"It's just money."
This is a much-ballyhooed phrase in the personal finance world, largely because people use it to justify all sorts of irresponsible financial behavior.
Maxing out your credit card for a trip to Europe? Eh, it's just money.
Buying a house whose mortgage takes 70% of your income? Eh, it's just money.
And so on.
But for those of us who are naturally spending-averse, I actually think this can be a helpful phrase.
The problem is that some of us are too scared of spending money.
We're not even close to loading up the credit card with European vacation expenses...we're over here obsessing about every tiny expenditure, even when we definitely do have money to pay for those expenditures.
I know, because I'm very spending-averse! Part of it is just my nature, and part of it is probably due to living on a very small income for a lot of years.
Whatever the reason, sometimes I need to be reminded that it is just money.
If a car gets totaled or medical expenses roll in or someone needs therapy or the septic system has problems or I get a library late fee, or I miss an early-bird discount, I need to remember that it's just money.
In our current financial situation, it's not like a library late fee is going to put us into foreclosure. And we have a savings account for home repairs and car repairs.
Nothing really dreadful is going to happen if we have to spend some of our money, so what am I afraid of?
And besides, it's ultimately true that if money can fix a problem, it's not really that big of a problem. It's the problems money can't fix that are big.
If you're more of a natural spender, then you can probably pass this message by. Pay attention to the "Save more of your money!" peptalks.
But if you're a diehard tightwad like me, there's little chance you'll suddenly become a profligate spendthrift, and you probably need to hear this as much as I do:
"It's the problems money can't fix that are big." That right there is some serious wisdom.
Totally agree!
Thirded. As someone with sufficient funds for my needs and usually modest lifestyle[1], I am in a position to think that if the problem can be solved with money, then it's not too big a problem.
[1] My luxury is travel.
My mother always tells me that it is silly to worry over money because you either have it or you don't. She also reminds me that if you have your health, you have everything...wise words.
The longer that we are frugal by choice the easier it is to recognize that it's just money.
Great message!!! Money is an object and to us it is just money. But it sure isn't going to be a noose to control our life or constrict our life in an unhealthy way.
I'm very spending-averse too. I'm extremely frugal and prefer to keep my expenses to the minimum.
It uses to be much worse before hubby and I got married. We got into a couple of big fights became I was not willing to spend any money at all. Things are better now, and we are pretty much on the same page about our finances 🙂
I too am mostly spending-adverse. I have loosened up some what over the years. I feel as though it is somewhat my responsibility to spend (usually wisely) to help keep the economy flowing.
We had septic issues over the weekend. Total came to just under $1000. It was a headache and a pain but because we have a fully funded emergency fund and a savings account it was not an emergency for us.
I have this issue a lot. I saw how a lack of money affected (and in some cases still does affect) people around me. So I am pretty averse to spending money, even in the times when I know it would make me happier.
My wife tells me I deprive myself and I probably do but at the same time I am so far out of the spending mindset that I don't even know what I should be doing to enjoy myself.
If I may suggest an exercise: ask yourself what you would do if someone gave you $10 million. Thing big, be wild, brainstorm with your spouse.
Maybe you'd hire someone for 90 minutes each morning to make breakfast, do the dishes, and clean up; freeing you and your wife to get yourselves ready and play (rather than clean up after) your child. Maybe you'd get a car and driver so you don't have to spend time looking for parking. Maybe you'd sponsor an entire public school class' college applications, or get laundry pickup and delivery, or quit your job and garden all day long.
This is so me. I hate spending money. We saved our tax refund to buy a new fridge. We bought our house last August and the fridge that was there has a short in it ,and there is a broken shelf and drawer. It still "works", so I had a really hard time spending money on a new one. I finally pulled the trigger last week. We'll put the old one in the garage for drinks and overflow. I had to take some big deep breaths 🙂
Check your fridge online... Some older ones cost so much to run that it is cheaper to buy a new one. I know several energy companies ran promotions for people to get rid of garage fridges because the energy costs are huge, but people don't calculate it out.
I am partially spending-adverse, but I've been known to suddenly buy a number of things if I've really wanted them for a very long time. Then I straighten up and don't spend except on necessary stuff for a very long time again. I guess I'm a binge spender.
Money is necessary in our world, but it isn't all we should be living for or thinking about. When a person is truly poor and desperate for money, that person usually obsesses about money. That's kind of understandable, but what annoys me is when I see people who have money, at least enough for their needs and a good few of their wants, obsessing about money. I want to shake them and tell them it's okay to be frugal, more power to you for that, but it's just money -- stop leaving $1 tips, and stop getting others to give you a ride to save gas without reciprocating, and stop bringing a dozen deviled egg halves to a picnic for 40. Not that I'm thinking of anyone specifically here, ahem.
I know a couple of someones like that. It's difficult when it's close (very close) relatives. I finally had to put my foot down with my husband about these relatives. They have a big house, they drive really nice vehicles, their children went to private schools and they take a couple of vacations a year. Yet, if we went out to eat, it seems that both had "forgotten" their wallets at home. Tools were borrowed repeatedly, never returned in a timely fashion and sometimes returned in bad repair with no offer to fix the item. My husband and I were often asked for help (we're both competent DIYers) and would spend days working on projects at their home. But any time we asked for a few hours help with something, they were always too busy or had some other excuse. A party for 40 people and you're asked to bring deviled eggs....I err on the side of caution and make 4 dozen eggs figuring one egg per person with a little extra. They would bring one dozen eggs with the attitude that other people were bringing stuff and if someone didn't get a half egg......oh well, they could eat something else. I could go on and on but you get the idea. They aren't poor and struggling to make ends meet. And being "frugal" at the expense of other people's wallets isn't frugal, it's being stingy moochers. The hubs and I have stopped allowing ourselves to be mooched off of by this couple. They want to borrow something? Sorry, we're using it. Need us out DIY skills? Sorry, we're busy. Go out to dinner? Sorry, we have other plans. I know it sounds mean but there's a limit even with family.
Why not tell the truth? We had a moocher in the family that people tip-toed around. I got tired of not being straight so one day when we were making plans to go out, I pulled him aside and said that we were all sick of him never remembering his wallet. And while we were at it, he needed to bring more than an already opened bag of chips to the next family potluck, and unless he helped with Mom and Dad's lawn upkeep next time he moved he would be doing it without our pickup or labor. End of problem. Seething in silence doesn't fix anything.
This couple isn't related to me, but we were in a group together at church for a long time and we got to know them well. Yep, they were basically moochers. Amazingly, one day the husband actually offered me some venison, as he had killed two deer that were being processed (it's expensive to hunt here, by the way) and his big freezer was already packed with venison from last year that they hadn't been able to eat up. He needed to get rid of it, he said, he had a ton of it, he said, did I want some? I almost fainted at this unexpected generosity, but gladly agreed to take some. He showed up next Sunday with the venison for me -- one pound of it.
Love the term 'spending-averse'; nice to know I'm not the only one with this affliction.
https://www.google.ca/search?q=define+spendthrift&oq=define+spendt&aqs=chrome.1.69i57j0l3.9912j1j4&client=ms-android-bell-ca&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8
@Joan,
"But if you’re a diehard tightwad like me, there’s little chance you’ll suddenly become a profligate spendthrift."
This quote and Kristen's answer to your first comment show she clearly understands the word. Perhaps you are linking this definition for others who might be confused? Either way, it seems rather, um, unnecessary to correct the author when her meaning was clear.
When an H&M opened in my area, the newspaper article carried the headline, "Spendthrifts Rejoice", which I thought was darn clever, until it became clear that the author was indeed misusing the word. I wasn't sad to see it close a few years later...
Thank you so much for this post. It came as I am waiting to see what my copay for recent surgery will be. You really helped me put the amount (whatever it will be as somehow the copays always seem more than their literature states!) in perspective.
I tend to fall in the "tightwad" camp. Hubs has always been more spendy, but we definitely balance each other out. I tend to freak out over the numbers and sometimes lose sight of the important things. I'm known to delay medical checkups or procedures because I'm scared of spending. But, when compared to everything else in life, it's just money.
Diehard tightwads unite!!! Seriously, I can totally relate to this post. Usually when I end up spending money that I don't want to spend it's because I'm trying to solve some sort of a problem and it isn't going well. My current dilemma has been trying to cure my sore rear end on long bike rides. I've gone through several bike seats and sets of shorts trying to find something that works, and they aren't cheap. It takes effort not to beat myself up for spending money on something that didn't end up working for me. I have to remind myself that in the broad scheme of things it really is a drop in the bucket, and ultimately cycling keeps my healthy, so I suppose one could consider those expenses an investment of sorts.
I'm looking for the same thing. Any luck?
You have my deepest sympathies! I fear it's a very complicated formula including the type of bike you ride, the width of your sit bones, whether your female anatomy is an "innie" or an "outie" (seriously, who knew?) and a whole slew of other variables. Turns out I have very wide sit bones so I had to special order a saddle that was wide enough and had a big enough cutout (a Lithia 168 made by Specialized). I also discovered that something weird about the way I'm built makes bike shorts not fit right - the pad ends up in the wrong place. I solved that problem by switching to "bibs" - they're sort of like bike short overalls, and apparently the lack of waistband somehow makes the pad sit in the right place. So I think I'm closing in on it. Anyhow, I wish you the best of luck. If there's a bike store near you that carries the Specialized brand, they actually have a device called an "assometer" (not kidding) that you sit on and it measures the width of your sit bones. From there they can help you find an appropriate saddle for the type of bike you're riding - not saying that brand is perfect, but knowing that my sit bones were too wide for my old seat was a very helpful first step. Gook luck! Seriously, I feel your pain! 🙂
This couldn't have come at a better time for me! Our son is getting married, our foster daughter is also getting married (not to each other :)) and it is killing me to put the $ on the credit card. Flights, dresses, presents, cakes, food, flowers -- deep breath -- it's only money. Thank you
If you haven’t already read it, check out the book ‘worry free money, by Shannon Lee Simmons. It is by far the VERY BEST book I have ever read on personal finance and I have read lots of them. My favourite quote from the book is ‘We aren’t on this earth merely to pay our phone bills.’ Since reading the book, I have slept better, learned to enjoy spending, and have overcome the fear and guilt that would accompany any spending that was done. Highly, highly recommended,
A spendthrift is someone who spends wastefully. Look it up.
Yep, that's the way I was using it. I was saying there's little danger of diehard tightwads becoming profligate money-wasters. Those of us who hold onto money too tightly are very unlikely to over-correct and end up as wasteful spenders.
That's exactly how she used it? Maybe you should read more carefully?
I saw a financial planner several years ago and he asked me what my goals were- I wanted all 3 of my children to be able to go away to college and graduate debt free. I'd probably be sitting with a lot more cash now if I didn't succeed with those goals but that was what I wanted. I also like to be able to be generous and that's why I am still working at age 70 but I love my job and life! I simply DESPISE paying for home maintenance and should sell my home and move to an apartment- I have no mortgage Whew. I'm thinking within the next 5 years. It's just $$.
Nicely written. I think people tend to fall into two categories (this is my own theory, mind you, based on zero research!). The first category? Money as a way to feel secure. This is my category--I feel secure if we have an emergency fund, have paid off our house, have a steady income, that I will be "safe" .... all good things but none of us know the future so while it's good to be wise with money, I need to recognize when I go on super-frugalista binges that I don't have total control of anything. The second category is money as a way to bring pleasure--those people are more of the "spender" crowd. Both of these are extreme and truthfully, I have a little of both in me, but I'm more in danger of putting my security in money than I am of racking up huge credit card bills to fund my shoe closet. Told ya my theory was untested! 🙂
I love your theory and it makes total sense to me. Some folks get comfort from spending, others get comfort from having money in the bank.
Although I am spending-averse in general, my goal is purposeful in that I chose to be frugal in order to be able to spend money on what I believe to be important. Two recent examples I blogged about elsewhere include helping my aging dog to be comfortable in her "golden years" and contributing to my DD's European school activity trip during spring break 2019. The reward of frugality is that it can enable possibilities where none existed previously. The ends (what I value) justify the means (frugality). Frugality without goals doesn't serve any real purpose other than security.
Money is nothing but a tool, you just have to know when it's appropriate to use and when it's not
These days I'm definitely on the tightwad side. I've never overspent my income but I've been both more and less careful in my past.
Some things I have no problems spending money on. I'll spend a lot to buy well-fitting shoes. Other things I'll almost never buy, such as new books.
But there's a large category of things I probably could/should spend money on and won't. Right now I'm on a trip that is mostly free but what I do have to pay for is stupid, wicked expensive. Dinner, for example. It's pricy to start with, and tax and service charge almost 30% on top of that. A simple dinner for one could easily be $50. I find myself scrounging from breakfast leftovers instead of actually eating.
William,
You are my twin, separated at birth.
M
When we met, my husband was the saver and I was the spender. We've balanced each other out, and the best thing we've done for balance is that we have a spreadsheet with all of our anticipated income and debts. It helps to see the impact of a purchase in black and white.
I needed to hear this today. My husband is taking classes for software development right now and is in a job that doesn't pay well at all. Things are tight. Both of our older vehicles needed parts replaced in the last two months ($200 each!), our roof is leaking (which I'm afraid will need replaced sooner than I'd like), and we will need a new furnace/AC in the future too. All of these things overwhelm me with how much it's going to cost! I have to count my blessings every day and remind myself that God will provide.
Oh man, that's so hard. We've had to replace the heat pump/AC in both the houses we've owned, and both of those times were in our low income stage of life. It's tough to weather big expenses like that!
Hang in there. Mr. FG used to be in warehousing, but he took classes and got certs in IT stuff and once he made that career switch, it helped out the income situation a lot. I hope the same is true for you guys.