Meet a Reader | Nancy in Atlanta
Hey there! Nancy's been reading my blog for a really long time and I'm so happy to get to know a little more about her. Here she is!
1. Tell us a little about yourself
Although I currently live near Atlanta, I’m a Chicago area native.
I’m also a retired C.P.A. with a long career in corporate taxation, primarily doing state and local taxes. I could still work if I wanted, but after retiring three times, I’m ready for a change in my life.
My husband and I moved to Atlanta when a house came up for sale down the street from our daughter. We help her with the grandchildren and her errands.
Most mornings we have a four-year-old eating breakfast with us, who we then take to preschool. We pick her up in the afternoons and deliver her back home again.
If my daughter goes into the office, we have to get the older two on and off their bus as well. It keeps us busy!
I love writing in my journal. I’ve journaled for over 40 years and it’s fun going back to read what happened so long ago. My life has moved so fast that I can’t remember all the little things that went on.
I also fold origami tessellations. I first tried origami four years ago and two years ago, began doing tessellations. It’s fun – most of the time – but much harder than it looks. The designer of my work (below) is @gatheringfolds.
I’m also a bit of a pitmaster. While expensive, the Big Green Eggs are a lifetime investment. When it’s hot and humid out, it’s nice to keep the heat out of the kitchen. I cook meat, vegetables, casseroles, and even bread on them.
It’s also been a good hobby for me and a fun way to get my cooking done.
2. How long have you been reading The Frugal Girl?
I started reading The Frugal Girl in 2011 when I was doing my own blog. It’s been fun watching her blog change over the years and her kids grow up.
And now Kristen is on to new adventures, which sounds much more fun than it actually is.
3. What's the "why" behind your money-saving efforts?
My husband and I have struggled financially most of our life. Saving money was a necessity if we didn’t want to go bankrupt. It was hard watching family and friends who could afford whatever they wanted, while we could hardly pay the mortgage and buy groceries.
We lived paycheck to paycheck and it only took one crisis to put us back under again. We also lived on just my income. Child care cost more than my husband brought home from work, so he became a stay-at-home father and did a great job of it.
It was scary and it was hard, but my husband and I learned a lot during those years. We are doing much better now with our finances, but the old habits are still there of being careful what we spend and what we spend it on.
4. What's your best frugal win?
Taking my lunch to work nearly every day. Cafeteria food is expensive and not very good!
I cooked proteins several times a month (hooray for my freezer), as well as rice and vegetables. I made a lot of my own rice bowls to take to work (i.e., protein, rice, and vegetables mixed together in a plastic container with a drizzle of olive oil).
Between that and a piece of fruit, my lunches were nutritious and easy on the budget.
5. What's an embarrassing money mistake you've made?
My husband and I didn’t want to pay for a financial advisor, so we paid big dollars to take a class on learning how to invest. My husband and I both hated it and decided partway through to forfeit the tuition and pay a financial advisor instead.
It was too bad that we paid that much money, but we’ve never again had the discussion about doing it ourselves. It wasn’t worth it for us.
The dogs thought? They were worth it, even though old dogs are expensive the last few years.
6. What's one thing you splurge on?
Going out for breakfast every day with my husband (after our daughter left home). I worked a lot of hours and it was about the only time we could see each other that we were both in a good mood.
We talked about everything, used the time for planning (house repairs, trips, and everything else), and just enjoyed each other’s company. I didn’t feel so bad coming home late and not seeing him for supper.
We don’t do this anymore since moving to Atlanta, especially now that we have our granddaughter who loves making eggs and toast with Grandpa before school.
7. What's the easiest/hardest part of being frugal?
The easiest part of being frugal is that it was the right thing to do and it still is. I do not apologize for it and if my family wants to be offended at how I budget my money, it’s too bad for them.
The hardest part is people feeling they can criticize my decisions and then get mad when I don’t want their opinions or decline to participate in something that I do not want to spend my money on. When I was younger, it bothered me that I might be missing something.
As I’ve gotten older, I know I did the right thing for us and we did just fine.
8. Is there anything unique about frugal living in your area?
Yes, but not in a good way.
The suburb where we live has very few good restaurants, shopping, or entertainment. It’s a long drive to go anywhere, with typical Atlanta traffic and crowds. It’s encouraged us to stay home to eat and to have creative practices that don’t require us going anywhere.
I also mail order a lot more than I ever have before in my life. The good thing is it cuts down on impulse buying, but the bad news is I can’t see what I’m buying before it comes. And while impulse buying can be a problem, it also helps to see things that I need but forgot to put on the list.
9. What is something you wish more people knew?
Happiness is homemade.
My husband and I resolved years ago that we would be happy no matter what our financial circumstances were. When we couldn’t afford anything, we went walking in free nature preserves nearly every weekend (yes, even in Chicago winters).
Our cars were small but well-maintained. I spent my vacations going to see my sister and using my niece’s bedroom as the guest room.
We’ve had friends and family see financial reversals for many reasons and it’s hard watching them struggle with it. They don’t like this new life of frugality and can’t get past it to see they can still be happy.
10. Any other thoughts?
I hesitate to bring this up, but being frugal isn’t always about saving money. It’s also about spending both time and money wisely. I’ve paid for repairs that would take us too long to do or cause us too much physical pain. A weekend was not enough time to get groceries and cook for the week, clean the house, catch up on sleep, and spend time with my husband and child, as well as doing other projects.
In retirement, we pay for things that we could do ourselves but would rather not. We no longer paint our walls (too many shoulder problems) or replace ceiling lights / fans (NO LADDERS).
I pay to get the house cleaned because this new house is huge and it’s not worth the physical pain it causes me to do it myself. I can have time to take care of grandchildren, journal, and practice my origami or I can do non-stop chores. I can’t do both.
For me, it’s a good use of our money to stay healthy and have time for a life.
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Nancy, thank you for sharing! I'm impressed with your grill skills. I also grill, of course, but I've mainly used gas grills. I did use a Big Green Egg grill one time at the beach, but it was very windy there and I remember it took me forever to get the grill to stay lit!
Do you have any grillmaster tips to share with the rest of us?
Regarding what you said about my new adventures: while there have certainly been some distasteful circumstances in this time period, I do overall feel excited about my future! There are new adventures to be had out there, and I think a lot of them will be good. 🙂
And regarding #10: I think your no-ladders policy is wise (I am well-steeped in fall risks because of nursing school!), and I also understand that sometimes you just want to pay someone to do a task you hate. That's why I'm considering hiring out my lawn care. 😉
Hi Nancy, I really like it when the interview comes with a face 🙂
Great, that you are able and obviously happy to help your daughter with the kids.
Oh, and I know what you mean with senior dogs becoming quite expensive.....I need to spend several hundred Euros/month to make my senior dog feel comfortable and to ensure he stays healthy and happy. Worth every single cent!
@Lea, I'd also like to come in on old dog cost and pet cost in general. We have 2 dogs and 1 cat right now and since we've been married have (32 years) have had a total of 5 dogs and 2 cats. I've never kept a record of how much we've spent for them (I'm sure it's better this way...lol) but for me, the cost is worth their companionship. Worth every cent!
* comment!
@MH and @Lea, exactly.
Hm, how many pets have we had? Well, two kitties, the one with RBF and DinGus and ten dogs.
@Lea - You're welcome! I'm glad you liked seeing my picture. But yes, it was worth the money on medications and vet visits for the old dogs. After they passed, I realized it was a sacred trust to take care of them to the end.
Nancy,
Thank you for sharing. I agree that being frugal is about getting a bang for your buck and we also have out sourced tasks that could be physically difficult/dangerous as we have aged. Years of frugality have led to the ability to do so. Also, when you hire others to work at/on your home the money is spent locally and I think that is a good thing.
@K D, exactly.
@K D - I hadn't thought of that, but yes - the money was spent locally! You're also right that the years of frugality are making it possible for us to outsource these at this time. My husband has painted and wallpapered so many times as we moved around the country. He offered to do it here and I said no. I'd live with ugly colors until we were ready to pay for it.
Nice to meet you, Nancy! You are living my dream-- of being a grandmother. I want to be a grandma (by any name) when I grow up.
One thing that struck me about your interview is that it seems you must have received criticism for frugality. That must make having frugal habits difficult. I'd never thought of it before, but I can't think of anybody I'm in regular contact with who I wouldn't consider frugal and careful with money-- even those who have money to spend. Just think of what an encouragement you must be to those in your circle who have the same values you have!
With regard to paying other people to do thing-- yes! We each have our own thing over which we value our own time/energy over money. I love to cook, but some days the easy button must be pushed. My husband can fix many things on vehicles, but there are some times in life that one more thing to do is one thing too many.
@Jody S., the "criticism for frugality" angle struck me too--especially since it sounds as if it came from family members. That's just sad.
I used to get the occasional razzmatazz from my MIL and SIL (DH's sister, who was my MIL's "mini-me" and 13 years my senior, so it often felt like having two MILs). But they're both long gone, and my bio-siblings fortunately don't care how frugal I am, so I'm free to go on my merry frugal way.
@A. Marie, I love the word razzmatazz and yes mil and sil (again anther mini-me but a few years younger than me) gave me there good opinions on money matters. BTW both were constantly in debt.
@karen, For some reason that reminds me of Peg Bracken's dazzleberry pie, and what to do if the dazzleberries aren't ripe yet. I love you, Peg Bracken.
@karen, and @ Nancy,
Ugh, yes...I get silent, passive-aggressive judgement from my family regarding my attempts at frugality. They hate buying me the practical gifts I have on my wish list for birthday and Christmas, and scoff at our (small) vacation budget. However, I'm not the one in the family whose house was foreclosed on due to nonpayment, and we do take vacations every year, and we pay our bills every month (including paying 100% of our two credit card bills).
@Liz B., Ugh. I am so sorry you get that from family members. It saddens me to see just how many have less than positive things said to them about being frugal.
I also get the comments and passive aggressive things said to / about myself and husband for always driving previously used vehicles, buying anything and everything we can secondhand, etc. My kids have watched their grandparents buy the other grandkids "extras" because my siblings are constantly broke. The snide comments are even starting to be said to my children as they both chose state schools and furnished their dorms / apartments with gently used articles. Ugh, again.
@Cheryl 90,
Thank you, and I join you in saying multiple "ugh's". It's terrible that you have observed different treatment from grandparents within your family, and - yikes - that they have heard those comments directed at their choice of schools. The difference being, your kids will have no or minimal (or much less) school debt vs. others who take out huge school loans that they'll be paying off for their entire adult life. All of us frugalistas deserve better!
@Jody S. and everyone else - What a great bunch of comments! It was mostly family that made that comment. The one side could afford whatever they wanted; the other side couldn't but was willing to get into debt to get what they wanted. The family politics were pretty bad and it took us a long time to figure that out.
Thanks Nancy for the introduction. It's nice to meet you and your grilling self.
And your grandkids are very lucky to have you living down the street. What a blessing to see smiling and excited faces during the week. My granddaughter is 6 hours away now which is way better than the 24-hour drives when we lived in FL.
@Maureen - We've become much closer to the grandchildren by being so close. And it's wonderful to go out at the last minute for dinner with our daughter. We lived about an 8 hour drive away and I'm glad to not be making that drive anymore to see them.
Hi Nancy! I love how forthright you are with your opinions. I have a gas grill, but I decided I'm going to get rid of it and get a Big Green Egg or knockoff for this summer. Food just tastes better.
@Rose - Thank you for the compliment!
I would keep the gas grill if you have room. It's nice for quick meals (marinated chicken breasts, grilled summer squash). But the BGE does give the food a better flavor and texture. It's also just fun to cook on.
I like your pose at your Big Green Eggs; you look ready for a Grand Pitmaster Battle! And we're with you about the cost of senior dog years (looking at the $100 bag of hypoallergenic food) - very worth it to be able to take good care of our old buddy.
But most of all I appreciate your idea of going out to breakfast with your husband because that's when you would both be able to spend some time together in a good mood. What a game-changer! We finally realized that's lunch for us. No more blindly trying to arrange date nights; bring on the date days...
@Suz - Thanks for the lovely note!
Breakfast is thankfully pretty cheap for going out. We knew there were other things we could spend that money on, but our marriage is important too. After I retired, we did lunch several times a week for better variety. Even that is cheaper than going out for supper.
I agree with outsourcing things!
We have always done all the housecleaning as a family but about a year ago, I saw a flier posted on a community board for a "bathroom keeper"...yes, she is a housekeeper who only does bathrooms! Cleaning our bathrooms is my least favorite chore...I actually do enjoy vacuuming, dusting, and lots of other housework, but NOT the bathroom cleaning! My husband avoids the bathroom chores at all costs! Now she comes twice a month and the bathrooms are spotless and we only need to do simple wipe downs as needed between her visits. Saves time and improves our quality of life. Plus, her rate is quite reasonable and I am happy to support her business!
@Ann, That's a great idea for housecleaning! Our kitchen is generally clean, and Terminator the robovac is pretty good with floors, but bathrooms gross me out, especially ones I don't use myself.
I got my hair did on Saturday, and one of the other customers was complaining that her house was so cluttered. The hairdresser said, "You need one of those, whaddya call me, organizers," and the client said, "Yes, but where am I going to find one out here?" I said, "I can solve your problem right now," and gave her the org lady's name and number. She is gonna make a fortune, I keep telling her.
@Ann,
It would be wonderful to find someone just to do bathrooms! It is one of the two chores that I hate doing most. The second is ironing.
@Bee, if I may ask - what do you iron? The pandemic seems to have killed a lot of ironable clothing...
Me, I'd love to have ironed sheets, especially the edges, which seem to be permanently deeply wrinkled. But I hate ironing and I'm not sure I'd ever be rich enough to make that something I'd pay for.
@WilliamB,
Honestly, I don’t iron as much as I used to, but living in Florida a wear a lot of cotton and linen. I try to hang those items when wet, then they are easier to iron. However, sometimes my husband “helps” with the laundry and everything needs to be ironed. 🙂
Also, 100% cotton percale sheets are cooler. Sometimes I touch these up in the guest room. Mostly just the band that goes over the top of the duvet and the pillowcases. I also iron table linens. When I have company, I love to go all out on my dining table.
@Bee, I am fortunate to have an old fashioned "solar clothes dryer" aka clothesline, on which i hang my (100% cotton) sheets. No ironing needed and they smell SO good!
@WilliamB, Perhaps the greatest labor saving device while raising children of the last decades, other than disposable diapers, is non-ironed clothing. I can't imagine what it would have been like without double-knits, cotton-t-shirts, elastic waisted pants, and other wash-and-wear fabrics.
@Heidi Louise, I can't get over how well my son's non-iron dress shirts look.
@WilliamB, I wonder if a steamer would work on those sheet edges. . . I saw it do wonders in a retail clothing store when the new merchandise would arrive all crumpled.
@Central Calif. Artist Jana, That's a neat idea - maybe for my next set of sheets. This set is 10-15 years old (good quality sheets are frugal, eh?) and the creases are long since intractible. I'm not sure that even an industrial press could get them out permanently.
@Heidi Louise,
My mother raised three girls in the era before permanent press. She told me one day that stuck in her mind forever was the day she ironed thirty-six girl-sized cotton dresses, with puffed sleeves, gathers, collars, pin-tucks and the like. We wore dresses all the time - they were required at school and we even wore them to play much of the time. My mother was a HUGE fan of no-iron clothing when it became common.
@JD, I know those days!
I remember the day in January or February that our fifth grade teacher talked very seriously to us about how the rules were changing and girls could now wear pants to school. (The previous rule was only wearing them under our dresses when it was cold. We could wear pants to and from school, and had to take the pants off in the hallway and store them in our lockers with coats and boots. That involved a certain agility to not flash or pull off a half-slip while undressing). Certainly pants made more sense for PE, sitting on the floor, recess running around, and so forth.
I had no clue at the time what kind of gender distinctions were being stretched, especially for this woman who was probably born in the early 20th century or before.
@Rose,
Amen to that.....I have several no-iron shirts from Lands End that I love. I wore out the very first no-iron white shirt I bought from them years ago.
@Bee,
Same!! I've always hated cleaning bathrooms, with ironing a close second. I would happily pay someone to clean our bathrooms.
@Ann - What a lot of nice notes that you got!
My husband and I cleaned the house for years and years. Our cleaner here was surprised to hear that. But this house was a considerable upsize and I'll be several days in pain (as will my husband) if we do it ourselves. We wanted something much smaller, but this is convenient to the family. And the boys are old enough to walk over by themselves now.
I love that bathroom keeper idea! I bet she gets a lot of business with that niche.
@WilliamB, I wish ironing had disappeared! My husband wears dress clothes to work every day and I iron at least 5 shirts and trousers a week. An impeccable appearance is important to him and since I'm the housekeeper and he is an excellent wage earner, I feel it's the least I can do for him
Hi, Nancy. I'm another older Commentariat member who's 100% with you on your #10. I don't do anything any more that requires kneeling or getting on a ladder. And I'll give up a lot else before I'll give up my housecleaning crew.
@A. Marie, me, too! House cleaners are my first luxury and probably the last I'd give up.
@A. Marie - Exactly! Kneeling is no longer my friend. Ladders never were, but they aren't for my husband anymore either. It's nice to pay to get the house cleaned after all these years of doing it ourselves. But that's what nice about being frugal - I can afford that at this time in my life.
It’s nice to meet you, Nancy. “Happiness is homemade!” I just love this line.
@Bee - You're welcome! Thanks for that compliment too.
Nancy, you bring up an interesting point about time and money. I feel sometimes that we mischaracterize what frugality is. It definitely is not "don't spend money." It also is not "don't spend a large sum of money" because some things will take large sums of money.
So while paying a cleaner involves spending money on something you could, at least in theory, do yourself, does that make it not frugal? To what extent does circumstances matter? For example, what if you're crippled? Or rich? Or want to do something else with your time that means more to you?
I'd be very interested to hear others' thought. FG, can I propose this as a post idea? Maybe for a day when you don't have time to blog?
Sincerely, a dedicated employer of house-cleaning services.
@WilliamB, I doubt anyone would disagree with you, TBH.
Now, my Instacart habit is shameful, ha.
@WilliamB,
Life’s short. Being time frugal is a good thing.
@WilliamB, I like this idea for a post.
How would each of us define frugality?
@WilliamB, I agree. I think most people think frugal is the same as being cheap, but it's not. To me frugal means being careful what you spend your time and/or money on so that you get good value for it. A cheap person will simply not buy things or will buy the lowest priced item even if it's not the best quality. They will also not tip, or hire help simply because they want to hold onto their money, even though it would cost them more in time to do something themselves. (And I agree with everyone who hates cleaning the bathroom. I'd rather perform root canal on myself with a rusty screwdriver!)
@WilliamB, I spend a lot of time in a wheelchair; it is unpredictable one day to the next. I do not want to spend my good days cleaning so we have a housecleaner come once a week. She is a God send. I would give up anything except my husband to keep her.
@WilliamB - Thanks for those thoughts. For me, I have to also be frugal with my time. Paying someone to do something that takes away from something I want to do instead (especially if there are too many things to get done) or that leaves me in too my pain to function, is a form of frugal.
Kristen has done a lot of things over the years that she enjoyed and it provided for her family. They wouldn't be worth my time because I had so little of it (like making yogurt and bread). But that doesn't make either of us good or bad in our choices. It's how we apply to our own life situation that I think matters.
@AnnieH - I totally agree with your definitions of frugal vs. cheap! And I see this a lot - someone wants to be cheap and either doesn't get it done or does it halfway and it's worse than not doing it.
Hi, Nancy,
I'll second Suz on your Pitmaster pose - I love it!
Atlanta traffic would keep me home a lot too.
Also, I am with you on hiring some things out. I hire out mowing. I have over an acre of lawn and very limited time, plus I can no longer take the heat like I used to be able to do.
I don't especially like housework, but I do that myself because I'm able and somewhat willing to do that, as compared to mowing. My biggest dislike on housekeeping is dusting, followed by vacuuming. Bathrooms, unless they are nasty, don't bother me at all. I would happily trade off with Ann or Bee if we all lived close enough.
I also hate the investing game, and pay someone to handle what funds I have. Consider the cost of the class you dropped as an investment in your retirement future. After all, you learned something important there - you hate doing it on your own and are willing to pay for help.
Thanks for sharing.
@JD,
I garden quite a bit, but I don’t do lawn work. For years, I have paid a landscaper to mow, edge and trim hedges. I tend my flower and herb beds. I also have trouble tolerating the heat like I once did. However, I do think Florida is getting hotter.
I don’t mind dusting or vacuuming which is a good thing. I adopted a lab/Pyrenees mix. White hair would be everywhere if I ignored these chores.
@Bee, My sister has two Pyrs and she sweeps every single day.
@JD, @Bee, @Ann, etc., I'm starting to develop another angle on my "What if we all lived closer together?" fantasy: We could all swap out the parts of housework, groundskeeping, etc., that we don't want to do ourselves!
@A. Marie, I like that one. I volunteer to help organize things, help make sure everything has a place, and keep fridges clean and uncluttered.
@Bee,
I used to have a Pyrenees/Border Collie mix and he was a wonderful dog!
My 3-legged rescue has beagle-like fur, white with dark spots, and he leaves white hair everywhere. I have to vacuum daily, which I hate.
@A. Marie,
That would be amazing if I didn't have to dust and vacuum. Ah, we can dream at least.
@A. Marie,
A frugal commune of sorts.
As long as I'm in charge of telling people what to do, rather than having to do it. Hey, it's what I'm good at! Heh.
@JD, I have an elderly obese white beagle and we're supposed to get similar when the litter is old enough. That said, beagles' hair varies, just like humans'. The current one has luxuriant and long (for a beagle) hair, while my beloved Alfie, who went to his eternal reward five years ago, had a thin and hard coat. Both purebreds.
@A. Marie, ditto. My saying is "I am NOT vacuuming on the commune. I will do all the laundry and gardening. NO vacuuming at all!". lol. During covid we talked about people and what talents they could bring to it. I don't mind bathroom cleaning as I do a bit every day so it doesn't get gross.
@Rose, Hey, wait! I was going to put myself in charge of telling people in the frugal commune what to do! How about this---since you and I both have chronic illnesses, we set up a schedule to share the majordomo duties.
@Lindsey, Firm but fair. I also don't mind preparing ingredients etc if I can sit down while doing so. But no one gets to laugh at my abysmal knife skills, of which at my age I've decided the hell with it.
@WilliamB, same here. I'm a fantastic organizer and declutterer. I'm also a memeber of the "I hate bathroom cleaning" group.
@Rose,
You prep, I'll cook! My knife skills are nothing you write home about, so no judgement from me. Deal!.
@JD - You got a lot of good discussion on your comment! But that's a great explanation of making the best choices you can. Before we moved here, our yard was super small and we paid to have it mowed. At $35 every other week, it wasn't worth our time to do it. Here, the yard is bigger but with Atlanta heat and being older, we don't want to do it.
And yeah, the cost of that investing class was worth it to find out we didn't want to do it ourselves.
@Rose - Beagle hair is tenacious! Even when I lived apart for a while for work, I still found it on my dress pants and they hadn't been home for quite a while. We actually had three dogs and I used to think they were trying to clone another one with all that hair.
Hi Nancy, I enjoyed reading your interview.
I love that you moved closer to your daughter and help with the grandchildren. Our first grandson just turned a month old, and I am so grateful that we live so close to each other that we can help out and I can get baby snuggles.
I totally agree with you that being frugal is about spending both time and money wisely. There are things that we could do ourselves that we choose not to because they are time consuming and difficult physically for us. But I don't feel bad about it since we are frugal in other parts of our lives, it gives us the freedom to choose to pay someone to do the things we don't like.
@Beverly - You are so right! Being frugal in other parts makes it possible to pay someone to do those other things for us. Thanks for the thoughtful comment.
Hi Nancy! I have several friends named Nancy, so I knew I'd like you. 🙂 You made me laugh out loud with your comment about eating breakfast out when both you and your husband are in a good mood. Good timing is an important skill.
I completely agree with you that frugality isn't just about spending money. I can't tell you how many patients I have treated who have fallen off ladders doing home repairs--if you aren't confident in your ladder skills, hire it out! Medical care for accidents is NOT frugal. The same goes for all sorts of situations where you may prefer to hire out help. You have to balance out financial expenses with the time/effort/energy/health/knowledge required to complete a task. Thanks for bringing that up!
@Kris - I'm glad you liked my comment about frugality is not just about spending money. I had a co-worker whose father fell off a ladder and died. As we've gotten older, there's things we just shouldn't be dong anymore.
And yes, good timing for talking to your significant other is an important skill! We started doing it once in a while after our daughter went to college, but as I worked more and more hours, we realized this was more important than what else we could spend that money on. Plus breakfast is an easy meal to get cheaply.
Nancy I love your post! I also like the idea of having breakfast and making do with the the time you have. My husband and I will do that once in a while as well. We will have a lunch/date day in the middle of the week. He's in Law Enforcement, so he's not a regular 9-5 guy. Since we are both in public service we haven't always made a huge amount of money either. It has also been tough over the years. I find it hard not to compare sometimes. My siblings all make way more than I do and travel and live it up. But, then I have to remember that we spend way more quality time with our kids and they are well behaved, so there is that:)
@Jackie - You priorities are good - the husband and kids are the top of the list and it sounds like you're doing a great job of it too.
And adjusting to your husband's schedule is soooo good. Isn't it nice to go out and see each other and let someone else make the meal?
Interestingly enough, when we lived in Richmond (Virginia), there was a group of police officers who went out from time to time while in uniform with their spouses and their boss was there too (he was easy to identify). I thought it was great! He got to know the spouses and they seemed to have a nice lunch together when we saw them (more than once in a while too).
Hi Nancy -
I am so glad that you brought up the subject of frugality with both time and money. I think that is a very delicate balance and something that often gets missed when we are laser focused on saving dollars. There are several things that I have hired out during this last stage of home repairs as I know that completing them ourselves will cause additional delays and put pressure on us that is just not worth the savings.
@Angie - It is a delicate balance, but some things are not worth saving money for. That's a lesson you only learn the hard way though. Thanks for the example of when you've hired out! The delays definitely would not be worth doing it yourself.
Nancy, I love the part about "being frugal isn’t always about saving money. It’s also about spending both time and money wisely." So true!
Thanks for not making me feel so guilty about hiring out work I used to do.
I also hire a lady for light housekeeping, have hired painters, and yard workers. When I get really sore from arthritis, I realize that I'm no longer in my 20s or 30s and can't do as much as I used to anymore.
I was diagnosed with "horizontal vertigo" and I get dizzy, so my climbing ladder days are over, too. I used to climb like a monkey and clean out the gutters and such, but no more.
Your life in the Atlanta suburbs sounds just peachy (sorry I couldn't resist!). Thanks for sharing!
@Fru-gal Lisa - Thank you for the feedback! I wanted to bring that up as time and physical constraints are part of spending our money wisely too. I'm glad it helped you clarify the why of your own decisions.
Hi Nancy! I enjoyed your post and can relate to the moving and journaling. After we retired, we moved into a different neighborhood, but within 3 minutes driving or 10 minutes walking of our daughter. We, too help with picking up or taking to school or watching her girls while she and her husband get a new business up and running. I started to journal when I retired, and have found it not only enjoyable to go back and see what was going on at a particular time, but sometimes to confirm when we did a house project, made a big purchase, etc.
@Addy - It's nice living closer to them. We get to spend time with our daughter too and often at last minute (hey! want to go out for supper!). We're certainly closer to our grandchildren than if we weren't here.
I've sometimes used my journal to confirm a house project or big project, but the problem was in some years I barely wrote - about 15 years ago, it was only eleven pages! Ugh. Although I was working a lot of overtime that whole year. I did do much better after that.
I always knew what years I got a bonus at work. Those were the years of the big house projects. No fancy vacations for us when we needed new windows or a new furnace.
Nancy,
I love the line that "happiness is homemade" and your decision to be happy no matter the financial circumstances. That's a hard choice, but a wise one. And it applies to all financial circumstances. I worked for and with individuals with huge incomes and assets. So many were incredibly unhappy and outright miserable (for numerous reasons) and I was amazed because they had a lot besides money (resources, control over their work and home life, etc. that many of us did not. They could and did outsource and hire others and had plenty of free time. But none of that clearly mattered.)
And I applaud your awareness that saving and being financially conscious (I'm not a fan of "frugal" because of negative connotations.) is about more than saving money. Time, resources and the quality of our life must direct how we spend and on what.
I love how your family is your priority and I suspect this goes along way in ensuring good memories and good times no matter how much you spend or do not.
I am sorry you have had to listen to the unsolicited comments/criticisms of others who do not understand nor appreciate your decisions. Ignore them. It's none of their business in the first place even if that includes some family members.
Are there any free or low-cost entertainment out of the home options anywhere near you? It has to be expensive to drive/park into any major city like Atlanta.
Thanks for sharing. Love your family pix.
@Irena, your perspective that "frugal" has negative connotations is interesting to me. I think the word is an excellent and positive choice, because "cheap" is the negative word in my vocabulary. "Financially conscious" is also good, although a little fancy for this country bumpkin.
We are out here reclaiming "frugal". lol
I think it's better than "scrooge" or "tightwad", at least. 😉
@Central Calif. Artist Jana, I used to love watching the Frugal Gourmet and some of his recipes remain family favorites decades later. So "frugal" has no negative connotation for me.
@Rose, I never saw it, but believe calling it the Financially Conscious Gourmet might have kept it from catching on.
@Irena - I love the thoughtfulness of your comment! And the feedback to my post. I do agree that having money doesn't mean your happy. It often seems like the people around us either wanted so badly to prove they had to or pretend they had it, they didn't enjoy the life they had. But we did get called a lot of names (in addition to the talking behind our back) about our financial choices.
There are free and low cost options around us. There are two very nice parks close by that I walk at frequently. We have several lovely thrift shops and while I don't buy much, I like to go in and browse the used books. The local churches will sometimes have free or low cost concerts which are fun also. But everything else is at least a 30 minute drive away. It might not be expensive or have to pay for parking, but it's not close by either.
Nancy’s sentiments I could really relate to. Being frugal does not mean we pay for things to be done. I hire out all my painters, window cleaners, lawn care, pooper scooping and my handyman that takes care of all my house needs. I do not make much, but have lived frugal to afford to have these things done for me. Thank you Nancy for sharing your very interesting life story.
@Laurie - You're welcome! Thank you for the comment.
I forgot about the pooper scooper! I started using a service when my husband was on an extended trip (I was not spending my weekend scooping the yard and it wasn't terribly expensive). He griped about paying for that, then decided he didn't want to do it either. The guy who owned the company said that agreed with his experience - the wife started it because she didn't want to clean the yard, the husband complained about spending the money, then decided he didn't want to do it either.
Nancy, I enjoyed your post and your take on personal choices. I liked how you and your husband would have breakfast dates and planning meetings. And I'm with you on the use of a financial advisor. Your daughter and her family are so lucky to have you just down the street (and vice versa). Thanks for giving us a glimpse into your life!
@MB in MN - Yeah, that financial advisor thing was a bit of a wake-up call. Despite what we spent on that, we just hated every part of it.
I'm glad you enjoyed the post!
I don't know what part of Minnesota you live in, but a funny story. We moved from the Twin Cities to Rochester, New York. Some co-workers rushed over my first day to warn me how miserable the winters were there. I listened to them, pretending to be wide-eyed and slack-jawed, then announced where I'd moved from. And yes, I did have winter clothing, a two-stage snowthrower, and an all wheel drive car. And I knew how to drive it in the snow too. I just ruined their fun. It was great!
What a gift you are giving your daughter! I hope your time with your grandchildren is a blessing to you all.
My husband has been on kick with various smokers, and the benefits are so tasty for us! Have you watched the show Pitmasters? It’s fun 🙂 a little cheesy.
@Caitlie - I've watched Pitmasters and it was fascinating. Another good one on Netflix is Barbeque Showdown. The contestants really pulled together to help each other even though competing and wow, did they ever stretch themselves! And the judges gave good feedback too.
@Nancy, thank you for letting us peek into your life today! Here are my thoughts:
1. Your origami is mind-blowing and would lead me to believe that you were an engineer rather than a CPA.
2. I looked up the Big Green Egg. It seems to fall into a category of Luxuries that Improve Life, which is one of the points of being frugal.
3. YES, frugality applies to both time and money.
4. You must have experienced Winter Weather Whiplash with your move south.
5. I think you and your husband are adaptable and adventuresome and wise in your decisions.
6. Paying a financial advisor sounds a little off to me (of course I am missing the details). We use a company known as a "fiduciary" to do our investing because they take a percentage of our investments (1% maybe?) which means if we do well, then they do too. There are no fees—set up, hourly, sales commissions, etc.
7. How exceedingly rude of people to give you grief over your frugal ways. I will assume that they feel guilty about their own wastefulness and indulgences, are probably in debt (unless independently wealthy and clueless about real life), or that they are trying to weasel things out of you because they feel entitled. Or maybe they are testing you to see if you really mean what you say and do.
8. "Happiness is homemade" is a piece of timeless wisdom.
@Central Calif. Artist Jana, Paying a financial advisor a flat fee is usually much cheaper with similar results than paying a commission. I personally would never work with a commission-only broker.
@Central Calif. Artist Jana, Yes! - thank you for bringing up Nancy's amazing origami tessellation; I forgot to say how amazing that is!
@Suz, and @ Central Calif. Artist Jana,
I thought the same thing! I've never heard of origami tesselations, but what a beautiful example Nancy's photo shows!
@Central Calif. Artist Jana - Wow, thank you for such a thoughtful reply!
Yes, the financial advisor is a flat fee arrangement and not a commission of sales. That stops the churning of the account and the guys we use are into long-term thinking, not a quick buck. They also helped us to get our life insurance and debts in line as well.
Since we moved to Richmond, Virginia first, the weather wasn't quite as big a change. Richmond still had four seasons, with a fair amount of snow and ice. Here in Atlanta, it's quite a bit milder. If it snows, it's only for a few minutes.
As for my origami, most of the people who do it work in STEM somehow - math teachers, math professors, scientists, software developers. I'm one of the few not in a STEM career. It's pretty hilarious too as they think I must be a linear thinker and I'm not. I did a lot of problem solving in my career and it applies to origami too.
Thanks again for clarifying my post back to me!
Are those hounds? Looks like a redbone and? Can't tell from the pic...
I do foster for the hound rescue out here in California, but many of the hounds come from the southern states where they are often just 'thrown away' after hunting season.
@Allison,
What do you find is the most challenging part of rehoming a hound?
@Allison, That makes me so sad. My beloved Betsy, who is three different coonhound breeds, was found starving, like a skeleton, wandering alone in Arkansas.
Current Rescue Pup, who I wish I could keep because he is perfect in every way but I don't think I can handle/afford four dogs, is obviously a coonhound mix from Tennessee. If I hadn't already committed to a pup from a breeder before I ever saw him (looking terrified and babyish in a high kill shelter), no way would I let anyone else have him.
@Allison, We have the exact same problem with sled dogs who don't live up to the racer's standards. It makes my blood boil, especially because huskies are not the best house pets so often hard to rehome. I love dogs but I would not be able to live with a husky.
@Lindsey,
Just curious - is it because huskies require so much exercise that they make poor house pets? Are they high strung? Or just energetic, and get bored if not kept busy?. (I have no desire to adopt one, though they are beautiful).
@Allison - He has a red nose, not a black one. It's a Vizsla. I will say though that I've mistaken the redbone hounds for the Vizsla's until I learned the nose was the marker.
We have a lot of trouble with beagles getting left behind after hunting season, especially when I lived in Virginia. Vizsla's don't get dumped as much and the Vizsla rescue is super active. I got mine as a puppy as we had no experience with dogs and didn't know how to help an older dog who came with baggage. At this time, we don't want dogs anymore, but I'd do a beagle rescue if I change my mind.
Thank you for writing, Nancy! Your granddaughter looks confident and well-loved with her grandfather. I agree strongly with choices you have made as your own business to be frugal in your own circumstances.
Do you miss the Chicago area? I suspect Atlanta doesn't have the Empire Carpet guy commercials....
@Heidi Louise - I do miss the Chicago area. It's so much more robust than Atlanta in terms of public transportation and things being accessible. But it's changed also and not for the better.
I forgot about the Empire Carpet guy! And of course, there's no Lou Malnati's pizza either.
Nancy, thank you so much for sharing. I completely agree about frugality being so much more than saving money. I'm so happy that you all get to spend so much time with your daughter and grandchildren.
@Amanda in VA - Thank you!
very interesting post. thanks for sharing. am so glad you and your husband get to enjoy your daughter and grandchildren. i hope your dogs live a very long life. pets are the best.
the cafeteria at my job always had better food than i could make. and a lot of the time the servers would give me extra. i was always polite and appreciative. hardly ever brought my lunch to work. but i never needed a car or air conditioning. my NYC apt is an oven in summer. but the worst is mostly august.
all the best to you.
@Anita Isaac - I wouldn't bring my lunch either if I had your arrangement! I had have a few good cafeteria's over the years, but they were expensive ($10 to $15 per lunch). Breakfast out with my husband was just a few dollars more than that and more worth my money.
Hello Nancy so nice to meet you. And your life seems very tailored and balanced for your husband and you.
I love the fact you live down the street from your grandchildren. We live 30 minutes away which is definitely not far but traffic and construction, going on 5 years now, make the drive challenging.
I tell myself I am keeping my driving skills sharp driving in difficult traffic.
I love your breakfasts get togethers. My husband and I have fallen into this since he retired. Starts the day off right.
Regarding cleaning the house I am seriously considering having someone come and clean my floors. I can't get down on my hands and knees for long periods of time and I can't find a good mop that works how I want it to.
@karen - I never had a house cleaner until we moved here, but I'm finding the same. It's too hard on my knees and I don't have the energy for it either.
I'm the same as you with the driving - I do it to keep my skills sharp, but I dislike it more and more. We considered living somewhere else in Atlanta, but decided we'd be in the car too much to come over and help out our daughter. Since this was a nice house, it was worth living down the street.
Hi Nancy, Great photos of you and your DH and sweet Grand. The Pitmaster one of you made me smile and wow the meats look good!
Your priorities are well in order, envious relatives be darned. I liked your time vs. money explanation, which is spot-on for me.
But my favorite thing is "Happiness is homemade." And you underscore that big truth by saying you and your DH decided to be happy no matter the circumstances. People are usually as happy as they decide to be. How nicely you two fit together!
@Erika JS - Thank you! What a lovely compliment! My husband and I have been a couple for over 50 years. We know we grew up and matured together and I think that's made a big difference for us.
Thanks for sharing, Nancy! I love your phrase that happiness is homemade. I hope my kids can learn that before they fly the nest.
Glad to have you participate and share with us!
@Ruth T - Thank you Ruth! It's a hard lesson learning to be as happy as you want to be and I have family that never has learned that. It's too bad too.
I know i'm in the minority, but I really enjoy cleaning my house. It's mine. I paid for it. The cleaning and up keep makes me appreciate it more....AND I think it's good exercise 😉 Health is wealth ....it makes perfect 'cents' to me...hah
@FitnrichCali - I never loved cleaning, but I did it until we moved to Atlanta. But it leaves me too achy and fatigued, so I'm glad I can pay to have it done.
My grandmother used to say that people liked to either cook or clean. She was in the cleaning camp, even though she was a good cook. Me, I'd rather cook. I think it's hilarious though how true her statement is!
So nice to meet you, Nancy! I love your positive and frank attitude on life. I love the "happiness is homemade". It may become a wall mural!
The Kamado style grill is #1 on my wish list when I go to estate sales. I have an old fashioned hand made Traeger, made over 30 yrs ago by the Traeger brothers. It is a work horse, but time consuming. I took a grill class and they used a ceramic, a smoker and a gas grill.
I too, have journaled for years. I sometimes look back, but mostly journal to keep track
of all of the daily stuff that I am working on. I journal right before going to bed and it
clears my mind for dreaming of pleasant things rather than things I need to do or worries.
Your origami is beautiful! For 4 years we hosted the same Japanese boy during the summer months (signed up for cultural exchange thru 4-H when I was 14 and our entire family fell in love with him and he came every year after even through 8 years of college).
His mom would send us beautiful origami art and we would send her summer weight cotton quilts.
@Blue Gate Farmgirl - I love the story of your exchange student! What a lovely trade of affection with the origami and the quilts - how nice!
Thanks for the detailed note and sharing your life back. Sometimes - not often - an Egg will come up in the Buy Nothing group also. They're a lot of fun, but not everyone has the patience for it. But the Traeger's are the same - it takes time to master them but so worth it. How fun that you have an original one!
Hello! I am from Peoria, now 30 minutes south of Atlanta. We have been here 10 years, and I love it. If you haven't found it, Dekalb Farmers Market has good spices VERY cheap. I go a couple times a year, but always go on a weekday if you can, and get the heck out of ATL before 3:00
@michelle - Yep, I've gone to the DeKalb Farmer's Market off and on since my daughter moved out this way. There's all kinds of good things to buy there and foodies like my husband and I, we can spend a good part of the morning there. We have to plan it around taking our granddaughter to and from preschool, but thankfully we're not too far away.
Happiness is Homemade! So insightful - Thank you Nancy, you have always been an inspiration - delightful to learn a little more about you!
@Felicia Raphel - Awww. . . thank you. I miss working with you too.
Glad to meet you! Bless you for your honesty! Our story has much in common with yours. One family just clueless how hard we were struggling, then critical when we couldn’t afford expensive vacations with them. Our other family baffled we would work so hard for graduate degrees instead of making ready money (at McDonalds). We earned our way to a stable, debt free and secure situation. And like you, sharing the effort and deciding to be happy has made all the difference. I am grateful for my frugal friends, my faith community that has always encouraged frugal use of the Lord’s gifts, and my frugal Scandinavian and German ancestors who never threw away what was useful. While I wasn’t looking, my “poverty skills” became assets in new ways—cooking, sewing, knitting and crochet, toxin free cleaning, gardening, mechanical repair skills. There is no boredom!
@Kristina - thank you so much for sharing your story! My sister-in-law's did a similar thing of making fun of me for finishing college and then studying for the CPA exam while they were working, had an apartment, furniture and cars. Oh, and they could go out and party all weekend. I couldn't do that either between studying and working full-time in a public accounting firm.
And here we are all those years later, doing good with our life. But it was a long game and they didn't understand that.
What an immense blessing for your grandchildren to have you (and for your daughter obviously). I was close to my grandparents and my child is close to hers and it is just wonderful when you live close and can be present in their daily life.
Also, so true about "happiness is homemade". I recently stayed in a lower-than-my-home-standard-place and it didn't matter that it wasn't the highest standard. What mattered was how the people staying there were doing and interacting with each other.
@Maggie - My husband and I realize how much closer we are to them by being here all the time and not just coming several weeks a year. Having our granddaughter every weekday morning has been precious time too. Her brothers are so jealous when she goes home and tells them what she did before school (I think she makes it sounds like she did it all day though).
Thanks for sharing the story about how people actually acted despite the home not being what you would want. I'm glad you had that awareness to appreciate it for what it was.
Nancy, as a fellow member of the Unchained Writers family, and someone who lives near Atlanta, I always felt a connection, but after reading this believe I know you even better. For me your most important shared fact is that it is important to spend both time and money wisely - after all, that is how we show ourselves and the whole world what is truly important to us.
As to family members being difficult about not being able to afford things: when my husband went back to finish his B.S. in physics, we were living on the G.I. Bill. Adjusted for inflation, that would be $1708 in current money. My dad helped us some, but mostly we lived on that plus part time jobs. No student loans. One year my sister-in-law informed us (didn't ask) that the other siblings had decided that the Christmas present for their parents was a White Mountain ice cream maker and that our part would be $35 (currently would be $149). We simply couldn't do it, so we didn't and we didn't explain or apologize. The total expenditure for Christmas presents for us and our son was about that amount.
We've always been the less prosperous among both sides of the family. It can be embarrassing at times (such as big, fancy weddings, etc.), however, we did spend a lot of money going back home to visit. The only ones who came down to visit us were my parents and sister and brother-in-law. Most of the time it doesn't bother me being poor, but I don't like having my nose rubbed in it.
Oh the food in the Green Egg looks yummy ! I also have someone clean our house bi-monthly. It started when I worked constantly but we kept her on when we retired.
I still shop, clean, cook, do laundry but now use my down time for Bible study, reading , workouts, calligraphy, embroidery and journaling.