Meet a Reader | Emily from North Carolina
Hello everyone! Today we're meeting a reader who was hesitant to participate in this series since frugality doesn't come naturally to her.
But I love that she decided to participate; I know our community here runs the gamut from people who were born frugal to people who have to work really hard to save.
And I love to have our Meet a Reader interviews reflect that. 🙂
1. Tell us a little about yourself
I’m a professor, wife, and mom of three kids– two elementary schoolers and a middle schooler.
The five of us live in North Carolina in a wonderful older neighborhood with our little beagle and three fish.
I work a lot and love my job, but I’m always trying to balance my career and my family. I think I do a better job some days than others.
I love our kids and our life, and never want to forget what a blessing it is to be able to enjoy watching our kids grow up and become such interesting people.
2. How long have you been reading The Frugal Girl?
I’ve been reading The Frugal Girl since my oldest was a baby, so almost 13 years now! I found it while looking for ways to save money, and love how kind and warm you are, Kristen.
The community in the comments is also really great– full of wisdom, advice, and kindness.
3. How did you get interested in saving money?
It’s been a winding road.
I was hesitant to submit a “meet a reader” because I was definitely not born with a frugal gene. My parents are careful with money and my brother is a big saver, but I have always been a spender.
I like to treat other people (and myself) to nice things. My husband is the same way and comes from a similar family of savers.
Money was tight when we were first married and I was still in school, but when I finally got a full-time job making a good income we were horrified to find that we were still spending up to our income without being able to save anything.
That was an eye-opening experience that led to some tough conversations and a lot of change. I’m glad, though, because since then we’ve done a lot better managing our priorities and savings.
4. What's the "why" behind your money-saving efforts?
This is a really tough question– I hate worrying about money, and I am really good at worrying.
If we are able to set and follow a budget and we have money in savings, then I know that we’ll be ok when I get a haircut or buy new shoes for the kids or if a tree falls on our house (a constant fear!). That peace of mind is important to me.
Another big part of my “why” is the environment. My faith is an important part of my life, and I believe that we are called to be good stewards of the earth.
Among other things, I think that it is important to consume less. I want to be responsible with the things that I have been given and I see frugality as being a broader concept rather than focusing solely on saving money.
Going to the library, cooking at home (and trying to avoid food waste), walking instead of driving, and buying less are all ways to save money but are also better choices for the health of our planet.
5. What's one thing you splurge on?
Groceries! We like food and I love to cook.
Groceries are a big part of our monthly budget, but cooking is a creative endeavor for me and brings us all a lot of satisfaction.
It’s fun to try new foods and learn about different ways of cooking, and I am really happy that we get to do that.
6. What's one thing you aren't remotely tempted to splurge on?
New technology– we treat our possessions well, use our things for a long time, and are still really happy with our first-generation iPad and older cell phones.
Our home computer is pretty old, too, and was an open-box deal and it’s perfectly fine. We’re starting to have a little tension there with a middle schooler in the house now, which is leading to interesting conversations about priorities and spending decisions.
7. What frugal tips have you tried and abandoned?
I tried making a lot of things from scratch– bread, cookies, clothing, yogurt– but at this point in my career my time is worth too much to spend so much of it working on things like that unless it’s for fun.
That’s been an interesting adjustment to make and I still feel weird thinking that way, much less saying it out loud.
I do like baking at home with the kids, but we definitely don’t have homemade cookies in our school lunchboxes every week.
Your post about not needing to make yogurt is one that I reread on occasion. 🙂
8. What single action or decision has saved you the most money over your life?
I (miraculously) listened to the college advisor from my hometown state school and attended it instead of an out-of-state school. I received a full scholarship for my undergraduate degree and then was funded for my graduate degrees.
Because of that, I was able to earn my master's and Ph.D. without ever paying a penny in tuition or borrowing any money for living expenses.
That was, hands down, the best financial decision I’ve ever made and I hope that similar opportunities are available for our children so that they can also start their lives without debt.
9. How has reading the Frugal Girl changed you?
Reading your site has really helped me develop a mindset of gratitude.
It’s easy to get caught up in wanting to have nice and new things or keeping an eye on what other people are doing, and Kristen’s blog is a great place for me to remind myself to be grateful no matter the circumstances.
My hope is that I can pass that attitude along to my children so that they can focus on finding joy in their own lives instead of comparing themselves to others.
One way I try to do this is by sharing the joy in the little things. It snows here maybe once a year, and when it does, we always make snow cream (Here's the recipe we use.)
Setting out the mixing bowl when there’s snow in the forecast is a fun and relatively frugal way to anticipate snow, and it helps us enjoy the cold weather even when we’re finished playing outside.
10. Which is your favorite type of post at the Frugal Girl and why?
I love the food posts– both the old food waste Fridays and the grocery/meal planning posts.
It’s been really interesting and informative to watch those posts change as your children grew up, Kristen, and I try to keep that in mind as we’re starting to send the kids off for different things and need to build more flexibility into our meal plans.
I’ve worked really hard to stop wasting food, and I think we do a pretty ok job!
11. Is there anything unique about frugal living in your area?
Our particular neighborhood is very walkable, with public transportation options and a lot of parks.
This has helped us over the years as we never were tempted to buy a playset for our yard, we don’t drive a lot, and we can have pretty inexpensive birthday parties and playdates for our kids at neighborhood parks.
There are a lot of free museums and different festivals to attend, as well, and we’re reasonably close to some nice lakes, the mountains, and the beach.
Since the weather is so nice here we can do free and/or inexpensive outside things almost all year. That’s not necessarily unique to our area, but we really do love it here.
_________
Emily, I'm so glad you felt brave enough to send in a submission! Yay!
I'm so honored that you have been reading here for so long, and I am very happy that as you read my blog, you've been able to take what works for you (food waste fighting, for example) and leave what doesn't (homemade yogurt).
And lastly, I wanted to say that the browning on your lemon chicken looks SO perfect. I'm hungry right now, and I want to eat all the cake, cookies, and chicken you included in your photos. 😉
Hi Emily! Making the choices every day that lead to a frugal lifestyle is much more laudable when it doesn't come naturally to you, so I applaud you for that. Also for that cake. It's five in the morning, and I'm sitting here thinking how nicely chocolate cake would go with my coffee . . .
@kristin @ going country, thanks!! It was interesting reflecting over all of our small, not very dramatic choices that we have made consistently. Also, one of our family traditions is birthday cake for breakfast until the birthday cake is gone!
@kristin @ going country,
you made me laugh, Kristin. It was around 11 am local time when I read today'sFrugal Girl. At around 11 am I usually have my second cup of coffee and I also thought how nicely a piece of Emily's chocolate cake would be.....
Emily, I enjoyed the interview and I think it is wonderful how you try to teach your children sensible spending habits and to value people for what they are not for what they have!
@Emily from NC, That's a great tradition! That birthday cake looks so good!! Thanks for sharing.
Hello, Emily. I agree with you about time being important. I can do most things from scratch. . . .but do I have time to? Sometimes the answer is yes, but many times it is no. (Often I wish to post a comment on The Frugal Girl, but many times I simply don't have time!)
@Jody S., thanks! It's hard to think that way, especially when I look around and see people doing interesting crafty/creative things. 🙂
I loved this post - I have the frugal gene but your reasons to save money are exactly the same as mine. So much of what you said resonated with me 🙂 even though we live in different continents. I also don't give a hoot for technology upgrades if what I have works, I am a chef and love cooking and eating and I too have found that life is too short to make some things from scratch (but sometimes it is worth it - so really depends on what it is). Food waste Fridays changed the way I stored and used my leftovers and thought about food waste. I still get a kick from saving food from going into the bin.
@Val, aw, thank you! What things do you think are worth making from scratch? I am really interested in what an actual chef thinks!!
Great to meet you, Emily. I agree that frugal choices are often good choices for the environment. Attempting to use all our limited resources well, from money to fossil fuels, is the mark of true frugality. Thanks for sharing!!!
@Bee, thanks for your kind words! I was really nervous!
Hi, Emily! I'm not naturally frugal either and I have always had beagles. And I agree with you that this blog and its community have fostered my feelings and practice of gratitude.
I think we learn the most from people unlike us, and Kristen and I could not be more different, but I've learned so much from her about looking for the good, trying to be more patient and kind with other people, and also not beating myself up for not being good at everything. For example, Kristen isn't a gardener and just accepts that, while I tend to be annoyed at myself for being imperfect.
@Rose, I totally get the annoyance factor-- I get that way, too! Also, beagles are such great dogs. 🙂
Thank you for sharing Emily. We are all different yet this blog has thrown us together to learn from and appreciate each other.
I can relate completely to your "Why", especially being responsible stewards of the earth.
I love the values you want to pass along to your kids.
@K D, thank you!!
Hi Emily, like you, many of us have a "winding road" frugality journey. I had not thought of it in those terms before reading this - so thank you! I tend to worry a bit too but finally having a spending plan/budget has relieved so much stress. You and your husband are wise to have slayed that dragon early in life.
@Elaine N, I don't know that the dragon has been slain, but we do a pretty good job of communicating about money now. 🙂 There's always more to learn (from people who are way better at this than we are).
Thank you so much for sharing, Emily! I am also in central NC and admit that a tree falling on my house is my #1 fear. They're everywhere! Stay safe this hurricane season!
@Lauren, you too! I try to remind myself that we have insurance and that's what it's for, but wow is it stressful sometimes!
Hello Emily!
Is that chicken piccata in the picture? I started making that last year and it's been an absolute hit whenever I serve it. I sometimes make it for friends who have been sick. It keeps so well.
So much of what you said resonated with me. You may not have been born with frugal genes but you acquired them on your own. Good job!
@Maria Zannini, it is a version of chicken piccata! I haven't frozen it yet to see how it does, but it was sooooo good! Thanks!
Hi, Emily,
That a couple of people who are missing "the frugal gene" still managed to realize their spending was out of hand, and then learned to control it, is wonderful. I know way too many people who spend all they earn, and have for decades, and still can't or won't face it and change their ways. They seem to trust that fate will somehow get them through retirement with no effort on their part. But you and your husband changed your future - congratulations!
The food looked so good and it made me hungry, as well. I had a hilarious beagle as a kid so I love the picture of yours.
Thanks for joining in and don't worry about not being naturally frugal. I think all of us have some non-frugal ways, even those of us who are generally frugal.
@JD, thanks so much! I'm always jealous of people who are naturally more frugal-- I think it would be lovely. 🙂
thanks so much for sharing. love your fur baby. loved all the photos. great that you went to a state school. your hometown sounds perfect. all the best to you and your family.
I'm just saying - anyone here can invite me to their house for dinner anytime. The food pictures always make me hungry (I'm with you, kristin@going country - that cake + my cup of tea = perfect start to the day).
Emily, I'm really good at worrying too; I agree it's a great motivator to be intentional about frugality so that's one less thing to have to constantly worry about! In fact, your whole "why" answer really resonated with me. I also want to be a good steward and have a small footprint.
And good luck as you start to navigate the way ahead with your oldest child & technology. I'll never forget when my daughter got to middle school and a speaker for some unknown reason told the kids to "raise your hand if you have a smartphone...now raise your hand if you have a dumb phone" (which was what she had at that time). Yeah, thanks buddy...
@Suz, oh no! Why would a speaker do that??? That's terrible!
Thank you for writing, Emily! Your home community sounds lovely.
I was struck by the sentence "I like to treat other people (and myself) to nice things." A close relative of mine can blow her whole budget with finding gifts for other people, and trying to keep them equal, and including everyone, and shopping for the hard-to-shop-for, and supporting charitable groups. I hope you can find the right balance of treating and saving, because that can be hard, especially with children.
Hi Emily, nice to hear about your life (and everyone else's who have shared about their frugal journeys!) The part about "my time is worth too much to spend so much of it working on things like that unless it’s for fun" really resonates with me right now. We are also at a point where our work-lives are getting to be so demanding that we want the weekends to be more relaxing, whereas we used to spend a big chunk of every weekend working around the house and yard and not outsourcing anything. This, in addition to the kids sports activities, ate up so much of our free time. We are trying to be more mindful of where we place our time and energy. Sometimes it's a saving, but otherwise it means spending more on a service.
In some ways I found it much easier to be frugal when there simply was no money. It's much harder to make choices now when we have some money to spend, and I am really afraid the "lifestyle creep". Some lifestyle changes are to be expected as there are so many needs and wants that were put off for a long time, but where and how do you draw the line?
Kristen, perhaps this could be a great topic on the blog 🙂
Fab pics!! So nice to meet you!!!
I enjoy hearing from people who aren't naturally frugal because I am not either. Thanks for sharing!
I would like to second your words: "love how kind and warm you are, Kristen."
I'm late to the party here because of the Queen's funeral plus a medical appointment, but hello, Emily! As a native Southerner (I'm originally from TN), an environmentalist, and a world-class worrier in my own right, I salute you.
I know not to go to the grocery store hungry, lol. I didn't know I was going to have to be careful reading my favorite blog on a hungry morning. Love all the food pictures!
For someone who claims to not be inherently frugal, you sure do it well! I love the glimpses of how you have fun with your family--crafts, parks, libraries, and making snow ice cream have all been featured fun at my house, too.
My observation of the do-it-from-scratch mentality--I have found that in my slower seasons of life (when I am working fewer hours, for example), I do a lot more cooking and baking from scratch (but never yogurt--I don't have the slightest desire to make that!). When life ramps up (working more hours, living the "sandwich generation" life), I am much more likely to take shortcuts. I am still more likely to prepare home-cooked meals instead of eating out, but I don't hesitate to purchase the items that will speed up the process (pre-cut veggies, for instance). My time and my sanity are worth preserving! 🙂 Life seasons evolve and it's important that we update our lifestyle to accommodate those changes.
For whatever it's worth, I have found that making bar cookies instead of traditional drop cookies saves me a ton of time. Averiecooks.com has many tasty options.
I agree with Kristen, that lemon chicken looks very good!
Have never heard of Snow Cream and now want to make it for grand-kids.
'Southern Living' is a good site.
Great photos, thanks for sharing your thoughts with us.
Hi Emily!
I loved your share. You did a really good job of including relevant photos, especially the worried robot after you talked about being good at worrying. 😉
I have a question: how did you manage to get your graduate degrees funded? I'm 48 and am working on my BA, also for free. But, I keep hearing that it's rare to not have to go into debt for anything more than that.
Christie
Oh gosh, definitely hearing you on balancing making things from scratch vs. time. Our freezer used to be full of homemade dumplings, homemade meatballs, homemade chicken broth, homemade pasta sauce...now we're more of a "scrambled eggs for dinner" family. It is what it is! Someday we'll have those things again. I do miss the dumplings...
I have never had a beagle but I love the way they look. I appreciate the reminder that you don't need to make everything from scratch. I read blogs where the folks make everything from scratch and I feel some guilt that I ever buy yogurt, bread, canned soup and so on. Well, off I go to make a chocolate cake for dessert. I cannot unsee the picture of your cake so I might as well give in and make one.
@Lindsey, They are wonderful dogs. I've had at least one and sometimes three since I was 20 years old. They are absolute sweethearts and perfect with children. Downsides: they are stubborn (they're supposed to run in a pack, hunting, not listening to their owner), they are chowhounds (my beloved Alfie used to open the fridge door by himself and snack on whatever), and they can be, um, howly. (Again, it's the breed. They're supposed to yelp when on the chase. So they're loud.)
Did I also mention they're the cutest things ever? Because they are.
What a great post! I love hearing this reader's perspective precisely because she wasn't born with a frugal gene. It is interesting to read about her journey. Thank you, Emily, for sharing!
I love that your geography includes closeness to a beach and snow only once a year! We are wanting to move but not sure where to just yet lol Is it cold there in the winter, besides the one day it snows?
This was such a great post! I agree with and love Emily's comment about frugality being a bigger concept than just saving money and about being responsible with the things we have. That's something I've been focusing on lately too. Thanks Emily!
Thanks for sharing, Emily! I also try to help my kids find joy in the little things. Our life is not as glamorous or flashy as some of their friends, but there are so many gifts to enjoy everyday and I want them to see those instead of just what we lack.
Consuming less is something I'm working on. Sometimes I feel like I'm not sure where to start. We already eat at home and wear a lot of secondhand things. But perhaps little changes will come to mind as the weeks go on. Thanks for giving me more to think about!
Emily, I feel like we are kindred spirits! I also am the spender from a family of frugal people, can worry a whole lot about anything, and prioritize food budget because I love cooking! It's such a pleasure to meet people from around the world that I can identify so much with through Kristen's 'Meet a Reader' posts.