Oh hey, I'm responding to comments
I often do not get into the comments as much as I'd like, especially when I'm working several days in a row (I feel it would be in poor taste to be chatting with you all during a hospital shift!).
Soo, here's a collection of questions I missed, along with my answers.
Kristen, will you still qualify for paid medical benefits when your hours drop? Where I worked 30+ hours a week was full time for paid benefits.
Yep! One of the main benefits of my job is, well, the medical benefits. And luckily, we do indeed still have access to paid benefits when we are working part-time, which is two shifts per week instead of three.
I think there might be a change in how much the hospital contributes when you switch to part-time, but I am not positive, and honestly, I do not care at this point.
I love my job, and I love the work I do, but my work/life balance right now is just crap. I do not want to maintain full-time nursing hours while I'm trying to finish up my degree!
I will see how I feel after I graduate, and I will consider working more shifts then, but until graduation, absolutely NOT. Nope, nope, nope.
(Obviously, I am also maintaining a blog by myself, which requires a not-insignificant number of hours each week.)
Do you have a recipe for your egg bites? Mine don’t seem to hold their form very well.
Yes! I use this recipe from Once Upon a Chef, but I use cheddar instead of Gruyere (just because I have it around more often!), and I use more hot sauce than she specifies.
I also usually use a little less bacon, since bacon is not exactly a health food. 😉
I eat three of them before work, along with a piece of toasted Dave's Killer bread (the Aldi version, tho), and some fruit.
I often don't take my lunch break until 2:00 pm, so I need a breakfast that sticks with me pretty well!
Regarding the overthinking, have you ever encountered the Four Tendencies framework, by Gretchen Rubin? There’s a free quiz, and lots of interesting reading. If you didn’t come out as an Upholder, I would be astonished.
Yes! I do remember taking this quiz, and I am quite sure my results said Upholder.
This quote from Gretchen perfectly explains my work and school experiences:
As an Upholder, I’ve found, often rules are stated overly strictly, because the people issuing the rules know that most people tend to bend them a bit. I need to remind myself of that! Is this a rule that’s meant to be taken literally? Or is it okay to assume a bit of flexibility? Am I interpreting the rule too strictly or too literally?
I'm always over here trying to dot all my i's and cross all my t's, making a good-faith effort to actually meet every expectation, and it does not occur to me that it is possibly just fine to do less.
And I find it extra hard to fathom that I'm not actually expected to meet all of these expectations.
This is why I am forever emailing my professors to ask questions, because I read the instructions so carefully, find them unclear, and then feel like I need to ask clarifying questions so that I don't do the assignment wrong!
(And I do maintain that if they would prefer to receive fewer emails from me, THEY SHOULD WRITE CLEARER INSTRUCTIONS. 😉 )
You sound a bit irked these posts. I can almost see everything swirling around in your brain. I understand. Just curious, once school is done will you work more than two days a week? Is this typical in your area of work?
from the "boo-hiss!" post
Hahaha, well, that's because I am kinda irked about school problems. And I'm tired.
Lisey called the other day, and she was like, "Mom, I can feel the burnout through the phone." Ha.
It is true; I am feeling crispy, but I am hopeful that I will feel better once I go down to two shifts a week.
As I said above, once I graduate, I can always pick up more shifts if I want to, but I don't know if I will.
Is part-time normal? Well, I do have a number of co-workers who are part-time; there are all sorts of variations in how nursing schedules look!
Also, there's a weekend contract some people do; you work every single weekend (so two shifts a week), but you get paid for three shifts. So, that's part-time work for full-time pay, and it works great for parents whose partner has a Monday-Friday job.
I have my blog, though, which is a part-time job, so I will be financially fine working my two part-time jobs after I graduate. 🙂
Do you think you'll take on more rehab projects once nursing school is over? You really are good at making things beautiful.
Aww, thank you! I do sometimes feel a little bit sad that this phase of life is so busy because I have almost no time for optional activities.
I get the basics done (eat, work, sleep, do schoolwork, blog, cook), but I rarely have time to do a project, cook something just for fun, or go on a leisurely exploration of a new trail or park.
So, yes, once I graduate, I am very hopeful that I will have time for projects!
Right now, when I see a furniture piece begging for a rehab (like on Facebook), I have to be firm with myself and be like, "Not right now! We don't have time!" Ha.
I actually saw a chest like this recently on Facebook for free and I REALLY wanted to pick it up. But I know something like that will be out there again when I graduate.
One day, I will have free time again!
If I missed a question from you, let me know. Or if you have one you want to ask, drop it in the comments and I'll add it to the next question roundup. 🙂
P.S. If you want to see a lot more before and after pictures of that chest, click here.
I have so much respect for you right now, Kristen. When my schedule starts getting overloaded I can feel myself beginning to implode, and it's nowhere near as crazy as yours!
I took that Four Tendencies quiz once and think I was Questioner leaning Rebel, so pretty much the opposite to yours! I think these quizzes are a little simplistic but I have always been a questioner, which is not always appreciated, particularly when I was a kid in school 😉 I am also on the autism spectrum and have never had any problem questioning those in authority, which is apparently an autism trait. I don't necessarily mind following rules, but I want to know the reasoning behind them. I got a little annoyed when I saw that Gretchen Rubin said Questioners can have 'crackpot tendencies' because apparently we're more susceptible to conspiracy theories. One could argue that, but I would argue it's equally as dangerous to blindly follow rules without thinking about them (like in WW2 - kind of a dark example, but you get my point).
I have learned to pick my battles with rules as I've grown up though, and to keep some questions to myself! Still, I am happy to have this tendency. I don't think this is necessarily part of being a questioner, but another personality difference is that I DO think it's fine to do 'just less', depending on the situation (obviously not in nursing!). My usual approach is to do what I can, done is better than perfect, and if it's not done as soon as I hoped, it's not that big a deal - I can just pick it up the next day. I also need a lot of time to just be.
I've read that about the "crackpot tendencies". I think it could have been worded a little more tactfully! I also agree that following bad rules without asking ANY questions can be dangerous too. There are many examples of this on display these days - lots of Crabbes and Goyles to the Malfoys of this world.
The crackpot comment was part of the list of potential drawbacks or weaknesses to the Questioner tendency. I was thinking that the Upholder tendency may also have a potential pitfall in that the person may be vulnerable to control by a corrupt person or system, as they so dearly want to follow the rules well. Kristen, I'm actually thinking of some of the things you've written on your other blog. Both the system and the person were quite willing to exploit your desire to be a good human and do the things that were expected of you.
Thank you for answering my question, Kristen! I got unreasonably excited when I recognized it. 😀 I remain fascinated by the Four Tendencies framework, and have had some real success working with my students using the communication methods she suggests for each tendency.
Every strength is a weakness and every weakness is a strength. It's good to question but it can lead to overthinking and frustrating others around you. It's good to be reliable but not to follow rules without thinking.
I got the impression that Rubin looks down/gets more annoyed by Questioners and Rebels, probably because her personality is different, and maybe she thinks we waste time (for ourselves and others) by asking questions and thinking about rules.
Thats interesting bc I didnt get that impression at all from her writing. She has mentioned her husband is a Questioner and has helped her be more flexible (like leaving early from a play they werent enjoying).
True, but she also said she didn't think their relationship would survive if he were Questioner leaning Rebel (he leans more to Upholder).
I’m a rebel and have not gotten that impression from her material. I sense she’s making the effort to try and understand it, but never that she thinks any less of any of the tendencies. As a person who can be overly sensitive to any implied slights, she’s never pushed those buttons for me. But we all take our own impressions from things, and I’m not suggesting you’re wrong at all. Just that I’ve not ever felt that from her.
I know this is not of any comfort for you, but for me it was comforting to read that I'm not the only one dealing with stress right now. We had a huge project at work since September last year and it was intense. It just finished and I'm only slowly recovering. I think the level of work, especially during the last few weeks, was not healthy. I didn't have time for much else. My home looks quite untidy. I'm lucky if me (or the husband, who has mostly been equally busy but for other reasons) managed to to the laundry or clean the bathroom. And cooking our meals, because I need to eat something healthy. Phew! Plus it's not getting easier dealing with stress when you are slowly getting older and your body changes, isn't it? But now we have to enjoy the beautiful moments of summer!
Yes, exactly. We can do this for a short period of time, but it is not healthy to try to sustain it for extended periods of time.
I’m a teacher, and certain seasons of my year are much busier and more stressful than others. May is always awful, so I give myself permission to buy a latte every day. Usually (like many of your readers) I’m quite frugal, but I always say that a latte a day is cheaper than quitting my job. For what it’s worth, this might be a good time to use your frivolous spending budget for little daily treats that you wouldn’t normally get? A latte a day gets me through the worst parts of my year, and it’s money well spent to me. Then as soon as it’s over, I go back to my usual frugal ways.
Good luck - remember someday this will just be a memory, and you’re going to get through it!
I like this idea!
I saw Algeria shoes with Peanuts characters and thought of you. They would be a large splurge though.
Crispy Kristen = not the best possible Kristen. Along with you, we all look forward to your getting a more reasonable life/work balance and feeling a little less air-fried.
And I'm sorry I never got around to commenting on FFT yesterday, but I had a full day at NDN1's house with CF, doing one last giant sweep of the house for valuables and personal papers. The estate sale/cleanout guy we talked to last week plans to start his work on or about July 13, so we needed to get that sweep done beforehand. We found exactly 65 cents in change 😉 , but we also found one thing that gobsmacked us: a floaty peach-colored evening gown of a type neither of us could imagine NDN1 even buying. (At any rate, she never wore it: It still had the 1975 price tag of $105 on it.) Our jaws were gently bouncing on the floor!
Fun story about the dress! You're a saint for all the work you've been doing helping your neighbor. May your kindness return to you multiplied!
NDN1 must have had aspirations of being an evening gown wearer!
I bet she went shopping with a friend who talked her into it. That has happened to me several times.
Or she planned to go to a fancy event that didn't pan out.
A. Marie,
Huge kudos to you and CF for taking on the ginormous challenge. Funny about the peach floaty dress! It would likely sell well at a vintage clothing store (no, I'm not recommending you pursue that, just saying 1970s clothes are "in". Some hipster out there could rock that dress!).
Liz B., our thoughts exactly--which is why we left it for the estate sale guy to take into consideration. He stopped by at noon today to pick up a key to the house and make some notes before he gets started next Monday.
I would recommend you consign the dress yourself and give NDN1 the money when/if it sells. A friend had a recent experience with one of those estate sale/liquidation guys where most of her late brother's stuff was set out on the curb with the trash. He only cherry-picked a few things. She was so upset.
I found nursing to be such a beautifully flexible career. When my kids were young, I worked one day/week 10-6 in the PACU. It was my husband’s afternoon off & we switched the kids off in the hospital parking lot. And when I permanently hung my scrubs up, I worked 1-2 days per week in a cataract surgery eye center from 10-2. It got me out & about, I earned some money, & it provided lunch relief for the staff. People would laugh at my short day, but I told my manager that I gave her my best 4 hrs! Happy to be “retired,” but it was a good career. Cheers to you for moving towards balance
Speaking of comments, I want to thank everyone yesterday who offered such kind words about the passing of my dog - I was so touched <3. Also, thanks for the suggestions about buying a phone. I have some research to do!
This is definitely one of the best places on the internet! Kristen, you're so close to when you can cut back on your shifts. I know you've got your eye on the prize 😉
I'm so glad you felt supported in your loss. <3
"We do indeed still have access to paid benefits when we are working part-time"
Lucky you! At my hospital we have to be full time permanent (37.5h/week) to get any benefits. Even if we are part-time permanent, then pick up extra shifts to actually get full time hours, we still don't get benefits (or paid holidays, sick days, etc. Nothing. But we do get paid a benefits-in-lieu, which works for me since hubby gets benefits with is work)
Isa,
Ugh, I'm sorry your hospital is like that. Where I work (also a hospital), part timers can still get health insurance and accrue PTO, etc. Like Kristen mentioned, I think PT staff does pay a larger portion of the health care costs, and you accrue less PTO, etc.
Well, there is a time for everything under the sun. You may or may increase your hours again in the future, and you may or may not upcycle furniture. Right now "uncrisping" is what matters!
Frugal hack: I took one chap stick out of a newly-opened package and the little turn knob at the end to rotate it up didn’t work. It spun and spun and no elevation to the chap stick! I had a small, lidded plastic container with a little vaseline in, so I got a long thin knife from the kitchen and dug out all the chap stick material from the tube and put it next to Vaseline in the container. Waste not, want not! I use chap sticks/vaseline every day so this is a win.
I have so many tubes with the little (really, a lot!) bit of balm left in the cup part at the bottom. When I had ready access to a 3D printer I made little spatulas just for digging those bits out. Unfortunately I forgot to grab those when I left the lab.
Couldn’t you just use a popsicle stick? I’ve also used de-cottoned q-tips.
Just to chime in & commiserate, as I'm also quite "crispy". I'm planning to give notice tomorrow at work. I'm very happy to have had one more career job, so I could determine if I'm ready to retire (or, at least find something flexible & part-time). I'm definitely ready! My job involves lots of international hours, London hours, and overall lots of stress & craziness. I am ready to take a pause & then, if I feel like it, add something back in part-time.
I hope you are able to reset to baseline & then determine what makes the most sense for that season of your life!
Wow! Sounds like it will be a welcome transition. Glad you are able to make the change!
And thankful to hear that Kristen is able to drop down to two shifts / week soon to create a little more margin in her busy schedule, too!
Ohh, I'm so glad you can take a pause. YAY!!!
Hawaii Planner,
I remember when you were interviewing for your current (soon-to-be-ex) job, and all the hoops you had to jump through. Glad you are able to step away, and find something part-time and flexible! I have 5 months until retirement. I've been counting down since month 16. Ha. 🙂
Congrats, Hawaii Planner, on taking the plunge and giving notice. From reading both your own blog and your comments here, I've sensed that this has been a long time coming. Best wishes for the road ahead.
So glad you will get a reprieve soon with your switch to part time. Extra crispy Kristen has love and understanding from the Commentariat.
I actually feel your pain, I worked and farmed while getting my bsn. I was rarely smiling while running on fumes. You are just weeks away, you've got this in spades.
It won't be long, Kristen, before things get a little bit less hectic. Hang in there. You're running a marathon but you WILL get to the finish line soon. Just look at how far you've come already! We are all cheering you on!
Kristen, you have had so much on your plate in the past few years! Going to school while working full time in one job and part time in another seems unmanageable to me. I ran on the hamster wheel for far too long and it sucked the joy out of life, and the life out of me. I finally decided to go to 2 shifts per week when I was 60, and it was life changing. I’m glad you made that decision. Work/life balance is so important. Nursing is physically, emotionally and spiritually challenging work, and becoming harder every year. As they say, “You can’t pour from an empty cup”. Hang in there, the day is coming!
Yes, exactly! I think I will be a better nurse by dropping a shift every week and I think I'll be able to nurse for longer this way too.
Hang in there, chica! You can see the end of the tunnel, you have a plan to get there, and you know that you’ve gotten yourself thru even harder. You can do this.
Ok, so I went and took that little quiz and then it was like “put in your email address for your results,” and I was all like “f this noise, I don’t need some stupid quiz to tell me who I am, and I’m definitely not giving you my email address!” So…gonna go ahead and tentatively label myself a rebel…
Becca,
Lol, I think you've nailed it....:-)
Me, too! Likely the same outcome.
Bahahaha! Sooo, you are not an obliger. 😉
Um…no, ‘fraid not…
I did the same thing! I don't ever give my email address to get the results of a quiz! No way! I guess I'm a rebel, too.
Between my work schedule which is a rotating shift each week and working 40-48, occasionally 56 hr weeks. (I get scheduled a couple weeks each month w an OT shift. I can also pick up some if I'd like. I rarely do, unless I'm saving for something that needs done or to build my emergency fund back up.) And I have a teen that drives me nuts sometimes, who has another year or so of highschool. There's only so much time each week. Certain shifts are easier to schedule specific activities like meal prep, doing specific chores, and things like going out with friends or family.
I have quite a few little diy things I need to do around the house. Haven't had much luck working on a whole lot this year. There's almost always something going on, or I'm just not feeling like getting started.
I just keep reminding myself that it's the stage I'm in right now. Before I know it, I'll have the ability to set aside some time and tackle some things.
Examples are putting frosted cling film on some of my windows, and taking the glass shower doors outside to spray frost on one side so they aren't so clear. When I think about it it's not usually a good time. At the moment we've been having horrible heat indexes. You could cut the air w a knife. Ugh. There's other little projects. I'll get there.
Some weeks keeping up w the chores, my teen, and meal prep is more than enough.
I totally feel where you are coming from. My plan for when my young adult is out of the house in couple years. (Or at least working, figuring out a trade, and adulting more.) I'm going to work on paying off my house early. I pay a little extra each year, as I can. But, I could pick up OT shifts more frequently. After that I'm working on bigger house projects like updating the bathroom and kitchen, and redoing the flooring that needs it. And work on increasing my retirement.
I hope your super busy stage ends soon too!
Will you be taking a trip to Hawaii after you go PT to see your daughter? I always worked part time as nurse and got full time benefits throughout my entire career. I would always pick up shifts but incentive $ had to be attached to them. I knew how to use the system for my financial benefit. I rarely had burn out because I had full control over my career. You will absolutely get your life back and school will become more tolerable. You got this!
I love the Egg Bites recipe.
Question—You don’t include desserts in any of your meal plan descriptions. Do you eat sweets at all? I know we shouldn’t be eating sugar. I find myself buying lots of fruits at Aldi’s and am staying away from ice cream. What are your thoughts.
And thank you! I am almost 89 (but don’t feel like it). I love your columns. I am a nurse and love the medical profession! Congratulations on all you are accomplishing!
Kristen I think it's important for your mental health to do something you want to do maybe not every day but a couple times a week. I sew, cross stitch, and try other creative things. I go to a craft group at the library once a week for 2 hours. I know that's important for me and I'm retired. Since you're working -- that mental break is even more important for you, I would think. So stop and smell the roses even if it's just for a little bit.
My question-- I've read your blog for probably a year and I've always been curious about your family. Your other children-- where do they live and what are they doing and how often do you see them?
When you are feeling extra crispy, just focus on the fact that it’s a temporary phase. Soon your nursing residency requirements will be complete, and you will have your B.S. degree.
Since your blog is literally another job ☺️, you might likely find 2 days a week nursing + blog obligations to be the perfect amount of “work”
The extra nursing income from full time would only make sense if you have a financial goal/goals you need to save for. You will figure it out, we have such confidence in you!
OOf - flashback memories from XR school. At the time, I could not afford to go part-time so I was pretty dead on my feet at the end of the day. Would not wish that on anyone trying to do school with littles. Nowadays, the job flexibility is waaay better. And as you know, it will get easier. I work 3 in a row, am off 4 in a row, and can take paid time off when I need a break. The great things about weekends is increased differential pay and a regular tribe of work besties. I love it after trying to make my schedule match my kids and spouse for years.
It's so exhausting, isn't it?? I bet you were so relieved to finally graduate.