Sort of a Q&A
I am doing a pretty poor job of keeping people's names with their questions, so some of these are just gonna be general responses to topics I've been getting questions about!
Dry Eyes
Some of you had asked about the eye mask I'm using for my dry eyes, wondering how it helps.
My dry eyes are actually a result of my skin being so greasy. (Err....self-moisturizing.)
It's a little counter-intuitive, but it's true. There are little glands in your eyelids (meibomian glands) that secrete oil, which is supposed to lubricate the surface of your eyes.
But my body produces so much oil, it clogs the glands, and then my eyes get dry. The dryness makes it hard to wear my contacts, which is why I often opt for my glasses.
I usually have to go in to my eye doctor's office once a year for a special heat treatment they do to unclog the glands, but at home, I can wear my little eye mask every night for about ten minutes to help soften the clogs and get the oils out.
So if your dry eye issues are from the same cause as mine, the microwaveable mask can help. But if your problem is due to something like your eyes not producing enough tears, then I don't think the mask is recommended as a treatment.
My eye doctor is able to look at my eyes through his instruments and actually see the tiny clogged ducts, so if you are wondering if you've got the same problem as me, I'd recommend paying your eye doctor a visit.
(You can read more about meibomian gland dysfunction here.)
Upside-Down Days and Synesthesia
When I showed my planner in a recent post, with my mornings at the bottom and my evenings at the top, Lee said,
Kristen, I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone say that they visualize mornings at the bottom of the page. What do you make of that? Have you always thought of it that way?
I have definitely always imagined my days this way and since I am such a visual thinker, I have a hard time working with a planner that doesn't match what's in my head.
I wrote a long time ago about my spatial sequence synesthesia, which is basically just a fancy way of saying that some people have a visual map in their heads for things, sometimes in shapes and orders that make no sense to other people!
I've read that synesthesia is considered to be a type of neurodivergence, and I recently learned that people on the autism spectrum are three times as likely to have synesthesia.
I've never talked to an expert about this, because honestly, my synesthesia doesn't really cause me issues. I can't imagine thinking any other way, and I can't imagine trying to remember things without all my visual maps in my head!
The weird way my brain functions is working fine for me. 🙂
Cooking and nursing
From yesterday's post:
Have you thought about how your cooking/ frugality will change after you become a nurse? Your comment about not wanting to cook after being in class from 8:00 to 5:30 made me think of it. I understand not wanting to come home and cook after that, but when you’re working as a nurse won’t shifts at least that long be common?
Oh, for sure. My nursing shifts will probably be at least 12 hours long, and...I probably am not gonna feel like doing much cooking after that.
However, I know there are nursing jobs where you might work three 12-hour shifts, and then have four days off. So hopefully I can do some cooking ahead of time on the days off so that I can skip cooking on the work days.
But I also am not opposed to planning to press the easy button sometimes, which is what I did Monday! I bought a rotisserie chicken, baked some frozen sweet potato fries, cut up some fruit, and called it good.
I trust that I will figure it out, though. I've managed to be frugal and to cook at home consistently through a lot of different life situations (and a lot of challenges), so I think I'll manage as a nurse too.
Cooking at home is important to me for both monetary and health reasons (same goes for packing my lunch.) And when something is important to us, we usually figure out how to make it happen!
If you want to watch me navigate all this, well, keep reading my blog. We know I'm gonna write about it. 😉
Not being able to help
This is not a question, but I wanted to add it in. Adam Grant posted this the other day on Instagram:
"It's not just seeing suffering that's painful. It's hurting for others while feeling unable to help."
And I thought that summed up what is so hard about watching what is going on in Gaza.
I read the news about the airstrike on the hospital yesterday, and I cried again. I was talking with my friend Kathleen, and I said, "I'm working my butt off to go to school to become one small nurse, to try to go save/improve a few people's lives, and it almost feels pointless because at the same time, POOF, 500 lives were just snuffed out in an instant."
I am powerless to overcome loss of this magnitude. Other than donating to organizations on the ground, I can't do anything to help.
But after I cried about the hospital strike, I finished my enema/stoma lab homework. Because even in world where terrible violence exists, we still need nurses to take care of patients in mundane and ordinary ways.
________________
Holding you in my heart and sending you prayers while you strive to become the best nurse you can be! (Being the best nurse you can be is a way that you can strive to make even your corner of the world a better place- and sometimes that’s all we can do)
Yep. And if lots of people make their corners of the world better, that does add up to a big impact, even if each contributing person is small.
My son's surgery on Friday was the first time I had been in a medical situation since my daughter was born six years ago (today! my baby girl is six!). We had SO MANY nurses that were a part of this, from pre-op to IV placement to surgical to post-op to teaching him how to use his crutches. At least seven of them. And every one, without exception, was so kind and helpful. I know for sure that I do not have what it takes to be a nurse, but I also know for sure that nurses make such a huge difference to the patients. It's not a small thing.
Aww, I am so glad to hear that everyone was kind and helpful. YAYYYY!
I've had some MEAN nurses in my time. So glad you are not going to be one.
@Kathy Wolfe, sadly, medical folk of all types are subject to great burnout. The pandemic really pushed that up a notch. Everyone from doctors to nurses to imaging to cafeteria, housekeeping...an entire hospital or clinic can feel the effects. It causes huge staff shortages and less than stellar care. You really have to advocate for yourself and your loved ones in these very trying times.
@Gina from The Cannary Family, yes I am in the medical field and it is tough right now. There was a period of three years where they refused to give anyone vacation bc of a combination of large projects/staff shortages. Everyone was so burned out. Our hospital is shorthanded all over, from ER to Lab to even Cafeteria and Housekeeping. It is completely demoralizing when your departments bathroom is out of TP for days bc there are no replacements available! We finally resorted to bringing a stash from home!
@Sabrina,
As someone who works in a Food Service-adjacent job (I'm a hospital dietitian), those cafeteria and housekeeping jobs are among the lowest paid jobs in the hospital and elsewhere, they are physically taxing jobs, and yet critically important to the running of the organization. The hospital where I work had an initiative several years ago (pre-Covid) where the absolute minimum ANY position in the organization would pay is $15/hour....prior to that, Food Service and Housekeeping staff was paid *less*. (Obviously, those with more years in, more experience, etc., could have higher wages). Both departments are frequently under-staffed, because why make $15/hour when you can make more elsewhere?.
"Because even in world where terrible violence exists, we still need nurses to take care of patients in mundane and ordinary ways."
The nurses I've met through hospice, cancer care, and surgery are incredibly empathetic and kind.
Cheering you on in your nursing journey!
I have heard especially good things about hospice nurses! That is probably a kind of work you go into because you feel a specific calling; probably very few hospice nurses are there just to collect a paycheck.
@Kristen, Hospice nurses are worth their weight in gold. Talk about a job being a Calling! We were bless with wonderful ones when my dad passed away
@Sabrina,
And you know who else are worth their weight in gold? THe nurses who populate the chemo centers. They are a very special type of nurse just as those who serve in hospices are.
Unfortunately with not enough nurses, getting the care you need, when you need it, is very very difficult. If you do not have someone with you in the hospital, you very often are in bad shape both physically and practically (I have had to beg for toilet paper in a hospital; ask multiple times for a toilet seat as I could not walk to the bathroom, and other things. ) No one can be in ten or more places at a time. I have heard so much from the nurses. Too bad the people who run the hospitals ignore the people who basically ARE the hospital. Greed at the top as those execs with big bucks cut salaries, jobs and resources to pad their own salaries.
@Sabrina,
We too were blessed with our Angel nurse last year. She took care of my Daddy for 5 days. She and her coworkers were there with us through the worst days of my life. Even afterwards, they checked on my Mom to make sure she was ok after losing her husband of 60 years.
I think your history of being frugal will benefit you MORE once you are working those long structured hours. People who don't have that background and commitment might not have the diligence and foresight to be able to plan ahead. Working 12 hours means knowing you will be out of the home at minimum 13 hours. It means meal planning for lots of easy to pack and reheat foods on hand.. It means having small containers of yogurt preportioned in the fridge for easy grab and go rather than trying to do that last minute.
@jes, you've said very well what I've been thinking. I don't think Kristen has much (if anything) to worry about re: planning her meals and her schedule through nursing school and afterwards. She's got the chops.
Please teach us as you are going through nursing school. I would love to hear about more health topics that you are learning.
A few years ago I had to beg my son not to fly to Iraq and join the Kurdish Peshmerga army. He was badly affected by the suffering of the Kurds. ("Peshmerga," by the way, means "Those who face death.") I convinced him that he can do more for the Kurds here by enlightening people and writing about it than to go be shot by the Iraqi army or ISIS.
@Rose, as you probably know, Vanessa Bell (Virginia Woolf's sister) had a similar argument with her son Julian before he went off to serve as an ambulance driver in the Spanish Civil War. He was killed only weeks after he got there, and by all accounts, Vanessa was never the same again. I'm glad you were luckier with your son.
@A. Marie, (my son has the same name. sniffle.)
So many famous, idealistic young people fought there: Esmond Romilly, the anti-fascist activist (nephew of Winston Churchill) who ran away to the war when he was 18, with his girlfriend Jessica Mitford. They married, had a baby who died, and then Romilly was killed in a bombing raid in WWII.
George Orwell, one of my top-fave favorites, wrote "Homage to Calalonia" after his service. Etc.
Catalonia, duh.
It may seem benign, but to me, with situations like the hospital strike or Gaza or homelessness, I can't physically do anything and can't financially do anything (shoot, like many, I'm treading water trying to keep my head above water), so I offer up a prayer and mentally I move on. It's literally all I can do and I've had to make peace with that.
@Jennifer, My pastor Linnea once told me, "People say 'the least I can do for you is pray.' But prayer is not the least you can do for someone; it is the MOST you can do for them!" So do not discount the value of your prayers; God hears each and every prayer we pray.
@Jennifer, Prayer is such a powerful weapon and often times more needed than a small donation to an organization. There are of course practical needs as well but we shouldn't discount the importance of prayer and the gift that it is. Prayer changes things my friends. Just my two cents.
Never underestimate the impact you will have as a nurse. When I had an endoscopy I was terrified when they put the guide tube in my mouth because it was an unnerving feeling of being helpless. However, the wonderful nurse saw the fright in my eyes and never took her eyes off mine while holding my hand and soothing me as I went under anesthesia. That really put me at ease. She was there with a big smile when I woke up.
Nurses help the family members too. The nurse who cared for my husband after his surgery made sure to text me to keep me updated and allowed me into the recovery suite as much as she could and patiently explained everything they were doing for him. That also put me at ease. I knew he was in good hands.
As for frugal eating, it's funny, but for us the local grocery store has rotisserie chickens that are often cheaper than buying one and cooking it ourselves. I still prefer home cooked because then we can control the ingredients. We try to do a big cook on weekends so we can just reheat leftovers and if we do need to add something to the meal it's a quick item like a side salad or frozen veggies. This week it's picadillo spaghetti pie.
Yep about the family members part! One of my textbooks, after every explanation of a procedure, goes through an evaluation part and one of the questions you are supposed to ask yourself is, "Was this patient and their family better off for having had me be a part of their care?"
Caring for a patient does also involve helping the family!
“And their family” I love this. Nurses my son has had have poured into him and me—providing knowledge, comfort, advocacy when we needed it. I wouldn’t be half the Medical Mama I am now if it weren’t for some fabulous nurses along the way.
Yep. Good patient care needs to look at the whole of a person's life, and that most definitely includes their family/caregivers!
I'd never heard of clogged glands as a cause for dry eye, perhaps because, luckily, no one I know of in my family has had problems with dry eyes. I too, had wondered how a sleep mask helped dry eyes.
As someone routinely gone from the house for 11-13 hours a day, five days a week, I can promise you Kristen, you can do this! I cook ahead on weekends, use the crock pot, and also make easy, fast to cook meals on weekdays when I don't want to eat leftovers or a crock pot type meal. I pack my lunch and snacks the night before, no matter how tired I am. It will take some adjusting and learning, but I know you'll manage.
We have three nurses in our family, two RN's and one LPN, all naturally cheerful people, which is what I think most nurses probably are. In my experience, the majority of them strive to do their best and keep a smile for their patients even when the patients are being horrible to the nurses. We've experienced some utterly wonderful nurses and a few - a very few, but they exist - nurses who were utterly horrible. I would imagine a horrible nurse is also a pain for the other nurses to work with.
I suffer from dry eyes and clogged glands too. I am the opposite of oily though. The worst is waking up in the middle of the night feeling like the sandman dumped his entire bag of sand in my eyes. The heated eye masks do help with my issue.
My schedule as an XR tech is exactly as you say - three 12's and four days off. Since 36 hours is considered full-time, it works great for me as far as enjoying all of the benefits of being full-time. Some medical folk also work four 10 hour shifts, which gives them a little less flexibility I think, but it entitles them to automatic overtime if they go past 40 hours. With my schedule, if I take on an extra shift, I'd be working the first four hours at straight time, then after I hit 4o I would start earning time and a half. Are those 12's long and challenging? YES. I do not cook on those days, opting to load up a crockpot before I leave home, or pick up something light on the way home. Sometimes all I have time for is cereal, then bed. But those four days (T-F) I can get an enormous amount of stuff done and I can debrief myself from the hospital for a true mental break. And on those days, I cook!
That all makes sense to me! I'll probably operate very similarly.
I am a doctor, but from the few times I have been a patient myself in a hospital, it was the care and kindness from the nurses that I remember. I barely remember the doctors. One of the most comforting conversations I had was with a nurse's aid who just took time to listen to me. You will make a huge difference in people's lives, even when it feels mundane to you.
I once worked for a very kind, compassionate and wise man who had seen me being upset about a situation where I could not help nor was I sure anyone else could. And he told me that we do what we can, wherever we are and that there are always ways to help someone even if it is not the intended person or group. His point was, don't focus on what you can't do or who you can't save, focus on what you CAN DO. He was right.
War and its impact have been with us forever, and people did not feel the impact unless directly involved with family or friends. For years now, we can literally see what is happening every moment and for every feeling human, our hearts are torn. We are not diplomats or generals or political giants who have the power to stop the war and the damage of all kinds. That said, there is always something we can do in our daily lives to make someone else's life better (and if you can't think of anything, you're not trying hard enough.)
I have been in the hospital multiple times in the last three years and I have witnessed first hand how COVID, insufficient supplies and understaffing have demoralized the nurses who are all, with rare exceptions, still pouring their hearts into helping as best they can. One nurse I had was a young woman who had been born in the PHillipines. She told me that despite the situation and circumstances of burnout and scarcity in the hospitals, she felt honored to be able to have come here and trained to be a nurse. She said she had to ignore everything that didn't work when she came in, and just act as if everyday was the first day that she was working (to erase as much as she could the debris of accumulated stress). So wise at a young age. Perhaps youth alone provides that type of resilience.
Nurses have truly made the difference in all of my healthcare especially when diagnosed with cancer. They often do what the doctors fail to do (so many things) and make the difference in how safe you feel and whether or not you feel as if you will get through your hospitalization.
Remember, there are millions of you out there around the world training to join nursing. Remember what YOU with your life history bring to your profession as a nurse. YOU MAKE A DIFFERENCE. Even now, with what you are learning, you are already mor able to step in with friends and family to provide information and guidance.
No matter what a nurse makes, it's truly never enough when they are doing their jobs. And I have to add that some nurses for whatever reasons do have to leave and should leave. I have also witnessed nurses taking out their frustration on patients and it is more than a little upsetting. I have more respect for someone who says: No more. I just cannot. Than I do for someone who stays and passes on their unhappiness. I feel that way about any position but a nurse is a major factor in your healthcare and healing. Let alone staying alive in many situations.
Look around and see what you can do to help someone. You may not be able to help with the wars going on now, but you can help someone who struggles with daily life.
Years ago I rode the subways in NYC multiple times a day. At one station, the man who was in the booth where they sell metro cards (and tokens years ago) would hand write a quote of inspiration every day. People would stop JUST to read it. You have to understand, people rush in/out of subways, people only stop to purchase metro cards.
Several days, no quote, no booth man. We all truly missed it. People would read and smile and in a small way, it improved their mood as they rode. (Always helpful)
So never underestimate that a kind word of gesture can make a difference.
@Irena, Beautiful, start to finish. Thank you for all of this.
@Irena, I think I remember that booth. Midtownish, right?
My ways of coping with the atrocities going on in my country nd my world are like yours: I wake up and DO what I can, the small things.I am part of a Caring Neighbors program with my church and I have some “check in” phone calls to make every morning to see if neighbors need anything at all.. a kind word, a grocery stop, a dog walked,etc.. I try to practice KINDNESS everywhere I go: the grocery store, the check out counter at the pharmacy,etc.. I volunteer at a local food bank so i know I am helping the poeple directly within my locus of control.
And, I pray.A lot.
I think those efforts are all really important.
I am so thrilled that you are going to be a full blown RN pretty soon. I am so proud to be a (retired )RN.
Everything you are doing is..enough.
RN turned NP going on now almost 20 years. I understand this, and we need you.
As mother Theresa says- if you want to change the world, go home and love your family. I think that also applies to your area, town, hospital/community. Be the difference for the person in front you- and thats a big difference enough
I value and appreciate nurses so much. My dad was a doctor and he always said he couldn't do what he did without them (and everyone else, including the cleaning staff). One of my nieces is an emergency room nurse with additional training in handling some of the more difficult cases - shootings, stabbings, etc. She runs toward things that most of us would rather run away from. I'm getting choked up just typing this. And the tears really start to flow when I think of the nurses and aides that helped my mom and all of us in her final months at an assisted living facility, ESPECIALLY those whose cultures value and honor old people. Some of them even came to her funeral. Those facilities wouldn't exist without them. Kristen, I am beyond certain that you will be beyond fantastic in whatever you choose to do.
Kristen,
Checking in here from an embattled, bleeding, heartbroken Israel. First of all, it has been shown by now, and confirmed by media outlets such as CNN, NYT and President Biden himself that the explosion was caused by a malfunctioning rocket fired by Palestinian Islamic Jihad, an armed group allied with Hamas, that hit the Ahly Arab hospital. It's heartbreaking that so many people died, but especially heartbreaking when done in the hands of their own people who care nothing for their safety and wellbeing, so blinded they are in they hatred towards the Israelis. I've spent nearly two weeks in and out of bomb shelters. I have been to four funerals of young people I know. I lost two colleagues. My neighbor's son has been taken hostage into Gaza. There isn't a family who wasn't affected by the barbaric, heinous massacre of the Hamas terrorists on October 7th. It is the single-most tragedy to befall the Jewish people since the Holocaust. This must end. People need to stand up against anti-Semitism and not remain silent. Golda Meir, probably the wisest woman in history, said: “When peace comes we will perhaps in time be able to forgive the Arabs for killing our sons, but it will be harder for us to forgive them for having forced us to kill their sons. Peace will come when the Arabs will love their children more than they hate us.” Pray for peace in our region. Pray for an end to their hatred against us.
Ohhh, Talia, I am glad that you are ok, but I am so very sorry that you are experiencing such terrible loss.
Thank you for updating us. Sending you all the love.
@Talia,
♥♥♥
Oh Talia, this is so very heartbreaking. Thank you for sharing your update with us. I've been thinking of you and will continue to hold all of you close to my heart. Sending you much peace.
@Talia, thank you so much for sharing your close-up personal knowledge and experience with us. "Pray for an end to their hatred against us" is a new thought, not that I didn't know of the hatred, but that I hadn't thought of praying that way. I've heard it said that if the Arabs lay down their weapons, there will be no more war; if the Israelis lay down their weapons, there will be no more Israel, which is truly unthinkable.
I’m a physician assistant in one of the poorest and most food insecure zip codes in Philadelphia.
Often the issues my patients deal with (significant medical diagnoses) and their families deal with (poverty, violence, trauma, unstable housing, lack of food) is really overwhelming.
It could be easy for me to say how can one person- who is trying very hard to care for them- matter? It does matter! It matters to them! It matters to me! And if sone of the things I do to help them change their lives for the better, then mission accomplished ☺️
You will make a huge difference in the lives of the patients you will care for, Kristen!
They will be fortunate to have such an intelligent, competent, and caring nurse ☺️
Oh, I can imagine that sort of situation can be discouraging sometimes. I think your attitude is perfect, though, and that's the thought that keeps me going in the face of terrible tragedies in the world. I can't change the world, but I can change the world for one person (the patient in front of me).
I have to say, I love your posts. It is heartwarming to see you work so hard to accomplish your goals. I've worked as an HR leader in a hospital and now in senior living. Nurses are special and nurses who love what they do, are extra special. I watch the nurses who connect with our senior living residents and am amazed at the bonds they make with the resident and family members. I thank you for choosing this profession!
So here is a recipe I tried this week that is not expensive and is good. Also, you can make swaps if you are vegetarian or like other meat. https://www.themostlysimplelife.com/simple-food/cheater-lasagna/
It will feed a family of 4. Add a little parmesan cheese and you are golden!
Hang in there and keep that + attitude :-). Being mom, working and studying is not easy but it can be extremely rewarding. I speak from experience. Cheers!
Aww, thank you for your kind words!
I don't think that buying Rotisserie chicken & sweet potato fries with fruit is a bad meal. Honestly, a Rotisserie chicken (from Sam's club in Michigan) is only $5 (which is less than $1/pound). and bonus it's already cooked.
The important thing is to cook & eat meals at home which is cheaper than take out, mostly healthier.
I find it interesting that you said that your way of thinking/daily calendar is possibly related to the spectrum. As a former early childhood teacher we know that people learn (& remember) in different ways, sometimes a combination of ways of learning. Many people are visual learners & also put lists of importance for their day/schedule. Obviously your nursing is at the top of list/day which makes sense that you prioritize that time/afternoon & evening. The (physical) act of writing helps you mentally remember better & recall later. Glad that you know what works best for you.
As far as the events that are occurring in many places around the world, including the effects that happen here in USA the only answer that makes sense is to do what we can -- positively/help where you can & pray.
I pray that for the best outcome & safety & peace.
Interestingly, no matter what has been going on in my life, I have always thought of days this day. I can remember as a kid thinking of my weeks this way! I really don't know why, and for a big portion of my life, I thought everyone else thought this way too. lol
I am super interested in your synesthesia! I work with people with autism, and so much of what I do is trying to figure out how their thinking/perceiving is different so that we can build a bridge from how the neurotypical world is presented and how they best understand it. Then building toolboxes to use as needed. There are so many cool ways to process things and I love helping people figure out their unique code, but I hadn’t yet thought about processing time from the bottom up like that. It totally makes sense, and now I’m not sure I can see it the “usual” way. Shall we petition apple and outlook to make a calendar option for bottom up? (Advocacy is a side effect of my day job 🙂
Anyway, on the nursing schedule, I think you’ll actually be fine, right now, you have the hours to do, plus the never quite finished pressure to study in all of your free moments, so I’m guessing that you’ll have more time and brain space when you’re finished with school. I AM interested in how you manage everything with an irregular schedule, since that’s one of the things I can’t change about my job either.
Glad that nursing school is going well - you will be an amazing nurse!
When I worked 12 hours shifts I did big batch cooking on my days off, and then used the extras for quick meals and lunches on work days. I started "filling the grill" after seeing one of your blog posts years ago, and having the protein already cooked and ready to use was a big help.
I packed lunch and snacks the night before, and always kept emergency food stashed in my work locker if something happened to my packed lunch. I only had 45 minutes for lunch, and didn't want to waste my time driving somewhere to get food. I'd much rather be able to relax!