Productivity, Frugal Girl Style | Don't waste your leisure time
(for those of you that are new: this is a continuation of a series we started back in November. It kind of got derailed over the holidays, so we're finishing it up now. If you're interested in catching up, you can read the earlier posts, which are Get Thee to Bed!, Plan Ahead, 3 Ways to be Efficient, and Cut Schedule Clutter.)
I know that sounds like a weird thing to say, but I firmly believe that there is a vast difference between true leisure and wasting time.
For instance, aimlessly surfing around the TV channels would qualify for wasting time in my book, whereas sitting down with my kids to watch a particular show or program together would not.
Surfing around the internet reading whatever happens to catch my eye is wasting time. Sitting down at my computer and writing emails or reading worthwhile blogs is not.
Reading gossip magazines and most women's magazines is, in my book, a waste of time. Reading well-written books, though? I don't count that as wasting time.
How do I determine what is a waste of leisure time and what is not?
Activities that are not in line with my ideas and beliefs and goals are a waste of time for me.
Because everyone's ideas and goals are different, the way this plays out in my life is different than the way this would play out in yours, but here are two examples of how this works in my day-to-day life.
I want to spend my days and hours in a way that glorifies God. Among other things, this means that I want to grow in my walk with Him, and that I want to serve my family.
Because of that:
I hardly ever watch TV.
The reasons for this are many...much of what is available is not remotely helpful in my walk with God (quite the opposite, in fact), exposing myself to constant commercials isn't good for me, and a lot of the fare that's offered inspires discontent (Your house should be better! You should cook more fabulous meals! You should be more stylish! You should get plastic surgery!). And reality TV programs only serve to make me feel superior ("At least I didn't have to wonder which of these 5 men was the father of my baby." "I'm not as dumb/ugly/low-class/fat/lazy/spendy as those people.").
Suffice it to say, most TV programming doesn't fit in with my ideas, beliefs, and goals, and so for the most part, I'd count TV watching as a waste of my leisure time.
On the other hand, when Mr. FG and Joshua sit down to watch a hockey game together, I don't think that's a waste of time. They're sharing an experience, rooting for a team together, enjoying each other's company, and they don't even have to watch commercials since they watch the games on a streaming service.
(as an aside, I firmly believe that one of the reasons I have time to read, exercise, bake, sew, blog, and do all the things I do is that I don't watch TV. TV can be an enormous time suck and waste of time, so if you're lacking time to do all the stuff you say you want to do, take a hard look at how much TV you watch.)
I try to read, and I try to read good stuff.
In my mind, reading good stuff definitely qualifies as an appropriate and helpful use of leisure time. I'm sure you know all the benefits of reading, so I won't trot them out here.
But, some reading is a waste of time for me. Blogs, books, and magazines that keep me from growing in my walk with God, that encourage me to be selfish, that tempt me to discontent, or that glorify things that shouldn't be glorified are a waste of time.
So, I try to read well-written material that encourages me in my mothering and wifing, that encourages me to grow spiritually, that help me appreciate the gospel more, that help me to serve my family better, and so on.
Romance novels? Nope. Jane Austen
? Yes.
Women's magazines (with their promise that I can be thin, gorgeous, stylish, rich, confident, mother-of-the-year, crafty, and have fabulous hair and a clutter-free, beautifully decorated, spacious home)? Nope. Cook's Illustrated (which helps me serve my family and shop smarter)? Yes.
Gossip blogs? Nope. Blogs that inspire me to better and greater things? Yes.
I try to engage in activities that are not isolating.
I so understand the pull to hide or to not engage. I'm very capable of being social, yes, but I can also be very, very happy by myself for hours on end.
This is not entirely bad or wrong, but sometimes, this temptation comes from my selfish desires (I want to do what *I* want to do!) or my laziness (dealing with people is work!).
And, at least theoretically, one of my goals in life is to serve my family. Some alone time helps me to do that well (yay for my quiet mornings and for gym workouts!), but too much alone time doesn't. Spending all my leisure time by myself is a waste because it doesn't help me accomplish the goals I have for my life.
So, to that end, Mr. FG and I read through books together. We sing together as a family. We read the Bible and other books with the kids (recently, we read Dangerous Journey
, The Prince's Poison Cup
, and The King Without a Shadow
and are now reading an Alistair McGrath children's book on the Kindle, called The Chosen Ones .). We pray together. We play Scrabble (and CandyLand) together. When the weather is warmer, we bike/walk/rollerblade together and play catch.
And you know what? Every time I resist that urge to withdraw and do something by myself, I inevitably end up being happy that I did. Engaging takes more effort (plopping down in front of the computer is way easier than going outside to play catch!), but it's very rewarding.
I'm not saying that I never do leisure activities on my own...I like to scrapbook (this does serve my family because my kids love to look through our scrapbooks), I like to sew (again, my sewing projects do usually serve my family, but sewing is something I do on my own), and I like to read. None of those activities are a waste of time in my mind, but I want to be careful not to spend all of my leisure time doing activities all by myself.
Be Intentional About Leisure
I touched on this a bit in an earlier paragraph, but wanted to say a bit more about it. If I am not intentional about how I spend my free time, I find myself wasting it. When I am not purposeful about how I spend my time, I often end up isolating myself.
That's because wasting time is easy...if we don't think much about it, that will probably be the default mode we slide into. So, if you want to redeem your leisure time and make it line up with your stated goals and beliefs, you'll need to be a little more alert. Don't just slide into the couch in front of the TV every night or mindlessly hop onto the internet. Instead, when you've got some leisure time in front of you, think about what you're hoping to accomplish with your life, and find a leisure activity that's in line with that goal and purpose.
Note: Some of the ideas in this post are gleaned from Jeff Purswell's message on leisure from the Sanctifying the Ordinary series. All 4 messages in this series are available for free, and I highly recommend them. The audio on the leisure message is funky, but I think the content is so good, it's worth persevering through the sound issues (try turning down your treble settings to make the annoying sound less noticeable).
I think that's all I have to say about productivity for the time being, so this post officially concludes the series. I imagine that more productivity thoughts will occur to me over time, though, so occasional productivity posts may pop up here and there.
I hope this series has been helpful to you, and I hope that you're able to take the principles contained in these posts and apply them to your own life.
Today's 365 post: Play-Doh and Pennies
Joshua's 365 post: Coloring
Thank you, Kristin, for being just who God made you to be. This series, as well as your blog in general has greatly blessed my life.
I, too, enjoy activities that further my walk with God. I consider the time reading what you have to say as time well spent!
All of your posts in this series have been worthwhile, but I think today's post speaks to me the most. It pushes the envelope more than the other posts. Thank you for this thought-provoking post.
I also have four children and a lot of people/friends don't understand why I spend so much time with my family. They're always telling me I need some "me" time. It's nice to hear another mother say that she is content with serving her family and the Lord. I am the same way and I wish others knew how satisfied one can be while doing so. Our family also enjoys playing board games, baking together, playing outside, etc. To me, those are memories my children, my husband and myself will remember forever. Thanks for yet another great post!
Kristen, this is a great post and right on topic. I think when people are frugal, they have self-discipline and this is evident in all areas of their lives, as you have shown us here. Thank you.
Thank you for this latest post. It has given me some things to think about. I'm passing this post on to my daughters. Thank you.
By far, the best in the series! Will refer to it again. I think the key word is intent. And when I don't ask myself what my intent is, I always say, do or act in a manner that doesn't bring honor and glory to my Heavenly Father. And that makes me very unproductive.
Well THAT was uncomfortable to read! Thank you. I needed that. Lately I've been playing solitaire on the computer way too much and trying hard not to notice how much time I've been spending.
I agree with Mary Kate; I've learned from and been affected by your blog (I am now more aware of our food waste, even though I haven't entirely eliminated it), but this is one of the most important things you've written.
Recently, I became sick from running myself down between life, school and work. I made a vow to start spending more time on self-care or I wouldnt make it through!
One of the 'rules' I made for myself was to not turn on the tv until 8pm. I didnt think I was a big tv watcher at all. I didnt really have a lot of shows that I DVR'd or would plan to sit and watch. I realized I was more of a 'white noise' tv watcher. I would have it on in the background while I was getting ready or while I would cook or clean and even though I may not have been watching it fully . . . I would pause for segments or interesting commercials or whatever.
Essentially it was taking up my time . . . but more importantly it was distracting me from myself. When the tv is on . . . I dont have time to think about what I am feeling at that moment or listening to my body to see if I need to relax or whatever.
Instead its spent with completly usless televison that I dont learn a thing from except to feel bad about myself.
It has only been a week since I made this rule but I feel SO much better. I have a lot more time on my hands and I feel lighter and more in tune with myself.
🙂
Wow, Val...I find myself doing the same thing! It's always on in the background whether I'm cleaning, reading, feeding the baby, whatever! It's something that I know I need to work on. It's just SUCH a habit! I'm not a big listener of music, so that's why I leave the TV on. Maybe I need to try your rule!
I too find it funny when people tell me I need girl time. I have 3 girls and get plenty of girl time spending it with them. We enjoy our family time so much. I would rather be there. Like Kristen, I sometimes take a small break for "thinking" time but its a quick trip out or something and I am ready to see my gang again.
Oh, I totally agree. I've been walking through this journey myself over the past couple of years, weeding out activities and items that aren't worthwhile or edifying. The biggest one was getting rid of our tv altogether! (I posted a little about this awhile ago: http://lifeblessons.blogspot.com/2010/01/why-we-dont-own-television.html) Now we use Netflix to select worthwhile shows and movies or I've lately been streaming a bunch of documentaries from PBS stations. Much more my style!
Yes! Having Netflix definitely makes it more likely that you'll sit down to watch a particular show because you have to manually pick it out. At least, it works that way for us.
I think it's because you can't just surf through the channels and see shows...you have to manually pick one out, and that just makes you think about it a little bit more.
While I don't share your religious beliefs, I do think you are mostly right about this. I wonder, though, if we over-analyze ourselves too much when we start thinking about how "useful" our leisure activities are. Isn't part of the point of leisure NOT to have to think about it?
No, I don't necessarily think so. I think the point of leisure is to be refreshed, and I know when I "waste" my leisure time, I am not nearly as refreshed as I am when I engage in leisure activities that are not a waste of time for me.
When I spent two hours aimlessly surfing around on the web, I don't feel particularly refreshed afterwards. When I spend two hours scrapbooking, playing games with my family, sledding with my family, or doing some other such activity, I DO feel refreshed.
So, the point is not so much usefulness and productiveness as it is refreshment. Leisure that is truly refreshing will leave us more ready to face our work than we were without it.
I hope that makes sense. I probably should have included something about that in the post, but it was getting dreadfully long as it was! lol
Kristen,
It all depends on your personality. Personally, I feel refreshed after channel surfing, or aimlessly reading stuff on the internet--for me, this mindless meandering is exactly what I need.
Karen
Which is exactly what I was saying. 🙂 Your leisure time should be spent doing something that's truly refreshing to you, and what's refreshing to you will be different than what is refreshing to me.
I've REALLY enjoyed reading this series. Thank you!
I am guilty of plopping in front of the tv from 630p until I go to bed. I wish I had the energy to be more productive but by the time I get home from work and finish cooking dinner, I'm "worthless." The most productive thing I do in the evening is laundry... But thank you for inspiring me to make a positive change.
I have the same inclination, although for me it's the computer rather than the TV. I'm playing with three ideas to combat that.
1: Set a timer.
I'm experimenting with 15 minutes.
2: Choose *one* task.
I pick one small task to get done in the evening, ideally it takes only 10-20 min. I feel better for getting that one thing done and I find that one small task is doable even with my limited after-work energy.
3. Go to bed earlier.
I have more energy and focus first thing in the morning than after work. So I decided to shift my schedule so I can be useful when I have energy. It's working so far. I should mention that before I started the Early Wake Up program, I started the Get Enough Sleep program. Only when I'd gotten caught up on sleep could I wake up early and be productive.
Thank you so much for taking the time to think through and write this series. I've been challenged and encouraged (it's still a struggle, though!). You do a great job -- keep on blessing us with your posts! 🙂
Kristen, when you described using your time purposefully you used words like engaging, play, pray, share, enjoy, encourage, intentional. When you described time wasting activities you used words like discontent, aimless, withdraw, isolating, time suck. Just dropping into the body feeling of there words tells you what activities are good for you and which ones are not. You made it easy to tell the activities (for you) that bring you to glorify G-D and which ones do not. I think G-D helps use use our own bodies to help us know that which is good, if we take the time to check in or we listen. I work with trauma survivors in my work as a therapist and many people need to relearn this. You, my friend, are a wonderful teacher and example to us all.
What a great post! I never watch TV but I do find that I spend a lot of time on the internet without having any specific purpose in mind. This is a great reminder that my time could be more wisely used. Thank you!
Yep, that's definitely a temptation for me! It takes constant vigilance on my part to avoid getting sucked into wasting time on the internet.
I have no problem resisting TV but the internet, well that's another matter. Actually I wish I could convince myself to watch more TV because that's when I knit and I miss it. But I have trouble committing to even half an hour (usually PBS on TiVo, but it could also be Sports Night or Firefly, which I recently got as a gift). Maybe I feel guilty about committing to that much fun when I have so many chores to do. So I spend the evening (30-90 min) online instead.
Tell me again how this is better?
thanks for the post, I'm a tv junkie and I hate it. It is like Paul's I do the things I dont want to do and dont do the things I do. I always regret the time I waste, but like you said it is so much easier to just waste time. I need to be INTENTIONAL!! I will bookmark this post. Makes me think of a quote I read not to long ago, "You spend your life how you spend your days!" Thanks again for the reminder.
This was perfect timing and insightful. I'll be reevaluating what's in my feed reader today so I can whittle it down to what's best and manageable. There's also a lot of really good stuff out there so sometimes it's choosing between best and best.
Thanks for including examples from your life. It makes it more real and applicable.
YOU ARE SUCH A BLESSING! YOU REALLY ARE A POSITIVE INSPIRATION AND A WONDERFUL TEACHER! I HAVE LEARNED SO MUCH FROM YOUR POSTS AND THEY REALLY MOTIVATE ME TO CHALLENGE MYSELF TO GET UP AND GET GOING!!
Thank You, You opened my eyes!!!
I've been making an effort to do this now that I'm out of my first trimester misery (during which laying in the fetal position with ginger ale seemed the best use of my leisure time). I mentioned to my husband that I'm filled with the desire to read lately, but it seems that whenever I hear about a worthwhile book it's not available at the library.
I decided to make use of my library system's lovely technology and place holds on books when I hear about them. The library will either get a copy from another branch or hold the next copy that is returned and then email me when they are available AND give me two whole weeks to come pick it up. I'm going to give this new system a go and see if I can cut down some of my TV time. Lost is a mighty fine show, but re-watching old episodes has been taking too much of my time.
I hear you! I spent a good number of weeks doing almost nothing but keeping the couch warm when I was pregnant with my kiddos.
The library hold system is AWESOME.
If you are able to afford it, buy a Kindle. Amazon has thousands of free books which includes the classics but a lot of new stuff as well, and they add new ones all the time. You just click on it and it is added right away to your Kindle. This has been super convenient for me, and saves me time and money. I have two jobs and usually can't make it to the library before they close. Here is a list of their top 100 free: http://www.amazon.com/gp/bestsellers/digital-text/154606011/ref=tsm_1_fb_frb_20110109
Good list! I don't like using Amazon (they upload data about me, my reading habits, and sometimes my location while they download my books) but I found a bunch of these at Project Gutenberg.
I totally agree. This is one of my new years resolutions because its something I've been guilty of. Thanks for the reminder! After spending 5 hours of watching TV, I feel depressed and angry for not being more productive. That doesn't relax me. But doing yoga or reading does!
Wow, that was a pretty good post! I totally agree. I have to come back and read the rest of it! No wonder you are so blessed! 🙂 Here is a random verse. And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord. Colossians 3:23
Thank you for this post. I do think that I spend too much unintentional leisure time, especially at night after work, where I just veg out in front of the tv. I was actually thinking about this this morning on my way to work about much I needed to do after work and how I could have accomplished a good bit of it last night had I not been such as wastrel. So thank you for this timely (for me anyway!) post.
But...I do disagree with you a little on a few points. Of course this is me, my opinions and my experiences. I have a very demanding job that requires a lot of brainpower and dealing with difficult people the majority of the day (I'm a hospital library who does a lot of medical research). When I come home, I need time to decompress and relax otherwise I'm likely to take my frustrations out on my family and friends. Now I'm single and live alone so I have the luxury of doing this without getting in anyone's way, but even when I was living at home, I always took some time for myself. This leisure time is spent watching mindless tv or reading romance novels. Yes, I'm a romance novel reader and have absolutely no problems with it. I find them to be (for the most part) decently written and a great way to calm my very tired brain down.
I do understand the point you are trying to make with this post and I agree that sometimes we become unaware of how much time we are spending doing mindless leisure activities.
But I really need and value my de-stressing time! 🙂
Oh yes. I'm not saying that we shouldn't de-stress or relax. Quite the opposite. I'm just saying that we should do things that are truly refreshing to us and that are consistent with our beliefs and values. Our leisure time should leave us relaxed and refreshed, and based on your comment, it sounds like you've figured out the difference between wasting time and having leisure time.
Hi Kristen,
This is a great post! I know live white my husband and two sons upstairs on a very small space because we are painting and make a new living room. Strange is we do not miss tv? And the boys are great on that small space we know life. It's just to be together and give Love! Sorry for my english writting its not my best cup off tea 🙂
Thank you for another great post. I totally agree with you. I don't watch TV very often, if I do it's usually PBS shows while I fold laundry. I find if I look forward to my leisure time, I appreciate it more (reading a few chapters out of a book). Sometimes I forget how important leisure time is. I notice that when this happens I am short tempered with my family and start judging others. If I stop and take a few minutes to slow down and regroup, I am a MUCH nicer person! 😀
Oh, now I want a bubble bath, because that's leisure time after which I am a MUCH more pleasant person.
I think we have different ideas about what leisure time is. I often do things that serve my family and LORD and that I also enjoy, like growing and preserving veggies and fruit, sewing, etc. But for me that isn't leisure time. Its still hard mommy work and it exhausts me daily even though I do it gladly. I struggle so much feeling guilty doing anything JUST for me, I forget that in order to take care of my family I need to take care of myself, so for me leisure activities are something that I do just for myself, whatever that is. And yes, I actually have to force myself to enjoy it, how sad is that!
I just want to say thank you....I've really appreciated your series on productivity....but this one was particularly timely. thank you for sharing so much of yourself with all of us!
lovely post. nice reminder!
I try to be productive as possible too. Great advice.
Really enjoyed this post! It's amazing to think that in just an hour long TV show, I could have been doing something waaayyyy more productive with my time!
I think you're so right about watching too much telly and spending too much time on the internet. Hours fly by with little or anything to show for it. I speak from experience and am working on it.
However I don't see eye to eye with you, and a number of the commentators, on 'me' time. I love my husband and daughters and of course I want to do my best for them, but I don't think I'd be doing any of us any favours by defining myself solely, or even primarily, in relation to them. Admittedly when my girls were very young I spent most of my time looking after them and I had no problem with that. However even then, and increasingly as they have grown older, I have always felt that it was important to preserve a part of my life that belonged to me (just as I believe they should do the same with theirs). So I meet with friends for drinks, or shared meals, I sing in a choir, I engage in political and community activity, I go to the cinema and to the theatre. These activities enable me to be a better person. I benefit and so do my husband, my children and everyone else I come into contact with.
PS It's important to acknowledge that not all telly is a waste of time. Our BBC broadcasts a variety of high quality programmes which are well worth the time spent watching them. And while I appreciate classical literature there is a wealth of excellent contemporary writing. However you're right, the trick is getting the balance right.
Dear me...I think I need to do a follow-up post about this me time thing. For now, suffice it to say that I definitely, definitely think that some alone time is good and helpful.
🙂
Thanks for a great post. I really appreciate the perspective as I too spend too much time on the Internet mindlessly playing games and reading gossip. I actually deleted all my gossip blog feeds and am stepping away from the games for awhile. I have noticed in the past that when I do that, I get more done and feel much better about my use of time. I suddenly have more time for leisure activities that are meaningful to me. Thanks for the reminder.
I think this post is great, especially as a homeschooling mom myself. When you get time to yourself, either alone or with those you love occupied nearby, it is important to kind of have a plan as to what to do and make sure it is time well spent. I can VERY easily get sucked into the internet too and actually even NOT want to move on because I haven't put the time into thinking of something to actually do! Then, I do NOT feel good because I know I have tons of things to do that are actually for ME that I could've done and actually think of later! (playing and learning my guitar, reading, watching something off Netflix, giving myself a pedicure, whatever!) Yes, just typing this gives me the idea to make a list of things that I can always do for fun around here!
Anyway, I do want to say though that first you need to know yourself. Are you an introvert or extravert? Maybe alone time regenerates and refreshes you, or if you need the time with other adults, or people in general, maybe talking on the phone without your children around is something that is time well spent. Personally, I'm mostly introverted, so I know that I need alone time everyday and I do need the occasional time out of the house with girlfriends. It's all something that I recognize is selfish, but selfish in a good way and that ultimately is giving to my family by making me a happier person, mother and spouse.
And YES to the going to bed earlier, even if you are a night owl. Trying it for two weeks has made me a believer and I am able to get up super early, go to the gym, and be showered and completely awake and ready by the time my kiddos wake up. Woo Hoo!! What a way to start my day!! 🙂
Really enjoyed this post as well! 🙂
This is just sooo good to think about and a challenge to live intentionally. Thanks!
In Fall and Winter I knit socks for others. For me as well, but in general for others. Since our (german) TV-Program does not always offer, what I find
nice or sensible. Plus - like you - I don't like the advertising.
My knitting is usually accompanied by an audiobook or a DVD. More often than not a period drama, not only inspired from Jane Austen-Books, but often.
Still, I got rustled up by your post to do more for others. Only found it today, years after posting.. 🙂
All the best, Annette
Thanks so much for your blog!! I know I'm super late to this original post, but do you know if there is a current link to the Sanctifying the Ordinary series you linked previously? I'd love to listen to that! 😉