Meet a Reader | Barrie
Hello, everyone! We're back to America for this week's reader interview. And next week, we'll meet a reader from Finland.
1. Tell us a little about yourself
My name is Barrie and I’m a 36 year old stay-at-home mom of 2. My son is 6 and my daughter is 9.
I decided to stay home when my son was born because my daughter's daycare woman decided to retire, and I was 9 months pregnant with my son and had no clue how I was ever going to find someone I trusted the way I trusted her.
The cost of daycare was so expensive, I basically worked to pay for it. So I went back to work for 3 months after my maternity leave so I didn’t have to pay back the benefits I used when I was off, put in my notice, and have been home since!
I was going to go back to work last Sept, but COVID happened and my kids didn’t end up going to school full time so that plan is put off for the foreseeable future.
We live in southeast MA. My husband and I bought my parents home, and built an in law for them, so they live with us as well.
We have a little over an acre of land and we’re tucked back in the woods so it’s nice and private.
We have a 16.5 year old dog named Freddie, and 9 chickens (only half have names! We have Nugget, Ameila, Pecks, and Fluffy, and then rest are unnamed).
We just got the chickens in Sept., so it’s been really fun learning about them! We get 9 eggs a day and I sold a few dozen but I’m not a good business person so now I just give away what we won’t use to family and friends.
We are currently homeschooling due to COVID, but it is definitely not my favorite thing to do, so we are exploring other options for next year! I was able to teach my son to read and he loves math and sciences.
My daughter is in 4th grade and I’ve struggled on how to teach her because she and I are way too similar and butt heads.
It’s been a long year.
I like to cook (and eat!) a lot! I love exploring new recipes on Pinterest and blogs.
I also really love to exercise. I gained a lot of weight after college and was really upset with myself, so we joined the Y and it took me a few years to actually go into the building because I was so anxious. I finally did 3 or 4 years ago, and have made the greatest friends!
I was devastated when everything shut down because that was my one release and break from my SAHM life.
But my husband bought me a (used) spin bike just before everything started shutting down (and now the prices on them have skyrocketed! We got a steal comparatively), we have a treadmill (well it’s dead right now but looking to get it repaired) and I have been slowly buying small exercise items (dumbells, rings, TRX straps, stuff like that).
We have built up quite the small at-home gym here, but unfortunately we don’t have the SPACE for it so it’s all in our breezeway/entryway and the treadmill is in the garage (which caused it to age prematurely), but it gets used and no one really comes over currently so I don’t mind.
We love to camp. We bought our (used) camper 2 summers ago and haven’t gone on a big trip yet but we do small weekend trips here and there.
We are planning on going to TN this summer with my best friend and her family, and I am really excited!
2. How long have you been reading The Frugal Girl?
I believe for 10 years or so now?
I know I found the blog when my husband and I were living in our old condo, which we moved out of 10 years ago this October.
3. How did you get interested in saving money?
My mother has always been frugal. I grew up thinking we were poor, but now I understand they were just being smart with their money. We never had fancy cars or clothes, would borrow DVDs from the library instead of going to movies, would camp instead of stay at hotels, would stay at State Parks vs. private campgrounds, very rarely ever went out to eat.
So I grew up “this way”, but when I was a teenager I wanted to have what everyone else had, so I got a credit card and got myself into a lot of debt.
When my husband and I got engaged, we sat down and figured out a way to get ourselves out of debt before our wedding. We did it! We still have debt, but I look at it as “good debt”: our house, a small amount on our camper, my husband just got a new truck so we have an auto loan on that, and our mortgage.
But we have no student loans, no credit cards, and no personal loans. We pay off loans as soon as we can (usually years ahead). We have a financial advisor through my husband’s work and she said we’re doing well!
4. What's the "why" behind your money-saving efforts?
I don’t like to waste money! I don’t try to “keep up with the Joneses”. I don’t even know the last time I bought myself new clothes. I don’t care about fashion or makeup.
I just live a pretty simple life, I think.
5. What's your best frugal win?
Buying our house.
We were able to sell our condo to my sister for what we owed and bought the house from my parents for what they owed. We added the in-law, which gave us 600+ more square footage, which increased the value off the bat.
Walking into the house we had quite a lot of equity. Now with the housing market being so high, we have even more. We also refinanced last year so we took our mortgage down from a 30 year, to a 15, and with the low-interest rate, we’re saving money there too.
We did take out a home equity loan to do some updating in the house, but that has been paid off.
6. What's a dumb money mistake you've made?
Getting myself into credit card debt as a teenager. I used to charge EVERYTHING: going out to eat, new clothes, vacations.
I’m just glad we were able to take care of it when I was still relatively young.
7. What's one thing you splurge on?
Chiropractor, massage, pedicures, and a house cleaner. I was recently diagnosed with chronic inflammation, and have been dealing with joint pain since my early 20s. So the chiro and massage help with that.
The pedicure: I just like getting my toes done 🙂
And the house cleaner comes once a month and it gives me ONE DAY where I don’t have to constantly clean to keep up. It’s so worth it to me.
8. What's one thing you aren't remotely tempted to splurge on?
Clothes, shoes, makeup, hair, cars.
Clothes
My wardrobe currently is pretty simple seeing as I stay home 90% of the day - black leggings, t-shirt, sweatshirt, and in the summer - capris, t-shirt, flip flops.
I just don’t care about fashion at all.
Also, it seems like every time I try to go shopping, I can’t find anything that fits right. So I just don’t bother. If we happen to go out somewhere (rare right now), I have a couple of nicer shirts.
Shoes
Shoes - I can never find things that fit and feel comfortable so I just wear my Bearpaws in the winter, flip flops in the summer, sneakers when my backs acting up.
Make-up and Hair
I just don’t care. I get my hair cut once every 6 months.
Car
My kids are still young and destroy my car so I won’t upgrade until they’re older. I did get a new car in 2018 because my old car was 10 years old and starting to go. We decided to upgrade and we got an ex-rental used vehicle, which saved us a ton of money.
9. If $1000 was dropped into your lap today, what would you do with it?
Oh geez…I honestly don’t know!
My husband “gave” me some money a few months ago to splurge with as a “thank you” for all of the hard work I do.
(I don’t want flowers, jewelry, clothes, etc, so he didn’t know what to do and figured giving me the money for me to buy what I wanted was better! LOL).
I didn’t touch it until a few weeks ago and I bought myself some griddle accessories for the Blackstone griddle I got for our camper, and a few small exercise equipment things, nothing extravagant. I still have ⅔ of the money!
If someone gave me $1000 right now I’d probably:
- go get my nails done
- get a new treadmill (mine died a few months ago)
- get new sneakers
- maybe try to get some new clothes. I’ve had the same sweatshirts for like 10 years.
10. Share a frugal tip with other Frugal Girl readers
Don’t waste food!! Buy what you’ll eat and eat what you have. I try to stretch our food budget by shopping at Aldi and then the local grocery store for their weekly sales.
I don’t buy name brands except for a few items that we prefer the name brand of (and then I buy them on sale with coupons!) and I cook almost everything at home.
I buy used (especially the Amazon Warehouse! If you haven’t, check it out. It’s usually in the warehouse because the box is damaged but the product is fine. You can save upwards of 50%!).
I also pick up items in the free section of the dump and sell them for a little bit of cash.
I realize you said A TIP and that’s several but I just really like to share ideas to help others.
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Barrie, thanks for participating in this series! I have a question for you: I have never heard of a free section at a dump. Can you tell us more about that?
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thanks for taking the time to share! I'm a huge dog person, but my favourite photo was actually of you holding the lil chick. So cute and adorable!
I found it funny that you were able to remember WHERE you were when you started reading the blog. I find myself thinking about time the same way (where did I live when I did XYZ and what did I wear).
@a curious reader, that was so early in the morning! I had to run to the post office to pick them up before heading to my pain management appointment. I think I was at the post office at 5am. My kids were waiting at the door for me to come on with them and they were SCREAMING because they were so excited! Haha. Seems like so long ago but it was less than a year ago!
Hi Barrie! I have to ask about the xylophone that's in with the chickens. Do they peck it and play it with their beaks? I could totally see chickens doing that. 🙂
@kristin @ going country, I bought it for that reason (used, of course lol) but they don’t!!
@kristin @ going country, That was my question too! : )
Hi Barrie - this was fun to read! Your kids are dear and Freddie is a cutie. It's so nice that your children will grow up with their grandparents so close by. Do you live near Cape Cod? One of my kids took a road trip earlier this summer and said that Cape Cod is beautiful. I hope to visit that area someday.
@BJS, we live close! About 30 min. I actually don’t go to the Cape often, it’s sooo busy over the summer. After the kids go back to school I might go to the beach if it’s still a nice day!!
It is nice to meet you, Barrie. I love your enthusiasm and honesty. I agree that buying used is a great money saver. I would say 80% of my purchases are previously loved items. It is good for your pocketbook and wonderful for the environment to reuse and repurpose items. Even fine antiques are a bunch of old, used stuff.
I love her enthusiasm too; she likes exclamation marks as much as I do! 🙂
Our local dump has a spot where you can drop off stuff you don't want or need but is still too good to toss.
@Rose, Our local transfer station does too. It was closed during COVID though and has only reopened recently. Also, the attendants at the transfer station have to approve what you drop off.
Nice to "meet" Barrie! What a fun personality she has!
Nice to meet you, Barrie! Thank you for sharing your life and family with us. Nothing gets me quite like an old dog’s white face. <3
Re: getting new sweatshirts, have you thought about just dying some the ones you have? RIT is very user friendly and can refresh old favorites for just a few dollars a box. The main thing to be careful of is fabric content (natural fibers work best, though there is a RITpoly for synthetics) and giving your washer a good bleaching afterwards.
@N, I haven’t but it’s funny, when I posted this it was April or so. My thrifty aunt got me a sweatshirt for my birthday! And then I got a sweatshirt to represent my daughters club soccer team. So I have a couple new ones now!
Love all the pictures, thanks! I was especially impressed with the pic of you running up the stadium stairs. It's great how you've found ways to fit exercise in even when your gym closed; it's definitely been a big pandemic struggle!
Thanks for the Amazon Warehouse tip too - I always forget about that..
@Suz, thank you! Spartans are fun but it’s expensive and a long day!!
Barrie, it was nice to meet you! If you don't mind answering, what do you feed your dog? My two previous female dogs lived to be 14 but barely. Their respective last twelve months were not easy for either of them. Your Freddie is precious. 🙂
@Molly F. C., hi! We feed him Blue Seal senior dry food, and then I make wet food for him and give a little in his dry. I use ground beef, blueberries, green beans, brown rice, and carrots or pumpkin. I add turmeric too!
Hi, Barrie, it's so nice to meet you.
I love the picture of the old dog - we lost one a few years ago at age 16, and we still miss that old girl.
We used to have a "free spot" at our dump, but my always-on-the-ball county stepped in and stopped it. They now refuse to let the attendants neatly maintain a free section or let anyone take perfectly good stuff from said free section; they'd rather pay to haul it off and dump it at the district collection site in the next county.
Yes to "don't waste food!" If I manage to waste food, I get so aggravated with myself. It's the same thing as opening your purse and dumping cash into the trash can.
Thanks for sharing!
A lot of great comments. I notice kids are either cool with parents being frugal or think the family is poor. My 12 year old for some reason wants to think we're poor. I'm a single parent and have been most of her life. First couple years I had to be extremely careful w any spending. Every penny was counted. Last 4 years we have more leeway. My kid would complain we never did anything. She wants to do something every day, which I'd prefer to stay home some days and recharge my batteries. We still go to the occasional movie, local Festivals(Covid willing. We did things once or twice a week before. We'd go to the local state parks and walk around especially during.), and I do buy most things used or on sale. My grandma and I have set her down multiple times to explain we aren't poor, because we have what we need and can pay the bills. (That there are people who struggle with this.)She gets things in her head. She thought I never wore hand me downs growing up. (Which I have.) It's because I say no. I haven't had cable her whole life. When she was little she asked for the occasional item, usually at the grocery store. As she got older and went to school she got where she wanted everything the other kids did. I've always told her if we couldn't do something because we had to watch our money. I'd point out when we were able to do or get something, because we didn't do something else. I know part of it is her maturity level mixed with the got to have stuff now mentality.
@Amie, yes, that age can be so difficult. Kids, especially around the teen years, can make you feel so bad about yourself sometimes. Just keep doing what you're doing, it will permeate through and mean more to her when she is older. Also, it's nice to have your mother be on your side because it's hard to fight that battle alone.
@Anne,
We threw out our TV set back in 1973. We raised our two sons without it. Totally. We went to the public library all the time. We always checked out a stack of books each time. We read stories. Very good for the imagination. I don't remember them complaining we had no set. I will admit they watched TV at their friend's houses.
Somehow they found other things to do besides sitting in front of that idiot box.
It was so fun to read about you, Barrie! I'm totally with you on love for the gym and the community there and the break from the SAHM routine. Our gym's childcare just opened up a few weeks ago and I almost cried the first time we drove up to go back to our normal morning activities.
Great tip about eating the food you buy! I'm trying to work on that with my kids. ("No, you can't have a snack because it's not that long ago that you threw away half of your lunch.") Any tips for helping kids with this concept? Mine are 7, 5, and 3.
@Ruth T, a mom that I know did this with her children. The kids each had their own small section in the fridge. Their leftovers went to those spaces along with uneaten perishable snacks. The children could decide when they were full, and didn't have to finish a meal, but when hungry outside of family meal times they went back to their own designated food. Would something like this help?
@Molly F. C.,
That's a good idea. I don't often save food that's already been eaten from off plates, but I could!
That was really interesting! You and your husband have made excellent choices along the way. Thanks for sharing. I’m definitely going to check out the Amazon warehouse! I wonder if there’s one for Canada?
Barrie: I enjoyed learning about your life and seeing your pictures. Thanks for sharing!
Oh, I hope our dog who looks like yours lives to be 16.5! He's 11 now.
Would love to hear more about Amazon warehouse. Is this a physical warehouse you can go to (and if so, how do you find one), or is it an online thing?
@Bonnie, no it’s online! Just look in the menu for Amazon Wearhouse. It’s usually items that have been returned so they’re repackaged but still new.
Thanks for sharing, Barrie! 🙂 I enjoyed reading about you and your family. I also splurge on a house cleaner once a month. It makes such a difference to have a "deep clean" once a month!
How do you access the Amazon Warehouse?
Hi Barrie, sounds like you have been very smart with the housing! What I am wondering (English is not my native language): what is an in-law? Is it a adjacent apartment of some kind? Thanks for the response! J.
@J, I don't know what form Barrie's in-law set-up takes, but I think you've got the picture! I've seen them as a separate suite attached to a house (like maybe above a garage or in a separate wing), or as a small separate building on the property, with its own small kitchen etc. (They might have particular types of names but I tend to call them all "in-law suites"!)
@Suz,
Thanks! We have similar in the Netherlands, often a suite the size of a garage or such. They are sometimes referred to as Kangaroo houses! J.
@J, Hi! Sorry for the late reply, we were traveling and had spotty service. Yes an inlaw is an adjacent apartment! My parents have 600 sq. ft. (that's what our town would allow) and we share a laundry which adds about 600 more sq. ft. for them (they have some storage in there). They have a bedroom, full bath, full kitchen, living room, and full basement!
Hi Barrie, it is a pleasure to "meet" you. It's nice to see a fellow MA reader. I am in southeastern MA, too! We got 6 chickens last summer and, like you, mostly just give away the extra eggs to friends/family.
I also saw your comment about the Cape, and agree that it's not really worth it to try to go there in the summer!
@Carla D, totally not worth it for me either!! I bet we’re close to each other!!
@Barrie Desrochers, @CarlaD, I live in Hanover,MA
@Karen, I'm Bridgewater!
@Barrie DESROCHERS, I’m in Plymouth!
Didn't know about Amazon warehouse, Thanks for that tip!
So nice to meet you, Barrie, and I had to laugh -- not gonna lie -- my first thought when COVID hit was Thank Goodness my daughter is all grown up -- I suspect we would have butted heads, too (though she is my favorite person in the world). But how great you were able to teach your little guy to read ! Love the chickens and love Massachusetts, where I grew up. Enjoyed reading this so much!
@priskill, it has been a LONG 513 days.....but who's counting LOL
They'll be going to a private homeschool pod sort of thing next year, instead of back to public. They'll be in school time, it's just not accredited yet (she's working on it) so it's considered home school. I don't want to say I'm counting down the days but........I am ready for a break!
Kristen! I just saw your question at the bottom of the post. We were traveling and had NO service at the campground and in the mountains, which was great! I tried replying while we were out in town but I also didn't want to miss the sights. I'm catching up on emails and stuff now!
So the free section is just like someone else mentioned, it's where people put stuff they want to get rid of but is too nice to throw away (plus we pay per bulk item so it saves them money, too!). Stuff I can think of that I picked up were: a bungee chair for my daughters room, a set of exercise steps (like step aerobics steps), an easel, a kids picnic table, and more! It's VERY hit or miss, but sometimes we get lucky! I generally use everything I pick up and then sell it for a few bucks when we don't need it anymore. We even got a kids climbing structure and I got a baby corral, and baby gates! All still in use. I used the corral for the chickens when we were introducing them to the outside, and the baby gates for when my niece and nephew come over! Oh and a kids table and chairs...lots of stuff for our basement school!