Miscellany | including: a bus hit our car
My overnight was fantastic.
I went to a local hotel overnight by myself on Friday, and it was fantastic.
I took a walk in a local free park at sunset.
I ate outside at a little Mediterranean restaurant.
I went to bed early. 😉 Because I am a party animal!
I ate breakfast all by myself.
And I barely talked to anyone.
While I can be a fairly social person, there's definitely an introverted part of me that is very, very happy to be all by myself for short periods of time. And since there's not a whole lot of that in my life, it's a fun change.
I mean, I don't want to be by myself ALL of the time. But a small dose here and there is fabulous.
(Shoutout to my brother for his lovely family and friends hotel discount. I highly recommend having one of your siblings work for a good hotel chain. 😉 )
A bad thing (aka a bus) happened to the new car.
You know how the wreck totaled our Civic a few weeks ago?
Well, we got the insurance money and used it to buy a new-to-us 2005 car a week ago Saturday.
Yay! No more rental cars, insurance papers, car shopping, and so on. Glad that's over! Phew.
Well, last Thursday, day five of owning the car, it was parked in our yard.
(Not on the street, mind you. Said car was not touching pavement.)
Anyway, a school bus came by, saw a delivery truck blocking the end of the street, backed into the car, then drove forward again and dragged it, almost into our fence.
We seriously could not believe it and I said some words that normally do not come out of my mouth.
Five days of owning a car, and it gets hit by a school bus. While parked. Whyyyyyy??
So, we have a rental car again, and our car is at the body shop.
Mercifully, it seems like the bus's insurance company is going to repair our car instead of totaling it, so we won't have to go car shopping again.
And on the upside, there was already a small dent in that door, and that front fender had previously been repainted poorly.
So, at the end of it all, the car will probably be in better shape than it was before, especially since we got to pick a good body shop to send it to.
But still. I really, really hope that this is the end of car issues for us for a little while.
I skipped my Hungry Harvest this week.
Sometimes, I get a little backlog of fruits and veggies (ok, mostly the veggies if I'm being honest. Fruit is easier to eat!)
Hungry Harvest lets you pause deliveries whenever you want, though, and when backlog happens, I just log in and take out an upcoming delivery.
This gives me a little wiggle room to finish up the produce that's already filling my fridge so that I have a clean slate (and room in the fridge!) for another delivery.
Hungry Harvest is all about preventing food waste, and for me, that means skipping a delivery every now and then.
I am really loving podcasts.
They cost nothing, which is exceptionally frugal. And I love that I can put in my earbuds and listen to something while I'm going for a walk or doing something boring like cleaning my bathroom or putting away laundry.
There are so many out there, there's bound to be something that fits with your interests. Entertain and educate yourself while you're driving! Or scrubbing your toilet!
(Since I know some of you will ask, I listen to What Should I Read Next, the Fizzle Show, sermons from a local church, two Christian podcasts on marriage that I'm not going to share the names of because some of my more traditional and conservative readers might be offended, and then lately I've also been listening to a variety of podcasts that are talking about/questioning/re-evaluating purity culture, which was huge in the church during my teen years.)
We met our health insurance deductible!
Last year, we met it in December, which is pretty useless because the whole thing resets in January.
This year, though, we have a lower deductible, and we met it in April. Which means that for the rest of the year, our insurance will pay 80% of all of our bills (we pay 100% until our deductible is met).
Since our plan is a high-deductible plan, we opted for the HSA account, which allows us to funnel part of Mr. FG's paycheck, tax-free, into an account for health spending. The money in an HSA never expires, so we always opt for this when it's offered.
Tax-free money really comes in handy during the pre-deductible-meeting period.
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And that's all my miscellany for today! Have a lovely Monday, friends.
Nooooooooooo! Not again! So sorry about car #2. Argh! And thank you for saying that words came out of your mouth that don't normally .... I appreciate you keeping it real (as you can guess, I occasionally have the same problem!).
I'm glad you had a re-energizing night away alone. I hear ya ... as a fellow introvert, time to re-charge my batteries all by myself is very infrequent but very welcome.
Yes! I think sometimes our culture sends a message that there is something wrong with you if you like to be by yourself sometimes (like maybe that you don't love your kids or your significant other like you should), but I really think that's wrong.
If you NEVER wanted to be around your kids or significant other, then ok, maybe you should have stayed single. Ha. But needing a little alone time to recharge and relax and have chance to do exactly what you want without having to always think of other people...I think that's pretty normal.
I hope you get a chance for some recharge time soon. It does definitely get easier to steal away once the kids get older!
Yes, this past year both kids are at an age where we can leave them alone for longer stretches of time and it's so nice!
I think American culture is very pro-extrovert and that the perception is that introverts need to be "fixed" to become extroverts. Not sure that perception will change within my lifetime; meanwhile, I know that everyone in my family needs to have alone-time scheduled and we make sure that happens!
Have you read Susan Cain's excellent book 'Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking'? I almost skipped it because I thought I was pretty well informed about intro-and extroversion (big Meyers Briggs nerd here!) but it came highly recommended so I gave it a shot and I'm so glad I did! Susan Cain also has an excellent TED talk on the topic.
Kristen, so sorry for all of your vehicle related trouble!
I'm glad everyone is safe but gosh that stuff is such a pain to handle.
Have you ever read anything by Sarah Bessey? She is an author of a couple of books, the first of which is 'Jesus Feminist.' She's an evangelical in an egalitarian marriage and she talks about feminism, purity culture and all kinds of other topics. You may want to check out her blog...sounds like some of what she has to say may really resonate with you.
I'm a daily reader who almost never comments, but I want to say thank you so much for your lovely blog....it is a breath of fresh air. My best to you and yours 🙂
I read Quiet! But I haven't read any of Sarah Bessey's stuff. I didn't know she wrote about purity culture! I'll have to check that out.
I also read Quiet and enjoyed it but didn't find it to be that memorable, perhaps because I'm at an age where I have accepted the strengths of being an introvert instead of focusing on the downsides.
I checked out the Sarah Bessey blog--thanks for the suggestion.
Sorry about the accident. I have said for years I could never drive a bus and I hate backing up. You know I don't think I ever had a night without kids (mine are grown and parents now) except for a few sleepovers youngest attended. I was even her GS leader and church chaperone. I'm glad you enjoyed yourself.
So driving a bus backwards is your worst nightmare!
Are you seriousss?! That's insane!!! (Oh boy that car is a gorgeous blue!!) So was the bus driver reprimanded? I mean if they're driving a bus full of kids...I would like them to be a lot more responsible than a parked hit and run!
I have no idea how things will go for the bus driver. I imagine the county has a protocol for bus driver accidents, and it probably all depends on their track record.
She did park the bus and call the police and such, so she didn't hit and run, mercifully. And the bus's insurance is paying for Joshua's repairs and all, so that's good.
I would have been REALLY mad if it was a hit and run!
In my area, hit-and-runs are usually covered 100%, but you have to pay your deductable for regular accidents. Something of a perverse incentive there, if one is inclined toward fraud.
Total bummer about Joshua's car. Sometimes it doesn't rain but it pours. Don't blame you a bit for cursing at that one.
I saw your Instastory about the bus mishap (Everyone make sure to follow thefrugalgirl on Instagram! 😉 ). I was like, whaaat??!! So sorry! I can't believe it dragged the car across your lawn!
Glad to hear you had a lovely getaway.
"I ate breakfast all by myself.
And I barely talked to anyone."
That sounds like a dream. 🙂
Right? Sometimes that is JUST what the doctor ordered.
Hopefully this marks the end of your car frustration period!
I hope this doesn't come off as too self-serving, but you might like the podcast I make. It's called Local Mouthful and is about home cooking.
I think our parents swung too far in the opposite direction from their free love generation. They were trying to do the right thing with purity cultural... it was what seemed best for them at the time. And I can’t fault them for that. We all do the best we can with the information that we have.
BUT I agree that is definitely caused some problems with our generation’s thinking of sex (especially in marriage). Like how we don’t talk about it at all. And how our kids need us to more then ever. I’ve been thinking a lot about purity culture too. And I hope to have more of a running diologe with my children (answer any of their questions, give them lots of resources, celebrate marriage and its joys, explain the science behind reproduction and periods, talk about how everything God created is good in its proper place, be affectionate to my husband in front of them (my parents never kissed or hugged in front of us), stuff like that).
If you ever want to blog about resources you have used with your kids some of us that are a few years behind you would really appreciate it (I know they read your blog so I don’t know how you feel about that - and it isn’t really a frugal topic...). And for younger moms a suggestion for two books:
* God Made All of Me (preventing sexual abuse in children)
* Good Picture, Bad Picture Jr. (explains danger of pornography at a young age - my husband was exposed to porn at six and it is probably worse today with the internet). I heard a speaker a few years ago that said you can’t start too early to give them resources to protect themselves. My kids don’t have phones or tablets but some of their 3 and 5 year old friends do and it terrifies me.
And there is a great website for information on the safety of certain apps as your kids get older (if you give them a phone). https://protectyoungminds.org/blog/
And your night away sounds dreamy to this mom of three little ones. 🙂
Hear, hear! Ignorance cannot protect itself, but information is power. I was heavily involved in anti-drug abuse work for a while and one lesson came out loud and clear: responsible grown-ups were waiting too long to talk about drugs. By the time the parents brought up the subject, the kids had heard about drugs from other sources - usually the wrong ones. Better to catch a teaching moment and touch on the subject very young. Also, attitudes are more effective than facts, especially for the younger kids (say, under 8 or so): "Wow, that guy made a dumb choice and look what happened" rather than "Cocaine has the following negative effects on the body."
"how everything God created is good in its proper place" - love this!
The beauty of working in a medical field is that I can come home from work and say "Today I saw a really good example of why drug use or (fill in the blank) is bad for you". I make sure I don't give any details which would affect confidentiality, of course, but I can give general information to my kids about the effect of certain life choices.
I also really like birdsandbeesandkids. My MOPS group hosted a video and discussion about talking to kids about sex, and it was really good. I especially like that they don’t present a specific ideology, but emphasize that parents are kids’ first and primary teachers, and how important it is to discuss your values and basic physiological information with kids.
Another vote for good pictures, bad pictures jr! It’s such a well written book and not half as awkward as I imagined it would be. And, FrugalGirl Pro Tip: I borrowed it from my library before I bought it.
Teaching your kids about S-E-X is a lot more frugal than becoming a grandparent.
Haha, that is the truth. Like that proverb which says something like, "Going to bed early to save on candles is short-sighted if it results in twins." 😉
OK, that's some seriously bad "carma" Joshua's got going there. (Yuk, yuk) When I was a kid, I had incredibly bad luck with cars. Mine was of the breakdown variety rather than crashes, but still... I had a car that got a cracked block, one that threw a rod, one that burned more oil than gas, and one that would just inexplicably die in the middle of intersections.
Anyhow, when I graduated from college, my mother bought me a brand spankin' new 1990 Honda Civic wagon. It was less graduation present than self defense mechanism, since my plan was to drive across the country after graduation, and I'm sure she wasn't excited about getting a call in the middle of the night saying "Um... Mom... I'm somewhere in the middle of Iowa..." There was also a bit of guilt thrown in since I'd purchased all of the above lemons with MY own money and HER recommendation (important safety tip - if you're gonna have someone recommend cars for you, it ought to be someone who knows something about cars!)
Anyhow, she gave it to me with one condition... that I keep the "curse breaking Wonga doll" in the glove compartment at all times. I have NO idea what a "curse breaking Wonga doll" is, I think my crazy mother took the car to one of her tarot card reading friends to make sure it was gonna be OK. Well, my mother passed 5 years ago, but the little Honda is still going strong at 28 years old. I'm not necessarily recommending the Wonga doll, but it does bring a smile to my face every time I'm rifling through the glove compartment looking for something. 🙂
Here's hoping Joshua's luck with cars turns soon!
Wow, 28 years is AMAZING!
I sorta think that Consumer Reports might have had more to do with it than the Wonga doll, but who am I to question! 🙂
My bad luck this week was the motor on my 5 year old blender going kaput. I then did three things, almost simultaneously:
1) checked to see if it were still under warranty (no);
2) bought a new replacement while they're still available, because it turns out mine isn't made any more and the replacement model is twice as much (of course I negotiated a better price); and
3) found a shop to check out the old one, maybe it's repairable. If it is, I'll return the new one.
BTW, I couldn't find a small-appliance repair shop so I tried a longshot: a vacuum and sewing machine shop. It paid off: one of their guys works on other motors on the side.
Here's hoping it can be repaired!
I also highly recommend Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel. It's an audio version (with comments) of couple's therapy sessions, each stand alone, working through an issues in a marriage. She also has a great TED talk or two, so you can check out her style. It's tagged "Explicit" on iTunes, but it's not raunchy - just acknowledges that sex exists, and some people like it.
If you are interested in women and careers and writing - Best of Both Worlds is by a practicing physician and a writer, both with multiple kids. They answer questions and have great guests.
I will never forget in Jr. high my bus driver was taking a corner on a narrow side street and accidently side swiped a car parked on the curve with the license plate "przjsus"- and I went to parochial school! The driver stopped and reported it- and kept picking me up for the rest of the year. Decent bus drivers are hard to find.
Sorry about the car! Glad everyone is ok!
Your night alone sounds like my dream come true! I'm a bit of an introvert, so I tend to want to be alone. My poor husband decided to get up early on mother's day so he could fold laundry for me. Meanwhile, I'm super annoyed that he had the audacity to be awake during my 5am alone time, lol.
I've only been following you for 2ish years, so maybe I missed something, but have you divulged what denomination you are? I just ask because you seem to have the same ideals and laidbackness as I what I've been looking for but have been trouble finding. I've been trying different churches and always end up where I grew up. I would love a quick email from you, I completely understand that you wouldn't want to publicly share. thanks!
I don't mind sharing! Generally speaking, I'm an evangelical Christian, but I really hate that as a categorization because boy, there's a lot in evangelicalism that I don't love. Specifically speaking, I grew up in the Presbyterian church (PCA), but we recently left our PCA church and will probably end up in a non-denominational church, although we're not positive.
If you have some more specific questions, feel free to send me an email!
Thanks! That was super helpful and super unhelpful, lol! I grew up in an evangelical Lutheran church, recently tried a different type Lutheran church that was not my jam, and have been overwhelmed by nondenominationals. I feel like it's so much harder when there are kids in the mix, so I like to hear where others gravitate.
It is surely not your thing, but I discovered podcasts when I listened to 'my dad wrote a porno' which was created by a thirty-ish guy who discovered that his dad had written erotic romance and published it on Amazon to make some extra cash, so he listened to it with his friends and, bless him, it was hilarious! (his happily married dad, in his sixties, was the sweetest ever erotic writer you've ever come across!!) - it's quite naughty in places though, as you can imagine (but in a funny way!)!! Another podcast I love is Armchairexpert (I think it's that) it is absolutely life affirming and really makes you feel good about yourself.
Who am I to judge what is your thing or not, I take back the beginning of my first sentence!! 🙂
Hahaha! My 84 year old father (who is also happily married) has been writing a series of what he calls "Seemly Sex Stories." They're sort of hilarious as he lives in a completely different world from the rest of us, and the things he considers to be "racy" are downright giggle-worthy. I find it strangely amusing that he's not the only elderly fellow engaged in such pursuits! 🙂
Oh this is awesome ! Your dad sounds pretty cool, I love 'seemly' sex... I'm intrigued!!
If you haven't discovered it yet, the podcast "Homeschooling in Real Life" has some interesting episodes on the negative effects of the purity culture. It's done by a Christian couple and well worth a listen.
So sorry about all the car issues lately! I hope this is the last one for you!
I too have been discovering the wonderful world of podcasts. So many interesting, different topics to chose from. They do make the most mundane chores go by faster.
That is some serious bad car luck! Like everyone else, I hope this is the last time!
The next time someone asks me if we regret getting rid of our car I'm going to tell them your story!
I sure wish we could go car-less after this spate of incidents. Ugh. Alas, we live in a very, very not walk-able area with few terrible public transport options. So, cars it is for us.
I don't think it can be easy to know what to teach Christian young people about purity in this modern culture that accepts casual sex so openly. In the end kids will make their own decisions, but one wants to steer them in the right direction. I feel that biblical standards are still to be observed, but I'm in the minority group.
Well, speaking as a Millenial (just barely!) who is one of 3 siblings who all waited for marriage, who did not grow up in a church that emphasized purity culture, what tipped the decision for all three of us was my mom the nurse being honest about the risks and rewards of premarital fun, providing us with comprehensive physiological, STD, and birth control information (not just for my sister and me, but my brother, too), and having numerous open conversations where she was willing to answer just about any question (kept some boundaries about her and Dad!)
Kids are smart, and can make good choices, given good information and getting rid of the shame component.
My ear buds that came with my iPhone hurt my ears. Any suggestions for better ones?
That car story is simply terrible! First words out of my mouth were "Oh, no, not again!" I hope it all works out that Joshua comes out with an improved version of his new-to-him car. Poor guy, he deserves a break.
My daughter's house is on a corner. A man ran a stop sign, hit a woman on the intersecting street, the woman hit the gas instead of the brake in her panic at being spun around, and she slammed into the front of my daughter's house. It took a year and a half for the insurance companies to figure out who should pay for my daughter's repairs. Lucky for her, the house was still weather tight, but her front door was unusable and her covered stoop was a wrecked mess for all that time. No one was hurt seriously, at least.
Just as the house was finally getting fixed, a hit and run driver rear-ended her in her nearly new car. Lucky again, another driver chased the hit and run driver and snapped a picture of the tag number. So her repairs were paid for by the guilty party, but a part for her car took weeks to come in, so repairs took forever.
Just after that, my sister's car finally died (on the interstate!), and she replaced it with a new-to-her car. Three weeks later, someone ran a stop sign, hit a car, that car spun, and hit her car. Off to the shop for a couple of weeks. Injuries were minor.
The same weekend of my sister's wreck, my wrecked-house-daughter's boyfriend was hit from behind in a city a couple of hours from here, at an intersection, when a car rear-ended the car behind him, and that middle car then rear-ended him. Repairs took about three weeks.
So, I hear you on this car thing!
I keep waiting for Hungry Harvest to reach us here. My name's on the list, and I'm hanging on.
I would so love that day away like you got. We introverts must re-charge, and quiet does it for us.
UGH! I can't believe the car got hit by a bus. I mean, what are the odds??? I'm glad everyone/thing is okay, but that's just downright annoying.
Hubs is taking a much-needed vacay this week in NYC. What stinks is how expensive the city is! I'm trying to keep costs as close to $0 here at home to compensate.
Aw, man, I wish you could share the names of the Christian podcasts on marriage! I'd love to have something thoughtful on that sort of subject to listen to while I'm doing chores and watering the garden.
You have been emailed. 🙂
I would also love To know the names of the Christian Marriage podcasts When you get a quick minute!
Fellow introvert here. I’m proud of you for filling your cup, and taking a day alone. Thanks telling us that you did, that’s something I’d love to do but I feel selfish for asking for it. When finances allow I will feel less guilty about asking for an entire day alone.
I would also like to know the name of the podcasts for both the Christian marriage and the purity culture. I have two boys and grew up/live in a very conservative area that is very much a dichotomy in regards to purity culture (highly conservative area with a large college tourist presence). I would like to do a better job in preparing my children for today's society than I saw in the late 90's. If you don't want to divulge, it is okay.
Oh, dang, that stinks about the car! Make sure the wheel/tire/suspension is checked out, as that dent goes inboard enough that they could have been hit as well.
Yes! They included that in the estimate for the insurance company.
Goodness Kristen... Thankful that no one was hurt in the latest ordeal with car issues. Hard to believe that bus did that when the car wasn't even on the street. Well- like you said- the car should return to you in better shape than when you purchased it. Will be praying for NO more car issues any time soon. Your overnight getaway sounds like it was a great time of recharging. I totally believe in the need for some down time/alone time, every now and again. You go girl!
Holy cow! Joshua seems to have bad luck with cars!
Per podcasts, I enjoy some retro video game related ones but mostly I tend to listen to audiobooks. Most podcasts that are of a subject which interests me are universally terrible, I'm afraid.
Sorry about your car. Glad no one was hurt. It does make it easier that it was parked and no one was in it. I was at the doctor with my youngest getting her stitches out and the receptionist asked if I had a black mini van. I knew it couldn't be good. A man had driven into the car parked next to mine and thru that car into mine. Not a good day. I had all 3 kids with me. Hubby was in the city. We were stuck there waiting for the cops and then a tow truck for 3 hours. The doctor thankfully took the stiches out quickly and I put YD in her stroller and she went to sleep for a while. I had a bag with water and snacks with coloring so we just hung outside while we waited. Fun memories.
I usually read your blog through feedly but had to come read the comments for clues. I was raised in and live in a very conservative, evangelical area (Bible Belt). Podcasts, blogs, and books are my go to for the biblical teachings I’m searching for and enjoy. I love Jen Hatmaker, Sarah Bessey, Tony Campolo, and Jaimie Wright, to name a few . The Liturgist podcast is a fave!