Meet a Reader | Nicole from the Carolinas
Today we're meeting Nicole, a nurse who shares a blended family of six kids with her husband.
1. Tell us a little about yourself
I’m a mid-30s woman born and raised in the South. We call Upstate SC/Western NC home. Most of my life has been spent here with just a few vacations outside of the South.
All of my extended family except my sister lives within 3 hours as well.
I was married at a young age for 15 years, and 3 years ago went through a painful divorce. I got married in 2022 and we have a blended family of 6 kids, most of whom are teenagers.
Here's our whole family at our wedding in 2022. We had a small intimate ceremony at our church and we took photos outside at our friends house.
I work as a nurse in a hospital and plan my schedule around my husband’s so we can enjoy our time off together.
2. How long have you been reading The Frugal Girl?
I found Kristen’s blog through my sister who used to read a lot of blogs, back in 2008. Now I follow 1-2 blogs through Feedly where I can click only on the content I’m interested in. Saves time!
I keep coming back to the FG because of Kristen’s focus on simplicity and contentment. Also, I like her consistency with writing and posts. It feels like catching up with an old friend when I read.
3. How did you get interested in saving money?
I was raised in a single-parent household with a mother who was naturally frugal out of necessity, then out of preference. So it has come naturally to me to be a saver.
Also, I've had many many lean years of just barely scraping by.
Now I have a job that pays well and I always have opportunities for overtime!
4. What's the "why" behind your money-saving efforts?
In one word? Intentionality.
I crave the security of having savings to not have to worry about a $1000 unexpected expense. And I love to share experiences with my husband and kids, so much more than gifts/material things.
I like following the Dave Ramsey plan and ideas, but mostly I enjoyed Rachel Craze’s book “Love Your Life, Not Theirs” which focuses a lot on contentment in your life in order to save and win with money.
My husband and I are very intentional about our money so we can do the things that matter most to us. That includes cash-flowing college expenses, computers, cars, and vacations for all of us.
5. What's your best frugal win?
It's hard to choose just one…I refinanced my home after my divorce for a 2.5% interest rate. I did not upgrade my home even though I wanted to in the last 14 years. Now as we prepare to sell it we are looking at a good chunk of money to payoff our new house.
Another is driving my minivan for 10 years because it was reliable and paid off.
Mostly, though, it's just saying no to little things over and over if they don’t matter, building the habit of saving instead of spending, and living on less than we make.
6. What's a dumb money mistake you've made?
For the first 10 years of my previous marriage, we used credit cards rather than cutting expenses more extremely.
I now know that it took an emotional toll on me because I have a need for financial security to feel safe, and I wish we could have been on the same page about cutting expenses instead of regular splurges (like eating out).
7. What's one thing you splurge on?
Vacations/experiences.
Not extreme, but we take regular (every month) weekend trips or more expensive local activities to enjoy with our kids. We’ve never been out of the country or flown with all 8 of us, but there are so many places and things to explore within an 8-hour drive.
Also, the kids enjoy more expensive activities (top golf, amusement parks, etc) so we build that into the budget for our family time, rather than doing it whenever they want.
Also, I splurge on giving, by intentionally giving to those who are in need, such as a friend who is having her third baby soon and needed a larger vehicle. I gave her my minivan to her for a steal; I could continue to drive it, and it is reliable, but I want to bless her.
8. What's one thing you aren't remotely tempted to splurge on?
For my husband and me both, clothes and shoes.
We prefer more classic styles (jeans and tshirt) and wear them as long as we can. We both wear uniforms for work.
I don’t spend much on my makeup, hair, or nails and I can’t believe how much people pay for this regularly.
9. If $1000 was dropped into your lap today, what would you do with it?
I'd use it to finish some renovations on our new house.
My husband's house had an unfinished walkout basement so we are finishing it and we will have enough space for all 8 of us to live comfortably together.
10. What's the easiest/hardest part of being frugal?
Hardest: Saying no to what looks or sounds good right now such as eating out, coffee, smoothies, new clothing, in favor of saving for what I really want.
Easiest: momentum! As you start saving and having a cushion, it gets easier to snowball and continue it.
11. Is there anything unique about frugal living in your area?
We live in an area with so much beauty and enjoyment to be had in all four seasons.
There are many free outdoor activities such as lakes, rivers/streams, and hiking trails, and there is beautiful scenery all around. We often choose these things for our “entertainment”.
I would say that overall we have a lower cost of living compared to many areas of the US. Being in a rural area means it’s not very walkable, but there are many farms which have CSAs or sell their produce and meats to neighbors.
12. How has reading The Frugal Girl changed you?
Kristen has taught me so much about how to work with what you have.
Back in 2010 when I had more time at home and less money, I learned how to bake yeast bread and gave it as gifts and fed my family well. Menu planning and keeping up with the fridge food also trying not to waste food.
Those are true life lessons.
Also, in more recent years, I have enjoyed reading Kristen‘s posts about launching her teens into adulthood and her bravery in going back to nursing school.
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Nicole, there are several parts of your story that resonated with me; like the fact that you got married really young and then ended up divorcing. I'm so happy to hear of your remarriage and I wish you a happily ever after with your new guy!
I loved the pictures of all of your kids together; seeing the happy new life you've made after a tough divorce is heart-warming.
Also, I read with interest that you are a nurse. What kind of nursing do you do?
And lastly, it made me smile to see the eyes on your Christmas cookies. 🙂
Hi, Nicole! I love the cookies. It makes a great party and fun family memories. I remember decorating cookies for so long— probably since I was 3 or 4.
@Jody S.,
Wonderful memories. I always think “what memories will my children have when they’re older?” And plan from there.
Hi Nicole! I'm living in the upstate of SC as well and totally know that free mini golf park, but had completely forgotten it existed! Your picture was a wonderful reminder, and now that I've remembered, I can't wait to take my kids! We also spend lots of weekends enjoying all of the free and beautiful outdoor areas around the upstate; we are lucky to live in such a pretty area!
@Hana,
That's great, glad I reminded you of it! We are so lucky and are always finding new parks/playgrounds to enjoy.
Hi Nicole! What a gorgeous family! It's so wonderful to read about your contented, happy life, especially after a painful divorce.
@Rose,
Thank you for your kind comments! God has been my shield and my strength through it all.
Hi Nicole - I loved all the pictures of your beautiful family; it looks like you have lots of fun together! It's also great that you have extended family close by; I miss that. I haven't baked tons of cookies in recent years, but you and Kristen both are inspiring me to get back into that just to be able to have decorating parties. I would definitely have to get a ninja gingerbread cutter after seeing your cookies !
@Suz, I spied the ninja cookies, too. We have ninja cookie cutters from a gingerbread-decorating kit--we kept the cutters, and they are a huge hit and get used a lot every Christmas season. We're more about having fun with our cookies rather than making them pretty.
Nicole, it was fun to read about your life. I hear ya on the theme of not updating your house when you'd really like to. There's a lot of pressure to make your home "current" and it takes fortitude to not get sucked into the constant upgrading mindset. I don't think updating is bad, per se--I'm thinking more of the fast fashion version of home decor that is prevalent these days. Anyway, thanks for sharing!
@Suz,
Low entry to fun - ALDI has a ninjabread cookie mix near Christmastime that includes the mix and the cookie cutters. Just have to make or buy the icing and the toppings.
@Kris,
Yes I am not much of a decorator and thats ok with me! Mostly with upgrading I have been wanting more space and a newer home. Definitely a good move to have waited, now the market is good where we live and should be able to sell quickly.
Hi Nicole! So many beautiful photos of your family. Thank you for sharing them.
@kristin @ going country,
thank you!
Thank you for sharing! I look forward to reading Meet the Reader every Monday. It is amazing to me that frugality looks so different for each of us yet somehow the same.
On another note, I love your part of the world. In an attempt to escape the Florida heat when my children were younger, we spent many memorable summer days in that area. There are so many wonderful hikes and inexpensive campgrounds in the Golden Triangle. My middle son even hiked the Cherokee Foothills Trial as a warm-up to the AT. It’s just beautiful!
@Bee,
Yes I understand that, we ride the motorcycle to higher elevations to escape the summer heat here! That's amazing to hear about your son hiking, I've heard about people hiking the entire AT and I don't have that kind of drive, more enjoy the fun of it and nature in smaller spurts 🙂
Hi, Nicole. It's good to meet another reader from our lovely Southern Appalachians--as well as your lovely family!
And, Kristen, here's an idea for a possible future post (or two): Suppose you just ask all the commenters to indicate the state/province/territory/country where they live, and then tabulate the results? I'm getting curious about whether some areas have more readers than others.
@A. Marie,
I second that, and would only add - where did you grow up in addition to where do you live (now)?
@JD, For some of us, that would be 8+ places! We'd skew the demographic statistics.
@A. Marie, I love that idea! I have wondered so many times where commenters are. That's why I identify as "Central California", because without "Central", either San Francisco or Los Angeles would be assumed.
@A. Marie, I would love to see the statistics on that.
@JD, I like that idea, too. Even though some people have more than one place they grew up.
@Central Calif. Artist, I haven’t commented in years but I am Sonoma County. I have wondered where everyone is also.
Hi Nicole,
We don't get to hear that much about blended families, so thanks for chiming in! I love the area you live in - you are right that there is plenty there to see!
Your story is inspirational. Your happiness at living frugally and yet fully is evident. Congratulations!
You mentioned college; do you think all of your kids will choose college? I'm leaning more and more toward encouraging the learning of the trades such as Lisey is doing. It still requires schooling/training, but the rewards are quicker and the cost is usually less.
@JD, there are excellent scholarships to trade schools through Mike Rowe's foundation called "mikeroweworksfoundation".
@Central Calif. Artist, And Lisey got one of them.
As much as I admire Lisey, a small part of me is kind of horrified about the idea of trade school versus college. I have a very, very blue collar background where everyone is a tradesperson, and college is only for the smart ones, and it was a given from day one I'd go... I know all the arguments, believe me. It's just hard, coming from that working class background, where no one until my older brother ever went to college, to spurn the idea.
Worry not; Lisey is going to finish up her four-year degree as well. 😉 She's already got a two year degree, and her classes at the trade school translate as college credits toward her four year degree.
@Kristen,
I’m Curious. What would Lisey like to pursue? Mechanical or aerospace engineering? Physics?
@Rose, she did??? AWESOME!
@Central Calif. Artist, I am pretty sure Kristen shared it here. Yep, Lisey is pretty damn awesome.
@JD,
These 2 teens we are "launching" now are both high school seniors, so we are new to this!
My stepchildren have college paid for by family funds with no limit on where and what they study.
My 3 children will face typical college concerns of what to study and how to pay for it. I lean towards encouraging community college and trade school if that seems best depending on their desired career field but also hard work and partial responsibility on them to save for it. Coparenting is a real thing and so its not only my decision. But I have set limits on how much I am willing to spend on college expenses/tuition. FAFSA is not a help bc we don't qualify for anything but loans. Lots of conversations and assistance with scholarships, internships, job shadowing, etc. I lean towards trade school for one child because he is very mechanically inclined with strong spatial skills and a love for vehicles. He will be taking automotive classes in high school. I am supportive either way as long as my kids work hard.
Nicole, your post oozes with intentionality, simplicity and free family fun. Loved it!
@MB in MN, ooze is such a great word.
@MB in MN,
Thank you! Those are great words to describe what I enjoy.
I love eye cookies so you won me over immediately with your great looking cookies! Maybe you can take over the cookie guessing game for Kristen. 😉 I was a little worried about your youngest until the last picture where she finally appeared to be smiling. It's impressive that you can get so many teenagers to travel/recreate together compatibly.
I was so impressed by that as well! A blended family of teenagers could be such a challenge to pull together.
@Bobi,
Ha ha it is interesting that she is the most difficult for pictures because she is so easy going and happy in real life. She is my little buddy who is always up for moms adventures. But if she doesn't want to take a picture it shows all over her face! It has been so wonderful and also challenging blending our families, but all the kids get along really well and have similar interests. Also they are (somewhat) used to compromising because they have had siblings for their whole lives. No one gets their way all the time and we do a lot of "voting" and taking turns picking activities. God has been so good to us and we are so thankful. We are taking our first big trip in a few weeks, 5 hour ride to the beach and staying a week!
Your family is so cute! I liked reading all about your life!
@Ann,
Thank you! Meet the Reader is fun for me to read each week too!
Hi Nicole, I thoroughly enjoyed your post. And I like that you share these lovely pictures of you and your family. It all looks so relaxed. It seems that you are having lots of (frugal) fun family time together. I can very well imagine that it took/takes a lot of work, commitment, understanding and love to make a blended family a happy and thriving family. You seem to have achieved this. Congratulations!
@Lea,
thank you for your kind comments. My husband and I are both very laid back and "go with the flow" and have learned what helps us to thrive and it is a lot of downtime at home and quality time. It does take a lot of work, communication and understanding but so worth it!
Nicole, the fact that you have only been in the South causes me to read your interview in a southern accent. Here are my thoughts:
1. It is crazy beautiful where you live, and I want you to adopt me so I can go kayaking, SU paddle-boarding, hiking, and biking with you and your kids. (Never mind that I am old enough to be your mother).
2. Rachel "Cruze", rather than "Craze". Made me smile to wonder how many times her family might be called "Cra-zee", and only pointed out in case others want to find the book.
3. I am so with you on the hair, make-up, and nails approach, but just every so often, I wonder if I might enjoy looking a bit more put together—slightly tempted by fake eyelashes until I remember how much and how often to keep them maintained, so I continue with cheap mascara.
4. One of the many things I appreciate about Kristen's blog is her consistency. So many I have followed through the years that have just quit posting.
5. You are so wise about saying no to the immediate in favor of saying yes to the long term.
Thank you for sharing your life with this community!
@Central Calif. Artist, I'm a constant eye-rubber so I can't do mascara, but a couple years ago for an important work party, I had eyelash extensions added. They looked nice, but boy were they irritating after a day or two. Again, I'm an eye rubber who has sensory issues, so this might not be everyone's issue. Then again, I probably wear makeup about once a month, tops, but I like my Botox to get rid of my angry frown lines....and don't tell anyone but I recently experiemented with lip fillers since I noticed my lips, formerly nice, seemed to have disappeared.
Kristen, it occurs to me that if you ever run low on Meet a Reader, you could do Meet a Reader Updates! etc. LOOK AT MY LIPS (I swear they are not a trout pout, heh)
@Rose, during the pandemic, many of the female anchors and reporters on several local tv stations (we live near a major city) were wearing eyelash extensions and it was hilarious. I'm not sure what caused the trend, but watching these women try to keep their eyes open and read the news with what looked like giant spiders weighing down their eyes was painful and comical at the same time. Thankfully, the fad seems to have passed.
@Bobi, Ha! Whenever I get a treatment like that, I am always specifying "I want to look natural, not Kardashian." Trouble is, my eyelashes are blonde so they're mostly invisible. On the other hand, who really cares? When I get a tweakment (SIGH for that word) I do it just to please myself, not anyone else. I have zero point zero in dating, etc. Well, to be honest, generally I always do things only to please myself, not to impress other people, no matter what it is.
@Rose,
I enjoyed your comments, so funny! I think the biggest takeaway of contentment is just that - doing things to please ourselves, not others. So if that is eyelashes and lip treatments for you, great, enjoy it! I spent about $6K on lasik eye surgery a few years ago and it was life changing for me. Many people wouldn't want to do it or spend the money, but I made saving a priority and love having multiple pairs of (cheap) sunglasses at all times.
@Central Calif. Artist,
Thank you for your kind comments. We would take you along with us for fun, the more the merrier!
Thanks for correcting my typos, iphones just can't compete with a computer for lots of typing and Q&A.
My one favorite makeup item is mascara (I love maybelline lash sensational) and feel like if I don't wear it I look like I'm still asleep 🙂
Blue Ridge Parkway is my favorite stretch of highway also. Once I coasted from the highest point with windows open and blasting my favorite Andrea Bocelli tunes.
Feels like flying.
@Tiana, Andrea Bocelli and Blue Ridge Mountain coasting… what a lovely combination!!
@Tiana,
Yes that sounds lovely! I personally love to blast country and Christian music, a motorcycle is a great way to really feel the wind in your hair it is a different experience. I recently rode on the Foothills Parkway in TN and it was beautiful in that same way too!
Nicole,
Thanks for sharing your story with us. It looks like you have figured out a lot of things at a still "young" age. I wish you and your family happiness and success going forward.
I will check out the Rachel Cruze book. It's always good to hear another person's perspective.
@K D,
Thank you for your kind comments. I guess I would say I'm an "old soul". I matured at a young age because of the responsibilities of kids and school and work. I remember leaving my oldest with grandma at 2 weeks old so I could go back to night school, determined to finish my degree. I have gained much knowledge over the years but I also know I have many more things to learn.
I hope you enjoy the book!
Hi Nicole! I enjoyed reading about you and your family and wish you the best as you move forward with your new life and family. I only live a couple hours from your area and have spent many enjoyable days taking in the beauty of that area. One of my favorite places to be is the Parkway! Thanks for sharing.
@Addy,
Thank you for your sweet comments! Glad to hear you have enjoyed this area as well. So nice to "meet" so many like minded people in this community.
Hi Nicole, nice to meet you! My mother was born and raised in Asheville and we stayed with relatives for weeks at a time every summer so I understand why you love your part of the world. My children too, are in a blended family. When I got married, I got two daughters and we later had two more children. One of the greatest joys in my life is that now, as they are all adults, they LOVE each other and want their children to spend time together. Financial Peace University was such a help to getting our family finances in order. All your pictures are so happy!
@Elaine N,
Nice to meet you. Thank you for your sweet comments. One of the joys in life is sharing our experiences to help others. Thanks for sharing yours with your blended family. I have seen that shift as well, as my oldest is now 18 and truly desires to connect and communicate with me and I love it. We are so happy, God has been good to us!
What a beautiful family ! Thank you for sharing such wonderful inspirations for so many frugal fun family activities! Good to meet you, Nicole!
@Martha,
Thank you!
Nicole, you have a lovely family whose joy is easy to see in the great photos. And what a loving person you are to give your van to a needy person! I so enjoyed hearing all about your new life and wish you and these lucky kids all the best.
@Erika JS,
Thank you for your sweet comments!
Hi Nicole!
I enjoyed your post and the beautiful photos of scenery and your family. I wonder if you have been teaching/encouraging your large blended family to help with cooking and baking? I’m sorry you had to go through a hard divorce and I hope you find may years of joy with your new life family. Blessings to all ya’ll.
@Vickymac,
Oops, many not “may”.
@Vickymac,
Thank you for your kind comments. I have taken the responsibility of food for my family. With that I manage it all but have learned to delegate. The two oldest girls (both 18) cook dinner for the family once a week alternating weeks (one this week, one next week). I have them find a recipe they want and send it to me and I make sure we have the ingredients or add them to the grocery list. When I am working more, I have ordered Aldi grocery pickup and have one of them pickup and put away groceries. The majority of the time I plan, shop and cook for us. But these are ways I have lightened my load when needed. My DH doesn't have much experience/ability in the kitchen but he is willing and able to do a few easy standby meals and I have him do that usually once a week. I have recently started trying to loosely follow a system (Mon mexican, Tues soup, Wed chicken, etc) because I get tired of coming up with dinner ideas! No one else seems to mind eating the same meals every few weeks so I've been rotating old favorites and mixing in new things as well. The baking is done mostly by the older kids when they want something. Or about once a month I will bake something especially for holidays.
Thanks so much for posting. Loved all the photos and the smart moves you have made. You are kind, generous and level headed. I just put the book you mention on hold at my library. Good luck to you and your lovely family. You don't mention any pets? You should have a cookie contet like Kristen does.
@Anita Isaac,
Thank you for your kind comments. Personally I have nothing against pets but I'm more of a baby person. I love kids of all ages. And I've told my kids for years if they could take care of a pet without my help, they could get one. They have a dog at their dads house lol. Maybe in the future but not wanting one right now.
Glad to meet you! I also have learned to be frugal the hard way, but it is a better life with more control and a savings account. Congratulations on resisting the "instant redecorating" trend--can't believe how many magazines tout the remodel every year. Upgrading when necessary is much more important than the remodel of the moment, and cheaper in the long run, and easier to live with and enjoy. True for kitchens and for personal fashion. If your daughters are interested you can learn to do each others' hair and nails--not difficult, and another life skill that can make money in a pinch. It might also help them learn to be frugal about such services and appreciate the beauty of natural skin, healthy nails, and simple haircuts. I think the over made-up women in movies and TV are scary and not very attractive.
Anyway, enjoy your beautiful home area and your family. In a few years you will have happy memories.
As for college--it is still a good investment in a child's potential and future, expanding job options and preparing for future choices. My husband, a college physics professor, likes to brag about his students. They are creating the future in ways that are possible only with advanced training, in all kinds of fields. They are pilots, astronomy telescope managers, medical researchers, computer engineers, and many other fields. My own former students are journalists, writers, and producers, helping readers and viewers understand current events and many issues that affect our lives and our futures. They are not all making big bucks, but they are doing valuable work that gives them ways to use unique talents. My own college degree helped me find better paid jobs to support myself, even in hard times.
So many options are available to young students now. And more good news: there is no longer a window that closes on college. My own university had a strict rule that students who enrolled had to graduate in seven years or they would never be allowed to return. It is no longer that way, good news for people who discover a passion later in life.
@Kristina,
I am very supportive of a college degree and higher education, but I strongly believe the child has to have an internal drive as well as the external pressure and encouragement from parents. I expect that likely all 6 of our kids will go to college, likely a 4 year degree but we would be open to community college/trade school as an option as well.