking or what's in my fridge, and I think Sonia and Zoe's mom-attention tanks are low, so I'd better wrap this up and get back to my real life. 😉
Oh, before I go...thank you so much for all of your encouraging comments on Friday's post. I'm sorry I didn't respond to all of you! It's not that I don't care, it's that I was computer-less and in Texas. I'm going to go respond to comments shortly, so hop back over there and read if you left me a question or something else that needs a response.
You know, sometimes modern technology and such are really great and wonderful things and it's nice to not have to stay home all the time. The ability to just go to Texas for a few days is really an amazing concept.
I definitely feel you on the lack of reciprocal deep friendships as an adult. I get to see my two friends maybe once a year at a BBQ we host at my place. I honestly haven't been invited out to do something in almost two years. Such is getting older, I guess.
Air travel is so amazing, isn't it? It still blows my mind how quickly you can go so far, as compared to driving.
I'm so sorry that you're in a tough friendship place. It's so hard! I hope that some meaningful friendships come your way soon.
I mean, of course Mr. FG is my very best friend, but it's also really lovely to have some other non-marriage friends as well.
I completely understand about the tough friendship place. with two little ones and a full time job, most evenings I am too exahusted to even think about hanging out with friends.
You must really love your friend to visit TX in August!
I got to see two of my best friends a couple weeks ago-- I spent 2 days in SF and 5 days in Boston without stopping at home in between, so I hit best friends on both coasts. It was pretty awesome. (Of course, I had to spend my days working, but it was still great to catch up with people. Plus I got to see conference buddies at both conferences.)
Ha-that's like visiting a friend in North Dakota during the month of January. 😉
So great you got to see both besties in a week. Lucky you!
I was just in San Antonio Texas over the4th of July. Hot it is in Texas, but I liked the no humidity part.
I got to take a long weekend flying trip to Texas when my sister lived out there. I'd never been, either, and it was fun to visit her and the area both. However, I went in January, and they were having days in the 20's while I was there, so brrrr. What a wonderful birthday present that was! Beth's husband just earned a whole ton of brownie points.
I know what you mean about friends. I have a very small "Small Group", just the four of us, and our ages span 35 years, but we are so close. It's wonderful having them in my life, and having lived a few years without close friends in the past, I know how much a friend is needed now and then. The spouse may be super wonderful, but sometimes, you just plain need a friend. Congrats on the two of you getting to be together again! I hope you can do it again. Budget for a once a year get-together, maybe, like a woman I know who gets together with her old college buddies in a small beach town, once a year, every year.
What a terrific recharge you had! Next month, we're driving to western Washington to get together with my 5 besties - we've been close friends for 56 years now (holy moly!!). I'm very excited! We do a get together every other year - I've lost count how many years -
I understand on the close friends. I have been blessed by two dear friends in the past two years (I'd say that was the first time in my adult life) and they both moved this year. And a third pretty close friend is moving in two weeks. God likes to shake us up and remind us that only he is sufficient to meet all our needs, but man, it would be easier if I had my friends still around. 🙂
Also, your friend's braids are incredible. I have major braid envy.
I second that idea of God shaking us up so we depend on Him, not people, places or things!
Welcome back, Kristen! I'm so glad you had a great trip in Texas. It's not easy to be far away from our good friends. I'm sure your family missed you so much when you were gone too!
P.S. I also love window seat because I can lean on the window to sleep! =)
Why is it that the older we get, the harder it is to connect and make true friends? I'm struggling with that right now, especially since we started having kids earlier than our friends. It's encouraging to know I'm not alone in it.
I'm so glad you got to travel and see her! Hold on tight to that friendship! But enjoy your babies and hubs now that you're home!
How very, very sad to not have at least several (hopefully more) deep friendships. And what an unhealthy way of being in the world to model that for kids!! Friends are like gold and can and should feel like extended family. They bring so much to life that kids and a romantic partner can't. And let's hope we've all prioritized maintaining friendships for that day when our kids don't need us so much, a partner dies, or a marriage ends.
I hope all the friendless commenters get out there and start prioritizing friendships. It's also lovely to have "family friends" that your kids know do they learn about friendship and building community. If you prioritize making and keeping friends, it'll happen. There are people everywhere - neighbors, church, friends of friends, Meet Up groups, volunteer organizations, work, etc. You just need to reach out, be friendly, and do the work required to grow any relationship.
The thing is...I was putting out effort into friendships. But the people I was developing friendships with weren't people who reciprocated and who were interested in developing a deep, open relationship.
So, I do commend friendship effort, but sometimes it takes more than just that. Sometimes, you don't come across people who are a good fit, even when you are trying so hard.
Kristin: There is a very famous saying from Jewish sages that goes, "Find yourself a teacher, make yourself a friend."
I've always thought it was very interesting that we are told to make A friend, rather than friends. I think the idea is that quality relationships are hard to come by and precious. You have been on a treasure hunt, and it sounds like what you have found was worth the digging and waiting!
So glad you got to see your BF for her birthday! The kid pictures made me laugh!
I was lucky enough to spend an evening with a special and faraway-living university friend on Friday, also blessed that our husbands get along so well, and young children love to play together. THEN I spent two days in the Kruger National Park, where I was also fortunate to see the giraffes. Loved your pic!
I'm so glad you got to see your friend! I am 36, and I have had the same experience with friendships. Those I've started and grown in my 30s have been deeper and more satisfying than the friendships I had in college and in my 20s. To have that sense of connection and real community is good for the soul.
What a wonderful reconnection! and super-cute Snoopy t-shirt. 🙂
Thank you! Mr. FG picked that out for me one Christmas.
We too have friends in Texas. They are real Texans. Well, he is a Texan while she is from Florida. They live in San Antonio now, a lovely city well worth a visit. We have known them since 1967 when we first came to the US! Fifty years now. He had a 10,000 acre ranch in Uvalde the Texas Hill Country that he inherited from his Uncle. We have visited them many times and had many adventures. we considered moving there! But it never happened.
The picture you took from the plane looks amazing!
I know it's anti-frugal, but I almost always pay extra to reserve a window seat when flying. Seeing everything from up above is simply breathtaking!
You mention the emotional tanks for your two younger ones. We are struggling with that right now. We try to include both of our children so one doesn't feel left out. Or we try to spend special time with one. However, their tanks are insatiable. They fight with each other or blame one of us if they are the focus of attention. Advice anyone?
I'm so glad you got to go.
Kristen: Yay for a much needed visit with your dear friend! Glad that you got to do that.
Fran: I can only offer my opinion. If your husband & you are doing your utmost best for your two children, than that is all that you can do. All children, and some adults, have to learn that they are not the center of the universe. The fighting that your two are doing with each other, and the blaming when they don't get their respective ways, are creating disharmony in your home. Home should be a loving haven of refuge (most of the time!) . Can be difficult to to do but I'd suggest a firmer approach. Acknowledge their feelings but do not permit disrespect. Applaud loving actions while establishing consequences for selfish behavior. Good luck.
What a fab surprise for your friend and what a kind husband she has! Some really nice happy photos.
Yes! He gets 10,000 husband points. 😉
A bit late, but I'm so glad you had a great time in my state, and got to visit your friend. What a sweet gift from her husband. (And btw, you came during a "cool" August! Usually we're in the triple digits.)
This and the follow up on your birthday really warmed my heart. Thanks.