What are your plans for the "don't need to be frugal" stage?
We discussed this topic briefly in the last Tightwad Gazette post because Amy wrote an essay about the possibilities that open up when you don't need to be frugal anymore.
(Because, presumably, your years of penny-pinching have put you in a stable financial place.)
I thought it would be fun to chat about what we all would do if we were financially secure enough to jettison frugality.
What practices would you keep up? What would you drop? How would you spend your time and money?
I'll answer first (perk of being the blogger: you always go first. Ha.) and then you guys can answer the questions as well!
Things I would still do
Some of the frugal things I do have other benefits, so here's a non-exhaustive list of things I'd do even if I was oozing with money.
Cook at home and pack my lunches
This is cheaper for sure, but also: I can generally feed myself more nutritious food if I eat home-cooked, home-prepped food.
Plus, cooking at home produces a lot less trash than getting takeout does. The same goes for packing a lunch; I pack food in my stainless steel containers, which are gonna last basically forever.
(I do use Pyrex when I need to heat something up!
Work to avoid food waste
In-home food waste is a big environmental problem because the wasted food ends up rotting in landfills, producing methane gas. And it's not just restaurants and stores that are throwing food away; households are the sources of almost half of the food in landfills.
So, I'd still work hard to limit my food waste.
Obtain second-hand things
I'm pretty sure I will always be a member of my Buy Nothing group, and I'll still be an eBay buyer.
Second-hand items are cheaper, yes, but they are also generally eco-friendly.
Buy high-quality stuff
Not only do high-quality items save money in the long run, they also are good for the environment. So Rich Kristen would still look for heirloom quality stuff.
Also, it's just nice to not have to repeatedly replace things!
Avoid disposable items when possible
I'd mainly keep up with this for environmental reasons. But also, there are many cases where a non-disposable item is just more luxurious than the disposable counterpart.
Repair things
Not to be a broken record but...it's usually better for the earth if we repair items instead of throwing them away and then purchasing a replacement.
And if you've obtained a high-quality item (as mentioned above), an upside is that it is often repairable. On the flip side, poorly made items sometimes cannot be repaired.
For instance, I'm thinking of the difference between, say, a particle board bookshelf and a wooden bookshelf. The particle board shelf is hard to rehab, but a wooden one can almost always be made like new again.
Things I would change/spend more on
Home/appliance repair
If I had piles of money, I would never repair an appliance myself.
I also would probably not bother with almost any home repairs or upgrades (aside from painting). It would make me very happy to throw some money at the problem instead.
I can do a lot of these types of tasks, but I do not enjoy the process at all! Ergo, Rich Kristen would hire it out.
Lawn care
I would 100% hire someone to mow my yard and do landscaping.
Travel
If I had tons of money, I would always choose the non-stop flights that leave at convenient times of day. 😉
And I probably would spend less time hunting for the best lodging deals. I would stay at ALL of the fun and unique AirBnbs without thinking about the price.
Giving/Volunteering
If I did not need to work for pay as a nurse, I would spend those hours doing things like humanitarian medical trips.
Also, because I remember how hard it was to find somewhere to rent as a newly separated person without a W-2 job, I would one day love to have a rental space (maybe a duplex or a mother-in-law suite type of thing) to offer as a really cheap rental to a mom who needs to leave a marriage.
I also would like to help someone like that with legal fees; so often women who have been stay-at-home moms have difficulty coming up with the funds to pay a divorce lawyer.
Car Cleaning
This is rather frivolous but you know what would be fun? To pop by one of those places that vacuums and details your car inside and out. If I were rich, I probably would do that semi-regularly.
A house!
I would buy a smallish house in a lovely location, with lots of big windows, a wrap-around porch, and a bathroom attached to my bedroom.
And I would hire someone to fix anything in the house that wasn't to my liking (such as...NOT ENOUGH WINDOWS.) 😉
__________________
Since I have taken some steps back financially in mid-life, I don't know if I will ever get to the point of being financially independent. But it is fun to imagine what I would do!
I am gonna be an empty nester in the near future, though, and then I'll be just paying for my own expenses.
I will be making decent money as a nurse once I graduate next year.
Plus, I plan to continue blogging (if I can manage a blog on top of nursing school, I think I can manage it on top of nursing!), and all of this means there are a lot of reasons to think that I can make decent financial progress in the upcoming years.
Sooo, who knows? Perhaps some of the things on this list are pretty possible!
Husband and I are in the "more money than life left" category. It's wonderful but kind of weird. For us, it's impossible to give up the thrift and save-the-earth mindset so, of course, it's hard to spend the money. I think that it's safe to say that those of us who prescribe to the "tightwad gazette", "frugal girl", "non-consumer advocate" and "mr. money mustache" type of lifestyle can ever give that up to become big spenders. We give more money to charities nowadays and I guess ultimately our children will have to spend it. But don't feel bad for us. We spend six months of the year in Canada and then six months golfing and wintering at our place in Florida. It's a wonderful, worry-free life.
@Lynda, this sounds wonderful 🙂
@Lynda, that sounds great. This Canadian would love to be a snowbird (not Florida, though). Hopefully that will happen one day.
@Lynda,
that is literally the dream! Well done for achieving that, and how amazing to be able to provide for the next generation too.
If it were me (hahahahaha!!) I would consider setting up some sort of trust type thing or endowment (I literally have no idea, can you tell?) to support some or other charitable cause that I have always supported in smaller ways. So, for eg, I would love to set up an educational fund for impoverished students to be able to go to vocational or professional further education and not have to work 2 jobs and starve to do it. But in my little dream, it would not necessarily be for the super-academic shining star types, it would be for the ones who have always done quite well, in difficult circumstances, who want to achieve a good / better life in a ''normal'' (what us privileged types think of as normal) manner, so maybe teaching, nursing, electrician, plumbing, accounting, hairdressing, whatever, but not necessarily for people who are straight A genius prodigies, if that makes sense?
Anyway. That's what I'd do.
I'm having a hard time coming up with ideas! I have kids at home still, and no empty nest ever ( probably), and I have a husband who is way thriftier than me, so nothing I chose to do wouldn't require agreement from others....
I would like to give more to charity and volunteer for a hospice or a preschool.
We seem to be in the no longer need to be frugal camp but yet we persist in many ways. I agree with Kristen on the things she would keep doing, we are still doing them.
We have upsized travel, not the amount but they way we do it. We take direct flights at the most convenient time and even pay for good seats. We stay at good, but not extravagant, hotels.
We donate to charities, more than tithing.
We give generous gifts to loved ones.
Last time the outside of our house needed to be painted we hired it out.
Kristen, I have no doubt you will get there in your financial journey.
I would live on a lake 🙂 That's the goal!
I would also keep doing the environmentally friendly frugal tasks like you, Kristen, but out source services. A detailed car and regular lawn service sounds DIVINE. I would hire someone to vacuum dog and cat hair regularly, too.
If I also didn't have to work to maintain all that luxury, I'd bump up my hours at the soup kitchen, and probably teach a free yoga class (maybe to college students?). I'd either write a novel or get a graduate degree.
And if I was really really independently wealthy, I'd establish a scholarship or library.
@Andrea G / Midwest Andrea, I started a Little Free Library. Not extravagant by any means and probably won't directly change the world, but it's changed my community (which has zero public libraries) and that's progress to me.
@Mary, Oh, I love that! My current community has quite a few, but when we move I'll definitely see how many we have. One of my book club friends started a Little Free Library in her neighborhood, but it was actually the kind made out of an old newspaper stand.
@Mary, This is a wonderful thing. Sharing books with others brings joy to readers. Giving books to children increases literacy rates,
@Andrea G / Midwest Andrea, Mary and Bee,
Wonderful idea Andrea, so caring. Our Little Free Library is used several times every day. And we have 20+ Little Free Libraries around town. People love having a bunch to check into.
Also, someone in my neighborhood started a Little Free Pantry for people to donate food which she then takes to the food pantry every Friday. It makes it easy to donate food. Another neighbor began a Little Free Puzzle Library that has such a variety because so many frequent it.
I have also heard of a LF Art Library filled with beautiful miniature paintings. I would love that to be nearby!
@Erika JS, I am always refilling our local little free food pantry. anyone in need can help themselves. I always try to leave canned meat or fish or meaty soups because I figure they need it more than just canned veg.
@Erika JS,
Our neighbor just opened a Little Free Puzzle Library, such a great idea.
@Tarynkay, a local library does a free puzzle exchange and a charity shop nearby accepts donations of puzzles and resell them with the money made going to local groups.
I would still cook a lot of food at home, but I would also feel less hesitant over ordering takeout after a long day!
I would still buy reusable products and try and repair things to help the environment, as you said 🙂 I would also buy things which are higher price, if they were also better quality.
If I had more money I would travel more and take more classes. There are so many things I want to learn but I can't afford to study them all! I would like to buy my own place, but I don't know where that would be yet!
I would also donate more to charity.
Same:
* Shopping sales and hunting for deals (and sharing them with my friends!)
* Cooking at home
* Growing food
* Looking for items secondhand, accepting hand-me-downs, and passing them on
Change:
* Some people have been exceedingly generous to us recently and I would love to be able to do something like that for someone someday.
* Buy higher quality food on a regular basis. The beef we have bought from friends financially makes sense. The hog we bought from my cousins was great - the best bacon we've ever had in our lives! But if you hit good pork sales at the store, it's SO much cheaper. In our current financial situation, we probably won't be able to buy another hog. But I sure would love to do that! And would my kids ever take ramen in their school lunches again? Ehhh.... They love ramen, but I'd also love to send higher quality foods.
* We would get at least one new car. My husband would love to have a Toyota Tundra and a Toyota Sequoia. I LOVE my minivan, but understand why a Sequoia makes sense for us down the road.
* While Kristen would paint but hire out for home upgrades, we would probably do the opposite! My husband really enjoys doing home upgrades and fixing things, so we would continue to do that. But neither of us really enjoys painting and we would probably hire that out.
I definitely think frugality is one of those things that will always stick with us. My upbringing will always be a part of who I am. My husband is more frugal by nature than I am, so we challenge each other.
Now that we are in a more comfortable place financially, we are enjoying being able to actually go on vacation...although that is also somewhat about our schedules. When we were dairy farming, we rarely had even a weekend off because of the cows. Hiring someone to milk your cows is harder than one might think...it's different than getting someone to feed the dog, for sure!
Having jobs with vacation days is a huge benefit and we dont take it for granted!
I do need to keep my impulsive nature in check...
Going to a fun store like Ross, where I can find clothing that I sometimes don't need but can afford to buy, it's hard to let things on the rack!
I will always enjoy going through the "no sell" pile at auctions...I got some really nice flower pots recently...
and going out to eat is always a treat rather than common place. Every time we see the bill, we are taken aback.
Trips to the beach and weekend trips will always include a cooler of food on the back seat or a trip to the grocery store once we arrive at our destination!
If money were no issue...first and foremost on my list would be updating our old farmhouse. I love where we live...but I would put in AC, update the wiring, and put more than one electrical outlet in each room!
I would also love to have someone regularly mop my floors, dust, and wash my windows! Gardening and outside work is my wheelhouse! 🙂
That would be me- I’m 77 and my house and car are paid for. I have insurance, property tax and utilities to pay but that’s about it. I still work and can be generous with family and my clients who are all on Medicaid. I also like to tithe and contribute to charities. I don’t care much about travel or eating out and I still do all my yard work including mowing. I never mowed until my husband died at age 48. I’m still frugal and check the grocery ads before I shop. I love to read but use the library unless it’s a book I know I’ll reread. My splurge- my farm share weekly delivery and I did go on a Disney cruise this past April.
@Nan, What is your job at age 77? I would consider keeping at least a part-time job indefinitely, but I have no idea who would hire someone well past "retirement age."
@Bonnie,
I’m a Medicaid waiver support coordinator. I was a SAHM for 31 years- youngest is 12 years younger than second- and I started working when she was 16 and driving. We’re allowed 43 clients which I have had but I’m slowly cutting my caseload and just have 30 now. I make my own schedule as long as I do my monthly contacts. My clients all have disabilities so it’s a very rewarding job. I make sure they get the services they are entitled to getting.
@Bonnie, The AARP (American Association of Retired Persons) magazine and website has a job board and training center for those who want to work in retirement.
They also have a Volunteer center to place people into those positions. In some states, you can use volunteer hours to offset a portion of your property taxes and AARP helps you to find out which states and gives placement help.
@Nan, Wonderful.
@Nan, I think you have created a beautiful situation for yourself!
@Nan, what an absolutely wonderful type of job! I think there are so, so many people who could use / need a bit of a money bump, but do not want to or are not able to work full time or in hard, physical stressful jobs.
I would love to do something like this: work part-time, doing something that actually helps people and adds value, but is not 100000 hours a week and super-stressful.
Love how your “changes” would help provide an income for others.
I would definitely have someone come and do landscaping for me. Create the gardens and do the work. I just do not like gardening and to me it's a lot of work. More than I care to tackle. Of all the years in my marriage, I have only cut the lawn once and that's because my husband was away for a month.
And for where we live, I don't think I would be giving up cooking dinner and making sure there is food here. All that is around is fast food crap and you definitely do not want to eat that all the time. We'd have to travel far to eat something decent.
Oh and I definitely would be collecting Social Security by now and paying out of pocket for insurance! LOL
I would love to get some nice landscaping done- but I would need to know what I want, plan it out, and find a guy with trucks/machines to do it. And at this point in my life with full-time work and kids still at home it just keeps falling down the priority list. Then every winter the snow falls and covers up my ugly yard for 4-5 months so I can forget about it.
No matter how much money I had I think I would still cook. I love cooking and don't want to eat a lot of restaurant meals because of the high calorie/salt levels.
We are at the don't need to be frugal stage, right before retirement.
I will still do all the frugal things I currently do.
We hire out the things that are too physical for us. Hiring out our garage roof, we shingled it ourselves last time it was done.
The one thing I would like to hire out is a house cleaner. I keep up with the essentials but heavens this house it way to big for me to clean.
We will have to be frugal until we understand how much prescription drugs will cost once retired. Hubs takes many meds, I think this will become out biggest cost in retirement.
@Mar, if you and your hubs are AARP members, look into the AARP Medicare Part D plan (for meds) through UnitedHealthcare. And several folks here have mentioned the Mark Cuban online pharmacy (https://costplusdrugs.com/).
@A. Marie, maybe look into GoodRx too.
@Mar, I have Humana Medicare Advantage and my Rx costs are minimal, at best. They send them through their mail order pharmacy and I rarely have to pay out of pocket for anything -- but my Rxes may be different from yours. My doctor's office always has stacks of cards that provide people with discounts at pharmacies and some of the scripts are supposedly cheaper with the card than via a regular insurance plan. Another possible option is Shark Tank billionaire Mark Cuban's drug plan: he makes a 15% profit only, and the medications are therefore much, much cheaper. I believe it is called Cost Plus Pharmacy or Cost Plus Drugs, or something like that. You might want to look it up now and see if your Rxes are cheaper through them than through what you're using now.
@Fru-gal Lisa,
Oh, and let's not forget that Pres. Biden wants to cap drug costs at $2,000 per year for retirees. Meaning you wouldn't pay any more than $2,000 for your meds during a given year. If he gets that passed (and yes, it's a big IF), it will be a huge help to a lot of people.
@A. Marie, I'd add blink health and goodrx. Also with the manufacturer as there can be help available based on financial need.
@A. Marie, Thank you all for the helpful advice. I made notes from all of you!
@Fru-gal Lisa, That starts for those on Medicare Part D in 2025. Hurrah!
@Mar,
would you consider a smaller, easier maintenanc property? My mum sold our beloved (big, old, needing lots done) family home with many tears and some heartache in her mid-60's and moved to a far more convenient, lovely place, and it totally upgraded her life in almost every way you can think of or name. The whole ''shingles on the roof'' ''what about the guttering'' thing literally melted away, and house cleaning became about 1/3 of what it had been. She had a much busier, more active life because the ''millstone'' of the house (as much as we all loved it) was removed.
Stay the same:
~Cook most of our meals at home/take lunches to work (I get sick of eating out really quickly, plus, the waste and health aspects)
~Shop sales, but focus on quality (sale or not)
~Keep our inexpensive hobbies (tennis, working out, hiking, church activity groups)
~Stay in the same house. We have an updated 2000 sq ft house in a central location. Even after the kids leave, we can age in place pretty easily.
~I'd still do *some* gardening
What would change:
~I'd get a housekeeper 2 x a month. I love a clean home and don't mind cleaning. But the weekly deep clean days kill my back.
~I'd hire out all house upgrades and fixes-even painting.
~I'd hire a grass-cutting service. I enjoy a little gardening; but despise weed-wacking/edging.
~Give more generously to family/friends/charities
~Upgrade vacations (first class flights, please!)
@Sarah, you weekly deep clean?? I am in awe.
What a fun post! It reminds me of an AHA moment I had - when I was talking about the lottery with someone (confession: 2-3 times a year I buy a scratch ticket for fun…Plinko or crossword) and I realized that winning the lottery wouldn’t really change my life, except that I’d have more money to give away. While we would never be described as living high on the hog, I realized how incredibly privileged I am.
@Shelagh Straughan, as I'm getting into later middle age and have a bit more life experience, I realise how incredibly lucky and privileged I have been, and how the things I am happy about and sort of grateful for are things others can only dream of, and this helps me when I'm feeling irritated with not having exactly what I want, when I want it, lol!
If I suddenly didn't need to be very frugal or had a big enough windfall to change my economic situation, I would likely buy better quality things as they needed to be replaced, do some home improvements without worrying too much about cost, and definitely spend on travel, but that aside, I'd put something aside for my kids, make sure their educations / needs were amply covered and then give quite a lot away to causes that mean a lot to me, to friends / loved ones who could use it (hyper-anonymously and the only ''string'' being zero publicity!).
The freedom to choose is such a luxury, isn't it?
Frugal things I would continue to do:
- buy high quality lasting goods
- cook/eat most meals at home
- repair things
- look for the best deals on desired purchases
things I would spend more on:
- travel
- lawn care
- house cleaning service
- car cleaning services
- hiring out jobs around the house
- create a scholarship for girls in our area to encourage their interest in STEM subjects
- volunteer as a mentor/tutor for girls in math and science
@Beverly, what general region are you near? I have some interest / connections related to your last two items.
@Beverly, Thank you for wanting to help young girls, and I hope you win the lottery. 😉
As I think I wrote last week, we are comfortable - however not yet in the stage of Lynda and husband of having more money than life left ;-). I would expect that by the time we will stop working, we have a few years before us before we will have to get age-related personal services: medical pedicures, help with cleaning, possibly later also meal service etc. However I hope and strive toward remaining independent from those for as long as I can. We did pay for one-time landscaping work and do pay for window cleaning and house painting regularly. What with full time jobs and a three storey house plus being 60ish, I think that is a wise investment.
However I am triggered by the "when I can afford to not work" statement. How do you define how much money you need in the bank to be able to stop working? We have a friend (mortgage paid, no kids, stopped work for medical reasons) who pays themselves a small allowance from their interest by way of monthly income. We are not talking about someone who is very rich, but someone who has always been cautious and careful, financially. This friend's life is characterized by generosity, contentment, stewardship. What I wanted to bring forward is, that being financially independent does not in all cases mean having the same/ a higher monthly income as nowadays, without working. There are many more people who could retire earlier, like our friend, if they were willing to cut back on luxuries, and embraced a lifestyle closer to that of our grandparents.
I could list a lot of things that I would like to do if I were filthy rich, but realistically? Once mortgage has been paid off I would not expect big changes, but rather tweaks to our lifestyle. Our life now holds all that is important.
@JNL, Yes, me too. I already hire out the landscaping etc. I have never mowed a lawn in my life and don't want to start. I don't mind working because I don't leave the house and get paid pretty well.
BFF and her brother were the same way as your friend. They both had multiple bouts with cancer and just stopped working. I'm currently helping BFF's brother set up a college scholarship with the money they left.
Another friend, the deviled egg guy, is very rich. But I don't think he's happy at all. He spends his days puttering around, doesn't volunteer, and doesn't give much to charity.
@Rose, what's w everyone and mowing the lawn? Been doing it for 30+ yrs and enjoy it. Dif strokes, I guess.
My parents are definitely financially independent, but most of their day-to-day choices are the same as when I was a kid. The exception to this is they travel a lot more now--they're going to Croatia in a few days, actually--and when they go overseas, they use one of those companies that pretty much does everything for you: Picks you up, drives you around, provides a guide, etc. I don't like to travel much, but that would probably make it much easier for me.
If I had the money, I would really like a new house. My home is very important to me, and our current house is . . . kinda rough. It would have to be a LOT of money, though, because I very much dislike the plastic materials that almost all houses are made of now. The only exceptions seem to be the very high-end custom builds, like my parents did years ago. Or I guess when we're ready to move, I could find an existing older house in good shape. I dunno. This is all way too hypothetical and I have way too much to focus on in the here and now at the moment. 🙂
@kristin@going country, I've had much better experiences buying existing homes than new ones. Not that workers were necessarily better 100 (or 50) years ago than they are now, but the materials were and also anything that survives from then probably has, at a minimum, good bones.
This is such a fun question to ponder!
I would tip service staff a lot, travel first class and more often, have a personal stylist (because I hate shopping), give more gifts and donations and invite e.g. younger family members to things/trips. I would save a lot to make sure I have the funds for good care for my parents when they are old and for myself when I am old.
Oh, and probably work part-time.
@Maggie,
I love to tip people well for good service. They have hard jobs and sometimes it’s nice to show appreciation.
@Maggie, I like the personal stylist option! I too dislike shopping and feel like I could probably look a lot better if someone else stocked my closet. 🙂
@Bee, Me too! I think if I was wealthy, I'd tip the server $20, even for a breakfast at a diner.
@Fru-gal Lisa, My son nagged me into a $200 tip at Christmas buffet brunch last year. "Come on, it's Christmas! You'll make someone's day!" sheesh, with the Lifetime movie nonsense. (I was gonna leave $100.)
@Bee, ditto!
I really enjoy leaving a surprise 50% tip for hardworking waitstaff.
I remember how appreciative I was, years ago, when I was the server.
Just wanted to say, it made my heart happy to hear you say out loud that you plan to keep blogging!
At this point, I can barely imagine a life without blogging. I've been doing it almost every weekday since 2008!
@Kristen, three hearty huzzahs for the continued blogging plan! And I think the entire Commentariat would say the same.
@Kristen, I too would miss your chats. So full of life and life issues. I think you help so many people and don’t even realize it. I will be 78 in a month and lost my husband after 55 years of hard work at a hard marriage (but we made it) to Covid in 2020. Our oldest daughter and her son had been living with us since her divorce in 1999, so now with my husband gone. It is a true Godsend to have her here. Since our house is close to being paid off, and she makes decent money, she is able to make all the living expenses as I only have my SS for income. We are frugal about many things. I do all my grocery shopping from home and have been since Covid. Shopping at Aldi is a fave, but I compare with 2 other stores for lower cost. I make a lot of jams and put up bargains in the freezer. I try not to waste food and we always eat our leftovers.
Since our house will be 100 next year, we have had to do some major maintenance like new windows and a new roof recently, but we love the house and the neighborhood, so we try to keep things as repaired as possible. I think helping others is one of the reasons we are all here, and have always helped people I could. My 3 daughters are the same way and I’m grateful for that. Take care and God bless you as you move along in these new phase of your life.
Aww, I am glad the stories from my little life are helpful to you. <3
@Suz, Me, too! Please don't leave us.
@Kristen, yeah!!!!
I would LOVE to hire out all kinds of chores and home improvements. Does anyone realize how difficult this actually is to do? Lots of people advertise for work and few bother to show up if you call them.
@Bobi, I realize that I may have an advantage here, since I can still call on the services of DH's contractor colleagues in some areas (electric, HVAC, etc.), as well as the goodwill of his handy personal friends. But I've still been on my own for things like masonry and plumbing--areas in which DH never really found someone he was satisfied with.
And, of course, nearly everybody in home improvement these days has the major problem of finding help that is simultaneously sober, reliable, and competent. This was one of the major reasons DH wound up his independent contracting business in 2000 and went to work for other people.
@Bobi, you said it, sister.
I wish I could clone our handyman.
@Bobi, we found "our guy" and pay him well. We always have done this. He can do almost everything.
As always, Kristen, you've asked a question that makes us all think.
On paper, at least, I'm doing OK for someone who turns 69 in a week: I have a paid-for house and car, no debt whatever, and a financial portfolio that should enable me to live in modest comfort--even though DH's Alzheimer's came with both up-front and hidden costs. (We both had to retire earlier than we would have otherwise, for example. And although his long-term care insurance definitely made the difference for me between living in modest comfort and becoming destitute, it still didn't cover everything.)
I suppose my main splurge is hiring help around the house: regular housecleaning and lawn mowing/snowblowing, plus occasional help for exterior house maintenance, HVAC services, and chimney sweeping. I'm lucky, however, that neighbors and friends help me out with some of the chores I can't manage. (I'll mention one of these in tomorrow's Thankful Thursday.)
As for things other folks splurge on in retirement, I'm not tempted. For example, I lost the urge to travel during the pandemic, and it hasn't returned. I've given up plane travel altogether for multiple reasons, and my trip to Cleveland for the JASNA Annual General Meeting in October will be the longest trip I've taken in 8 years. (I'll be driving as far as the next city over, and then carpooling the rest of the way with JASNA Panera and another JASNA friend in that city.)
I intend to keep being frugal until I either kick the bucket or become unable to care for myself. (I originally wrote "keep practicing frugality"--but as Archie Bunker said to the Meathead in an episode of All in the Family, "I don't hafta practice my religion 'cause I already know it by heart.") In addition to enjoying this way of life for its own sake and for its many environmental benefits, I keep being frugal because at my age, and in these uncertain times, we never know what might happen. No one can be completely prepared for every eventuality--but, as I see it, frugality will certainly help.
@A. Marie,
When looking ahead to retirement, it’s difficult to determine what needs to be in our budget for services. The only thing that I can be sure of is that things won’t go according to plan.
I hope that I stay healthy and strong, I am a bit worried about my DH. I hope he will take better care of himself, but I think he is in denial. He doesn’t realize that he is not 45 any more.
I don’t expect that I’ll ever stop being able to do the frugal things that I do now. These things have become habits that are hard to break - using my library, brewing my own coffee, cooking simple meals from scratch and so forth. Secondly, although we have a nice nest egg built up, I am very concerned about the future. I guess that’s one of downsides of having studied economics.
But if money didn’t matter at all, I would leave Florida every May and not return until the end of September. The summers have been difficult here. It just too hot!
I have been fortunate to travel a bit. However, I would travel more. The world is such an interesting place and I still have much to see. I would also take more family trips.
I would have a housekeeper that does laundry and ironing come 2x a week.
Although I exercise on my own, I would hire a personal trainer. Many years ago, a group of friends and I did group training. It was the best shape that I was ever in. It is motivational.
I love my little house and my neighborhood, but I really want to make a few changes. I have plans!
Lastly, I would help my children. Although my husband and I were able to take care of the first 4 years of college. They all continued their education and now have some debt. Life can be difficult. I would like to ease some of the challenges.
@Bee, Using the library! I don't think I'll ever stop that, even if I had the funds to buy every book I read or want to read.
I would take more classes. I know a woman who went to seminary in her 70s, I would love to do that. I would love to try something like barre classes, too, that is maybe more attainable.
I would stop going to Aldi and buy all of my groceries from local farmers, this would about quadruple my grocery budget.
I enjoy cooking and baking, so I would still do that, but I would also enjoy a lot more restaurants.
I would hire a dressmaker. I enjoy sewing but I do not enjoy following patterns and I strongly dislike shopping. But I like to dress nicely. I would hire my husband a tailor as well, he is tall and thin and has trouble finding things that fit properly.
I would replace my mismatched dishes with dishes from a local potter. We actually looked into this and we have a friend who is a local potter, but it was going to be over $1,000 and we break stuff all the time.
I would be looking for volunteer work instead of paid work
I would give a greater percentage of money away. We currently tithe 10% and give a little additionally to support some specific things, but wouldn’t it be give 90% and live on 10%? I wonder what percentage of his income someone like Jeff Bezos lives on.
@Tarynkay,
R.G. LeTourneau did just that when he got rich - gave away 90% and lived on 10%.
Oooh, the tailor is a good one. I might get more of my clothes custom tailored if I had lots of money!
@Tarynkay, I was also imagining replacing my dishes with hand-thrown pottery. I'm drinking my morning coffee out of the one piece of pottery I own...
@Tarynkay,
I am reminded of the Austrian heiress who gave away 25 million Euro to causes brought forward by 50 citizins (selected at random). From what I read, she gave away 90% of the inheritance, she is part of the TaxMeNow movement. I think she was 3 or 4 generation away from the founder who amassed that wealth.
@Kristen,
I have my pants/jeans custom made, for the past 10 years I have not been able to find any that fit my powerful legs ;-). I have one old pair of Vanilia office pants that predate skinny and I can still fit them - all other pants would wear within a year between the thighs. Now that is expensive!
You do not get custom made at a bargain (honest pay for honest work etc) but they are so comfortable and because they fit well in all places They Wear Thin Much Less Quickly. I only ever wear my custom pants and sports pants and shorts - I love them, definitely worth all the clothes allowance I am putting in them. The custom made pants fit me so well they even make me look slimmer.
My own sewing skills are not beyond pillowcases sadly.
@Tarynkay, In my area, estate sales have whole sets of nice dishes and fine china for sale. On the last day, everything goes half price and everything is negotiable, and they still don't always sell the dishes. The sets of china (or pottery or Corningware or Melamie or whatever) then are donated to charitable thrift stores and sold for not a lot of money. Maybe you could find a set at a good discounted price and therefore start over without having to shell out a grand. (BTW, Corningware and Melamie are unbreakable...)
@Fru-gal Lisa, I've broken both in my time! And IDK about today's versions, but when I originally decorated my guest cottage in 50s pastels, I bought a set of vintage Mel-Mac. Great looking, but you reeeeeally shouldn't put it in the microwave. So there's that too.
@Fru-gal Lisa, I've just discovered estate sales and I love them but I have to put the breaks on cause I just don't have room in this house for all the things that I like. I would love to replace our bedroom furniture with items from a estate sale and be able to get good quality and real wood. I don't care if my bedroom furniture doesn't match perfectly.
Like some other posters today, we have reached financially independence, but still continue many of the frugal practices that helped get us here. We continue to:
- Shop weekly grocery specials and plan meals around them, and shop at Aldi for many items.
- Group errands to save on gas.
- Walk, hike, bike, and kayak, using our own equipment, for the majority of our daily activities, which we also enjoy, thus considering it entertainment as well.
- Carry or drink water everywhere instead of ever buying it, or worse, ordering soda.
- Share most food we purchase out at restaurants in order to spend, and eat(!) less. We're careful to primarily do so at places or at times restaurants won't care (Happy Hours, upscale fast casual places, breweries and wineries, beach shacks)
- Live without land line phone or cable TV.
- Use the library or buy books from library used book store, which all of our libraries around here have. The used book prices average between 50 cents-$2.00, and we then donate the books back.
Splurges are numerous but thoughtfully selected. They are things we both value and can afford:
- Iced coffee purchased almost daily. We split a single cup and sit outside to enjoy it, chat, and generally enjoy an ocean or harbor view while doing so.
- Almost daily lunch sandwich or burrito purchased out. We generally do so as part of a multi-mile, multi-hour outdoor activity, order and share just one item, and drink our own water. We enjoy this immensely!
- Employ a cleaning service once a month. A luxury I value highly.
- Hire skilled craftsmen/women for work around our home. My home is a place of joy for me for many reasons, including the beauty it affords when I walk in the door.
- Focus on entry level luxury/quality items, not top of the line.
We used to say that we'd travel in retirement, but Covid did away with that. Because we don't sleep well at all away from home, our travel is day trips these days and that's okay.
I can't imagine not continuing a lot of frugal practices: cooking at home, thrifting, mending things, doing many things ourselves. However, there will come a time when it makes better sense for our comfort and the upkeep of our home to hire out the big stuff, like painting, gutter maintenance and yard work. My arthritis makes being up on ladders a no-go now.
While there's nothing new I want to own anymore, having just finished a year and a half of total home decluttering and "stuff downsizing," I have begun to make much higher quality purchases when the need arises. Having possessions that do what they are supposed to without fuss or constant repairs is great.
I'm at the point where paying to have my lawn mowed is money well spent.
But in a weird way, I reached this point because my house got paid off. If I hadn't bought when I did and I hadn't paid it off and if we hadn't lost our ability to move (work related) or lost the reason for moving (bigger house for having two kids wasn't needed when my son passed) we would be still choking the dollar until the eagle screamed.
I kinda wish I had that other life, though.
@Battra92, I'm so very sorry to hear about your son.
@Lindsay B, Thank you. He passed last year at birth. Some days are better than others.
@Battra92, Yours may be the hardest loss of all. I'm sorry I missed offering my support and condolences sooner. May his memory be a blessing.
@Battra92,
Hugs. I do not quite know what to say to comfort you -
I think one thing to remember when we dream about this question is to realize that no matter where we are financially, we must choose to live with frugal habits or all of our hard work will be at least compromised, at worst compromised.
I've been in both spots. I lived frugally as a child & all through my marriage but we did reach a point about 25 yrs in that we did not need to be so frugal. We loosened our budget a little, had some fun, traveled, ate out more.....but we maintained our frugal habits for the most part.
Now, in the last 2 or 3 yrs we've found ourselves back on a tighter budget. Because we kept up our frugal habits when they weren't really necessary, this time tightening the belt again is not really such a big deal compared to the first time around.
What about your Civic, Kristen? 🙂
This is a fun thought exercise.
There are some one-time purchases I'd like to do, like lasik eye surgery, and some trips I would like to take. I think we'd stay in this house but make some improvements like adding a bathroom.
I think I'd still cook a lot, and bake. I'd definitely still shop at Aldi, cause who wants to pay more for groceries?
Yes, I would definitely buy my Civic right now if I were wealthy. But I hope to achieve that goal before I am financially independent! 😉
Welllllll....
I'm finding that I still have to be frugal, and probably always will. We went many years unable to put much aside. That changed in the last few working years DH had, when he finally earned enough that we had breathing room. I paid off debt and socked money away as much as I could during those years, but then his health took a turn and as A. Marie notes, that has a lot of costs, both obvious and hidden.
Let me add that reaching a time when frugality is a choice, not a necessity, was something my parents, grandparents, and many of my older family members did not have the luxury of doing. They simply never had a time when they didn't have to pinch pennies, and it's still a reality for many today, unfortunately. But hopefully, everyone here will finally reach a stage in which we can choose frugality over being forced to use it. So it's okay to dream about what one would do if watching the budget wasn't a priority. In fact, I'd say it's a good thing to plan what we would do with extra money in the future - I think it can motivate us to be more frugal now.
I know I will continue cooking at home, buying second-hand, doing it myself if I can, making it myself if I can. I will continue to tithe and donate to others as much as I can. If money was freer, I would give more to charity , be more generous to my family, and would hire a real gardener, not just a mower, to help me with things like digging flower beds, building my raised bed garden, planting new trees, weeding. I know someone in another state who has a dreamy, lovely back yard, filled with gorgeous edibles and pollinator attractors, but she also has a guy who comes and does most of that for her. She directs and plans, waters and harvests, he does the rest. I want a guy like him, and if I had enough money - and could find such a person here - I would pay for that in a second if I could!
As Bobi notes - finding people to do these things we'd like to hire out - that's a whole different story.
Health challenges can really throw a wrench in the finances!
And I agree; envisioning a future helps to motivate us in the now. 🙂
@JD, I hope you do someday find that "real gardener." Such a person is one of my daydreams as well. My lawn-mowing guy doesn't know one garden plant from another, and the Bestest Neighbors have made several attempts over the years at hiring people for this purpose, with minimal success.
@A. Marie,
The young man who mows my lawn knows a few things and has helped get large limbs out of my yard, replace a broken fence post, that type of thing, but between him and his helpers (mostly his new helpers, to be fair) they have done some damage to my plantings. I still can't get them to understand that I am planting and encouraging natives, not chopping them down as weeds!
We are entering this phase of our lives. Our house is paid off, we have no debts, etc. We plan to continue working for a few more years to build up more retirement. DH has a military pension and a VA pension...he has a 401k and we both have IRAs and a brokerage account, but he was a lower enlisted military member for the first 10 years or so and we put little away during that time because we had so very little and was raising kiddos. We've caught up mostly through being very frugal and really saving the past 10 years, but a few more years will put us more where we would like to be.
For now, we are definitely nowhere near as frugal as we were. I know this because my "miscellaneous" expenses each month seem to be more than $500 where there didn't used to be ANY miscellaneous spending (being I found cute pet toys at TJ Maxx or DH found some tool he thought was cool, or new foot cream, or bird feeders and deer corn, etc....years ago we would have just not bought any of that.
I am still very frugal on things that I can be that I don't feel make much of a difference in life. I thrift the majority of our clothing. We wear high end, like new clothes so I see no reason to pay full price for them. I shop sales at the grocery and can seasonal items or use the deep freeze. I cut my own hair and color it and I don't see that changing since in the past when I've splurged to have it done in the shop I usually come home and cut it again and have even recolored it. The same was happening with DH's hair since we moved to our new area...he just can't find a decent barber so I was fixing it all the time. Now I just cut it myself. I've cut the boys' hair for years, but DH went to the same barber since he was in the military before we moved last year.
We do plan to splurge a lot in retirement on travel. We don't travel nearly as much as we would like right now because we have an elderly dog that needs someone home with her. Our kids work all day so they can't keep her and my parents' dog doesn't like her. She has an allergy to the shots they give dogs (almost killed her when she was young...epi shots/steroids/etc) so she can't be kenneled or around dogs that I don't know 100% have been vaccinated. So, for now we are home with her except a quick weekend trip when the boys can keep her. But we plan to travel internationally a lot when she is gone. We may do a month or two at a time in Europe/Mexico/etc. I want to go cross country slowly and all the stuff.
I would LOVE to hand house repairs off to someone, but like my hair, 9/10 we have found that we end up having to fix it ourselves even after the "expert" comes out. I can't count how many projects we have just had to figure out after having paid someone else to do it. So, I don't hold out much hope for that.
Let's see... 🙂
Not change:
I would likely stay in the house we are in, an older ranch-style house that is far smaller than all new houses and without a basement or garage. We have made some upgrades we love, the yard is woodsy and large and we love our neighborhood and location. It's also an easy house to downsize with once our kids have moved out.
Change:
I would finish updating everything that is on our list such as an old laundry room. I would hire a landscape designer for the garden which is quite wild and overgrown in places and needs a some TLC. Build out a patio with a summer kitchen, and create an outdoor oasis.
Not change:
I would not shop for more things and I would still wear out my clothes and not update electronics, furniture, home goods etc for new styles. I would also still buy secondhand when possible.
Change:
I would spend less time looking around for good deals, but would concentrate on a few good brands or stores I like and build my wardrobe on those without worrying too much on cost or sales.
Not change:
We would still cook mostly from scratch.
Change:
I would spend more on farmer's market produce and have staples delivered to our doorstep.
Not change:
I would still mostly travel to see family rather than visit exotic locations.
Change:
But I would buy a second home in my home country, where we can stay and host when visiting.
Not change:
My hobbies would stay the same (making art, biking and running, being outdoors).
Change:
I would scale back on the time I work to spend more time on making art and other hobbies, also take classes or even get another academic degree just for fun.
The last big change is on how much I spend on my children for their futures. Most of their lives we have had to spend our resources on the here and now. I would definitely help them more with educational expenses, down payment for home etc, but not change requiring accountability and hard work.
Hope everyone gets one or two of their wishes!
Kristen, this made me think of you/this discussion: I watched Desperately Seeking Susan earlier (aka one of the greatest films ever made) and when the main character comes home with Susan's jacket, which she got in a secondhand store, her yuppie husband says in disgust, 'you bought a USED jacket? We're rich!'
Interesting to compare the eighties take on wealthy living! I know I would continue thrifting.
@Sophie in Denmark, I used to dress like that in the 80s. I wish I still could without looking insane. (Ramones T shirt, ripped, 50s thrifted petticoat as skirt, concha belt, Doc Martens, my dad's old motorcycle cop leather jacket....same in the summer only no jacket and Chucks high tops, different colors on each foot, and maybe my denim jacket with Lenin painted on the back.)
@Sophie in Denmark, my first job out of college paid so little at the start of it that I shopped for clothes at the Salvation Army. (By the time I graduated I had worn out my clothes, as I put myself through school and never had a spare penny for years.) My mother, upon learning about the Salvation Army wardrobe, said, "That's for poor people!" I replied, "Mom, I am poor!"
That conversation is one of the hit parade of clueless comments from my mom throughout my life.
Oh dear. That was pretty thoughtless of her!
@Ruby, Ugh. Thrifting is now ultra-fashionable with GenZ, too.
We are at the "no need to be frugal stage" early in life. I haven't worked since my mid 30s and my husband loves to work and has no intentions of ever retiring. I like cleaning my own house and cook 99% of our meals. We travel a lot, every couple months at least, often overseas. We always drive new cars but only have one primary home, no desire to own more than one at a time. We do most of our own house repairs and clean our own cars because we enjoy it. We plan to save the majority of our assets for our children but donate generously to education and we both are very active volunteers. I read frugal blogs because I like to be frugal and it's my natural bent plus I appreciate the inspiration I get from reading about others frugal lives.
We are largely in that camp now, with the exception of funding two out of state tuition college accounts for DS18 & DS17. Because of that, we will be more cautious in the upcoming five or so years. But largely, we are in a great place financially, and I plan to return to work at some point in the near future, which will give us even more flex.
Things I would largely keep the same:
-Cook most meals at home (mostly nutrition reasons, but also cost)
-Repair things (same reasons as Kristen)
-Look for good deals (generally just makes me feel good)
-Continue to optimize as much as possible. Largely I do this with travel & consider how to maximize points, rewards, etc. I consider this a fun hobby, and something I'd do regardless.
-Track & manage expenses, because I like to have a very clear picture of our finances.
Things I would change:
-Hire someone to clean my house. I don't enjoy it, and we have hard water that's a giant PITA to get off anything. It requires a lot of scrubbing, and I have tendinitis that gets aggravated by said scrubbing.
-Splurge on more travel, and worry a little less about cost.
-Treat my family & friends more often. We do a lot of this now, but it would be fun to be able to do even more.
-Donate more. We really like to combine time and money, but it would be awesome to dial up the money portion even more. I'd like to offer scholarships to students who need it.
-Put in a bathtub! Our house has a handicap accessible bathtub (which is to say, not a tub) from prior owners, and I'm a huge bath person. I really miss it.
-I'd buy unlimited digital books. I currently use Kindle Unlimited, which is already a splurge, but I'd also allow myself to purchase any books that are not part of my membership.
@Hawaii Planner, Rubbermaid makes a battery-powered scrub brush that is so helpful with hard cleaning, what with the arthritis in my hands. Our showers would never get cleaned without it.
@Ruby, thank you! I'm going to look for this!
I love your idea of helping out single moms! About 20 years ago I had cancer and had to figure out rides for every day to get me to radiation treatment. I thought then that I'd like to be able to help people that need transportation to those appointments. So far, my job hasn't really allowed that but maybe soon I can think about the idea again.
@Cindy,
What a thoughtful way to volunteer! Right now I work part time with a schedule that changes every week, but I wonder if I contacted the cancer support center in my county they’d have information on people near me that can use a ride. It might not be a daily thing for me, but it would be good to have a time limited commitment that can make a difference to someone or multiple someone’s. Thanks for including this! Also, I’m glad that 20 years later you are well!
@Julie P, Thanks for the well wishes! I have been so blessed to have gotten through that time.
The cancer support center would be good - I wonder if they have some kind of system for matching people needing rides to those giving them? I would think area churches would be a good place to check. Several of my rides came from that venue.
It was also helpful when someone was willing to say - I can do all Thursdays (or whatever). I had a co-worker that did Fridays and my mom took me on Wednesdays which was chemo day.
If I was hunting for riders currently, I would spread the word among family and friends that you are interested in helping that way. It doesn't take all that long to find someone that has a friend in treatment.
Cindy
So much fun to dream!
Our wants are few. I/we would have someone come to our house for deep cleaning and tasks I dread (windows, baseboards, behind appliances, etc.). We would also splurge on having things repaired, rather than doing it ourselves. We also want to be able to help our kids. We watch how much harder it is to buy a home these days, and if you can manage getting a home, how little is left in the budget to get by. We want to walk the fine line between a helping hand and enabling. When the day comes that we are not dependent on a paycheck, we both want to volunteer more in our community. We also want to be able to do extending RV travel.
Reading all the posts reminded me of the beginning of Robinson Crusoe. He was born to the Middle Class but longed to be wealthy. As a result, he suffered years of isolation and struggle in a literal and figurative shipwrecked life only to realize that people in the middle class have the greatest opportunities for happiness. The wealthy were constantly in fear of losing what they have and the poor are too vulnerable to the harsher aspects of life. I always remember this quote:
" that the middle station of life was calculated for all kind of virtues and all kind of enjoyments; that peace and plenty were the handmaids of a middle fortune; that temperance, moderation, quietness, health, society, all agreeable diversions, and all desirable pleasures, were the blessings attending the middle station of life...”
― Daniel Defoe, Robinson Crusoe
As for me, I have become very grateful reading your list, Kristen. At 60, I am in a position to enjoy all the luxuries you describe. My chief goal during this fourth quarter of my life is to continue to learn; to be of service; to find wonder in all things; and to be a better wife and mother. I could have no greater goals.
@mary ann, I haven't read Robinson Crusoe but that piece of wisdom regarding middle class life is excellent. It is the premise of Victor Davis Hanson's fairly recent book "The Dying Citizen".
@Central Calif. Artist Jana, Keep in mind that in 1719 when RC was written, there was no middle class as we know it now. The middle station Defoe writes about is more akin to the upper middle class as 21st century Americans know it. There were of course the working class (more akin to today's middle class) and the poor. etc.
The middle class didn't really exist before the Industrial Revolution.
@mary ann,
I'll have to reread R.C.!
Recently I've taken to copying quotes from books I read, on A7 cards. I hope to have a box full of wisdome in a few years time. This quote would be very fitting! (Such a shame though that I have not taken notes of the app 1,000 books I read earlier this decade. Life is full of regrets).
When DH and I first married he was finishing grad school, and we knew he needed to complete at least one short-term research contract in order to be competitive for a permanent job. During these years we budgeted carefully and despite our best efforts to live frugally, we ended up using a large chunk of our savings. After DH completed his contract we were fortunate that he was offered a really fantastic job with very good pay in an area of the US we wanted to live in. (I say "offered" like the job offer fell out of the sky, but in reality it was one job offer out of a ton of black-hole applications and a very few interviews.)
All that to say, our frugality hasn't changed but what I really appreciate is that we don't choose to track everything for our budget any more. We still have automatic drafts of our savings and giving from every paycheck, and we still are careful to live within our means (no lifestyle creep for us!). But it is so nice to not enter every grocery store receipt into our budget spreadsheet and it is nice to watch our savings replenish.
I feel like that's my version of financial independence: freedom from having to budget so carefully. I enjoy working, and so does DH. We don't adjust our lifestyle upwards when our income increases, but we do adjust our giving upwards. But I most appreciate that I don't think about our budget on a daily basis.
I do recognize that there is a huge amount of privilege in our situation (the ability to go to grad school, having savings in the first place, and having a permanent position, among many others). All I can say is that we're very grateful and we do our best to live and give generously. And I hope we can teach our kids how to be good stewards of their resources and live generously too.
This is an easy answer for me. Lately, I've realized I'd want to design my own home and have it built. It would be small, for sure, but I've had this design/floor plan in my head for over a decade now, and if wealthy enough, I'd do it! I'd also, if staying in my home now, replace my siding color with my ideal siding color: mint green. 🙂
I shopped second hand clothing stores while I was earning my teaching license. When I started teaching full time and earning a good living, I still shopped second hand. It's a hard habit to break!
Two things come to mind when you speak of what you would and wouldn't do with financial independence. One is the repair of appliances, and I am speaking of smaller appliances, kitchen stuff, vacuums, TVs etc. I long for the days when they could be repaired. I think many of us do. Can a blender even be repaired? I still have some hope for vacuums. My sewing machine repair man closed up shop a few years ago. I honestly don't know if modern TVs can be repaired.
Refrigerators and washing machines.....I keep hearing people say that the repairman reports that repairs equal the cost of a new one. I would probably opt for a new one, too.
Two, I will say that on our last vacation to Hawaii my 82 year old husband and I opted for first class on the plane. We decided we could afford it and it was heaven. Unfortunately, there was a series of occurrences while we were there that permanently split up the family. It was really awful and I cried all the way home. However, I cried in the privacy of first class and it really was better that way.
@Anne, I think I would spend more to fly first class at this point. I hate being near strangers or even really close physically with most people...to just have the breathing room would be great.
And most things are just cheaper now to buy new than repair (which is horrible for our world). New 65" tvs are less than $250. Crazy!
After years of living frugally, we are now in the "and beyond" category. Here's a baker's dozen, in no particular order.
1. We donate a lot to charity.
2. We donate a ton of time in our community.
3. We have a lovely RV, which we bought used. DH does all the repairs and upgrades himself. We love to "boondock" rather than pay to stay in RV parks full of amenities we don't need.
4. I still shop at discount grocery stores and pre-cook meals to use while traveling.
5. On the road or at home, we eat meals cooked with fresh ingredients, not fast or restaurant food.
6. We shop for the best-priced fuel, but don't fret about the total.
7. We have the time, energy, and money to support qualified candidates in local elections. It's that time again...
8. We help organize and run volunter events in our community and I serve on several nonprofit boards.
9. When I got Covid while on vacation, even though it was a hard decision, I spent $1,449 (gah!) on Paxlovid so our grandkids and their parents wouldn't get sick. My insurance company won't pay for it, although I'm not giving up on that reimbursement.
10. We are still frugal, but we just don't worry about much any more. If money can solve it, then it's no longer a problem.
11. Having "enough" allowed us to take care of my MIL and her pal, AL Z. Heimer, in our home for almost seven years.
12. When I had breast cancer last year, paying for it was not a source of worry.
13. Best of all, my Inner Bag Lady (IBL) seems to have packed her bags and moved along. Good riddance!
Bonus: I have time to volunteer at a thrift store, so I get great clothes for us and spend very little on them. I recently scored a Brooks Brothers 1818 Series suit, in new condition and already tailored to fit, for DH for $150. They're $1,298 new. No way would I pay that much for a retired man's suit!
Note: All the thousands of frugal decisions really do have a cumulative effect. Keep on chugging, you will get there!
@Dicey, I am curious about your insurance not paying for Paxlovid. I thought they were required to do so. What was the company’s reasoning? If it’s too personal, please disregard my question.
@Bee, I have Kaiser (a huge HMO), and I'm on the Senior [Dis-]Advantage Plan. Everyone on Medicare is supposed to be covered for Paxlovid through 2024. However, on the Kaiser Senior [Dis-]Advantage Plan, no prescriptions that are filled out of the Kaiser Service Area are covered at any time, ever, which totally stinks. As you might guess, I'm going to fight them tooth and nail, and eventually they will pay for it, but I hate that I have to push this rock up the hill.
What kills me even more is that DH and I have had Covid twice previously, and we sought no medical help. The one time I needed it, I'm getting the runaround. Ack!
@Bee, UPDATE! I filed a grievance and they are going to cover it 100%. Yippee!
I plan to stay frugal because I think in WE terms. I may have enough money but the millions I care for who live around the world STILL don't have enough to eat, a safe place to live, and any access to clean water to name a few. My continued frugality will help us, that's me and them :). I'm here not just for myself, I'm also for my world family. "Live simply so others may simply live"
I think I'm the same age as you (Kristen), but my kids are much, much younger (6 and 7) so I'm in a different stage of life, but that also means my finances are much more stable since it took me so long to have a family. In the last two years, we've finally been able to stop worrying so much about money and so far:
1. We have a housecleaner come every 3 weeks. I'd like to change it to every two weeks, but we're not there yet.
2. We pay someone else to take care of the pool. Taking care of it isn't THAT hard, but finding the time to buy chemicals on a regular basis while my kids are small has been really hard, and now I don't have to worry about it.
3. We've started really saving for retirement now instead of doing the bare minimum like we did before, and I'm now hoping to reitre at 55 (when I had originally assumed I'd never be able to retire).
4. We bought a camper van for traveling. Traditional style travleing with my kids is really, really hard, and we live in an area where there are so many amazing things to see within a relatively short drive. It's been amazing.
5. We order food more often. My husband and I both work full time, and I've been burning myself out trying to feed everyone. I don't feel bad about having to order food.
6. We buy season passes for skiing every year. We live close enough to drive to some of the country's best ski resorts in 1.5-2 hours, and with our insulated camper van we can now stay in the mountains for an entire weekend. My kids love it, and I feel like it's one of the best gifts I can give them.
7. I bought myself a really nice sewing machine, and we finally got rid of our 20-year-old mattres (or even older?) and spent the money for something really nice.
8. Board games. I love board games, but the newer ones are so expensive. So I've given myself permission to slowly start building my collection. It's actually a frugal way to spend an evening, so that makes me happy, but the initial investment is kind of high.
Things that haven't changed:
1. I still do all my own yard work! But that might change, we'll see. We have a lot of fruit trees and I have a vegetable garden and I don't trust gardeners to not just spray everything with toxis chemicals.
2. Home maintenance. I do all the regular maintenance and fix things when they break. The only time I hire it out is if it's something beyond my capabilities (like adding a dedicated outlet for the fridge in the garage).
3. Cooking and baking. I still do most of it, even though we order out more often. If I'm able to put together a meal plan, I will do all the cooking for the week. I've mostly stopped baking my own bread, but as my kids get older I'm hoping to start again.
4. Makeup and fashion. I still haven't been to the hair salon in almost a year (I'm way overdue), I still don't spend much on makeup or clothes.
5. I ride my bike instead of driving to work! This means we only need one regular car, and I don't have to pay for parking.
6. We still have a pretty standard TV and no extra frills for it. And we limit our streaming services. I wouldn't mind having a Samsung frame TV and surround sound someday, but that day is not today.
7. We still have basic smartphones. No fancy new iphones for us. I try to spend under $300 per phone, and we don't replace them until we really, really need to. For computers, I try to find anything under $400, and I prioritize the basics (CPU, RAM, and hard drive) over everything else so that they will hopefully last as long as possible.
8. We never, ever, ever use disposable water bottles. And we limit our use of ziploc bags, aluminum foil, plastic wrap, etc. This is honestly more environmental than frugal, but I feel like it still counts.
9. I still shop sales, save up for big stuff, reuse or buy second-hand what I can, etc. I don't think I'll ever stop doing any of that.
I love this line so much...oh how this would be life changing to so many women! "Also, because I remember how hard it was to find somewhere to rent as a newly separated person without a W-2 job, I would one day love to have a rental space (maybe a duplex or a mother-in-law suite type of thing) to offer as a really cheap rental to a mom who needs to leave a marriage."
Yes! I was struggling even though I do have a source of income. Imagine the struggle when you don't have even that. I want to help someone in that position.
@Kat, I agree!
This always makes me feel incredibly guilty. But with the cost of everything out here, more than $1K a month in insurance and prop taxes, for now I have to continue Airbnbing. I wish I could charge a nominal rent to have my org lady, who's a friend now, and her elementary age daughter rent my cottage.
Brought to you by "Driving Up Annual Rental Costs" near you at "Yes I'm Part of the Problem" station.
We are not motivated by money, other than to make sure the day to day is covered, which means that we don't think forwardly enough to ever be beyond frugal by necessity. Retirement is pretty much out of the question. Fortunately, neither I nor my husband is motivated by stuff, either, so it's all going to be OK.
So, what would I keep? Most of it, I imagine. I would just as soon not have a job of any kind so that I could be more available to people or organizations needing a hand, but freelance from my kitchen table is second-best.
What would I change? We are small conventional farmers. It would be super-duper neat to be free from the restrictions of aligning our planting and cattle intentions with the USDA and federal crop insurance and commodity markets and landlords. It would be so fun and interesting to own a relatively small piece of land where we could raise whatever the heck we wanted — to try the cover crops and try the pasture rotation and try the direct-to-consumer sales, to see how well we could do with basically the minimum. This few-acres-many-purposes thing is how it was done two and more generations ago, and it would be fascinating to see what we could do with modern knowledge merged with the old ways. Just to see. It would be neat to see some successes, enough to say, "See, you don't actually have to own and oversee half the countryside to do good work." So many people don't want to be big; they just want to be independent and do good work. It would be neat, if it worked, to have a way to demonstrate to others that they don't have to follow the "bigger is better" path. And if it didn't work, then we would have had the fun of trying with a fairly low level of repercussion. (Just that we are small farmers shows that we are not risk-averse, ha, but we have to be aware/wary of results.)
@Karen., a small farmer could be almost self-sufficient if money wasn't necessary. Imagine if every needed item was available for trade. . . not possible in this day of needing gasoline, medicine, special shoes for sports, etc. There are zillions of items that we just don't have the ability to grow or make ourselves.
If I had thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars, first of all, I'd be happy that I could (and yes, I would) increase my tithes and offerings to the church, and give way more to charities and missions....and political candidates who are honest and support the U.S. Constitution. I would also get better insulation, energy-efficient windows, a new (metal) roof and a solar panel setup on the roof, plus a whole house generator (I live in Texas, and I don't trust the electrical grid here). My yard would be professionally landscaped with the broken automatic water sprinkler system fixed, and new fencing put in. (My neighbors would no doubt be thrilled at said improvments). I'd also pay a lawn care company to mow, weed and edge.....and pick up the live oak leaves when we get slammed with them each spring break. (I'd then be able to take trips in the spring!) I'd get the kitchen remodeled with the DuroStone countertops I had in Florida. Other home improvements would include hardwood floors in all the bedrooms and some sort of AC on the covered back patio for those 100+ degree days when it's too hot to sit out there. I'd go back to college just for fun and take (or audit) literature and history classes.
If I were freed from the hassle of paying monthly bills . . . I hope to God that: (1) I remember all the lessons He has taught me through pinched pennies and frugality. And that (2) I never forget from whence cometh my daily bread -- and the rightly centered "fear" that life can turn on a dime, and if all the money disappears, HE will not. Of course if money were no object, I'd buy paints, canvases, and brushes--and I'd take YOU,FG, out to lunch! 😉
I am an old dog, immune to new tricks. I do pretty much the same frugal things that Kristen does, except that I never had any luck hand sewing shoe repairs. As for changes when I "ooze money", I'm also with Kristen on her list except that I already have a paid for house thankfully and I never thought of car cleaning before but will definitely add it to my list of splurges. Years ago, a friend's husband gave her an unusual Christmas gift, a gift certificate to have her old car detailed. I was amazed at how much joy that brought her.
Kristen, sometimes it seems as if we are one mind in two bodies! With the exception of the yard care, I would do the very things that you listed. In addition, I would add a 2nd bedroom to our house, hire someone to paint the interior (it's been 25 years), and hire a landscaper to do something with the back of the house, which we refer to as "the Grapes of Wrath". MAYBE I'd buy a newish car. . . gonna have to face that regardless of rich or normal.
A lot of my habits started as being frugal but might continue for the sake of being a good neighbor or environmental cares.
I recently wondered how my life might change if I saw a landfill . . .
We recently sold a tv, partly because we wanted the $40 and partly because we wanted someone to use it.
Just want to say how much I enjoy getting your emails each day. It’s been a good ten years (or so) that I’ve been reading here, and it’s always a delight. Rooting you on!
Aww, thank you so much!
My parents are in this stage. They have been frugal out of necessity but are in a spot now where their home is paid off and they have plenty to support them for the rest of their lives. Here’s what I noticed they spend on:
1. While they still hesitate with high food prices, if they want something delicious (especially something they think their grandkids will enjoy), they will buy it. Big box of ice cream cones from Costco, boxes of mangoes, cherries…now it comes home with them whereas before my mom would balk.
2. They are quick to offer financial support to us, their kids. We mentioned that we’re looking at getting a telescope for my daughter for a class she’s taken. Before the sentence was over, my dad says “I’ll get it for her”. They want to be able to help their family and see us benefiting from all their hard work vs. us inheriting the funds once they’ve passed.
3. If there is a life event (wedding, baby shower, milestone birthday), cost is no longer a reason for not going. I think they value their family and community connections more now
4. They are still doing a lot of things themselves (clean their own house, etc) but are quicker to outsource things that are more of a hassle. My whole life, I could not imagine my dad paying a guy to swap out all the locks or fix the furnace but he did! In
My husband and I have been doing life together now for almost 31 years. We’ve always tried to be careful with spending ( it probably helps that we each grew up in frugal families) and I can’t see that changing even if we had an increased income. We do eat some meals out but I really love to cook and bake so I would continue that practice even if we could afford more meals out. So far, we’re able to do our own yard work though that may change if health issues impair our efforts. We are downsizing toward a goal of moving into a smaller home so perhaps there won’t be much of a yard to worry about. If we had extra money, we’d probably take a nice trip somewhere but at this point, small extra money goes toward needs of our son, our daughter-in-law and our grandson.
We’re also saving and investing toward retirement so our biggest pleasure right now is our dancing outings.
Kristen, I love your thoughts on providing a place ( if you had the funds to do so) for single moms or women who needed a place to stay after leaving a marriage. Your generous and kind heart comes through even if you’re imagining what you’d like to do if you had much more money and means.
This is always so fun to think about!
I'd probably still volunteer to do part of my job part-time.
I would still:
Adopt pets from the shelter rather than buying them.
Take care of my things so they last a long time.
Rarely upgrade to a new car.
Get most of my books from the library.
Stay in the same house; we have the best neighbors in the world, and I wouldn't want to move unless they were coming too.
Go to the beach in the off-season.
Things I would change:
I would never paint another room myself! I hate everything about painting and I would be thrilled to never do it again!
Hire someone to do the landscaping, planting flowers, etc. We already pay a neighbor kid to cut the grass, and I'd love to have a beautiful yard without doing the planting and trimming myself.
Have a pool! I've always wanted one.
Pay someone to do pretty much all household repairs/upgrades.
Entertain more. I love feeding people and it would be so much fun to be able to have cookouts all summer and game nights all winter without worrying about the cost.
Take meals to the hospice house more than once a year.
Get a second bathroom added to the house.
Add a room for exercise equipment to the house so we wouldn't have to go to the gym.
Give a lot more money to animal rescue and Alzheimer's research.
Start some kind of emergency fund at both of our vet's offices for them to use at their discretion.
Randomly buy, send, or make lunch for our vet's offices.
Shop just one or two grocery stores, especially for Thanksgiving food, instead of going to multiple stores for the best deals.
Travel a lot more.
Pay someone to detail/clean the car.
Leave huge tips (like 100% or more) when we eat out.
Buy and donate plus-sized clothes to things like domestic violence shelters, the Cinderella Project, etc.
Get a weekly massage.
I am in the happy position of being able to have most of what I want, as long as my wants remain relatively modest. I buy convenience but I do not buy waste.
I pay someone to clean my house (one of the first things I did when I had spare money) and deal with my lawn. I fly 90% nonstops. I fuss less about, for example, buying food at airports. I tidy my car, someone else cleans it. I walk to the (superb) close-by hardware store rather than driving to a cheaper one. I buy individual bags of junk food because then I don’t eat it all.
I brown bag and bring my own soda. I coupon. I buy in bulk. I nab plant clippings rather than buying a plant. I Freecycle and Craigslist. I buy non-upholstered furniture and books used. I turn lights off and walk or public transit if I can. I repair or get repaired. I use the public library - heavily. I take classes at the library and the community center. I ask for affiliation discounts. I take home leftovers.
I do not buy individually packaged or prepped produce; I prep my own. I do not buy water. I still cook and dislike delivery. I do not automatically increase my expenditures when my income increases. I drive a 7 year old car and hope to drive it another 10 years. I price-shop and wait for deals.
Most importantly, I don’t mindlessly spend. Everything purchase is a considered purchase.
I'm actually in the little bit of play room right now, compared to the past and possibly the future. I still do many of the thrift things I always have.
I very seldom find anything I like or that fits right off of the rack. Not only that, it's easier to thrift things of better quality.
I do have a propensity for "driving " through because of time constraints. And then I am disappointed with the quality because I am a good cook/baker and I like flavorful things and variety.
I am often able to give to others in need and causes I'm close to.
This is because I work three days a week and draw SSI. If I were not able to work, the situation would become different in just a year or so. Also, if I work more, a higher percentage goes to Uncle Sam.
I do not worry, though, as God is in control and He does take care of the lilies of the field and He has promised to take care of me.
Michelle Obama said about her frugal, generous mother: my mother found people who take more than they need, while others are in need, to be suspicious.
I dont need to be but will always be frugal.
Oh, I love your list so much. It's so fun to dream. It helps to clarify goals.
My own list looks similar to yours--continuing to cook at home and buy secondhand, but travel more and never set foot in the back yard except to enjoy it.
I would add one more item to my list--beauty treatments. I have no need for most beauty treatments, but my husband and I both dream of having laser hair removal done. And I think it would be nice to have a pedicure once a month.
@Amanda in VA, I was just thinking that everyone does have some pretty clear goals! And for many of them there are ways to start moving that direction now, rather than waiting for "someday" to come. It is so beautiful to see everyone's posts!
On a side note, I have had laser hair removal done on my armpits--- maybe 10 years ago via a Groupon that made the price really affordable. Highly recommend! It's not perfect but it is so much nicer in my opinion.
Having reached that stage of life I can say I still don't buy clothes beyond replacing what no longer fits or wears out but we did invest in an apartment in a senior center offering life care services meaning we will live here until we die with whatever care level that requires. At age 76, we are currently in independent living but there is assisted living, memory care, and nursing care on site with the only extra charge being meals if we move into the care center. For now, part of our rent includes prepaid medical care should we need that at some point. It's expensive to live here but since we don't have long-term care insurance, it relieves our worries about that. We also give more to charities now along with supporting things like public TV which was so helpful to have when our daughter was young and we were broke--Sesame Street, Mr Rogers Neighborhood, etc. were on while I was preparing dinner and that was a life saver so I am paying that forward now.
You are going to do great in your nursing career and will be able to start saving and having the extras! I know it!
I would do all the things you would still do too.
In fact I am retired, with my husband (who still works part time because he loves what he does) and so I have more financial cushion than in my VERY frugal days.
Just yesterday i was thinking: I can afford to hire someone to clean this house once a month or even every two weeks.I would NEVER HAVE TO SCRUB THESE SHOWERS AGAIN.But then, I thoughtI am getting older, I need to move MORE not LESS and cleaning my own house means I do it my way AND I get some “free” exercise.
I also could afford a few more meals out than we actually do— but I am a “super taster..” I can’t stand the taste of a LOT of restaurant food:too salty, too buttery or oily, or just too too! AND cooking is a favorite hobby.AND I don’t like those high restaurant prices no matter if I can “afford it.” I like being healthier, and I love my own cooking, so we don’t go out much. Tonight is a home made spaghetti sauce with a small amt of pork in the gravy. A side of green salad and a small side of roasted veggies with garlic. Voila.
Splurges: I will take more trips than before.I spent money on a basic economy flight to spend a great week with my fave sis in law and here sister.We will take a train to NYC to visit the JP Morgan Library and a few other museums in the Philadelphia area and we both LOVE board games and we both love to cook..so.. the cost of that trip is mostly just an airfare, WELL WORTH IT for quality family time.
I LOVE THE THRILL OF THE HUNT of consignment and resale and buy all my clothes at consignments shops and on ebay.I LOVE good clothes boho clothes and they are waaaay too expensive brand new plus my resale store has a way better selection than Dillards!
I never buy BOOKS.. I use my library extensively.Free museum passes too.
I guess with less frugality necessary I do splurge on groceries.. I don’t scrimp too much cause we eat at home all the time and that is ALWAYS a big savings..and we love good meals.
Once you have the frugal “gene” I don’t think you lose it! I still go to the 5 dollar day at the movies. Brew coffee at home. Reuse and repair.
Yes also to spending for help with heavy yard work as we get older. and appliance repairs my husband can’t figure out.
So about everyone here is in love with their libraries--what if there's nothing there you want to read? Every time I go to my local library there's always the most boring sub-middlebrow junk there. No, I don't want to read Colleen Hoover. Even if it's free. So do you just suck it up and read whatever?
@Rose, use a tablet as an e-reader and sign up for alerts on free books through BookBub. Or buy a subscription to a better library -- I live in Tennessee and have an out-of-state membership to the Queens N.Y. Public Library so that I can read good e-books.
We live just outside the city limits of the fourth largest city in the state, but can't use that city's library because of where we live without paying $50 per year. So it's a better deal to join a big library like Queens or the Houston, TX public library.
@Rose, nope. I order the books I want online from the valley-wide library system and they get delivered to my local library!
Yes on more windows!
Ice Cream... There would be more ice cream on the menu!
I would still cut my toothpaste tubes in half to get every last bit out 😉 There's lots more that I would continue to do. Funny thing is, I'm either on the frugal bandwagon or I'm completely off...... like there are two me's. :).... except for the toothpaste thing.
I have no doubt, Kristen, that your very solid salary as a nurse- in addition to blogging and a continued lifestyle making solid money choices- you will have all you wish for, and more!
I’m so, so happy for you and your future ☺️
We are in a very good place financially after years of hard work.
These are things I still do/ do now
- actively avoid all food waste
- continue to shop mostly at Aldi
- rarely get take out. When we go out to eat, I like going to a real restaurant
- try to keep power and utility bills low; conscious of our usage
- spend money to help others, whether it be donations to organizations we support, help someone purchase an item/ items they need (used car for 2 people who really needed help),
- travel will ramp up soon, after several years where it just wasn’t possible for a variety of reasons.
My husband is retired and I’m headed there as well in the next couple of years. We have saved and put away enough to live comfortably, or so I thought. Watching slightly older friends and family with more funds than us bankrupt themselves to pay for health care has been alarming. Now i don’t feel like i will ever be confident that we have “enough.” (We are both in reasonably good health- my husband has some minor chronic ailments and had a very treatable cancer a few years back.)
Hubby and are at the point where we are retired and we have more time and more money. However we will still:
eat at home or the rare time we eat out we split an entree.
Look for bargains on clothing and other items including groceries.
Take care of our things. Hubby is handy but some things he can't do and I can't bear to have him to do as it makes me so anxious. Case in point is plumbing. Anxious cause my mild manner husband becomes a frustrated and curses like a sailor. Just pay for the plumber.
We like to take little trips now like going to Florida so see family and enjoying the beach, we just went to Atlantic City (got 2 free nights and another one for $227) and were able to bring a little bit of money to gamble with. Hubby got to go swimming in the ocean (one of the very few free beaches here in NJ), walk along the boardwalk and use the fitness room. I got to play the slot machines and get out on the boardwalk.
Being able to donate to charities that are near and dear to my heart, money to keep our older cars running, etc.
No desire to go shopping and spending money just for the fun of it. My house is small and I don't have enough room! Gratefulness is a wonderful, free feeling.
@auntiali, P.S. we always take direct flights and can afford larger seating if we wish.
Travel the world in 1-3 month segments, and occasionally treat ourselves with a roomier class on flights. At 5'4" I really don't care, but my husband is 6"3" and economy on international flights can be rather tight.
Buy an EV sooner rather than later.
Hire people to re-side our house, landscape our yards, widen and re-pave our driveway, & replace our entire ranch house's wood floor.