More on Money and Happiness (and Bob Marley)
A while back, I posted a quote from Bob Marley about money and happiness.
"Money is numbers and numbers never end.
If it takes money to be happy,
your search for happiness will never end.â€
In the comments, a reader pointed out that it's all well and good for rich people to say things like this, because they have enough money and then some.
Certainly, this is true to some extent. It's easy to say that food isn't a big deal when you never go hungry, and it's easy to say money is no big deal when you aren't scraping by.
And it is true that money can buy happiness when it gets you beyond the scraping-by level, but once you're past that, there's no further correlation between money and happiness.
(Here's a state-by-state graph of the numbers. Although in my experience, we got to a comfortable level of living at a lower income level than this. I think frugal people's numbers would be different than this graph shows.)
Basically, the idea is that once you have enough income to pay your bills and to not be constantly skirting financial disaster, you experience a lower-stress life, and you feel happier.
Interestingly enough, though, studies show that earning, say, $250K does not make you appreciably happier than earning $75K.
When I read the Bob Marley quote, that's what I think about. Yes, having enough to pay bills matters, but beyond that, money doesn't buy happiness.
It's easy to look at people who are insanely wealthy and think that surely their lives are magically free of problems. But rich people still can have unhappy marriages and difficult children and other problems that money can't solve (plus some problems that are caused by owning piles of money!)
You'd think that being able to buy anything and everything you want might make you happy, but apparently, that's not super fulfilling either.
This makes sense to me, actually, because when buying things is no big deal, you tend not to value them as much.
If you have 75 beautiful leather purses you bought on a whim, you probably won't treasure them as much as the one beautiful leather purse you had to save for.
Plus, if you can't be content with a lifestyle level that's "enough", then having more than enough may not change that.
For instance, if one beautiful leather purse doesn't give you thrills, having 75 isn't going to make you really happy either.
In a case like that, it's not a money problem, it's a heart/attitude problem, and no level of income will ever fix that.
On the other hand, if you can be content with the "enough" level, then you'll be nearly guaranteed to be content at higher income levels too.
Paradoxically, it seems that the only to be happy with lots of money is to be a person who doesn't need lots of money in order to be happy.
If your happiness depends on the money, there will never be enough. But if your happiness is found elsewhere, then "enough" money really can feel like enough.
Aw drat! I thought I was happy, but I guess I need to be making another 25k per year 🙂
Seriously though, I tend to be happier with less money than my husband is. I thought it was because he tends to handle the bills more, but it might be because I'm more naturally frugal. Hoarding money makes me feel almost giddy, whereas he wishes he could buy more big-ticket things that I don't care about.
When I envision happiness I think of dancing to silly songs with my kids, hiking in the mountains, having a picnic or sledding with my family, or chatting with them around the table on Pancake Sunday mornings 🙂
Many studies have documented that after the basic needs are met, more money doesn't make you happier--at least in the long run. However, I think it's just human nature to think the grass is always greener on the other side and it takes an effort to appreciate what you have if you are surrounded by others with more.
I have a friend that has a cousin that is quite wealthy but his wife is very sick and all the money in the world won't cure her. My friend says her cousin would give it all up for a cure, but that is not a trade that he can make.
It's wonderful to not worry about bills and health insurance and the like but beyond that enough is enough. When I compare how people in the US lived not too long ago and how many in the world still live today our day-to-day middle class existence feels like a luxury to me.
I agree. We have a very modest income but it buys fun luxuries that didn't exist for any amount of money just a few decades ago. Appreciation, gratitude, and contentment make the simple and the luxurious things in life enjoyable and the bad things tolerable. The love in my life from my husband, my boys, my family and my friends gives me joy. Enough money to protect and care for us gives me peace. Everything else is gravy.
At the end of the day, money is just a tool and a means of exchange. While yes, having more of it can provide some level of security to think that it will solve all your problems and create your happiness is essentially making money into an idol and idolatry is perhaps the worst sin we all commit on a regular basis.
Growing up poor has changed my relationship with money and it's really difficult to shake the feeling of being poor even when I'm not. That's not something that money will fix and I've learned that chasing more money isn't the solution.
I agree! I was just as frugal when I went back to work full time as I am now as a SAHM again!
Battra92 - have you read John Scalzi's blog post On Being Poor? He went through something of the same journey you just described (from poor to not; he's a wildly successful SF author) and never forgets what it was like.
I like thinking of money as a tool that helps get you what you want. This helps de-fetishize money, and make it comparable with other possessions.
I haven't read that but I'll have to look it up.
I'm working on changing my relationship with money because I know how it can destroy people. Since my daughter was born I've found that since I don't have as much time for things I am working on getting rid of them and honestly, when you purge out stuff there's less of a need for new stuff (and the money to support buying and maintaining it.)
I had read these studies before,and tend to agree. But having the resources to help deal with chronic illness, make life just a little easier, and avoid the aggravation that is inevitable in just being alive, sure helps.
Yeah, and I think that's what the studies are saying. Having enough money to deal with the necessary bills in life DOES make a person happier. It's just that earnings beyond that level aren't correlated with more happiness.
Sherri: I totally agree with what you're saying about dealing with a chronic illness and having the extra money that makes life a little easier is a godsend! We have a cleaning helper as I have serious arthritis issues. My quality of life is much better because of my helper (I refuse to use the term "maid" because I think it lessens the importance of the work.) Is it an extravagant spendy luxury? IN my case, no, and I'm thrilled and grateful I have the regular help.
I am poor financially due to life circumstances that were beyond my control. It's a tough way to live. having to keep an eye on every penny. My income is just enough to pay rent and bills and buy food. Some days I do OK without worry, but on other days it is very difficult wondering how I will make it down the line.
I agree it is easy for people who have enough to say money cannot buy happiness. But, I do think money can buy peace of mind.
I have been there, and I feel you! It's rough to have little or no margin, and that's why earning more money does increase happiness to a point. Having that bit of breathing room is life changing.
Beautifully put. I think your attitude and outlook have everything to do with your own happiness. While we all wish we could find a bag of money, it wouldn't matter much from a "life satisfaction" angle anyway. However, Mr. Picky Pincher and I have found salary increases pretty darn useful for getting out of debt faster, which has in turn made us happier. But I guess you could really say that getting out of debt is making us happier in that case. 🙂
We're celebrating being able to save 60% of our income now! Thanks to hard work and a lot of attitude adjustments, we're on our way to being truly free. 🙂
Completely irrelevant to the topic- I love the black dresser! And against the red wall it is very striking.
Thank you!
It's a common misunderstanding of these studies, to summarize it as "money can't buy happiness." The better phraseology is "once the basic needs are covered, more money won't buy more happiness."
To put it in economic terms, money exhibits very sharp diminishing marginal returns.
Yep, that's exactly it. It only buys happiness to a point.
I whole-heartedly agree that money does NOT buy happiness! My husband always uses this analogy......the guy with the super expensive dream car who drives himself to and from a job that he hates in order to have the car of his dreams. Or another is the people who have way more house than they can afford only to work like dogs to afford it and barely spend time at their dream home! Money OR things do not give you happiness.......experiences do, memories do. You have to be happy and fulfilled on the inside. All those outer things make no difference. If you need possessions for your attempt at happiness, then there's something far bigger that's missing.
I find this topic fascinating, probably because it's so relevant to my current situation.
I've always earned a good salary, but three years ago, I accepted job in a faraway, rather dangerous place. As a result, I got a bonus of about 25,000 USD, tax-free per year.
I have been amazed at how much of a difference that extra cash has made in my life. We've saved a lot, because I always knew this was a permanent thing, but we've also been able to ease our lives in a lot of other ways, whether it's taking a cab from the airport instead of three buses and a metro, or being able to, frankly, "throw money at a problem" occasionally. so much less worry and extra planning, and often a lot more fun.
That money will stop this summer, and I have been bracing myself for a major letdown. I am hoping that the savings we squirrelled away when the case flow was high will help ease the transition a bit, but I can't lie and say I'm not REALLY nervous about losing that "safety net"
I read a book several years ago on this topic called the Spirit level. It looked at exactly what you are discussing and agreed with your point on a global level.
It also noted that more equal societies are happier, even if they have smaller economies than richer countries. E.g. citizens of Denmark are happier than the US despite not being richer.
Some really interesting points.
"If your happiness depends on the money, there will never be enough. But if your happiness is found elsewhere, then “enough” money really can feel like enough." That's why we need Christ! 🙂 Everyone knows Philippians 4:13 but when you read it in context it speaks to exactly what you are saying, "I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through Him who gives me strength." (Phil. 4:11-13) Paul is saying if we are content in Christ, trusting Him to provide, "less" often feels like "more" and we are able to focus on what really matters. Our extended family is frequently concerned for financial situation (my husband earns roughly 45k) but I tell them that the Lord will continue to provide as He always has. That may be less (it has been) and it may be more (we've had that, too!), but regardless, my faith has never been in our financial standing and that allows me to be content, and in turn, happy. That feels like more than enough. 🙂
Yep. And God is the one who gives me the grace I need to be content...that's where my strength comes from.
One of the many reasons I love your blog is the gentle, loving way you share your faith! 🙂
I absolutely agree with the idea that happiness does not continue to increase as income increases, so that billionaires must be deliriously happy all the time. Having one's needs met certainly brings a great likelihood of happiness and peace, although, even then, one can still be unhappy -- I might have enough to meet my needs with a little cushion extra, but have an incurable disease that won't kill me, just makes life difficult. My child might get into drugs, or my parent might have Alzheimer's, so that I'm not happy. On the other hand, not having enough, scraping by day to day, wondering if the bills will get paid or how on earth to afford to move out of a miserable neighborhood, pretty much guarantees no peace of mind and only fleeting bits of happiness, in my view. This is where I have to remember the words of Paul, who was content in times of want and in times of plenty, when hungry or filled. I certainly would prefer, if given the choice, to have "enough," but I strive to find peace no matter what the situation is that I find myself in. I don't succeed enough, but I keep trying!
Your comment made me realize that one reason why more money doesn't continue to make you more happy, is that humans compare themselves to others. Worse, we tend to compare ourselves to others doing better than we - however you define "better" for the purposes of the comparison. You have a million dollars? Well, a million doesn't buy what it used to. Ten million? Yes, but I can't afford the fancy yacht that Jones can. Fifty million? Yes, but look at Smith, who is paid that much over 3 years and can afford a full-time butler and housekeeper at his NYC co-op and his weekend home in the Hamptons.
Comparisons can push us to achieve more but they can also make us unhappy. We have to know when to stop.
Yes, a never-ending cycle of more, more, more to be better than the next guy. And the next guy is trying to be better than me!
WOW! Really great post and spot on in my opinion. May be a bit cliche but happiness is found within and certainly not in material things. Thank you for sharing, really great post! 🙂
Lori
This is also a great mindset if you have that person in your life that tries to control you with money. As in....I'll help you pay your bills but I'm going to question all your purchases. Or I'm giving you this expensive gift, but I"m never going to let you forget my "generosity". Or I'll give you that loan but I'm reeeeaally going to make you kiss my ring first.
My gramma was like that. Her kids were money grabbers that would snatch up her offerings in a hearbeat - then resent how she'd make them dance. All she had to do was threaten to cut off their inheritance to get them to do what she wanted.
Even in my poorest of my "poor college" years, it was a pleasure to turn down her money. Yes, I lived poor, but I was free of the chains and my finances remained my own private business.
My favorite quote which I have both at home and in my office at school days, "gratitude turns what we have into enough".
My brother calls this "The Law of Enough." Unfortunately, most of my family has been low-wage earners for most of their lives and there just isn't Enough most of the time.
I have tried to break away from that drag on the family financial history and I am doing OK, but with a salary at only about 1/2 the amount of my state's Happiness Benchmark, I would certainly like to make more! Nevertheless, I can eat, maintain a home, a (paid for, used) car, and can afford little extras now and then. This is the lap of luxury from where I was 15 years ago and I am so grateful.
Laura Vanderkam's book, All the Money in the World: What the Happiest People Know About Wealth, is an interesting discussion of this. Her premise is, if you are not using your money to buy happiness, you are doing it wrong!
OMG I love Bob Marley! I totally agree that once you get past the point where all your monthly bills are covered, the level of stress drastically reduces.
After that when you start thinking about the future though, the stress levels go back up because you know you want to set yourself up for the future but need more money again!!
Its a never ending cycle!! haha.
The best way to increase happiness when having more than enough money is to give away that excess.
As they always say, if you got something that money cannot buy (family, good health, peace of mind) then you are truly rich.
It seems like the more money people have sometimes the more they spend! I like the peace of not having to worry too much about that!
I'm 43 and I've found it very interesting that my desire to be rich has declined steadily as I've gotten older. Back at about 25 or so, I thought winning the lottery or starting some amazing business that would be an instant hit overnight was the answer to a long, comfortable and happy life, but now, I have no desire to be rich, monetarily speaking. I am very comfortable, content and happy at our middle class income status and wouldn't change it for the world. Just one of the perks of getting older I guess.
I think it depends on whether more money leads to more worries (more complicated lives, increased property to worry about, etc.), or whether more money leads to elimination of worries. Unfortunately, I'm also a worrier by nature, so sometimes I have to just train my mind to worry less and be more content in the moment.
We all recognize that there are things no amount of money can take away, but but there is also wealth of different kinds that we might be blind to. If you are lucky enough to have lots of family and friend support, you might think differently about money than somebody who has to pay for every single service and support. Likewise, if you have to travel and pay for expensive tickets every time you want to see family, the whole "what is enough" thing appears different. It's not always chasing after more expensive cars, bigger houses, etc., but some emotional connections simply need money to uphold and nurture.