On Contentment
Contentment is not a natural propensity of man.
Covetousness, discontent, and murmuring are as natural to man as thorns are to the soil. We need not sow thistles and brambles; they come up naturally enough, because they are indigenous to earth: and so, we need not teach men to complain; they complain fast enough without any education.
But the precious things of the earth must be cultivated. If we would have wheat, we must plough and sow; if we want flowers, there must be the garden, and all the gardener's care.
Do not indulge the notion that you can be contented with learning, or learn without discipline. It is not a power that may be exercised naturally, but a science to be acquired gradually. We know this from experience. Brother, hush that murmur, natural though it be, and continue a diligent pupil in the College of Content.
-Charles Spurgeon
P.S. Those of you that are Christians would be encouraged by this short piece on contentment by Spurgeon.
P.P.S. I've written quite a few posts about contentment in the past, starting with a How To Be More Content series:
- Introduction (about why I think contentment is essential to frugal living)
- Part 1: Look for the Good
- Part 2: Stop Looking Up
- Part 3: Look at Those With Less
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Today's 365 post: Two Months +
Joshua's 365 post: I think Lisey might just a little bit excited...
i have several philosophical goals this year, and one of them is working towards contentment. it's an interesting journey, if nothing else.
I started a sort of contentment project at the start of the year. Every day I write down one thing that made me happy that day. They can be very simple things, but it is really interesting to go back through and read now that I have a couple of months worth of things written down.
Even on a bad day it is never hard to come up with one small thing that made me happy.
contentment is an awsome thing!!
To play Devil's Advocate, I would say that discontent isn't inherently bad. I think it's all in how you handle your discontentment. I mean, people get discontented with dictators they tend to throw them out. Of course they most often put in place people who are just as bad but you get my point. 😛
Yep, in my series on contentment, I believe I addressed that issue. Sometimes, situations do need to be fixed, but on the other hand, there are a lot of situations that can't really be fixed or changed, and it's there that contentment comes in very handy.
We are facing some major changes in our lifesytle due to elder care. While reading elder care and hospice books I came across this Zen parable that has helped me refocus when I'm feeling worried or discontent.
A group of people gather and unload all their burdens into a pile and then sit in a circle around them. One by one they get up and look through all the troubles and worries piled in the center, turning each burden over and examining it carefully. After everyone has looked at the pile, they get up and each person chooses to take their own troubles back from the pile.
Christians often express this as "God never gives you more than you can handle." What I appreciate about the Zen version is that it points out that I don't know what trouble and cares most of the people I interact with have in their lives. Maybe the snippy grocery checker was up all night with her elderly mother. Or the happy bank teller has a child with leukemia. Or my employee's parents are losing the house she grew up in. When everything is going smoothly in your life, I think it's easy to forget to cut other people some slack and take things too personally. Really, most of us are doing the best we can at any given moment. And if you have a little extra kindness or optimism to spare, share it! It just might be what gets someone else through the day.
The morning receptionist/guard is like that. Always pleasant, always cheerful, always asking about others but rarely giving personal answers about himself. I know he works two jobs but that's because I ask a lot of questions. Yesterday as I left he was at the desk, which meant he was covering someone else's shift in addition to his second job. But he's always cheerful, always pleasant.
I find contentment just from myself. I do not like to make myself feel better because someone else is worse off than me. I don't like that at all. How would you like it if you were the lower person being used to make someone else feel better about themselves? Not very good, I imagine.
There will always be people who are worse off or better than you. That is why I try to find contentment inside myself. A good thing to do is to look at yourself when you first started out in your own life and then compare it to how far you have come. Look at your current situation, right here, right now.
I've come a long way from that small little innocent child I once was. I did the best I could. I made the right choices I thought were right, at the time. Hindsight is 20/20. We can't go backward. We can only go forward. Each day that we are alive, we are given a gift. The gift is to make each day as brilliant as possible. If we're lucky, fortunate and blessed, we will get another day to try again.
Look at your life right now. Here. Today. You've come a long way baby. And that is NOT a casual cliche'. It's true. You done good! (not proper English, but you get the meaning.)
Did you read the original post about looking at people who have less? In it, I pointed out that the goal is not to look down on other people, but instead to recognize that if they can be happy with so much less than we have, we certainly can be content with what we've been given.
For instance, looking at Laura Ingalls Wilder's life helps me when I think my house is too small. She and her family lived in teeny little dwellings and yet were happy and content.
And looking at currently living people who have less (such as people who live in slums and huts in Africa) should move us to compassion while also helping us to see our own circumstances with new, appreciative eyes.
Thank-you, thank-you. I have just been crooked today and you have helped immeasurably.
Great article!
If I may ask, do you know what kind of tree is in the picture at the beginning of the post? I'm planning on planting some trees at my place and the flowers on that tree are just beautiful!
Love this. Love Spurgeon. Thank you for sharing this essential message. 🙂
I was raised to live a frugal life and to find contentment in the gifts God gives me, and for the most part, I thnk I have done so. However, I sometimes find myself struggling with discontentment ("when can I get my 50 year old kitchen cupboards replaced?"). I have learned to look for sources of my discontent--am I reading too many magazines or watching too many TV shows dedicated to upgrading my home? Am I hanging out with others who tend to want more, more, more? Now, I'm not saying I need to live a media-free life and never spend time with friends, but I do need to be aware of what I feed my mind on and (more importantly) how much power I give those subtle messages I am receiving.
I found your website a couple of weeks ago and love it! It is well-written, full of common sense, and avoids "extreme everything" with a nice touch of humor thrown in. Bravo!