random! random! random!
Today we're taking another tour through the randomness that's occupying my brain right now.
I've been slowly cleaning up my house, room by room.
It's gonna be tidy up in here by the time second semester starts in late January. 😉
___________
Sometimes I forget that this house isn't mine. Like, not forever-mine.
But then I think...almost every house is temporary in a way.
I mean, I lived in my last house for 17 years, which is a long time, but 17 years still is not forever.
And most of us will not take our last breath in our "forever" homes.
So, maybe it's better to realize that homes are just varying degrees of temporary. And if that's the case, then it's good to embrace the moment in whatever home I'm in.
This is my house. For now. For the rest of the time I'm in school, at least.
And even though I don't own it, I know I'm gonna be sad to say goodbye to it when the time comes.
___________
I was telling a friend yesterday that my internet search history is probably a DISASTER after this past semester.
I googled so many random body-related questions because lots of what we learned in school sparked other questions for me.
For instance, I was learning about precautions you have to take while caring for a patient on chemo because some of the person's bodily productions are toxic from the chemo.
Then I wondered, hmm, if your spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend is on chemo, can you still kiss them?
(The answer is yes, according to my Google research!)
And at one point during lab, I searched to see whether GoodRX has opioid pain meds and what the prices are (because we were having a lab question about how to help a patient who is having trouble affording meds).
(The answer: GoodRX does indeed have affordable prices on a lot of opioids. There, now you don't have to google it.)
My internet search history does not reflect my quiet, unremarkable life in a fairly health body. 😉
___________
I only have a little bit of clinical experience under my belt, but I think one of the best things I gained from it is that I'm now less afraid to get up close and personal with patients.
My first day, I almost felt a little bit disrespectful; it felt odd at first to give a perfect stranger a head-to-toe bed bath and diaper change!
But by the time I got to the end of clinicals, I was way, way more comfortable with that.
Also: being with real people versus manikins* makes you THINK about what you're doing.
*That IS what they're called. I'm not misspelling the word!
When we do our head-to-toe assessment practice on manikins, it's more of going through the motions, but with a real person you are actually listening for breath sounds and heart sounds.
With the manikins, we just say, "I'm inspecting the skin for wounds, incisions, rashes, redness, and color." but with real people, you do actually see skin breakdown.
And this is why good nursing programs do lots of clinical hours vs. lots of lab hours. There's nothing like practicing on real, live people.
___________
I think I am really good at talking with patients; that part of clinicals was very easy for me. I like people, and I can be friendly with pretty much anyone.
And I think this even though one patient, when offered a day with a student nurse (me) said, "Haven't I suffered enough already??" Ha.
I feel good about my soft skills; I just am less confident when it comes to my medical skills; that's gonna take some time and practice.
___________
I'm on break from school, but...we do have a pile of reading and some assignments to do before we start back at school.
And we have an exam, a med-math test, and competency testing almost as soon as the semester starts. So, my brain is still a bit occupied with school because I have work to do over the break.
But as long as I start promptly and spread the work out, it shouldn't be too bad.
__________
Alrighty, I think that's the end of my randomness for today!
An empty agenda lifts a weight off your shoulders, doesn't it.
I still lie awake thinking of people in my family that need care, and how we can organize that for the years to come. But then having a holiday still means there is no harm in my feeling groggy in the morning. I have no obligations this week.
We've been doing a lot of DIY lately and the results are so satisfying. We are catching up on some 10 years of being fulltime employed workers and carers with youngsters in the house (plus menopauze). I enjoy using muscles I forgot I had. And our house (that has been our home over 25 years) is more inviting now we get things done.
It does help that my present motto is : It is better than it was before. Also I have discovered thay I thrive more on habits than on goals. Goals you meet, or else you fail. Habits you keep, tune, maintain. And if circumstances lead you to skip a habit for once or twice, you pick it up again. A habit is its own reward.
@JNL, May I ask what DIY resources you've been using? We've a partial bathroom remodel coming up in the next few years to redo the bathtub corner--I don't even fit in the tub at 5'4," let alone my 6'2" husband--and I'm gathering any and all info!
@JNL, There are two wonderful books out, Atomic Habits and The Power of Habit. The premise of both of these surround the development of good habits that have positive long- term results. Perhaps this should be my focus in the coming year. (See below).
@N, When I was looking at new houses a few years ago, I noticed that Kohler makes a standard 5' tub but it's extra deep. Nice. That's not what you asked but wanted to mention.
@JNL,
You write: Goals you meet, or else you fail. Habits you keep, tune, maintain.
This is BRILLIANT! I love this. What a great way to look at our choices and behavior.
Very motivating. LOVE IT!
Thank you.
@Irena, Aw, blushing now. Thanks!
@JNL and Irena, I felt the same way about your goals vs habits comment. It’s also so motivating as opposed to defeatist. Thanks for the succinct comparison.
@Irena, I agree 100% with your assessment of JNL's brilliance here!
@JNL, James Clear says "you don't rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems". I think of this often as I also am working more on habits and systems, and not just writing goals.
Love this post 🙂
Break starts soon and I still have quite a bit to do, so I’ll need to exercise my “time warping” skills to make it happen. Or I could see if someone could do one of the things I don’t have time to do.
I’m going to have so much time for a week. But it will likely be filled with all things I have put off this semester. I wonder when I’ll feel like I have margin again. I find it odd how little margin so many of the people I know have. When did this become the norm?
@Kaitlin,
I've wondered that about margin as well. It's something I have to fight to have, but I want to keep fighting for it. That said, some seasons definitely allow for the possibility of it more than others! (I'm in the midst of a less-margin-than-usual season, but know that it won't always be like this.)
@Kaitlin, I like your comment about "margin." I once explained my deliberately uncluttered approach to life to a fellow copyeditor by saying that "I like a lot of white space in my life." I think we're on the same page here, so to speak.
@Kaitlin, I have an absolute need for appropriate margin to feel well. I’ve never heard it phrased that way until your post and it’s perfect.
@Erika JS, Or perhaps "frame" or "mat", (as in the kind of thing put around the picture in a frame), would be a good image, as it makes what is in the middle of it look better.
@A. Marie,
I like that phrase, "white space".
Before we bought our house, we lived in the same apartment for over ten years. It was the entire bottom floor of a converted Victorian, so it was basically a house, and it was a good home that saw A LOT of life. We treated it as though it was ours, and I considered cleaning and preparing it when we left a gratitude exercise. Even though we told our landlord to keep the deposit no matter what because there was bound to be something that needed it, I went so far as to fill nail holes and paint over them. (Our landlord had long ago given me permission to paint and always approved my colors--I kept the leftovers for touch ups). When I patched and painted the walls of my studio room, I found myself crying and saying aloud "Goodbye, and thank you" because hundreds of paintings took place there. Likewise, when we were waiting on our landlord to give him the keys, my husband and I walked through each empty room and had a silent moment of "Goodbye, and thank you."
TL;DR, Kristen, I'm glad your house has become such a home for you, and I hope that when the time comes to move on, you're similarly overwhelmed by feelings of "Goodbye, and thank you."
Personal randomness: I treated myself to an antique radio at Habitat Restore. This has led to 1) rearranging my studio so that it has a safe place to be (the cats and I would have to have words if they scratched it), 2) realizing just how many friends in my circle have antique electronics repair skills and 3) preparing to refinish the elaborate wood case myself. Understandably, none of the potential repair people have time until after the holidays, and I want to finish the case first so I'm not risking new parts when I sand, etc. It should hopefully be back to working order by the end of January!
TL;DR, Habitat Restore is DANGEROUS, my friends, especially without adult supervision!
@N, PS--Before I get chastised for refinishing the case, I'm fairly certain the radio (which is built into a fold-out table--even Google can't find anything quite like it) was used as a plant stand in one of its past lives, as the varnish is absolutely shot. It also reeks of cigarette smoke, so I'll be trying my luck with odor removal via activated charcoal (in a container, not directly on the wood) before it moves into the confines of my studio.
We already know I'm never gonna chastise you for refinishing an old, stinky piece of furniture!
@N, I did the same when I left our family house. I thanked the house for being such a wonderful home for me and my children and told it I would always love it.
@N, I inherited the large 1960s console stereo when Mom passed away. I wish I had friends with electronics repair skills. I have many fond memories of sitting on top of it and singing along to the music.
@Beverly, You could probably pay someone to refurbish it. I know there are people who do that scattered around the country.
@Beverly, Is there an appliance repair shop in your area? Chances are the staff can either do it or know someone who can. The radio I’m rehabbing is from the 1930s, vacuum tubes and all; if there are repair people for that, there are bound to be even more for your 60s console!
@N, studio? Where can we see your art?
@N, I'm in my fourth owned home and I always thank the home that I am leaving.
@N, I love your comment about saying goodbye and thanking a home. This made me tear up and feel nostalgic as we moved to a new home last year. I lived in my former home for almost 29 years and it was where my kids grew up. I thought I was the only who felt the need to say goodbye to every room.
@Central Calif. Artist Jana, I can't share my art* without doxxing myself, and the Frugal Girl is one of my few purely "just for fun and not art/work-related" sites. I hope you understand my wanting to keep it that way. 🙂 I'm here for Kristen's otherworldly kindness, the community, and to learn and share about frugality. Thank you for your curiosity, truly! Again, I hope you understand.
*Indeed, I'm usually extremely careful to type "office" instead of "studio" and to not mention painting at all. Sentimentality for our old apartment was stronger than my sleepy brain this morning!
@N, I do understand. Thank you for the explanation. This is also a "just for fun and not art/work-related" site for me. I just got overly excited seeing you are an artist too! Maybe I should be a bit more careful myself, but then, I am a small fish in a small pond.
This is such a crazy week. It always is the last week of school before our long (17 days!) Christmas break, but this year, with tomorrow being our last day, we're running right up to almost Christmas Eve. This is making me feel very harried.
A baking story for you: I went to our staff party last night, to which we all brought a food contribution. I wasn't at work yesterday, so I made cheddar biscuits right before it was time for me to leave. I always taste dough when I'm baking, to see if it needs more salt mostly, and when I tasted this dough, it tasted . . . sweet. But none of the ingredients have any sugar in them. I spent some time puzzling this out, wondering if my milk was weird or if sugar had gotten into the butter or flour somehow. And then I remembered I had washed my salt crock a couple of days previously and left it on the counter to make sure it was really dry before re-filling it.
Someone else re-filled it. And that someone put SUGAR in my SALT CROCK. It's for salt! It actually says "salt" on the side! IT IS NOT FOR SUGAR.
Sabotage.
I added the salt to the biscuits while I was kneading the dough briefly, and they were fine. But I have been baking non-stop lately, and now I'm wondering what else had sugar in it when it was supposed to have salt.
I told this story to all of my co-workers last night, because most of the things I've baked have been going to school for parties and so on, and none of them could think of anything that tasted weird, so maybe I'm okay.
Still, though. Kind of annoyed about that.
@kristin @ going country,
I’m glad the salt-sugar switch was not disastrous! It can be. Before we knew my mother was beginning to suffer from dementia, she baked my husband a carrot cake for his birthday without any sugar.
My sweet husband ate every bite of the cake my mother served him. I remember right then why I had fallen in love with him.
Aww, I love that he did that. What a good man you have.
@Bee, what a sweet man to eat that cake!
@kristin @ going country, at least it was sugar instead of salt. When zi was a kid we were doing some massive baking one weekend & my sister went to get large clear sugar container from pantry. I remember that when first batch of cookies cooled & went to taste/eat one I took big bite & almost immediately spit out---it was horrible!! My sister had grabbed the salt container instead of sugar. It looks the same in unmarked clear storage containers. We had to throw it all out! And we made triple batches of everything.
@Bee, What a good guy!
@kristin @ going country,
I don't know if you've watched the show Ted Lasso, but there's an episode where he accidentally uses salt instead of sugar in the shortbread cookies he bakes and brings to his boss Rebecca every morning. The look on her face when she takes a bite is hilarious.
Kristen, I love that you are so comfortable in your rental. You deserve it.
I have a yoga teacher that says we are temporarily able bodied. While I don't like the concept of that she is correct.
A friend and I have been trading off weekly having each other over for lunch. It helps me keep our house cleaner and tidier.
Ohhh, that is true about being able-bodied. What a good reminder to appreciate the mobility we have NOW.
I've googled some of the same things! But as a spouse not a nurse. My husband went through chemo this fall. Our doctor told me I could hug him, but our kids with their smaller still developing bodies couldn't. We all used a different bathroom than he did. And even though it was safe for me to kiss him, I often didn't because his neutrophil count would drop to 0.
I've thought a few times in the last few months that you'd make a good oncology nurse. I think they're a special breed. They've kept me sane for the past 5 months.
Oh wow, I didn't realize little kids couldn't hug a cancer patient. That's so hard.
I'm so sorry that you all have had to walk this tough road.
I think we will get to have a clinical rotation with oncology...perhaps it's where I am meant to be? I don't know. The good thing is that we have clinicals in a lot of different types of nursing, so we get to try a lot of different areas out to see what's a good fit.
@Kristen, that's awesome that you'll have clinicals in different types of nursing. For what it's worth, when I was going to school to be a paralegal, the type of law I ended up loving the most wasn't even something that occurred to me as a job possibility. You never know what's going to just click for you.
I suspect you'd make a good hospice nurse. I wonder if most of your readers picture you in the type of nursing where someone has made a difference for them or someone they love, though. That could be a fun polling question!
I also think you're kind enough to be a good SANE, and from what I understand, there's a shortage of them, which makes sense since that must be so emotionally hard.
Haha, that would be a funny poll to do!
I figure that I will go into clinicals with an open mind; I THINK I know what types of nursing I want to do, but sometimes you really don't know until you try various types of things.
@Kristen,
My child (now 15) has been through cancer treatment twice- going on 8 years total now. The nurses, PAs, NPs and doctors who care for him are special people. They all clearly LOVE their work- no one gets into pediatric oncology for the $ 😉 and they make the whole process seem so normal. They always alway treat our child and our family like people first. When we were inpatient for two months for the bone marrow transplant, my child did not want me to decorate the room. They didn't want it to feel like home or like a permanent place, which I understood completely. Other kids in the unit really wanted to feel cozy so they put those peel-off stickers on the walls and windows in their rooms. I did bring fresh soft pjs and blankets and pillows from home to make the stay more comfy. I think it's possible to make any place feel like home and it was interesting that my child purposefully did NOT want to make that hospital room feel like home because they needed to know and feel like it was temporary.
I think you would make an incredible pediatric nurse but I'm biased;) I am so grateful that you are going to nursing school and that you are taking this journey for yourself. I know we haven't met but it seems so "Kristen" of you to do something for yourself that actually will make the world better for so many.
Have a very Merry Christmas!
Aww, I'm so glad you guys have been well-cared-for.
Pediatrics is one field I am strongly considering since I have always been good with kids. We'll see how I do in the pediatric rotation!
@MB, I'm not sure if your child is still going through treatment, but if they are, you might want to look into Chemo Angels if you haven't already. It's a volunteer organization that matches buddies to send fun/happy mail to people going through chemo. I know it's not for everyone, but some people say it makes a difference.
@Danielle L Zecher, Let's face it. Whichever branch Kristen goes into is going to be lucky to have her. I'm voting for oncology or hospice because people who are good with kids/babies* are common, but Kristen would bring something special to oncology or hospice.
*They love me, which goes to show you.
@Danielle L Zecher,
Thank you- Chemo Angels looks great! Fortunately we are out of the chemo phase (God willing forever) and into the long-term maintenance part. We have been very well looked after. It was strange and a bit unsettling at the start to be on the receiving end of the kindness of strangers and of charity but kids are kids and they all love mail and gifts:) Make-a- Wish was phenomenal as was Alex's Lemonade and their super sibs program for our other child (who was in 4th grade when our 1st grader was diagnosed.) Our older child really loved getting the Super Sibs mail. And our local Children's Hospital is incredible (CHLA for any SoCal peeps)- the Literally Healing, Child Life, and Therapy dogs are among the many, many volunteers who make the kids' hospital visits and stays as fun and easy as possible. My kids wish that they had therapy cats but can you imagine? A cat in a lap when an IV line dangles- funny not funny!
Kristen- pediatric nurses and medical people are truly such special people. Being a people person and a mother of four I think it could be a good fit but as Danielle experienced with law- I think you'll know your specialty when you go through rotations:)
xo
@Kristen, Here is my guilt-ridden sad story. I have been a nurse for 36 yrs. My husband died of cancer 5.5 yrs ago. I had an upper resp infection right before he died (I was so run-down & tired & heart-broken). I leaned down to kiss him before I left when I remembered that I was as sick as a dog & he was terminally neutropenic. I jerked away from him & we were both so distraught by the rejection. I wish I would have just planted a big, sloppy kiss on him. It wouldn’t have changed the outcome. And I would feel better tonight. Sigh. Cancer sucks. Period.
Aww, this makes me so sad for you. AND I am sure that both you and he know you did that out of love and care for him.
I can imagine how you must play this scene over and over in your head. I am so sorry for your loss!
Kristen, no doubt the kindness and sensitivity part of nursing comes naturally to you ☺️
This is my 24th year as a PA-C, and I’m still always learning, growing, figuring out the best ways to mesh complex medical care and very sensitive, patient and family oriented care. I work in pediatrics in a pretty violent and poor neighborhood, so in addition to medical care I often need to help guide parents with many situations in which I don’t have much personal experience (neighborhood violence/ shootings/ poverty/food insecurity, etc)
Years ago this required much more effort than it does now. With time, I’ve gotten so comfortable building rapport with patients and talking about really hard things- both medical and social. The joy I receive from my patients and their families continues to grow exponentially, every year I practice ☺️
@Kim from Philadelphia, I find PAs (and NPs) much more relatable and kind than most doctors. Every patient is more than just a medical diagnosis and I really appreciate the person who can see me that way. It's great that you embrace that aspect of your profession!
I love this attitude; it's what I want to bring to my future nursing practice.
Our electricity was out from lunch time until after supper time. I'd arrived home just in time to get the leftover pork roast heated in the oven and ask my daughter to put some rice in the rice cooker because we had nothing to go with the meat for lunch. Well, the lights flickered, poltergeist-style, for quite a while. Then the power and phones were out. So I learned that the rice will cook a little while longer if you keep the lid on because when I first checked it was still a little crunchy, but 5 minutes later it was fine.
My kids wondered how in the world Laura could study by lamp light in the evenings because it was nearly too dark with 2 lamps for us to see for our sandwich supper.
Because we're in a parsonage, I've always known our house is temporary. But after almost 20 years, I've grown attached to it.
Last random thought-- my mom died 4 years ago, and my younger kids (I'm fairly certain) have few to no real memories of her. But they have been playing nearly non-stop with the Lego train she bought for them since we set it up around the tree. She would have been happy to know that.
I think Chiquita is making it pretty clear in your third photo whose house it is! As the cartoonist Nicole Hollander reminds us, cats are generally thinking, "Everything here is mine" (when they're not thinking, "Hurry with that dinner," that is).
@A. Marie,
Cats aren't the only ones.
Sounds like my dogs!
@Fru-gal Lisa, Pound Hound is so partial to the husband that sometimes I swear he is looking at me speculatively, wondering when I will go away for good and leave the husband all to him. When he is not thinking about food, that is.
My family and I move every few years, and we call it home because that is where we are together. It really feels like home when we hang our art pieces and set up our things. When we travel, we usually rent apartments or houses for a few days, and even those we call home, because it's where we are together. When I was growing up, the building was the home, but as I get older and with all the moving, home is people, my people. And the house is a background that changes.
@Carla, I love your philosophy, and it's one we also share in our family. If we're at a hotel for just a couple of days we call it "home base" and if we're renting a house for a few days we call it home.
I've lived in quite a few places and every one of them I have made to feel like a home, however temporary. And when it was time to leave those places, I did do a walk through of every room and loved every blank space as if I still lived there. And I always say Good-bye and Thank You. Luckily we have plenty of pictures of all of our residences so I can reminisce. And in every place, we have met some of the greatest neighbors a person can have.
Your rental home is lovely. I’m not sure home is just a place. I think it is also a state of mind. You have bloomed where you were planted even though it was in the harshest of environments.
My thoughts are occupied by holiday preparations. My three children and partners will spend the holidays with us. I am worried about feeding everyone. I used to make dinner for 6 every night, but now
I’m a little rusty.
I’m looking forward to seeing everyone. I love my children so very much, but I’m not looking forward to the work.
On occasion, I think about the new year. What do I want to accomplish? What do I want to do? What do I NEED to do? Should I set new goals or will most of mine just roll over from the previous year?Maybe I’ll make a vision board…
Wishing everyone a season of love and peace!
@Bee, I'm afraid my vision board for 2024 will just say "Carry forward list from 2023."
@JDinNM, Mine is, "See that list from 2021? That."
Actually I've accomplished quite a lot this year so I shouldn't do myself down.
@Bee, why not ask your kids & partners to help with the cooking while they are there? Or at least cleanup so you are not doing it all.
I feel guilty that I have no plans to see my mom this week.
I'm happy my son gave me a ladyslipper orchid for Christmas (early). I've been wanting one for years.
I should figure out whether these radiators need bleeding.
I want to go to the movies with Son today but future me will be happier if I tidy instead.
I can't stop humming "Let It Be" which is the song I chose for the outro to BFF's memorial nearly a year ago and it's making me sad and miss her.
My daughter is moving back to the city in a few weeks and I'm already missing her.
I'm annoyed/amused the coonhound ate all the leftover spaghetti carbonara I made for dinner last night.
I'm looking forward to teaching a friend next week how to make lemon meringue pie. I don't know how people screw it up, but there we are. (Other people told her they'd never attempt it. What? It's just pudding, basically.)
These windows are filthy.
I need to put the lights and garland on the dumpster today.
@Rose, There are a lot of steps to lemon meringue pie, though--crust, filling, meringue. Also, meringue takes some practice before you know what it's supposed to look like and when to stop beating the egg whites. I made a lemon meringue pie for the first time for Thanksgiving, and even though I bake a lot, I found it to be kind of irritating. I can see how it would be intimidating for people who aren't used to baking.
@kristin @ going country, Her meringue was fine--it was the lemon pudding that was liquid. I don't really like meringue much--I prefer whipped cream on top. But it will be a fun afternoon! Maybe I'll teach her how to make choux pastry too. (The first thing I ever baked as a kid.)
I HATE HATE HATE making pies. So freaking many steps. I'd rather bake almost any sort of bread.
@Kristen, But then you get....pie! Which is superior to bread or cake.
Daughter and I are making chutney and canning it this afternoon. Sour cherry and raspberry-jalapeno.
Nope. I will take good bread over pie every day, all day. No pie I've had can compare to the best bread I've had! 🙂
You can have alllllll the pies.
@Rose, I had some problems with liquid pudding awhile back, and my mother-in-law told me that if you taste the pudding from a spoon and then put the spoon back in the pudding, the pudding won't thicken. Apparently, there's an enzyme in saliva that breaks down the starches so it doesn't thicken. I taste everything while I'm cooking, but I'm more careful with my pudding now. 🙂
@kristin @ going country, Yeah, amylase. But you shouldn't taste things and put the spoon back in!
I've always heard that if it's something that's boiling, like soup, it's probably fine. The boiling kills any mouth bacteria, and you'd think that would be hot enough to denature enzymes.
Although, hmm, I just googled and it sounds like amylase denatures at 106 C (222 F). That's hotter than boiling!
@Rose, Maybe not, but I do it all the time when I'm cooking with things that are simmering, boiling, baking, or frying. As Kristen said, I figure the heat takes care of any bacteria.
@Kristen, you haven't had one of MY pies! Or my mom's, who is the best baker of all time, of whom I am a pale shadow.
I try to teach people The Correct Way (aka Mom's Way) and sometimes they have the nerve to use Jonagolds for apple pie. Um.....did I stutter about Rhode Island Greenings? The nerve! The cheek! The AUDACITY.
@Rose, The first time I made choux pastry I was convinced the size of the puff when you put it in the oven waw a misprint---surely you need to plop down at least a cup of choux, as if you were filling a muffin tin. As you can well imagine, the puffs got so huge that they hit the oven rack above them. Not my finest baking hour.
@Rose,
I had never heard of choux pastry, until I started watching the Great British Baking Show. Lol. I love to bake, but I guess it's mostly cookies, cakes, and pie.
@Rose,
What apples should one use if Rhode Island Greenings aren't an option? Should you just skip it, and make a different kind of pie? Asking for a friend. 🙂
@Liz B., NO PIE FOR YOU. Also probably Granny Smith.
@Rose, honest to his- you are a hoot!!!
@Diane, I posted honest to God, but maybe my autocorrect was less jarring
@Rose,
Lol! Pie Nazi! (Seinfekd reference) 🙂
@Liz B.,
*Seinfeld* (sigh)
Yes, whether we realize it or not, accept it or not, where we live can be very temporary.
But that is no excuse to NOT make anywhere you reside a HOME versus a house or apt or condo or coop.
One doesn't have to invest a lot in renovations, etc to find a way to say: Yes, OK. This is where I am right now and I will make it as comfy/homey as possible.
FYI: The two rooms you showed look great. Your bedroom looks as if it was in a decorating magazine. Beautiful furniture, space.
Several years ago I spent two months in a PT rehab center for an injury. People laughed when I did as much as I could to make it seem less institutional and more livable. (I was in a wheelchair and I was spending a lot of time in that room and in that bed due to lack of leg mobility.)
I'm not a fan of institutional smells so in addition to my ever-handy Lysol spray (my friend since college when my roommate was constantly sick and I was working two jobs and literally could not afford to be ill. Long before the pandemic, I was a spraying!), I brought in one of my room sprays.
I got two pillows from home and my own pillowcases (those things they call pillows are not comfortable). I had my tablet and computer (I was still working part time.) and as strange as that may seem, these provided more entertainment than the TV sets with limited channels and too loud playing) and my noise cancelling headsets (a must, people yelling all day and night long!). I could read, get news, email and more.
I ordered Kleenex and paper towels and some snacks and non-refrigerated foods (because food is delivered on their schedule, not yours and often inedible so you fill in with snacks of a healthy kind). No fridge, no microwave in rooms (Fire hazards) Main fridge and microwaves unclean and also food not safe from folks just taking for themselves.)
These may not sound like ways to make something home but it's an example of how you can make even two months better in an institution. I do the same with modifications for my multiple hospital stays over the year (The most challenging to offset both the illness and the environment that is anything but healing.)
It is good to know that your program has hands-on time. Some men and women studying to be nurses learn that they are simply not cut out for physically handling patients. This is a good way for people to find out and then, hopefully, leave programs. There are still nurses out there where it is very clear that they do NOT want to do a lot of the very physical work that they must do if there are no CAs or aides around to do.
Plus, if people have no real empathy for patients (sadly, many do not. Nursing is a career for making a living, for some. NOT in providing needed aid or a calling. It's the same with doctors. Good with the clinical stuff, not so much with people.) I wish they would then find roles where patient interface and interaction are minimal.
There are many patient centric, patient empathetic men and women out there who make a huge difference in our care. They can help us literally survive hospital stays, ER visits. tests and procedures. When I look back at my health issues, it is always nurses I recall, thankfully, with mostly happy memories.
I was wondering about something. And if it is too personal to answer, please excuse me for asking.
Do you think that being on your own (well, not entirely) without a bigger household and a husband, is it easier to focus on your studies? Even in loving family situations, there are a lot of distractions (I have several friends who are nurses with young or teen children, husbands, parents, etc. that they have to look after. They told me they are lucky to have energy for work let alone to be back studying for their degrees.)
I'm thinking you must have more time to yourself with no concerns 24/7 about a household (you eat when, how you want; live on your timeline). And that while the demands of your curriculum are many, that you are better able to manage given that you have more total control over your life (kids are not being homeschooled, you're not taking them here/there for stuff, etc).
To your question: I definitely think that having young children and trying to do school is tough. That's why I just did my prereqs while I finished up homeschooling my kids. I wanted to wait until they all graduated, had jobs, and were driving before I tried to do nursing school.
As far as a spouse goes: I think that if you have a supportive, helpful spouse who is willing to put at least 50/50 effort into managing household stuff, then that can be better than being single. But if you have a spouse who does not want you to go to school and is not willing to be supportive both practically and emotionally (or is outright discouraging and critical), then being single is most certainly easier.
I see examples of both these types of relationships in my classmates, and the ones where people have kind, supportive partners make me smile. My one lab mate has a boyfriend who is supporting her during nursing school so she doesn't have to work, and he does things like waking her up for clinicals with fresh coffee. Her school life would definitely be harder without him!
So: young kids? Harder 100% of the time. A spouse/partner? I think it depends 100% on the type of spouse/partner you have.
Re most of us will not take our last breath in our forever homes:
Friend: How is your mom?
Me: She's still with us.
Friend: Your mom is visiting or you moved her home? That is fantastic.
Me: No, I mean she's still alive.
I thought, "She's only leaving that nursing home feet first" but didn't say so.
@Rose, I hear you on the exchange with your friend. I didn't have any who were *quite* that clueless about DH, but I had a few that were close enough.
And a comment to the general FG community about knowing that no home is forever: I'm still hunkered down in the home that DH and I thought we'd grow old together in, only we didn't. And my knees and hips are starting to tell me that I will probably need to start thinking about alternative housing in the not too distant future. But, dammit, I don't just have a house here, I have a community--as my regular comments about my neighbors indicate. This is gonna be tough.
@A. Marie, Would it be possible just to live on the first floor? I'm considering that in my future.
For whatever reason--maybe because Mom would have laughed years ago at the feet first comment--I tend to feel much much worse about a thought I had when I brought my beloved red beagle Alfie to the vet because he was getting too thin. The vet looked at him, sighed, and said that Alfie had hours to live and it would be kinder to end his life right then. My daughter was with me in the animal hospital, she came into the room to see when we were going home, and saw me crying. I told her what was up and asked if she'd like to be there when it happened. She cried and ran away. Alfie, who was on the floor of the room then, angrily pawed at the door to get out. I thought to myself, "You're not leaving this room," and every time I think about it I want to cry. I loved that dog--he was one of a kind.
Also--I thought I would grow old with my husband in this house. Didn't happen. BFF and I joked often about being mean old ladies making nasty remarks while rocking on the front porch. Didn't happen.
When I was young, it didn't occur to me how much heartbreak and misery most people have to go through.
@Rose, after my parents built their home in 1971, my dad said, "I'm not leaving this house until I go feet first". When he died in 2000, as the funeral home was taking his body away, I said, "WAIT! Make sure his feet go out the door first!"
Dad would have loved that little final request. 😎
@A. Marie, I live in an area where there are no affordable downsizing options for seniors. So when the time comes to leave our home, we will have to leave community. I feel your pain.
I completely agree with you about houses being temporary. (Home, for me, is a different concept; I can feel at home with my people wherever I am!) We tried buying houses and acting like we were going to stay there for a long time, but it seemed every time circumstances would make it clear we were not meant to be there. Now we rent and ironically have more peace of mind: should the neighborhood go downhill, as can happen, or we get bad neighbors moving in, or jobs change, we know it's a lot easier to move than if we owned a home! Yes, there's the uncertainty of the landlord wanting to keep renting it out, but honestly, there is always going to be uncertainty in life, so it's best to just be ready to adapt!
@Karen A.,
Being able to move on a moment's notice is not something I've thought about much, until recently. I was called up for possible jury duty for a felony case. A veteran law enforcement officer, years ago, told us that it can be dangerous to serve on a jury like that. Because the guy on trial just may be guilty (and may be a violent criminal) and those guys often have friends on the "outside" who can carry out revenge on you. (Jurors' names and addresses are public record in my state. Anyone can find out.) I own my house and was thinking, "If I get on the jury panel and have to find him guilty, what's going to happen? I'm a sitting duck!" You can't just up and move when you own your home. Luckily, they didn't choose me. Whew!
Oh, and the judge later sent me a letter saying thank you and they found him guilty and sentenced him to 99 years.
@Fru-gal Lisa, That really only happens in the movies. Signed, daughter and granddaughter of NYPD officers (who's also served on several juries including a depressing child sex abuse case, sigh).
@Fru-gal Lisa, For various reasons, we use a PO Box rather than our physical address for most purposes, and don't give out our physical address either. Voter's names and addresses can often be found, depending on the state, as a matter of public record as well, so it's not just jurors.
Good for you being willing to serve, though! I've been called up for jury duty a couple of times but never had to serve, the cases being settled out of court or plea-bargained down.
@Rose, I don't agree that it happens only in the movies. I was set to testify on a case, so was on the witness list provided to everyone. I was contacted by someone who was a friend of the guy on trial. He told me that they knew my husband's name (his is different from mine) and that it would be easy for my husband to have a car "accident." The guy ended up with a plea deal, so no trial, but in the weeks between the call and the deal I was a basket case.
Oh my goodness, that's so scary!
I was sitting in my quiet and clean and comfortable front room last night, admiring the tree and sipping and adult bevvie and I thought the SAME THING about it being temporary for me, even though it is mine. Its likely not the house I will retire in, as it is too big for one little ole me, but while I am here I am so thankful for it. Yes, it represents my time with my kids and husband and yes, I need to move on from that and forge a new life.
Don't you find a sense of control in getting your house clean and in order? It always makes me feel more settled, too. You will be on the right foot to start the new semester!
The three nurses in my family salute you, Kristen. They welcome people like Kristen who want to help and to learn.
Home is where the heart is, they say. I've lived in two homes that later burned down, so I have learned not to get too attached to the house itself! It's the home you make of it, the people (if any) who live there with you, the pets, the neighbors, the events that happen while living there, that create home to me.
And (again) I'm going to suggest checking out the Flylady for keeping house when life gets hectic. When DH was still home and we had senior services coming to the house 5-6 hours a week to help us, one of the volunteers said "your house is already immaculate; I don't have any housework to do." Immaculate? No, but I was able to keep the house in good shape in a lot less time than it took before I started using Flylady's method.
(I have no affiliation with Flylady, I just use the method)
I've heard of Flylady but I don't know if I've actually read her stuff. Any specific recommendations for me? A book? Just the site?
@Kristen,
She has a website, http://www.flylady.net and at least two books. It's free to go to her website and read the steps and suggestions, as well as her story. Her actual name is Marla Cilley and the books I know are "Sink Reflections" and "CHAOS to Clean." Both have basically the same information that's available on her site. I adapted her zones and tips to my house (I don't have a dining room, for instance, but I do have a large front porch). She lists tasks to do in each zone, which I also adapted to my house. One of the hardest things for me to learn was to stop obsessing over cleaning everything in one go. I set a timer and make myself stop.
Also, I had to fight the feeling that one can't start her method unless the entire house is clean, first. No, she says just jump in where you are now, no matter how messy the house is.
I now have extra time on weekends to do projects, declutter and reorganize, whereas in the past, my entire Saturday was only cleaning.
@Kristen, if a full inbox bothers you, be very careful if you sign up for any of the newsletters from Flylady. Some of the information is helpful, but there were multiple emails a day, which I found overwhelming. The site is a little too much for my tastes. Apparently, that's not an unusual opinion; there are lots of sites/YouTube channels that basically break down and simplify the Flylady's information.
@Danielle L Zecher,
Yes, I should have mentioned don't sign up for the emails. There are definitely too many. I'm glad you thought of it.
@JD, thank you for that referral. Flylady looks interesting!
@Danielle L Zecher,
I found the FlyLady's ideas interesting, but not really geared to someone who works outside the home 40+ hours/week. By the time I leave work, run any errands that need to be done, cook dinner, and clean up, I'm done in for the day. Maybe it's just me. I'm glad she's helped others.
@Liz B., yeah, it's definitely more a case of applying the ideas. I can't follow her method exactly either, especially when there are work deadlines to meet.
It's a mindest.
I was just talking to a man (helped me load water softener salt into my truck) yesterday at Sams Club that is a homeowner & landlord. He just purchased 900 square feet (fake) wood flooring ($2000) to put into a rental. He wants (his rental) house to be a good place for people to live & in making it nice hopes that people will take good care of it. Though not always that case with renters.
I remember when I rented that I took good care of house (best of my abilities) because I wanted it to be nice for us to live in. I always left each (rental & owned) house better than it was when I first moved in.
As a homeowner I always knew that this would not be mine (because I wouldn't be here & I don't plan on living forever) in the future but always made repairs & decisions based on what was best for the house (in the future)--do best as I can afford. I remember when had to replace water tank in house & contractor said had smaller or larger size only. I got biggest could knowing that in future another bigger (sized) family may live here & would be better to have larger instead of small. Did same thing with water softener. Sometimes it may seem like over kill but better than not enough in my opinion.
It's just easier owning house that way you can make (more) decisions without thought of can I do this without fear of possible conflict over decision/choice.
You can tell when people take pride in what they do--in any/all areas if their life. It shows in the work that they do & the outcome.
I had to sit and count, but I think the house we bought last February is my 19th home...so definitely they are temporary ha! We lived in one house twice (years apart) when I was a kid, and we lived on one street in three different houses. My dad was a pastor so one of those was the parsonage. He also built houses back in the day with my brother in the evenings so we would move into those and about a year later he would sell them....then we would rent and the cycle continued. He built the house my parents live in now at the age of 70...though he contracts out the roofing and foundations now. My brother still builds also.
Some of the houses we have had since I've been an adult I didn't like at all (military base housing), some was different (old brewery in Belgium we lived in), and some was a dream (our last house on an acre with a small apartment over the garage).
But each house has held my loved ones and kept up warm, covered from the storms, and a safe place to live. I also try to embrace them all and even the ones I didn't love hold the best memories (base housing is where I lived right next door to many friends that became family).
I don't enjoy moving, but I always enjoy the freshness of a new place and a new house with new experiences. We definitely plan to move again...we've already started looking 🙂
Whoa, 19!! That's wild!
I think you have all the background, life experience and desire to be an incredible nurse, the medical skills AND the person skills . I also did a community college program and they got us into clinicals early on, and a LOT..and that made us really good nurses, IMHO. This next semester will be ever more exciting for you!!
Your HOME is so serene and pretty.I can see why you love it.I have moved more than I have liked, in my lifetime, and miss some of the places I used to live, but I find that each turn in the wheel of life brings new ideas,new opportunities, and sometimes new surroundings..there is good in all of it..and staying open to what goodness might be in store AFTER this time of your life, can help you feel better.. your next home will have even MORE to love,I am sure.
But for now, “MINDFULNESS” practice reminds us to love where we are.. that lovely serene home of yours right now is perfect! And… I will NEVER FORGET the excitement of my nursing school years.. so,savor this time!!!!
Thanks for taking time to share your journeys//this community here is so kind and loving,I look forward to my morning blog time with you /and your readers each day!!
I'm right there with you on winter break! I'm prepping classes for spring semester, but also making sure that all of my department stuff is going smoothly. It's a LOT of following up on emails, replying to emails I forgot about, admitting some late applying grad students, checking on missing grades, and planning my department's spring semester kickoff meeting.
I've been the only one in the office this week and it has been a DELIGHT. Maybe I took a quick nap in the sunny spot on my floor.
My brother is coming to visit the day after Christmas, so I've also been doing the catch-up cleaning after a tough semester. The tough semester is is coming at the end of a long depressive episode, exacerbated by a ridiculously long ADHD medication shortage.
Yesterday, my assistant helped me sort through a deep cleaning checklist to identify my true priorities. One of my most ADHD traits is that it takes an extraordinary amount of attentional resources for me to identify which activities take priority over others*. I've learned a lot of tricks and tips over the years that have helped me be relatively successful in my profession, but man, when I'm exhausted I just cannot see where to start with a long to-do list.
*For some reason, this reminds me a bit of how you perceive time, Kristen (you've mentioned that you visualize the day moving from bottom to top). If I have a bunch of tasks in my head, I visualize them as being laid out on a flat surface with no inherent order. Of course, I know intellectually that there some tasks should come before others and that it is usually more efficient to complete one task instead of bouncing around between multiple tasks. In the moment, though, forget about it. You'll find me wandering around with random stuff in my pockets (to keep my hands free, of course), trying to figure out what I'm supposed to be doing.
@profesorahb, my son's ADHD is much the same. He can waste a lot of time and resources (energy) just trying to figure out what is important and where to start....and doing a lot of stuff that doesn't matter at all. I finally sat down with him and made a daily list of essentials. A list that at the bare minimum if he did those things at least his house wouldn't take over during the week and become completely overwhelming by the weekend. So far it has helped, but he struggles greatly with it. I keep begging him to see a doctor and get on medication, but so far he hasn't done that (he was on meds when he was in high school).
Random thoughts:
1) I have to go to NYC for work, and need to get that booked today. Booking travel is both fun & irritating. It's never in the cost I need (strict work budget) & requires a bunch of futzing around to get it right.
2) I'm so, so happy finals are done tomorrow for my teens. Yesterday, DS16 had two finals, came home & quickly changed, had two hours of soccer practice in the pouring rain, changed again & went to a study group, got home at 9 and jumped on a tutoring call. After that, he was up studying until at least midnight.
3) My teens have Christmas themed track suits, & I was looking to pack them for our trip to Portland on Friday. DS16 had worn his to school, which really made me laugh. I love that he's so comfortable with himself & confident that he likes to dress up & make other people laugh.
4) Our refrigerator is looking remarkably clean, pre trip. This makes me very, very happy.
5) I love the low lights from the Christmas tree & (fake) mantle candles in the morning.
Enjoy your time off!
@Hawaii Planner, I like your #3. As you said, it shows a comfortableness and confidence not everyone has, especially in the teen years.
I grew up in a military family so our housing was always temporary but it was always HOME. I understand the idea of a forever home, but I also understand making sure that your housing fits your needs. The house we are living in is lovely, but it’s not fitting our needs as a family (something that really came to light during the pandemic).
We’re taking a break from open houses for the holidays so put up some Christmas decorations. It wasn’t feeling very Christmas-y which was really tough. I put up a small tree and a few of my favorite decorations, had two nights of Christmas movies, baked a few holiday treats, and we are all finally getting into the holiday spirit.
I really value medical staff that are great with soft skills. I’m doing all the preventative appointments this month and going back for follow up appointments can be nerve wracking. Those soft skills really help – thank you for being that person!
Grateful to you @Kristen for the chance to empty my brain of some randomness.
Christmas is upon us and the to do list I thought would be tied up by now is nowhere near done. Shopping is done minus a few gift cards I will pick up today. Cleaning, laundry, baking and prepping for Christmas Eve & Day food is not. I am trying not to stress but I am not having great success with that.
I have been awake and out of bed since 2 AM. See what I mean? Stress over the above unfinished stuff is running my life right now. Ugh.
For those of you that like Bailey's Irish Cream in your coffee for a holiday treat, check out the recipe on the Smitten Kitchen website. It takes 5 minutes to make and 3 ingredients and oh my goodness it is good.
Grateful for my vet after my dog decided to eat a bottle of sleeping pills earlier this week. She somehow managed to get them off of our bathroom vanity where they were tucked in the back corner. Chaos ensued of course and I had to rush her to the vet. I am so thankful for his care for her and that she is fine. There is a sting in my bank account but I wouldn't trade her for all the money in the world.
@Angie, 2 a.m. is rough. I've woken up at 3 a.m. for the past two mornings and am not able to get back to sleep because of all the to-do lists and scheduling that start running in my brain. This does not actually help me be more productive, and I wish it didn't happen.
Our sunroom (which is mostly the kids' toy room) turned into an overwhelming disaster earlier in the fall and this past Saturday was our first Saturday without sports since August and I didn't have any prep work since I'm on break, so we got to tackle that and it felt SO GOOD. There's plenty of room to spare now and the floor is completely clean. Ahhhhhh. My older kids started Christmas break at 11:30 today, so I get to be home for the rest of the day. The basement is next on my list! Followed by the bathroom storage closet tomorrow.
I chuckled about your patient's comment about working with a student nurse. We usually see a CPNP at the pediatrician's office, but when we see the doctor he almost always has a student with him. I've had to learn how to handle this as a mom - now I know not to panic when he asks questions to the students and that I don't need to wonder, "Is something seriously wrong with my child?!!" because I know that he's just testing them and wanting them to think through why it is or isn't something. But, boy, that was sure a learning process for me as the parent!
Enjoy your break and studying at a more leisurely pace!
I have lived in my "rental" for more than thirty years. I am very blessed in that my best friends bought the "house next door" to save their neighborhood and my friend and his dad remodeled it, gutting most of this cottage and tightening it up. With me as their tenant in mind. Of course they moved across town soon after I moved in and then across the country, but I send them a pittance (comparatively) of a rental check monthly. Because of that, I pay for any repairs, appliances, etc. and am able to plant stuff as if I'll live here forever. There are some issues, but there are few old houses that have none.
2) When I stay in a motel, I try to get a room with fridge and microwave. I also take my portable electric teakettle (those little coffee things aren't suited to make good tea) and a little table cloth, tea accoutrements to make it more home like.
3) As for nursing style...I have a no nonsense approach to those "under" me. If you do your job, we'll be fine. If you are disrespectful, and take lightly my authority and responsibility, we will not be fine. My license is on the line if you do not do your job well especially when I have provided guidance, instruction, encouragement. My motto is "if you don't do it right the first time, when are you going to have time to do it over?" That includes completing a job. It only takes a few minutes more to leave the small space that is available to residents/patients neat and tidy. There are still some people who need to have their personal space in order/without chaos and it affects their well-being in general. With respect to residents/patients I will admit that personality type has more affect on me than I would like. I love 98% of my patients. The 2% with the "entitled" streak are my greatest challenge. Some days I get it right, and there are some days that I wish for do-overs. I am thankful when I have an opportunity to make amends and can move forward.
Please don't feel bad about someone not wanting a student to be part of their care. I always say no to students, and I'm sure some of them are lovely people who will be great at what they do. But, I have PTSD related to medical trauma, so even seeking necessary medical care is VERY hard for me, let alone having something done twice, taking longer, etc., because more people are involved. Also, the more people are in a room in a medical setting, the more I feel outnumbered, which is very triggering for me and can send me into a full-blown hyperventilating panic attack. It's just not good for me to say yes to students. My husband, on the other hand, takes a "the more the merrier approach" to having students involved in his care. We like to think we balance each other out. Hopefully, next semester, you'll encounter more people like my husband. 🙂
Oh yes, I was not offended in the slightest! I know that I am just a bumbling beginner, and I never mind if someone's not up for having me practice on them. Medical students aren't for everyone!
But when someone does say yes, I am sure to express my gratitude multiple times.
@Anonymous, I hope people are understanding. When I was in the hospital in January, I was creeped out by one male nurse, and when he was told to bring me a bedpan and then wipe me up after (good times!), I was yelled at by the head nurse about being sexist*. It wasn't because he was a male, but because he was creepy.
*Don't worry, I screamed back! Then I called the CMO of the hospital and complained about the head nurse. I told them I was 57 years old and I was sick of being asked if I'd gone "number one or two." I said I was toilet trained back in the 60s, and I don't really need a sticker when I tinkle in the potty.
@Anonymous, I was in a hospital in Seattle where a doctor told me the docs did not like dealing with Alaskan patients because we always complain about the weather, how many people there are, how many buildings there are, and how noisy everything is. He also said most people "put up with" having students be in the room but the Alaskans had no problem saying no. I am one of those no people, not just no, but hell no.
Coming from a pharmacist just a bit of wisdom most pharmacies do not accept discount cards on opioids especially level 2 control substances.
Oh, interesting! I wonder why GoodRX even has them then...just for the select few pharmacies that do accept them?
I want you caring for me if I'm ever in the hospital!
I've had good & bad experiences with students in the medical field...stop reading if you don't like medical stories......
I had a spot froze off my face. I'd never seen this dr before & she came in with a group of students. She talked to the students, not to me. I'd had this done before or I would have been much more upset when she whipped out the spray, took it off & left without even a look at me. Telling a student to put a bandaide on it. Then, the student put the sticky part on the wound & the blood ran down my face as she left! I had to ASK them to do something about it.....
But then when I gave birth I also had a student observing a live birth. I don't know if it was his first observation but by the end he had his face in the corner of the room as he moaned. In his defense, it was a rough birth...4 hrs in the birth canal, trying every position they suggest & at one point the nurse on pushing down on my belly because I could do nothing but lay there....we ended up doing an emergency C-section. That poor student. I've out most of that horrific experience. When they wheeled me in to prep for surgery, the people thought he was the dad because he looked so green. That was a very long time ago. That boy is now 30 & a dad. We somehow made it in spite of it all.
I too have spent the last few days doing catch up with my house. I can feel myself calming down the cleaner it gets.
@Jenny Young,
I also have had a similar experience with someone paying more attention to the student than to the actual patient, but that is more the fault of the careless doctor, I think. Poor student!! What a difficult thing to go through.
Both of my brilliant parents spent their last years in care facilities with dementia (Alzheimer’s for one and vascular dementia for the other, not at the same time). I was so grateful to the good nurses who treated them with respect while doing such a difficult job.
And just in case anybody reading this is feeling judgy about people whose parents end up in care facilities, at least one of us went over every day, and both of my parents had physical needs that went way beyond the ability of any family member to care for them.
@Meg in SoTX, no one should ever judge you for making the decision that your parents would get the best care in a facility. Alzheimer's is just a cruel, cruel disease, and everyone has to make the best/safest choices they can in a truly terrible situation. People forget that family caregivers are providing care on top of life, work, home maintenance, etc., and that it's 24/7. Facilities have entire teams of people and shifts. Those people do a hard job, but they also go home at the end of the day. For family caregivers, that is home. No one should be judgy that people can't go 24/7 indefinitely.
So, so true! Sometimes patients like these are a challenge even for skilled caregivers in facilities. No judgment at all.
@Meg in SoTX, my DH was in a nursing home for the last two years of his life, because his disabilities from Alzheimer's made it impossible for me to continue caring for him in our home. No judgment here--and none, I hope, from anyone else.
@Meg in SoTX,
My mother-in-law, who was more like a mother to me, was in a long term care facility for the past year of her life (she had vascular dementia). A family member was with her at least part of every single day. She had medical needs far beyond what we could provide for her. I empathize with anyone who has been in your shoes.
@Liz B., thanks to you, and to Kristen and the other kind commenters! It is extremely comforting when people understand the nature of such circumstances.
@Meg in SoTX, no judgment here. I am one of three kids and our parents didn't want us visiting them daily, so we didn't (and it's not because they didn't like us). Also, my parents made it clear to us very early on - I think we were all in our 20s - that they did not expect or want one of us to take them in when they got older. My dad would also say, "don't bother visiting my grave, I won't be there."
Some years ago, I read a quotation that I cannot recall precisely and have not seen or found again. I would appreciate group assistance?
In every Christmas tree is the reflection (shadow, echo, ghost, memory ?) of every other one you have ever seen (known).
Random Random Random
1. Saw a dead buck on this morning's walk. A neighbor said he'd call the sheriff since it was at a currently unoccupied vacation rental.
2. I didn't know that gabapentin and neurontin were the same thing. (have heard people talk about both—for nerve pain, I think).
3. Every year when I order a calendar to sell with my art or photos, I wonder if I will be stuck with a pile of unsolds. Today I sold the last ones! (unless the local museum still has a little pile)
4. I am dreading a phone call with Apple to see if someone there can help me understand why subscribers to my blog who use Apple devices with the Apple mail app cannot see the photos that come in the email version of the post. I have spent HOURS on this. People don't want to bother tapping on the title in the post to go to the website and read it there. (energetic crowd that follows me. . . not!)
5. I love my house. Feet first sounds good to me in terms of ever leaving.
6. Kristen, when you are unmarried and settled with a salary (and don't have to share income from the blog), maybe then you can buy the rental that is currently your home.
Kristen, I know how you feel about your Google search questions....as a hospital dietitian, I sometimes have odd questions like "how much sodium is in Chicken Parm from [name of chain Italian restaurant]?" in mine. (Turns out, quite a lot). Then the next question might be about a '70s rock band, or a search for a recipe using up an ingredient I have lingering. 🙂
Today is my birthday, and I am now officially 62. I'm at about 5.5 weeks post op from my right total knee replacement surgery, and if you had told me when I was in my 50's that I'd be in this place right now, I would have said "no way". Ha. Well, yes way, as it turns out. I finally feel good enough to start doing some tiny decluttering chores at home. While this birthday is quiet, my hubby is out picking up yummy Indian food for dinner. Best. Birthday. Present. Ever.
@Liz B., Enjoy the Best Birthday Present Ever!
Also, I hope your knee replacement put you in a good place. Mine did.
@Heidi Louise,
Thank you! Hubby just got home - it smells incredible. And good to know about your knee replacement....I an looking forward to moving without pain!
A good resource for affordable medications is Mark Cuban's Cost Plus Pharmacy. I'm sure I learned of it from one of my frugal online spots, because apparently he is a billionaire who was on Shark Tank, but I don't watch TV and had never heard of him before. Anyway, I was taking a medication that cost me about $50 for a 3 month supply from my employer-sponsored prescription plan. This year I shifted to Medicare, and the medication was going to cost me $520 for a 3-month supply! Luckily I learned about Cost Plus, and it is only costing me $95 for a 3-month supply. They only carry a limited array of medications, but if they have your drug, it can be a huge savings.
Hi Kristen,
It's been a long and difficult day, so I don't have any deep thoughts for you, random or otherwise, but I just wanted to comment that I think the rooms of your rental house look so pretty and cosy. Maybe it's just your mad photography skills at work, but you are definitely still putting beauty out into the world even if the beauty feels ephemeral. There. Bam. I got deep after all. 😉
Not sure if anyons mentioned this but in regards to the gabapentin side efffects.
1. It can cause very vivid nightmares like almost night terror levels
2. While it can help some bipolar patients it can also cause severe anxiety attacks. My ex quack of a shrink put me on it and kept upping my dosage when I mentioned anxiety issues. I was close to commiting myself bc of it. Couldn't take it for nerve pain after an ankle fusion bc of the anxiety issues.
This is a side effect not usually talked about.
Good luck on your next semester!
That is such a good point about all houses being temporary in a way. Before I bought my current house, I rented for three years. I never got around to buying a sofa or dresser as I never allowed myself to think of the house as my real home. Looking back, it makes me sad. (I gave away many large furniture items before the move as I planned to buy used items...less expensive than moving large heavy things)
If the topic of helping parents afford medications comes up again (or for when you inevitably come across that in your real world nursing) manufacturers have discount programs (and even give free drug) when patients can’t pay for their meds. They do have to apply for it and have a valid reason they can’t pay for their drug, but we get meds covered for patients all the time! I’m an oncology nurse and I have learned to always ask my patients about their finances regarding treatment and at home meds because there are so many assistance programs out there.
That should say helping patients, not parents.
I love your house so much! You've made it so homey in such a short time and on a tight budget! You are so very talented in so many ways! We've lived in ours almost 12 years and sometimes it still doesn't feel homey enough! Or maybe I should turn off hgtv once in a while and enjoy my surroundings. New goal for 2024!
Thank you! I love it too. Maybe it's helped me to know that I will be here for a (relatively) short time; perhaps it lit a fire under me to settle in!
Your blog is such a happy place!! I am so proud of you..I have been blessed to learn from you for 13 years this month!!:)
Keep shining!!