Monday Q&A | Outfitting a college home + Resisting rest
I'm going to be starting college soon. I was just wondering if you have any tips for college students. I will only be working part-time and will have 1-3 roommates.
Our room has a full kitchen and I don't know what my room mate(s) will provide (like pans, a toaster, bowls, plates, silverware) so where would you suggest getting those cheap? I plan on trying freecycle when the time gets closer, but if they don't have a dish set or silverware set, do you think I should try to get it at a Salvation Army? Also, would you suggest washing dishes by hand or using the dish washer? Where do you think you could get a bed set cheap too, preferably one that's not used because it has to keep hold for at least 3 years?
Thank you very much,
Victoria
I think it's GREAT that you're thinking about this before you head off to college...good for you! When you graduate, you'll be glad you tried to keep your debt to a minimum.
Freecycle is a great place to get housewares inexpensively, but yes, the Salvation Army or another thrift store should have basic housewares for great prices. It might be a bit tough to get a good silverware set, but if you don't mind having mismatched pieces, you could put together a set from the bins at a thrift store.
A dishwasher is almost always a more frugal choice than hand-washing, provided that you wait to run it until it's full.
For a bed frame, check out craigslist. I got a solid wood bed for $50 that way recently. That's much less expensive than a new particle board bed! Freecycle might also have something.
If it's bedding you're looking for and you want a high-quality sheet set, it might be worth stopping by a store like Marshall's or T.J. Maxx. They often have name-brand, high thread count sheet sets for good prices, and if you're not too picky about the color or style, you're almost guaranteed to find something that will work for you.
I am a young married woman who works a LOT and I wanted to ask your advice as on how you manage to have everything in order (even though you do say your home is a mess sometimes). In my case, it's either the home cleaning that gets behind, either personal things that I want to do (like appointments, buying staff I need) or, if I ever manage to do all the above plus work then I am exhausted. I know a lot about schedule and slicing things etc, but how do you manage to resist sleeping an hour more or crashing on the couching or throwing yourself in a book, etc., etc. and instead do a load of laundry?
Ana
It is true that I almost never have everything in order! That's only happened about once in my married life, when we put our last home on the market. And it took a LOT of effort to get our house to that level of cleanliness and order.
We all have a limited number of hours each week, and so we're always making choices about how we spend those hours. If you work a lot, it's very possible that you just don't have enough hours in the day to get everything done.
I'm assuming that your work is non-negotiable, so it might be wise to see what other tasks you can simplify. Could you live with a little more mess? Use some of your earnings to hire some household help? Order more items online to save shopping time?
As far as resisting sleeping in or reading a book goes, I think it might be all right for you to do that sometimes! If you work a lot, some downtime and rest is really important. I take Sundays off each week...I don't blog, I don't do household chores, I don't do paid work, and I keep meals simple. This gives me time to spend with my family or friends and is a welcome rest from the faster pace during the week.
I also make sure to sleep 8 hours each night, as that gives me energy to work hard during the day.
I like things to be neat and clean and I like to cross things off of my to-do list, so as long as I'm well-rested, I'm usually pretty motivated to get things done. When I do feel like slacking, though, I tell myself just to do one thing (like wash the dishes). Once I do that one thing, I often find myself motivated to do another task and another task.
You also might try holding out a reward for yourself...like you could tell yourself that if you do the laundry and wash then dishes, then you can curl up with a book.
P.S. To help you maximize your housework time, here are three ways to be efficient. That post is part of my productivity series, which you might find helpful.
"T.M. Maxx"
Kristen, I think you meant "T.J. Maxx"
Yes! I actually fixed it almost right after I published the post, but you must have been reading while I was fixing it. 🙂
This is for Victoria, the soon-to-be college student. You could ask for items that you will need, beginning with the most basic, in lieu of birthday, graduation and other holiday gifts. Much like a bridal registry, just informal. Then you fill in the gaps from Salvation Army or other thrift shops yourself. Also, if it's garage/yard/tag sale season now, where you are, begin shopping around for household items yourself. These days I find better deals at garage sales than thrift stores.
For Ana, who is trying to get more done in a day. I dislike housework, but know that it has to get done. So I do bribe myself. I may say to myself "get the kitchen cleaned up and I can begin the craft project that I want or spend a half hour checking emails". And with my kids I've always set a number of items to tackle or pick up, like pick up 30 things that area out of place, then go play. Good luck.
For housework, I have found it better to set a manageable goal for each night. For example, we don't have a working dishwasher, and we threw a party for 10 people. So I set a goal to load up the drying rack once a day (I hate drying dishes). Since I was still cooking every night, it took me a bit to get the sink empty again, but since I could see progress every night it was more bearable.
The young married woman did not mention her husband, which makes me wonder how he feels about things and if they are working together to create the home environment they both want. I hope they will realize it is a partnership and build a solid foundation for the ever-increasing responsibilities that come with married life.
Ana--I agree with Debbie--NOW is the time in your marriage to work on a fair delineation of duties. You are setting patterns for the rest of your married life. Please realize that your husband will not do things the way you do (my husband doesn't neatly stack the bowls in the cupboard but he does help with dishes) and if you get nit-picky about his help, he will be less likely to offer it. I have found that if I do one of my husband's chores every once in awhile, it makes him more likely to help me out when I am having a busy day. Hopefully your husband is great about sharing the workload with you and you don't need to read this comment! 🙂
I work full-time and I highly recommend hiring a cleaning service. It costs us $80 twice a month--which is just $40 a week. And it buys me more than $40 in sanity and relaxed time with my family.
...and the other nice thing about having a cleaning service is that you need to pick up the house the night before they come, so it forces you to get things in order.
I was going to chime in with this, too. My husband will tell anyone: he is unwilling and/or unable to help with housework, but adds that it's not fair to leave everything to me because I work full-time, too. So, he hired a cleaning lady who does all the wet cleaning (mopping, bathrooms, etc.), dusting, general straightening up, and changes the sheets. I do the laundry, cooking, day-to-day cleaning, etc. If you can find someone who works for themselves (as opposed to a service) you can get your heavy cleaning done weekly or biweekly for much less than marriage counseling. 🙂
I realize hiring someone else to do something you can do for free isn't very frugal, but being angry and stressed about the kitchen floor isn't productive at all, and a lot of being frugal works better when you can plan and be organized, and this could help your overall program.
Victoria, who's soon to be in college - here's where I got a lot of stuff when I was first out and on my own!
"Tent Sales"/clearance sales - I remember our local grocery store had a tent sale where they were selling a ton of kitchen gadgets for $1 or less.
TJ Maxx and other discount stores - Often these stores will have complete dish sets for cheap that are higher quality than the dish set you would buy at Target or similar. You may also be
Goodwill and thrift stores and garage/rummage sales - You can cobble together dish and silverware sets, as Kristen suggested. I see a lot of dishes and old pots and pans at garage sales!
Dollar stores - obviously not the most quality dishes in the world, but I had some large plastic bowls that I got at the dollar store and used for everything from chips to popcorn to party/potluck serving dishes to cookie and cake batters for YEARS. They weren't fancy, but they did the trick.
Sam's club - I don't know about CostCo or other similar stores, but I got some really nice aluminum half-sheet pans from Sam's club that have stood up well over the years. They were very inexpensive (about $15 for 2, I think, but that was a few years ago). They have a few other kitchen items.
This is a good article about how to outfit your first kitchen ("A No-Frills Kitchen that Cooks"): http://www.nytimes.com/2007/05/09/dining/09mini.html?_r=1&oref=slogin
I'm just now hitting 30 and I've been getting kitchen gear for just about every birthday and Christmas for the last decade. I'm finally to the point where I have a lot of nice stuff - I think the key is to start with what WORKS and what is CHEAP, and slowly replace items as you get settled, get more money, and get roommates that won't leave your fancy knives sitting in a sink full of water. (bad! bad roommates!)
Here's the shopping list from Mark Bittman: http://www.nytimes.com/imagepages/2007/05/08/dining/09minilist.1.ready.html
- obviously you don't need everything (I certainly don't need that many saucepans!) but it is a good place to start and pick and choose from there. He does a lot of shopping at a restaurant supply store, which I would also recommend because it's awesome kitchen-gadget-heaven, and full of good deals.
For college items....let folks know that you are more than happy to accept their hand-me-downs. I have two boxes of stuff in my dining room right now that I need to take to a donation center but if I knew a college student just getting started, I am sure there are some dishes, towels, etc... in there that would be useful. My neighbor gave my daughter a futon that she was planning to donate.
For Ana: Have you husband help! Another thing you might consider is trading house cleaning with a friend. One morning, each of you go to the other's house and clean for 3 hours. I've always found that I like cleaning someone else's house, better than my own! Or, you could have a friend come over one morning and help you clean your house, and in the afternoon, you could go clean her house. It is a lot more fun to clean with a friend to keep you company!
I have found a trick that works for me. I time myself for each chore. I now know that I can make the bed in 3 minutes and when I feel like leaving my bed unmade I tell myself it'll only takes 3 minutes, you can do that.
I also found FLYLADY's (flylady.net) email reminders helpful in getting a routine that works for me.
I just came in here to recomend Flylady. She helped me turn my house from something out of hoarders into something that I'm not ashamed to have company over. Also, talk to your husband. It sounds like you feel like you're the only one doing anything.
As AFS said, the trick to Flylady is to use what works for you and not to be afraid to not use or adjust something that doesn't.
Victoria- if you have an IKEA near you, they have inexpensive, nice sheets. I've been using the same pair for about 4 years and they still hold up very well and are much softer than the Target ones I have.
I was just going to suggest IKEA, too! It may be a bit more expensive than what you could find at a garage sale or Salvation Army, but I've found that their furniture and other "marketplace" items hold up very well. I bought a desk and hutch in 2006. Six years and six moves later and it is STILL a solid piece of furniture that we use.
Great post! I relate to Ana. I live on my own and after a full day's work, the gym, and making dinner (sometimes not event this!) I hit a wall and find my household chores add up. Will be checking back for more tips and techniques.
Another source of cheap furniture (in both senses of the term) is furniture rental companies, such as Cort Furniture Rental. Don't rent - buy their used stuff. It should last the 3-4 years of college.
Another possibility is to haunt college campuses at the end of a semester, as departing students need to dispose of their furnishings.
Well... I fear I may be about to post the "contrarian comment" here, but when has that ever stopped me?
So... Victoria. If I were you, I'd resist the urge to buy a lot of things just now. I mean, of course you need sheets, but in terms of kitchen stuff, I'd wait and see what's there and what you *really* need before you buy anything. College is a time of your life when you get to experience a lot of freedom, but having lots of things can make it feel much less "free."
I arrived at college with about 3 times as much stuff as most other students, and it always felt a bit like it weighed me down... there's something really wonderful about not having to deal with stuff, and being able to "pick up and go" at a moment's notice. Trust me, it won't be long before you have a house full of crap to deal with, and a mortgage, and all of the other "trappings" of modern life. I say, give yourself this time to enjoy life without the trappings.
And in terms of sheets... I say go used. I bought three sets of sheets 17 years ago when I moved into my current house - one fancy new set, and two mix & match sets from the thrift store. The new ones fell apart years ago, but the thrift store sets are still going strong. I'd see what you can find used and give them a good washing in bleach if you're concerned about sheets that someone else has slept in. A "wanted" post on FreeCycle will probably get you everything you need.
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Now for Ana. Reading that comment made me want to cry. I remember a time in my life when I felt constantly overwhelmed. I even made a list of everything that I needed to do each day - I figured I just wasn't organized and disciplined enough. So I wrote it all down and wrote out how long each thing would reasonably take... and it came out to 36 hours per day!!! No wonder I was exhausted!
From the sound of it, you simply have too much on your plate. My answer would be, if your body is telling you that you need to sleep, for God's sake girl, SLEEP!!! Did you know that failing to get enough sleep puts your body into a pre-diabetic state? It also makes you far less productive and more prone to stress and making mistakes. You're not helping anyone by depriving yourself - in terms of sleep or in terms of general relaxation.
I can't tell you how to reduce your commitments, I can only say that it's SOOOO worth it. You only get one life, is it really worth it to be miserable and exhausted all the time? And while it may seem that you "have no choice" about your schedule, you really do have a choice... You ALWAYS have a choice.
I ended up making some pretty drastic changes - I gave up my career, live with much less money than most do, and totally stopped trying to "keep up appearances." And I have NEVER regretted it. For me, my sanity and general well being was vastly more important than anything else. You don't have to be as drastic as I am, but it sounds like some prioritizing is in order. Good luck with it!
Best to both of you!
xoxoxo
Cat
Good point -- you will be very busy in college and weighing yourself down with lots of stuff beforehand may be unnecessary. Beyond the kitchen basics (one setting of plate, silver, etc.), you may want to wait and see a) what your roomies have brought and b) how much you are actually going to cook and what the level of that will be -- Mac'n'cheese? Tuna sand? Chateau briande? Maybe you won't need the whole magilla . . . Kudos to you for thinking about all of this! Good luck at school!
A comment for Ana - My approach for keeping up with house cleaning is to just focus on one room at a time. Every day, I pick a room and spend 15-30 minutes picking up and cleaning. Sure, the whole house won't always be clean, but the kitchen or the living room or the bathroom will be better than it was. This is less overwhelming than feeling like I have to get EVERYTHING done.
I also agree with the other commenters - your husband should be helping too!
I also wonder if cleaning less often might work for you. If you're looking for housekeeping advice online, a lot of it seems geared at people who want to do chores daily or weekly. But, maybe that's not what you want or need to do. I remember reading this blog post about once-a-month cleaning a while back, and it made a lot of sense to me.
http://simplehomeschool.net/the-case-for-once-a-month-cleaning/
Maybe that would be a possibility, and you could set aside one day a month, or a couple of hours a week, or something like that, to clean, rather than feeling like you need to spend your leisure time cleaning. Personally, if I were working full-time, I really can't imagine having the energy to do much more than the necessities (like washing dishes and picking up just as much as I needed to be able to relax).
As to laundry, I find that doing it first thing in the morning helps me, but that might not work for you, if you start work early. If I do get behind, my husband and I will sometimes just do one marathon laundry session of 3 or 4 loads on a weekend day, and then put on a movie that night and fold while we watch. Or, maybe you could outsource your laundry. Maybe you could use a laundry service, or trade chores with a friend, or something like that.
Just a side note to Victoria about second hand furnishings....I have been fighting a bed bug battle recently and had to remove all second hand furniture, items and clothing from my home plus have ongoing pest control treatment to try to eradicate the bugs. Bed bugs are becoming a real problem in our world today.
Great advice, I love your site. For the lady struggling with time, it helps me if I set aside 10-15 mins every morning to work on the house before I leave, you'll be surprised what you can get done! I too like to crash when I get home, guilt free as I have done my bit for the day, making it easier to keep on top of things
Jules
Just saw this today and if you haven't gotten your siverware yet you may want to look at this deal today - http://www.housewaresdeals.com/on/demandware.store/Sites-HousewaresDeals-Site/default/Home-Show