Thankful Thursday | four years ago
(see the last item on this list for the "four years" reference!)
This week, I am thankful:
to still be healthy
It's a rough winter out there, and the patient volume at my hospital reflects that. Luckily, I have not gone down yet, but of course, it's still early. We have another couple of months of Very Germy Season to get through.
Regardless, I'm glad to have made it this far!
for a catch-up call with Lisey
Zoe and I were eating together when we got a call from Lisey, so I put it on speaker and we all got to catch up. Even Chiquita joined. 😉
for beautiful places to walk
How lucky am I to have so many trails with lovely views here??
for a catch-up with my friend
She just got a new job, so she's rather busy too. But we managed to meet up for some tea and croissants. 🙂
that I walked out four years ago
Four years ago on this day, I woke up from a dream that reflected how deeply I no longer wanted to live.
And on that day, I walked out of my marriage, although at the time, I did not understand that that's what I was doing.
My parents had asked if I could at least come to their house for a weekend, for a break, because I was honestly in terrible shape.
I could not stop crying, and I remember walking around in a fog trying to pack a weekend bag. Our bodies often reflect our mental state, and I distinctly recall that I packed in a hunched-over state, unable to stand up tall.
I felt crushed, exhausted, and beaten down, with no hope left, and my posture reflected that.
I left with the idea that I would go back after the weekend, after I'd gotten myself together a little. But then the girls and I got Covid, so we stayed away longer*. And the longer I stayed away, the more clarity I got.
Eventually, I decided I could never go back.
*Notably: being sick at my parents' house, living out of a weekend bag was still WAY better than the way I'd been living, and I felt slivers of hope peeking through the clouds.
The date would have slipped right by me except...when I clocked out of work last night, a friend texted me because she remembered I left my marriage on January 15th.
I was so busy living my new life, I hadn't even noticed. And maybe that is a testament to the rebuilding that has happened these last four years.
I used to wish I could go to sleep and never wake up; now I wake up each day excited to live.
And I am grateful, grateful, grateful.
I am so, so happy you walked out Kristen and that you are so happy now! It seems that getting sick that weekend was almost a blessing in disguise, as it helped bring you clarity (and it says a lot that it was easier being sick at your parents' house). Not that I think it's good you got covid! It's so wonderful seeing you flourish and live your best life with your new job, your girls and your cats!
My thankfuls:
1. I went for a sunrise walk and swim the other morning. It was so beautiful out and although the water was freezing, it was magical swimming through the golden water.
2. I was originally going to go to Florence with my sister. She can no longer come and obviously that is disappointing, but I enjoy going away by myself as well, so the trip hasn't been ruined. I'm thankful that I can still go and I'm sure I'll still have a good time.
3. January is kind of a miserable month but I'm thankful that I went for lunch with a friend the other day and that I'll be seeing another friend tomorrow. Going out bring some light to dark days.
4.....and on a literal note, I'm thankful for my colourful fairylights I have in my apartment!
5. I'm thankful to Past Me for going to the gym yesterday. I'm aiming to do strength training twice a week. I went on Monday and really didn't feel like going yesterday, but I also knew I was unlikely to feel like going today or later in the week, so I went. I decided I could just leave after ten minutes if I wasn't feeling it, but I ended up staying for an hour. I am also thankful to Past Me for cooking dinner last night, despite wanting takeout, so I have easy leftovers to heat up when I get back from work later!
I’m so grateful you are *living* life fully!
Your picture of water isn’t frozen over. That surprised me!
Thankfuls
-This week I started standing up straighter, literally, after years of being hunched by stress.
-I visited friends who go back a long ways (after not seeing them for nearly 3 years) it was life giving.
-financial flexibility to choose high nutrition foods that help me feel good.
-for a warm house (and body that easily adapts to the cold)
-for a long weekend this weekend. This season of frequent breaks is great for my students.
I am grateful you found a new life. You probably have the best "grateful for having Covid" story out there.
I am grateful I am still standing. There are a lot of germs out there but, knock on wood, I am still healthy.
I am grateful for some warmer, and sometimes sunny, days. They were a nice respite.
I am grateful DH and I experienced a brief snow/sleet squall while walking in the woods by a river on Sunday. It was sunny when we started our walk, and sunny by the time we were finished but in between a small squall unleashed some sleet and snow. It was beautiful and it didn't stick to the ground for more than a few minutes so we just enjoyed it. It made me laugh with joy because it was so unexpected and a sight to behold.
While odd to day out loud I am so happy your friend reached out to contact you, to remind you of all you have done and all you are worth! Not many people can look back and remember having covid as such a POSITIVE turning point in their existence.
What a momentous milestone. I kinda love the fact it slipped by you; goes to show how settled and happy you are in your new life!!!
The germs are NOT KIDDING this year. My husband has been sick for almost two weeks. Ugh. So far the rest of us have emerged unscathed. Crossing every finger and toe!
This morning I'm thankful:
- for quick dry fingernail polish (random, but it meant I could do a fresh manicure at the breakfast table.
- finally seeing my bestie after almost three weeks. The holiday season just got away from us and she's coming over for coffee later today.
- my photobook is done. What a relief. It is a HUGE weight lifted as I wanted to get it done but the sheer number of photos always feels overwhelming (it's 314 pages and literally 1,000s of pictures). I was mostly done but then yesterday discovered a 25% coupon so that lit the fire under me to just get it finished. Hooray! The hard work is done and now we just get to anticipate it arriving and looking through it <3
Do you do a photo book yearly or is it a special occasion book? My son turns 40 next month and I am working on a book containing photos from 40 years. Boy is that hard to narrow down!
So happy for you, Kristen, that you were able to see your way to your new life!
As someone who has had those types of feelings (for completely different reasons, thankfully long since gone) I am so pleased for the strength and joy you now have. Long may your upward trajectory continue.
What a difference four years make! So glad that you can wake up eager to start your day!
Chiquita is the cutest- you get her in such cute poses. ( Cats instinctively know how to pose attractively, don't they?)
Thankful
*my son's basketball coach is trying to build a team and not just support for one player.
* my reluctant scholar seems to be handing his new semester. ( at least no emails yet from teachers!) I'm trying to stay back and let him handle it all this semester.
* My daughter wore the CPAP enough to get it paid for by insurance this month. Last night wasn't good, but she'd already gotten the 21 days needed.
* Hot showers, warm cats in the middle of the night, and a sunny day.
This week I’m thankful for:
1. The warmer weather over the past week that melted the snow and ice and made it possible to spend some time outside, walking in my neighborhood and playing with my granddaughter.
2. People who are more outgoing than I am and start conversations with me.
3. My friend, her openness, her enthusiasm, her authenticity.
4. The NYT’s focus groups that help me understand how people with different political views than mine view what’s happening in our country.
5. A line from a book I read this week that has helped me remember to see people’s hearts.
JaeFi please share the quote with us if you would. We all need reminders to see
others' hearts, and not to
just react to their words, actions, or appearances. We never know another's story. But it is so hard in today's climate! TIA
My first thought is that going out with a friend for croissants and tea sounds like the pinnacle of delight. And then I read on. Wanting to live is even better!
This week I am thankful:
*for a week of relative normal.
*that I have chiropractic appointments made for the whole family. Some kids have been begging for a few weeks. We could all use a good tune-up. These appointments will be the first at our new chiropractor for 2 of the kids, and I'm glad we'll finally have them all in after our last chiropractor retired. Shifting healthcare providers isn't easy.
*that yesterday was a good day for flying. My boy got to fly laps around the airport to practice his landings. He's had many a lesson foiled by the wind.
*for those silly, abandoned kittens I didn't want my son to bring home this spring. They are so delightfully silly.
*that I got out of bed early and finished my face therapy before I turned on the computer. Do you have any idea how often the internet delays the start of my day?!
*for the coffee, the kids, the husband, my dad, my in-law's and their quick visit last week, the Commentariat, the dress that came in the mail yesterday because I feel pretty in it! That my friends will be moving closer. That I accomplished a couple of little goals. For motivation. For good books.
I’m grateful you are here and living the happy healthy life you deserve.
I am thankful that I do not have to have a mammogram every six monthes, and the physician is no longer concerned that I could have breast cancer.
That is great news! I am thankful with you!
I am thankful for this too! What wonderful news!
Your resiliency throughout all your trials has been astounding, and inspiring! God bless your parents for supporting you and your girls.
Lots to be thankful for today:
--That we got down here to Florida safely. There was a time when we were driving through torrential rain, but at least it was NOT in Atlanta rush hour traffic, and it was daylight. Thankful that we made the decision to stop in Chattanooga and that everyone involved was on board with a slightly longer drive the next day than we'd planned.
--For my friend's house. This is likely the last time we'll be coming down here--future school plans will prevent it--but it's been so lovely to rent a private residence, rather than try to find hotel rooms for a week, or a more expensive rental. Plus being so close to the beach, I'm not sure we could find anything for less in this area!
--For quiet mornings. Lately I've been waking up early (and going to bed at a reasonable time, to balance that out. Yesterday I biked down to a sunrise beach and watch the sun rise over the ocean.
--Like Kristen, I'm also grateful that none of us have come down with any bugs--either before or during this trip. In our nurse aide class, there were three students who were clearly ill but DS#2 and I managed to dodge the germs. I credit our increased handwashing; once you learn how to properly wash your hands, you keep doing it! Yes, I'd been washing my hands, but they drill into you the proper time and technique, so I'm crediting that.
--For hot tea on a rainy cool morning, and oatmeal with coconut and cinnamon.
--For DS#1 and DS#3, who stayed back up north to keep Commodore Fluffington company. While Clark is clearly (from the daily photos I get) grumpy about the reduction in his staff, he is surviving.
Karen, reduction in staff - so funny!
Oh Karen! I am so glad the humans in your family understand their places, and the proper order of things! lol
That sure is a powerful last thankful. I am thankful on your behalf that you found not only the will to go on living, but a trajectory to make just living into a real, full, and worthy life.
Thankfuls:
--That this week of virtual school is over. Hate it, and so do my kids.
--For the field trip today, which is why the week of actual school is done. They're taking all the students (all 45 . . .) to the nearest pool. That's a two-hour one-way drive, so it's a whole day field trip.
--For an administration that works hard to figure out workarounds and things like this field trip. Partially it's a treat for the kids (and their parents 🙂 )who have been dealing with all these curve balls, but also it counts as an in-person school day. The state has a limit on the number of days we can be virtual.
--For a new friend of just the last couple of years, a person it never occurred to me would be a friend but who has been very important to me in these past couple of years that have featured a lot of challenges for me.
--That those challenges really have forced me into some personal growth that probably would not have happened otherwise. A very painful process, and probably not done, but I can already see the good that will come out of that pain.
How good of your parents to take care of you and provide a safe space. I'm thankful for the healthier and happier spot you're in now!
This week I'm thankful:
* for the flexibility of my part-time job. I took it with the condition of "if the kids are off school, I'm off" and even though I feel like I'm bailing and don't like it, I'm thankful to be able to be home with my kids for their second Snow Day Thursday in a row. ("Dear Lord, PLEASE let them go to school next Thursday!") I'm also thankful that I enjoy the work and miss it when I can't do it.
* for a beautiful property to watch the snow fall on. As I walked my dog down to the mailbox last night, I marveled at how pretty the snow looked falling on the big pine trees across the street.
* for the progress on the addition to our house. We're getting ready to cut holes in a couple of walls this weekend to connect the existing house to the new part. This week I've been picking out flooring and paint colors (not my gifting, not my favorite thing to do, but I'm thankful that we're at that stage) and it's getting closer!
* for my sweet kids and thoughtful husband. My husband and my son have an item that they've started taking turns hiding for the other to find (like in the sleeve of his winter coat, or between the sheet and mattress pad on his side of the bed) and it's a lot of fun to watch. I'm not always very good at being the fun parent, so I'm thankful when my husband can fill that role.
So thankful that you are in a much healthier situation now, Kristen! Proud of you and so happy for you!
Other thankfuls...
- I got to spend the whole day hanging out with my mom yesterday before the craziness of the spring semester starts.
- Beyond the planned day visit with my mom, my week is so very *packed* (with work and other activities, even though my grad class doesn't start till next week). I think my calendar has ten evening commitments in a row! But, some margin opened up in today's schedule, so I'm grateful for the unexpected break.
- Thankful that my body is still healthy/strong enough to continue playing competitive sports.
- Thankful that January is about half done. It's my least favorite month, lol.
- Thankful for our sweet dog who loves to snuggle!
You are an impressive woman!!! So glad you are living your best life. You have persevered! I am continually inspired at how you have rebuilt your life. Well done!
Kristen: I join in what everyone else has said about your last and biggest thankful. Along with the others, I'm glad you were able to leave, glad for everything you've accomplished these past 4 years, and glad you're doing so well (and sharing it with us all on this wonderful blog) today.
My own biggest thankful today is that CF's and my visit yesterday to the assisted living facility we're considering for NDN1 went very well indeed. If we can make our plan for her work anywhere, we both think we can make it work here. The big "If," of course, will be getting NDN1 to agree to the move. We agreed with the staff that we'll start by bringing her to lunch at the facility later in January, in place of her regular Friday lunch with CF at a local Panera. (This Friday is being devoted to a slightly late celebration of NDN1's 87th birthday.)
And I too am grateful that I haven't yet caught any of this year's bugs. I credit a full round of age-appropriate vaccines, regular handwashing and use of hand sanitizer, and a daily dose of echinacea--though perhaps winter weather that's kept me more in than out should also get points.
How incredibly moving. You've done so well. Congrats on making the hard choice to save yourself. You are an inspiration.
I don't usually comment but your post brought tears to my eyes. I'm also going through something right now that makes me not want to go on but your words have given me some hope. Thank you.
Have hope. Even if some days it’s a sliver.
Sending you a big hug and a hope that things ease up for you. <3
CP, please stay.
CP, I’m rooting for you. Looking forward to seeing your name in the comments a lot more, I hope. 💛
CP, I'm sorry you're going through this. Please stay!
CP, I am sorry that you are experiencing such a hard time. I have also been there, so I can speak from experience. I was very fortunate to learn a lifesaving lesson. It isn't that we don't want to live any more. It is that we don't want to live LIKE THAT any more. That differentiation means everything. It is the reason to start picking up the pieces and moving towards your new life. No matter how small, baby steps are still progress. No matter if you fall flat on your face, (me-countless times) you are still headed in the right direction and that is also progress. You've got this. My prayers are with you. Make 2026 your year. I think I probably won't be alone in this peanut gallery cheering you on. <3
I am so happy for your new life. You are brave and inspiring.
I'm grateful, too.
It seems like yesterday, the post with you not wearing but holding your wedding ring. And I distinctly felt you were almost asking for a seal of approval (you mentioned the step was endorsed by your pastor and your psychologist if I recall). Whereas every post for the last 10 years shows you are mindful of what you do and why you do it. I am very happy that you have more self confidence now.
This week I am thankful for my own life lessons. And thankful also that covid did teach me a bit about myself and my needs and those of my family (cat included). We live at a slower pace now but make sure to have plenty of "friends and loved ones" time.
Finally, I am thankful to see the first tulip leaves peeping through the last snow. I think this is such a promising month, nature preparing the leaves and flowers that we will marvel at later in the year. A bit like an early pregnancy I suppose!
All the HUGS, Kristen.
Wishing you all the best on this anniversary!
For this day, if you have time, I think you would appreciate the song "I'm Here" by Cynthia Erivo (from The Color Purple musical)
I will look it up!
Over the last 4 years, you have created a new life for yourself. It has been inspirational to your readers. I am thankful you shared, and I wish for you much future happiness.
I loved that Chiquita joined in on the call. Calico Kitty, who recently passed, used to "talk" on the phone to my son. When he called I put my phone on speaker, she would run from the other room and meow at him for a while.
It has been a challenging week. I have a rather difficult sister, but I am so thankful for DH who helped me sort through the most recent difficult problem of her creation. She has always bullied me a bit, and I am thankful that I finally learned to "fight" back. It only took 6 decades.
I am thankful for blue skies and sunshine on a chilly morning, a delicious cup of coffee, and the beautiful day that lays ahead.
Wishing you all the blessings of peace, good health, and prosperity.
sorry about your sister. i am an only child and always wished to have siblings. it was so lonely growing up. i had a cat and a dog though.
Anita, that is a difficult place to be too. I was 10 years younger than my sister. I think she was always mad that I came along. I love her, but she is just difficult.
My mum had a sister like that and so does my MIL. I don’t talk to my 3 siblings and I’m fine with that. They were not healthy relationships.
My MIL wants my partner to be closer to his 2 brothers but she said “I’m sure they love each other and think ‘nobody hurts my brother but me’”.
I tried to be kind when saying (a) they’re not that close, and (b) that’s a horrible sentiment. I’d rather have nobody hurting me!
I have an impossible sister six years older than me. She invented meanness, snark, nasty barbs and selfishness. Lucky for me, we live a continent apart and my DH has my back. It takes two to get along, and I offer you the peace of detachment. It helps me to cope, and has allowed me to recover mostly from her cruelty.
When I was at university my mother would put the phone to my cat's side so the cat could purr down the line to me!
Congrulations, I also left a trouble marriage 20 years ago, the best most important thing I ever did for me.
Sometimes, it is the very, very, very best decision you can make. I'm so happy you are happy with your decision too!
Kristen, four years ago, you chose yourself. You listened to that quiet, brave truth inside you and took a step that changed everything. What you’ve built since then is nothing short of remarkable.
My thankfuls are all related to having a sick grandchild:
1. I'm thankful that my job is so flexible about me taking off. I got a call from our daughter an hour after I got to work to let me know that grandson had just thrown up at daycare and needed to be picked up. She had just called back her first patient of the day, so Nana left work and raced to pick him up.
2. I'm thankful that I was able to dig through the closet, twice, to find our daughter a shirt to put on after he threw up on her. She is much, much, smaller than I am!
3. I'm thankful to have a working washer and dryer at my house. I did 3 loads of laundry of things that got dirty from his sickness.
4. I'm thankful I had already planned to make dinner for our daughter and grandson, so I was prepared for them, SIL, and our son to all have dinner at our house.
5. I'm thankful that after a rough day, grandson did not throw up all night. Hopefully it was just a 12-hour bug.
Grandma to the rescue!
Sometimes - often - distance gives clarity. It's why, when one ends a relationship or makes a big move in some way and the sadness and fear / anxiety kicks in, it's best to not contact the ex even just for a few days, to not plan a trip ''home'' too soon, because your head and body need to catch up with the change and start to feel what they really feel...
And so you did! Terrifying at the time, well done to your parents for keeping a reasonable head and not doing what they must have dearly wanted to do, namely, arrive with the cavalry, scoop you up and save you, even if they had to drag you, but rather letting you just be and process and hang out and talk / not talk.
That’s the happiest Covid story ever!
1. I’m very thankful that I haven’t caught the ‘flu yet. Here’s hoping I won’t. I’m also thankful that only one of my daughter’s 4 kids got it. That’s almost a miracle, that it didn’t tear through the whole family. It’s been over a week and so far the others are well.
2. I’m thankful that my boss has offered to let me work as little as I want and he will keep my insurance up until I actually retire.
3. I’m thankful that I found a heat lamp bulb at the hardware store to put in my pump house. We have 23F predicted for tonight. We used to be able to just put a 100 watt incandescent bulb in there but those days are gone.
4. I’m thankful that we have another chance at rain coming up. Our area water management district is asking for voluntary restrictions on water use now. Our last rain did almost nothing at my house.
5. I’m thankful for a working heat pump and insulation in my house. I grew up in uninsulated houses in the upper south and for many of those years with a coal furnace that cooled down at night. I don’t miss that. I always laugh (wryly) at the furnace scenes in “A Christmas Story”.
You have come so far in four years! I love reading your blog because you find joy and contentment in the smallest of things, and I want to be more like that!
I am grateful this morning for waking up in a warm home. It's cold outside for us in the deep south today. I want to be more conscious of being thankful and grateful for the things we seem to take for granted so easily.
Praying you stay germ-free this flu season!
Mandy, one of my on repeat gratitudes is when I start making my tea in the morning. The complexities of God's provision and grace is astonishing. The free and easy access to as much clean water as we want is available to the vast majority of us. So much so, that we usually never give it a second thought. Yet millions around the world, including in the USA don't. I pour my filtered water into my electric kettle- it is a treasure. And the miracle of just plugging it to the wall and having all that energy to use with no effort on my part. Oh, and the tea. From all around the world it comes to my little house. One of my blends comes from 3 different continents! Imagine how many people's labor that took. Then the best of all. Sitting in my chair, warming my hands around my favorite mug and tasting the deliciousness of it. Cannot have a bad morning after that much blessing! Enjoy your blessings everyone!💖
This post resonated with me and has sparked a lot of thoughts on the topic of change and time.
Four years is both a long time and a short time. People can become paralyzed by the fear of how long it will take to reach their new goals. Your example illustrates perfectly that time will continue to pass, whether we take a step forward or not.
People naturally resist change, sticking to what feels familiar and stable, even when it becomes unbearable. External factors, (in your case, the pandemic) will thrust change on us when we are unable to make that move ourselves.
Yes! I have done a lot of steady plodding along a path for the last four years and whoa, look how far I've come now!
Maybe stop plodding and start ... skipping! Jumping for joy!
Haha, yes, I do that too. But I will say that when it comes to the piles of paperwork I've had to do, it's a little more like plodding.
I don't think any of us can top your four-year thankful post! So happy for you. We've gotten to see you blossom over these past years. It has been a marvelous thing to behold. Like the old Virginia Slims commercials used to say, "You've come a long way, baby, to get where you've got to, today!" Congratulations.
Today, I'm thankful for:
--getting to sleep last night without being congested despite having cedar fever allergies.
--somehow getting through the 5-hour work shift, standing on my feet the whole time, despite back pain. (I go to the chiropractor today, and it's also my day off.)
--Having a day off today. Yipee!
--Getting my computer to sorta kinda work again, even though I need to switch it out.
--Snuggles, my dog. He's been very loving -- even more than usual-- these past few days. I think he knows I'm sick. Oh, and he's starting to bark at passers-by and postmen, just like Miss Lucy Dog used to do. That makes me feel extra safe.
I often say, "And then I got my sparkle back!" when I share the story of leaving my marriage. 🙂
Kristen, I'm so proud of you, your determination and grit. I know what it takes to leave a marriage (especially when it seems simultaneously sudden and a long time coming). I know you are proud of yourself and the full life you are building. 🙂
My thankfuls:
1. a warm heater at my desk at work where it tends to be a bit too "office cool".
2. the planned meatloaf my mom is cooking for our family dinner tonight. I know I won't always get to have "mom's meatloaf", and they don't come around often these days, so I'm going to cherish it.
3. we didn't get the 3" of snow that was predicted last night, so there was in person school; routine and consistency are very helpful to this single mamma.
4. my stable job with good pay and benefits that I somehow landed in 17 years ago. There are ups and downs, but overall, it's a good place to be.
5. my new to me car that I paid for in cash after totaling my previous car by hitting a deer. After about 2 months sharing a vehicle with my mom until I could find a reliable car at a price I could afford (meaning, pay for instead of borrow for), I'm very thankful to be on this side of car shopping and be settled in to my now car that I hope will last a very long time.
Kristen, btw, love the Civic. I'm happy for you! 🙂
Our bodies DO reflect our mental state! I learned that the hard way in college. I went to the campus clinic because my back was hurting for far too long and after talking with the doctor he flat out asked “how long have you been depressed?” I broke down in tears, but that was the answer. I was deeply depressed but didn’t understand that I was and my body was crying out for help. Thanks to him, I now know some signs to look out for.
This week I am thankful…
• Our calendar is filling up with fun activities this year!
• For time with friends this weekend. I had a night out with one friend on Friday and volunteered with another on Saturday.
• How easy it is to volunteer! We have a few organizations in town that you can sign up to help out for just 1-2 hours at a time.
• How my family has normalized celebrating other couple’s anniversaries. They took my husband, son, and I out for dinner on Saturday to celebrate our wedding anniversary. My husband kept saying how nice it was (and I agree) but to me it was not out of the ordinary. I grew up where our extended family would regularly celebrate other family member’s wedding anniversaries and upon reflection it is a beautiful way to support other peoples marriages. I love that it is a tradition in my family.
• I have been disputing a charge on my credit card for a product that I bought that ended up being a total dud. My dispute was closed yesterday and my card was fully refunded for the charge. It was a six month ordeal with the vendor and my credit card company so I’m glad the matter is finally closed.
• Our puppy has decided to snuggle up with my husband every night on the couch. I am usually the one benefiting from evening snuggles from both our dogs, but the puppy has started snuggling up with my husband each night and I can tell how happy it makes him.
I'm so very happy for you! Thrilled that you made a very difficult decision (series of decisions) that led you to a much happier place.
1) Sunny days & walking outside
2) My friend & family group
3) DS19, getting adjusted to hard classes, working & studying + asking mom to leave him leftovers for dinner in exchange for "bonus hugs".
4) A planned date night with DH, before I leave for a work trip to London.
5) So much to look forward to over the next year: hiking trip to NZ, hiking trip to Zion, Greece with friends, family beach trip... so much fun ahead!
I'm SOOOOOOOO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!!
2 days from now is the 4-year anniversary of when my husband of 24 years filed for a very unexpected and very unwanted divorce. But I'm grateful for how far I've come and how much I've healed with the Lord's help and my good choices.
I'm so happy for the healing you have experienced too!!
I'm grateful you are still here...
I am so thankful that you walked out, and that by sharing your story here, you may be helping others to do the same.
I am thankful that my daughter made it safely to her new town and was able to secure a safe place to live.
I am thankful for a mild winter. It is so nice not to have had to shovel snow (so far).
Thankful that the days are getting longer.
Thankful for a few sunny days to enjoy the extra sunlight.
Thankful for reliable cars.
Thankful for my fur babies who bring me so much joy.
Thankful for good friends who support us during hard times.
Thankful always for my DH, who is my best friend.
It is always my hope that my story reaches the right person, someone who needs encouragement to see that there is life on the other side.
A friend of mine likes to call these big, life shifting moments rebirthdays. So wishing you a very happy 4 year rebirthday, Kristen.
I am grateful to you for modeling so many positive things for your community and family. I am so glad you have this new chapter in which you are thriving and that your hard work, perseverance and courage are being rewarded. Your ability to focus on the good (and to articulate the cost and pain your experienced) is an inspiration to so many - especially to people experiencing similar challenges. Thank you.
I am grateful to have a chapter where I have time to reflect and enjoy many things.
I have learned so much from FG ams Non-Consumer Advocate (and the commentariat) about minimizing food waste, making do with what I have and how to navigate this world in as a positive a fashion as possible. This allows me more latitude to support others and to quietly be a positive influence at times.
am so grateful for you and your newfound happiness. it didn't just come out of the air you worked hard for it. yay you. grateful that the nurses at my zoe's hospital have not gone on strike. no discharge plan for her yet. she has been there since before christmas. at least we celebrated chanukah together. how special that the three of you had a phone chat together.
@anitaisaac. Sending you and Zoe thoughts of healing, comfort and strength.
I'm grateful you're still here, Kristen! And much happier. 🙂
This week, I'm thankful for the flexibility my job allows me (sometimes I have to duck out to run an errand, and they're always understanding about that) and the cooler weather. It's cloudy and a bit rainy today, but I'm so happy it isn't 80 degrees. (It should never be 80 in January, in my opinion!)
Amen! Only south of the equator. UNFORTUNATELY, sometimes in the southwestern deserts it does happen. : ( I am a soup, sweaters, and hot cocoa winter kind of girl. So I appreciate all the cold we ca get.
Kristen, thanks for sharing this! You never know where it might lead. I kept talking as I healed (years ago) from a horrible situation which led to divorce. Later, I learned that was what empowered my classroom paraprofessional to leave her very physically abusive marriage.
Sometimes we have no idea who we are inspiring!
Happy anniversary of the first steps toward your beautiful life!! Always forward, never back. You're a rockstar!
I'm thankful that I've been reading your blog since exactly four years ago. Because I remember the first blog entry I read was your post about being at your parents' and having COVID.
Oh, that is such a funny time for you to have found me...in the midst of my life reorganization!
A BEAUTIFUL testament - so happy for you
I genuinely could not imagine a life in which you were not out there helping others. You are greatly needed on this planet, and I'm glad your parents encouraged that weekend. It might be a nice exercise to get some beans (or rice..whichever is more frugal), and each time you help someone through your work, you stick a grain or a bean in a jar. Since you're at the start of your nursing journey, you could totally see your impact in a very small way <3
Aww, I love that idea!
Well, now I am crying at my desk. What a beautiful story of a very hard time. I am so proud of you and happy for how far you have come.
This week I am grateful . . .
-for a good interview yesterday for a job. I am in an academic field where it is very, very hard to get a job. (Compounded by the fact that academia is in crisis right now.) But yesterday's interview gave me some hope. This job wouldn't be a forever job, but it would give me a mighty big boost closer to where I want to be.
-for more job applications that are still in play. If this job doesn't come through, I have more opportunities coming. And I have a six-month runway.
-for all the work coming in to my husband's business. He is so busy, he has started working overnights again (in addition to days). I don't know how he does it. But I am grateful for his stamina and perseverance.
-for our penchant for frugality, which has kept us from having to make some tough choices when things got tight from time to time over the last few years.
I cried when I typed it too; grateful tears to be in such a different place now.
I am also thankful for this anniversary date for you, Kristen. I am not sure how the Commentariat would have handled an abrupt and surprising end to such a positive life and blog, realizing how hurt you were at that time. Woe to him who inflicted this injustice.
I remember events, but for the life of me, I don't remember the year of occurrence. My niece, whom my sister gave up for adoption was born this date probably twenty-six years ago. Since she is an adult and since her parents determined there was no danger of us meddling, and with the death of my sister to ALS a few years ago, it is a much more open situation. I am thankful for all involved. I am thankful for this birthday.
I am thankful that I received my new debit card yesterday after the ransomware debacle. It sure was a damper not to have it. It is a handy convenience.
I am thankful for the sunshine in spite of the cold temps today. I do not handle gloom and cold very well at all.
I am thankful for my new glasses. We strengthened the prescription in the left lens and it has made a big improvement. The frames are still lose, but when I am out and about, I'll get them tightened.
Kristen, I am so happy you made it out! You can be more then proud of yourself.
Real victories are never a sprint, so this is well earned.
We are still as ugly sick as can be, but there seem to be no extra complications (Good!).
So thankfully hanging out in a warm cozy house with well stacked pantry, giving little doses of not too complicated entertainment to the disease impacted brains.
This is the cutest and most joyful description of being sick that I’ve ever heard. It gave me a chuckle and then my DH as well. Feel better soon!
Kristen, I'm so grateful that you left when you did and for your parents' refuge. And I never thought I'd say that I'm grateful that you got COVID when you did! Not remembering anniversaries is a terrific indicator that the situation no longer defines your days.
Kristin, I'm so glad you are still with us and doing so well. Thank you for sharing with all of us. Congratulations on your wonderful new happiness.
I am grateful for you.
The picture of Chiquita on the family call! Cuteness overload!
*Very thankful for this blog! Congratulations, Kristen, on how much you've accomplished in this last four years. You deserve all the happiness. 🙂
*Grateful for an unexpected day off today due to the weather conditions. Don't want anyone to be hurt driving out there, of course, but soooo nice to be inside while the snow keeps falling.
*Hung out with one of my oldest friends this past weekend. Our friendship began when we met in college. Don't see her as often as I'd like to. She kept a memory jar last year. She and her husband read all of the things they did on New Year's Day. It is a motivator for her to continue to get out there and enjoy life. I began my own memory jar when I returned from our shared lunch outing.
*I am so ridiculously chuffed for my son. He was offered a position as a type of teaching assistant by one of his professors from last semester. It is great experience, will look good on a resume, and he gets paid. Not too shabby for an undergrad!
*My husband recently began a full time job. It is related to what he had been doing. We are grateful for the needed income.
It brings tears to my eyes thinking of how much you have been through and how very far you've come. Some seasons in life are just so heartbreaking. I'm cheering for you over here as you continue onward in your new plans! SO very glad for you that you are in such a healthier and more joyful life now! It inspires me. Sending you love today!
Thankful for:
1. A furnace that has kept going through week after week of 40 below and colder. This is the most prolonged super cold snap since 1904 and machinery is getting weary of continuing to function at such challenging temperatures.
2. A visitor from Minnesota who brought with her a bag of persimmons. They were impossible to get here this year, and they are among my favorite fruits, so this effort on her part to bring something was especially appreciated.
3. the Dane continues to bond to us. When he first came he would literally avert his head if we tried to be affectionate and leave the room if possible. After the abuse from his earliest months of life, he trusted no one. He has been with us almost two years now and we were beginning to lose hope. But suddenly he is initiating play and affection. We still have to hand feed him because he had to fight for food and gobbles any food so fast that he chokes, but now I have hope he might learn new habits there as well.
4. For several of my favorite authors releasing books this month and next, so I have some reading pleasure to look forward to.
5. The husband, always the husband.
Lindsey - your doggie story warmed my heart. You both are a blessing to him.
Lindsey,
My brother-in-law and his wife got an older puppy/dog from a breeder. The first time we met her, they brought her to our house. She always cowered away from people. Dark places. A couple of years later and she is a different dog! I am not an animal person really, but I was so thrilled to see the progress. I have a feeling hurt people aren't that much different once trust is earned.
This is a more random thoughts post for me.
Kristen: Your post about leaving your marriage just rendered me to tears. I am thankful that you have moved ahead and have a happy new life.
* My situation is different in that I left a bad job, I had a boss who was so abusive towards me mentally and emotionally, I was in such despair. I called my father after a particularly nasty run-in with her, and my dad said "just leave". (2006, I had been with the company for 13 years). I immediately handed in my 2 weeks notice, and left without a job waiting for me. It took me a year to get over the feelings of inadequacy and mental despair, but I finally (mostly) made it through.
* My library had a tea festival, at which there were vendors selling tea and other components related to tea. It was out of my comfort zone to go by myself, but I pushed through, and had the BEST TIME EVER.
* got my eyes checked yesterday so that I could get an updated script for new eyeglasses. I'm having a lot of problems reading with these current ones they are so old (2018), progressives. On a good note, my distance vision has improved. I read small print without the use of my eyeglasses (inherited from my mother no doubt).
* SNOW! @A-Marie, you must be getting walloped like us! (Southern Ontario). SO MUCH SNOW! It has been snowing since 6pm yesterday. Though it is just beautiful to look at. Hence today is a stay at home day, though I do want to get outside to get some fresh air (-11 Celsius). They even closed schools today.
* I am thankful that my doctor gave me a Flu shot in November. This time last year I was so sick, also for the months of March and April (no Flu shot last year). So far so good this year, no cold or flu for me.
So happy for you and your new life!
I am thankful for YOU—for the reminder that there can be good things ahead—even if “right now” is hard…
I’m so glad you’re alive and thriving ! The world needs you! You have so much to give!!
I’m thankful to be healthy and happy.
I’m thankful for strong relationships in which love and truth and encouragement flow.
I’m thankful for chicken/rice soup and sausage/bean soup which are serving us well this winter ( along with other meals but these are favorites).
Tears in my eyes for you as I read your post. I know the path. January 10th, three years ago, I left after the final straw in a long battle with my spouse’s addiction. I also went to visit my parents in another state and never went back. It’s funny that your post prompted my recognition of the dates. Usually, I think of it as vaguely in January of 2023.
You have clearly moved away and through the “situation” with grace. So happy that today is now an anniversary of joy and peace. I am aware of your prior faith journey, so I will say for myself that God has been so faithful to me and my kiddo in the midst of all the destruction and sorrow. Recently, the book, “Surviving an Unwanted Divorce” was given to me by a friend. I highly recommend it. It brought attention to something I wasn’t even consciously aware of that had become an unhelpful pattern (leftover from my marriage).
Thanks for sharing your story. Peace and heaps of blessing on you and your kids.
I am so HAPPY for you that you are free too!
🥰Thank you!
Im so glad God has blessed you with a fresh start. Im so sorry you were struggling that much! Life can be very painful.
This week I'm thankful for:
--going out to eat with my DH in observance of our chance meeting 35 years ago.
--that the sun came out today in full force; yesterday the weather was very icky going from freezing drizzle to full blown whiteout driving snow.
--I've been able to take time for myself to do both yoga and a strength workout (fell off that wagon back in June). It feels so good to do something to keep my brain and body strong and healthy.
--fruit daily! So yummy!
--time spent with three of my grandkids after school: the kindergarten and preschool/toddler set.
I am grateful for my 6 healthy grandbabies, although the 3 youngest just had, or will soon have, tubes inserted in their ears. But hopefully that will alleviate all the ear infections and garbled speech.
SO SO SO SO GLAD you MADE IT TO THE OTHER SIDE OF YOUR VERY BAD SITUATION. YOUR LIGHT HELPS ME EVERY SINGLE MORNING AS I SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS AND ACTIVITIES, AND THE INCREDIBLE COMMUNITY OF OTHER FRUGAL MINDED, KIND PEOPLE HERE.KRISTIN, YOU ARE THE BEST! I AM SURE LIFE HAS SO MUCH MORE GOOD STUFF IN STORE FOR YOU.Woops..I hit caps lock by mistake but I'll leave it.. why not yell our Joy from the rooftops! Congratulations on this journey!!!!
Congratulations, Kristen. I am thankful that your feet carried you out the door and on the path best for you. By extension, I am grateful for the community you have created, joyfully frugal!
And for
My new piano, a much better instrument than my old one;
For our contractors, working away on our porch in spite of Arctic temperatures;
For the lovely aroma of chicken roasting for dinner;
And for our affectionate little rescue cat, who purrs with the joy of being inside, warm and dry and fed. Maybe with a touch of hope for chicken tasting…
Grateful that you walked away and found yourself. It's been a pleasure watching you blossom.
Grateful that my daughters are close by and close to us.
Grateful for my husband, who is the sweetest human being on earth (and a great cook!).
Grateful for satisfying, if crazymaking work.
Grateful to come home to my family and dogs and good food at the end of a long workday.
This day and all the comments should be applauding you and congratulating and cherishing you! You did an extremely hard thing and not only did you survive, but you are THRIVING!!!
I know I speak for most of the commenters here when I say, “ Well done” and here’s to being valiant and letting others lift us up and paying it forward as you do every day!!
So much love to you, Kristen! ❤️
And you too have survived this! I'm cheering you on as well. 🙂
❤️❤️❤️
Kristen, that last photo in your post says it all - such joy there is in your face!! I'm sorry you had to endure those years, but so glad you made it out - you were courageous and you were saving your own life. So happy for you!!
Hello Kristen, I’m am so very glad for you that the Lord pulled you out of the miry clay and set you free by giving you the strength to move on. You are a big inspiration and encouragement to many. And of course we love the frugal which has been my lifestyle for many years.
Gods blessings to you and your girls.
Patricia
So happy that you wisely walked away from a bad situation. Your smiling face says it all.
I'm grateful for the two medical appointments I had this week that cleared my mind. Neither condition is bad. That's a very good thing
I'm grateful for my snug bed, the roof over my head, my fridge and pantry overflowing with food. We are so lucky to have a high standard of living.
I'm grateful for the sunshine we had today that made the cold weather bearable.
I'm grateful for silver linings in tough times. I'm stressed right now, mostly because of the problems of several family members, but in every bad situation I can see some good, which warms my heart.
I'm grateful I found this blog, and Katy's blog. I can't tell you how much it helps to enter this happy, reasonable, and calm world. Thank you!
This is so inspiring! I’m so happy you are living with a new zest for life! I find this post very encouraging. 🙂
i was married 34 years and left - it has been 22 years out of the marriage. Be happy you found out before you stayed bc you felt that is what you should be doing. you look happy and are young enough if you so desire to marry again! just live each day to the fullest and enjoy life! that is my wish for you
I'm thankful that I rarely get sick and have yet to have COVID.
I'm thankful that Kristen got COVID that weekend and everything that she's has made happen for herself since then.
I'm thankful that the days are getting longer. Living fairly far north in Canada means very short hours of daylight in the winter. The flipside is that it stays light out until 11pm in the summer.
I relate to your life experiences. Just a quick note to tell you that I will pray for you.
I am actually reading this on Friday but will add mine anyway.
I was sooo thankful that the snow that fell overnight (6 inches!!) was light. It makes it way easier to hurl it over the whole driveway into the huge pile. Also, it makes that huge hump that the plow leaves at the end of the driveway easier as well. We get extra as we are on the corner and the huge plow blade leaves sooo much.
I am thankful that my husband knows all about such things as gas leaks. He detected one near our furnace gas line and will be able to (most likely) fix it.
I am so happy that you are living the good life !!!! You have accomplished so much in the last 4 years and are truly an inspiration to so many. God Bless!!!!
So much love to your Kristen!!!!! I’m so glad you left and are still here.
You worked hard these past four years to be where you are now. You should be very proud of yourself. And I am happy, that you are now happy to wake up each day.
So great to see your beaming smile and love for life!
1. Beyond thankful for my students and how they are working well in the new class groupings this semester.
2. For the fun, interesting, and unique aspects of each learner. One is studying cosmetology and helped me think how to ask my hairdresser for what I want. Another loves to invent wacky "Would you rather" questions for others to consider. A couple examples of many.
3. For Monday off in recognition of MLK Jr. Day.
4. For a light dusting of snow that's pretty and no need to go anywhere.
5. For so many things in life that seem negative but prompt positive changes.
🙂