Meet a Reader | M from the PNW
1. Tell us a little about yourself
I’m in my late 30’s; I grew up and have always lived in the Pacific Northwest.
My husband and I have been married for 20 years and have two school-aged kids. My husband works a pretty demanding job and I currently am a homemaker/stay-at-home mom, and do some freelancing in my spare time.
I would consider myself a lifelong learner, and I am always willing to teach myself something new. Being open to learning to do something yourself can be very helpful to living a more frugal life.
2. How long have you been reading The Frugal Girl?
I can’t remember how I discovered your blog, some random Google search led me here and I subscribed to your RSS feed. It’s been many years, though I comment very infrequently.
3. How did you get interested in saving money?
We got married very young (high-school sweethearts) and when we were both working we made some poor financial decisions. Luckily, not poor enough to wreck our lives, but basically we lived paycheck to paycheck—our philosophy was "As long as the bills are paid, spend it all."
We didn’t even really vacation; it was mostly frequent eating out and retail spending. It’s amazing how much “little splurges” add up.
When my husband finished his apprenticeship program we wanted to start a family and so we had to make some real changes to the way we were living to survive on one income.
I’m thankful we had to learn how to cut back—how ridiculous was it to have dual full-time incomes/no kids and not save a cent?! I kick my past self but at least our young dumb stage didn’t last too long.
And as hindsight is so clear, I’m sure there is something I do today I’ll look back and wonder WHY!? Ha.
4. What's the "why" behind your money-saving efforts?
I want to be able to enjoy this time with our kids while they’re young, and yet still be able to save for our future. It’s such a balancing act because I want to do it all!
And we can’t—we can’t upgrade to a larger home and pay our mortgage off early and contribute more to retirement, especially since a priority is to be able to travel and have adventures while we’re all young and in good health, and while the kids want to spend this time with us.
So we just allocate and try to balance all our needs and wants.
5. What's your best frugal win?
Learning how to cook well has saved us a significant amount of money, and made us healthier.
When I started my adult life I knew how to make spaghetti, grilled cheese, Kraft Mac and cheese, cold cereal… a restaurant sure sounds good when those are your meal options, haha. Over the years I’ve become a good home cook.
Mostly anything I (or my family) want to eat I can make from scratch. I very much enjoy baking, and anytime there is an opportunity I’m trying something new in the kitchen.
Living within walking distance of our city library is another win. Not intentional, in fact when we purchased the house the library was in a different location miles away, but it’s been a huge boon for our family since it moved locations.
Also, thrifting—I very rarely buy new, it’s normally secondhand. I used to garage sale quite a bit for my kids’ toddler and preschool clothes but as they’ve gotten bigger and pickier I have better luck finding what they’ll wear in their size at the thrift store. (And better luck for us adults too.)
I'm super picky, I don't mind taking my time, and shopping with their preferences in mind because I don't want them to think ugh, used clothes! I want it to be what they want to wear within our budget!
My most recent thrifting score was a down coat I needed for my younger child for a backpacking trip. I went in thinking, last chance, I’ll have to buy one on eBay if I can’t find it today. And there it was, exactly what I was looking for!
Sorry, that was three frugal wins.
6. What's a dumb money mistake you've made?
Financing a fun car we didn’t need was an obvious dumb move in hindsight.
We did learn a lesson from that though: we prefer to save up and buy the car we need in cash. And neither of us is comfortable carrying debt beyond the mortgage.
A dumb money mistake that ended up working out was buying our house, maybe we call it a risk we would never take now.
Honestly, we were very young and too financially unsavvy to realize it was a huge risk at the time. We took out an 80/20 adjustable rate, interest-only mortgage in 2005 to buy a house at the very top of our budget.
It was during the run-up to the housing bubble and we were definitely panic shopping as we had been looking for a starter home for a year and the cost had gone up probably 50% on average in that time.
We refinanced both loans into a single standard mortgage just because the rate was going to adjust and it was incredibly fortunate timing because the market crashed shortly afterwards and we were underwater for years.
What seemed like a poor decision for years—while we were stuck and paying a mortgage on more than the house was worth—now seems like a risk that paid off.
Housing prices have gone absolutely bananas the last few years where we live and we have less than 10 years left on our mortgage with a payment that’s less than rent for a studio apartment here. (We did refinance again to a shorter term if you’re wondering how the math works on that).
Originally I imagined we would be able to upgrade to a “grown-up house" at some point, but with the prices being what they are we practice contentment here.
7. What's one thing you splurge on?
I think traveling, although we really do try to do it as frugally as possible.
A lot of our vacations are camping/backpacking out of our family sedan. If we go on a vacation where we’re staying somewhere I normally try to book a condo/airbnb with at least a kitchenette so we can cook most of our meals.
We’ve splurged quite a bit on quality (and compact) gear, it makes things safer, more comfortable, and fun. We’ve had such good times as a family hiking, kayaking, backpacking, climbing, skiing, and camping. And it builds grit and resilience in our kids.
8. What's one thing you aren't remotely tempted to splurge on?
Coffee shops! I prefer to make coffee at home although we splurge a bit on beans and different ways of making coffee; Chemex or Aeropress when I want to be fancy, drip when I want it to be easy. What we’ve spent on that stuff is minuscule compared to the cost of getting coffee out regularly.
Makeup. I have a skincare routine I follow, but I don’t wear much makeup.
‘New’ clothes. I always try to find it secondhand or go without (if it was a want).
Again… three things. Sorry!
9. If $1000 was dropped into your lap today, what would you do with it?
Some to the school fundraiser I just got an email about, and the rest to our high-yield savings account! Currently, we have a few home improvement projects and trips we’re saving for.
10. What's the easiest/hardest part of being frugal?
It is fairly easy for me to cut back on a lot of impulse spending when I am doing well on meal planning. There are so many fewer errands to run when you make a plan and stick with it—grocery store once a week, Costco every month or two. I try to buy what’s on my list and nothing else.
I miss eating out! It’s just not in our budget. We will go out for the occasional date night, but eating out as a family is very rare and happens mostly when we’re on vacation without access to a kitchen/camp stove.
Those times always remind me why we can’t fit this into our budget on the regular!
Our kids will buy lunch sometimes when they are with friends, they get a weekly allowance and they have to make sure to spend within their means on these outings.
Sometimes I’m just so tired of cooking though and wish I could justify picking up takeout for dinner!
11. Is there anything unique about frugal living in your area?
I’ve never lived anywhere else to compare! I’ve heard our thrifting scene is pretty good comparatively, and the “dress code” here is pretty casual.
If you like hiking, biking, kayaking, etc., there are lots of outdoor activities to do for free or the cost of a parking permit.
There’s certainly plenty of free produce to collect where we live. Lots of people around here have pretty great gardens, but we don’t have a good space on our lot for more than a few little things. I like canning excess fruit.
A few mornings spent with those invasive Himalayan blackberries can easily set you up with jam for a year.
12. Did you ever receive any financial education in school or from your parents?
I learned how to write a check and balance a checkbook, was encouraged to buy a house as soon as possible, and took one year of accounting in high school, but other than that, really nothing! I hope to send our kids out into the world with more knowledge than we started with.
13. Do you have any tips for frugal travel or vacations?
I answered a bit about how we frugal travel above, but sometimes when we are chatting with people about vacation they sound fairly appalled at what we consider to be a nice time.
I think perhaps everyone has to consider what they want out of a vacation and figure out how to achieve that within the budget they have.
How often you vacation, for how long, to what destination, how many paid tours/activities you want to do, how much you want to eat out, quality of accommodations...these are all things that will dictate the price and need to be considered. Most of us can’t have it all!
If you know credit cards are something you can be disciplined with (never carry a balance!!) earning points off your necessary purchases can help to cover your airline tickets. We’ve been able to cover all our recent plane tickets with the points we’d saved up.
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M, I love, love, love all the pictures you sent it. You have an eye for capturing the beauty of nature, and I love the way you notice things like little mushrooms or a beautiful spider web.
I have been to Banff before, but because I hail from the east coast, it was a long, long three-day drive to get there. I imagine your driving time to Banff is much shorter! We did the hike by Lake Louise in the summer, and I clearly remember that it was snowing up at the height of the hike.
Sometimes the "You can't have it all" philosophy is framed in a negative way, but I like that you are using it in a realistic way, not a defeatist way. It is true that we all have to make choices, and radically accepting that fact frees us to make prioritization decisions.
M, I agree with Kristen - your photos are gorgeous!
I love your phrase "practice contentment". It really is a trait that most of us have to learn and practice. Life here in Israel is pretty messed up, with most people one beat short of suffering from PTSD, and I find myself practicing contentment with the little things on a daily basis. Sometimes it's enough to be thankful that I open my eyes in the morning. And many times, I see something pretty in nature and think, "ah, Kristen would probably photograph that". Funny how much this community has become a part of my chain of thoughts, without having met any of you IRL. Thankful for virtual communities today 🙂
@Talia, love your comment! Fun to think of the virtual community represented here- spread out across the globe! 🙂
And nice to meet you, M!
@Talia,
Israeli's have so much in common with South Africans in that one strange way: many of us are struggling with low-grade or not-quite PTSD (for different root reasons, but same effect). It really is a thing, and what I have discovered, now that I live elsewhere, is that it takes quite a while to process through all that, but that practicing contentment is a big help. When I am annoyed over really small things, I remember how hard it *could* be, not to minimise legitimate issues or to imply that we aren't ever allowed to be anything other than thrilled with life, but just to keep perspective. It does really, really help!
@Caro, thanks for saying that. As someone who spent years of my childhood in beautiful South Africa, I know exactly what you're saying and where you're coming from! My life hasn't been free of triggers. But as you said, keeping perspective really does help. Dankie x
Aww, I love that you think of me when you see beauty in nature. 🙂
And yes, online friends can feel very real with enough time!
@Talia, you've been on my mind and heart since October. I'm sad that life is still messed up and am also glad that you commented today.
@MB in MN, thank you!
Your vacations sound lovely to me! And I love your photos. Banff is on the top of my places to visit.
Great photos, M! (With you, Kristen, and all the other talented photographers on board here, I find myself imagining what a Frugal Girl Photo Contest might be like.)
And don't kick yourself too hard over your earlier financial decisions. It sounds as though you're making a lot of good ones now.
It’s wonderful to meet you. Your photographs are beautiful. We hiked, camped and enjoyed the beach when our children were young. It was what we could afford to do, and we had fun. Twenty years later, my children who are now adults love the natural world and spend a great deal of time outdoors. When we plan a family vacation now, it still involves hiking.
@Bee, I love to hear that! I’m hoping our kids still love all these things when they’re older, it would be just fantastic to be able to keep camping with them even when they are adults.
Nice to meet you. And your pictures are so beautiful the macro (long vistas) and the micro (mushrooms).
We live on the east coast but our family spurge was traveling out West once a year. And yes like Bee both my children now choose to vacation outdoor in nature and get outdoors every chance they get.
I think you are making great memories with your family that will last you a lifetime.
Nice to meet you. I cannot have it all either and that is AOK! I would say I am totally fine with this 362 days a year which is pretty good.
Beautiful! I miss living in the PNW.
I will say, there are several institutional things that can make living there more frugal than other parts of the country, especially the park systems, public transportation, and the weather. The ability to get around without a car saved us thousands of dollars every year. That’s very difficult in the Midwest, even in large cities like Chicago or Minneapolis, with local governments who don’t view cycling/walking routes as critical infrastructure to be plowed.
(Housing is definitely not one of those!)
@ThatMom, Not having lived anywhere else makes me blind to all the frugal benefits of the PNW! Moving here now would probably not be a financial option for us because of the housing costs. I’m super thankful we didn’t have to move away from our hometown.
Loved the post, and your photos are beautiful. Banff has been on my bucket travel list forever, but this definitely pushed it to the top!
@Hawaii Planner, it’s very beautiful there. We stayed in the Lake Louise campground and it was lovely.
Enjoyed the beautiful photos! Seeing them was like taking a virtual mini-vacation!
I didn't know cacti or lizards up in your neck of the woods looked so much like the ones here in Texas.
Your fruit preserves and pie looks delicious. I admire you for teaching yourself how to cook good meals from scratch. One suggestion for being tired of it: teach your kids, and let each one have one night a week where they plan and carry out the dinner menu (if they're old enough to do so) -- or help you in the kitchen (if they're not). I think the Economedes, the "world's cheapest family," has information on this, either on their website or in one of their books.
@Fru-gal Lisa, Thanks!
They are old enough, and this is such a good suggestion. Summer would be a great time of the year to work on this as well, when they aren’t tired and needing to wind down from school during dinner prep time.
Hi, M. Nice to "meet" you. 🙂
One thing I do to be ready for those days I REALLY don't want to cook, is make a double batch of a meal that freezes well. I try to have one or two things my family really loves in the freezer. If I am out of freezer meals, we have a few "cheat" meals; like a chicken meal deal from the grocery store, or a meal kit from Sam's or Costco. They are more that preparing from scratch, but far less than eating out.
I lived a few years in the PNW. I miss those amazing summers and the enormous blackberries!
@Cheryl 90, Summer after 7-9 months of overcast and rain is incredible! And yes, though I feel sorry for the property owners constantly battling brambles the blackberries are delicious.
Great post! Thanks for sharing.
Nice to meet you, M! Your photos are just lovely, you have such a fun perspective.
Banff is on my all-time favorite places to visit list. Such great hikes!
For decades now I have been making batch dinner starters: 2 lbs of taco meat, mixed with beans seasoned and vacuum packed into dinner sized portions will make burritos, enchilada filling, taco salads, tacos, tamale casserole and super nachos.
I do the same for seasoned stew meat that turns into stroganoff, shipwreck, stew and stuffed cabbage casserole. A good pot of marinara is the start to so many wonderful hearty meals. Burn out is real, having a "crutch (meal starter)" in the freezer ready to go is such a help.
@Blue Gate Farmgirl, Great ideas! I have occasionally double batched freezer meals and then they almost immediately get used, I should make it more of a practice!
M love your photos. Also your comments about not upgrading your current house. My husband and I are also in the same situation. We are three years from paying off our current home. It needs some major upgrades, but other than that and an additional added garage we will probably continue to live here for quite some time. This is our home and I can't imagine giving it up for something different.
And vacations are the same here. While we do things a little differently I think I feel the same way about being content with where we are at with vacations. My husband was just telling me while we were away that his co-workers couldn't believe that we were just going 3-4 hours away and staying in a cabin for four nights. I asked him what they were doing and of course it was Disney, cruises and flights to states quite a few over from us. And I have traveled a little bit in my time, but I think what we do works for us. My husband has some major anxiety over travel and I can't imagine what it will be like when he flies again. It's been since 2003. Yikes!
Thanks again for the post:)
@Jackie, yes, I think with so many frugal choices it’s so much about the attitude I bring to it. I could find a way to be discontent about many areas of my life, but I don’t want to live in discontentment! Now that I type this I think that’s why I love reading Kristen’s blog so much, she has such a great practice of gratitude and contentment :).
Aww, that made me smile!
@M, Couldn't agree with you more.
I just came here to say your photos are a treat. Just so beautiful.
Nice to "meet" you! Thank you for all the beautiful photos. I'd love to see Banff in person someday- wow!
I think we all need to practice contentment on a daily basis. Thanks for sharing your insights!
Thank you for sharing your life and photos with us. I especially love the mushroom one.
M, thanks for sharing your story! It's my dream to live within walking distance of a good library. Paradise! How cool that yours popped up unexpectedly. There's a small building near us that has changed hands several times as the businesses go under, and our family dreams about what we'd love to see go in next - most of us say: library please. (My husband says: pancake house.)
Hi M!
I love how you said, "We practice contentment here" in relation to your house. I feel that often. My kitchen is so tiny. My oldest kids wants her own room. There are lots of things I like about where we live, but there are some things we can't change and we practice contentment there.
At the moment, we're about 15 minutes away from our campsite! First camping trip of the summer. We don't backpack, but we tent camp. I enjoy hearing how others camp, too!
Thanks for sharing with us!
My family took very few vacations growing up- we usually visited Mom’s brother and sister in cities 3-5 hours away and took Granny and Grandpa with us- yes, 8 in one car. My husband hated camping but all 3 kids did a little with church camp and scouts. We did have a few awesome vacations- Paris and London, Hawaii, San Francisco and Yosemite, and Boston. They were costly but great memories and no regrets. My husand was very poor as a child and I’m sure that shaped him.
M
Nice to meet you and I also love your beautiful photos. I once visited Poulsbo, Washington and couldn’t get over how green everything was. Thanks for the peek into your fascinating and fulfilling life.
VickyMac
M, I really enjoyed your post. Thanks so much for sharing a bit of your life and all the beautiful pics!
Hi M from PNW, I have a burning question about the photo captioned "Alpine Wildflowers". It looks just like Mineral King in Sequoia National Park. Is it??
Great life you have built for yourselves - thank you for sharing your story and photos.
Nice to meet you, M from PNW! You have a beautiful life. I especially appreciate that "Mostly anything I (or my family) want to eat I can make from scratch." What a huge gift for your family!
thank you for posting. love our photos they are exquisite. you are so lucky to have married our hi8gh school sweetheart. i didn't have a single date in high school. and my only college date was a disastrous set-up by my college roommate. i went to an all girls school. my mom wanted that for me. all the best to you and your family.
Thank you for sharing. Lovely photos. Banff and Lake Louise are in my backyard being an Albertan.
I really enjoyed your post. It sure sounds like your family enjoys spending time together. You have beautiful photos of some of the places I'd love to see some day. Lake Louise is definitely on my bucket list! I spent some time in the Pacific Northwest as a young adult, and I think you live in a beautiful part of the country!
Kudos to you for working hard to live within your means!
Nice to meet you, M! Thanks for the wonderful photos. They remind me of the happy years my DH and I lived in Seattle, eating blackberries from the bushes in the alleys, all free.
I get tired of cooking, too, but it is the only way to eat well and stay healthy. When I'm especially sick of it I make sandwiches, and keep salads and pickles handy. No one dares complain! Pot luck dinners with our friends help too, as inflation is driving a lot of people into the kitchen who used to buy carryout or go out.
Contentment is a beautiful thing especially accompanied with a delicious homemade cup of coffee!
Why do so many have it in their head that once their child(ren) turn 18 (or some other magical age) that aforementioned child(ren) will NOT want to travel with him/her/them? Cripes, just got back from a trip with my 35 and 38 year old kids. And I should mention they paid their own way. My advice is to take frugal, and I do mean frugal vacations with your child(ren). No college debt for child(ren) AND parental unit(s) is the goal.