Miscellany | during my math test
I have my dosage calculation exam this morning, which, as you know, is very anxiety-provoking for me. I have always passed it, but I hate the high stakes with this one; more than two wrong, and you fail.
And it's not even that the math is all that hard; it's just that you really, really have to get it right, and you're under a time crunch too.
BLEAH. I will be so relieved when this is behind me.
NPR tracked Walmart grocery prices for six years
(Here's the article for your perusal.)
NPR has been doing this tracking for six years, so they have a nice little pile of data to look at. The good news is that prices didn't budge much from 2023-2024, but the big picture trend is predictably discouraging (we all knew grocery prices had gone up, up, up since 2019!)
I cannot change the complex causes of grocery inflation, of course. But as you know, when I am faced with a problem where I feel helpless, I always like to ask, "What CAN I do?"
(Interestingly, I wrote about that in 2018, in the midst of my first marital separation.)
So I reminded myself:
- cooking at home is still always going to help reduce overall food spending
- avoiding food waste is even more important when grocery prices are so high
- basic staple foods are still the most affordable options (oatmeal, rice, beans, tuna, chicken, carrots, sweet potatoes, etc.)
- tap water is always an affordable option for hydration (juices, sodas, and alcohol are all skippable with zero negative impact on nutrition)
You can't get your grocery bill down to Tightwad Gazette-era levels with these basic frugal strategies, but you can minimize the impact that inflation is having.
And focusing on what you can do will usually make you feel a little more cheerful. 🙂
Speaking of alcohol...
I'm getting asked about alcohol consumption now
Something I have noticed is that at most medical appointments I go to now, I get asked if I drink any alcohol. I have always been asked about smoking, but the pervasiveness of the alcohol question feels new.
I actually love this because even setting aside alcohol-related issues such as addiction, drunk driving, danger due to lack of inhibition, and so on, alcohol is a class 1 carcinogen and is the third leading preventable cause of cancer.
Sooo, if they're gonna inquire about smoking, it sure makes sense to inquire about alcohol use as well.
It is interesting how in 2025, we all know that smoking can cause cancer (it's a class 1 carcinogen), but not nearly as many of us realize that is also true of alcohol. Mostly we think of alcohol as causing liver problems, but that is hardly the extent of the damage it does.
Lucky for me, I dislike the taste of alcohol, so there is no reason for me to drink it. My alcohol consumption sits at 0, which is good for my body and also for my wallet (alcohol is expensive!)
I love when health and frugality overlap.
A story-telling podcast
Someone I know started a sweet little peaceful podcast of classic children's stories, and I thought those of you with young kids might enjoy it! It's called Inflection Audio.
Here's a link to it on Apple Podcasts, but you should also be able to find it on any podcast player you normally use. 🙂
On "you guys"
I have recently heard multiple people talking about how they hate the phrase, "You guys". This phrase seems so common and generic to me, I am always surprised to hear it has irritated someone.
I personally use it in real life (I'll text my girls and be like, "You guys! Guess what happened today??)
People around me use the phrase too, even at work.
For instance, a doctor will go into a room and say to a patient and family, "We'll see if we can get you guys out of here today once we get the bloodwork back."
Or the nurses/techs will say, "Do you guys need anything else while I'm in here?"
I know in some areas of the country, people say "Y'all" instead but "you guys" is far more common here.
At its most literal, I realize "you guys" is not gender-neutral, but everyone around me does use it that way (and I obviously do too when I text my girls. Ha.)
And I suppose you could argue that it would be less sexist of a term if we also were comfortable using, "you gals" as a gender-neutral term.
But....also I think that there are far bigger sexism battles to spend our energy on.
For instance, I personally don't care if everyone at the hospital says, "you guys", but I would appreciate it if male patients stopped saying creepy things to the female staff. 😉
I got a magazine for "mature" people
I'm being tongue-in-cheek with this but...I felt slightly miffed. I know I'm not a spring chicken anymore, but I'm also not exactly nearing retirement age. Who decided to put me on this mailing list??
The publication had helpful articles such as, "What Happens to Your Debt When You Pass Away" and an advertisement for an, "Ask The Undertaker" information luncheon.
Honestly, I feel like the luncheon title went a little too hard."Ask The Undertaker"? Really?
I am not attending the informational luncheon and I recycled the magazine. 😉
_____________________
Looking at the NPR article, I can't quite believe it. I know prices on things I buy have certainly gone up since last year. I wonder if it's a generic versus name brand issue. The shrinkflation I definitely see - the gallon jug of orange juice is now just 89 ounces, the box of juice is 59 Oz, not 64. Per unit pricing is key to knowing what's the best deal.
I used to use "you guys" a lot, but try to limit my current use to family situations. I don't view it as gendered, but other people do. And I'll just come up with a different collective noun to apply to the situation.
You've studied well for this exam-stay calm and calculate on! Your faithful readers are cheering for you across the internet!
@mbmom11, When you look at the article, NPR tracked prices at one store, in one part of the country (Georgia), so it may not reflect what's happening everywhere in the U.S. or in your area. I would be really interested to see a nationwide study on this.
Also, the inflation number is an average, not representative of each product price. Some prices went up, some went down, but on average they were only slightly up. Hope this helps explain the numbers that were cited.
@Brooke,
I think it's also the items they purchased. The things I see going up now had fewer increases earlier in those years.
@mbmom11,
The other bad thing about "shrink inflation" is recipe alteration. My favorite old fudge recipe from Better Homes and Garden calls for a specific ounce can of evaporated milk and evaporated milk no longer comes in that measure, so two cans have to be opened. It pays to pay attention.
Missing two math questions seems a little harsh. I use my phone calculator on any med ciphering because I trust it's accuracy more than my own. That said, you know your math, you taught math to your children and you "do the math" in frugality. As mbmom11 said, "us guys" are rooting for you.
I don't drink alcohol, either. I did go through a period of drinking beer (I'm odd, I do like the taste of it) but because I knew how my Dad's alcoholism affected our family I didn't stay with it. And I do think my Mom's smoking has had a long term effect on my lungs.
As for "unsolicited mail," before I turned 65, the deluge of secondary insurance plan offers to go with Medicare was horrendous. I stacked the mail on one of the rocking chairs in the living room and it all finally ended at sixty pieces. During the annual open enrollment period for drug insurance, I still get a lot of offers. I depend on my pharmacist to help with choosing the best benefit, and all of the mail goes into the "circular file."
I don't mind "you guys" on the basis of gender - as you say, much bigger battles to fight, and not the hill I want to die on.
It annoys me slightly the phrase has been co-opted by social media (read: various Kardashians, et. al.). "Hey, guys" is used to address a captive (and seemingly brainless) audience in order to sell utterly useless and expensive junk.
I did not know alcohol was in the same carcinogen class as smoking. Yikes! I’m surprised the dangers don’t get more air time.
@Kaitlin,
the difference is quantity and degree. It is very unusual for a smoker to be anything other than a full time smoker. They may not be a chain smoker, but every day, several times, they smoke. The smoke and particles tend to get into their clothes and on their skin / furniture (depending, of course), but that's the bottom line.
For many people, ''drinking'' is a kind of wide net. Do you mean you have a glass of wine with dinner at Sunday lunch? Are you downing bottles of vodka? Drinking a keg every Friday? Are you pregnant? On medication that prohibits it? Are you diabetic, where a small glass of red wine is actually quite helpful to a lot of people in stabilising numbers?
Quite a few fast foods are also carcinogenic, but again, so much hinges on ''how much, how often, which one?'' and that is conveniently ignored. It would be best to never, ever, ever eat processed food of any kind, you'd not suffer nutritionally! You'd spend less! But...
And that's where a lot of us land. Smoking, by exception, is always incredibly harmful and there is no occasional treat aspect to it, as there is with, say, panera or whipped cream or cake or an ice cold beer on a Saturday afternoon in summer. It's always, 100% bad.
@Caro, wise words!
@Caro, thanks for the elaboration! I read that moderate amounts of alcohol can actually be healthy (or at the very least, not damaging), so it makes sense that there are levels to this. Generally speaking, data studies need to account for that kind of nuance (ie, quantity and diversity of people used for the study).
@Sophie in Denmark,
I suppose also it's like barbeque meat. Often, if it's a bit charred, that is 100% carcinogenic. There's no question that it is. It is... but do you eat barbeque meat several times a day every day all the time, morning noon and night?
My doctor says that the ''safe units' of alcohol are all fine and well, but not necessarily all to be drunk at once, lol! Sure 4-5 units of alcohol a week (or whatever the number is) is okay, but 5 units in 2 hours is... not!
As I said earlier this week I worked with an editor who had very (very) strong opinions about clear writing and speaking. "You guys" was one of the phrases she disliked because she felt it was just extra words that added nothing to a sentence, even in casual conversation. When I used "everyone" instead she would flag that as well. She didn't manage to cure me of my overuse of the word "of" but she did teach me to read things out loud which improved my writing tremendously.
@Darlene Too, I published five books on art in my time as a curator and my editor was the same. I adored her and our discussions to clean up language that is everyday okay but not for print.
"You guys" is part of my daily chat. I don’t think about the gender problem for the same reason that Kristen mentions: bigger issues abound.
However, I’m kinda horrified that patients would be so ignorant to nurses! I guess I thought that switching from the dress would have put a damper on such behavior.
I had two incidents of this my last shift, and I was wearing my looser scrubs, not at all low cut, with a long-sleeved shirt underneath. And since I'm not a curvy person, I REALLY do not look curvy through the scrubs!
So yep, it doesn't matter what you wear.
@ErikaJS, sadly, some patients remain creepy and it has nothing to do with the dress of nursing or female support staff.
@Darlene Too, I use"you guys" frequently, but really, only when speaking. I wouldn't use it in writing, even casual writing (well, maybe in texts!) unless I was writing dialog.
I live in Michigan, but I love the word "y'all" and use it regularly - both in conversation and in texting. Maybe it's because my mom is from North Carolina and I've spent a lot of vacations there, maybe it's from my time living in Virginia. I don't know. But it's a word that should totally travel north.
The podcast sounds nice, especially for car rides. I can't find it on Spotify, though. Hmmm....
@Ruth T, Oklahoma transplant to various costal regions here. Totally agree with you on y'all! I really resisted anything that would label me as "Oklahoma" once I left my parents' house, but started adopting y'all again a few years ago. It's just so convenient and gender neutral!
The closer you get to 50 the more stuff you will get for seniors. Be prepared.
You will do well on your exam, I’m sure!
I speak to you from the icy south. Several inches of snow plus ice in a region with no snow plows, no salt trucks, no cinder trucks, no snow blowers, no snow shovels, no snow tires, no tire chains, shoot, hardly any car window scrapers. So yeah, we are at a standstill. Some parts of the capital got several inches of snow. What I got here where I live is ice.
And some have no power, brrrr.
I don’t mind you guys but the expression here is y’all and that suits me fine.
@JD, stay warm! We have not had snow here, but we have had freezing rain and ice. The snow line did not press eastward past the Intracoastal Waterway in most parts of Northeast Florida. This unusual weather has definitely added a little excitement to this January.
@JD, take care! As you say, your region isn't used to this type of weather and doesn't have the equipment to handle it. But I know that you're better prepared to ride it out than the average (polar) bear.
And, as an expat Southerner, I too am a user of "y'all." I particularly enjoy using it with folks from the NY Metro area, just to see the reactions. Besides, the second-person plural in Brooklyn is "youse," which to my ear isn't nearly as appealing.
@JD, stay safe! That sounds terrible.
@JD, I'm a Florida transplant living in the midwest and it was -15 here yesterday morning! But we DO have all of those things y'all don't have in the south and I have proper clothing! I got up, got dressed and drove to work 20 miles away. 🙂 I'm not sure I even always owned gloves when I lived in Florida. And wet cold in Florida is truly a whole different ballgame even if people make fun of me here for saying that! Hopefully the novelty of snow makes up for some of the discomfort and everyone has power soon.
I always have and always will say y'all. It is ingrained in me. I get teased here a LOT for it, but also many people I've known well here for years now say it, too. I guess it is contagious! It is a very handy word (phrase?)!
Good luck with your math test!
@JD, Stay safe! Up here it was -4 F last night and a whole town lost power due to a substation problem. People were sitting out in their cars, idling, to stay warm. I hope you are warm and your pipes keep flowing!
@JD, I'm on the gulf coast by Tampa, no snow here but it was a frigid 38 this morning...and has only crept up to 41 thus far. Stay warm!
Also - I say "Y'all" a lot. And "you guys".
@A. Marie, but shouldn't they have known how to prevent it? Sorry, those who live in glass houses (hurricane alley as well as wildfire central) on their soapbox about CA controlling Santa Ana winds and rainfall sticks in my craw.
@A. Marie, I agree with you about "youse" - UGH.
I have a friend from Cleveland who says "anyways" instead of "anyway," and that just grates on my ears!
My doctors(virtually all in the same hospital system) have been asking about alcohol consumption for as long as I can remember. The possible answers they can note have become more nuanced over the years, however. Drinking “socially” means something different to everyone and provides absolutely zero information about actual amounts consumed. They finally realized that and altered the answer options.
@Kate,
absolutely yes. It's a very regular question medically on both the continents that I have lived on. They tend to ask in ''units'' to make it objective.
@Kate, my health questionnaires always have addressed alcohol use. Since Covid, they also seem to screen for potential mental health issues. Questions like: do you have difficulty sleeping? Does worry keep you awake at night? How many times a day do you speak to another person?
@Bee, I get those same mental health type questions on paperwork when i see my primary
@Cheryl, @Bee, I also get those questions and am happy to answer them as health is multidimensional. Within the last couple of years, I've also been asked - in person, within the confines of the exam room - whether I feel safe at home. While I do feel safe, thank goodness, I know that is not always the case for others, so I'm glad there is a way for them to be connected with resources around issues such as domestic abuse.
Agreed!
My hospital and my ob-gyn office both have signs on the inside of the bathroom doors that list some intimate relationship behaviors that are problematic along with info about where it's safe to seek help. I like that there's a list because people in abusive relationships often do not even realize that they're being treated in abusive ways; it's so normalized for them after a while.
@Kate, I enjoy answering that I don't drink on doctor's forms for a long time. I just can't drink because of the medications I'm on. Better living through modern pharmacology! As for the depression screening I was once charged $25 for it while I was at my primary for a physical. Every time now when whoever starts asking the questions I just say I see a psychiatrist and I'm answering questions cause I'm not paying for it!
@Bee, part of that is Medicare - that seems to constitute a large percentage of the annual "wellness" exam. I know a woman who was asked if she was getting enough food. She's always kept her weight down as she has had back issues since her teens.
@Kate, that’s why they have moved to number of drinks per week; other phrasing is too nebulous.
@MB in MN, this question should always, always be asked! Typically is has been reserved for women of lower socioeconomic classes, which is absolutely inappropriate. I know this bias because of what I’ve personally witnessed as a medical provider.
@Selena, I think the intention of the food question has nothing to do with weight, has to do with access to enough food due to economic concerns.
@Kim from Philadelphia,
Yes, exactly. If food insecurity is identified, they can offer community resources and/or social programs (example, area food pantries, Meals on Wheels, etc) that may he available.
I've never heard "you guys" used here - why not just say "we hope to get you out of here when the bloodwork is done" or "do any of you need anything"? The word you can be plural too!
I don’t know! It’s just so common here. I was noticing yesterday in 4th semester school orientation that the professors used it a lot to refer to our cohort (which, predictably, is majority female).
@Joan from Dublin, Ireland, I had a grandmother Joan from Ireland. She passed away long ago, but your handle warmed my heart and made me think of her. Glad you're part of the vast and wonderful FG community 🙂
@Joan from Dublin, Ireland, "You" as a plural pronoun in the US is fading fast. Actually, thinking about it, I'd say it's done and gone. Which is why we're struggling with alternatives such as y'all, you guys, and (gods help us) youse.
@WilliamB, well, y'all/you guys/youse may be struggling--but "y'all" is not only what I was raised with, but a conscious choice for me. To each of us her/his own, of course.
@Joan from Dublin, Ireland, I just had a super random memory of the Babysitters' Club books which I loved as a kid, and were edited for a British audience. They went a little overboard and changed 'you guys' to 'you lot' (because apparently we didn't use 'you guys'/would understand its meaning?)
@Sophie in Denmark, *wouldn't
@WilliamB,
And youse guys, and yins in the Pittsburgh area.
@Vickymac, I lived in the 'burgh for 7 years, I always have had a soft spot for yins, but it gets me funny looks now that I live in the southwest (and where I grew up with you guys in the northeast). I work with teenagers now, so I am transitioning to 'hey chat', which, while moderately hard on my somewhat older sensibilities, does have the advantage of being gender inclusive.
@Vickymac, there are several interesting phraseologies that have come out of the Western PA area (and possibly West to Ohio, Indiana, etc.
“The door needs fixed”
“The meat needs cooked”
My boss at Nordstrom, who was from PA, would say things like, "This shelf needs dusted." and it always sounded weird to me. My brain tells me to put a "to be" in there.
@Kim from Philadelphia,
YES!! I never heard this until I moved to Ohio.
@WilliamB, "gods help us" - LOL!
I only address groups as "guys" when they are children. It feels too casual to me for an adult group. And I rarely--maybe never?-- say "you guys." I just use "you," I think. But I have co-opted the word "y'all" from my southern mother, so that's handy.
I'm sure there are some studies that show negative effects to alcohol consumption, but it seems to me that demonizing a substance that has been in use for thousands of years--well before cancer rates were what they are now--in almost every culture would warrant some more-careful examination before painting with too broad a brush. There must be a quantity issue there. Having a drink--even two!-- is fun! And honestly, I do not think having a drink--even two!--once a week or whatever is going to cause cancer all by itself. I just don't believe it. But that could be the curmudgeon in me. 🙂
@kristin @ going country, I think I agree with you regarding alcohol. When it comes to health studies, I need to remind myself that they cannot possibly take into account every variable. Anecdotal evidence and common sense are fine for me for many "what's healthy for me" questions because I understand how limited (and, let's face it, how corrupt/biased) studies can be.
@kristin @ going country, the "thousands of years" argument doesn't really prove anything. The same can be said of lead as well - in pipes, plates, and more recently paint. People used mercury in green paint and dye, and to felt hats as well, ergo "mad as a hatter."
There are two things I'd say we should keep in mind about historical alcohol consumption. First, in many places and times, mildly alcoholic beverages were safer than the contaminated water. Two, cancer takes a long time to develop and is generally a problem for older people, not young ones. In societies where half of babies died before 5 or living past 50 very rare, cancers didn't have much time to develop, no matter how many carcinogens one was exposed to.
@WilliamB, excellent points
My response from yesterday is still shown as pending. Just posting to see if this goes through.
Good luck on the exam!
Here in south Florida "you guys" is also common. I was walking one evening and saw some friends (a male and female couple) and said, "Hi guys". Another person nearby stopped me and asked about the phrase because it was masculine. He was from a European country and was trying to understand the correct language gender usage. I told him it was just a common phrase here used to greet friends, not really gender specific.
Good Luck on your test!!!!
Grocery shopping -ugh definitely noticed the package skrinkage for sure!.. So frustrating to see the packaging is smaller but the prices increasing.
I work in a preschool so we say FRIENDS all the time.. Imagine entering your patients room and declaring HEY FRIENDS! We are working on getting you out of here soon! lol They would think you are crazy!
@jes, I work with a nurse who uses " friend" all the time ex: your all set friend, do you need anything else? He makes it sound really friendly:)
@jes, The term "friends" as it applies to children in a classroom has not been in use for very many years. I substitute teach, and it boggles my mind when I hear an elementary (never secondary) teacher refer to students as "friends." To say a student is a "friend," IMHO, is putting the kid on the same level as the adult and it undermines the authority of the teacher. As our high school choir teacher used to say, teachers "are not running a democracy here" in the classroom. You obey your teacher; you do not obey a friend. Y'all can call kids in your class "friends" all you want, but I'm sticking to "class" or "students" or children (for younger ages) or -- even better -- the child's name.
@jes,
I don’t recall adults saying “FRIENDS” when I was in school, but my kids’ teachers have always done this. This was kind of hilarious when my kids would come complain about other kids and say things like, “The FRIENDS are being so mean! The FRIENDS stole my ball and knocked me down!”
@jes, I work in an elementary school and hear that word every day. On the walkie we'll hear "I have a friend who needs a break" or "we have a friend in our classroom who's misbehaving." I'm so immersed in my school's culture and lingo that sometimes I don't realize words we use might sound strange to someone else.
I also say, “You guys.” Back when I was in college, I was a server at a restaurant in a wealthy vacation area. I always said, “Hey guy” when waiting in people. One time it was a group of four ladies and boy did they chew me out when I said that! They hollered and demanded to see the manager. All because I said “you guys” and they were all ladies. It scarred me. Over 20 years later and I’m still thinking about it. Lol
@Jc, that does sound traumatic and I can understand why you still think about it. When a server asks, "Are you guys still working on that?" I'm not offended by "you guys" but I am annoyed with the idea that food is something to be worked on.
@Jc, I would not have been offended one iota. For some reason, officials of women's sports are into "ladies". Over the years, I replied there are no ladies on the field. And there weren't. Play to win or don't play at all.
@MB in MN, I absolutely cannot stand when waitstaff asks me if “I’m still working on that”
Terrible phraseology.
Also, it’s terribly impolite to clear part of the parties plates before everyone at the table is finished, yet it’s done all the time!!
Honestly, I have zero desire to ever be around people offended by phrases such as that. There is no malice, there is no offense, and someone chooses to be offended by that, that says more on them than the person saying it. I just don't get the whole let's be offended over everything status a lot of people have these days.
I feel like the alcohol question has been on everything my whole adult life. I filled out dental forms yesterday and it was a question on it too.
@Jess, I'm not really offended by "you guys", it's more that it feels grammatically clunky to me. Kind of like "these ones" 😉 I'm never offended by it.
@Jess,
100 percent agree with your whole first point!!!
@Jess, and vision in my area.
I've noticed some prices going up--butter is more expensive, for example. We've just been focused on making meals that use the most economical ingredients. Surprisingly, our homemade pizzas are among the most economical things we make. Nobody uses a pound of ground beef on a pizza, so it's a good way to stretch meats. (Some of the boys do load up on cheese, though!). Because we try to go low-sodium, I make our sauce from no salt added crushed tomatoes, which are less expensive than the fancy low-sodium ready-made sauces.
I also gave up on buying gluten free breads, as they are just a) super expensive for what you get and b) not very nutritious for the money. I build meals around things like potatoes or corn tortillas. And just switching from chips and snacks to homemade popcorn (or sometimes microwave popcorn) is better and cheaper.
I am not surprised at all that alcohol is being recognized as a greater health concern. My grandfather was diagnosed with prostate cancer back in the early nineties. With treatment he got another four years, but he was convinced that it was "all that beer" (he had an alcohol problem and gave up drinking when I was about five) that had caused his cancer. I did some social drinking in college and grad school, but never really liked it much--the effect it had on my body--and gave it up my second year of grad school.
Regarding "you guys"---I say it a lot here at home, but that is because I'm the only female in the household! 😀 However, for whatever reason I tend to not say it to mixed groups. I usually say "everyone" or something like that. I cannot bring myself to say "y'all" as I was raised in the far North. When my brother went off to college, he came back saying "y'all" and it just grated on my ears. He claimed his roommate from Pennsylvania said it, so it wasn't a Southern thing, and that it was more inclusive than "you guys". It just sounded so wrong with a Northern Ohio accent, though!
When we drive South the boys always say they know they're not in Yankee territory when we pass the water tower in Florence, KY: It says "Florence, y'all"
@Karen A., I know that water tower well!
Good luck this morning, Kristen! You have already stacked the odds in your favor.
I hear “you guys” all the time but don’t care for it. Simple “you” will do, or my name, or something that reminds me less of gum chewing. Don’t know why!
We have temps at 7 below zero this morning. Schools closed for the third day in a row!
@Kristina, yes, "gum chewing" . . . seems unrefined, a little tone-deaf when applied to any and all situations and groups, tacky. . . Here it feels cheerful, friendly and informal, but it will never come naturally to me.
@Central Calif. Artist Jana, just like “y-all” will never pass through my lips! Would never be natural to me.
When I say it, I always feel like I'm trying to be a fake southerner...like an imposter!
I was an east coast girl for the first several years of my life, and then my family moved into a solid y’all zone. I retained the “you guys” habit. It doesn’t bother me at all! Didn’t “The Electric Company” start with “HEY YOU GUYS”??
@Ann on the farm, I forgot about Electric Company! Thanks for bringing up that memory. It used to be a favorite show of mine.
@Beth B., now the intro song is stuck in my head!
@Ann on the farm, YES! And I always hear them in my head when someone says it!
@Ann on the farm,
Yep! Song in my head too!
How about Sloth in the Goonies? That was his phrase as well.
@Ann on the farm, it did- loved that show!!
Based on your excellent track record of preparation for your previous exams, I feel confident you’ll excel on today’s test as well. I do understand being nervous about it though. Take deep breaths.
I use “guys” a lot esp when talking with my sisters.
My husband and I drink water ,coffee or tea for beverages. He does enjoy about 2 ounces of wine most evenings. I’ve never liked the taste of alcohol.
It bothers me that my phone seems to hear my conversations. Sometimes I get email ads for products I would never consider buying or about health issues I’ve never experienced but perhaps had mentioned in conversation with someone. It’s mysterious and often scary.
@Martha O.,
Is is a telephone setting you can adjust, and one you can check for apps you use - games, communication apps and browsers.
Never just accept the conditions. If they are too long to read through and too complicated to comprehend, that may not be app, social media, browser, game you want to use.
@Martha O., home appliances can also listen to your conversations. My co-worker had it start when she got a network connected thermostat. Scary!
@Book Club Elaine, and people wonder why I refuse to download apps on my phone. Privacy is tough these days.
Re grocery prices: my husband buys large quantities of food for our church’s annual food distribution to those in need at Christmas. He buys the same quantities of the same brands from the same store each year and keeps a record in a spreadsheet. He was surprised to find this year that the increase (which he expected to be high) was less than $5 on $2500 worth of food! The items he buys are mostly staples, no fresh produce or perishables (gift cards for individual purchase of those items are given). Produce seems to be more expensive, but we grow most of ours so I can’t really speak to that.
Go Kristen go, re your math test, you've got this! I have no doubt that you'll pass.
Re alcohol. I do not drink, I have stopped it completely, even though my alcohol consumption was minimal at best. My reason is that for some reason I get horrible digestive issues if I have even a teeny bit of alcohol; it seems to ferment in my intestines when eaten with certain foods which I haven't figured out yet; the bloating and stomach cramps are unreal, very unpleasant. I'd be interested to know if this is a "thing" or whether this is specific to me only, very curious.
My other comment re alcohol is that my HB's family, all the nieces and nephews, drink quite a lot. I wouldn't dare say anything about alcohol being a carcinogen as that would not go over well at all, it's bad enough that I get taunted for not drinking but I try to just let the comments slide off my back. It seems in general that I get questionable comments when I decline to drink.
@Linda in Canada, I find it interesting that someone not drinking in a group suddenly becomes everyone's business. Why is it anyone's concern?
My husband does not drink, and he is usually the only one at his office not drinking, unless one of his female co-workers is expecting. His co-workers have accepted it though, and not made it their business to try to get him to drink.
@Linda in Canada, In my experience it's the people who are most dependent on alcohol who are the most bothered by those who choose not to drink. I saw this in grad school, when I stopped drinking. Most of my social group was just fine with it, but the one student who was a very heavy drinker (and would get pretty volatile when he did drink) was upset.
@Karen A., this has also been my experience. Those who want to imbibe guilt-free somehow feel judged or threatened by those who do not want to imbibe. Our very presence seems to be insulting to heavy drinkers. It used to really bug me to get judged as judgmental, when they were judging me, not the reverse.
I have had this experience as well, which is so interesting. If a person doesn't want to smoke, for instance, it would be crazy to say something like, "But have you tried this brand of cigarettes? They're really good."
But multiple times when I have declined a drink, people will be like, "Ohhh, but you should try this mixed drink or that one." and I always am thinking, why? If someone said they don't like sweets, I would certainly not try to get them to eat one. Sweets aren't good for you, and if someone has a natural aversion to sweets, I support that (and I am a little jealous because I wish I didn't like cookies!)
@Tammy, I find that in my in law's family too. When I was younger, I would make a mocktail just to stop the questions and make them more comfortable.
That said, the wine consumption on my side is increasing. I wonder if there's an app or something to help me and my friends slow down?
I'm francophone so I don't use ''you guys'' in my day-to-day life, but I work in an anglophone environment and will use it there sometimes. I don't care if it offends someone, honestly. I'm so over all this over-sensitivity
I’ve recently learned I say “boughten” instead of “bought” sometimes. My editor friend said to me, “I’m so glad you say ‘boughten’ too, I know it’s not right but I can’t train myself not too.” I didn’t even realize!!
I’ve been asked about alcohol consumption at my doctor’s appointments for years now. I’m always afraid they think I’m lying when I say less than 1-2 drinks a month. (I heard that doctors think people underreport their numbers). Sometimes I like to try new wine on vacation or holidays, but it’s too expensive to regularly consume.
With tariffs likely impending, I anticipate we might need to tighten the purse strings further to still achieve our goals. I’m not giving up my Diet Coke yet though. Small luxuries, right?
I’ve been listening to the podcast The Sleepy Bookshelf read Pride and Prejudice to fall asleep while my husband’s traveling for work (I’m day 5 into 15, I’m not having a good time.) it’s very relaxing!
@Andrea G / Midwest Andrea, my thoughts are with you while your DH is gone.
@Andrea G / Midwest Andrea, I seem to remember that "boughten" comes from so-called Pennsylvania Dutch (i.e., the Amish, Mennonites, and other groups there). But stop me if I'm wrong, somebody.
@Andrea G / Midwest Andrea,
I grew up hearing "store bought cookies, bread, etc" or boughten bread from my grandparents. I live in eastern Canada
@A. Marie, we say it, too, in the area of SE Ohio where I grew up. I saw it once in a “Little House on the Prairie” book, too. I don’t remember which one, though. I lived in Pittsburgh for several years where “yinz” is our plural. I still catch myself saying it. Maybe a form of you ones?!?!
@Diane, We have relatives in the Pittsburgh area and one cousin calls the area Yinzer Nation because many people use yinz for you all.
@ErikaJS, Yes!! 100% Yinzer Nation
@Andrea G / Midwest Andrea, I tend to agree with doctors who say that people underreport their numbers. I think some people report what they would like to be the truth as it can be hard to acknowledge the truth. When I was admitted to the emergency room for what I was convinced was a heart attack (not), I was asked about alcohol use. I answered honestly that I was a light-to-moderate drinker (this was before I quit alcohol due to headaches). The doctor said he appreciated my honesty and that he would have people who were clearly drunk say they do not drink any alcohol. I found that rather fascinating as well as scary.
@MB in MN, did they do a BAC test despite your answer and without your consent?
@Selena, no.
The "how much alcohol do you drink" question has been asked on every doctor's intake form here for as long as I can remember. Interesting that Kristen is just starting to see it in her part of the country.
The phrase "you guys" does not bother me but being an old Southern woman, I use y'all instead. I just wish my text autocorrect feature would spell it the way I want: y'all vs ya'll. haha
"Hey you guys!" is burned into the brains of many people thanks to the Electric Company.
As for inflation, yes it sucks and it's meant that I just don't eat some of the things I used to (or not as often.) It's probably a good thing for some but depressing for others. The biggest wins for me at least was that I got myself into a position where inflation wasn't hitting me as badly. I buy in bulk, avoid luxuries, sell things I don't want or need but most of all, I bought my house and paid it off. No mortgage, no car payments and no debt of any kind is the real safety net I have achieved. Your rent can skyrocket tomorrow (or worse, you can be evicted) but I am at least here to stay.
@Battra92, I agree that getting completely debt-free is a great comfort. That's where I am now. I pay off my credit cards in full each month and will do whatever is needed not to take on any more debt.
@Battra92, kudos on the safety net that you have built for you and your family!
Re: You guys-- I think we would all be a little happier in life if we didn't look for offense when only kindness is meant.
@Jody S., Yes!
@Jody S., AMEN!!
@Jody S.,
I agree. And I also do try to see the other's point of view. I try not to be offensive and if someone does find something offensive I try very hard to change my behavior, even if I personally think differently.
Good luck on your math exam, Kristen! It sounds stressful. I'm sure you will ace it
Where I grew up in Michigan in the 1970s/1980s, the phrase " youse guys" was fairly common. I never liked it but I do say "you guys." It's a handy phrase for many situations.
I haven't touched alcohol since 2003, and I have never smoked regular cigarettes or pot. My parents were non-smokers as well and have had good longevity. I'm hoping for the same. My doctor's have been asked about smoking and alcohol use for several years.
Most of the time I just say you. For example, “What would you like to do?”. I was raised by proper parents that were transplants to the South. However, most of my friends use the term y’all or all y’all. This is getting less prevalent as people from all over the world are moving to Florida.
The NPR article is interesting, but not entirely accurate. Although it gives a snapshot of what has happened to food prices in one little corner of the world, I wouldn’t consider it representative of what has occurred since 2020.
If we look at government data on the cost of food, we can see that has increased by an average of 28% over the last 5 years outpacing core inflation.** Some economists think that these figures are actually understated.
However, this alone is not truly representative of the inflationary pressures that have impacted American families.
Personally, my living expenses have increased by approximately 30% - 35% without any change in my standard of living. I have seen little decrease in the price of the things I eat on a regular basis. However, I am no longer shocked by the prices increases either. I did put back a leek the other day that rang up at $8.99.
Overall, I would say my food costs have doubled since 2020. Fortunately, I only have to feed my husband and me. I know people with teenage boys who spend as much on food during the month as they do on their mortgage.
Although I was never wasteful, I am extra careful now and rarely eat out.
There is a good article in Nerd Wallet about food costs. This is the link if anyone is interested. https://www.nerdwallet.com/article/finance/price-of-food#:~:text=The%20CPI%2C%20which%20serves%20as,%2Dover%2Dyear%20in%20December.
I hope everyone stays warm and safe.
** The core inflation rate aka the Consumer Price Index (CPI) that is often utilized by banks and government officials does not include food and energy.
@Bee, well, to quote the line I've quoted so often that Julia Child probably never said, you did not "take a leek"!
But seriously, I'm not as concerned by rises in food/other grocery prices as I am by rises in the costs of various types of insurance. I know this is a real concern for you in FL, Bee--and after the wildfires, certain areas of CA may simply be uninsurable.
@A. Marie,
Property and casualty insurance is in need of an overhaul for certain. Rates in Florida are the highest in the country. They have increased 400% since 2020. This increase has resulted in higher operating costs for businesses and this expense is then passed on to consumers. This is partially why my life has gotten so expensive.
I am afraid that the fires in California and Hurricane Helene will impact rates not only in those states directly affected, but throughout the country as insurers start looking at their exposure to risk and maximum probable losses. States may also need to regulate insurance companies more closely.
In Florida, there has also been a lot of focus on mitigating losses from natural disasters. Building codes now dictate how one’s roof is constructed, the type of windows put in houses, even garage doors. This may need to come into focus in other parts of the country as well.
@A. Marie, many areas of California already can only get the state’s fire insurance of last resort (the Fair Plan) which as I understand it does not cover you as well. We didn’t have to do that but we did have to ask our neighbor to let us cut down his “hedge” of very tall narrow trees that would hit the 2nd story room of our house. He’s very nice and said sure thankfully. It is a real problem. We are in a moderate to low wildfire location and it still was an issue when we bought this house 2 years ago.
@Bee, which are just dealing with the symptoms, not the root cause. My area has had fairly stringent building codes (which sad to say, some developers paid their way out of). Too many areas had few to none.
I grew up around y’all and you guys and found youse guys colorful when I first heard it.
I always want to drink because I think the bottles are pretty and because the social aspect portrayed in media seems interesting. But I will nurse a drink until I can ditch it without comments. My gagging and twisted facial gestures are never appreciated when I try to drink. There are studies that link moderate alcohol consumption with longevity so I recon it’s a choose which medical science you like and go with that. Or just wait a bit and perhaps a new study you like even better will come out.
As far as grocery prices over the years how many I feed and what I buy have changed a lot so it’s hard to pin it down but mostly my food costs more.
Miffed at being targeted as old in a youth obsessed society. Can seniors take umbrage at your pique? Oh well. I don’t like having to pretend a trout mouth looks ok
Speaking of mouths what is the best chapstick, gloss, oil? I am always searching for something that works well.
@Tiana, My favourite chapstick is "Nova Scotia Fishermen Xtreme Lip Care," but I'm in Canada. novascotiafisherman.com is the website. It's green (due to sea kelp) and seems gross, but it sure works! One time I had "inflamed" lips and no idea why, but my friend commented that "that lipstick looks good on you" when I wasn't wearing any. The other chapsticks didn't help, only this one. I've never looked back...
@Ingrid, thank you! I’ve never heard of the product but will be looking for it!
@Tiana, I just use plain Aquaphor (comes in a large tub, or small jars--I bought a small jar or two a while back and just refill from the large tub). Lasts forever, and has no waxy feel to it. I've found the chapsticks that have peppermint in them, like Burt's Bees, irritate my lips and make them drier. They smell nice, though!
@Tiana,
I love Burt's Bees Beeswax Lip Balm with Vitamin E & Peppermint. So soothing and comforting and not that expensive if you buy the four pack. And it lasts a long time.
@Tiana, my favorite is Salt Range Himalayan Pink Salt Moisturizing Lip Balm with cherry and shea butter.
@Book Club Elaine, Tamara,Karen!
Thanks I have a bunch to try now!
@Tamara in Illinois, Burt's is quite popular here in IL.
@Tiana, Aquaphor is the best. It sits in your lips so pleasantly and lasts for hours or all night as I use it at bedtime too. And it does also come in a small tube for putting in purses and pockets.
My phrase that I hate (usually happens at work) is "Hey Team." It normally only bugs me if it is coming from someone outside my department. I would rather them just start with a generic "Hello" or "Hi (insert department name here)"
You guys doesn't bother me a bit. 🙂
Wait till you get put on the AARP mailing list. News flash .... you won't yet be fifty years old.
Hopefully all medical facilities are also asking about drug consumption (especially now that marijuana has been legalized in many states).
I didn't know that alcohol was carcinogenic, thanks for sharing. I don't Not Drink, but in practice I don't drink. The question isn't new to me; either my docs were more thorough than most or maybe it's a regional variation.
Have you workshopped some responses to those unpleasant questions yet? Seems like it'd be a good idea to have prepared. I don't think that "quelling with a dark stare" is really your style but, as you say, the situation is going to arise repeatedly.
I'm looking forward to a day with my father and my nibling. He's coming into town, so we'll take the kiddo to a suburban restaurant she can't get to (no car) and whatever shopping she needs or I want to show her.
What's unfortunate about this timing is it means I can't attend the classes I signed up for at the Virtual Maryland Sheep and Wool Festival. They'll be recorded so my fees won't be wasted, at least. I'm looking forward to the classes. It's rare for me to find anything new in a knitting class yet this time I found three. Yay!
@WilliamB, The drink question isn’t new in my area either. When it began, maybe 5-8 years ago (?) I struggled to explain: "Well, I have a drink at Christmas with family, a toast at weddings, nothing at home or otherwise regularly."
One nurse listened to my speech, gave me a look and said, "I’ll just put down 0 then."
@ErikaJS, this reminds me of when my doctor asked if I ever smoked. I said "Yes, in high school." He replied, "That's not smoking, that's rebellion." True!
@WilliamB, I had no idea there was a winter, much less virtual MD sheep and wool festival. I love the one in May. I always learn so much here.
Hope you do well on your exam!!
I am combatting inflation by doing a fair bit of shopping at a local discount grocery store. I get high end groceries for far less than the generic counterparts. I just watch the dates carefully.
I have been asked the alcohol question at the doctor's office for many years now. Maybe it's just the health care system I'm in? I do not drink, and I never have, and I really do not care for the way my answer is recorded. Under smoke/vape, the answer is: "none". Under alcohol consumption, it is always: "reported none". I do suppose people would tend to lie over alcohol consumption more so than smoking, but I still do not appreciate that I am not fully believed. {I am 48 years old and the way I figure drinking at this point is, why start?}
Over 10 years ago when I was screened for life insurance, when they came to the part about alcohol and I said none, it triggered a series of questions trying to trap me into saying I actually did drink. The nurse who did my bloodwork said that by saying I had never consumed alcohol the system then assumed I was covering up alcoholism, because "everyone drinks".
@Tammy, See, this is why I give a detailed explanation. I figured that saying, no none at all, would sound impossible (why did I think that?) and since I do have a drink at special occasions, it’s the truth.
@Tammy, Here is a comment on one of my medical records that still annoys me a decade later. We had Irish wolfhounds then, and one of them clocked me square on the bridge of the nose and I ended up with two black eyes. I went to the doctor two days later because of a nose bleed that would not stop and I was asked if my husband had hit me in the face, because "a dog would not do that much damage." (Obviously the person had never had a dog that stood up at over 6 feet and weighed 200 pounds.) I later saw that they had put in my record that "patient denies her husband hit her."
@Tammy, which is why you leave the question unanswered or reply decline to answer. And remember, you can send a letter disputing any medical notes in your file. As well as file a complaint with your state's department of insurance - caveat YMMV because some states may as well not even have a department of insurance.
@Lindsey, see my response to Tammy.
Since you're nearing 50, AARP will soon be inundating you with snail mail and email full of terrifying listicles about far more than undertakers.
I don’t worry about people being over sensitive for the simple reason that I don’t care about that. What I care about is how I treat people. When I feel annoyed, I ask myself: Do I prioritize my habit of speech or their expressed preference?
To me the following are all neutral expressions of preference that I will follow to the best of my ability to remember because being kind to others is important to me:
* “I go by my middle name now Auntie, so please call me John”
* “My pronouns are he/they”
* “Please don’t call me guy”
None of these requests reflect on or bother me.
On "you guys" - it does not offend me, but several years ago I worked in a place where there was a lot of sensitivity to gender inclusivity. I found using "folks," "all" and "everyone" to work well and I continue that practice to this day. It's an easy thing for me to do to be inclusive. "Hey folks" seemed to work well for casual greetings.
I do like "y'all" but tend to get funny looks when it's said here in the Upper Midwest 🙂
My doctor has asked the alcohol question for a while. And once you hit a certain age they also start asking if you own a gun.
Doctors started asking me about alcohol consumption in 2000. As I very rarely drink -- the calories versus enjoyment ratio is not favorable for shortypants me -- I am in the "less than one drink a month" category.
Drinking and smoking led to the early deaths of my husband's entire family. Society between the end of WWII and the 1990s had Mad Men-esque consumption culture. It's kind of boomeranged the other way, in that I see entirely too many doctors these days who want to treat stuff with supplements and meditation. I'm here for the middle ground, please.
Pulling for you, Kristen, and I know you will do well in your exam….but, oh the squirming involved in waiting. We all know it so it will be fun to hear from you tomorrow.
Our DS2 relocated to Austin a couple of years ago for a career move. He soon adopted "y'all" and explained that he found it very tidy. He had been a "you guys" person just like the rest of us. He has a point.
I have a general question that has been niggling at me since you briefly mentioned the item. How do you use your grain grinder, if that’s what it’s called? I’d love to hear more about this since grains are a bit lacking in my diet versus the ubiquitous starches. Many thanks.
I wonder if "You guys" is a regional thing. I live in NWPA and everyone says it. So...
On grocery inflation, I have tracked my spending since 2017. Although my spending has only increased $50 over that time. There are things I used to buy I no longer buy and olive oil is fast becoming one of those. Some I miss, but I would rather change my eating happens. I wonder how many others are like this.
One of those eating and drinking changes include reducing Dr Pepper consumption. Water with lime or lemon doesn't taste the same, but paying 12.99 for a 12 pack of soda pop is not going to happen in my house.
Lastly, I do drink alcohol but only about 5 times a year. So that question is hard to define.
Like William B I don't not drink, but rarely do drink. While I like the taste of some beverages, I do not care enough for them to drink alcohol and take on the empty calories and health hazard. For white wine and cava I have found very tasteful alternatives, that I drink at festive occasions. Anyway, hot water with nothing in it is my beverage of choice most of the time.
With regards to being addressed by medical and other staff, business neutral is my preferred style unless they are people I speak to at a regular basis and know well. Anything chummy feels inapropriate to me, the more so as I grow older.
Sadly I notice too often that elderly people are being talked down to. It is embarassing and infuriating to see a friend being treated like an incompetent big child, just because they cannot walk or hear well.
@JNL, interesting! I feel more at ease if medical staff are 'chummy' because I'm usually feeling anxious. I don't feel talked down to.
Y'all is so useful I kept it in my vocabulary after I graduated from the Southern college where I had learned it. My family in northern New England found it hilarious. (Also, variations including "All y'all.")
@Jenny, "y'all" is for any number of people greater than one. "All y'all," I believe, is for a crowd. But, again, stop me if I'm wrong, someone.
@A. Marie, yes —-all of y’all is a real crowd! As a born and raised Texan for the first 24 years of my life, and Californian for the past 21 years, my 3 kids all say y’all. It’s the best way to speak to/about a group in my opinion 🙂
Wasn't it not very long ago that a glass of wine daily was touted as being good for us?
I know very many folks of Italian heritage whose everyday diet contains wine, sometimes,homemade.
@Pat, that describes my late MIL and her sisters.
The question about alcohol has been one my doctors have asked since I became an adult (at least as far as I can remember). What made me laugh a little was when they asked about it at my first prenatal visit for this pregnancy. I was a little surprised/concerned that it even came up. The medical assistant went on to ask specifically about my habits pre-pregnancy.
1. I might try that oat recipe but cut the sugar in half, leave out the milk, add nuts, maybe a tablespoon or two of flour, some cinnamon, and see if it can be formed into bars. (A recipe is just a guide in my sloppy world of food prep.)
2. Your readers had no idea in 2018 what it was that led you to write those posts about tough times. You have done an excellent job of keeping private things private, but not so vague that your readers cannot relate.
3. The cancer/alcohol link is news to me. So glad I have never taken up the habit for many reasons; now I have one more to add to my list of Why I Don't Drink.
4. Excellent point about not getting too distracted by "you guys" when there are many larger sexist problems to deal with. (Ugh, "bed bath" remarks. . . one more reason on my list of Why I Would Never Want to be a Nurse)
5. I might have still been in my 40s when I started getting solicitations for AARP. Shut up and go away!! (Still gets up my nose to think about it).
Now I will go check those roasted red peppers to see if the skin is peel-able yet, so that I can make some red pepper/basil mayo. THANK YOU for the recipes!
P.S. Is it possible when you put links in your posts to have them open in a new tab rather than move us off your blog? WordPress changed how to do that awhile ago and I had to search for the new method. . . I wonder if there is a way for you to do this.
@Central Calif. Artist Jana, Yes to #2! I so respect the way that Kristen has shared authentically with us without spilling her guts for the whole internet. Especially during very difficult situations. That is a rare thing and should be honored.
@Central Calif. Artist Jana, I believe that controlled as much by your browser options as by WordPress. I use the "long click" method: click on the link and stay clicked (keep pushing down), and a dropdown appears with options such as "open in new tab".
Also, you can just do "control+click" and that opens in a new tab in Windows!
I have links set to open in-window because there are keyboard shortcuts to make things open in a new tab, but no shortcut that I know of to make them open in the same tab. Which is why I've read this is best practice!
Different forms of address I've heard/read:
1. My 5th grade teacher used to address us as "you people" and it seemed to come out in a bit of an exasperated snarl.
2. Pat Conroy (great southern writer) had a character (a Marine father in The Great Santini, I think) who addressed his kids as "sportsfans", which tickled my funnybone.
3. The first preacher who ever held my attention (when I was a sophomore in high school) impressed me greatly by calling the high school audience "men and women".
4. When I need to get a group's attention, I say, "Hey everybody!"
5. If you ever want people to be quiet in a crowd, just say, "Who would like to open us in prayer?" Instant silence. (makes me laugh to even write this)
@Central Calif. Artist Jana, on a few occasions when high school kids have been getting unruly in the middle of my street (which, thanks to the brick steps at the end of the cul-de-sac, is a conduit from the nearby high school for about 20% of them), I've found I can usually break it up by strolling out and beginning, "Ladies and gentlemen..." This generally cracks them up so much that it short-circuits the fighting. But I'll keep your #5 in mind.
I'm enjoying the conversation about "y'all" vs. "you guys". I've lived in the South all my life and most people here say "y'all" but I had it drilled into me as a child that it wasn't proper grammar. I also grew up around a lot of families that had moved here from up North and never said "y'all" so it just didn't become part of my everyday vocabulary. I use "you guys" all the time with family, although I wouldn't normally say it to others because I know some people don't like it.
Most people say y’all here. But some people do say “you guys.” My husband’s family in the Midwest says “You’ins” I don’t know how to best transcribe that.
Alcohol- unfortunately I love the taste of beer and wine. I never get drunk or even have multiple drinks, but I still worry about relying on alcohol to deal with stress. It is far too easy to fall into that pattern. We have recently been trying nonalcoholic beer as a way to get the taste without the alcohol.
Sorry to hear about creepy people at work! When this happens, I always wonder if this strategy ever works for this person. I just can’t imagine any nurse going for that.
A prosecutor I know was running for office and it came out that he had texted a domestic violence victim after seeing her testify asking her for a date. I just can’t imagine that working! And it didn’t! She shut him down immediately and reported it.
Tressie McMillan Cottom wrote a recent article on alcohol consumption and how it's becoming a new focus out of more politically motivated reasons that I don't think I could do justice to summarize.
Though I have always seen it on forms I've filled in for years, usually about consumption per day/week/month of beer/wine/spirits.
@Jadie, and pretty much these days for one "party", add religion trying to run everyone's life.
I have the same issue with “you guys.” I don’t even think about it when I use it but I see that younger generations are bothered by it so I’ve been trying to use Folks instead.
Also, for some unknown reason, I started receiving AARP mailings in my late 20s. So don’t take it personally. There’s probably some unrelated purchase that you made that made that triggered it.
Being from the North originally, I say "you guys" and find it a term of endearment, actually. For many years I taught in Houston--a definite y'all town. The 9th graders were allowed to do impersonations of their teachers for a fundraiser so long as they were in good taste. They were easily within the realm of good taste, but when they impersonated me, they were unable to abandon the " y'all,"as they gently mocked my funny-to-them "guys." So, they began their impersonation with "Y'all guys!"
As a child and even later when unsure if the several people I was addressing would realize I meant not one of them, but all of them, I said "You plural." "Could you plural please be a little quieter?" Maybe I knew at age ten I was destined to be a language arts teacher.
Like guns, alcohol should never have been invented.
My niece is a cute, young, female nurse and one of her coworkers was a male homosexual nurse. When they had male patients asking for a bed bath or needing a catheter when they knew it wasn't a medical need, they would just say, "Sure!" and then send Ryan in. All the nurses, including Ryan, thoroughly enjoyed the fast backtracking done by the patients.
@Carla, three cheers for Ryan!
I did not know that 'you guys' offended anyone but I should not be surprised. Isn't everything offensive to someone somewhere? I use it all the time. Sometimes I just say "people" ...'Do you people need anything?" and I don't even know why or when I started doing that. But it feels a little more rude to me.
Ahahahahaaaaa about that magazine! I'm only laughing because I've had this very same experience as you. For me, it happened (many years ago) the year that I turned 30!! For some reason, AARP sent me membership information and stuff that year. It was so weird. But it all definitely got into my head for a hot minute, I have to say! LOL
you know you got this. y ou have been teaching math for how long? you take tests well.
i look forward to seeing that you aced it. i don't mind the phrase you guys. but i had a coworker who hated it. never knew why. good luck. don't fret.
Being Pittsburgh based, 'yinz' is the go to for mixed gender groups, but I'm partial to y'all or all y'all
I work in healthcare. In regards to creepy comments, I tend to respond very directly to the patient. In a neutral voice, "Those comments make me uncomfortable. I realize patients receiving care can feel uncomfortable; they might feel out of power, vulnerable, or scared. I'm willing to believe you're just trying to lighten the mood, but those comments don't belong here."
Depending on how patient takes it will determine how we proceed.
@Ma Honey,
My approach as an airport screener when someone was harassing me was to pretend hard of hearing and to ask to repeat louder. Most bullies stop at that point. If not then i ask them to repeat in a louder voice a second time. What began as them trying to embarrass me ended with them embarrassing themselves Laughing at them also works
I think I use “everybody,” but that might be because I grew up with neighbors who said, “youse guys” and that never seemed quite right to me.
Alcohol recommendations are a funny one for me. I love a glass of wine or a craft beer (cocktails are too sugary for me) and it is truly a treat for me. I hardly ever eat processed food or sweets, so it’s my only “vice.” After the recommendations to drink close to no alcohol came out, I talked to my doctor about it and he was able to help me look at the big picture, yes he was supposed to tell me not to drink at all, but I also don’t smoke, or eat red meat, or eat processed foods, or extra sugar, and I exercise and strength train and sleep great, so if I enjoy a glass of wine with my fish and vegetables, maybe not terrible.
I think this is similar to frugality and minimalism in a sense. Unless you are really struggling to get to the end of the week, you can save mostly, but also spend on something that is important to you or that makes you really happy, just not all the things. If you are doing 95% of the healthy things, you can have that glass of wine or the nightly scoop of ice cream, just not both.
As a senior citizen, I can't believe that Ask the Undertaker luncheon is serious. It sounds like something in a comedy routine! Last night DH and I went to a local restaurant to make use of a generous gift card and I celebrated by ordering a glass of wine. When the waitress told me she had to ask for my ID, I wanted to KISS her!
I find I’m now also routinely asked about recreational drug use- which is good! Also glad I’m asked about alcohol intake.
When my girls were little, they went next door to invite the neighbor boys to come over to play. This is how they asked: "Do you guys want to come play with us guys?" So we are definitely on the "guys" team.
Any and all information you volunteer (and some that you don't) can haunt you for life. I provide no health information on any living blood relatives. Have provided minimal for a few that died. I've been skipping all the forms re: mental health they want me to fill out pre-visit. This time the office got the hint. All too often, the focus is on a "number" that didn't move in the right direction, no focus on "numbers" that did.
There is a difference in being alive versus having a life, quality of life.
I'll get vaccinated against communicable diseases (and consent to a blood draw to prove my mother's notes were correct - I had measles). The other barbaric, degrading, and demeaning tests, hard pass as well as the one that is much higher risk when you are female (all those parts).
And it isn't just alcohol - questions on other recreational substances are quite common.
Kristen,
By the time you get this - that test will be long over - but I am rooting for you!
Also something to add to the frugal grocery habits: I have a sneaking suspicion that growing ones own herbs, at least, is more economical than buying them at the store and probably eliminates food waste. Those little plastic containers of fresh herbs always seem so expensive, and some herbs go bad so quickly once bought. But admittedly I have not done a cost analysis for the pots, soil, water, time commitment, etc.
I experienced some discriminatory practices from our investment company today. I am joint trustee on an account. The male trustee has full access. I only have access if they get the male trustee on the phone to give "permission". When he called them out on it they backpedaled and said it was a glitch. Convenient that the glitch gave the male trustee full access! I have written a paper letter to the managing director and the general counsel.
Anyway, it got me thinking out the "You guys" that we've been talking about here. It doesn't bother me, and I suspect I use it from time to time (not much though). In my generation it was accepted as neutral (I think). But many things we took as neutral really were not. And we either didn't see it or didn't care. I'm 51 and I know my generation stood up for things that my mother's generation did not bat an eyelid at. And I see my kids generation (mine are mid 20's to 30) standing up for things that my generation did not. I think that's good. So if they feel that "You guys" isn't ok then I will respect that.
@Kara, agreed. I don't feel very offended by 'you guys', but I do think there's a larger conversation to be had about how male-centric our language and society is.
Just a perspective on cancer prevention & alcohol, which is a bit of a sore subject right now.
My dad was recently diagnosed with a (thankfully slow-growing & treatable) form of throat cancer.
This man has never smoked a day in his life, though of course as an office worker in the 1970s & 80s, he was probably exposed to secondhand smoke. (Not in bars/restaurants though - he HATES even the smell of smoke.)
He drank alcohol only rarely (never been drunk) & quit drinking entirely when I was a kid due to gout.
He’s also been treated for prostate cancer.
His heavy-smoking & -drinking siblings? One sister had breast cancer (caught & treated early), the other 6, completely cancer-free.
While I don’t think people should justify heavy drinking with “it’s only a slight increase in cancer risk!” the reality is that cancer risks are NOT that well-understood, and are likely tied to environmental & genetic concerns much more strongly than anything we do individually, with a few exceptions like smoking (though you can still get lung cancer even if you’ve never smoked!) and controlling UV exposure.
I wish we as a society focused more on reducing environmental risks of cancer (like pervasive plastic & hormones in our food) & reducing costs of healthcare & treatment instead of pushing the idea that health is solely based on individual behavior.
Aww, I am so sorry that your dad has cancer, and I'm glad it's treatable.
I agree that cancer causation is a whole web of things that we don't understand fully. I also agree that it would be good for people in charge to focus on measures that would help the population as a whole.
For me personally, I figure that if I can avoid something that seems to be a cause of cancer, I will do that. Will living this way guarantee I won't have cancer? Definitely not! But I'd rather err on the side of caution with this if I can, and given all the other non-cancer-related issues that seem to be related to alcohol consumption (even at low levels of consumption) I'd rather not risk it. And for me this is a simple decision because I don't even like alcohol.
If I'm gonna consume something that is, at bare minimum, questionable for my health, I'd like it to be something I really enjoy!
My abstention from alcohol is also because I don't like the way I feel when I try drinking it, and I have not enjoyed being around people who are drinking, even moderately. Something changes, it feels like I am no longer talking to the person I know, and it makes me kinda sad. I just really like being sober! And I like to hang out with people who are sober. 🙂
I'm pretty sure I'm in the minority of American adults here, but it is what it is.
I can't remember ever NOT saying "you guys." Nothing offensive about it. It puzzles me when people complain about it. It's an idiom; get over it.
On a semi-related note, I've never been a fan of the word "gal/gals." I have no rationale for this. I just don't like it. At all. Something about it seems condescending to me. I don't know. I'm probably just weird.
Hi Kristin. In the past year I have been ever more aware of my health (I am 53). I have high blood pressure and was getting ever nearer to going from an "overweight" BMI to "obese." Add that to stress, poor sleep, joint issues and a family history of cancers and stroke and it became clear that I had to take measures.
Part of this (so far successful) change in lifestyle was taking a good look and our family's eating habits. The most obviously troubling thing was our continual snacking habits - and I am not talking apples and cut up veggies here.
After a difficult transition period (for me) we are in a place where I do not buy chips, chocolate, candy, cookies or ice cream (or a host of other high sugar/fat/salt/poor nutrition items) as a regular part of my shop. I am a bit amazed at how little my teens and husband cared that these items were gone. I realized - it was all me. I was craving them, using them to fill holes in my day, and equating care and love with feeding my family and myself these "treats." I am guessing I am not alone in this.
And now to my point: it is amazing how much money I am saving by not buying this stuff!!! Looking back, it feels like these "treats" easily made up 1/3 of what we ate every day. So, along with the very valuable grocery savings tips you provide, this has made a signifigant impact on our weekly spending! It's all been a bit of a revelation, to be honest.
Ya'll is gender neutral. It means "You All." Everyone.