Help me put together some Christmas Q&A posts!
I know I don't usually post on Sundays, but I was wondering if you all had any Christmas-specific questions for me. I thought it might be fun to do a Christmas-themed Q&A for a couple of weeks in December, but I need some questions to work with.
So, do you have any questions about frugality and Christmas or about how we do Christmas around here? Or any other Christmas-related question?
If you do, leave your question as a comment in this post, or just email me (thefrugalgirl {at} gmail {dot} com) with your question.
Also, I am working on a Christmas e-book. I'm maybe 75% done with it, and I'm hoping to have it ready to go somewhere around December 1st (it would be lovely if I had it done before them, of course, but I don't see that happening!).
Do you and Mr. FG set the same budget for gifts for each of your kids or do they get the same number of gifts or do you just buy each child one thing they really want?
Do you use an artificial tree or buy a real one every year?
Kristen, this is more philosophical but WHY giving is important, WHAT giving communicates to our children/families/the world watching, HOW we give tells alot about us. The converse of that would also be receiving with grace and helping our children with expectations.
I'd like to know about you tree. I LOVE real trees but they are SO SO expensive so I think we will be sticking with a fake one for at least a few more years (also, we aren't sure if my husband has outgrown his allergy to trees in the house so this may be a moot point!) I'm guessing you have a fake one, so how long have you had it, how much was it, what do you think is a frugal way to do trees?
Hey Kristen,
When answering the budget question I'd like to get your opinion on a middle class parent having a $600 per child budget for Christmas? I thought it was high but maybe I'm over thinking it.
R U Kidding! WE are very middle class and I spend less than $50 per child.
I'm glad I'm not the only person who thinks that is ridiculous. A lady in my office was bragging on how she was done shopping for her kids. She had a spreadsheet for her kids and I saw over her shoulder that she had $600 for each kid. When I made a comment she said she had a Christmas Club to save for it. But my point was that she is setting her kids up for disappointment in the future when they can't afford that.
I am completely on board with buying gifts early or making them. My question is about your children giving gifts. Do you set aside money for them to buy their siblings presents? Or do they make something for each other? Or do they draw names and they buy/make something for that one sibling?
maybe you could do some sort of suggested formula for figuring out a Christmas budget without having to go into debt? or at least where it should fall in the priorities list... and then for those who can't afford the aforementioned $600/kid budget...maybe suggest ways of celebrating Christmas that don't necessarily involve *THINGS* but still create amazing memories. 🙂
i had a question for you and all your readers: what to do/say about Santa Claus? i distinctly remember being told he wasn't real in kindergarten (too young!) and being very sad about it. as an adult, i don't like the deception and being black, it kind of rubs me the wrong way, too. that said, i think i am going to tell my 2 year old about him and go along with the fantasy, but i was wondering what you think.
wow-- $600 sounds like A LOT!! i was thinking more on the lines of $100..
I do not remember at what age we told our kids that we were santa but it wasn't devastating to them. They still recognize the fun with Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy but know that it's just fun. We feel like the kids should know the truth as early as they can understand but still go along with the fairy tale part of things.
I may have a somewhat different perspective, as someone who doesn't celebrate Christmas (I'm Jewish). My parents always told us the truth about Santa. They didn't make a big deal of it, but they answered our questions honestly when we asked.
However, as very young children, we couldn't really understand. Our friends (and the media) treat Santa as 'real' -- and so it took a while for each of us to be old enough to understand for ourselves. We had no big surprise or distress at learning 'the truth.' We each came to it in our own time.
Just another perspective. Of course, this may be complicated by the fact that we didn't get presents 'from Santa' either.
In my non-religious household[1], when we thought about it at all we treated Santa as the spirit of giving. But I always knew that gifts came from other people.
$600 seems like a huge amount. If I wanted to give a big gift to someone - a laptop to a teenager, say - I'd try to get a number of people to contribute and/or say it's a combined Xmas/birthday/school/whatever gift.
[1] Not that Santa Claus is Christian or even religious, especially as done in the US these days.
I wonder: if one tells one child that Santa et al aren't real, what does one tell them about talking with kids who do think they're real?
On Christmas Eve, we would take my kids out looking for Rudolph in the sky. My sister would come and knock on the window, dressed as an elf when we were getting the kids into bed. They were so excited by all of it. Then we made friends with another family. All the kids were rude to my kids about their belief in Santa. My kids were so confused. I did tell them last year that Santa is no longer alive, but he was really did live a long time ago and he did give gifts. People loved the idea of Christmas gifts so much that they started giving like he did and that is how the tradition started. When I told my kids, they were devastated. I did however talk to them about not telling other children about Santa. I reminded them how devastated they felt and that the didn't want to be the ones to ruin it for other children. My kids are very good about it. When another child talks about Santa. They don't tell them he isn't real, they just kind of say "Oh yeah, cool!" Or they will ask them what they are asking Santa for. Even my mom acts like she still believes in Santa and my kids won't tell her any different.
Oh, and we still give one gift from "Santa". And around Christmas I still say, "You had better be good, Santa is watching!" They try to laugh it off, but I say, "I am Santa...and I am watching you!!" LOL
As believers, we really struggled with this before we had kids. We had a friend who made a suggestion that we have used. We have told our children about Saint Nicholas (who is real) and that he did some great things to honor Jesus' birth. Because of that, many families do different things to honor Santa Claus. We tell our kids it's a game. Everyone plays the game a little differently, but the point is still to honor Jesus. When other people's kids ask if our kids believe there is a Santa, our kids reply that there certainly was a Saint Nicholas and tell the other kids they can look it up on the internet. This is a good way to not lie to your kids and at the same time not destroy other people's dearly held traditions.
I'm with you on the $600. If we had that much to spend on the kids, we'd probably put it in the college account for them. "Sure honey, we could have sent you to college, but we felt it was more important that you get your fair share of plastic nonsense when you were four..."
Hi Kristen!
I am trying to encourage friends and family to choose "experience" gifts instead of MORE toys (plastic junk - ugh!) for our 8-year-old son. I have mentioned movie tickets or gift cards to Laser Legend (a laser tag/arcade place), etc. Can you offer some more ideas for non-plastic-toy gifts?
Enjoy the holidays!
Another county piping up (as my grandmother used to say): skills classes such as wood shop, embroidery, riding, gymnastics, baseball camp, drawing, music. Or expeditions: an amusement park, museum or zoo class, camping.
Does your family celebrate Advent as a way of preparing for Christmas?
Do you limit the number of gifts that you (or Santa Claus) give to your children? I have a toddler now and want to make Christmas enjoyable and not focused on receiving gifts for our family. Besides a dollar amount, I want to find ways to put reasonable limits on Christmas gifts received.
I know I'm not FG, but I've also struggled with this. My husband and I decided when our almost 4 year old was born that we needed a way to 'reign in' the commercialization of Christmas. We decided to put a 3 gift limit on each child. We explain this to our kids that Christmas is Jesus' birthday, not theirs and the wise men brought Jesus 3 gifts to the manger when he was born. It really was super symbolic on our parts, just a way to limit the excess of gift buying and giving at our home. And our kids, ages 3 and 1 are not lacking at all when Christmas rolls around. They still get plenty of gifts from grandparents, etc.
Just a thought!
You know I just read that same idea in a homeschool magazine, and I loved it!! They gave a "Gold" gift (one the kids really wanted (within reason)). They even wrapped it in gold paper. Then for the frankincense gift (frankincense was used with oil to anoint the body), they would give something for the body, such as clothing or bubble bath. And the third gift they gave would represent myrrh, but I can't remember what they gave to represent that one. I want to start that idea with my family.
Do your children buy gifts for their siblings? If so, do they pay for them from their ow allowance money?
Are the gifts under the tree from Mommy and Daddy or are they from Santa, or is there a mix from both?
My question is how much of the $50 is brand new stuff and how much is second hand? I am trying to buy 2nd hand for my kids, but its hard.
I also agree that $600 is a lot of money. We have four kids & spend about $75 on each. (The two youngest kids are nearly two so we've spent about $30 on them. We might as well as get away with while we can!)
Great blog. I look forward to reading it everyday from sunny Queensland in Australia.
I would love to know what traditions or activities you do in the month leading up to Christmas. We have fun things we do here but I am always on the lookout for more (frugal) ideas!
Also I was wondering if you and Mr FG buy gifts for each other. We stopped buying for each other years ago due to money but started buying again last year b/c I wanted my kids to see us giving gifts to each other (nothing big, just a few small things.).
We draw names between our adult siblings. We usually have a budget of $50 - $75 per gift. But with 2 on my side and 2 on my husband's side....we're spending $200+ on adult gifts, not to mention the nieces and nephews we buy for! I sew and love to make my gifts, but is there anyway to do this without looking incredibly cheap? After all, they spend $50-$75 on each of us. I don't want my siblings or my husband's siblings dreading that we're the ones who drew their name on any given Christmas!
Do you have the sort of relationship where you could ask if everyone would agree to a smaller budget? I know this wouldn't work in some families and I know of others who were grateful that someone took that first scary step. Or suggest that perhaps the grownups have enough physical possessions and perhaps we could concentrate on the youngsters and the good company instead?
Do you do any Christmas crafts with your kids? Like making ornaments or gifts for Grandparents?
Several years ago, we started making memories instead of giving gifts. So...my sister and I treat my Mom to lunch and a pedicure instead of gifts. Our family friends go together with my family and watch a high school musical and go to lunch. We gave our brother-in-law a yearly pass to a small local zoo to take his family. It has worked out GREAT...best Christmas decision we ever made! What do you think about this idea? Think if every family did this?
I love this idea!! We live in a very small house, and frankly, we don't have room for more toys for the kids!
I really need some help this year as well. I want my children to be excited and enjoy the thrill of presents under the tree, but philosophically I struggle with the idea of bombarding them with too much. Plus, I have to be more frugal this year because the money just isn't there. I use to buy gifts throughout the year and stockpile them for Christmas, but I didn't do that this year. I like the idea of memory gifts, making memories, but I do still want them to have something to unwrap and "play" with the day of Christmas too. I want them to understand the concept of giving too. I feel very torn about what is the right thing to do. I think in the past we have spent between $200-$300 and we have two kids. I thought this was being fairly conservative, but would like to trim it back even more. On Christmas Eve, we have the tradition of giving them each a new pair of Pajamas...practical, but they still love it and get excited about it. STOCKINGS: what do you put in your children's stockings?
I know that cream of crab soup is one of your special meals--you had it last Christmas Eve, I believe. Could you please provide a recipe? I'm guessing that it's a bit pricer than my usual meals, but it would be great for an at-home-date-night with my crab-loving hubby.
Thanks!
Do you have any fun ideas of Christmas crafts or tree ornaments that kids can make? Maybe readers can send in suggestions, too! I recently re-read your post on making Christmas cookies, so that is one good idea I will try.
How do you get families to agree to draw names?
Good gift suggestions for 20-something couples who don't need house stuff, and you don't see them that often? (These are grown nieces and nephews, but they celebrate all together with my husband's sisters and mom, so it would feel weird to get gifts for only part of those at the celebration.) And I have to mail these, so that precludes a food gift basket or something heavy.
What about a gift card to a movie or somewhere to eat?
What do you think is a reasonable amount of money to spend on family (all members including extended family), friends, neighbors, the post man, and ect?? What Christmas dinner and desserts are the best? If some people can only send out cards due to income problems what should they put as the reason to avoid problems? What are the best things to buy kids that will last awhile? What should you get for pets? What amount is the best to spend total? If you could help answer that would be great. Do you think it is good and frugal to make handmade stuff too? Thanks again.
My biggest tip for a Christmas that involves less spending of cash is cashing in any rewards points cards and getting gifts/stocking stuffers / giftcards with my redeemed points. This year I cashed my Airmiles in for gift cards for the grocery store ( I'll buy the turkey and veggies with it), plus here I plan on buying all the stocking stuffers by redeeming all of my Shopper's Drug Store points. I hope this helps someone out there!
What type of traditions do you have for the holiday season?
Some of ours is, going to cut down our tree.(we usually go have breakfast then go cut our trea down. (everyone, my parents, my sister and husband, and my nephew, and my dh and two children) we have been doing this close to 20 years, (have missed a few in the middle due to sickness and such.)
I think 600.00 per child is crazy. we are trying to stay around a 100.00 per, and between 35-50 for the adults. Dh and I don't exchange, but buy from the kids for each other.
Having a big breakfast, after opening gifts,
This year we are going to make some cookies together.
I'm a big holiday baker, but this is the first year that I've ever actually paid attention to how much I was spending at the grocery store. I'm trying to keep my family (I live with my parents and do the grocery shopping for the 3 of us) on a $100 per week budget, but I'm thinking I'm going to have trouble staying within those limits with all the holiday baking I plan to do.
This weekend, in addition to the regular groceries, I bought extra sugar (brown and white), eggs, and an extra 2 pounds of butter. This sent me $15 over, even though I bought the store brands and used a coupon for the eggs. I don't like the Aldi in my area (it's a bad neighborhood), and while I shop loss leaders and use coupons when I can, I'm worried about spending too much trying to bake goodies for work and as gifts. Any advice?
I don't know if you know this - brown sugar is manufactured by adding molasses to white sugar; I think it's 1T for light brown and 2T for dark brown. As it happens I just priced out the cost of white sugar + molasses compared to brown sugar. White sugar + molasses is much cheaper. From now on I'm using white sugar + molasses for everything but the outsides of things and oatmeal.
The cost of butter has gone through the roof lately, hasn't it? You probably know to avoid chocolate. Use dry milk instead of liquid: add the dry milk with the flour and the water whenever you're supposed to add the milk. I'm trying to think of things you can make with oil rather than butter but all that's coming to mind now is quickbreads but maybe other readers have ideas?
Oh - what about mixes + instructions? You'll need the dry ingredients, a pretty container with lid (I see mason jars at Goodwill for very little), and the ability to print or write the instructions. Layer the dry stuff in the jar so it looks pretty, cover, use ribbon to tie a cut square of pretty cloth (you can get ends from fabric stores for every little and you need only about a 4" square per jar) over the lid, and attach the instructions.
Just this weekend I used your Christmas posts from last year to make Russian Tea and Hot Cocoa mixes (with the hot pepper - yum!) for Christmas gifts! Last year I did the Chai Tea and it was a huge hit.
I always enjoy posts on edible Christmas gifts and on Christmas traditions that aren't "stuff" based. For example, my favorite Christmas tradition is that my family rents out an ice rink every Christmas Eve morning and the entire extended family (it's a big one) gets together to go ice skating and have pizza. It's soooo much fun and the source of a lot of memories. It's also the only time during Christmas that the ENTIRE family is in one place some years. It's not cheap, but it's money for memories instead of money for stuff.
Heya Kristen,
I'm putting together our advent calendar and trying to come up with activities to do each day. What activities do you have planned for the season?
I'm sure WAY too many of my questions are food related. I'd like to know if you buy cheap turkey at the holidays and cut it up for future use? Does that make sense?
Do you decorate the outside of your house, and if so, how did you start the process of accumulating those decorations?
Kristen,
Does your family share Jesus with those less fortunate around you? Like, do you volunteer at a soup kitchen or the salvation army or anything? Do you get an Angel Tree child and get them gifts?
Whitney
While growing up, my parents did not have a lot of money for Christmas presents for our five kids (and sometimes for food). However, we always had a wonderful time Christmas morning.
The first idea was that my mom always gave each child three gifts: one for the mind (ie a book), one for the body (ie a sweater or PJs), and one for the heart (ie a doll). She told me she did this to make sure all aspects of each child was covered.
The next idea was to have one child at a time open their gifts. This way, the excitement of the gifts can be shared with everyone over a longer period of time.
Lastly, we often had to find each gift via a scavenger hunt. The clues got increasingly harder as the child got older, which was fun (and funny) to try to figure out where to go next for the next clue or present. And, it was enjoyable for everyone to watch as each child (again, one at a time) ran around the house searching.
I have continues these traditions with my own children, and they also are delighted with each aspect.